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Eng^lsy  Geo  E  Perine.NewT&rlc 

A  D   ^WORTHINGTON  Sc    C° 


Tell  It  All": 



OCT   r,  1917 

%«(t.(t  l(^ 


Mrs.  T.  B.  H.  STENHOUSE, 


With  Introductory  Preface  by  Mrs.  Harriet  Beecher  Stowe. 

Full-page  Illustrations,  and  steel-plate  Portrait  of  the  Author. 




A.     D.     WORTHINGTON      &      C  O.,      PUBLISHERS. 

Queen   City   Publishing  Co.,  Cincinnati.       Excelsior   Publishing  Co.,    St.  Louis. 

Louis  Lloyd  &  Co.,  Chicago.     A.  L.  Bancroft  &  Co.,  San  Francisco. 


lAU  rights  of  translation  reserved.\ 

Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1874, 

By  a.  D.  WORTHINGTON  &  CO., 

In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington,  D.  C. 

[Entered  also  at  Stationers  Hall,  London,  Eng.] 









CHAS.  SPIEGLE,  of  New  York. 


STEEL-PLATE  PORTRAIT  OF  THE  AUTHOR,        -        -         Frontispiece. 

STEEL-PLATE  PORTRAIT  OF  BRIGHAM  YOUNG,    -        -        -    To  face,  265 


GEORGE  A.  SMITH,  THE  NEW  TRUSTEE-IN-TRUST,          ...  63 





TOO  TRUE! 134 



OVER  AT  LAST, 225 

VIEW  OF  MAIN  STREET,  SALT  LAKE  CITY,  [From  a  Photograph],      -  249 







SCENE  OF  THE  MOUNTAIN  MEADOWS'    MASSACRE,     -        ...  335 




"CHURCH"  STORE— j)/6^5r  BE  RIGHT! 503 

POLYGAMY  IN  LOW  LIFE— THE  POOR  MAN'S  FAMILY,    -       -        -  5.5 

POLYGAMY  IN  HIGH  LIFE— THE  PROPHET'S  MANSION,     -        -       -  5>5 


FAC-SIMILE  OF  A  MORMON  "  BILL  OF  DIVORCE,"         .        -       -        -  557 

LIGHT  AT  EVENTIDE, -       -  569 


By  the  merest  accident,  a  few  months  ago,  in  New  York 
City,  the  Publishers  became  personally  acquainted  with  Mr. 
T.  B.  H.  Stenhouse,  of  Salt  Lake  City,  the  husband  of  the 
Author  of  the  present  volume,  and  before  they  separated, 
preliminary  steps  were  taken  for  its  publication. 

Almost  a  year  before  that  time,  Mrs.  Harriet  Beecher 
Stowe,  the  talented  author  of  "  Uncle  Tom's  Cabin,"  had 
addressed  a  kind  note  to  Mrs.  Stenhouse,  congratulating  her 
upon  the  appeal  which  she  had  made  on  behalf  of  the  women 
of  Utah,  in  a  little  work  which  she  had  then  just  published. 
Some  correspondence  subsequently  ensued  between  the  two 
ladies  who  had  so  successfully  attacked  "the  twin  relics  of 
barbarism" — polygamy  and  slavery.  They  afterwards  became 
personally  acquainted  ;  and  when  Mrs.  Stenhouse  requested 
Mrs.  Stowe  to  write  the  preface  for  her  new  work,  that  gifted 
author  unhesitatingly  replied  :  "  I  am  happy  to  be  able  to  do 
the  least  thing  which  can  show  how  heartily  I  .sympathise 
with  the  effort  you  are  making.  May  God  bless  both  it 
and  you,  is  the  prayer  of  yours  ever  truly, — K    B    Stowe." 



Mrs.   Harriet  Beecher  Stowe. 

In  these  pages,  a  woman,  a  wife  and  mother,  speaks  the 
sorrows  and  oppressions  of  which  she  has  been  the  witness 
and  the  victim. 

It  is  because  her  sorrows  and  her  oppressions  are  those  of 
thousands,  who,  suffering  hke  her,  cannot  or  dare  not  speak 
for  themselves,  that  she  thus  gives  this  history  to  the  pubUc. 

It  is  no  sensational  story,  but  a  plain,  unvarnished  tale  of 
truth,  stranger  and  sadder  than  fiction. 

Our  day  has  seen  a  glorious  breaking  of  fetters.  The 
slave-pens  of  the  South  have  become  a  nightmare  of  the 
past  ;  the  auction-block  and  whipping-post  have  given  place 
to  the  church  and  school-house ;  and  the  songs  of  emanci- 
pated millions  are  heard  through  our  land. 

Shall  we  not  then  hope  that  the  hour  is  come  to  loose  the 
bonds  of  a  cruel  slavery  whose  chains  have  cut  into  the  very 
hearts  of  thousands  of  our  sisters — a  slavery  which  debases 
and  degrades  womanhood,  motherhood,  and  the  family.^ 

Let  every  happy  wife  and  mother  who  reads  these  lines 
give  her  sympathy,  prayers,  and  efforts  to  free  her  sisters 
from  this  degrading  bondage.  Let  all  the  womanhood  of  the 
country  stand  united  for  them.  There  is  a  power  in  com- 
bined enlightened  sentiment  and  s)Tnpathy  before  which 
every  form  of  injustice  and  cruelty  must  finally  go  down. 

May  He  who  came  to  break  every  yoke  hasten  this  deliver- 



In  the  fall  of  the  year  1869,  a  few  earnest,  thinking  men, 
members  of  the  Mormon  Church,  and  living  in  Salt  Lake 
City,  inaugurated  what  was  regarded  at  the  time  as  a  grand 
schism.  Those  who  had  watched  with  anxiety  the  progress  of 
Mormonism,  hailed  the  "  New  Movement "  as  the  harbinger 
of  the  work  of  disintegration  so  long  anticipated  by  the 
thoughtful-minded  Saints,  and  believed  that  the  opposition  to 
Theocracy  then  begun,  would  continue  until  the  extraordi- 
nary assumptions  of  the  Mormon  priesthood  were  exploded, 
and  Mormonism  itself  should  lose  its  political  status  and  find 
its  place  only  among  the  singular  sects  of  the  day. 

It  was  freely  predicted  that  Woman,  in  her  turn,  would 
accept  her  part  in  the  work  of  reformation,  take  up  the 
marriage  question  among  the  Saints,  and  make  an  end  of 

Little  did  I  imagine  at  that  period,  that  any  such  mission 
as  that  which  I  have  since  realised  as  mine,  was  in  the  Provi- 
dence of  Time  awaiting  me,  or  that  I  should  ever  have  the 
boldness,  either  with  tongue  or  pen,  to  plead  the  cause  of  the 
Women  of  Utah.  But,  impelled  by  those  unseen  influences 
which  shape  our  destinies,  I  took  my  stand  with  the  "  here- 
tics ;"  and,  as  it  happened,  my  own  was  the  first  woman's 
name  enrolled  in  their  cause. 

The  circumstances  which  wrought  a  change  in  my  own 
life  produced  a  corresponding  revolution  in  the  life  of  my 

In  withdrawing  from   the   Mormon  Church,  we  laid  our- 


selves,  our  associations  and  the  labors  of  over  twenty  years, 
upon  the  altar,  and  took  up  the  burden  of  life  anew.  We 
had  sacrificed  everything  in  obedience  to  the  "counsel"  of 
Brigham  Young ;  and  my  husband,  to  give  a  new  direction 
to  his  mind,  and  also  to  form  some  plan  for  our  future  life, 
thought  it  advisable  that  he  should  visit  New  York.  He  did 
so;  and  shortly  after  employed  himself  in  writing  a  history 
of  the  Mormon  Church,  which  has  since  been  published. 

In  course  of  time,  the  burden  of  providing  for  a  large 
family,  and  the  an.xiety  and  care  of  conducting  successfully 
a  business  among  a  people  who  make  it  a  religious  duty  to 
sternly  set  their  faces  against  those  who  dissent  from  their 
faith,  exhausted  my  physical  and  mental  strength.  Consider- 
ing, therefore,  that  change  might  be  beneficial  to  me,  and  my 
own  personal  affairs  urgently  calling  me  to  New  York  City,  I 
followed  my  husband  thither. 

On  my  way  East,  I  met  a  highly-valued  friend  of  my 
family,  who,  in  the  course  of  our  journey  together  over  the 
Pacific  Railroad,  enthusiastically  urged  me  to  tell  the  story 
of  my  life,  and  to  give  to  the  world  what  I  knew  about 
Polygamy.  I  had  been  repeatedly  advised  to  do  so  by  friends 
at  home,  but  up  to  that  time  no  plan  had  been  arranged 
for  carrying  out  the  suggestion. 

I  had  hardly  arrived  in  New  York,  before  the  electric 
messenger  announced  that  a  severe  snow-storm  was  raging 
on  the  vast  plains  between  the  Rocky  Mountains  and  the 
Missouri  River,  and  for  several  weeks  all  traffic  over  the 
Union  Pacific  Railroad  was  interrupted,  and  I  could  not  return 
to  my  home  in  the  distant  West. 

That  unlooked-for  snow-blockade  became  seriously  annoy- 
ing; for  not  only  was  I  most  anxious  to  return  to  my  children, 
but  also,  never  having  known  an  idle  hour,  I  could  not  live 
without  something  to  do.  At  that  moment  of  unsettled 
feeling,  a  lady-friend,  with  whom  I  was  visiting,  suggested 
again  "  tJic  book ;"  and  she  would  not  permit  me  to  leave  her 
house,  until  she  had  exacted  from  me  a  promise  that  it  should 
be  written. 


Next  morning,  I  began  my  task  in  earnest.  I  faithfully 
kept  my  room  and  labored  unremittingly ;  and  in  three  weeks 
the  manuscript  of  my  little  work  on  "Polygamy  in  Utah,"  was 

It  was  issued  in  pamphlet  form,  and  was  very  kindly 
welcomed  by  the  press  —  both  secular  and  religious  —  and 
for  this  I  was  sincerely  grateful.  I  had  not,  up  to  that  time, 
thought  of  much  else  than  its  effect  upon  the  people  of 
Utah ;  but  the  voluminous  notices  which  that  little  book 
received,  showed  the  deep  interest  which  the  people  of  the 
United  States  had  taken  in  "  the  Mormon  question,"  and  how 
ardently  they  desired  to  see  the  extinction  of  the  polygamic 
institution  among  the  Saints. 

In-  Salt  Lake  City,  I  was  so  situated  that  I  was  daily — I 
might  almost  say  hourly — brought  in  contact  with  visitors 
to  the  Modern  Zion  ;  for,  during  the  summer,  thousands  of 
travellers  pass  over  the  Pacific  Railroad.  Not  a  few  of  these 
called  to  see  me  ;  and  I  received  from  ladies  and  gentlemen — 
whose  kind  interest  in  my  welfare  I  felt  very  deeply — many 
personal  attentions,  many  words  of  sympathy  and  encourage- 
ment, and  many  intelligent  and  useful  suggestions  in  respect 
to  my  future  life.  Indeed,  I  saw  myself  quite  unexpectedly, 
and,  I  may  truthfully  say,  without  my  own  desire,  become  an 
object  of  interest. 

By  the  earnest  suggestions  of  friends  and  strangers,  and 
by  the  widely  published  opinions  of  the  press,  I  was  made  to 
feel  that  I  had  but  begun  my  work — that  I  had  but  partly  drawn 
aside  the  veil  that  covered  the  worst  oppression  and  degrada- 
tion of  woman  ever  known  in  a  civilised  country.  Nearly 
all  who  spoke  to  me  expressed  their  surprise  that  intelligent 
men  and  women  should  be  found  in  communion  with  the 
Mormon  Church,  in  which  it  was  so  clearly  evident  that  the 
teachings  of  Christianity  had  been  supplanted  by  an  attempt 
to  imitate  the  barbarism  of  Oriental  nations  in  a  long  past 
age,  and  the  sweet  influences  of  the  religion  of  Jesus  were 
superseded  by  the  most  objectionable  practices  of  the  ancient 
Jews.     How  persons  of  education  and  refinement  could  ever 


have  embraced  a  faith  that  prostrated  them  at  the  feet  of 
the  Mormon  Prophet,  and  his  successor  Brigham  Young,  was 
to  the  enquiring  mind  a  perfect  mystery. 

The  numerous  questions  which  I  had  to  answer,  and  the 
explanations  which  I  had  to  give,  shewed  me  that  my  httle 
book  had  only  whetted  the  appetite  of  the  intelligent  investi- 
gator, and  that  there  was  a  general  call  for  a  wovmiis  book 
on  Mormonism,  a  book  that  should  reveal  the  inner  life  of 
the  Saints, — exhibit  the  influences  which  had  contributed  to 
draw  Christian  people  away  from  Christian  Churches  to  the 
standard  of  the  American  Prophet,  Joseph  Smith,  and  subject 
them  to  the  power  of  that  organisation  which  has,  since  his 
death,  subjugated  the  mass  of  the  Mormon  people  in  Utah 
to  the  will  and  wickedness  of  the  Priesthood  under  the  leader- 
ship of  Brother  Brigham. 

There  have  from  time  to  time  appeared  many  works  on 
Mormonism  which  professed  to  give  an  insight  into  the  "inner 
life"  of  the  Saints.  Some  of  those  books  were  written  by 
women  ;  some  by  visitors  to  Utah,  or  persons  who  had  resided 
for  a  longer  or  shorter  period  in  the  Territory ;  and  more  than 
one  at  least  was  published  under  the  name  of  women  who 
claimed  to  be  members  of  the  Mormon  Church.  How  un- 
trustworthy the  accounts  of  visitors  and  Gentiles  are,  and  the 
reason  why  such  should  be  the  case,  I  shall  hereafter,  in  the 
course  of  this  volume,  have  occasion  to  explain  ; — and  that 
the  autobiographies  of  supposed  Mormon  women  were  equally 
unreliable,  the  following  facts  will  clearly  demonstrate. 

A  French  Lady — a  Countess  and  a  woman  of  the  world — 
Madame  Olympe  Odouard — came  to  see  me  in  Salt  Lake  City. 
She  was  a  woman  of  intelligence  and  quick  perception,  with 
whom  to  spend  an  hour  was  a  perfect  pleasure.  After  her 
return  to  France,  she,  of  course,  wrote  a  book,  entitled  Le  Far 
West.     And  in  that  book,  {page  335,)  she  said: 

"II  y  a  deux  grands  journaux  si  Salt  Lake  City:  Ic  New  Dcscrct  et  le  A'c-ii.> 
Telegraph.  Mr.  Stenhouse,  le  rcdacteur  en  chef  du  premier,  est  un  homme 
eminemment  instruit.  Allemand  d'origine,  il  parle  le  Francais  tres  purcment. 
Sa  femme,  nde  Fran(;aise,  est  una  femme  du  monde,  bonne,  charmante,  trcs- 
instruite,  bonne  musicienne,  et  mere  de  treize  beaux  enfants.     C'est  une  ex-Sosur 


de  Charity  et  la  seule  femme  Catholique  et  Fran9aise  qufe  soit  parmi  les  Mor- 

Some  of  my  readers  may  perhaps  have  forgotten  their 
French  lessons  :  I,  therefore,  translate  : 

There  are  two  principal  journals  in  Salt  Lake  City — the  New  Descret  and  the 
'  Neiv  Telegraph.  Mr.  Stenhouse  is  editor-in-chief  of  the  first.  He  is  a  well- 
taught  man  of  German  origin,  and  speaks  the  French  language  with  the  greatest 
purity.  His  wife,  a  French  lady,  is  a  woman  of  the  world — good  looking,  charm- 
ing, well  educated,  a  good  musician,  and  the  mother  of  thirteen  fine  children. 
She  is  an  ex-Sister  of  Charity,  and  the  only  French  Catholic  who  has  joined 
the   "Mormon  Church." 

Now  here  is  an  example  in  type.  Let  us  judge  of  its  truth- 
fulness. In  the  first  place  there  never  was  such  a  paper  as 
the  New  Descret  or  the  Nezv  Telegraph.  The  Deseret  Nezvs 
has  been  in  existence  for  some  years.  My  husband  assisted 
on  its  staff,  but  he  was  never  editor-in-chief.  The  Daily  Tel- 
egraph was  my  husband's  own  paper,  but  it  never  appeared 
under  any  other  name.  Little  items  may  seem  of  small  im- 
portance, but  in  a  case  where  truthfulness  is  called  in  question, 
they  are  worth  mentioning.  Mr.  Stenhouse  is  a  Scotchman 
by  birth,"and  I  am  an  Englishwoman.  His  acquaintance  with 
the  French  tongue  is,  of  course,  limited  ;  while  I,  for  my  part, 
never  was,  or  will  be,  either  a  Roman  Catholic  or  a  Sister  of 
Charity.  Ten,  and  not  thirteen  "fine"  children  are  all  who  call 
me  mother ;  and  at  the  time  when  Madame  Olympe  wrote  there 
were  only  eight.  Here  I  state  the  whole  case  briefly.  Let 
the  reader  judge  of  the  truthfulness  of  "travellers'  stories." 

That  comprehensive  and  truthful  works  on  this  subject 
have  appeared,  I  readily  admit,  but  most  of  them  are  mere 
sketches  : — such,  for  example,  as  that  by  Secretary  Ferris — a 
Gentile,  but  a  fair  and  impartial  author  ; — or  else  were  pub- 
lished— as  that,  for  instance,  by  John  Hyde,  a  good  man  and 
a  vigorous  writer — so  many  years  ago  that  they  are  now,  to  a 
great  extent,  out  of  date.  Mrs.  Waite  is  the  best  Gentile 
lady-writer;  but  for  obvious  reasons,  although  she  was  a 
woman  of  intelligence  and  penetration,  her  knowledge  of  the 
inner  life  of  Mormonism  was  necessarily  circumscribed. 

Two  books  appeared,  each  claiming  to  be  written  by  genu- 


ine  Mormon  women.  They  were,  however,  originally  pub- 
lished fifteen  or  twenty  years  ago  ;  and  although  they  are  still 
on  sale,  they  are,  as  a  matter  of  course,  silent  concerning 
recent  events.  The  first  of  these  two  volumes  was  really 
written  by  a  gentleman  who  was  himself  neither  a  Mormon 
nor  had  any  intimate  acquaintance  with  the  system  and  doc- 
trines of  that  people.  He  obtained  from  the  lady — the  sup- 
posed author — all  the  information  which  she  was  capable  cf 
imparting,  and  then  worked  it  up  in  a  startling  and  sensational 
manner,  mingling  facts  and  fiction  in  such  a  way  that  the 
Mormons  have  always  declared  that  the  whole  volume  was  a 
scandalous  libel. 

The  other  volume  was  first  published  nearly  twenty  years 
ago.  It  was  professedly  written  by  the  wife  of  a  Mormon  elder  ; 
but  it  was  really  the  production  of  an  old  lady  in  New  Jersey, 
who  had  never  even  been  out  to  Utah,  and  who  drew  entirely 
upon  her  own  imagination  for  all  that  she  could  not  adapt 
from  other  sensational  writers  on  Mormonism.  This  book 
was  first  published  by  a  New  York  firm,  and  being  supposed 
by  the  innocent  public  to  be  genuine,  it  had  an  extraordinary 
circulation — forty  or  fifty  thousand  being  sold.  The  publish- 
ers, however,  failed,  and  the  stereotype  plates  passed  into  other 
hands.  Subsequently  the  work  having  come  under  the  notice 
of  a  subscription  firm  at  Hartford,  they  negotiated  for  the  use 
of  the  plates.  One  word  of  the  heading  of  each  page  was 
cut  out,  a  new  title  was  selected,  some  old  illustrations  and  a 
few  new  ones  were  added,  and  an  ancient  steel-plate  por- 
trait, which  had  once  done  duty  in  some  book  of  poetry  or 
illustrated  volume  of  fashionable  beauties  of  years  ago,  was 
vamped  up,  and  the  supposed  signature  of  the  fictitious  author 
was  engraved  beneath  it.  This  book,  now  re-christened,  and 
apparently  a  new  volume,  was  launched  upon  the  market.  It 
is  at  the  present  moment  advertised  in  many  local  newspapers, 
and  the  confiding  public  cheerfully  buy  it  under  the  impres- 
sion that  it  is  the  genuine  production  of  a  Mormon  woman. 
Such  is  the  history  of  some  of  the  so-called  autobiographies 
which  have  appeared. 



I  mention  these  facts  to  show  that  ihe  demand  for  a  Ime 
history  by  a  real  Morvion  zvonian  has  never  yet  been  supplied. 
It  was  this  knowledge  which  induced  me  to  publish  my  former 
little  work,  and  encourages  me  to  hope  that  the  present  vol- 
ume may  meet  with  acceptance. 

A  few  months  after  the  publication  of  my  first  book,  I  was 
invited  to  lecture  upon  "  Polygamy  in  Utah,"  and  wherever  1" 
spoke  I  observed  the  same  spirit  of  enquiry  and  met  with  a 

renewed  demand  for  more  of  circumstance  and  narrative 

which  I  had,  from  a  sense  of  personal  delicacy,  withheld  in 
my  former  work. 

I  saw  no  way  of  satisfying  myself  and  others  than  by 
accepting  the  rather  spiteful  invitation  of  a  certain  Mormon 
paper  to  "  Tell  it  all,"  and  this,  in  a  narrative  of  my  own 
personal  experience,  which  I  now  present  to  the  reader,  I 
have  endeavored  to  do.  Myself  not  in  any  sense  a  literary 
woman,  or  making  any  pretensions  as  a  writer,  I  hope  to 
escape  severe  criticism  from  the  public  and  the  press.  I 
had  a  simple  story  to  tell  — the  story  of  my  life  and  of  the 
wrongs  of  women  in  Utah.  Startling  and  terrible  facts  have 
fallen  under  my  observation.  These  also  I  have  related  ;  but 
my  constant  effort  has  been  to  tell  my  story  in  the  plainest, 
simplest  way,  and  to  avoid  exaggeration,  but  never  shrink 
from  a  straightforward  statement  of  facts.  I  have  disguised 
nothing,  and  palliated  nothing ;  and  I  feel  assured  that  those 
who  from  their  actual  and  intimate  acquaintance  with  Mor- 
monism  in  Utah  as  it  really  is,  are  capable  of  passing  a  just 
and  impartial  judgment  upon  my  story,  will  pronounce  without 
hesitation  that  I  have  told  "  the  truth,  the  zvhole  .truth,  and 
nothing  but  the  truth!' 

Salt  Lake  City,  Utah. 




The  Memory  of  my  Youthful  Days — Early  Religious  Impressions — T  become 
a  Church-Member — My  Pious  Admirer — A  brief  Homily  on  Feminine 
Vanities — My  first  Start  in  Life — Faithful  Counsels  of  a  Friend — Life 
in  a  French  School — The  Maison-Martin — Preparing  my  Lessons — Ob- 
jecting to  a  Protestant — "Assisting"  at  Service — My  Ghostly  Adviser — 
The  "instructions"  of  a  Handsome  Young  Priest — Flirtation  and  Apos- 
tolic Succession — The  Blind  Leading  the  Blind — The  Scene  of  Labor 
Changed — Domestic  Life  at  St.  Brieux — An  indifferent  Young  Gentle- 
man— The  Presence  of  an  "  Icicle" — Quiet  Attentions  to  "  Mademoiselle- 
Miss" — The  Man  who  Waits  Wins — My  Affianced  Lover — Reasons  why 
a  French  Girl  Marries — Views  of  Marriage  among  the  French — Traces  of 
Early  Teachings — Mental  Struggles  and  Doubts — I  Resolve  to  Visit 
England — The  Crisis  of  My  Life. *        *    3' 



Returning  Home — "  Au  Revoir'^ — A  Visit  to  Jersey — The  Home  of  my 
Childhood — My  First  Introduction  to  Mormonism — An  "  Apostate's" 
View  of  the  Saints — Revelation  and  Roguery — A  Matter  of  Personal 
Interest — A.  Lady's  Logic — A  Warning  against  the  New  Religion — First 
Visit  to  a  Mormon  Meeting — Catching  the  "  Mormon  Fever" — Snubbing 
an  Elder— A  Polite  Saint — Fighting  a  Delusion — Among  Dear  Friends — 
"  Full  of  the  Spirit" — Religion  in  Practical  Life — Preparing  Comforts 
for  the  Missionary  Elders — Emotional  Religion — The  Testimony  of  the 
Spirit— Sunday  Service  among  the  Saints— Contagious  Enthusiasm— The 
Story  of  a  too-confiding  Convert— How  He  Went  out  to  Zion— Terrible 
Fate  of  an  Apostate— Killed  by  "  the  Indians" — Preaching  under  Diffi- 
culties— My  First  Introduction  to  my  Future  Husband — "The  Other 
Daughter  from  France"— The  Eloquence  of  Elder  Stenhouse — Creating 
an  Impression — A  Memorable  Era  in  My  Life. 39 





A  Confirmation  Meeting — The  Age  for  Baptism — How  Sister  Martha  was 
Confirmed — How  Mormon  Saints  are  "Blessed" — The  Spirit  of  Projihecy 
— A  Lecture  by  Elder  Stenhouse — The  New  Gospel  Explained — A  Vision 
of  Latter-Day  Glory — How  I  was  Convinced — The  Finger  of  Destiny 
Draws  Me  On — A  Mormon  Baptism — I  Become  a  Member  of  the  Church 
— I  am  Baptised,  Confirmed,  and  Blessed — I  begin  a  New  Life — A 
Happy  Dream  of  Missionary  Usefulness — I  begin  Work  with  Enthusiasm 
— Methodism  and  Mormonism  Compared — How  Converts  are  Made — Re- 
ligious Revivals — The  Anxious  Seats — A  Testimony  Meeting — How  Brig- 
ham  Young  has  Damped  the  Ardor  of  the  Saints — Magical  Effects  of  an 
Elder's  Speech — The  Mormon  Marsellaise — Effects  of  Song  upon  Reli- 
gious Feeling. 50 



Beginning  Life  as  a  Mormon — Breaking  Way  from  the  Past — My  Friends  in 
France — Placed  in  a  Difficult  Position — I  Remember  my  Betrothed — Ex- 
clusivcness  of  my  New  Faith — An  "Apostle"  Lays  Down  the  Law — How 
to  Keep  aloof  from  the  Gentiles — Woman's  Duty — "  The  Foundation  of 
a  Little  Family  Kingdom" — The  "  Gift  of  Tongues"  in  Modern  Days — 
An  Extraordinary  Meeting — Sister  Ellis  exercises  her  "  Gift" — Need  of  an 
Interpreter — Emotional  Religion — How  Brother  Brigham  once  "  Spake  in 
Tongues" — A  "  High  Time"  at  Kirtland  in  the  days  of  Joseph— A  Scene 
in  the  Lion  House — One  of  the  Prophet's  Wives  "Speaks" — Another 
Wife  Interprets— I  Receive  a  Blessing — Brother  Young  Discountenances 
ihe  "Gift" — Only  half  Convinced— "  To  Doubt  is  Sin" — I  Arrive  at  an 
Important  Conclusion — I  instruct  Elder  Stenhouse  in  the  French  language 
— An  Interesting  Pupil— Declining  the  verb  7'^""''— Studies  in  the  15ack 
Parlor— A  Persevering  Young  Man— Why  I  listened  to  Elder  Stenhouse's 
Suit — I  am  Engaged  to  Him — I  become  a  Missionary's  Wife — I  Write  to 
my  Friends  in  France — A  Free  Confession — Pleasant  Memories  of  the 
Past. 0, 



How  a  "Miracle"  was  Performed— The  Evidence  ot  One's  Senses— Suc- 
cessful use  of  Scripture  Arguments— Mormon  versus  Local  Preacher — 
A  lively  Discussion — A  little  "  Personal"  Matter— A  Man  who  Never  Saw 
a  Miracle— Success  Dependent  upon  Faith — "I  Hardly  know  what  to 
Think  of  It"— A  New  Convert— How  Sister  Armstrong  was  Healed— A 
Genuine  Case— Five  Years  of   Helplessness— Testing  the  Claims  :— A 


fair  Proposal— The  Faithful  Accept  the  Offer — The  Magnetic  Principle— 
A  good  Dose  of  Oil — How  the  Anointing  was  Performed  :— Aaron  Out- 
done— Making  the  Passes — An  Exhausting  Labor—"  Give  me  your  Hand, 
Brother" — "  Have  faith,  Sister  Armstrong  !" — "  We  Thought  that  She 
was  Dead" — My  first  Introduction  to  Mary  Burton — A  Wilful  Lassie — 
We  become  Fast  Friends — Seeing  is  Sometimes  Believing — Polder  Sten- 
house  Works  a  Miracle: — Cures  a  man  of  the  Cholera— How  a  "regular 
battle"  was  Fought — A  Wife's  unprofitable  Faith — How  the  Miraculous 
Power  was  All  Used  Up — How  my  Husband  made  himself  Useful  again.     74 



Meeting  a  Living  "Apostle" — The  London  Conference — What  I  Expected  — 
Four  Apostles  at  One  Time — The  Charms  of  a  Priestly  Life — Leading 
About  a  "Sister" — The  "  Mystery  of  Godliness" — Imitating  Solomon — 
The  Formation  of  a  "  Branch"— Doing  the  Work  of  the  Lord — The 
Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow — An  Argument  by  the  Way — Silent  Snow — The 
Apostle  Snow  Thaws  at  the  Right  Time — How  a  Convenient  Revelation 
was  Thrice  Received — Unwilling  Consent — A  Cruel  Wrong — He  Would 
be  Five  Years  Away — The  Conference  Organised — A  Mission  to  Italy — 
A  Pleasant  Position  for  a  Wife — The  Vicissitudes  of  a  Year — God's  Mercy 
a  Safe  Trust — A  Valedictory  Picnic — Not  P"ar  from  Netley  Abbey — Bid- 
ding Good-bye  to  the  Missionaries — My  Ideas  of  My  Husband's  Work — 
Mary  Suggests  a  New  Idea — What  She  Said — "  I'm  Not  a  Little  Girl" — 
"I  Kissed  Her,  and  Continued"  — All,  all  False — Elder  Stenhouse  Departs 
for  Italy — Italy  is  the  End  of  Our  Miserable  Hopes — How  the  Missiona- 
ries Departed — I  Bid  Adieu  to  My  Husband. 90 

C  H  AFTER    VII. 

MY  husband's   mission  :  — I   AM    LEFT   ALONE. 

The  Italian  Mission — A  Saint's  Responsibility — Obliging  a  Friend — The 
Pains  and  Penalties  of  a  Saintly  Life— My  Letters  to  my  Husband— The 
Whisperings  of  the  Coming  Storm— Polygamy  Denied— The  Wretched 
Subterfuges  of  certain  Elders — The  Lying  Basis  of  Polygamy — What 
Apostle  Taylor  said— My  Personal  Experience — How  Polygamy  was  Intro- 
duced among  the  Saints — I  want  to  find  My  own  Groove — Suffering  for 
Conscience  Sake— Lonely  Contemplation  of  a  Weary  Soul— The  Ameri- 
can Apostles—"  Without  Purse  or  Scrip"— The  Swiss  Mission— My  own 
Enthusiasm— My  Darling  Clara— Lighting  the  "load"  of  Love— Mary 
Burton's  Love  Affairs— The  Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow— Missionary  Work— 
I  Bear  my  own  Troubles  Alone— The  Difficulties  of  Missionary  Work  — 
A  Shoemaker  who  respected  his  Soul— Work  Indefatigable— Le  Gover- 
neur  do  L'  Hopital— Our  New  Convert— Days  of  Poverty— Practical 
Faith— How  we  Endured— The  Darkness  which  Precedes  the  Dawn— The 
Suffering  of  all  who  Work  to  Win.   -..•....  loi 

CONTENTS.  xvii 


An  Apostle  Comes  to  Help  Me— How  the  Wives  of  Missionaries  we're  Sup- 
ported-! Meet  with  Friends— My  Attempts  at  Proselytizing— Madame 
lialiff  Rejects  the  Revelation- Primitive  Meetings  of  the  Saints— Certain 
Bashful  Men— A  Lady  Weak  in  the  Faith— How  My  Faith  was  Tried  — 
"  If  You  Could  Get  that  Child  Healed"— Wanted:  The  Gift  of  Healing— 
WMiat  Governor  Stoudeman  Did-The  Fate  of  a  Little  Child— Madame 
Baliff  Makes  a  Suggestion— An  Effort  of  Faith— My  Doubts  and  Fears— 
An  Anxious  Night— Mary  Burton's  Letter— Elder  Shrewsbury  Manifests 
Himself— A  Girl's  Opinion  of  Her  Lover— Fears  of  Polygamy— Certain 
Imprudent  Elders— The  American  Brethren— Learning  a  Business— Jeal- 
ous of  Her  Husband— "My  Elder"-An  Unsettled  Mind— Obtaining 
Information— Nothing  Determined. 



Waiting  for  the  Revelation— The  Millennial  J/ar— The  Revelation  on  the 
Order  of  "  Celestial  Marriage"—"  My  Servant  Joseph"— The  Keys  of  the 
Kingdom— Marrying  for  Eternity— The  Unpardonable  Sin— Being  "As 
the  Angels"— Sealed  by  the  Holy  Spirit— Shedding  Innocent  Blood— The 
Example  of  Abraham— The  Power  of  the  Priesthood—"  Mine  Handmaid, 
Emma  Smith"— If  He  have  Ten  Virgins  Given  Unto  Him"— Let  this 
Suffice  for  the  Present—An  Astonishing  Message  from  Heaven— Learning 
to  Bear  the  Cross— Without  Hope— Longing  to  Confide  in  Some  One— 
My  Indignant  Reception  of  the  "  Re%'elation"— "  I  Dared  Not  even  Kneel 
to  God"— "  There  Was  a  Knock  at  My  Chamber  Door"— Not  a  Very 
Entertaining  Party— "  The  Old  Gentleman  Stood  the  Test"— Monsieur 
Petitpierre  "  Thinks  Prayerfully  Over  the  ilatter."         -        -        -        -     134 


Preaching  Polygamy— A  Phase  of  Missionary  Life— An  Embarrassing  Posi- 
tion—Bearing the  Cross— One  Ever-Present  Thought— The  Haunting 
Spectre  of  My  Life— My  Little  Daughter  Clara— The  Work  of  Repen- 
tance—Why Men  are  Sent  on  Mission— Working  in  the  Dark—Days  and 
Nights  of  Prayer  and  Fasting— Preparing  for  Work— Breaking  the  News— 
My  First  Convert— The  Victim  Chosen- The  "  Beauties"  of  "  Celestial" 
Matrimony"— Introducing  a  Pleasant  Subject—"  Came  Down  Stairs  Sing- 
ing"- A  Cruel  Task—"  Docs  My  Serge  Believe  This  ?"— "  I  Tried  to 
Comfort  Her"- Not  Wisely,  but  Too  Well- How  the  Swiss  Women  Re- 
ceived the  Revelation- A  Companion  in  Misery— A  Letter  from  Mary 
Burton— Polygamy  in  England— Elder  Shrewsbury  in  Difficulties- Love 
and  Religion- How  Polygamy  Was  Denied— Looking  Most  Miserable— 

"He  Kissed  My  Hand  Sorrowfully." I42 





A  Blissful  State  ol  Ignorance — The  Opinions  of  Monsieur  Petitpierre — Strong 
Arguments— How  He  Became  an  Apostate — "  He  Shall  Rule  over  Her" — 
The  Nobler  Sex — How  Women  were  Sufficiently  Honored— Looking 
Anxiously  for  a  Change — Establishing  a  Mormon  Paper— Denouncing  the 
Gentiles — Terrible  Expectations — Hastening  to  Zion — A  Journey  of  Many 
Days — The  Swiss  Pilgrhns — Death  by  the  Way — Disobeying  Counsel — 
The  "Judgments"  of  the  Lord — The  Love  of  Many  Waxes  Cold — The 
Pi^esident  of  the  London  Conference — Distinguished  Apostates — Strange 
Mews  from  Zion — An  "Object  of  Literest" — Great  Success  of  Mormon- 
ism  in  Britain — How  Saints  were  Re-baptized — Poor  Elder  Marsden! — 
The  Emigration  Season — My  Little  Daughter  Minnie — Saintly  Treatment 
— A  Visit  from  Mary  Burton — How  Love  Affairs  Progressed — Pacifying 
a  Lover — The  M^eaningot  the  Word  "  Patience." 154 



Mary  Burton  Tells  her  Story — A  Persevenng  Lover — A  Long  Conversation 
— Some  "Strong  Points"  of  the  Revelation — A  Trifling  Circumstance — 
Terrible  Doings  in  Zion — How  Orson  Hyde  became  an  Apostate — He 
Bears  Witness  Agamst  Joseph  Smith — "Danites"  and  "Avenging  An- 
gels"—  Murders  Committed  by  "Indians!" — Emigration  in  the  Old 
Times — A  Journey  of  Nine  Months — How  the  Mormon  Emigration  was 
Managed — A  Favored  Apostle — How  the  Profits  were  Pocketed — On 
Board  Ship — We  Suffer  Loss — How  we  were  Deceived — An  Untruthful 
Apostle — How  Poor  Mr.  Temiant  was  Robbed — Brigham  Young  Acts 
his  Accustomed  Part — Love  and  Marriage  at  Sea — Cooking  Under  Diffi- 
culties— "  Harry  and  the  Rats" — A  Smart  Lad — An  Ancient  Scotch  Sis- 
ter— Working  "for  a  Consideration" — Christmas  on  Board  Ship — Cruel 
Treatment  of  Seamen — A  New  Year  in  the  New  World.  ...     167 



An  Introduction  to  a  New  World — The  New  York  Saints — How  Certain 
Elders  Disappeared — An  Uncomfortable  Week — Left  all  Alone — Love 
Waxing  Cold — Mental  Slavery — The  School-House  at  Williamsburgh — 
Miserable  Condition  of  the  Emigrants — Suffering  for  Their  Eaith — The 
Apostle  Taylor  Lectures  the  Saints — Some  Smart  "Counsel" — Buying 
Shovels — An  Unprofitable  Speculation — The  "Mean  Yankee  Gentiles" — 
Days  and  Nights  of  Trial — How  the  '■'■Mormon''''  was  Edited — A  Rather 
Small  Salary — The  Doings  of  High-Priests  and  "Seventies" — An  Amiable 
Connecticut  Girl — Half-a-Dozen  Wives — Permission  from  Brigham  Young 
— Certain  Elders  who  had  "Disease  of  the  Heart" — The  Course  of  True 
Love — A  Young  Widow  Who  Looked  Well  in  Weeds — Arranging  the 
Affairs  of  the  Heart — The  True  Source  of  Modern  Revelations.        -        -  179 




The  Eastern  Saints— Service  in  Williamsburgh— The  "Prophet  of  the  Lord" 
Tries  an  Experiment— The  Pilgrims  Cross  the  Plains— The  Hand-Cart 
Scheme— 'I'he  Poor  Enr.igrants— A  "Divine"  Plan— The  Great  Gathering 
to  Zion— An  Interesting  Letter  from  Mary  Burton— How  Elder  Shrews- 
bury Won  his  Bride— A  Solemn  Oath  Agamst  Polygamy— Mary  Burton's 
Marriage-Arrival  of  the  Hand-Cart  Emigrants-Scene  at  Castle  Garden 
—Meeting  with  Mary  Burton  and  her  Husband— The  Story  of  her  Court- 
ship—Her Trustful  Enthusiasm— Proposing  to  make  Brigham  Young  a 
Aw^o—Anticipations  ot  War— How  the  Prophet  Defrauded  Brother  Ten- 
nant  of  Sixty  Thousand  Dollars— The  Pilgrims  Leave  for  the  West— The 
Story  of  a  Truant  Wife— Second  Thoughts  are  Sometimes  Best— The 
Mormon  Paper  Comes  to  Grief— A  New  Trial  of  Faith— Literary  Work- 
Waiting  for  Permission  to  Journey  Zionward.    JQJ 



The  Hand-Cart  Emigration— Mary  Burton's  Story— Crossing  the  Plains— 
The  Camp  at  Iowa  City— Shameful  Neglect  of  the  Church  Authorities- 
Making  the  Hand-Carts— The  Outfit  of  the  Emigrants— On  the  Way— 
"A  Day's  March  Nearer  Home"— Stout-hearted  Pilgrims— Traveling 
through  Iowa— Showing  Kindness  to  the  Emigrants— Need  of  Help  and 
Sympathy— Perils  and  Privations  of  the  Journey— How  they  Suffered 
Hunger,  and  Fainted  by  the  Way— Very  Scanty  Rations— Distress  of  the 
Women  and  Children:  the  Weak  and  the  Sickly— How  the  Church  "took 
Care"  of  the  Emigrants'  Money— Suffering  from  the  Heat— Arriving  at 
Florence,  near  Omaha— How  a  Mass-meeting  was  Held— Taking  Counsel 
—A  Rash  and  Foolish  Decision— Offering  to  Swallow  a  Snow-Storm— 
Brave  Advice  of  Elder  Levi  Savage—"  Weak  in  the  Faith"— How  they 
Continued  their  fatal  Pilgrimage— The  Camp  at  Eventide— False  and 
Dangerous  Security— The  Carts  Break  Down— The  Cattle  Stampede- 
On  Short  Allowance— Visitors  of  Importance  Arrive— Delusive  Prophecy 
of  the  Apostles— How  they  took  the  Bread  of  the  Starving— Selfish  Con- 
duct of  Saintly  Leaders— Promises  of  Help. 206 



The  Pilgrims  Arrive  at  Laramie— Disappointed  Hopes— A  Message  from 
the  Apostle  Richards— Help  Again  Promised— Fearful  Sufferings  and 
Privations  of  the  Emigrants— The  Frosts  of  Winter  Come  On— The 
Storm-Clouds  are  Gathering— Presentiments  of  Death— The  Night-Air  of 
the  Wilderness— The  Bitter  End— A  Wife's  Unchanging  Devotion- 
Death  in  the  Camp— Falling  by  the  Way— A  Shocking  Incident— Faithful 
Even  in  Death— The  Good  Deeds  of  Elder  Chislett— How  Faith  Sustained 


Them — Lo^t  in  the  Snow-Storm — Brigham  Young's  Tardy  Repentance — 
"Joseph  A."  Comes  to  the  Rescue — In  the  Grasp  of  Death — Fearful 
Position  of  a  Brave  Woman — The  Evil  Day  Comes  at  Last — A  Night  of 
Horrors — Waiting  for  Assistance — The  Finger  of  Death — The  Cry  of  the 
Wolves — A  Scene  too  Terrible  for  Description — Who  Died  That  Night 
— "God  was  Near  Me  Then  " — A  Change  for  the  Better — Three  Anxious 
Days — Light  at  Eventide — "  Help  Came  Too  Late  for  Them" — The 
Victims  of  Fanaticism — The  Remnant  that  Arrived — The  Conclusion  of 
a  Terrible  Story. 221 


WE    FORSAKE     ALL,    AND   SET     OUT     FOR    ZION — OUR     JOURNEY     ACROSS     THE 


Considering  Our  Position — Doubts  and  Fears— A  Visit  from  the  Apostle  Geo. 
Q.  Cannon — We  are  "  Counselled"  to  Emigrate — Giving  up  All  for  the 
Church — Taking  Charge  of  the  Emigrants — The  Insignificance  of  Women 
— Wives  are  Never  to  Follow  their  own  Judgment—"  Be  Obedient" — We 
Begin  our  Pilgrimage — The  Perpetual  Emigration  Fund — How  Mormon 
Emigration  is  Managed — Settling  the  Debts  of  a  Lady-Love — How  Cer- 
tain Imprudent  Englishmen  Have  Suffered — The  "  Emigration"  of  Miss 
Blank — An  Ancient  "  Sister"  who  was  Forced  to  Wait — Living  Contra- 
dictions— First  Glimpse  of  Salt  Lake  City — A  Glorious  Panorama — The 
Spectre  of  my  Existence — The  Prison-Walls  of  the  Mountains — Without 
Hope — Life  in  the  Wagons — Search  for  a  House — "  Roughing  It"  in 
Zion — First  Impressions — A  Cheerless  Prospect  for  Winter — Daniel  H. 
Wells  Promises  Assistance — A  Woful  Spectacle  of  Tallow  Candles — 
Odorous  Illumination — '■'■  U Eglise c'' est vioi'" — "An  Ugly  Man  with  a  Cast 
in  his  Eve" — An  Awkward  Mistake— Beginning  Life  in  Zion.  -         -         -  237 



Some  Personal  Observations — An  Innocent  Prophet — Living  Witnesses  of 
the  Truth— How  Salt  Lake  City  was  Laid  Out  and  Built— The  Houses  of 
Many-Wived  Men— My  First  Sunday  in  the  Tabernacle — Curious  Millin- 
ery of  Lady  Saints— Two  Remarkable  Young  Ladies— A  Doubtful  Exper- 
iment— How  Service  is  Conducted  in  the  Tabernacle — Extraordinary 
Sermons— Deceitful  Dealings  of  the  Original  Prophet — Why  Joseph, 
the  "Seer,"  Married  Miss  Snow— Another  of  the  Prophet's  Wives— A 
Shameful  Story— Aunty  Shearer,  and  her  Funny  Ways — Spiritual  Wives 
and  Proxy  Wives — How  the  Saints  are  Married  for  Time  and  for  Eternity 
— Concerning  Certain  Generous  Elders — How  Wives  are  Secretly 
"  Sealed"— Extraordinary  Request  of  One  of  Brigham's  Wives—"  The 
Next  Best  Thing"— Mormon  Ideas  of  the  Marriage  at  Cana— The  "  Fix- 
ins"  of  a  Mormon  Husband— How  "The  Kingdom"  is  Built  Up— Women 
Only  to  be  Saved  by  Their  Husbands— A  Painful  Story— A  Very  Cau- 


tious  Woman— A  Woman  who  wanted  to  be  "Queen"— A  Deceitful 
Lover— A  Strange  Home-Picture— "These  Constitute  my  Kingdom"— 
Forebodings.     •        -        -        - ^46 



Inside  the  Lion  House— The  Family-Circle  of  the  Prophet— A  Gracious  Re- 
ception—A Woman's  Description  of  Brigham  Young— His  Early  Life 
and  Strusrgles- Working  for  "  Six  Bits"  a  Day— How  he  "Ate  Up  all  the 
Corn"— How  he  Worked  as  a  Painter  and  Glazier— Born  at  the  Right 
Time— Brigham  Young's  Character  Summed  Up — How  he  Obtained  his 
Position— The  Twelve  Apostles  of  Mormonism — Intrigues  for  Place  and 
Power— Pulling  the  Nose  of  a  Queen— Delivered  Over  to  "  The  Buffctings 
of  Satan"— Poor  Sidney!— The  "  First  Presidency"— Yearly  Elections— A 
Foe  to  Education— What  Boys  and  Girls  Should  Learn— An  Unfortu- 
nate Musical  Society— Moral  Delinquencies  of  the  Prophet— Borrowing 
Clothes  for  a  Conference— How  a  Million  Dollars  were  Borrowed  and 
/Vz/V//- Brigham's  Avarice,  Cowardice,  and  Thefts— A  Terrible  Despotism 
— Lost  Opportunities. -^3 



The  Prophet  at  Home— His  Own  Little  Family— Domestic  Life  of  a  Patri- 
arch—Wife the  First— Two  Sisters  Married  to  the  Same  Man— Brigham's 
Son  at  West  Point— She  "  Had  her  Day"-.-A  Troublesome  Wife— The 
Privileges  of  Mormon  Women — Shocking  Case  of  Infatuation — Emmeline 
The  Forsaken  Favorite— The  Fickle  Fancies  of  the  Prophet :— Amelia. • 
"  the  Queen  of  the  Harem"— The  Follies  of  a  Modern  Prophet— The 
Charms  of  Julia  Dean— The  Spirit  of  the  Prophet  Subdued  by  Amelia's 
Will— Eliza  Ann  Tells  her  Own  Story— How  Brother  Brigham  Won  his 
Last  Wife— Fictions  and  Frauds— Brigham  Names  the  Marriage  Day- 
He  Came  "Just  as  it  Happened"— Getting  Groceries  in  a  Small  Way— 
"Two  Bits'  worth  of  Fresh  Meat"— The  Conclusion  of  Eliza-Ann's  Story 
—A  Patriarchal  Family— The  Father  of  Fifty  Children— A  Questionable 
Story— "Whose  Child  is  He"— Inside  the  Prophet's  Mansion— Pocket- 
Money  and  Divorce— Domestic  Life  of  the  Prophet— Entertaining  a  Vis- 
itor—How a  Large  Family  is  Managed— The  Patriarch  at  Home.     •         -  275 




Some  Peculiar  Mormon  Doctrines- The  Faith  of  the  Saints— Extraordinary 
Ideas  of  Sacred  Subjects— Polytheism  Taught— Preexistence  of  the  Soul- 
Assisting  the  Spirits  to  Emigrate—"  The  Body  that  Shall  Be"— The  Ori- 


gin  of  the  Devil — Brigham's  Adam  Deity — "Kolob": — the  Sun  of  Sun3 — 
Father  Adam  Descends  to  Eden — The  Grades  of  the  Priesthood — Place 
and  Position  in  the  Church — Obedience  the  Cardinal  Virtue — Patriarchal 
Blessings — How  an  Ancient  Dame  Sold  her  Petticoats  to  Buy  a  Blessing 
— The  Thin  End  of  the  Wedge — Terrible  Doings  in  Missouri — Mormon 
Politics — The  Avenging  Angels — Origin  of  the  "Danites" — Whisperings  of 
Dark  Deeds — The  Bearded  "  Daughters"  of  Zion — Brigham's  Threat — 
The  "Death  Society" — The  Prophet  Smith  Murdered— "Milking  the 
Gentiles" — "  Whittling  an  Apostate" — Treasonable  Speeches  and  Prac- 
tices— Brigham  as  Governor  of  Utah — Great  Excitement  in  Salt  Lake 
City — A  Crisis. 295 


THE     "reign    of    terror"    IN    UTAH: — THE    REFORMATION    OF    THE   SAINTS. 

Days  of  Trouble  in  the  Valley — Shedding  Innocent  Blood — What  is  Murder  ? 
About  Killing  a  Cat — Better  than  Their  Faith — Cutting  Throats  for  Love 
— The  Deeds  of  the  Apostle  "Jeddy" — The  Celebrated  Mule — The  Saints 
Accused — Missionaries  Called  Home — Their  Consciences  Accuse  Them! 
— The  Blood-Atonement — What  was  Said  in  the  Tabernacle — Terrible 
Doctrines  Taught — Brigham  a  "God!" — Fearful  Blasphemy  of  Brisjham 
Young — The  Shedding  of  Blood — "  Righteously"  Murdered — The  Princi- 
ples of  Eternity — Deeds  of  Darkness — A  "Saint"  Murders  his  Wife — A 
Terrible  Story — How  Children  Were  Married — A  Petticoat  on  a  Fence- 
Pole — A  Scarcity  of  Unmarried  Girls — Obeying  "  Counsel" — Propositions 
of  Marriage — A  Trifling  Mistake — Stubborn  Facts  and  Figures — The 
Most  Fearful  Deed  of  All. 31© 



The  Train  from  Arkansas— The  Story  of  a  Friend — How  an  Apostle  Merited 
Death — Mormon  Hospitality  ? — How  Justice  Slumbered — That  Sinner, 
McLean — Weary  and  Footsore — What  the  Governor  of  the  Territory  Did 
not  Do — The  Story  of  a  Frightful  Sin — A  Weary  Journey — "  Without  a 
Morsel  of  Bread" — Christian-like  Indians — Empty  Wagons — Military 
Murderers — Corn,  but  no  Mercy — A  Regular  Military  Call — Pursuing  the 
Pilgrims— The  Muster-Call— The  Little  Children  not  to  be  Killed— The 
Infamous  John  D.  Lee — The  Flag  of  Truce — "  The  State  of  Deseret" — A 
Deed  of  Fearful  Treachery — Surrounded  by  "Indians!" — The  Emigrants 
Besieged — Dying  for  Want  of  Water — Without  Bread — The  Mountafn 
Meadows — Atrocious  Mormon  Villainy — The  White  Flag — The  "Indi- 
ans" Again — The  Mormon  Story  of  the  Massacre — Treachery — The 
»'  White"  Indians — Mormon  Perfidy — How  the  Emigrants  Were  Betrayed 
— Marching  to  Death — A  Few  Children  Saved — The  Spoil — The  Murder 
of  Many  Men — The  End  of  a  Terrible  Story.    ..•-••  324 

CONTENTS.  xxiii 



Life  in  Zion— Introduced  to  Brother  Ileber — "  Have  you  got  the  Blues  !" — 
A  Wife's  Trials  :  Counselled  to  Take  Another  Wife — The  Tabernacle 
Sermons — The  Crowning  Glory  of  a  Man — Spiritual  Food — "  Filled  with 
the  Devil" — Face  to  Face  with  Polygamy — Winter  in  Salt  Take  City — A 
New  Position — I  Produce  my  Treasures — My  "  Talkative  Friend" — Com- 
forting Visitors — "I  ])on't  Like  Crying  Women" — Afraid  of  Opposition 
— Paid  in  Salt  Chips  and  Whetstones— Creating  a  Business — "  Something 
Like  Home" — A  Bonnet  for  Brigham's  Favorite  Wife — Running  up  a 
Little  Bill — How  the  Honest  Prophet  Paid  It — Has  He  any  Conscience  ? — 
My  whole  Fortune  Gone. 340 

C  H  A  PTER    XXV. 



Saintly  Privileges — The  Origin  of  the  Endowments — The  Fraternity  of  the 
.Saints — Story  of  the  Mysteries — Shocking  Doings  m  Days  Gone  By — 
Whisperings  of  Terrible  Deeds — How  the  Mormons  Mind  Their  Own 
Business — The  Temple  Garments — Inside  the  Endowment  House — The 
Book  of  Life — Our  Robes  and  Our  Oil  Bottles— The  Washings  and 
Anointings — The  High  Priestess — Invoking  Blessings — The  Mysterious 
Garment — A  New  Name — The  Garden  of  Eden — An  Extraordinary  Rep- 
resentation— The  Duplicate  of  the  Devil — The  First  Degree — Terrible 
and  Revengeful  Oaths — The  Punishment  of  the  Apostate — Pains  and  Pen- 
alties of  Betrayal — Grips  and  Passwords — The  Mysterious  Mark— Singular 
Apostolic  Sermon — The  Second  Degree — Secret  and  Significant  Signs — 
Behind  the  Veil — The  Third  Degree — Celestial  Matrimony — Eight  Hours 
of  "  Mystery" — I  Justify  Myself. •jej 



I  Receive  Congratulations — A  "  Bit  of  Advice" — How  a  Woman  found 
Wives  for  Her  Husband — A  "  Rather  Backward  Man" — How  a  Mormon 
Husband  was  Managed — Anxious  for  Alice  to  Marry — A  Very  Obedient 
Husband — Marrying  for  Principle  :  Not  Love — How  Saints  are  Silly  over 
New  Wives — Taking  Life  Easily—"  Miss  Alice  !  We  shall  See"— Bring- 
ing Home  a  "  Sister"— Wife,  Number  Three— How  a  Wife  Lost  Her 
Influence— How  a  Wife  Consoled  Herself  Under  Difificulties-Understand- 
ing  the  "  Order  of  the  Kingdom" — The  Necessity  of  Having  Two  Wives 
at  Least — Not  Needful  to  Fall  in  Love — A  Good  Example.       ...  yjo 





Seeking  for  Old  Friends— In  the  Ball-Room— Social  Life— How  Brother 
Brighani  Built  a  Theatre— Short-Sightedness  of  the  Prophet— Poets  and 
Polygamy  Disagree— What  a  Woman  would  Think— The  Ideal  of  True 
Love— Unpleasant  Comparisons— Bearing  the  Cross— Rather  Old  Boys- 
Subduing  a  Wife  and  Getting  a  Wife— What  the  Wives  Say  in  Secret- 
Introduced  to  an  Apostle's  Five  Wives — "  I'm  Afraid  You  are  Not  Too 
Strong  in  the  Faith" — The  "  Model  Saint" — Improved  Prospects — An  Old 
Friend  Discovered — Another  Victim  to  Polygamy — A  Divorce  for  Ten 
Dollars  ! — Pin-Money  for  Brother  Brigham's  Wives — Four  Husbands  of  a 
Girl  of  Twenty-One  !— How  will  the  Knot  be  Untied  ?      .         -         .        .  378 



A  Surprise — Meeting  an  Old  Friend — The  Traces  of  Grief — Mary  in  Trouble 
— Sympathy — "  There  is  No  Help  !" — Painful  Memories — The  Remem- 
brance of  a  Dead  Love — "  He  Used  to  Almost  Worship  You  " — "  It 
Changed  Him  Altogether" — "  How  can  we  Help  Ourselves  ?" — Living  up 
to  his  Privileges — The  Time  for  Beginning  Polygamy — That  Promise  ! — 
A  Wife's  Prayers  Refused — The  System  a  Fearful  Curse — Dangerous  to 
Talk  !— "  Is  the  Child  Dead  ?"— His  whole  Nature  Altered— Mary's  Little 
Girl  -Frantic  with  Sorrow — "Not  Much  tomake  Them  Happy" — A  Mis- 
erable Resource — A  Sad  Story  of  Wifely  Sorrow — How  Elder  Shrewsbury 
Kept  his  Promise  to  his  Wife — "  She  shall  Believe" — Marrying  two  Sis- 
ters on  the  Same  Day — Memories  of  Other  Days.     .....  ^93 


HOW     MARRIAGES     ARE     MADE     IN     UTAH — A     NEW     WIFE     FOUND     FOR     MY 


My  Old  Friend  Madame  Bal iff— Painful  Reverses  of  Fortune — Shameful 
"Counsel"  during  the  "  Reformation"— A  Choice  of  Two  Evils— Remi- 
niscences of  a  Happier  Life — A  Message  from  Brigham  Young— A  Seri- 
ous Trust— An  Interesting  Case— Suffering  for  the  Faith— My  Talkative 
Friend  Again— I  Receive  Strange  Congratulations— An  Inquisitive  Lady 
— A  Lady  who  Could  "Build-Up"  a  Rebellious  Wife— The  Apostle 
Heber  C.  Kimball  Pays  Me  a  Special  Visit—"  Plenty  of  Wives  around 
the  Town"— A  Morning  Drive  with  the  "  Model  Saint"— A  Lesson  on 
Children's  Dresses — Good  "  Counsel"  thrown  Away — Heber  Suggests  a 
Wife  for  my  Husband — How  Love  is  Developed  in  Mormon  Wives — 
"The  Finest  Thing  in  the  World"— The  Shadow  of  Coming  Evil.  -        .  405 




A  Mysterious  Errand-Going  a  Courting-Silence  and  Obedience,  a  Wife's 
Duty-Kept  in  the  Dark-Mistaken  Kindness-The  Conflict  between 
Faith  and  Reason-A  "  Rebellious  Woman"-My  Poor  Friend  Carrie- 
Women  Advocating  Polygamy-Finding  a  Wife  for  My  Husband-The 
Poor  Victim-An  Unusually  Loving  Husband-A  Consultation  with 
Brother  Brigham-The  Curse  of  a  whole  Life-The  F^at  of  the  Prophet 
-ThePenaUiesof  Disobedience-"  I  Can  Only  Consent"-A  Message 
from  Eliza  R.  Snow-The  Bad  Logic  of  the  Poetess-An  Unwilhng  Sac- 
rifice—An Unalterable  Decision.        -        -        - 4 


A  List  Of  Eligible  Young  Ladies-Making  a  Selection-Asking  the  First 
WiL's  Co.:sent-My   Husband's  Bride  Elect-Watching   a   Husband  s 
Wooing-"  Her  Little  Day  of  Triumph"-Another  Victim  to  ih^  Heaz^nly 
.Order"-The   Important   Claims   of   Love-Reminiscences  of  a  First 
Love-Submissive  to  the  Faith-A  Man  Cannot  Love  Two  at  One  Time 
-A  Very  Youthful  Bride-A  "Very  Painful  Task"-A  Long  Courtship 
-Bearing  the  Cross-A  Visit  from  my  Husband's  Bride-Elect-Belinda- 
Carrie  Grant's  Illness-Divulging  a  Secret-"  Love  me  One  Day  Longer 
-The  Approach  of  Death-A  Strange  Promise  for  a  Wife  to  Give-I 
Choose  a  Wife  for  my  Husband-Carrie's  Last  Hours-"  It  is  Better  So 
-A  Sacred  Pledge-My  Last  Visit  to  Carrie-A  Sad  Farewell.       -        -  433 



Memories  Of  My  Poor  Friend  Carrie-The  Last  Untroubled  Sleep-Her 
Hopes  and  Mine-Alone  in  the  Night-A  Mysterious  '  Presence  -  I 
Plahly  Saw  Carrie  Leaning  Over  Me"-The  Wedding-Rmg-"  The 
rSnce'  in  the  Room  was  Gone"-Troubled  about  the  R'ng-Bes  d 
the  Coffin  of  my  Dead  Friend-I  Place  the  Ring  on  ^er  Fmger-M^  Hus 
band's  Gift  for  Carrie-"  He  Considered  it  was  only  a  Dream  -^^^'"5 
for  the  Lnt-The  Saddest  Day  of  my  Life-My  Husband's  Secon  Ma. 
riage-I  Give  Away  the  Bride  !-Fulfilling  my  Promise-I  am  Married  to 
my  Husband  for  Carrie-Brigham's  Decree  :  The  Claims  of  the  Liv mg 
Tnd  the  De.d-Married  for  Eternity-The  Bride  and  Bridegroom-After 
I  Weddii^g-Loneliness  and  Grie'f-A  Night  of  Darkness  and  Sorrow.     446 





A  First  Wife's  Experience  in  Polygamy — "  Getting  Used  to  It" — The  Doings 
and  Devices  of  Polygamic  Wives — How  Mormon  Men  Deceive  and  are 
Deceived — Feminine  Drill-Sergeants — The  Ladies  who  Advocate  Poly- 
gamy ! — A  Present  for  Brother  Brigham — Getting  up  a  Petition — How 
Signatures  are  Procured — Inscribing  the  Names  of  the  Dead  as  Voters — 
Cruel  Efforts  of  Hopeless  Women — A  Mormon  Idea  of  a  Husband's 
Duty — The  Domestic  Arrangements  of  the  Saints — A  Man  with  Six 
Wives — How  he  Divides  his  Time — A  Crafty  Proceeding — The  Reward 
of  Generosity — Primitive  Habitations — Polygamy  in  the  Rough — The 
Discarded  Wife  in  the  Wagon-Box — "  Build  up  the  Kingdom  !" — Four 
Wives  and  their  Children  in  One  Room — Advantages  of  a  Large  House — 
Wealthy  Polygamists — Married  to  Two  Sisters — Marrying  a  Step-Daugh- 
ter— Managing  a  Husband — The  Influence  of  Good  Cookery — Wives  in 
Various  Settlements — The  Case  Reversed  :  A  Picture.     ....  ^^g 




Domestic  Difificulties — Husband  and  Lover — How  Brother  Brigham  Treats 
His  Wives — Polygamy  in  Poverty — Obedience  the  Crowning  Virtue — 
How  Women  Feel  and  Act  in  Polygamy — A  First  Wife's  Trials — The 
Young  Second  Wife — Home  Life  in  Polygamy — The  Husband  Displays 
His  "Jewels" — Our  Worldy  Prosperity — The  First  Daily  Paper  in  Utah 
— Whisperings  of  Murder — Not  in  the  Confidence  of  "The  Church" — 
Brigham's  Inconsistencies — Mr.  Stenhouse  Refuses  a  Contract — How 
Brother  Brigham  "Jumps  at  an  Offer" — How  He  Makes  His  Money — I 
Remind  My  Husband  of  Certain  Things — Another  Visit  from  My  Talka- 
tive Friend — Baptism  for  the  Dead — Baptized  for  Queen  Anne — A  Strange 
Description  of  Paradise — Napoleon  and  Washington  Mormon  Elders — 
Queen  Elizabeth  Enters  into  Polygamy — Becoming  Proxy  for  Henry  VIII. 
— The  Wife  of  the  Thief  on  the  Cross — Waiting  for  Queen  Fanny  !  -  474 



An  Absent  Husband's  "Kingdom" — A  Suggestion — A  Pleasant  Time  for  a 
Wife—"  The  Old  Woman  is  Full  of  the  Devil"— What  I  heard  at  the  Pic- 


Nics — A  "  Bishop"  and  his  Four  Wives — Quite  a  Spectacle  : — The 
"Woman  in  White  !" — The  "Peg"  that  "God  Made  for  Brigham's  Hat" 
— Dancing  among  the  Saints — How  Balls  and  Social  Parties  are  Conducted 
— A  Man  Disgraced  by  following  his  Wife — Sad  Fate  of  a  Swedish  Lady — 
Life  in  a  "Dug-Out" — Another  Phase  of  C<'/<'J'//a/ Marriage  ! — A  Wronged 
Wife  who  Poisoned  Herself — An  Apostle's  Five  Wives  ! — Doing  a  Kind- 
ness for  a  Dead  Uncle — Marrying  four  Wives  on  the  Same  Day — The 
Fish  Brought  in  by  Brother  Brigham's  Net — A  Slumbering  Conscience — 
The  Prophet's  Theatre — The  "  Word  of  Wisdom" — Brigham  Young's 
Whiskey-making  Establishment — The  "  Revelation"  and  the  Five-Gallon 
Keg— Why  Brigham  Sells  Bad  Whiskey— The  Dry-Goods  Store  of  "the 
Prophet  of  the  Lord." 493 


MY    DAUGHTER 'becomes    THE     FOURTH    WIFE    OF    BRIGHAM    YOUNG'S    SON — ^ 

Learning  More  of  the  Inner  Life — The  Mistakes  of  Newspaper  Correspond- 
ents in  Utah — Looking  through  Mormon  Spectacles — Kept  in  the  Dark — 
The  Second  Wife  Begins  Housekeeping — Getting  Rid  of  Her! — My 
Clara's  Lover — Joseph  A.  Young — The  Engagement — Waiting  for 
"  Something"  to  Turn  Up — Asking  Permission  to  Go  East — How  Mor- 
mon Girls  are  Deceived  and  Deceive  Themselves — Brother  Brigham 
"  Counsels"  Brother  Stenhouse — The  Wedding  Day  Fixed — The  Marriage 
Ceremony  in  the  Endowment-House — Brother  Brigham  Officiates — Mar- 
ried for  Time  and  for  All  Eternity — The  Fourth  Wife  of  a  Polygamist — 
A  Mother's  Sorrow — We  Receive  our  Second  Endowments — "  (?«;-"  Hus- 
band Anointed  King  and  Priest — Belinda  and  Myself  made  Queens  and 
Priestesses — A  Little  Stranger  :  The  Second  Wife's  Baby — "  The  Conclu- 
sion of  the  Whole  Matter."        206 




Peculiar  Position  of  Plural  Wives — The  Troubles  of  a  Pretty  Young  Welsh 
Girl — The  Story  of  Orson  Pratt  and  His  Young  Wife — The  "  Champion 
of  Polygamy" — The  Wife  of  an  Apostle — Leaving  a  Moyier  and  her 
Babes  to  Starve — The  Neglected  Wife — Destitute  and  Forsaken — At- 
tacked by  Fever — The  Wretched  Wife  Loses  her  Senses — She  Wanders 
Forth  Upon  the  Prairie  with  her  Babes — The  Good  Deeds  of  Brother  Kel- 
sey  and  his  Wife— They  Clothe  and  Feed  the  Poor  Wife — The  "Philos- 
opher" and  his  dying  Wife — He  Takes  Matters  Comfortably — "It  is  Too 
Late,  Orson  ;  Too  Late  !"  Another  Victim  to  Polygamy — How  a  Wife'fe 

Xxviii  CONTENTS. 

Rocking-chair  was  Stolen— How  a  Good  Brother  Whipped  His  Little 
•\Yife — Whence  Come  the  Elders'  Wives — Dupes  from  the  Old  World — 
••  Gone  East !" — His  other  "  Home" — The  Advent  of  Three  Little  Babies 
— Why  I  Blame  those  Men. 519 


"our"    husband's    fiancee — A     SECOND    WIFE'S    SORROWS — STEPS    TOWARDS 


A  Little  Misapprehension — My  Husband's  Kingdom — The  chosen  Maiden 
— The  Prophet's  daughter,  Zina— Reviewing  a  Lady-Love — A  Strange 
Consultation — The  Accepted  Lover — Love  of  no  Ordinary  Kind — "  Some- 
thing very  Beautiful" — "  He  Never  Loved  Before" — Progressive  Affection 
— Why  Zina  Pitied  Us — "  Our  Husband  !" — Sorrows  of  a  Second  Wife  : 
Belinda  in  Trouble — A  Pleasant  "  Duty  !" — The  Flirting  in  the  Prophet's 
Parlor — Wavering  Faith — The  "Revelation"  Criticised — Homoeopathic 
Religion — The  Book  of  Mormon  condetmis  Polygamy  ! — A  very  Question- 
able "  Prophet" — Belinda's  Bereavement — Accused  of  Favoring  the  Gen- 
tiles— Lover's  Quarrels — A  Long  Courtship — "  If  One  Girl  Won't  Another 
Will  !"-=-Steps  Towards  Apostacy. 535 



Some  Curious  Courtships — "The  Nicest  ole 'oman  in  the  Country!" — "  Be- 
:>poke "  Wives — Marrying  in  Haste — A  Woman  with  Nine  Husbands 
— A  Difficult  Question — The  Autocrat  of  Utah — Reminding  a  Husband — 
Accused  of  Favoring  the  Gentiles — The  "Subjugation  of  Women" — 
The  Daily  Telegraph  in  Trouble — Removing  to  Ogden — Brigham  Young 
Resolves  to  Ruin  Us — A  Crafty  Prophet — The  Ruin  of  Our  Fortunes — 
"It  Makes  Me  a  Free  Man!" — "Our"  Husband's  Divorce — "Take 
Care  of  That  Paper  " — Inside  the  Prophet's  Office — Signing  the  Docu- 
ment— A  Curious  Bill  of  Divorce — Belinda — Forming  a  Resolution — A 
'Sacrifice  Worth  Making. 548 



Sent  for  in  Haste — "  Sister  Mary  had  Taken  Poison" — Mary's  Troubles- 
Elder  Shrewsbury's  Wives — Removing  to  Salt  Lake  City — Domestic  Life 


without  Love — A  Wife's  Despair — A  Divided  Household — Seeking  Sym- 
pathy— The  forsaken  Wife — The  change  which  Polygamy  produced  ni  a 
Husband — Comforting  a  heartbroken  Wife — Dark  Thoughts — Waiting 
for  the  End — Mary  attempts  to  destroy  Herself — A  Painful  Story — 
Heartless  conduct  of  Elder  Shrewsbury — A  Wife's  Curse — Shadows  of 
the  Night — Broken-Hearted — The  Little  Medicine  Chest — A  fatal  Potion 
— Elder  Shrewsbury  visits  his  dying  Wife — "  What  a  Curse  was  therRl" 
— With  my  dying  Friend — Life's  Journey  Ended — Rest  at  last         -         -  561 



A  Crisis — Effects  of  Superstition  and  Blind  Obedience — Questioning  Brother 
Brigham's  Authority — The  Faithful  are  "Counselled"  Against  My  Hus- 
band— The  School  of  the  Prophets — Arbitrary  Measures — My  Husband 
is  Disfellowshipped — "  I  Will  Be  Free  !  " — The  Breaking  of  Bonds — 
The  Day  of  Liberty— Asking  to  be  "Cut  Off"  from  the  Church— A 
Brutal  Outrage  Upon  My  Husband  and  Myself — The  Secret  Police — Who 
Were  the  Guilty  ? — How  the  Bodies  of  Murdered  Men  are  "  Discovered  !" 
— The  Fate  of  Apostates — Carrying  Out  the  Teachings  of  Brigham — 
Who  Otight  to  be  Blamed— What  an  Ill-Treated  Wife  Told  Me— Brig- 
ham's  Explanation — He  Accuses  Belinda's  Brothers — How  Crimes  Are 
Explained  Away — Why  Brigham  Withdrew  an  Offered  Reward — What 
People  Dared  Not  Say. 576 




Another  Visit  from  my  Talkative  Friend — A  preliminary  Fuss — "  The  pic- 
ture of  Despair?" — He  did  it  on  Purpose — "That  little  Shrimp  of  a 
Girl" — Her  red  hair:  "Charlotte's  hair  is  Golden!'" — A  Little  Hasty  ! — 
An  Object  of  Interest — "  My  husband  is  a  Man" — "You  can't  calculate 
a  Man  " — A  nice  Question  of  Privilege — Rather  too  much  to  Manage — 
A  nice  Young  Woman  of  Thirty-Five  or  so  ! — Stout  in  Proportion — Old 
enough  to  be  his  Grandmother,  and  Squinted — Getting  used  to  a  pro- 
posed Bride — Watching  a  Truant  Husband — Not  the  least  Jealous  ? — A 
curious  kind  of  Church-Meeting ! — Keeping  up  his  Dignity — "  Enjoying 
themselves  without  jne!" — A  little  "Unpleasantness" — Charlotte's 
Scratched  Face — She  didn't  like  such  "Accidents" — "My  Henry  and 
that  Girl !  " — Millinery  and  Prayers — Bringing  a  Husband  to  Reason — 
Wife  against  Wife — Too  busy  to  Apostatise,     ......  585 




After  We  Left  the  Church — Beginning  Life  Afresh — The  Coldness  of  Our 
Former  Friends — Disposing  of  the  Daily  Telegraph — How  Fuller  Flour- 
ished :  Ran  a  Paper  and  Ran  Away — Our  New  Position — My  Husband 
Goes  East — Effects  of  the  "  New  Movement  " — "  Zion's  Co-operative 
Mercantile  Institution" — Brigham's  Store — "Country-folks  Seeking  After 
a  Sign  " — An  Old  Lady's  Stock  in  the  "Coop  " — A  Pound  and  a  half  of 
Nails! — The  "Order  of  Enoch" — The  Crowning  Swindle! — The  Very 
Vilest  Slavery  of  All — How  Reporters  and  Visitors  are  Fooled  by  Brig- 
ham — The  Ladies'  Petitions — Legalising  the  Marriage  of  Children  ! — 
The  Franchise  Conferred  on  Mormon  Women — How  Unanimously  they 
Vote  ! — The  Ballot  Farce  in  Utah — How  they  Allowed  the  Mules  to 
Vote  ! — Finery  versus  Faith — The  Position  in  Utah  To-day — The  Apostacy 
of  Brother  Brigham's  Son — Some  Singular  Statistics — Undoing  the  Past     59S 

L'ENVOL  618 



The  Memory  of  my  Youthful  Days — Early  Religious  Impressions — I  become  a 
Church-Member — My  Pious  Admirer — A  brief  Homily  on  Feminine  Vanities 
— My  first  Start  in  Life — Faithful  Counsels  of  a  Friend— Life  in  a  French 
School — The  Maison-Martin — Preparing  my  Lessons — Objecting  to  a  Prot- 
estant— "  Assisting  "  at  Service — My  Ghostly  Adviser — The  "  instructions  " 
of  a  Handsome  Young  Priest — Flirtation  and  Apostolic  Succession — The  Blind 
Leading  the  Blind — The  Scene  of  Labor  Changed — Domestic  life  at  St.  Brieux — 
An  indifferent  Young  Gentleman — The  Presence  of  an  "  Icicle  " — Quiet  Atten- 
tions to  "  Mademoiselle-Miss  " — The  Man  who  waits  Wins — My  Affianced 
Lover — Reasons  why  a  French  girl  Marries — Views  of  Marriage  among  the 
French — Traces  of  Early  Teachings — Mental  Struggles  and  Doubts — I  Resolve 
to  Visit  England — The  Crisis  of  my  Life. 

THE  Story  which  I  propose  to  tell  in  these  pages  is  a 
plain,  unexaggerated  record  of  facts  which  have  come 
immediately  under  my  own  notice,  or  which  I  have  myself 
personally  experienced. 

Much  that  to  the  reader  may  seem  altogether  incredible, 
would  to  a  Mormon  mind  appear  simply  a  matter  of  ordinary 
every-day  occurrence  with  which  everyone  in  Utah  is  sup- 
posed to  be  perfectly  familiar.  The  reader  must  please  remem- 
ber that  I  am  not  telling — as  so  many  writers  have  told  in 
newspaper  correspondence  and  sensational  stories — the  hasty 
and  incorrect  statements  and  opinions  gleaned  during  a  short 
visit  to  Salt  Lake  City  ;  but  my  own  experience — the  story  of 
a  faith,  strange,  wild,  and  terrible  it  may  be,  but  which  was 
once  so  intimately  enwoven  with  all  my  associations  that  it 
became  a  part  of  my  very  existence  itself ;  and  facts,  the  too 
true  reality  of  which  there  are  living  witnesses  by  hundreds 
and  even  thousands  who  could  attest  if  only  they  would. 

32  DAYS     OF    CHILDHOOD. 

With  the  reader's  permission  I  shall  briefly  sketch  my 
experience  from  the  very  beginning. 

I  was  born  in  the  year  1829,  in  St.  Heliers,*  Jersey — one  of 
the  islands  of  the  English  Channel. 

From  my  earliest  recollection  I  was  favorably  disposed  to 
religious  influences,  and  when  only  fourteen  years  of  age  I 
became  a  member  of  the  Baptist  Church,  of  which  my  father 
and  mother  were  also  members.  With  the  simplicity  and 
enthusiasm  of  youth  I  was  devoted  to  the  religious  faith  of 
the  denomination  to  which  I  had  attached  myself,  and  sought 
to  live  in  a  manner  which  should  be  acceptable  to  God. 

My  childhood  passed  away  without  the  occurrence  of  any 
events  which  would  be  worthy  of  mention,  although,  of  course, 
my  mind  was  even  then  receiving  that  religious  bias  which 
afterwards  led  me  to  adopt  the  faith  of  the  Latter-day  Saints. 
Like  most  girls  in  their  teens  I  had  a  naturallove  of  dress — 
a  weakness,  if  such  it  be,  of  the  sex  generally.  I  was  not 
extravagant,  for  that  I  could  not  be  ;  but  thirty  years  ago 
members  of  dissenting  churches  were  more  staid  in  their 
dress  and  demeanor  and  were  less  of  the  world,  I  think,  than 
they  are  to-day.  In  plainness  of  dress  the  Methodists  and 
Baptists  much  resembled  the  Quakers.  My  girlish  weakness 
caused  me  to  be  the  subject  of  many  a  reprimand  from  older 
church-members,  who  were  rather  strict  in  their  views.  I 
well  remember  one  smooth-faced,  pious,  corpulent  brother 
who  was  old  enough  to  be  my  father,  saying  to  me  one  day : 
"  My  dear  young  sister,  were  it  not  for  your  love  of  dress,  I 
have  seriously  thought  that  I  would  some  day  make  you  my 
wife."  I  wickedly  resolved  that  if  a  few  bright  colored  rib- 
bons would  disgust  my  pious  admirer,  it  should  not  be  my 
fault  if  he  still  continued  to  think  of  me.  But  many  of  our 
other  church-members  were  more  lenient.  Our  good  minister 
in  particular  bore  with  my  childish  imperfections,  as  he  said,  on 
account  of  my  youth  and  inexperience  ;  and  later  still,  when  I 
was  ready  to  leave  my  native  island,  an  extra  ribbon  or  a 
fashionable  dress  had  not  affected  my  standing  in  the  Baptist 

MY    LIFE    IN    FRANCE. 


I  mention  these  trifles,  not  because  I  attach  any  import- 
ance to  them  in  themselves,  but  because  similar  religious 
tendencies  and  a  devotional  feeling  were  almost  universally- 
found  to  be  the  causes  which  induced  men  and  women  to  join 
the  Mormon  Church.  From  among  Roman  Catholics,  who 
place  unquestioning  confidence  in  their  priesthood,  and  also 
from  among  persons  predisposed  to  infidelity,  came  few,  if 
any,  converts  to  Mormonism.  But  it  was  from  among  the 
religiously  inclined — the  Evangelical  Protestants  of  the  Old 
World  that  the  greater  number  of  proselytes  came. 

But  to  return  to  my  story.  I  was  one  of  the  younger  mem- 
bers of  a  large  family ;  and  when  I  thought  of  the  future  I 
readily  saw  that  if  I  desired  a  position  in  life  I  should  have  to 
make  it  for  myself ;  and  this  I  resolved  to  do.  I  began  by 
consulting  all  my  friends  who  I  thought  would  be  able  to 
counsel  or  assist  me  in  carrying  out  my  determination  ;  and 
before  long  I  found  the  opportunity  which  I  sought.  An 
English  lady,  the  wife  of  a  captain  in  the  British  army,  to 
whom  I  had  confided  my  aspirations,  proposed — although  I 
was  not  yet  fifteen  years  of  age — to  take  me  with  her  to 
France,  in  the  temporary  capacity  of  governess  to  her  chil- 
dren, assuring  me  at  the  same  time  that  she  would  advance 
my  interests  in  every  possible  way  after  our  arrival. 

This  lady  and  her  husband  were  as  kind  to  me  as  my  own 
parents  could  have  been  ;  and  soon  after  our  arrival  in  France 
they  procured  for  me  a  situation  in  one  of  the  best  schools  in 
St.  Brieux,  called  the  Maison-Martin,  where,  young  as  I  was,  I 
engaged  myself  to  teach  the  young  ladies  fancy-needlework  and 
embroidery,  as  well  as  to  give  lessons  in  English.  Some  of 
the  elder  girls,  I  soon  found,  were  further  advanced  in  fancy- 
needlework  and  some  other  matters  than  I  was  myself.  This, 
of  course,  I  did  not  tell  them  ;  but  to  supply  my  deficiency  I 
spent  many  a  midnight  hour  in  study  and  in  preparing  myself 
to  give  the  advanced  instructions  which  would  be  required  by 
my  pupils  on  the  following  day.  For  some  time  after  I  began 
my  work  as  teacher  in  that  school,  I  spent  the  whole  of  my 
salary  in  paying  for  private  lessons  to  keep  me  in  advance  of 

34  "instructing"  a  protestant. 

my  pupils.  It  was  for  awhile  a  severe  task  and  a  strain  upon 
my  youthful  energies  ;  but  I  have  never  since  regretted  it,  as 
it  gave  an  impulse  to  my  mind  that  has  remained  with  me 
through  life. 

I  had  not  been  more  than  six  months  in  my  situation  when 
the  parents  of  one  of  the  pupils  objected  to  the  school  retain- 
ing a  Protestant  teacher,  and  I  was  consequently  given  to 
understand  that  unless  I  consented  to  be  instructed,  if  nothing 
more,  in  the  Roman  Catholic  faith,  I  could  not  remain  in  my 
present  position.  This  was  my  first. experience  of  that  relig- 
ious intolerance  of  which  I  afterwards  saw  so  much.  The 
principal  of  the  establishment,  however,  being  very  kindly 
disposed  towards  me,  advised  me  to  submit,  and  it  was  finally 
agreed  that  I  should  be  allowed  twelve  months  for  instruction 
and  consideration. 

During  this  probationary  year  I  attended  mass  every 
morning  from  seven  to  eight  o'clock,  and  was  present  at 
vespers  at  least  three  times  a  week.  Every  Saturday  morn- 
ing I  accompanied  my  pupils  to  the  confessional,  where  I  had 
to  remain  from  seven  o'clock  till  noon ;  after  which  we 
returned  to  breakfast.  On  Sundays  there  was  the  usual 
morning  mass,  and  after  that  high  mass  ;  and  in  the  afternoon, 
from  two  to  four,  we  listened  to  a  sermon.  In  addition  to  all 
these  services,  at  which  I  was  expected  to  "  assist,"  a  very 
good-looking,  interesting  young  priest  was  appointed  to  attend 
to  the  spiritual  instruction  of  the  young  Protestant,  as  they 
called  me,  after  school  hours.  He  saw  me  frequently,  but  he 
was  ill-qualified  to  instruct  me  in  the  Catholic  faith  or  to 
remove  my  doubts,  for  he  was  not  himself  too  happy  in  the 
sacerdotal  robe.  At  first  he  aimed  at  convincing  me  that  the 
apostolic  priesthood  vested  in  the  Fishermen  of  Galilee  had 
descended  in  unbroken  succession  in  the  Church  of  Rome  ; 
but  he  seemed  to  me  much  more  inclined  for  a  flirtation  than 
for  argument ;  I  thought  I  could  at  times  discover  something 
of  regret  on  his  own  part  at  having  taken  holy  orders;  and  in 
after  years  I  heard  that  he  had  abandoned  his  profession. 

To  the  numerous  stories  of  Catholic  oppression  and  arti- 

MY   NEW   POSITION.  '  35 

fice  in  undermining  Protestants  and  seducing  them  from  their 
faith,  I  cannot  add  my  own  testimony.  Those  among  whom 
I  hved  very  naturally  desired  that  I  should  be  instructed  in 
their  religion  and  join  the  church  to  which  they  belonged ; 
but  their  bearing  towards  me  was  ever  kind  and  respectful ; 
although  when  the  twelve  months  of  probation  had  expired, 
I  found  myself  as  much  attached  to  the  religion  of  my  child- 
hood as  ever,  and  had  in  consequence  to  resign  my  situa- 
tion. I  had  made  many  warm  friends  in  the  school,  and  none 
were  kinder  to  me  than  the  principal,  who  proved  her  attach- 
ment by  finding  for  me  a  lucrative  situation  in  a  wealthy 
private  family. 

My  new  position  was  a  decided  advance  in  social  life.  The 
family  consisted  of  husband  and  wife,  two  children,  the  hus- 
band's brother,  and  an  elderly  uncle.  The  husband  was  a 
wealthy  commoner.  The  lady  by  birth  was  of  the  noblesse, 
but  poor.  The  guardians  of  the  titled  lady  had  formed  a  mat- 
rimonial alliance  for  her  by  advertisement,  and,  fortunately 
for  them,  when  the  husband  and  wife  first  saw  each  other, 
they  loved — an  experience  not  too  common  in  France.  The 
fruits  of  this  marriage  were  happiness  and  two  sweet  little 
girls,  who  were,  when  I  first  knew  them,  of  the  ages  of  five 
and  seven  years  respectively.  The  young  gentleman  alluded 
to — the  husband's  brother — had  been  educated  for  the  church, 
but  when  the  proper  time  came  had  refused  to  take  orders  ; 
the  uncle  was  a  fine  old  gentleman,  a  retired  general  in  the 
French  army  and  a  bachelor.  Altogether  they  formed  as 
happy  a  domestic  circle  as  I  had  ever  known.  The  position 
which  I  occupied  among  them  was  that  of  governess  and 
English  teacher  to  the  two  little  girls. 

My  young  charges  during  the  first  year  made  rapid  pro- 
gress, which  was  very  gratifying  to  the  family  and  secured  for 
me  their  good-will  and  interest.  Had  I  been  their  nearest 
relative  I  could  not  have  received  more  respect  and  consider- 
ation from  them.  One  member  of  the  circle  alone  seemed  to 
be  entirely  indifferent  to  my  presence  ;  this  was  the  brother 
of  Monsieur  De  Bosque.     Though  I  had  lived  in  the  same 


house  with  him  a  whole  year,  and  had  sat  at  the  same  table 
every  day,  scarcely  a  word  had  ever  passed  between  us  beyond 
a  formal  salutation. 

The  young  gentleman  was  very  handsome,  and  when  con- 
versing with  others  his  manner  was  extremely  fascinating.  I 
did  not  believe  that  I  particularly  desired  his  attentions,  but 
his  indifference  annoyed  me — for  I  had  never  before  been 
treated  with  such  coldness,  and  I  determined  to  become  as 
frigid  and  formal  as  he  could  possibly  be  himself.  This  for- 
mal acquaintanceship  continued  for  two  years,  and  I  per- 
suaded myself  that  I  had  become  altogether  indifferent  to  the 
presence  of  my  icicle,  while  at  the  same  time  all  the  other 
members  of  the  family  increased  in  their  manifestations  of 
attachment  to  me. 

But  trifles  often  possess  a  great  significance.  It  was  the 
custom  of  the  family  to  get  up  a  little  lottery  once  a  week  for 
the  children,  if  my  report  of  their  deportment  and  progress 
was  favorable.  In  this  lottery  were  presents  of  books,  toys, 
gloves,  and  a  variety  of  fancy  articles,  and  among  them  there 
was  sure  to  be  a  bojiqiiet  of  choice  flowers  for  "  Mademoiselle- 
Miss,"  as  they  familiarly  called  me.  I  knew  not  positively 
whom  to  thank,  although  I  instinctively  felt  from  whom  they 
came,  for  the  other  members  of  the  family  always  made  me 
more  useful  presents.  In  time  one  little  attention  led  to 
another,  until  at  the  end  of  three  years  I  found  myself  the 
fiancee  of  the  wealthy  Constant  De  Bosque.  Then — or  rather 
shortly  before — he  avowed  that  he  had  been  silently  watching 
me  all  those  years. 

Madame  De  Bosque  was  opposed  to  my  marriage  with  her 
brother-in-law,  as  she  desired  that  he  should  marry  one  of  her 
own  wealthy  cousins  of  the  old  noblesse  of  France.  She 
treated  me,  notwithstanding,  with  great  kindness  and  confined 
her  opposition  to  persuading  me  not  to  listen  to  her  brother's 
suit ;  but  finding  opposition  to  his  wishes  ineffectual,  she 
finally  consented  to  our  engagement,  which  took  place  in  the 
following  winter. 

PVom  what  I  observed  of  the  relations  which  existed  be- 


tween  husbands  and  wives  in  France,  I  did  not  feel  perfectly 
happy  in  the  thought  of  becoming  the  wife  of  a  Frenchman, 
although  I  dearly  loved  the  French  people.  Several  of  my 
young  lady  acquaintances,  I  knew,  had  married  because  it  was 
fashionable,  and  especially  because  it  was  an  emancipation 
from  what  ladies  in  the  higher  ranks  of  society  regarded  as  a 
severe  social  restraint.  It  was  considered  shocking  for  any 
young  lady  to  be  seen  talking  to  a  young  gentleman  in  the 
street ;  indeed  it  was  hardly  proper  for  any  unmarried  girl  to 
be  seen  in  the  street  at  all  without  a  bonne  or  some  married 
lady  to  accompany  her.  But  immediately  she  was  married 
she  was  at  liberty  to  flirt  and  promenade  with  all  the  gentle- 
men of  her  acquaintance,  while  her  husband  enjoyed  the 
same  liberty  among  the  ladies.  This  state  of  affairs  did  not 
at  all  coincide  with  my  English  ideas,  for  to  me  the  very 
thought  of  marriage  was  invested  with  the  most  sacred  obli- 
gations, and  I  knew  I  should  never  be  able  to  bring  my  mind 
to  accept  less  from  my  husband  than  I  should  feel  it  my  duty 
to  render  to  him. 

I  loved  the  French  people,  and  was  pleased  with  their  polite 
mannerism,  but  I  was  not  French  in  character ;  and  though 
the  prospect  before  me  of  an  alliance  with  a  wealthy  and 
noble  family  was  certainly  pleasant,  and  I  was  greatly  attached 
to  vc\y  fiancee,  my  mind  was  considerably  agitated  upon  the  sub- 
ject of  marriage,  as  it  had  before  been  occupied  with  religion. 

During  my  sojourn  in  France  I  had  frequently  questioned 
myself  whether  I  had  not  done  wronjj  in  remaining  absent  for 
so  many  years  from  my  home  and  from  communion  with  the 
church  of  my  childhood,  and  I  had  always  looked  forward  to 
the  time  when  I  should  return  to  them  again.  To  this  occa- 
sional self-examination  was  now  added  another  cause  of  anxi- 
ety, produced  by  the  thought  of  marriage  with  a  person  of  a 
different  faith.  Marriage,  to  me,  was  the  all-important  event 
in  a  woman's  life,  and  some  mysterious  presentiment  seemed 
to  forewarn  me  that  marriage  in  my  life  was  to  be  more  than 
*an  ordinary  episode — though  little  did  I  then  dream  that  it 
would  have  a  polygamic  shaping. 

38  THE    FINGER    OF    DESTINY    DRAWS    ME    ON. 

My  young  ambition  alone  had  led  me  to  France.  I  had 
aspired  to  an  honorable  social  position,  and  had  found  both  it 
and  also  devoted  friends.  Sometimes  I  felt  that  I  could  not 
relinquish  what  I  had  gained  ;  at  other  times  I  yearned  for 
the  associations  of  my  childhood  and  the  guiding  hand  of 
earlier  friends.  The  conflict  in  my  mind  was  often  painful. 
My  early  prejudices  and  the  teachings  of  those  around  me 
induced  me  to  believe  that  the  Roman  Cathohc  religion  was 
entirely  wrong ;  yet,  notwithstanding,  while  living  among 
Catholics  I  saw  nothing  to  condemn  in  their  personal  lives, 
but  much  to  the  contrary.  In  fact,  Romanism  fascinated  me, 
while  it  failed  to  convince  my  judgment. 

While  laboring  under  these  conflicting  sentiments,  I  re- 
solved to  visit  my  native  land,  to  consult  with  my  parents 
about  my  contemplated  marriage ;  and  for  that  purpose  I 
asked  and  obtained  two  months'  vacation.  Surely  some  mys- 
terious destiny  must  have  been  drawing  me  to  England  at 
that  particular  crisis,  and  before  the  fulfilling  of  my  engage- 
ment, which  would  have  changed  so  entirely  the  whole  cur- 
rent of  my  existence. 



Returning  Home-"  An  Rr.olr^^-A  visit  to  Jersey-The  Home  of  my  Child- 
hood—My First  Introduction  to  Mormonism— An  "  Apostate  s  View  of  the 
Saints-Revelation  and  Roguery-A  Matter  of  Personal  Interest-A  Lady's 
Looic-A  Warning  against  the  New  Religion-First  Visit  to  a  Mormon  Meet- 
incT-Catchin-  the  "Mormon  Fever  "-Snubbing  an  Elder-A  Polite  Saint- 
Fi'^htinc.  a  Delusion-Among  Dear  Friends-"  Full  of  the  Spirif'-Religion 
in  Practical  Life-Preparing  Comforts  for  the  Missionary  Elders-Emotional 
Religion-The  Testimony  of  the  Spirit-Sunday  Service  among  the  Saints- 
Contagious  Enthusiasm-The  Story  of  a  Too-confiding  Con^^rt-How  He 
Went;ut  to  Zion-Terrible  Fate  of  an  Apostate-Killed  by  the  Indians  - 
Preaching  under  Difficulties-My  First  Introduction  to  my  Future  Husband- 
"  The  Other  Daughter  from  France  "-The  Eloquence  of  Elder  Stenhouse- 
Creating  an  Impression— A  Memorable  Era  in  My  Life. 

DURING  my  residence  in  France,  my  parents  had  left  St. 
Heliers  and  returned  to  Southampton,  England.  To 
visit  them  now  I  had  to  take  a  sailing  vessel  from  Portneux 
to  the  Isle  of  Jersey,  and  thence  I  could  take  the  steamer  to 

Monsieur  and  Madame  De  Bosque,  together  with  the  two 
little  girls,  accompanied  me  in  their  private  carriage  to  Por- 
trieux,  a  distance  of  forty  miles,  in  order  to  confide  me  safely 
to  the  captain's  care.  As  they  wished  me  "  bon  voyage  "  and 
embraced  me  affectionately,  Mons.  De  Bosque  handed  me  a 
valuable  purse  for  pocket-money  during  my  absence,  and  they 
all  exhibited  great  anxiety  for  my  welfare,  saying  over  and 
over  again  au  revoir,  as  they  entered  their  carriage  to  return 
to  their  happy  home  ;— thereby  implying  that  this  was  not  a 
final  adieu,  but  that  we  should  soon  meet  again. 

I  cannot  tell  why  it  was,  but  I  experienced  at  that  moment  a 
painful  f eeUng  of  mental  indecision  about  the  future.    I  had  no 


real  reason  to  doubt  my  return  to  France  and  the  certainty  of  a 
warm  welcome  when  I  should  again  greet  those  dear  ones  who 
were  now  leaving  me  in  tears  ;  but  my  mind  was  troubled  by 
a  vague  feeling  of  uncertainty  which  made  me  anything  but 
happy.  Filial  affection  and  a  sense  of  duty  drew  me  towards 
my  parents  in  England  ;  while  a  feeling  of  gratitude,  and,  I 
think,  another  and  more  tender  sentiment,  turned  the  current 
of  my  thoughts  towards  the  happy  home  at  St.  Brieux. 

It  was  not  necessary  for  me  to  stop  in  Jersey  for  more  than 
a  few  hours,  but  I  wanted  to  revisit  the  scenes  of  my  child- 
hood's happy  days  and  to  speak  again  with  those  whom  I  had 
known  and  loved  in  early  life.  In  later  years  the  scenes  and 
memories  of  childhood  seem  like  the  imaginings  of  a  pleasant 
dream.  A  sweet  charm  is  thrown  around  all  that  we  then 
said  and  did  ;  and  the  men  and  women  who  then  were  known 
to  us  are  pictured  in  our  recollection  as  beings  possessing 
charms  and  graces  such  as  never  belonged  to  the  common- 
place children  of  earth.  The  glamour  of  a  fairy  wand  is  over 
all  the  past  history  of  mankind  ;  but  upon  nothing  does  it 
cast  so  potent  a  spell  as  upon  the  personal  reminiscences  of 
our  own  infant  years.  To  me  that  little  island  had  charms 
which  no  stranger  could  ever  have  discovered  ;  and  even  now 
after  the  lapse  of  so  many  long,  eventful  years  I  often  feel  an 
earnest  wish  to  visit  again  those  rock-bound  shores,  to  listen 
to  the  everlasting  murmur  of  the  wild,  wild  waves,  to  watch 
the  distant  speck-like  vessels  far  away  upon  the  swelling 
ocean,  and  to  drink  in  the  invigorating  breezes  which  seem  to 
give  life  and  energy  to  every  pulsation  of  the  living  soul. 

But  I  must  not  theorise  :  life  has  been  to  me  too  earnest 
and  too  painful  to  admit  of  much  sentiment  or  fancy  as  I  re- 
call the  past.  Little  as  I  thought  it,  during  the  short  visit 
which  I  paid  to  my  birthplace,  the  web  of  destiny  was  being 
woven  for  me  in  a  way  which  I  could  not  then  have  conjec- 
tured even  in  a  dream. 

At  St.  Heliers  I  heard  for  the  first  time  of  the  Latter-day 
Saints,  or  Mormonites,  as  they  were  more  familiarly  called  ; 
but  I  cannot  express  how  perfectly  astonished  I  was  when  I 

SERVANTS    OF    THE   EVIL    ONE.  4 1 

learned  that  my  father,  mother,  sisters,  and  one  of  my  bro- 
thers nad  been  converted  to  the  new  faith. 

It  was  my  own  brother-in-law  who  told  me  this.  He  him- 
self, with  my  sister,  were  "  Apostate  "  Mormons.  They  had 
been  baptized  into  the  Mormon  Church,  but  became  dissatis- 
fied and  abandoned  it.  The  St.  Heliers'  branch  of  the  Latter- 
day  Saints  had  had  a  turbulent  experience.  Their  first  teach- 
ings had  been  a  mixture  of  Bible  texts  about  the  last  days, 
and  arguments  about  the  millennium,  the  return  of  the  Jews 
to  Palestine,  the  resurrection  of  the  dead,  and  a  new  revel- 
ation and  a  new  prophet  ;  but  the  improper  conduct  of  some 
of  the  elders  had  disgusted  the  people  with  their  doctrines, 
and  the  tales  of  wickedness  which  I  heard  were,  if  true, 
certainly  sufficient  to  justify  them  in  rejecting  such  in- 

The  more  I  heard  of  this  strange  religion  the  more  I  was 
troubled  ;  yet,  as  I  knew  my  parents  were  devoted  Christians, 
I  could  hardly  believe  that  Mormonism  was  such  a  vile  delu- 
sion and  imposture  as  it  had  been  represented  to  me,  or  they 
would  never  have  accepted  it :  still  it  was  possible  that  they 
had  been  led  astray  by  the  fascinations  of  a  new  religion. 

In  this  state  of  mind  I  met  in  the  street  the  wife  of  the 
Baptist  minister  whom  I  have  already  mentioned.  She 
greeted  me  affectionately  and  then  began  at  once  to  warn  me 
against  the  Latter-day  Saints.  I  enquired  what  she  knew  of 
them,  and  she  replied  that  personally  she  knew  nothing,  but 
she  believed  them  to  be  servants  of  the  Evil  One,  adding, 
"  There  is  a  strange  power  with  them  that  fascinates  the  peo- 
ple and  draws  them  into  their  meshes  in  spite  of  themselves. 
Let  me  entreat  you  not  to  go  near  them.  Do  not  trust 
yourself  at  one  of  their  meetings,  or  the  delusion  will  take 
hold  oi  you  too." 

"  I  cannot  ignore  Mormonism  in  this  way,"  I  said,  "  or  pass 
it  by  with  indifference,  for  my  parents  whom  I  tenderly  love 
have  been  blinded  by  this  delusion,  and  I  can  do  no  less  than 
investigate  its  teachings  thoroughly,  and  expose  its  errors,  and, 
if  possible,  save  my  father's  family  from  ruin." 


She  was  not  convinced  that  this  was  the  wisest  course  for 
me  to  pursue,  but  I  resolved  at  once  to  attend  a  meeting  of 
the  Saints  and  judge  for  myself.  My  brother-in-law,  when  he 
heard  of  my  intentions,  tried  to  dissuade  me,  but,  finding 
me  determined,  finally  offered  to  escort  me  to  the  meeting- 

What  I  heard  on  this  occasion  made  a  great  impression  on 
my  mind,  and  set  me  thinking  as  I  had  never  thought  before. 
On  returning  to  my  sister's  house  she  asked  me  what  opinion  I 
had  now  formed  of  the  Latter-day  Saints.  I  replied  that  I  had 
not  yet  formed  any  conclusion,  but  that  what  I  had  heard  had 
given  me  serious  cause  for  reflection.  "  Oh,"  she  said,  "  You 
have  caught  the  Mormon  fever,  I  see." 

I  felt  a  disposition  to  resent  this  implication,  but  I  was  half 
afraid  that,  after  all,  my  sister  was  right.  Much  that  I  had 
heard  could,  I  knew,  be  proved  true  from  Scripture  ;  and  the 
rest  seemed  to  me  to  be  capable  of  demonstration  from  the 
same  authority.  I  resolved,  however,  to  fortify  myself 
against  a  too  easy  credulity,  and  thought  that  probably  if 
I  heard  more  of  these  doctrines  I  might  be  able  to  discover 
their  falsity. 

On  the  following  day,  the  elder  who  had  preached  at  the 
meeting,  and  who,  by  the  way,  is  one  of  the  present  propri- 
etors of  the  Salt  Lake  Herald,  called  to  see  me,  as  he  had 
been  intimate  with  my  parents  before  they  left  the  island.  I 
hardly  knew  how  to  be  civil  to  him,  though  he  had  done  no- 
thing to  offend  me,  nor  had  he  been  the  cause  of  my  parents 
entering  the  Mormon  Church  ;  but  I  disliked  him  solely  on 
account  of  the  stories  which  I  had  heard  about  the  Mormons. 
Litending  only  to  be  kind  to  me,  he  told  me  that  on  the  fol- 
lowing day  he  proposed  to  take  the  steamer  for  Southampton, 
as  he  was  going  to  attend  a  conference  of  the  Saints  in  Lon- 
don, and  that  he  should  be  pleased  to  shew  me  any  attentions 
while  crossing  the  Channel,  and  would  see  me  safe  home  in 
England.  I  confess  I  really  felt  insulted  at  a  Mormon  Elder 
offering  to  be  my  escort ;  and  although  my  trunks  were 
»ready  packed  for  my  departure  by  the  same  steamer,  and  Mr. 


Dunbar  knew  it,  I  thanked  him  politely  but  said  I  would  not 
go  by  that  boat.  He  tried  to  persuade  me  to  change  my 
mind  and  said  that  I  should  have  to  wait  a  whole  week  for  an- 
other vessel  ;  and  at  last  I  frankly  told  him  the  abhorrence  I 
felt  at  the  things  I  had  heard  about  the  Mormons,  and  that  I 
should  be  afraid  to  travel  in  the  same  steamer  with  him  or  any 
of  the  Mormon  Elders  who  I  regarded  as  no  better  than  so 
many  whited  sepulchres.  He,  however,  very  kindly  took  no 
offence  for  he  knew  that  I  had  been  listening  to  those  who 
disliked  the  Saints.  I  felt  ashamed  at  having  been  betrayed 
into  such  unladylike  rudeness,  but,  notwithstanding,  tried  to 
persuade  myself  that  his  civility  was,  after  all,  an  insult  ;  for  I 
had  conceived  a  detestation  of  every  Mormon,  on  account  of  the 
deception  which  I  felt  sure  had  been  practiced  upon  my  family. 

This  feeling  was  not  lessened  by  the  consciousness  that  an 
impression  had  been  made  upon  my  own  mind.  The  more  in 
accordance  with  Scripture  the  teaching  of  the  Elders  appeared, 
the  more  firmly  I  believed  it  must  be  a  powerful  delusion. 
Here,  I  said,  Satan  has  indeed  taken  the  form  of  an  angel  of 
light  to  deceive,  if  possible,  the  very  elect. 

Elder  Dunbar  finding  me  unyielding,  left  by  the  next 
steamer  and  had  a  pleasant  passage  across  the  Channel,  and  I 
remained  on  the  island  another  week.  During  that  interval 
my  mind  was  haunted  with  what  I  had  heard  of  this  new  gos- 
pel dispensation,  as  it  was  called.  That  angels  had  again 
descended  from  heaven  to  teach  men  upon  earth  ;  that  a  pro- 
phet had  been  raised  up  to  speak  again  the  mind  of  the  Lord 
to  the  children  of  men  ;  that  the  Saints  were  partakers  of  the 
gifts  of  the  Spirit,  as  in  the  Early  Christian  Church, — all  these 
assumed  facts  took  the  form  of  reality,  and  came  back  into 
my  mind  with  greater  force  every  time  I  strove  to  drive  them 
away ;  just  as  our  thoughts  do  when  we  desire  to  sleep,  and 
cannot — our  very  efforts  to  dismiss  them  bring  them  back 
with  greater  force  to  torment  us. 

We  had  an  unusually  bad  passage  across  the  Channel, 
which  annoyed  me  all  the  more  when  I  remembered  my 
scornful  refusal  to  go  in  the  same  boat  with  Elder  Dunbar. 


On  my  arrival  in  Southampton  I  soon  discovered  that  my 
father,  mother,  and  sisters  were  full  of  the  spirit  of  Mormon- 
ism.  They  were  rejoicing  in  it,  ardently  believing  that  it 
was  the  fulness  of  the  everlasting  gospel,  as  the  elders  styled 
it  ;  and  whatever  I  might  think  of  the  new  religion  I  was 
forced  to  confess  that  it  brought  into  my  father's  house  peace, 
love,  kindness,  and  charity  such  as  were  seldom  seen  in  many 
households  of  religious  people.  My  sisters  were  completely 
changed  in  their  manner  of  life.  They  cared  nothing  for  the 
amusements  which  girls  of  their  age  usually  crave  and  enjoy. 
Their  whole  thoughts  seemed  to  be  occupied  with  the  Church, 
attending  the  meetings  of  the  saints,  and  employing  every 
leisure  hour  in  preparing  comforts  for  the  Elders  who  were 
travelling  and  preaching  without  purse  and  scrip.  And  in  all 
this  they  were  as  happy  as  children. 

Of  my  parents  I  might  say  the  same.  My  dear  mother  re- 
joiced in  the  belief  that  she  had  been  peculiarly  blessed  in 
being  privileged  to  live  at  a  time  when  "  the  last  dispensa- 
tion "  was  revealed  ;  and  my  father,  though  an  invalid,  rejoiced 
that  he  had  entered  into  the  kingdom  by  baptism.  Such  was 
the  condition  of  my  father's  house  ;  and  who  can  wonder  that, 
accustomed  as  I  was  to  listen  with  respect  to  the  opinions  of 
my  parents,  I  was  more  than  ever  troubled  about  the  new  re- 
ligion which  they  had  adopted. 

The  first  Sunday  morning  that  I  was  in  England,  my 
parents  asked  me  to  accompany  them  to  meeting,  and  I  read- 
ily complied,  as  I  wanted  to  hear  more  of  the  strange  doc- 
trines which  in  some  mysterious  way  had  made  our  family  so 
happy,  but  which  in  other  quarters  had  provoked  such  bitter 
hostility.  I  know  now  that  this  joyousness  of  heart  is  not 
peculiar  to  new  converts  to  Mormonism,  but  may  be  found 
among  the  newly-converted  of  every  sect  which  allows  the 
emotional  feelings  to  come  into  play.  To  me,  at  the  time, 
however,  it  was  a  mystery,  but  I  must  confess  that  the  change 
which  had  taken  place  in  those  nearest  and  dearest  to  me, 
affecting  me  personally,  and  being  so  evidently  in  accordance 
with  the  teachings  of  the  Saviour,  led  me  to  regard  Mormon- 

"zion's  standard  is  unfurled."  45 

ism  with  less  antipathy.  The  bright  side  alone  of  the  new 
faith  was  presented  to  the  world  abroad  ;  we  had  yet  to  go  to 
Utah  and  witness  the  effects  of  Brigham  Young's  teachings 
at  home  before  we  could  know  what  Mormonism  really  was. 
I  shall  never  forget  the  trial  it  was  to  my  pride  to  enter  the 
dirty,  mean-looking  room  where  the  Saints  assembled  at  that 
time.  No  one  would  rent  a  respectable  hall  to  them,  and  they 
were  glad  to  obtain  the  use  of  any  place  which  was  large 
enough  for  their  meetings.  On  the  present  occasion  there 
was  a  very  fair  gathering  of  people,  who  had  come  together 
influenced  by  the  most  varied  motives.  The  Presiding  Elder 
— I  should  here  remark  that  the  word  "  Elder"  has  among  the 
Mormons  no  reference  whatever  to  age,  but  is  simply  a  rank 
in  the  priesthood — called  the  meeting  to  order,  and  read  the 
following  hymn : 

The  morning  breaks,  the  shadows  flee ; 

Lo  !  Zion's  standard  is  unfurled ! 
The  dawning  of  a  brighter  day 

Majestic  rises  on  the  world. 

The  clouds  of  error  disappear 

Before  the  rays  of  truth  divine ; 
The  glory  bursting  from  afar, 

Wide  o'er  the  nations  soon  will  shine  I 

The  Gentile  fulness  now  comes  in, 

And  Israel's  blessings  are  at  hand  ; 
Lo  !  Judah's  remnant,  cleansed  from  sin, 

Shall  in  the  promised  Canaan  stand. 

Angels  from  heaven  and  truth  from  earth 

Have  met,  and  both  have  record  borne ; 
Thus  Zion's  light  is  bursting  forth 

To  bring  her  ransomed  children  home. 

Every  word  of  this  hymn  had  a  meaning  peculiar  to  itself, 
relating  to  the  distinctive  doctrines  of  the  Saints.  The  con- 
gregation sang  with  an  energy  and  enthusiasm  which  made 
the  room  shake  again.  Self  and  the  outer  world  were  alike 
forgotten,  and  an  ecstacy  of  rapture  seemed  to  possess  the 


souls  of  all  present.  Then  all  kneeled  down,  and  prayer  was 
offered  for  the  Prophet,  the  apostles,  high-priests,  "seven- 
ties," elders,  priests,  teachers,  and  deacons  ;  blessings  were 
invoked  upon  the  Saints,  and  power  to  convert  the  Gentiles  ; 
and  as  the  earnest  words  of  supplication  left  the  speaker's 
lips,  the  congregation  shouted  a  loud  "Amen." 

There  was  no  prepared  sermon.  There  never  is  at  a  Mor- 
mon meeting.  The  people  are  taught  that  the  Holy  Ghost  is 
"  mouth,  matter,  and  wisdom."  Whatever  the  preaching  elder 
may  say  is  supposed  to  come  directly  by  inspiration  from 
heaven,  and  the  Saints  listening,  as  they  believe,  not  to  his 
utterances  but  to  the  words  of  God  Himself,  have  nothing  to 
do  but  to  hear  and  obey. 

The  first  speaker  on  this  occasion  was  a  young  gentleman 
of  respectable  family,  who  had  been  recently  baptized  and 
ordained.  He,  too,  was  from  St,  Heliers,  and  I  had  known 
him  from  childhood.  His  address  impressed  me  very  much. 
He  had  been  a  member  of  the  Baptist  church,  and  he  related 
his  experience,  told  how  often  he  had  wondered  why  there 
were  not  inspired  men  to  preach  the  glad  tidings  of  salvation 
to  the  world  to-day,  as  there  were  eighteen  centuries  ago. 
He  spoke  of  the  joy  which  he  had  experienced  in  being  bap- 
tized into  the  Mormon  Church  and  realising  that  he  had 
received  the  "gift  of  the  Holy  Ghost."  The  simplicity  with 
which  he  spoke,  his  evident  honesty,  and  the  sacrifice  he  had 
made  in  leaving  the  respectable  Baptists  and  joining  the 
despised  Mormons,  were,  I  thought,  so  many  evidences  of  his 

Alas  !  how  little  could  that  young  preacher  conjecture  how 
different  the  practical  Mormonism  in  Utah  was  from  the 
theoretical  Mormonism  which  he  had  learned  to  believe  in 
Europe,  before  polygamy  was  known  among  the  Saints.  A 
short  time  afterwards  he  gave  up  his  business,  married  an 
accomplished  young  lady,  and  went  with  her  to  Salt  Lake 
City.  There  they  were  soon  utterly  disgusted  with  what  they 
witnessed,  apostatized,  and  set  out  for  England.  When  they 
had  gone  three-fourths  of   their  way  back  to  the   Missouri 

"A    CERTAIN    ELDER.  47 

river,  the  young  man,  his  wife,  child,  and  another  apostate 
and  his  wife,  were  killed  by  "Indians:" — such,  at  least,  was 
the  report ;  but  dissenting  Mormons  have  always  charged 
their  "  taking  off "  to  the  order  of  the  leaders  of  the  Mormon 

But  to  return  to  the  meeting.  The  reader  must  please  for- 
give me  if  I  dwell  a  little  upon  the  events  of  that  particular 
morning,  for  naturally  they  made  a  deep  impression  upon  my 
own  mind — it  was  there  that  I  saw  for  the  first  time  my  hus- 
band who  was  to  be. 

I  had  heard  a  good  deal  about  a  certain  elder,  from  my  fam- 
ily and  from  the  Saints  who  visited  at  our  house.  They  spoke 
with  great  enthusiasm  of  the  earnestness  with  which  he 
preached,  of  the  influence  which  his  addresses  produced,  and 
of  his  confidence  in  the  final  triumph  of  "  the  kingdom." 

At  that  time — the  summer  of  1849 — although  the  branch 
of  the  Mormon  Church  in  Britain  was  in  a  most  flourishing 
condition,  there  were  not  in  England  more  than  two  or  three 
American  elders  preaching  the  faith,  for  when — two  years 
before  the  period  of  which  I  speak — the  Saints  left  Nauvoo 
and  undertook  that  most  extraordinary  exodus  across  the 
plains  to  the  Rocky  Mountains,  the  missionary  elders  were  all 
called  home,  and  the  work  of  proselytizing  in  Europe  was  left 
entirely  to  the  native  elders.  To  direct  their  labors  there  was 
placed  over  them  an  American  elder  named  Orson  Spencer,  a 
graduate  of  Dartmouth  University,  a  scholar  and  a  gentle- 
man— a  man  well  calculated  from  his  previous  Christian 
education  to  give  an  elevated  tone  to  the  teachings  of  the 
young  English  missionaries. 

Mormonism  in  England,  then,  had  no  resemblance  to  the 
Mormonism  of  Utah  to-day.  The  Mormons  were  then  sim- 
ply an  earnest  religious  people,  in  many  respects  like  the 
Methodists,  especially  in  their  missionary  zeal  and  fervor  of 
spirit.  The  Mormon  Church  abroad  was  purely  a  religious 
institution,  and  Mormonism  was  preached  by  the  elders  as  the 
gospel  of  Christianity  restored.  The  church  had  no  political 
shaping  nor  the  remotest  antagonism  to  the  civil  power.    The 


name  of  Joseph  Smith  was  seldom  spoken,  and  still  more 
seldom  was  heard  the  name  of  Brigham  Young,  and  then 
only  so  far  as  they  had  reference  to  the  Church  of  the  Saints. 

About  eighteen  months  before  I  visited  Southampton,  one 
of  these  missionaries  had  come  into  that  town,  "  without 
purse  or  scrip."  .He  was  quite  a  young  man  and  almost  pen- 
niless, but  he  was  rich  in  faith  and  overflowing  with  zeal.  He 
knew  no  one  there,  and  homeless,  and  frequently  hungry,  he 
continued  his  labors.  Of  fasting  he  knew  much,  of  feasting 
nothing.  He  first  preached  under  the  branches  of  a  spread- 
ing beech  tree  in  a  public  park,  and  when  more  favored  he 
held  forth  in  a  school-room  or  public  hall.  He  had  come  to 
convert  the  people  to  Mormonism  or  he  was  going  to  die 
among  them,  and  before  such  zeal  and  determination,  discour- 
agements, of  course,  soon  vanished  away.  He  troubled  the 
ministers  of  other  dissenting  churches  when  they  found  him 
distributing  tracts  and  talking  to  their  people.  He  was  sow- 
ing broadcast  dissatisfaction  and  discontent  wherever  he  could 
get  any  one  to  listen  to  him,  and  thus  he  drew  down  upon 
himself  the  eloquence  of  the  dissenting  pulpits  and  the  deri- 
sion of  the  local  press.  But  the  more  they  attacked  him  the 
more  zealously  did  he  labor,  and  defied  his  opponents  to 
public  discussion.  Mormonism  was  bold  then  in  Europe — it 
had  no  American  history  to  meet  in  those  days. 

This,  and  a  great  deal  more,  I  had  heard  discussed  in  glow- 
ing language  by  my  relatives  and  friends  ;  and  thus  the  young 
missionary — Elder  Stenhouse — was,  by  name,  no  stranger  to 

It  was  Elder  Stenhouse  who  now  addressed  the  meeting, 
and  I  listened  to  him  with  attention.  The  reader  must 
remember  that  at  that  time  polygamy  was  unheard  of  as  a 
doctrine  of  the  Saints,  and  the  blood-atonement,  the  doctrine 
that  Adam  is  God,  together  with  the  polytheism  and  priestly 
theocracy  of  after  years  were  things  undreamed  of.  The 
saving  love  of  Christ,  the  glory  and  fulness  of  the  everlast- 
ing Gospel,  the  gifts  and  graces  of  the  Spirit,  together  with 
repentance,  baptism,  and  faith,  were  the  points  upon  which 


the  Mormon  teachers  touched  ;  and  who  can  wonder  that 
with  such  topics  as  these,  and  fortifying  every  statement  with 
powerful  and  numerous  texts  of  Scripture,  they  should  capti- 
vate the  minds  of  religiously  inclined  people  ?  However  this 
may  be,  I  can  only  confess  that  as  I  listened  to  Elder  Sten- 
house's  earnest  discourse,  I  felt  my  antipathy  to  Mormonism 
rapidly  melting  away. 

At  the  close  of  the  service,  when  he  left  the  platform,  he 
was  warmly  received  by  the  brethren  and  sisters,  for  so  the 
Saints  speak  of  one  another,  and  they  came  about  him  to 
shake  hands,  or  it  might  be  to  seize  the  opportunity  of  slip- 
ping a  trifle  into  his  hand  to  help  him  in  his  work.  Young 
and  old,  the  poor  and  their  more  wealthy  neighbors  mingled 
together  like  one  happy  family.  It  was  altogether  a  most 
pleasing  scene,  and,  whatever  explanation  may  yet  be  given  to 
Mormonism  in  America,  one  thing  I  know — the  facts  of  its 
early  history  in  Europe  are  among  the  most  pleasant  reminis- 
cences of  my  life. 

Elder  Stenhouse  came  up  in  a  familiar  and  open-hearted 
way  to  my  mother  and  sisters,  and  I  was  introduced  to  him 
as  "  the  other  daughter  from  France."  He  kindly  welcomed 
me,  and  when  I  frankly  told  him  the  state  of  my  mind,  he 
made,  I  must  admit,  a  successful  attempt  to  solve  my  doubts, 
and  when  I  left  the  meeting  it  was  with  sentiments  towards 
the  saints  and  their  religion  far  different  from  those  which  I 
entertained  when  I  entered. 

This  meeting  was  a  memorable  era  in  my  life. 



A  Confirmation  Meeting — The  Age  for  Baptism — How  Sister  Martha  was  Con- 
firmed— How  Mormon  Saints  are  "  Blessed  " — The  Spirit  of  Prophecy — A 
Lecture  by  Elder  Stenhouse — The  New  Gospel  Explained — A  Vision  of  Lat- 
ter-Day  Glory — How  I  was  Convinced — The  Finger  of  Destiny  draws  Me  On — 
A  Mormon  Baptism — I  Become  a  Member  of  the  Church — I  am  Baptized, 
Confirmed,  and  Blessed — I  begin  a  New  Life — A  Happy  Dream  of  Missionary 
Usefulness — I  begin  Work  with  Enthusiasm — Methodism  and  Mormonism 
Compared — How  Converts  are  made  —  Religious  Revivals  —  The  Anxious 
Seats — A  Testimony  Meeting — How  Brigham  Young  has  Damped  the  Ardor 
of  the  Saints — Magical  Effects  of  an  Elder's  Speech — The  Mormon  Marseil- 
laise— Effects  of  Song  upon  Religious  Feeling. 

IN  the  afternoon  I  attended  a  meeting  of  a  still  more  inter- 
esting character.  These  Sunday  afternoon  meetings  were 
held  for  the  purpose  of  receiving  the  sacrament,  and  the  con- 
firmation of  those  who  had  been  baptized  during  the  week  ; 
they  were  intended  exclusively  for  the  Saints,  but  for  certain 
reasons  I  was  permitted  to  be  present. 

The  meeting  was  opened  with  singing  and  prayer,  and  then 
the  presiding  Elder — Brother  Cowdy — arose,  and  invited  all 
those  who  had  been  baptized  during  the  week  to  come  to  the 
front  seats.  Several  ladies  and  gentlemen  came  forward,  and 
also  three  little  children.  Upon  inquiry  I  found  that  children 
of  eight  years  of  age  were  admitted  members  of  the  Church 
by  baptism — which  is  administered  by  immersion.  At  that 
age  they  are  supposed  to  understand  what  they  are  doing ;  but 
before  that,  if  of  Mormon  parents,  they  are  considered  mem- 
bers of  the  Church  by  virtue  of  the  blessing  which  they  re- 


ceived  in  infancy.  Brother  Cowdy — the  presiding  elder — 
then  called  upon  two  other  elders  to  assist  him  in  the  confirm- 

One  of  the  ladies  took  off  her  bonnet  but  retained  her  seat, 
when  all  three  of  the  Elders  placed  their  hands  upon  her  head, 
and  one  of  them  said  : — 

"  Martha  ;  by  virtue  of  the  authority  vested  in  us,  we  confirm  you  a  member 
of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day  Saints ;  and  as  you  have  been 
obedient  to  the  teachings  of  the  Elders,  and  have  gone  down  into  the  waters  of 
baptism  for  the  remission  of  your  sins,  we  confer  upon  you  the  Gift  of  the  Holy 
Ghost,  that  it  may  abide  with  you  for  ever,  and  be  a  lamp  unto  your  feet  and  a 
light  upon  your  pathway,  leading  and  guiding  you  into  all  truth.  This  blessing 
we  confirm  upon  your  head,  in  the  name  of  the  Father,  and  of  the  Son,  and  of 
the  Holy  Ghost.     Amen." 

Then,  before  they  took  their  hands  off  her  head,  the  presid- 
ing Elder  asked  the  other  two  if  they  wished  to  say  anything. 
Whereupon  one  of  them  began  to  invoke  a  blessing  upon  the 
newly-confirmed  sister.  He  spoke  for  some  time  with  extreme 
earnestness,  when  suddenly  he  was  seized  with  a  nervous  tremb- 
ling which  was  quite  perceptible,  and  which  evidently  betokened 
intense  mental  or  physical  excitement.  He  began  to  prophesy 
great  things  for  this  sister  in  the  future,  and  in  solemn  and  mys- 
terious language  proclaimed  the  wonders  which  God  would  per- 
form for  her  sake.  When  we  consider  the  excited  state  of  her 
mind,  and — if  the  statements  of  psychologists  be  true — the 
magnetic  currents  which  were  being  transmitted  from  the 
sensitive  nature  of  the  man  into  the  excited  brain  of  the  new 
convert,  together  with  the  pressure  of  half  a  dozen  human 
hands  upon  her  head,  it  is  not  at  all  astonishing  that  when  the 
hands  were  lifted  off  she  should  firmly  believe  that  she  had 
been  blessed  indeed.  She  had  been  told  that  she  should 
receive  the  Gift  of  the  Holy  Ghost ;  and  she  did  not  for  an 
instant  doubt  that  her  expectations  had  been  realized. 

Each  of  the  newly  baptized  went  through  the  same  cere- 
mony, and  then  they  all  partook  of  the  sacrament,  when,  after 
another  hymn,  the  meeting  was  closed  with  prayer. 

In  the  evening  I  returned  to  listen  to  a  lecture  upon  "  the 
character,  spirit,  and  genius"  of  the  new  church,  delivered  by 


Elder  Stenhouse ;  and  I  was  captivated  by  the  picture  which 
he  drew  of  the  marvellous  latter-day  work  which  he  affirmed 
had  already  begun.  The  visions  of  by-gone  ages  were  again 
vouchsafed  to  men ;  angels  had  visibly  descended  to  earth  ; 
God  had  raised  up  in  a  mighty  way  a  Prophet,  as  of  old,  to 
preach  the  dispensation  of  the  last  days  ;  gifts  of  prophecy, 
healing,  and  the  working  of  miracles  were  now,  as  in  the  days 
of  the  Apostles,  witnesses  to  the  power  of  God.  The  long-lost 
tribes  of  Israel  were  about  to  be  gathered  into  the  one  great 
fold  of  Christ ;  and  the  fulness  of  the  Gentiles  being  come, 
they,  too,  were  to  be  taken  under  the  care  of  the  Good  Shep- 
herd. All  were  freely  invited  to  come  and  cast  away  their 
sins,  ere  it  was  too  late ;  and  the  fullest  offers  of  pardon,  grace, 
sanctification  and  blessing,  in  this  world  and  in  the  next,  were 
presented  to  every  repentant  soul. 

Surely,  I  thought,  these  are  the  selfsame  doctrines  which 
my  mother  taught  me  when  I  knelt  beside  her  in  childhood, 
and  which  I  have  so  often  heard — only  in  colder  and  less  per- 
suasive language — urged  from  the  pulpits  of  those  whom  I 
have  ever  regarded  in  the  light  of  true  disciples  of  Jesus.  Who 
can  wonder  that  I  listened  with  rapt  attention,  and  that  my 
heart  was  even  then  half  won  to  the  new  faith .-'  The  days 
passed  ;  and  as  I  pondered  over  these  things  it  appeared  to  me 
that  I  had  at  last  found  that  which  I  had  so  long  earnestly 
desired  and  prayed  for — a  knowledge  of  that  true  religion  for 
which  the  Saviour  presented  Himself  a  Holy  Sacrifice,  and 
which  the  Apostles  preached  at  peril  of  their  lives — the  only 
faith,  in  which  I  might  find  joy  and  peace  in  believing. 

But  why  should  I  dwell  upon  those  moments,  soul-absorbing 
as  was  their  interest  to  me  then — sadly-pleasing  as  is  their 
memory  noiv  !  The  reader  can  see  the  drift  of  my  thoughts 
at  that  time ;  and  I  feel  sure,  although  I  have  but  hastily 
sketched  the  causes  which  brought  about  these  great  changes 
in  my  religious  belief  and  in  my  life,  that  he  will  not  hastily 
accuse  me  of  fickleness  and  love  of  change,  if  he  himself  has 
fought  the  battles  of  the  soul  and  has  learned  even  in  a  slight 
measure  to  realize  the  mystery  of  his  inner-being. 

I    AM    BAPTISED    A    MORMON    SAINT.  53 

Each  day  the  finger  of  destiny  drew  me  nearer  to  the  final 
step.  The  young  Elder,  whose  words  I  had  listened  to  with 
such  strange  and,  to  me,  momentous  results,  was  intimate  with 
my  father's  family  and  called  frequently  to  see  us,  and  before 
long  he  convinced  me  that  it  was  my  duty  to  test  for  myself 
whether  the  work  was  of  God,  or  not.  In  the  agitated  state 
of  my  mind  at  that  time,  I  could  not  withstand  the  earnest 
appeals  which  were  made  to  my  affections  and  hopes  ;  and 
within  two  weeks  after  my  arrival  in  England,  I  became  form- 
ally a  member  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day 
Saints ;  or  in  more  popular  language — I  became  a  Mormon. 

The  day  was  fixed  for  my  baptism.  Several  others  were  to 
be  baptized  at  the  same  time  ;  for  scarcely  a  week  passed  with- 
out quite  a  number  of  persons  joining  the  church.  For  this 
purpose  we  all  repaired  to  a  bath-house  on  the  banks  of  the 
Southampton  river.  This  place  was  not  perhaps  the  most 
convenient,  and  it  certainly  was  devoid  of  the  slightest  tinge 
of  romance ;  but  it  was  the  only  one  available  to  the  saints  at 
that  time. 

When  we  were  all  assembled  and  had  united  in  singing  and 
prayer,  Elder  Stenhouse  went  down  into  the  water  first,  and 
then  two  men  went  down  and  were  baptized,  and  came  up 
again.  Now  came  my  turn.  I  was  greatly  agitated,  for  I  felt 
all  the  solemnity  of  the  occasion.  I  had  dressed  myself  very 
neatly  and  purely,  for  I  believed  that  angel  eyes  were  upon 
me ;  I  wished  to  give  myself — a  perfect  and  acceptable  offer- 
ing— to  my  God,  and  I  was  filled  with  the  determination  hence* 
forth  to  devote  my  whole  life  to  his  service. 

As  I  went  down  into  the  waters  of  baptism,  how  thankful  I 
felt  that  it  had  been  my  privilege  to  hear  the  gospel  in  my 
youth,  for  now  I  could  give  my  heart  in  all  its  freshness  to  the 
Lord,  before  it  had  been  chilled  by  the  cold,  hard  experience 
of  life.* 

I  descended  the  steps,  and  Elder  Stenhouse  came  forward 
and  led  me  out  into  the  water ;  then  taking  both  my  hands  in 
one  of  his,  he  raised  his  other  hand  towards  heaven,  and  in  a 
solemn  and  impressive  voice  he  said : 


"  Fanny  ;  by  virtite  of  the  authority  vested  in  me,  I  baptize  you  for  the  remission 
of  your  Slits ;  in  the  name  of  the  Father,  and  of  the  Son,  and  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 

Then  he  immersed  me  in  the  water;  and  as  I  reascended 
the  steps,  I  really  felt  like  another  being :  all  my  past  was 
buried  in  the  deep — the  waters  of  baptism  had  washed  away 
my  sins ;  and  a  new  life  lay  open  before  me,  in  which  my  foot- 
steps would  be  guided  by  the  inspired  servants  of  God.  All 
now  would  be  peace  and  joy  within  me,  for  I  had  obeyed  the 
commands  of  God,  and  I  doubted  not  that  I  should  receive  the 
promised  blessing,  and  that  now  I  could  indeed  go  on  my  way 

My  baptism  took  place  one  Saturday  afternoon,  and  the 
afternoon  following  I  was  confirmed  a  member  of  the  church. 
Elder  Stenhouse  presided  at  the  meeting,  and  he,  with  Elder 
Cowdy  and  two  other  elders,  confirmed  me.  As  the  "  bless-- 
ing"  which  I  then  myself  received  differs  somewhat  from  the 
one  which  I  have  already  given,  and  as  it  is  a  very  fair  speci- 
men of  those  effusions,  I  present  it  to  the  reader  in  full. 

Elder  Stenhouse,  Elder  Cowdy,  and  the  two  other  elders, 
placed  their  hands  solemnly  upon  my  head,  and  Elder  Sten- 
house said  : — 

"  Fanny  ;  by  virtue  of  the  authority  vested  in  me,  I  confirm  you  a  member 
of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day  Saints  ;  and  inasmuch  as  you  have 
been  obedient  to  the  command  of  God,  through  his  servants,  and  have  been  bap- 
tized for  the  remission  of  your  sins,  I  say  unto  you  that  those  sins  are  remitted. 
And  in  the  name  of  God  I  bless  you,  and  say  unto  you,  that  inasmuch  as  you  are 
faithful  and  obedient  to  teachings  of  the  priesthood,  and  seek  the  advancement  of 
the  kingdom,  there  is  no  good  thing  that  your  heart  can  desire  that  the  Lord  will 
not  give  unto  you.  You  shall  have  visions  and  dreams,  and  angels  shall  visit  you 
by  day  and  by  night.  You  shall  stand  in  the  temple  in  Zion,  and  administer  to  the 
Saints  of  the  Most  High  God.  You  shall  speak  in  tongues,  and  prophesy ;  and 
the  Lord  shall  bless  you  abundantly,  both  temporally  and  spiritually.  These 
blessings  I  seal  upon  your  head,  inasmuch  as  you  shall  be  faithful  ;  and  I  pray 
heaven  to  bless  you  ;  and  say  unto  you — Be  thou  blessed,  in  the  name  of  the  Fa- 
ther, and  of  the  Son,  and  of  the  Holy  Ghost.     Amen." 

After  the  meeting,  I  received  the  congratulations  of  all  the 
Saints  present,  and  more  particularly  those  of  my  own  family. 
My  dear  mother  and  father  were  overjoyed,  and  I  now  learned 
how  anxious  they  had  been,  and  how  they  had  feared  that  I 


should  return  to  France  and  reject  the  faith  of  the  new  dis- 
pensation.    Altogether  we  were  very  happy. 

Elder  Stenhouse  and  Elder  Cowdy  returned  home  with  us 
to  tea,  and  afterwards  we  all  attended  the  usual  evening 
lecture.  In  this  way  was  passed  one  of  the  happiest  days  of 
my  life — one  which  I  shall  ever  remember  ; — and  yet  that 
memory  will  always  be  mingled  with  regret  that  so  much  love 
and  devotion  as  I  then  felt  were  not  enlisted  in  a' better  cause. 

Thus  began  a  new  era  in  my  life.  All  my  former  friends 
and  associations  were  now  to  be  remembered  no  more :  my 
lot  was  cast  among  the  Saints  ;  and  in  the  state  of  my  mind 
at  that  time,  I  believed  that  I  should  be  happy  in  my  new 
position,  and  resolved  to  give  evidence  of  the  sincerity  of  my 

The  untiring  energy  and  restless  activity  of  Elder  Sten- 
house was  ever  before  our  eyes,  and  inspired  all  who  associ- 
ated with  him  with  a  similar  enthusiasm.  There  were  no 
drones  in  that  hive.  The  brethren,  at  a  word  from  him, 
would  roam  the  country,  teaching  and  preaching  in  the  open 
air,  while  the  sisters  would  go  from  house  to  house  in  the 
city,  distributing  tracts  about  the  new  faith.  I  caught  the 
enthusiasm  of  the  rest,  and  was  soon  in  the  ranks  with  the 
other  sisters,  as  devoted  in  my  endeavors  as  a  young,  ambitious 
heart  could  be.  I  was  indeed  like  one  born  again  from  an  old 
existence  into  a  new  life.  I  felt  grateful  and  happy — I 
began  to  dream  of  the  eternal  honor  which  crowns  a  faifliful 
missionary  life  ;  and  I  soon  found  an  ample  field  for  testing 
my  fitness  for  that  vocation. 

At  the  time  of  which  I  speak,  the  Primitive  Methodists  in 
England  were  doing  a  great  work  in  the  way  of  converting 
sinners.  Their  missionaries  were  zealous  and  devoted  men, 
though  generally  poor  and  uneducated.  They  resembled  very 
closely  the  Mormon  elders  in  their  labors  ;  and,  in  fact,  a  very 
large  number  of  the  leading  Mormons  had  been  Methodist 
local-preachers  and  exhortcrs ;  and  the  greater  number  of  the 
new-born  Saints  had  come  from  that  denomination  with  their 
former  teachers,  or  else  had  followed  them  soon  after. 


The  change  from  Methodist  to  Mormon  was,  in  course  of 
time,  very  strongly  marked  ;  but  for  a  considerable  period  the 
same,  or  what  seemed  the  same,  influences  were  at  work 
among  the  people.  Remarkable  scenes  of  excitement  were 
often  witnessed  at  the  "  love  feasts  ; "  and  from  the  "  anxious 
seats,"  as  they  were  called,  might  be  heard,  the  entreaties  of 
self-accusing  souls,  frightened  by  a  multitude  of  sins,  crying 
earnestly,  nay,  wildly,  for  grace,  mercy,  and  the  Holy  Ghost, 
while  many  of  the  supplicants  would  fall  upon  the  ground, 
completely  overcome  by  nervous  excitement.  Then  they 
would  have  visions,  and  beheld  great  and  unutterable  things  ; 
received  the  forgiveness  of  their  sins  ;  and,  coming  back  to 
consciousness,  believed  themselves  now  to  be  the  children  of 
God,  and  new  creatures  ;  doubting  not  that  they  would  ever 
after  be  happy  in  the  Lord. 

The  experience  of  the  Saints  at  their  meetings,  when 
Mormonism  was  first  preached,  was  exactly  similar  to  this. 
Into  the  psychological,  moral,  or  religious  causes  of  these 
scenes  of  excitement  I  cannot  here  enter  ; — I  simply  mention 
facts  as  they  came  under  my  own  observation. 

The  Mormon  Missionary  often  came  upon  whole  communi- 
ties in  the  rural  districts  of  England,  where  this  "  good  time  " 
was  in  full  operation  ;  and  being  a  man  of  texts  he  would 
follow  up  the  revival,  preaching  that  the  spirit  of  the  prophet 
was  subject  to  the  prophet,  and  not  the  prophet  subject  to  the 
spirit.  Controversy  would  arise,  and  his  appeal  to  Scripture, 
literally  interpreted,  was  almost  invariably  triumphant.  Even 
in  this  country,  especially  in  New  York  and  Ohio,  the  same 
causes  produced  the  same  effects.  It  was  after  his  mind  was 
excited  by  a  general  revival  near  his  native  place,  that  Joseph 
Smith,  the  founder  of  Mormonism,  received  his  first  religious 
impression,  and  saw,  as  he  asserted,  his  first  angelic  vision. 
His  followers,  even  in  the  early  days  of  the  church,  had 
revival-meetings  and  meetings  at  which  the  most  extraordin- 
ary excitement  was  manifested, — when  the  Saints  fell  into 
ecstatic  trances,  saw  heaven  opened,  and  spake  with  tongues. 
But  Joseph,  shrewd  man  as  he  was,  albeit  "  a  prophet,"  when 


he  found  too  many  rival  seers  were  coming  into  the  field, 
announced  by  "  special  revelation,"  that  these  too-gifted  per- 
sons were  possessed  by  devils,  and  that  their  visions  and 
prophecyings  must  be  at  once  suppressed.  And  he  did  sup- 
press them. 

Not  long  after  my  own  baptism  I  was  present  at  a  meeting 
of  this  description,  in  Southampton.  It  was  called  a  "  testi- 
mony meeting,"  and  was  held  in  a  large  upper  room  situated, 
if  I  rightly  remember,  in  Chandos  street.  No  one  from  the 
outside  would  have  supposed  that  it  was  the  place  of  assembly 
of  the  Saints,  for  it  was  generally  used  for  ordinary  secular 
meetings,  and  I  have  heard  that  great  objections  were  at  first 
raised  as  to  the  propriety  of  letting  it  to  the  Mormons. 

As  we  entered  the  door,  we  were  saluted  by  Brother 
Williams,  who  expressed  great  pleasure  at  seeing  us.  There 
was  a  full  attendance  of  the  Saints,  and  every  face  wore  an 
expression  of  peaceful  earnestness.  A  person  who  has  never 
attended  a  Mormon  meeting  can  form  no  idea  of  the  joyous 
spirit  which  seemed  to  animate  every  one  present.  I  am  not, 
of  course,  speaking  of  modern  meetings,  but  of  meetings  as 
they  used  to  be.  Whence  and  whatever  that  "  spirit "  might 
be  which  moved  the  sisters  and  brethren  when  they  met  in 
early  times,  I  cannot  tell ;  but  I,  and  with  me,  ten  thousand 
Mormons  and  seceding  Mormons  in  Utah,  can,  from  our  own 
experience,  testify  that  tJiat  spirit  no  longer  visits  the  Taber- 
nacle services  over  which  Brigham  Young  presides,  or  the 
meetings  of  the  Saints  since  they  adopted  the  accursed 
doctrine  of  polygamy,  and  forsook  the  gentle  leadings  of  their 
first  love. 

Often  have  I  heard  Mormons  of  good  standing  and  high 
position  in  the  church,  lament  the  "  good  old  times  "  as  they 
called  them,  when  the  outpouring  of  the  Spirit  was  so  abund- 
ant, and  mourn  over  the  cold,  barren  services  of  the  present 
day.  But  the  elders  explain  this  away.  It  is,  they  say,  the 
fault  of  the  people  themselves,  and  because  their  own  hearts 
have  become  cold. 

At  the  meeting  of  which  I  speak,  that  happy  spirit  was 

58  SAINTS    AT    work:— A    TESTIMONY    MEETING. 

peculiarly  marked.  An  encouraging  smile,  or  a  kind  word, 
greeted  mc  on  every  side,  and,  as  a  newly  converted  sister,  I 
received  the  most  cordial  welcome.  The  brethren  were  seated 
on  forms  and  chairs  and  any  other  convenient  article  which 
came  to  hand,  while  at  the  further  end  of  the  room  was 
Brother  Bench,  who  was  to  preside,  and  with  him  several 
other  leading  elders.  Brother  Bench  gave  out  a  suitable 

The  whole  congregation  joined  in  the  singing,  and  every 
heart  seemed  lifted  up  with  devotion.  Then  another  elder 
rose  and  offered  a  spirit-moving  prayer ;  and  then  the  brother 
who  presided  stated  that  for  the  time  he  withdrew  his  control 
of  the  proceedings,  and,  as  the  phrase  was,  he  "  put  the  meet- 
ing in  the  hands  of  the  Saints,"  exhorting  them  not  to  let  the 
time  pass  by  unimproved. 

There  was  at  first  a  momentary  hesitation,  but  Brother 
Burton  got  up  and  fixed  the  hearts  of  the  Saints  by  relating 
what  the  Lord  had  done  for  him.  He  told  us  of  his  zeal  for 
the  faith,  and  how,  during  the  week,  he  had  had  a  terrible 
discussion  with  an  unbeliever — a  clever  and  learned  man,  too, 
and  well  skilled  in  dialectics — how  he  trembled  at  first  at  the 
idea  of  contesting  with  such  an  antagonist,  but  that  the  Lord 
had  helped  him,  until  argument  after  argument  had  been 
overthrown  and  he  had  come  off  victor  in  the  fight.  Then 
appealing  to  every  one  present  he  exhorted  them  to  similar 
zeal,  and  promised  them  abundant  help  from  on  high  to 
achieve  a  like  result. 

Then  arose  Brother  Edwards,  a  well-tried  champion  of  the 
faith,  and  to  him  every  one  listened  with  profound  attention, 
eagerly  drinking  in  his  every  utterance.  I  could  almost,  even 
now,  imagine  that  he  was  really  inspired.  TJicn  I  firmly 
believed  he  was.  His  voice  thrilled  with  an  earnestness 
which  seemed  to  us  something  more  than  the  rhere  excite- 
ment of  the  soul.  A  burning  fire  seemed  to  flash  from  his 
large,  expressive  eyes  ;  his  features  were  lighted  up  with  that 
animation  which  gives  a  saint-like  halo  to  the  earnest  face 
when  fired  with  indignation  or  pleading  soul-felt  truths  ;  while 


his  whole  frame  seemed  to  glow  with  the  glory  of  a  land 
beyond  this  earth,  as  in  the  most  impressive  and  convincing 
lansuag-e  he  reminded  us  that  our  sins  had  been  washed 
away  by  the  waters  of  baptism,  that  upon  us  had  been  poured 
the  gifts  and  graces  of  the  Spirit,  and  that  it  was  our  sacred 
privilege  to  testify  of  these  things. 

The  effect  of  this  exhortation  was  magical.  We  forgot  all 
our  outward  surroundings,  in  the  realisation  that  the  great 
work  of  the  Lord  was  so  gloriously  begun  and  that  it  would 
surely  go  on,  conquering  and  to  conquer.  One  sister — an 
elderly  woman — who  was  present,  unable  to  control  her  emo- 
tion, burst  out  with  that  Mormon  hymn  which  I  have  heard 
some  old  Nauvoo  Saints  declare  produced  upon  the  people 
in  those  days  an  enthusiasm  similar  to  that  which  moves  the 
heart  of  every  true  Frenchman  when  he  listens  to  the  soul- 
stirring  notes  of  the  Marseillaise  : 

The  Spirit  of  God  like  a  fire  is  burning  ! 

The  latter-day  glory  begins  to  come  forth; 
The  visions  and  blessings  of  old  are  returning, 

The  angels  are  coming  to  visit  the  earth. 
We'll  sing  and  we'll  shout  with  the  armies  of  heaven 

Hosannah  !   Hosannah,  to  God  and  the  Lamb  ! 
All  glory  to  them  in  the  highest  be  given, 

Henceforth  and  for  ever  :  Amen,  and  Amen  ! 

I  have  often  heard  in  magnificent  cathedrals,  hoary  with 
the  dust  of  time,  and  in  vast  places  of  amusement  dedicated 
specially  to  music  and  to  song,  the  outpouring  of  that  glorious 
vocal  flood,  which  a  chorus  of  a  thousand  well-trained  singers 
can  alone  send  forth.  I  have  felt  sometimes  that  entrancing 
state  of  ecstacy  which  thrilled  the  soul  of  the  seer  in  Patmos, 
as  he  listened  to  the  melody  of  the  angelic  throng — "the 
voice  of  many  waters,  and  the  peal  of  mighty  thunders,  and 
the  notes  of  harpers  harping  upon  their  harps  ; "  but  never, 
even  when  surrounded  by  all  that  was  best  calculated  to 
produce  a  sentiment  of  devotion  in  my  mind — never  did  I 
experience  so  rapt  a  feeling  of  communion  with  "  the  armies 
of  heaven  " — as  I  felt  in  that  unadorned  meeting-room  sur- 
rounded by  those  plain  but  earnest  and  united  people. 

60  THE    UNISON    OF    RELIGION    AND    SONG. 

Nor  was  I  alone  in  this.  The  feehng  was  contagious. 
There  was  not  one  present  who  did  not  sympathise.  And 
thus,  I  suppose,  melody  has  always  played  a  prominent  part 
in  all  religious  revivals,  whether  of  divine  or  human  origin. 
The  Apostles  had  their  psalms,  and  hymns,  and  spiritual 
songs  ;  the  Martyrs  their  Te  Deinn  ;  the  Waldenses  made  the 
hills  and  vales  of  Piedmont  vocal  with  their  singing ;  the 
Lollards  and  Hussites  had  their  melodies ;  and  in  more 
modern  days  the  followers  of  Luther,  Wesley,  and  (may  I 
add  T)  Joseph  Smith,  have  poured  out  the  fulness  of  their 
souls  after  the  same  fashion. 

The  last  notes  of  the  hymn  had  scarcely  died  away  when 
another,  and  then  another  brother  arose  and  bore  testimony 
to  the  great  work,  told  what  the  Lord  had  done  for  them 
personally,  told  of  their  zeal  for  the  faith,  and  fervently 
exhorted  all  present  to  persevere  unto  the  end.  Again  prayer 
was  offered,  another  hymn  sung,  and  the  Saints  were  dis- 
missed with  a  solemn  benediction. 



Beginning  Life  as  a  Mormon — Breaking  Way  from  the  Past — My  Friends  iu 
France — Placed  in  a  Difficult  Position — I  Remember  my  Betrothed — Exclu- 
siveness  of  my  New  Faith — An  "  Apostle  "  lays  down  the  Law — How  to  Keep 
aloof  from  the  Gentiles — Woman's  Duty — "  The  Foundation  of  a  Little  Family 
Kingdom  " — The  "  Gift  of  Tongues  "  in  Modern  Days — An  Extraordinary 
Meeting — Sister  Ellis  exercises  her  "  Gift," — Need  of  an  Interpreter — Emo- 
tional Religion — How  Brother  Brigham  once  "  Spake  in  Tongues  " — A  "High 
time"  at  Kirtland  in  the  days  of  Joseph — A  Scene  in  the  Lion  House — One  of 
the  Prophet's  Wives  "  Speaks  " — Another  Wife  Interprets — I  Receive  a  Bless- 
ing— Brother  Young  Discountenances  the  "Gift" — Only  half  Convinced — "To 
Doubt  is  Sin  " — I  Arrive  at  an  Important  Conclusion — I  instruct  Elder  Sten- 
house  in  the  French  Language — An  Interesting  Pupil — Declining  the  verb 
yAime — Studies  in  the  Back  Parlor — A  Persevering  Young  Man — Why  I 
listened  to  Elder  Stenhouse's  Suit — I  am  Engaged  to  Him — I  become  a  Mis- 
sionary's Wife — I  write  to  my  Friends  in  France — A  Free  Confession — Plea- 
sant Memories  of  the  Past. 

1WAS  now  a  Mormon  in  every  sense  of  the  word,  although 
entirely  ignorant  of  Utah  politics  and  polygamy. 
My  dreams  were  of  a  life  of  happiness  spent  in  seeking  to 
convert  the  whole  world  to  the  religion  of  Jesus,  which  I  be- 
lieved had  been  restored  again  to  earth  by  the  ministry  of 
holy  angels.  It  is  easy  to  say  that  such  an  ambition  was  ill* 
directed  when  associated  with  Mormonism,  but  no  one  can 
deny  that,  in  itself,  it  was  the  noblest  and  purest  that  could 
inspire  the  heart  of  man.  There  was  no  sacrifice  too  great 
for  me  to  make  ;  there  was  no  object  too  dear  for  me  to  re- 
sign, if  it  stood  in  the  way  of  my  sacred  calling.  The  whole 
current  of  my  thoughts  and  plans  was  now  changed.  It  was 
henceforth  my  duty  to  be  entirely  forgetful  of  self,  and  to  de- 
vote my  energies — my  all — to  the  advancement  of  the  King- 


dom  of  God.  My  life  was  to  be  identified  with  the  Saints, — 
my  faith  required  it,  and  I  was  willing  that  it  should  be  so. 

But  what  of  my  beloved  France,  all  this  time  ;  and  my  be- 
trothed husband  ? 

This  reflection  aroused  within  me  a  most  painful  train  of 
thought.  How  many  fond  and  endearing  memories  entwined 
themselves  around  my  heart  at  that  moment,  when  most  I 
needed  to  banish  them  for  ever  !  With  what  lingering  love 
did  I  look  back  to  those  dear  ones  from  whom  I  had  parted 
but  a  few  short  weeks  before,  and  who  I  might  perhaps  never 
see  again  !  To  return  would  be  to  desert  my  newly-adopted 
friends  and  faith — to  violate  the  covenant  which  I  had  made 
at  baptism  to  "  be  ever  afterwards  governed  by  the  servants 
of  God." 

No  ;  it  was  too  late — I  could  not  now  return  ; — I  tried  to 
persuade  myself  that  I  did  not  even  wish  to  ; — in  a  word, 
affection,  and  what  I  thought  duty,  were  at  war  together  in 
my  heart.  All  my  former  ties  and  associations  must  now  be 
severed,  however  terrible  the  cost  might  be  ;  and  I  was  bound 
not  only  to  submit,  but  even  to  glory  in  the  sacrifice. 
Thus  I  argued  away  the  regrets  which  would  at  times  agitate 
my  very  soul  itself,  and  caused  me  so  much  painful  thought. 

The  trial  of  my  profession  in  the  new  faith  came  swiftly  to 
my  door.  My  marriage-engagement  must  be  broken  off, 
though  I  knew  not  how  that  could  honorably  and  conscien- 
tiously be  done.  Of  myself  I  had  no  wish  to  draw  back  from 
anything  that  I  had  promised  of  my  own  free  will  ;  and  much 
less  did  I  desire  to  be  faithless  to  my  solemnly  plighted 

I  now  first  realised  the  all-absorbing  influence  of  an  earnest 
religious  faith.  I  was  brought  face  to  face  with  the  fact  that 
I  could  not  marry  out  of  the  Mormon  Church.  The  teaching 
of  the  elders  was  against  it,  and  I  saw  that  in  this  they  were 
consistent.  Great  as  was  the  trial,  and  painful  as  was  the 
sacrifice,  I  resolved  to  be  true  to  my  religion.  How  very 
earnestly  the  elders  insisted  upon  such  sacrifices,  may  be  seen 
from  an  appeal  made  at  a  later  date  by  the  "  Apostle  "  Orson 


AN    APOSTLE    LAYS    DOWN    THE    LAW.  65 

Pratt.  Brother  Orson  was  in  Europe,  and,  speaking  author- 
itatively, he  set  forth  the  duties  of  mothers  and  daughters  in 
"  Babylon,"  as  he  graciously  styled  the  rest  of  the  world,  in 
the  following  terms  which  unmistakably  show  the  purposes 
of  the  leaders  relative  to  marriage  : 

"  Many  of  you  have  daughters,  some  of  whom  are  grown  to  womanhood; 
others  are  now  young.  Would  you  have  them  gather  with  you  to  a  land  where 
virtue  and  peace  dwell,  where  God  has  promised  to  protect  and  bless  the  right- 
eous ?  If  so,  teach  them,  as  they  love  their  parents,  and  the  Saints,  and  the 
truth,  not  to  throw  themselves  away  by  marrying  Gentiles  ;  teach  them  to  keep 
themselves  entirely  aloof  from  Gentile  courtships  and  associations.  Scores  of 
women  who  once  were  counselled  as  you  are  now,  are  mourning  in  wretchedness, 
in  bondage  to  Gentile«husbands,  cut  off  from  all  privilege  of  gathering  with  their 
fathers,  mothers,  brethren,  and  sisters  ;  and,  in  some  instances,  cut  off  from 
even  attending  the  Saints'  meetings.  But  this  is  not  all.  They  are  raising  up 
children  in  these  lands  to  perish  with  themselves  in  the  general  desolations  com- 
ing upon  Babylon.  But  what  is  still  more  aggravating  and  heart-rending,  they 
are  raising  up  children  not  only  destined  for  temporal  judgments,  but  who  must 
for  ever  be  cut  off  from  the  presence  of  God  and  the  glory  of  the  celestial  king- 
dom *****  What  fearful  responsibility  for  any  young  sister  to  volun- 
tarily take  upon  herself,  after  all  the  warnings  she  has  received.  See  to  it, 
then,  parents,  that  you  not  only  do  not  give  your  consent,  but  actually  forbid  all 
such  marriages. 

*  *  *  *  #  * 

Let  them  marry  according  to  the  holy  order  of  God,  and  begin  to  lay  the 
foundation  of  a  little  family  kingdom  which  shall  no  more  be  scattered  upon  the 
face  of  the  earth,  but  dwell  in  one  country,  keeping  their  genealogies  from  gen- 
eration to  generation,  until  each  man's  house  shall  be  multiplied  as  the  stars  of 

These  were  the  influences  which  were  brought  to  bear  upon 
my  mind  at  a  time  when  it  was  peculiarly  sensitive  and  open 
to  impressions  from  without. 

While  in  this  uncertain  state  a  little  incident  occurred 
which,  though  in  itself  of  the  most  trifling  nature,  assisted  in 
forming  my  ultimate  decision. 

It  was  a  -beautiful  evening  in  early  summer,  and  my  mother 
and  sister  asked  me  to  accompany  them  to  one  of  the  testi- 
mony-meetings which  I  have  already  described.  This  meet- 
ing was  very  similar  to  the  others,  with  one  notable  excep- 
tion:— it  was  here  that  I  saw  and  heard,  for  the  first  time  in 
my  own  experience,  the  "  gift  of  tongues  "  exercised. 

66  THE    GIFT    OF    TONGUES. 

I  had,  of  course,  heard  a  great  deal  about  this  "  gift,"  much 
of  which  was  anything  but  satisfactory,  as  I  think  the  reader 
will  agree  with  me,  when  I  explain  myself, 

I  had  read  in  Scripture  that  the  Apostles  of  Jesus  Christ 
tarried  in  Jerusalem  until  the  day  of  Pentecost,  when  power 
was  given  them  from  on  high.  Being  all  together  in  one 
place,  engaged  in  earnest  supplication  and  the  praise  of  God, 
suddenly  the  building  in  which  they  were,  shook  to  its  very 
foundation,  and  the  sound  of  a  mighty,  rushing  wind  was 
heard,  and  the  Spirit  of  the  Eternal  One,  who,  ere  the  dawn- 
ing of  creation  moved  upon  the  waters  of  chaos,  descended  in 
visible  shape,  palpable  to  their  eyes  in  the  form  of  a  cloven 
tongue,  an  emblem  of  the  gift  of  eloquence  and  diversity  of 
speech  which  was  henceforth  to  be  theirs. 

Then  arose  Peter,  that  disciple  so  full  of  zeal.  Henceforth 
he  was  no  longer  to  be  called  a  disciple,  but  an  "  Apostle," 
which  by  interpretation  is  one  "  sent  forth  ;" — for  now  he  had 
received  his  commission,  and,  in  the  power  of  the  Highest,  he, 
with  the  other  Ambassadors  of  Jesus,  could  go  forth  upon 
their  glorious  work.  But  newly  pardoned  for  his  great  trans- 
gression, and  still  remembering  the  Saviour's  pit3'ing  look,  and 
the  thrice-repeated  question — "  Lovest  thou  Me  more  than 
these  .''" — burning,  also,  with  zeal  to  give  evidence  of  his  love 
— the  Leader  of  the  Apostles  addressed  the  multitude  gathered 
from  every  clime  to  keep  the  feast. 

Lo,  then,  a  miracle  !  The  Jew  of  Jerusalem  wondered  at 
the  wisdom  of  the  unlettered  Fisherman.  The  magi  from  the 
still  more  distant  Orient  were  amazed  to  hear  so  strange  a 
story.  The  Greek  paused  at  the  utterances  of  this  new  phil- 
osophy. But  strangest  of  all  was  the  fact  that,  though  utterly 
unable  to  comprehend  each  other's  speech,  they  all,  listening 
at  the  same  time,  could  understand  the  words  of  the  untaught 

Long  before  I  had  even  heard  of  Mormonism,  I  had  frequently 
thought  how  wonderfully  useful  this  gift  must  have  been  to  the 
Apostles.  One  of  the  great  difficulties  encountered  by  the 
missionary  is  learning  the  language  of  the  people  among  whom 

A   MODERN    ORACLE.  67 

he  works  and  lives.  To  be  able  to  dispense  with  all  this 
labor,  and  to  be  understood  wherever  he  went,  must  have 
lightened  the  mind  of  the  holy  man  of  half  its  load  ;  and 
naturally,  when  I  heard  that  the  Mormons  had  "  the  Gift  of 
Tongues,"  I  supposed  it  was  the  self-same  power  of  diverse 
speech  as  that  exercised  by  the  Apostles  ;  and  I  presume  the 
reader  will  conjecture  with  me  that  it  was  the  same  "gift,"  or,  at 
least,  some  imitation  of  it.  How  surprised  I  was  when  I  first 
discovered  the  meaning  of  the  term  "  speaking  in  tongues," 
among  the  Mormons,  may  perhaps  be  imagined  when  I  ex- 
plain what  happened  at  that  testimony-meeting. 

After  prayer,  and  singing,  and  listening  to  several  very  fer- 
vent addresses  from  some  of  the  elders,  Brother  Seely  had 
delivered  a  most  impassioned  speech,  and  had  hardly  con- 
cluded, when  Sister  Ellis,  who  was  sitting  near  me,  gave  evi- 
dence of  being  in  an  abnormal  condition  of  mind,  which  to 
me  was  painful  in  the  extreme.  Her  hands  were  clenched, 
and  her  eyes  had  that  wild  and  supernatural  glare  which  is 
never  seen,  save  in  cases  of  lunacy  or  intense  feverish  excite- 
ment. Every  one  waited  breathlessly,  listening  to  catch  what 
she  might  say  ; — you  might  have  heard  a  pin  drop. 

Then  in  oracular  language  and  with  all  the  impassioned 
dignity  of  one  inspired  of  heaven,  she  began  to  speak. 

I  say  "speak,"  as  that  term  is  generally  applied  to  the  ut- 
terances of  the  human  voice  ;  but  she  did  not  speak  in  the 
sense  in  which  we  always  employ  that  word  ;  she  simply 
emitted  a  series  of  sounds.  They  seemed  to  me  chiefly  the 
repetition  of  the  same  syllables — something  like  a  child  re- 
peating, la,  la,  la,  le,  lo  ;  ma,  ma,  ma,  mi,  ma  ;  dele,  deley 
dele,  /tela — followed,  perhaps,  by  a  number  of  sounds  strung 
together,  which  could  not  be  rendered  in  a)iy  shape  by  the 
pen.  Sometimes  in  the  Far  West,  in  later  years,  I  have  heard 
old  Indian  women,  crooning  wierdly  monotonous  and  outland- 
ish ditties  in  their  native  tongue.  These  wild  dirges,  more 
nearly  than  anything  else  I  ever  heard,  resembled  the  pro- 
phetic utterances  of  Sister  Ellis ;  save  only,  that  the  appear- 
ance of  the  latter  was  far  too  solemn  to  admit  of  even  a  smile- 

at  what  she  said. 



Ridiculous  as  this  appears  when  I  now  write  it  down  on 
paper,  and  strange  as  even  then  it  was  to  me,  there  was  some- 
thing so  commanding,  so  earnest,  so  "  inspirational,"  if  I  may 
be  allowed  the  term,  in  Sister  Ellis's  manner,  that  I  could  not 
wonder  at  the  attention  which  the  brethren  and  sisters  paid 
to  this  gifted  speaker  in  tongues. 

I  now  know  that  these  extraordinary  displays  are  by  no 
means  confined  to  Mormonism.  People  of  a  certain  temper- 
ament, excited  to  frenzy — generally  by  religious  enthusiasm^ 
have  in  all  ages  given  painful  illustrations  of  this  mental  dis- 
ease ;  as  the  student  who  remembers  the  Convidsionnah-es  of 
the  middle  ages,  the  Munster  Anabaptists  of  Luther's  time, 
and  the  various  emotional  sects  of  more  modern  days,  will 
abundantly  bear  me  witness.  But  at  that  time,  new  in  the 
faith,  and  believing  as  I  did,  that,  as  the  elders  said,  it  was 
the  manifestation  of  the  power  of  God,  as  foretold  by  the 
prophet  Joel,  though  I  secretly  felt  a  sense  of  repugnance,  I 
tried  to  combat  my  better  sentiments. 

Overcome  by  the  excitement  of  the  moment,  Sister  Ellis 
suddenly  paused,  not  so  much  intentionally  as  from  sheer 
inability  to  proceed  ;  and  the  leading  elders  looked  round 
from  one  to  another  to  see  if  any  one  was  present  who  could 
interpret.  The  gift  of  interpretation  is  very  rarely  possessed 
by  the  same  person  who  has  the  gift  of  tongues,  and  you  may 
9ften  hear  one  after  another  arise  and  "  speak,"  but  there  is 
no  one  to  "interpret,"  and  the  Saints  go  away  unedified. 
Even  when  an  interpreter  is  present,  there  is  no  authority  to 
determine  whether  he  gives  the  proper  rendering  of  the 
sounds  uttered,  and  I  have  over  and  over  again  heard  the 
most  ludicrous  stories  of  the  comical  interpretation  placed  by 
some  half  witty  or  half-witted  expounder  upon  these  oracles. 

When  Brother  Brigham — then  a  man  who  was  lowly  in  his 
own  eyes — first  met  the  prophet  Joseph  Smith,  at  Kirtland, 
Ohio,  there  was  a  scene  somewhat  like  the  one  I  have  de- 
scribed ;  and  the  future  leader  of  "  this  people,"  as  he  calls 
the  Saints,  himself  spake  with  tongues  and  uttered  wonderful 
things.     But  even  supposing  his  words  at  that  time  to  have 


been  of  the  wisest,  we  all  know  from  the  example  of  Balaam's 
reprover,  that  it  does  not  require  a  very  high  order  of  intellect 
to  speak  in  unaccustomed  language — and  that,  too,  to  some 
purpose.  In  later  days  the  exercise  of  this  gift  has  been  dis- 
couraged by  the  elders,  and  especially  by  Brigham  Young. 
Goi;ig  one  day,  some  years  after,  to  the  Lion-House  to  see  a 
certain  member  of  the  Prophet's  little  family  concerning  a 
subject  which  lay  very  near  to  my  heart  at  that  time,  we 
prayed  together  earnestly  and  anxiously ;  when  suddenly  the 
lady's  face  was  lighted  up  with  a  supernatural  glow,  and 
placing  her  hand  on  my  head  she,  sibyl-like,  poured  forth  a 
flood  of  eloquence  which — although  I  did  not  understand  a 
single  word  that  was  uttered — I  confess  sent  through  me  a 
magnetic  thrill  as  if  I  had  been  listening  to  an  inspired 
seeress.  Another  of  Brigham's  wives  who  was  present  inter- 
preted the  words  of  blessing  to  me,  but  added  :  "  Do  not 
speak  of  this,  Sister  Stenhouse,  for  Brother  Young  does  not 
like  to  hear  of  these  things."  Thus  we  see  that  one  inspired 
prophet  in  the  presence  of  another  "  prophet,  seer,  and  reve- 
lator,"  could  himself  take  part  at  one  time  in  a  miraculous 
manifestation,  which  in  later  years  he  "would  not  like  to  hear 
of,"  if  it  was  only  one  of  his  many  wives  who  enacted  the 
prophet's  role. 

But  my  meeting !  I  have  wandered  far  away  from  that. 
Let  me  proceed. 

After  more  testimony,  more  "  speaking,"  and  much  enthu- 
siasm, the  Saints  separated.  My  sister  was  talking  with  a 
young-lady  friend,  and  regretting  that  no  one  present  had 
been  able  to  interpret;  and  I  stood  by,  but  did  not  join  in  the 
conversation.  Suddenly  the  young  lady  turned  to  me  and 
said :  "  Sister  Fanny,  do  you  not  see  in  all  this,  more  and 
more,  the  convincing  power  of  God  .-•" 

Rather  hesitatingly  I  replied,  "  Yes,  I  think  I  do." 

"  Think  !  sister  .•*"  said  she,  with  warmth.  "  Oh,  yes,  I  see 
by  your  looks  that  you  are  only  half  convinced  ;  your  faith  is 
not  strong  enough  yet ;  but  remember,  whatsoever  is  of  doubt 

is  3171  f* 


"  But,"  I  answered,  "  I  do  not  see  clearly  what  good  we 
receive  from  these  manifestations  when  no  one  can  under- 
stand them." 

"  That  is  your  want  of  faith — nothing  else  ;  you  have  the 
evidence  of  the  truth  before  you,  and  you  see  how  these 
miraculous  powers  build  up  the  belief  of  God's  people  ;  and 
yet  you  doubt.  To  doicbt  is  sin:  whatsoever  is  not  of  faith  is 
sin.  You  must  pray  and  strive,  sister,  to  be  strengthened 
against  temptation." 

All  this  was  not  very  logical,  and  it  certainly  did  not  help 
to  dispel  my  doubts.  But,  twice  in  the  course  of  a  few  short 
sentences,  she  had  used  a  certain  expression  which,  though 
trifling  in  itself,  was  recalled  to  my  mind  very  forcibly  before 
many  days  had  passed. 

This  was  my  first  experience  of  speaking  in  tongues. 

But  there  were  every-day  matters  of  much  more  real 
importance  to  me  than  those  strange  speculations  which  had 
recently  employed  so  much  of  my  time  and  attention.  It 
was  now  necessary  that  I  should  either  return  to  France  and 
fulfill  my  engagement  with  Monsieur  De  Bosque,  or  else 
resolve,  once  and  for  ever,  to  renounce  all  those  ties  which 
had  become  so  dear  to  me. 

Meanwhile,  religious  theories  were  not  the  only  influences 
brought  to  bear  upon  my  mind. 

While  day  by  day  I  began  to  be  still  more  doubtful  whether 
it  would  not  after  all  be  sinful  in  God's  sight  for  me  to  leave 
my  friends  in  the  new  faith  and  go  back  to  France  and  my 
betrothed,  who  I  knew  neither  was  nor  ever  could  become  a 
Saint,  other  thoughts  began  to  intrude  themselves,  and  to 
shake  my  determination. 

Elder  Stenhouse's  visits  to  my  father's  house  began  to  be 
more  frequent  than  ever,  but  as  he  desired  to  become  familiar 
with  the  French  language,  and  would  bring  his  French  gram- 
mar with  him  "to  get  a  lesson,"  as  he  said,  no  particular 
notice  was  taken  of  his  frequent  coming.  He  was  always 
welcomed  with  pleasure  by  the  whole  family,  and,  of  course, 
by  myself,  who  was  his  teacher.     After  awhile  he  took  so 


much  delight  in  his  studies  that  he  could  not  endure  to  let  an 
evening  pass  without  a  lesson ;  and  somehow  or  other,  I  must 
confess,  it  was  the  first  time  since  I  had  been  a  teacher  that  I 
felt  such  a  peculiar  pleasure  in  imparting  instruction.  I  sup- 
pose it  was  the  interest  which  all  teachers  experience  when 
their  pupils  are  studiously  inclined.  My  pupil  was  particu- 
larly studious — so  much  so  that  he  told  my  father  and  mother 
that  he  could  not  study  very  well  in  the  parlor  where  every 
one  was  conversing,  and  begged  the  privilege  of  having  the 
folding  doors  thrown  partly  open,  that  we  might  sit  in  the 
back  parlor  and  be  more  quiet. 

This  was  granted.  But  after  a  few  evenings  my  pupil  took 
a  notion  to  partly  close  the  folding  doors  after  him,  and  as 
mothers'  eyes  are  ever  watchful,  one  of  my  sisters  was  sent 
in  with  her  sewing  to  keep  us  company.  But  my  pupil  by 
this  time  had  made  rapid  progress  in  the  French  language, 
and  while  my  sister  was  innocently  sewing,  he  was  repeating 
his  lesson  to  me  ;  and  it  was  not  our  fault  if  in  those  French 
phrase-books  there  were  passages  expressive  of  love  and 
devotion.  Unconsciously  to  us  both,  he  formed  the  habit  of 
repeating  those  phrases  to  me  at  all  times,  and  I  formed  the 
equally  bad  habit  of  blushing  whenever  he  made  use  of 

This  my  sister  observed,  and  communicated  the  fact  to  my 
mother,  who  immediately  said  that  we  had  better  discontinue 
our  French  for  awhile,  as  it  was  monopolizing  too  much  of 
our  time,  and  keeping  both  of  us  from  attending  to  other 
and  more  important  duties.  But  the  discontinuation  of  the 
French  lessons  did  not  put  an  end  to  the  visits  of  Elder  Sten- 
house.  He  was  a  persevering  young  man  ;  but  the  secret  of 
the  great  interest  taken  in  the  French  lessons  was  soon  dis- 

Then  it  was  that  arguments  of  all  kinds,  and  strong  reasons 
were  brought  forward  to  shake  my  purpose  of  returning  to 
France.  I  was  "  in  doubt "  : — when  one  day,  discussing  the 
point,  Elder  Stenhouse  made  use  of  the  very  same  expression 
which  had  fallen  from  the  sister's  lips  at  the  testimony-meet- 


ing — "  Whatsoever  is  not  of  faith  is  sin."  My  mind  unsettled, 
with  all  the  strength  of  argument  and  religion  on  the  one 
side,  and  on  the  other  no  one  to  plead  for  reason  and  for  my 
return  to  France,  who  can  wonder  that  I — at  best  only  a 
weak  and  inexperienced  girl — listened  to  the  entreaties  of  my 
friends,  and  resolved  to  stay. 

In  the  course  of  a  few  months  I  was  engaged  to  be  mar- 
ried to  Elder  Stenhouse.  It  may,  perhaps,  seem  strange  that 
I  could  so  soon  forget  the  past,  with  all  its  pleasant  memories, , 
and  renouncing  my  betrothed  husband,  accept  the  attentions 
of  another ;  but  it  should  be  remembered  that  I  now  firmly 
believed  it  was  my  duty — a  duty  which  I  dared  not  neglect — 
to  blot  out  for  ever  all  past  associations,  however  dear  to  my 
heart  they  might  be.  Besides  which,  I,  in  common  with  all 
around  me,  had  learned  to  look  upon  Elder  Stenhouse  as 
almost  an  angel,  on  account  of  what  he  had  endured  for  the 
Gospel's  sake ;  and  I  thought  that  any  girl  might  consider 
herself  honored  by  an  offer  of  marriage  from  a  man  in  his 
position  in  the  church.  My  marriage  in  France  would,  I 
feared,  have  been  but  doubtful  happiness  in  this  world,  and 
certain  ruin  in  the  next ;  but  heaven  itself  would  bless  my 
union  with  one  of  its  own  ordained  and  tried  servants. 

Thus  it  came  to  pass  that  on  the  6th  of  February,  1S50 — - 
eight  months  after  my  arrival  in  Southampton — I  was  mar- 
ried to  the  young  Mormon  missionary,  Elder  Stenhouse.  I 
entered  upon  my  new  sphere  as  a  missionary's  wife,  feeling 
that  there  were  no  obstacles  so  great  that  I  could  not  over- 
come them  for  the  Gospel's  sake.  How  little  could  I  then 
imagine  the  life  that  was  before  me, 

I  wrote  to  my  friends  in  France.  I  told  them  frankly  all. 
In  return  they  wrote  to  me — especially  Monsieur  De  Bosque 
entreating  me  to  alter  my  determination.  Kind,  and  very 
gentle,  were  those  letters.  Dear,  very  dear,  has  been  the 
memory  of  them,  and  of  their  writers,  in  later  days.  But, 
at  the  time,  I  felt  that  the  influence  which  they  still  retained 
over  me  was  in  itself  a  sin. 

I  told  all  to  my  friends  at  home — showed  them  the  letters 


and  everything — and,  both  before  and  after  my  marriage  with 
Elder  Stenhouse,  I  never  hid  from  myself  and  from  him  the 
fact  that  until  my  dying  day  I  should  cherish  with  an  un- 
changing affection  the  memory  of  those  friends  whose  tender 
love  was  the  charm  of  my  early  life. 



How  a  "  Miracle  "  was  Performed — The  Evidence  of  One's  Senses — Successful 
use  of  Scripture  Arguments — Mormon  versus  Local  Preacher — A  lively  Dis- 
cussion— A  little  "  Personal  "  Matter — A  Man  who  Never  saw  a  Miracle — Suc- 
cess Dependent  upon  Faith — "  I  Hardly  know  What  to  Think  of  It " — A  New 
Convert — How  Sister  Armstrong  was  Healed — A  Genuine  Case — Five  Years 
of  Helplessness — Testing  the  Claims  : — A  fair  Proposal — The  Faithful  Accept 
the  Offer — The  Magnetic  Pjinciple — A  good  Dose  of  Oil — How  the  Anointing 
was  performed : — Aaron  Outdone — Making  the  Passes — An  Exhausting  Labor 
— "Give  me  your  hand,  Brother" — "Have  faith,  Sister  Armstrong !" — "We 
Thought  that  She  was  Dead  " — My  first  Introduction  to  Mary  Burton — A  Wil- 
ful Lassie — We  become  Fast  Friends — Seeing  is  sometimes  Believing — Elder 
Stenhouse  Works  a  Miracle  : — Cures  a  man  of  the  Cholera — How  a  "regular 
battle"  was  Fought — A  Wife's  unprofitable  Faith — How  the  Miraculous  Power 
was  All  Used  Up — How  my  Husband  made  Himself  useful  Again. 

NOT  long  after  my  marriage  I  saw  a  miracle  performed — 
a  real,  true  miracle. 

Let  not  the  reader  smile,  or  think  that  I  am  only  jesting, 
for  I  am  quite  in  earnest,  and  mean  what  I  say.  I  saw  a  sick 
person  who  for  years  had  been  confined  to  her  bed,  her  limbs 
distorted  and  her  back  bent ;  I  was  present  when,  after  her 
conversion,  the  elders  visited  her ;  I  saw  them  anoint  her,  and 
lay  hands  on  her,  and  pray  most  fervently ;  and  I  saw  the  same 
decrepit  old  woman  walking  and  singing  and  praising  God. 
If  that  was  not  a  miracle,  I  should  like  to  know  what  is .-' 

The  Mormon  leaders  preached  everywhere  that  their  religion 
was  not  really  a  new  one — it  was  only  ih^fuhicss  of  the  Gos- 
pel— the  dispensation  of  the  last  days.  Just — they  said — as 
Jesus  Christ  fulfilled  and  completed  the  old  Jewish  law,  so  the 
modern  prophet  preached  the  perfection  of  Christ's  Gospel ; — 
nothing  new;  only  the  perfection  of  the  old.     This  it  was  that 


made  them  so  very  successful  when  arguing  with  people  who 
were  well-taught  in  the  letter  of  the  Bible,  but  otherwise  had 
received  very  little  educational  training. 

The  following  attempt  at  an  argument,  which  was  once  car- 
ried on  between  a  Mormon  Missionary  and  a  Methodist  local 
preacher,  in  my  presence  will  serve  to  explain  what  I  mean : — 

Local  Preacher :  But,  sir,  I  deny  iu  toto  that  your  elders 
ever  do  work  miracles.     The  age  of  miracles  is  past. 

Mormon :  Statement  is  not  proof.  You  say,  sir,  that  the 
age  of  miracles  is  past. — Do  you  believe  in  the  Bible.-* 

L.  P. :     Certainly. 

M. :  Well  then,  sir, — do  you  consider  that  the  Bible  asserts 
that  miracles  can  be,  and  have  been  worked, — do  you  believe 
that,  or  not .-' 

L.  P. :  Certainly  I  do.  Christ  and  His  Apostles  worked 
miracles,  and  the  Bible  speaks  of  many  others  besides. 

M. :  We  agree  on  that  point.  But  did  Christ  anywhere  say 
that  miracles  should  ever  cease  ?     Did  His  Apostles .? 

L.  P. :     Yes — No — Yes, — that  is  to  say,  I  don't  remember. 

M. :  Let  me  try  to  refresh  your  memory.  Have  not  all 
the  sacred  writers  foretold  that  ultimately  this  globe  should  be 
destroyed  by  fire,  that  the  heavens  should  pass  away,  and  the 
earth  melt,  and  the  sun,  and  the  stars,  and  the  moon  be  blot- 
ted out  ? 

L.  P. :     Yes,  of  course,  we  all  know  that. 

M. :  Then  let  me  ask  you,  Is  such  a  terrible  convulsion  a 
common  matter  of  fact.  Is  it  not  out  of  all  calculation,  out  of 
all  order  of  nature.''  Is  it  not  a  miracle — and  a  miracle  yet  to 
be  performed. — Have  then  miracles  ceased  "i 

L.  P. :  Oh  yes  ;  but  that's  not  a  personal  matter  Hke  heal- 
ing the  sick. 

M. :  Tell  me  then,  does  the  Bible  teach,  or  does  it  not 
teach,  that  bone  shall  come  to  bone  and  sinew  to  sinew  and 
earth  and  sea  shall  give  up  their  dead,  at  the  last  trump }  Is 
not  t/iat  a  miracle,  and  don't  you  think  it's  a  Httle  "personal" 
to  you  and  to  me  .-* 

L.  P. :    Well,  of  course  I  admit  that. 


M. :  But  I  have  not  done  yet.  Did,  or  did  not  Christ  say, 
"These  signs  shall  follow  them  that  believe;  in  my  name  they 
shall  cast  out  devils ;  they  shall  speak  with  new  tongues ;  they 
shall  take  up  serpents ;  and  if  they  drink  any  deadly  thing,  it 
shall  not  hurt  them ;  they  shall  lay  hands  on  the  sick  and  they 
shall  recover?"  Now  tell  me — Are  not  miracles  promised 
there,  and  nothing  said  about  luhen  they  should  cease.  Is  it 
not  just  as  fair  for  the  infidel  to  say  that  one  of  Christ's  prom- 
ises was  of  no  avail  as  for  you  to  say  that  He  has  broken  His 
word.-*  Solemnly  He  makes  a  promise  to  be  with  them  to  the 
end  of  the  world  and  to  confirm  their  miracles.  You,  because 
of  your  want  of  faith,  see  and  work  no  miracles,  and  so  you 
virtually  say  Christ  broke  His  word  on  that  point.  The  rest 
of  the  promise  you  don't  deny,  because  you  can  say  it  is  ful- 
filled without  bringing  forth  any  visible  proofs. 

L.  P. :     Well,  I  hardly  know  what  to  say  to  all  this, 

M. :  Let  me  ask  you  one  more  question  sir — HsLVQjyoti  ever 
seen  a  miracle  of  any  kind  performed? 

L.  P. :     No  sir.    Certainly  not ! 

M. :  And  are  you  a  teacher  in  Israel  and  know  not  these 
things?  Have  you  been  preaching  the  Gospel, as  I  think  you 
said  you  had,  for  over  eighteen  years,  and  never  yet  saw  a 
miracle  performed  :  been  preaching  Christ  and  yet  never  saw 
Him  discover  His  power  in  proof  of  what  you  taught? 

L.  P.:     I'm  afraid  not,  sir: — you  trouble  me. 

M. :  No,  sir,  it  is  not  I  who  trouble  you  :  it  is  He  troubles 
you  whose  word  you  have  doubted.  Only  last  week  Mr. 
Sterne — a  minister  of  your  own  persuasion — but  not  far,  I 
trust,  from  the  kingdom  of  God — visited  Bill  Wright,  the  mur- 
derer, in  prison.  Bill  had  lived  a  life  of  infamy — the  vilest  of 
the  vile — and  he  wound  up  his  horrible  crimes  by  cutting  the 
throat  of  his  wife.  That  brute  in  human  form  refused  at  first 
to  speak  with  any  one.  Day  after  day  and  night  after  night 
the  good  man  went  to  see  him,  but  long  in  vain.  At  length 
one  day  he  chanced  to  mention  the  words  of  Jesus:  "Him 
that  cometh  unto  me,  I  will  in  no  wise  cast  out;"  A  little  boy, 
by  his  mother's  knee,  the  murderer  had  listened  to  those  words 


which  have  brought  peace  to  so  many  broken  hearts.  The 
appeals  of  the  good  minister  had  fallen  dead  upon  his  ears. 
But  now  was  the  time  of  the  Spirit's  influence,  and  the  strong 
man  wept.  I  have  seen  that  fiendish  man,  whose  very  face 
betrays  the  depths  of  degradation  to  which  his  nature  has 
fallen — I  have  seen  him  listening  meekly  and  humbly  to  the 
word  of  God — without  hope  for  earth,  but  with  a  changed  soul 
within.  Tell  me,  was  not  that  a  miracle  if  ever  there  was 
one .'' 

L.  P. :  Sir,  I  admit  that  what  you  say  is  very  forcible.  I 
admit  that  these  things  are  miraculous ;  but  what  I  deny  is 
that,  in  these  days,  men, — whether  Catholic  priests,  or  Mor- 
mon Missionaries, — can  like  St.  Paul,  or  St.  Peter,  go  about 
with  power  to  heal  the  sick  or  raise  the  dead. 

M. :  And  what  I  assert,  sir,  is,  that  God  in  these  last  days 
has  raised  up  a  holy  priesthood  to  preach  the  fulness  of  the 
everlasting  Gospel.  Peter  quoted  the  prophecy  of  Joel,  and 
said  that  it  was  nozv  fulfilled,  and  that  "your  young  men 
should  see  visions,  and  your  old  men  dream  dreams,  and  I  will 
pour  out  my  Spirit  upon  all  flesh,  saith  the  Lord."  Now  if 
those  were  the  last  days — what  are  these?  That  was  the  be- 
ginning of  the  end ;  this  is  the  end.  I  do  not  deny  that  much 
imposture  has  been  practiced ;  but  the  existence  of  a  counter- 
feit only  proves  that  the  real  thing  must  be  somewhere.  In 
many  instances,  too,  some  of  our  holiest  men  have  failed,  and 
the  world  has  scoffed  at  what  it  called  their  imposture.  But 
even  the  disciples  of  Christ,  you  remember,  once  tried  to  work 
a  miracle,  and  were  not  able  to  do  so.  What  did  Christ  say, 
but  that  it  was  their  want  of  faith,  and  bade  them  fast  and 
pray  more.-' 

L.  P. :  Well,  sir,  I  am  willing  to  allow  this,  but  if  you  your- 
self could  perform  a  miracle  before  my  eyes — if,  for  instance, 
you'd  cure  some  man  or  woman  who  I  h;iezv  really  and  truly 
was  a  confirmed  invalid — then,  sir,  I'd  accept  all  you  say — I'd 
become  a  Mormon  at  once ;  but  you'd  decline  that  test,  I  sup- 
pose ? 

M. :     No,  sir!  I  would  not  dechne!     Brother  Sturges,  a  nevr 

y8  THE    PRAYER    OF    FAITH    SHALL    SAVE    THE    SICK. 

convert  of  ours,  has  been  ill  for  years.  You  know  him  well, 
for  he  used  to  go  to  your  meeting,  years  ago  before  he  fell 
from  a  ladder  and  the  doctors  pronounced  him  incurably  deaf. 
Your  religion  didn't  help  him,  and  the  doctors  didn't ; — put  if 
that  man  has  only  faith — faith  as  a  little  child — he  shall  hear 
as  well  as  you  or  I  hear  to-day.  We  are  going  to  pray  over 
him ;  will  you  go  with  me  .-• 

L.  P. :  Yes.  I'll  go,  but — but  I  hardly  know  what  to  think 
of  it. 

So  saying,  the  two  disputants  walked  off  together.  What 
ocular  demonstration  of  miracle-working  was  presented  to 
the  Methodist  minister,  I  do  not  know ;  I  can  only  say  that  a 
fortnight  after,  I  was  present  at  a  meeting  of  the  Saints  when 
he  was  admitted  into  the  Church  by  immersion.  He  was  fol- 
lowed by  a  goodly  number  of  his  flock ;  he  became  a  very 
earnest  missionary,  and,  years  after,  died  in  the  full  odor  of 
sanctity  and  was  buried  in  Zion,  clothed  in  the  full  canonicals 
of  a  high-priest. 

At  the  time  of  which  I  speak,  such  arguments  as  those  I 
have  briefly  sketched  from  memory,  and  many  which  were 
much  more  forcibly  put,  had  great  weight  The  Holy 
Scriptures  I  implicitly  believed ;  and  taking  them  quite  liter- 
ally I  found  that  the  reasoning  employed  by  the  Mormons, 
was,  at  least  to  me,  altogether  unanswerable. 

But,  for  all  that,  I  always  liked  my  believing  to  be  mixed 
with  a  little  seeing  and  judging  for  myself ;  and  on  this  account 
it  was  that  I  went,  with  a  good  deal  of  pleasure,  to  the  house 
of  Sister  Armstrong  upon  whom  the  elders  were  going  to  lay 
hands  and  pray.  St.  James  had  said :  "  Is  any  sick  among 
you  ?  Let  him  call  for  the  Elders  of  the  Church  ;  and  let 
them  pray  over  him,  anointing  him  with  oil  in  the  name  of  the 
Lord :  and  the  prayer  of  faith  shall  save  the  sick,  and  the  Lord 
shall  raise  him  up ;  and  if  he  have  committed  sins,  they  shall 
be  forgiven  him."  I  wanted  to  see  this  command  obeyed  in 
tkese  days,  and  to  note  results. 

Sister  Armstrong  lived  in  a  by-street  not  very  far  from  the 
place  where  our  meetings  were  held.     She  had  lived  in  South- 



ampton  nearly  all  her  life,  and  probably  even  now,  although 
in  the  course  of  nature  she  must  long  since  have  gone  to  her 
rest,  there  must  be  many  persons  living  who  could  remember 
her  and  her  sudden  recovery  from  illness  ;  for  at  the  time,  as 
might  be  expected,  it  produced  no  small  sensation  in  the 
immediate  locality  in  which  she  reskled.  She  had  been  the 
wife  of  a  master-builder,  who  meeting  with  an  accident  while 
engaged  in  business,  was  for  a  long  time  confined  helplessly 
to  the  house,  and  then  to  his  bed,  from  which  he  never 

His  wife  was  a  faithful  and  good  woman.  She  nursed  him 
tenderly,  and  by  dint  of  great  exertions  on  her  part,  was  able 
to  provide  all  the  necessaries  and  decencies  of  life  for  her 
afflicted  husband,  herself,  and  their  two  little  girls,  besides 
paying  for  suitable  medical  attendance.  In  course  of  time 
the  girls  were  sent  to  school — it  was  the  mother's  pride  that 
they  should  not  go  to  a  free-school,  or  as  schools  of  that  class 
are  called  in  England,  a  "  charity-school " — and,  night  and 
day,  she  would  toil  with  her  needle  in  order  to  carry  out  this 
praiseworthy  determination.  When  their  father  died,  the 
girls  were  a  great  comfort  to  their  mother.  They  were  now 
almost  grown  up  to  womanhood,  and  were  able  by  their  own 
exertions  to  add  very  considerably  to  the  family  income. 
Thus  happily  and  contentedly  they  lived  together  for  several 
years,  until  one  of  the  girls  married  very  suitably  a  good, 
hard-working  mechanic  who  had  known  her  from  childhood ; 
but  the  other  remained  at  home  with  her  mother. 

Not  long  after  the  marriage  of  her  elder  daughter,  Mrs. 
Armstrong  was  troubled  with  a  severe  cold  which  confined 
her  for  some  weeks  to  the  house.  She  grew  alarmingly 
worse,  and  finally  took  to  her  bed.  One  morning  her  daughter 
found  her  speechless,  and  a  doctor  being  called  in,  he  pro- 
nounced her  condition  desperate.  She  was  subject  to  con- 
vulsive fits  which  were  at  first  of  very  frequent  occurrence. 
After  a  time  they  came  only  at  intervals,  but  their  effect  upon 
her  was  terrible  ;  her  limbs  were  drawn  up  towards  her  body 
and  her  spine  was  completely  curved,  while  all  one  side  of  her 


face  was  permanently  distorted  ; — and  this  continued  for  over 
five  years, 

Sarah,  the  younger  daughter,  watched  her  mother  tenderly ; 
earning  meanwhile  a  modest  living  by  her  needle,  and  from 
the  proceeds  of  a  little  miscellaneous  shop  which  she  was  able 
to  tend  without  leaving  the  invalid  for  more  than  a  few 
minutes  at  a  time.  Thus  they  lived  together  contentedly  and 
happy  until  the  arrival  of  the  Mormon  Missionaries  in 

The  married  daughter  and  her  husband  being  rather  better 
in  education  and  position  than  people  of  that  class  usually  are 
in  England,  had  made  it  a  rule  to  go  regularly  every  Sunday 
to  their  own  parish  church,  and  their  children  were  baptized 
by  the  regular  clergyman.  This  latter  gentleman,  however, 
died,  and  his  successor  who,  of  course,  was  appointed  without 
consulting  the  wishes  of  the  people,  was,  although  a  scholar 
and  a  gentleman,  utterly  without  the  slightest  tinge  of  relig- 
ious e.ithusiasm.  The  Methodists  at  that  time  had  a  grand- 
revival,  and  the  young  couple  being  induced  to  attend  one  of 
their  meetings,  liked  what  they  heard,  and,  not  long  after, 
left  off  their  attendance  at  the  Anglican  Church  and  joined 
the  denomination  to  which  they  had  become  attached.  This 
change,  as  might  be  expected,  somewhat  unsettled  them,  and 
when  the  Mormon  Missionaries  came,  Bible  in  hand,  and 
quoting  chapter  and  verse  for  everything  they  said,  they 
found  ready  listeners  ;  and  in  a  very  short  time  the  whole 
family  was  admitted  into  the  Mormon  Church  by  baptism. 

The  affliction  of  the  old  lady  was  naturally  the  subject  of 
conversation  among  these  newly-made  Saints  and  their  neigh- 
bors. As  we  have  seen,  the  Mormon  Missionaries  not  only 
asserted  their  power  to  work  miracles,  but  appealed  to  them 
as  proofs  of  their  mission.  People  suggested  that  if  this  was 
really  true,  here  was  an  opportunity  of  the  best  kind  for 
putting  these  pretensions  to  the  test ;  for  every  one  knew 
that  there  was  no  deception  about  th<!  malady  of  Sister 

Themselves    firmly    believing   in   what    they   taught,   the 


Elders  desired  nothing  more  than  to  be  able  to  prove  the 
truth  of  their  assertions,  and  declared  their  readiness  to  do 
what  was  required  of  them.  A  proper  time  was  appointed 
when  the  relations  and  friends  of  the  sick  person  should  meet 
together  to  intercede  for  her  in  solemn  prayer,  after  which 
they  would  anoint  her  with  oil,  as  the  Apostle  James  had 
directed,  and  lay  their  hands  upon  her,  that  the  prayer  of 
faith  might  save  the  sick,  and  God  should  raise  her  up. 

The  room  was  full  of  people.  There  were  several  of  the 
leading  elders  present,  and  also  a  goodly  number  of  the 
Saints,  who  naturally  felt  a  deep  interest  in  the  result  of 
these  proceedings  ;  besides  these,  the  neighbors  who,  of 
course,  had  heard  what  was  going  on,  came  and  filled  up  the 
room  quite  inconveniently. 

A  stranger  would  at  once  have  been  struck  with  the  preval- 
ence of  that  peculiar  magnetic  feeling  which  evidently  influ- 
enced all  present.  Even  those  who,  as  the  poet  says,  came  to 
scoff,  felt  the  same  influence,  as  many  afterwards  acknowl- 
edged. The  elders  surrounded  the  bed,  and  after  a  brief  but 
most  "earnest  address  from  one  of  them,  we  all  engaged  in 
prayer.  The  subject  of  the  prayer  can  readily  be  supposed  ; 
but  the  earnestness — the  intense,  anxious  pleading  of  the 
supplicants — no  one  could  comprehend  who  had  never  been 
present  at  such  a  scene. 

A  bottle  of  oil  was  now  brought  out  by  the  eldest  daughter 
of  the  invalid  ;  and  three  of  the  elders  took  it  in  their  hands. 
It  was  an  Italian  flask  of  very  thin  glass,  covered  with  wicker, 
and  holding  somewhat  more  than  a  pint.  In  taking  hold  of 
it,  the  elders  placed  their  fingers  quite  round  it  ;  though, 
where  many  assist  in  the  consecration.  I  have  seen  them 
simply  touch  it  with  their  fingers.  Then  one  of  the  elders 
said : 

"  By  virtue  of  the  holy  priesthood,  and  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ;  we  con- 
secrate this  oil  to  the  healing  of  all  those  who  arc  sick  and  afflicted;  that  it  may 
remove  all  infirmities  and  impurities  of  the  system.  And  may  this  oil,  which 
we  dedicate  especially  to  the  healing  of  our  afflicted  sister,  penetrate  her  to  the 
afflicted  parts,  and  give  them  new  life  and  vigor,  that  she  may  be  strengthened 
and  healed  by  the  power  of  faith,  and  the  laying  on  of  hands,  as  commanded  by 

82  EVIL    SPIRITS    CAST    OUT. 

thy  servants  in  the  last  days; — for  this  especial  purpose  do  we  bless  and  conse- 
crate this  oil;  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ. — Amen." 

After  this  a  large  tablespoon  was  brought  forth  and  filled 
with  the  consecrated  oil,  which  latter  was  poured  down  the 
throat  of  the  patient.  She  was  then  thoroughly  anointed  — 
the  oil  not  being  applied  by  the  tip  of  the  finger  as  in 
"  extreme  unction,"  but  poiwed  Jipon  her  much  after  the  fashion 
described  by  King  David  when  he  says  the  precious  fluid  ran 
down  the  beard  of  Aaron  and  saturated  all  his  clothing. 

The  patient,  however,  was  patient  indeed.  To  her  it  was 
no  idle  form.  She  was  newly  converted  and  her  heart  was 
burning  with  zeal  and  faith.  Perhaps  the  reader  may  think 
that  this  had  much  to  do  with  the  success  of  the  operation, 
as  probably  it  had.  However  this  might  be,  the  elders,  who 
while  they  anointed  her  had  mingled  prayers  and  benedic- 
tions above  her  head,  now  once  more  united  in  fervent  suppli- 
cation, and  then  laid  their  hands  upon  her,  according  to  the 
letter  of  the  Scripture. 

There  was  something  peculiar  about  this  laying  on  of 
hands.  It  was  not  a  mere  gentle  touching,  but  a  thorough 
manipulation.  The  two  hands  were  placed  firmly  on  the  top 
of  the  head  and  then  drawn  energetically  down  the  body 
while  vigorous  "  passes  " — as  magnetizers  '  call  the  action — 
were  made  repeatedly  over  the  affected  parts.  These  prayers 
and  manipulations  were  made  for  very  nearly  three  hours, 
when  the  elders  engaged  in  the  work — for  zvork  it  was — were 
thoroughly  exhausted.  One  of  them  then  placing  his  right 
hand  on  the  head  of  the  sufferer  suddenly  blessed  her  in  the 
name  of  the  Lord,  told  her  that  her  sins  were  forgiven  her ; 
that  the  evil  spirits  who  had  afflicted  her  were  cast  out ;  that 
the  infirmity  and  disease  which  for  five  long  years  had  kept  her 
bound  upon  the  bed  of  sickness  was  rebuked,  and  would 
torment  her  no  more  ;  and  bade  her  be  strong  in  the  faith  and 
be  of  good  cheer,  for  God  would  raise  her  up. 

Watching  all  this,  as  I  was  ;  believing  all  this,  as  I  did  ; 
my  heart  filled  with  joy  at  the  manifestation  of  heavenly 
power  which   I  expected   to  witness, — I  must   nevertheless 


acknowledge  that  a  feeling  of  wonder  pervaded  my  mind 
when  I  saw  Sister  Armstrong,  who  for  so  many  years  had 
been  unable  even  to  turn  in  the  bed  by  herself,  stretch  forth 
her  poor,  bony  arm,  all  unassisted,  and  say  to  one  of  the 
elders — "  Give  me  your  hand,  brother." 

One  of  the  brethren  put  forth  his  hand,  and  took  hers, 
saying  as  he  did  so  :  "  Have  faith  ;  have  faith  Sister  Arm- 
strong ; " — while  the  brother  who  had  recently  blessed  her 
repeated  :  "  The  prayer  of  faith  shall  save  the  sick,  and  God 
shall  raise  him  up  !  " 

Sister  Armstrong,  who  an  hour  before  could  not,  unaided, 
have  changed  her  position,  now  grasping  the  elder's  hand, 
raised  herself  up  in  the  bed.  She  looked  upon  us  with  a  smile 
of  triumph  for  a  moment — faith  was  triumphant.  But  nature 
asserted  her  immutable  laws  and  the  next  instant  the  poor 
sister  sank  gently  back  upon  the  pillows  and  closed  her  eyes. 
We  thought  that  she  was  dead. 

The  room  was  cleared  of  all  but  those  immediately  con- 
nected with  the  sufferer,  and  I,  on  account  of  my  new  posi- 
tion as  Elder  Stenhouse's  wife,  was  allowed  to  remain.  Sarah 
and  her  younger  sister  applied  such  simple  restoratives  as 
came  conveniently  to  hand,  and  we  were  soon  satisfied  that 
Sister  Armstrong  had  only  fainted ;  and  who  could  wonder  at  it .-' 

I  sat  there,  not  far  from  the  bed,  lost  in  astonishment  at 
what  I  had  seen,  and  wondering  whether  what  Elder  Bronson 
had  said  was  true — that  in  a  day  or  two,  at  furthest,  she 
would  be  quite  well.  To  me  it  was  all  a  mystery.  I  knew 
then  nothing  of  the  miraculous  power  of  faith — not  religious 
faith,  but  often  just  the  reverse,  which  has  so  often  relieved 
and  cured  diseases  and  infirmities  which  have  bafiElcd  the 
power  of  the  most  skilful  physicians.  Moreover  I  knew 
nothing  then  of  that  peculiar  magnetic  power  which  scientific 
men  now  have  proved  belongs  to  certain  constitutions  and 
can  be  used  for  curative  purposes.  So,  in  the  childlike  sim- 
plicity of  my  heart,  I  knelt  down  and  thankfully  poured  forth 
my  gratitude  to  God  that  he  had  permitted  me  to  witness 
this  wonderful  manifestation  of  his  power  and  love. 

84  MARY   burton's    STORY, 

As  I  rose  from  my  knees,  I  saw  standing  just  by  me  and 
intently  watching  my  movements,  a  young  girl — little  more 
than  a  child — who  was  destined  in  after  years  to  cross  my  path 
more  than  once,  and  whose  sisterly  affection  I  shall  ever 
cherish  among  the  treasures  of  my  heart.  She  wore  a  light 
summer  dress,  with  little  or  no  ornament,  and  indeed  she 
needed  none  ;  while  on  her  head  was  a  little  coquettish  hat  of 
the  prettiest  and  most  becoming  style.  Her  hair  was  bright 
and  golden — such  hair  as  I  have  never  seen,  except  in  pict- 
ures and  on  one  or  two  extremely  rare  occasions — and 
her  eyes,  I  could  not  tell  the  deep,  deep  love — the  charm- 
ing, engaging  beauty  which  beamed  from  them. 

The  reader  may  perhaps  think  I  am  romancing  a  little,  but 
I  do  assure  him  that  when  I  first  saw  that  young  girl  in  all 
the  heavenly  beauty  of  budding  maidenhood,  I  could  hardly 
persuade  myself  for  a  moment  that  I  was  not  dreaming  after 
the  fashion  of  some  fairy  story.  Years  passed  away — years 
of  anxious  cruel  trial  to  us  both,  and  now  how  changed  we 
are  !  She  then  a  pretty,  gentle  faerie  queen  ;  I,  a  new-made 
bride,  hardly  out  of  my  teens.     What  are  we  both  now  .-' 

She  came  right  up  to  me,  and  said,  "  Mrs.  Stenhouse,  you 
don't  know  me,  but  I  have  seen  you  often,  and  I  like  you 
very  much — yes,  and  I  want  to  talk  to  you." 

"  Yes,  dear,"  I  said,  and  I  kissed  her  on  both  cheeks  and 
she  looked  pleased, — in  her  simplicity  she  thought  it  was  a 
great  honor  to  be  noticed  by  a  missionary's  wife. 

Then  we  sat  down  together  and  she  told  me  all  about  her- 
self : — how  her  father  was  a  wealthy  man,  a  doctor  in  good 
practice  and  with  property  beside  ;  how  he  had  accidentally 
met  with  a  Mormon  gentleman — a  man  of  education  and 
position  ;  for  many  such  joined  the  Church  before  the 
blighting  doctrine  of  polygamy  was  promulgated  ; — how  that 
his  arguments  and  Bible-proofs  had  been  so  convincing  that 
her  father  had  been  baptized  and  had  cast  in  his  lot  among 
the  Saints  ; — how  that  he,  being  called  away  on  business, 
had  left  her  with  a  maiden  aunt  who  did  not  belong  to  the 
Mormon  Church,    and  who  would  not  let  her  come  to  see 


Sister  Armstrong  anointed  ;  and  how  she  had  quietly  crept 
out  unnoticed,  and  would  now  have  to  return  quite  alone." 

"  No,"  I  said,  "  I  will  go  with  you  and  see  you  safe 
home,  but  you  must  not  come  out  all  by  yourself  in  this 
way  again." 

She  kissed  me,  with  a  comical  little  smile  dancing  on  her 
lips,  as  much  as  to  intimate  that  whatever  I  might  sagely 
suggest,  she  would,  after  all,  be  pretty  certain  to  have  her 
own  way. 

I  saw  my  young  friend  safely  to  her  father's  house,  and 
then  I  went  home  myself,  thinking  of  her  childish  beauty 
and  winning  ways,  and  pondering  over  what  I  had  wit- 

The  next  morning  Sarah  called  in  to  see  us.  She  told  us 
that  her  mother  had  had  a  calm  and  peaceful  night,  and  had 
been  much  refreshed  ;  that  when  she  awoke  she  insisted  upon 
being  washed  and  dressed  and  was  now  sitting  up,  with  my 
new  acquaintance— -Mary  Burton — talking  to  her.  I  could 
hardly  believe  this  could  be  true,  so  I  put  on  my  bonnet  and 
went  to  see. 

There,  sure  enough,  was  Sister  Armstrong,  very  pale,  and 
evidently  very  weak,  but  quite  another  woman.  No  one  could 
have  recognised  her.  The  muscles  of  her  face  were  no  longer 
contracted,  and  she  sat  there  straight  enough  for  a  woman  of 
her  age.  I  could  scarcely  believe  my  eyes.  The  poor  old 
lady  seemed  glad  to  see  me,  and  it  did  my  heart  good  to  hear 
her  talk  of  the  mercies  of  God. 

As  we  talked,  Mary  came  near  and  put  her  hand  in  mine, 
I  stooped  down  and  touched  her  check  gently,  and  kissed  her. 
"  You  did  not  even  tell  me  what  your  other  name  was,  dear  V 
I  asked. 

"  No,  Sister  Stenhouse  ;  but  I  told  you  everything  else. 
My  name  is  Mary  Burton"  she  replied,  "  \i\x1  you  must  call  me 
only  Mary." 

I  stooped  down  and  kissed  her  again.  That  was  my  only 

Then  she  arose  from  the  stool  on  which  she  was  sitting, 


and  said  :  "  I  must  leave  you  for  a  few  minutes,  please  ;  I 
promised  to  go  back  directly  I'd  seen  how  Mrs.  Armstrong 
was  ;  but  I'll  return  soon."  And  with  a  little  whimsical  nod 
and  an  imperative  wave  of  the  hand,  she  tripped  away. 

After  this  I  saw  plenty  of  the  gift  of  healing  and  the 
working  of  miracles.  Some  cases  were  not  quite  so  success- 
ful as  that  which  I  have  described.  Then  we  were  told  the 
fault  was  in  our  want  of  faith.  That  cures  were  really  affected, 
no  on6  who  has  been  present  on  such  occasions  could  possibly 
doubt.  That  they  were  miracles  in  the  sense  in  which  we 
generally  use  that  term,  I  do  not  for  a  moment  believe  ;  but  I 
think  that  in  cases  where  the  efforts  of  the  elders  were  suc- 
cessful, scientific  enquiry  would  readily  show  that  the  effects 
were  only  natural  results  of  natural  causes. 

One  brother — a  deacon  in  the  church — was  suddenly  at- 
tacked with  cholera.  He  sent  immediately  for  Elder  Sten- 
house.  It  matters  not  what  the  disease  may  be,  the  same 
means  are  employed.  Young  and  old,  of  both  sexes,  are 
treated  alike  ; — from  measles  to  cholera  morbus,  from  tooth- 
ache to  blindness,  from  whooping-cough  to  deafness  ;  and 
from  headache  to  "  possession  by  devils  " — the  same  prescrip- 
tion serves  for  every  one.  And  so  satisfied  are  the  Saints 
that  this  is  the  only  right  way  to  effect  a  cure,  that,  until 
very  recently,  to  send  for  a  physician  would  have  been 
accounted  a  sin — doubting  the  promises  of  God — want  of 

In  the  case  of  the  deacon  to  whom  I  have  just  alluded,  the 
experiment  was  successful.  Another  missionary  hajDpened  to 
be  in  Southampton  at  that  time,  and  he  was  with  Elder  Sten- 
house  when  the  messenger  arrived.  They  were  both  much 
surprised,  for  they  had  seen  the  sick  man  only  an  hour  and  a 
half  before,  but  they  set  off  at  once,  and  found  him  in  such  a 
state  that  he  could  hardly  be  recognised. 

They  immediately  anointed  him  with  oil,  administering  a 
good  dose  internally  ;  then  laid  hands  on  him  and  prayed  for 
him  ;  but  the  cholera  maintained  its  hold.  The  two  Mission- 
aries were  full  of  zeal  and  were  determined  not  to  yield  to  the 


terrible  disease  ;  from  early  evening  to  the  following  morning 
at  daybreak  they  continued  to  anoint  the  brother  and  to  lay 
hand  on  him,  praying  for  his  recovery  probably  thirty  times 
during  the  night.  In  their  rough  but  expressive  language, 
they  "  had  a  regular  battle." 

Victory  at  length  crowned  their  efforts  :-the  disease  was 
mastered;  but  they  themselves  were  utterly  prostrated  by  the 
physical  and  mental  exertions  of  the  night. 

The  Saints  regarded  this  as  a  great  miracle  ;  but  unbeliev- 
ers would  doubtless  wonder  why,  if  it  was  done  by  •'  the 
power  of  God  "—as  the  Elders  asserted— it  had  cost  so  much 
exertion  on  the  part  of  man.  I,  however,  simply  state  the 
facts  as  they  fell  under  my  own  observation  ;  and  I  may  add 
that,  during  that  same  night,  in  the  same  block  of  low 
tenement    buildings,    five    persons    died    of    that     dreadful 

scourge.  .      .  •   „4.^ 

On  the  following  day,  an  enthusiastic  sister  came  running  to 
Elder  Stenhouse  for  him  to  come  and  lay  hands  upon  her 
husband  who  had  also  been  attacked  by  the  cholera  She 
was  a  woman  of  great  faith,  or  thought  she  was,  and  she  had 
no  doubt  that  a  wonderful  miracle  would  be  wrought.  Even 
in  the  midst  of  the  affliction  at  home  she  was  perfectly  jubil- 
ant over  the  idea  that  the  power  of  the  priesthood  would  be 
demonstrated.  She  had  called  in  several  of  to  neighbors 
before  the  elders  arrived,  and  they  stood  round  the  bed  ot 

the  sick  man.  ,     ,.  . , 

When  the  elders  reached  the  house,  the  hvid  countenance 
of  the  sufferer  told  plainly  that  he  was  very  far  gone.  Elder 
Stenhouse  laid  his  hands  upon  him  in  the  usual  way,  but  in- 
stead of  commanding  the  disease  to  depart,  as  it  was  expected 
he  would,  he  prayed  that  the  afflicted  brother  himself  might 
pass  away  in  peace.  The  head  of  the  dying  man  instantly  fell 
back  upon  his  pillow,  and  all  was  over. 

The  bereaved  woman  was  almost  petrified  with  surprise  and 
disappointment,  and  the  unexpected  change  which  had  niade 
her  a  widow.  Eider  Stenhouse  could  only  answer  that  there 
was  "  no  virtue  in  him  ;"  he  had  no  faith  at  that  moment  to 

88  A  mother's  sorrow. 

heal  any  one  ;  the  former  exercise  of  the  gift  had  exhausted 
him.  There  was,  perhaps,  more  truth  in  his  answer  than  he 
himself  imagined. 

The  poor  woman  of  whom  I  have  spoken  must  have  been 
greatly  distressed  when  she  saw  the  promise  of  miraculous 
assistance  upon  which  she  had  so  confidently  relied  fail  her 
m  such  an  unexpected  manner.  But  she  was  not  alone  in  her 
disappointment.  Many  a  man  and  woman  who  believed  that 
the  laws  of  nature  would  be  reversed  and  the  decrees  of  the 
Almighty  set  aside  because  their  faith  was  strong  and  they 
"  expected  "  God  to  act  in  such  and  such  a  way,  made  ship- 
wreck of  their  hopes  as  this  poor  woman  did,  upon  the  quick- 
sands of  a  false  expectation. 

My  husband  and  myself  were  invited  to  take  tea  at  the 
house  of  a  brother  in  Southampton.  The  brother's  name  was 
Isles,  and  he  and  his  wife  had  a  child  who  had  been  very  seri- 
ously ill  for  nearly  three  weeks.  Mr.  Stenhouse  had  frequently 
"  administered  "  to  him  by  the  laying  on  of  hands.  On  the 
evening  to  which  I  allude  the  child  appeared  to  be  much  bet- 
ter, and  he  even  sat  up  to  the  tea-table,  perched,  child-like, 
upon  his  high  chair  and  in  accordance  with  his  own  ear- 
nest request.     We  all  thought  that  he  was  doing  very  nicely. 

After  tea,  and  just  when  we  were  about  to  leave.  Sister 
Isles  said  :  "  Brother  Stenhouse,  please  lay  your  hands  upon 
my  babe,  and  ask  the  Lord  to  bless  him,  that  he  may  have  a 
refreshing  sleep  to-night.  My  husband  complied,  and  began 
by  praying  that  the  child  might  rest  well, — when,  suddenly,  as 
if  by  an  irresistible  impulse  he  implored  that  the  child  might 
die  easily  and  without  pain.  I  instinctively  glanced  at  the 
mother,  and  our  eyes  met.  She  looked  as  if  frozen  to  the 
heart  ;  and  in  a  moment  we  knew  that  the  child  was  dying, — 
not  painfully,  but  calmly  and  peacefully,  as  if  he  were  going 
to  sleep.  The  poor  mother  wept  piteously  ;  but  my  hus- 
band bade  her  not  trouble  the  last  moments  of  the  dying 

In  a  few  moments  all  was  over  ;  and  I — and  probably  the 
mother,  too — asked  mentally ; — if  this  also  is  the  age  of  mir- 


acles — "  is  the  Lord's  hand  shortened  that  He  cannot  save, 
or  His  ear  heavy  that  He  will  not  hear  ?"  We  had  yet  to 
learn  that  the  thoughts  of  God  are  beyond  the  comprehen- 
sion of  man. 

Since  tliose  times  when  the  spirit  of  enthusiasm  and  relig- 
ious zeal  animated  the  Mormon  missionaries  and  teachers,  and 
stirred  up  the  Saints  who  listened  to  them  to  emulate  in  faith- 
fulness the  Christians  of  the  Early  Church,  a  great  change 
has  come  over  everything  connected  with  the  doctrines  which 
were  then  taught  and  practiced. 

Several  years  after  the  occurrence  of  the  events  which  I 
have  just  narrated,  when  we  had  been  for  a  considerable  time 
resident  in  Salt  Lake  City,  our  faith  in  the  miraculous  gift  of 
healing  was  still  so  strong  that  we  suffered  one  of  our  children 
to  lie  almost  at  the  door  of  death  before  we  would  dare  to  call 
in  medical  assistance,  and  when,  at  length,  love  for  our  suffer- 
ing child  overcame,  to  a  certain  extent,  our  scruples,  it  was 
under  protest  and  with  many  an  effort  to  silence  the  voice  of  a 
falsely-accusing  conscience,  that  my  husband  reluctantly  went 
for  the  physician. 

Now — so  great  are  the  changes  which  the  influx  of  Gentiles 
and  more  intimate  contact  with  the  advanced  civilisation  of  the 
age  have  produced — there  is  not  one  of  the  most  pious  leaders 
of  the  Church — including  Brother  Brigham  (who  but  a  very 
little  while  ago  denounced  such  a  course  as  the  first  step 
towards  rank  apostasy) — who  would  not  call  in,  if  it  appeared 
needful,  the  very  best  medical  assistance — whether  Mormon 
or  Gentile — which  could  be  procured.  And  yet  Brigham, 
despite  his  notorious  inconsistencies,  lays  claim  to  an  "  Infalli- 
ble Priesthood  !" 

The  Saints,  in  theory,  still  cling  to  the  first  teachings  of  the 
Church  ;  but,  if  the  truth  must  be  told,  not  only  does  "  iniquity 
abound,"  but  "  the  love  of  many  has  waxed  cold." 



Meeting  a  Living  "  Apostle  " — The  London  Conference — What  I  Expected— ^ 
Four  Apostles  at  One  Time — The  Charms  of  a  Priestly  Life — Leading  About 
a  "  Sister  " — The  "  Mystery  of  Godliness  " — Imitating  Solomon — The  Form- 
ation of  a  "  Branch  " — Doing  the  Work  of  the  Lord — The  Apostle  Lorenzo 
Snow — An  Argument  by  the  Way — Silent  Snow — The  Apostle  Snow  Thaws 
at  the  Right  Time — How  a  Convenient  Revelation  was  Thrice  Received — 
Unwilling  Consent — A  Cruel  Wrong — He  Would  be  Five  Years  Away — The 
Conference  Organised — A  Mission  to  Italy — A  Pleasant  Position  for  a  Wife — 
The  Vicissitudes  of  a  Year — God's  Mercy  a  Safe  Trust — A  Valedictory  Pic- 
nic— Not  Far  From  Netley  Abbey — Bidding  Good-bye  to  the  Missionaries — 
My  Ideas  of  My  Husband's  Work — Mary  Suggests  a  New  Idea — What  She 
Said — "I'm  Not  a  Little  Girl" — "I  Kissed  Her,  and  Continued" — All,  all 
False — Elder  Stenhouse  Departs  for  Italy — Italy  is  the  End  of  Our  Miserable 
Hopes — How  the  Missionaries  Departed — I  Bid  Adieu  to  My  Husband. 

ABOUT  three  months  after  our  marriage  it  was  rumored 
that  four  of  the  Twelve  Apostles  had  been  appointed  to 
foreign  missions,  and  were  then  on  their  way  to  England. 

The  Saints  in  Britain  had  been  for  several  years  without 
any  missionaries  direct  from  the  body  of  the  church,  and  the 
announcement  of  this  foi'eign  mission  was  hailed  with  joy, 

I  confess  to  experiencing  much  pleasure  at  the  thought  of 
becoming  acquainted  with  a  living  Apostle.  How  often  in  my 
girlhood  I  had  wished  that  I  had  lived  when  men  inspired  of 
God  walked  the  earth.  What  a  joy,  I  thought,  it  would  have 
been  to  have  listened  to  the  wisdom  of  such  teachers.  Now 
the  time  was  near  when  I  should  realise  all  the  happiness  of 
my  day-dreams — when  I  should  really  have  the  privilege  of 
conversing  with  those  chosen  men  of  God.  The  invitation, 
therefore,  to  meet  the  conference  in  London  on  the  first  of 
June,  was  very  welcome  intelligence. 


It  must  not,  however,  be  supposed  that  I  expected  to  find 
in  them  anything  which  would  place  them  out  of  the  ordinary 
pale  of  humanity.  I  knew  that  the  Apostles  of  our  Lord  were 
very  ordinary  men,  who  in  their  day  pursued  the  common 
avocations  of  life.  Their  charm  and  glory  consisted  only  in 
the  fact  that  the  spirit  of  God  rested  upon  them,  guiding 
them  in  all  their  ways.  These  men  who  now  were  coming  to 
England  were,  I  firmly  believed,  as  true  Apostles  as  any  who 
ever  saw  Christ  in  the  flesh  ;  but  they,  like  the  chosen  ones 
of  old,  had  also  the  gift  of  inspiration,  and  were  consecrated 
and  set  apart  specially,  by  direct  revelation  from  on  high,  to 
perform  a  great  and  glorious  work.  But  though  I  did  not 
expect  to  find  them  differ,  either  in  appearance  or  in  ordinary 
conversation,  much  from  their  brethren,  I  expected  to  find  in 
them  grave  and  very  earnest  men,  and  I  certainly  did  experi- 
ence a  sense  of  disappointment  when,  in  all  their  conversa- 
tion and  in  all  their  doings,  I  found  that  American  Prophets 
and  Apostles  were,  after  all,  very  much  like  other  men. 

We  went  to  the  London  Conference — my  husband  and  I — 
and  there  for  the  first  time  I  met  with  Apostles,  who  were  also 
Prophets,  and  Priests,  and  High-priests,  and  Teachers,  and 
Elders,  and  Deacons — all  assembled  in  solemn  convocation. 

The  four  Apostles  whom  I  met  at  that  time  were  John  Tay- 
lor, Lorenzo  Snow,  Erastus  Snow,  and  Franklin  D.  Richards 
— pleasant  and  agreeable  men,  and  withal  very  fair  specimens 
of  Mormon  missionaries,  who  had  found  favor  in  the  eyes  of 
Brigham  Young  and  of  the  leaders  in  Zion,  and  who  had 
been  promoted  accordingly.  They  lived  comfortably,  wore 
the  finest  broadcloth,  fashionably  cut,  and  were  not  averse  to 
gold  chains,  and  charms,  and  signet-rings,  and  other  personal 
adornments.  They  put  on  no  particular  airs,  were  as  polite 
and  attentive  to  ladies  as  gentlemen  always  are,  and  could  go 
to  a  theatre  or  any  other  place  of  amusement  without  hesita- 
tion. I  afterwards  discovered  that  in  one  particular,  at  least, 
if  not  in  all,  they  resembled  the  early  Apostles,  for  they  too 
could,  like  St.  Paul,  "  lead  about  a  sister "  without  any  com- 
punctions of  conscience. 


At  that  time  I  had  not  become  acquainted  with  the  Mor- 
mon "  mystery  of  godhness,"  and  w&s  far  from  suspecting 
these  pleasant  American  Apostles  of  having  even  the  slightest 
inclination  to  imitate  King  Solomon  or  the  patriarchs  in  their 
domestic  habits.     That  was  to  be  a  discovery  of  later  date. 

I  do  not  care  to  describe  this  London  Conference,  as  it  was 
very  much  like  any  other  meeting  of  the  same  kind.  It  had 
been  specially  called  for  the  purpose  of  welcoming  the  four 
newly-arrived  Apostles.  Saints  from  every  part  of  Britain 
were  assembled,  and  a  good  deal  of  enthusiasm  was  mani- 
fested. Hymns  and  prayers  were  interspersed  with  speeches, 
and  business  details  of  all  kinds  were  fully  entered  into. 

The  Southampton  Saints  had  hitherto  formed  only  a  branch 
of  the  London  Conference,  but  did  not  form  a  conference  of 
their  own.  It  was  now  resolved  that  since  so  large  a  number 
had  recently  been  baptized  in  Hampshire,  the  several  branches 
of  the  church  there  should  be  organised  into  a  special  confer- 
ence at  Southampton,  with  Elder  Stenhouse  as  its  president ; 
and  the  Sunday  following  was  appointed  for  that  purpose, 
when  the  Apostle  Snow,  en  route  to  Italy — to  which  country 
he  had  just  been  appointed  missionary — would  honor  the 
occasion  with  his  presence. 

As  we  returned,  some  gentlemen  in  the  same  railway  car- 
riage, to  while  away  the  time,  I  suppose,  entered  into  a  relig- 
ious discussion.  What  the  subject  was  I  do  not  now  remem- 
ber, but  I  can  recollect  that  a  good  deal  was  said  as  to  which 
of  all  the  numerous  Christian  sects  really  possessed  divine 
authority.  Elder  Stenhouse  took  an  active  part  in  the  argu- 
ment, and  being,  like  all  the  Mormon  missionaries  at  that 
time,  very  well  posted  in  Scriptural  discussions,  he  attracted 
considerable  attention,  and  was  much  complimented  by  sev- 
eral persons  present. 

The  Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow  was  silent  all  the  time,  but  he 
took  note  of  all  that  passed.  Elder  Stenhouse  was  a  man  of 
great  zeal  and  untiring  energy — qualities  in  which  perhaps 
Brother  Snow  felt  himself  a  little  deficient ;  and  he  was  going 
on  a  mission  which  required  unflagging  devotion  and  perse- 

SENT    ON    A    MISSION    TO    ITALY.  93 

verance.  We  had  not  been  an  hour  at  home,  before  he  told 
my  husband  that  the  Lord  had  tliricc  revealed  to  him  that  he 
should  accompany  him  to  Italy !  How  often — even  while  I 
still  clung  to  Mormonism — did  it  appear  strange  to  me  that 
the  "  revelations "  of  distinguished  Saints  should  so  fre- 
quently coincide  with  their  own  personal  wishes,  and  come 
at  such  convenient  times. 

I  had  laid  aside  my  travelling  dress,  and  was  hastening  to 
provide  some  refreshment  for  the  Apostle,  when  my  husband 
came  and  told  me  of  the  revelation  which  had  been  so  oppor- 
tunely received.  I  was  at  that  time  as  much  an  enthusiast  as 
Elder  Stenhouse  himself,  and  I  felt  honored  that  my  husband 
should  be  the  first  English  elder  appointed  to  a  foreign  mis- 
sion. Here  was  the  fulfilment  of  my  ambition  that  we 
should  be  in  the  forefront  of  the  battle,  and  should  obtain 
distinction  as  zealous  servants  of  God.  But  at  what  a  cost 
was  this  ambition  purchased !  My  poor,  weak  heart  sickened 
at  the  thought — I  had  been  but  four  months  married. 

When  the  Apostle  asked  me  if  I  were  willing  that  Elder 
Stenhouse  should  go  to  Italy,  I  answered  "  Yes,"  though  I 
felt  that  my  heart  would  break.  I  remembered  that  in  my 
first  transport  of  joy  and  gratitude  after  being  baptized,  I  had 
made  a  covenant  with  the  Lord  that  I  would  do  anything 
which  he  might  require  of  me,  and  I  dared  not  rebel  or  break 
that  vow.  Oh,  the  agony  that  fell  upon  my  young  heart ;  it 
seemed  that  the  weight  of  a  mountain  rested  upon  it  when  I 
was  told  that  my  husband  might  be  five  years  absent.  He 
had  already  been  five  years  a  travelling  elder,  without  a  home, 
trusting  for  daily  bread  to  the  voluntary  kindness  of  the 
Saints.  He  had  labored  faithfully,  and  looked  forward  to  the 
day  when  his  "  conference "  should  be  established,  and  he 
could  count  upon  an  improvement  in  his  temporal  position, 
and  an  early  call  to  emigrate  to  Zion.  In  the  few  months 
that  I  had  been  his  wife,  it  was  only  natural  that  I  should 
share  his  hopes  ;  but  just  at  the  moment  when  they  were 
about  to  be  realised,  hopes  and  expectations  were  scattered  to 
the  winds. 


On  the  following  day  the  Saints  assembled,  the  Southamp- 
ton Conference  was  organised,  and  Elder  Stenhouse  elected 
its  president.  Ten  minutes  later  he  was  publicly  appointed 
by  the  Apostle  on  a  mission  to  Italy. 

In  one  short  year  what  changes  I  had  seen.  I  had  relin- 
quished a  happy  home  in  France  and  forsaken  the  friends  of 
my  youth  ;  I  had  set  aside  an  alliance  that  promised  wealth 
and  honor,  to  embrace  a  faith  that  was  everywhere  ridiculed, 
and  to  cast  in  my  lot  among  a  people  universally  regarded  as 
dupes  and  fools  ;  I  had  married  a  missionary  elder  who  could 
offer  me  nothing  but  toil  and  privation  ;  and  now  to  complete 
the  changes  of  an  eventful  year,  my  husband  was  about  to 
leave  me — probably  for  five  years,  and  in  fact  it  was  very  pos- 
sible that  I  might  never  see  him  again.  All  this  for  faith — a 
faith  no  doubt  mistaken,  but  certainly  sincere. 

During  the  few  days  which  intervened  between  the  time 
when  Elder  Stenhouse  received  his  appointment,  to  the  hour 
of  his  departure,  I  enjoyed  but  little  of  his  society.  Arrang- 
ing the  affairs  of  the  conference  which  he  was  leaving,  and 
preparation  for  his  mission,  fully  occupied  his  attention.  I 
do  not  think  we  either  of  us  uttered  a  word,  when  alone 
together,  respecting  the  future  that  was  before  us.  It  was 
probably  better  that  we  did  not.  There  are  moments  of  our 
life  when  silence  is  better  than  speech,  and  it  is  safer  to  trust 
in  the  mercy  of  God  than  try  to  shape  our  own  destiny. 

The  Saints  are  noted  for  the  fraternal  spirit  which  exists 
among  them.  There  are,  of  course,  exceptions ;  but,  as  a  rule, 
every  Mormon  is  willing  to  help  his  brother  in  the  faith,  act- 
ing upon  the  principle,  "  One  is  your  Master,  even  Christ : 
and  all  ye  are  brethren."  The  Southampton  Saints  were  no 
exception  to  this  rule,  but  showed  their  kindness  both  to  my 
husband  and  myself  in  a  thousand  little  ways.  I  have  spoken 
of  my  unhappiness  during  that  week  of  preparation,  but  I 
must  not  forget  that  there  were  gleams  of  hope  in  the  dark- 
ness. One  occasion  I  shall  never  forget — a  pic-nic  which  our 
friends  held  as  a  kind  of  valedictory  feast  in  honor  of  the 
missionaries — of  Elder  Stenhouse  in  particular. 


Right  up  the  Southampton  River,  not  far  from  Netley 
Abbey,  is  a  pleasant  and  picturesque  spot  named  Bittern, 
which  I  need  not  too  particularly  describe,  although  the 
memory  of  its  beauty  recalls  recollections  of  mingled  sadness 
and  pleasure  to  my  mind.  There  my  parents  now  lived,  and 
thither  it  was  proposed  our  friends  should  go.  They  could 
obtain  all  they  needed  for  the  pic-nic  at  my  father's  house, 
and  we  could  take  our  good  things  into  the  woods  and  enjoy 
ourselves  as  we  pleased.  We  had  a  very  happy  time — for  the 
moment,  even  /  forgot  the  cloud  that  was  hanging  over  me, 
and  our  dear  friends  not  only  enjoyed  themselves  to  the 
utmost,  but  seemed  bent  upon  making  the  time  pass  pleas- 
antly to  everyone  else. 

I  had  been  talking  to  Sister  White  about  the  recent  doings 
of  the  Saints,  the  establishment  of  the  conference  and  the 
sending  away  of  Elder  Stenhouse.  I  wanted  Sister  White,  as 
in  fact  I  wanted  everyone  else,  to  think  that  I  was  perfectly 
happy  in  the  separation,  and  that  I  counted  my  feelings  as 
a  wife  as  nothing  when  placed  in  the  balance  against  my  duty 
as  a  missionary,  and  I  tried  to  impress  upon  her  how  proud  I 
was  that  my  husband  should  be  the  first  English  Elder 
entrusted  with  a  foreign  mission.  We  talked  together  a  great 
deal.  She  was  still  quite  a  young  woman,  though  married, 
and  the  mother  of  four  darling  little  children  ;  but  probably 
she  had  a  better  experience  than  I  had  and  could  see  through 
my  attempts  to  stifle  my  natural  feelings,  while  at  the  same 
time  she  sympathised  with  me.  She  spoke  very  kindly  to 
me ;  and  as  we  talked,  we  wandered  inadvertently  away  from 
the  rest  of  the  party.  Suddenly  she  thought  of  her  little  boy, 
and,  mother-like,  thinking  he  might  be  in  danger,  ran  off  to 
find  where  he  was,  promising  to  come  back  immediately. 

I  sat  down  upon  the  grass  to  await  her  return.  I  was 
somewhat  exxited  by  the  conversation  which  had  passed 
between  us  ;  but  as  I  sat  musing  my  agitation  began  to  cool 
down  and  I  was  soon  lost  in  thought  and  did  not  notice  that 
I  was  not  alone. 

I  did  not  hear  the  light  footsteps  near  me,  and  did  not  see 


my  fairy  friend,  as  I  called  her,  pass  between  me  and  the  sun. 
But  a  tiny  hand  was  laid  gently  on  my  shoulder,  and  looking 
up  I  saw  the  loving  eyes  of  Mary  Burton  looking  straight 
down  into  mine. 

"  Where  have  you  been,  dear } "  I  asked,  "  Why,  I  have 
hardly  seen  you  all  the  day." 

"  But  I  knew  you  were  here,"  she  said,  "  and  I  thought  you 
were  alone — and  I  wanted  to  see  you  and  talk  with  you." 

"  Come  and  sit  down  beside  me,  Mary,"  I  said,  "  and  let  us 
have  a  little  chat  together."  Then  I  drew  her  gently  towards 
me,  and  she  sat  down  by  my  side.  For  a  few  moments  we 
said  nothing,  but  I  was  watching  her,  and  waiting  to  hear 
what  she  would  say.  She  seemed  such  a  pretty,  such  a 
sweet  and  gentle  girl — more  like  one  of  those  little  birds  of 
glorious  plumage  and  thrilling  song  that  we  see  glittering 
among  the  dew-drops  and  the  dancing  leaves,  than  a  child  of 
earth.  And  I  pitied  her  for  her  beauty,  for  such  beauty  is  a 
snare ;  and  I  wondered  whether  her  innocent  soul  was  as  fair 
and  glorious  before  God  as  her  face  was  sweet  to  me  ;  and  I 
asked  whether,  in  years  to  come,  when  the  glory  of  her  child- 
ish radiance  had  passed  away,  the  brightness  of  a  soul  pure 
and  serene  would  lend  a  new  beauty  to  her  features — the 
beauty  not  of  childish  innocence  but  of  a  noble  womanhood. 

I  took  her  hand  in  mine,  and  asked  her  some  trifling  ques- 
tion ;  but  she  did  not  answer.  Suddenly  she  looked  up  full 
into  my  face  and  said,  "  Sister  Stenhouse  ;  I'm  very,  very  sorry 
for  you." 

"  Sorry  for  me,  dear  ?  "  I  said,  "  IV/^jy  should  you  be  sorry  ? 
I  am  not  sad." 

"  You  shouldn't  say  so,"  she  replied,  "  you  know  in  your 
heart  you  are  sad,  although  you  don't  say  so.  It's  a  fine 
thing,  no  doubt,  for  Elder  Stenhouse  to  go  away,  though  for 
my  part  I'd  rather  stop  at  home  if  I  loved  any  one  there,  and 
at-any-rate,  you  must  feel  sorry  that  he  is  going  away  so  far, 
if  you  love  him." 

"  But  Mary,"  I  said,  "  you  know  it  is  his  duty  to  go,  and  he 
has  been  called  to  it  by  the  Apostle,  and  it  is  a  great  honor." 


«  Oh  yes,  I  know  that,"  she  repHed — "  I  know  that."  Then 
we  relapsed  into  silence  for  some  few  moments.  Presently- 
drawing  nearer  to  me,  she  said  again  quite  suddenly,  "  Sister 
Stenhouse,  do  you  know  the  meaning  of  the  word  Polygamy  l'' 

"  Why,  what  a  funny  question  to  ask  me,  child ! "  I  ex- 

"  Child,  you  call  me,  Sister  Stenhouse,  but  I'm  not  a  child — 
at  least  not  quite  a  child — I  shall  be  fifteen  next  birthday." 

"  Well  dear,"  I  said,  "  I  did  not  mean  to  offend  you  ;  and 
I  call  you  '  child '  because  I  love  you  ;  but  you  asked  me  such 
a  strange  question  and  used  such  a  strange  word." 

This  was  quite  true,  for  at  that  time  the  word  Polygamy 
was  as  seldom  used  as  the  word  'polyandry,'  or  any  other 
word  signifying  a  state  of  things  with  which  we  have  nothing 
to  do. 

"  I'm  not  offended,"  she  said,  "  only  people  have  a  way  of 
treating  me  as  if  I  were  only  such  a  very  little  girl : — I  sup- 
pose I  look  so." 

She  certainly  did  look  so,  and  I  suppose  she  read  my 
thoughts.  Womanhood,  by  and  by,  brought  to  her  more  of 
reality  both  in  face  and  figure  as  well  as  in  the  terrible  facts 
of  life  ;  but  at  that  time  the  term  "  little  fairy,"  which  I  have 
so  often  used  respecting  her,  seemed  the  most  appropriate. 
The  meaning  of  that  terrible  word  "  Polygamy "  she  under- 
stood, in  later  years,  fully  as  well  as  I  did. 

"  Well  dear,"  I  said,  "  Why  did  you  ask  me  that  strange 
question  .-' " 

"  You  must  promise  not  to  be  angry  with  me  if  I  tell  you," 
she  answered,  "  and  yet  I  think  you  ought  to  know." 

I  readily  promised — what  could  I  have  refused  her } — and 
she  said  : 

"  The  other  day  two  of  the  Sisters  were  at  our  house — I 
may  not  tell  you  their  names  for  fear  of  making  mischief — • 
and  they  were  talking  together  between  themselves  and  did 
not  notice  that  I  was  present^or  else  they  didn't  care.  And 
I  heard  one  of  them  tell  the  other  that  she  had  heard  secretly 
that  in  Zion  men  were  allowed  to  have  many  wives,  and  she 

98  "SHE    WAS    NOT    CONVINCED." 

Used  that  word  "  Polygamy "  very  often,  and  said  that  was 
what  the  people  of  the  world  called  it." 

"  Well,  Mary  dear,"  I  replied,  "  that  is  no  great  secret.  We 
have  all  heard  that  said  before.  Wicked  people  who  hate  the 
Gospel  say  that,  and  a  great  deal  more,  in  order  to  bring 
scandal  upon  the  Church  ;  but  of  course  it  isn't  true." 

"  Ah,  but  I  haven't  told  you  all,"  she  said,  "  the  sisters  had 
a  long  talk  about  it  and  they  explained  who  they  heard  it 
from,  and  it  was  from  no  one  outside  the  Church  ;  and  then 
one  of  them  said  that  Elder  Stenhouse  had  heard  all  about  it 
and  knew  it  was  true,  only  of  course  he  did  not  talk  about 
such  things  yet ;  but  that  the  time  would  come  when  every- 
one would  acknowledge  it,  and  all  the  Saints  would  have 
many  wives.  I  was  frightened  when  I  heard  this,  and  very 
angry — for  I  thought  of  you — and  I  spoke  to  her  and  said  it 
was  all  untrue  and  I'd  ask  Elder  Stenhouse ;  and  they 
scolded  me  very  much  for  saying  so,  and  said  it  was  very 
wicked  for  a  child  to  listen,  and  that  was  why  I  did  not  like 
you  to  call  me  *  child.'  " 

"  Well  darling,"  I  said,  "  I'll  not  offend  you  any  more  in 
that  way — and  it  was  very  good  of  you  to  tell  me  anything 
you  thought  I  ought  to  know."  Then  I  kissed  her,  and  con- 
tinued :  "  But,  after  all,  I  don't  think  it's  of  any  consequence. 
It's  the  old  scandal,  just  as  in  the  early  days  they  said  wicked 
things  of  Christ  and  His  apostles.  Elder  Stenhouse  knows  all 
that  people  say,  but  he  has  told  me  again  and  again  that  there 
is  not  a  word  of  truth  in  it,  and  I  believe  him." 

"  You  think  so.  Sister  Stenhouse,"  she  replied,  "  and  I  sup- 
pose I  ought  to  think  so  too,  but  if  it's  all  false  how  did 
people  first  begin  to  think  of  it  ?  People  don't  say  that  the 
Mormons  are  murderers  or  thieves,  because  we  have  given 
them  no  reason  to  think  so.  Then  why  should  they  think  of 
such  an  unheard-of  thing  as  Polygamy — surely  there  must 
have  been  so  we  reason.     Don't  you  think  so  .-* " 

"  No,  dear,"  I  answered,  "  Elder  Stenhouse  says  that  some 
very  wicked  men  have  sometimes  joined  the  Church,  and 
have  done  all  manner  of  shocking  things,  so  that  they  had  to 


be  cut  off,  and  then  they  went  about  trying  to  make  other 
people  believe  that  the  Mormons  were  as  wicked  as  they 
were.  There  was  John  C.  Bennett  who  lived  a  frightful  life 
at  Nauvoo,  and  then  tried  to  make  out  that  Joseph  Smith 
was  as  bad  as  he  was.  And  Marsh,  the  president  of  the 
twelve  apostles,  and  Orson  Hyde,  when  they  apostatised  not 
only  said  bad  things  of  Joseph,  but  took  affidavit  and  swore 
solemnly  before  the  magistrates  that  the  prophet  had  been 
guilty  of  the  most  fearful  crimes." 

I  kissed  her  again,  and  she  said,  "  Well,  perhaps  you  are 
right " ;  but  I  could  see  that  in  her  heart  she  was  not 

Then  we  talked  of  ourselves  and  all  that  interested  us,  and 
she  told  me  all  her  childish  hopes  and  ambitions ;  and  to  me — 
young  as  I  was  myself — it  was  pleasant  to  listen  to  her  in- 
nocent prattle.  She  promised  to  come  and  see  me  when 
Elder  Stenhouse  had  gone  and  I  should  be  left  alone ;  and 
when  we  got  back  to  the  rest  of  the  party  we  were  as  firm 
friends  as  if  we  had  known  each  other  a  lifetime. 

At  midnight,  Saturday,  June  15th,  1850,  the  steamer  left 
Southampton  for  Havre-de-Grace,  bearing  on  board  the  first 
two  Mormon  Missionaries  to  Italy — one  of  them  was  my 

The  Saints  had  called  in  the  evening  to  bid  Elder  Sten- 
house good-bye,  and  as  he  was,  of  course,  to  travel  "without 
purse  or  scrip,"  they  vied  with  each  other  in  showing  their 
appreciation  of  his  position  and  his  devotion  to  the  faith. 
The  poorest  among  them  would  not  be  denied  the  privilege 
of  contributing  their  mites  to  aid  in  the  conversion  of  the 
Italians,  and  none  of  the  brethren  felt  that  they  could  show  too 
much  kindness  to  the  departing  missionary.  Just  in  this  way 
have  all  the  foreign  missions  of  the  Mormon  Church  been 
projected  and  sustained  ;  the  elements  of  success  were  always 
present — devotion  and  self-abnegation  on  the  part  of  the 
missionaries,  and  an  earnest,  self-sacrificing  disposition  on  the 
part  of  the  people,  commanding  respect,  however  erroneous 
or  foolish  the  foundation  of  their  faith. 


100  THE    LORD    WILL    PROVIDE. 

In  the  bustle  of  departure,  Mr.  Stenhouse  seemed  never  to 
have  thought  about  himself,  and  certainly  he  made  no  prepara- 
tion for  me.  I  had  full  confidence  in  him,  however,  and  loved 
him  devotedly,  and  knew  that  my  love  was  returned.  But 
men  who  look  for  miracles,  and  count  upon  special  providen- 
ces for  daily  bread,  are  not  generally  very  prudent  or  far- 
seeing  in  their  domestic  arrangements.  Elder  Stenhouse  had 
been  told  that  "the  Lord  would  provide,"  and  it  therefore 
seemed  to  him  superfluous  that  he  should  interfere  ;  it  would 
have  been  a  lack  of  faith  to  have  shown  too  much  interest  in 
what  might  become  of  me.     He  left  me  with  only  £1. 

I  now  realised  the  loneliness  of  my  position, — there  was  no 
earthly  friend  to  whom  I  could  turn  for  sympathy  at  a  time 
like  this.  Before  my  Heavenly  Father  alone  I  could  pour  out 
the  bitterness  of  my  soul  and  all  my  griefs,  and  ia  His  pres- 
ence weep  and  pray. 



The  Italian  Mission — A  Saint's  Responsibility- — Obliging  a  Friend — The 
Pains  and  Penalties  of  a  Saintly  Lite — My  Letters  to  my  Husband — The 
Whisperings  of  the  Coming  Storm — Polygamy  Denied — The  Wretched  Sub- 
terfuges of  Certain  Elders — The  Lying  Basis  of  Polygamy — What  Apostle 
Taylor  said — My  Personal  Experience — How  Polygamy  was  Introduced 
among  the  Saints — I  want  to  find  My  own  Groove — Suffering  for  Con- 
science Sake — Lonely  Contemplation  of  a  Weary  Soul — The  American  Apos- 
tles— "Without  Purse  or  Scrip" — The  Swiss  Mission — My  own  Enthusi- 
asm— My  Darling  Clara — Lighting  the  "  load"  of  Love — Mary  Burton's  Love 
Affairs — The  Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow — Missionary  Work — I  Bear  my  own 
Troubles  Alone — The  Difficulties  of  Missionary  Work — A  Shoemaker  who 
respected  his  Soul — Work  Indefatigable — Le  Govemeur  de  L'  Hopital — 
Our  New  Convert — Days  of  Poverty- — Practical  Faith — How  we  Endured — 
The  Darkness  which  Proceeds  the  Dawn — The  Suffering  of  all  who  Work 
to  Win. 

"IT  THEN  the  Apostle  Snow  called  upon  Mr.  Stenhouse  to 
V  V     go  to  Italy,  the  Saints  willingly  accepted  the  responsi- 
bility of  providing  for  me  during  his  absence. 

They  thought  it  was  more  an  honor  than  a  burden  to  have 
this  charge  committed  to  them ;  but  it  was  very  humiliating  to 
me  to  be  placed  in  such  a  position,  however  anxious  they 
might  be  to  assist  me  and  to  serve  the  general  cause.  To 
face  opposition  or  to  give  my  all  for  my  religion,  I  was  willing 
indeed  ;  but  to  depend  upon  others  for  my  daily  bread  was 
utterly  repugnant  to  my  feelings,  although,  of  course,  if  the 
Church  sent  away  my  husband,  whose  proper  place  and  duty 
it  was  to  support  his  family,  it  was  only  right  that  the  mem- 
bers of  that  Church  should  undertake  the  responsibility.     But 


then,  and  at  many  other  times  during  my  Hfe,  I  have  learned 
the  truth  of  Christ's  precept  "  It  is  more  blessed  to  give  than 
to  receive." 

The  American  Apostle  was  not  without  worldly  wisdom 
when  he  proposed  that  an  unmarried  man  should  be  appointed 
to  preside  over  the  Southampton  conference,  as  his  wants 
would  be  few.  But  Mr.  Stenhouse  had  been  solicited  by  a 
friend  who  had  a  wife  and  children,  to  secure  his  appoint- 
ment, and  with  ready  confidence  in  that  friend,  he  overlooked 
his  own  interests  and  my  welfare,  and  I  was  left  to  pass 
through  trials  and  privations  which  I  can  never  forget. 

The  Saints  were  very  kind,  and  took  pleasure  in  doing  all 
they  could  for  me  ;  but  the  mistake  which  my  husband  com- 
mitted in  leaving  his  friend  to  succeed  him  as  president  of  the 
conference  was  soon  apparent.  The  '  friend  '  thought  of  his 
own  family  first,  and  the  family  required  all  that  the  Saints 
could  reasonably  be  expected  to  contribute,  and  even  then 
they  had  not  enough.  I  therefore  received  only  such  little 
sums  as  could  be  withheld  from  them,  and  to  make  the 
matter  worse  those  who  had  any  property  or  estate  were 
counselled  to  sell  all  and  "  gather  to  Zion."  The  more  weal- 
thy Saints  were  soon  gone,  and  the  current  expenses  of  the 
church  fell  heavily  upon  those  who  were  hardly  able  to  sup- 
port their  own  families. 

They  tried  to  send  me  something  every  week,  and  I  have 
no  doubt  they  did  send  me  all  that  they  could.  When  their 
contributions  reached  four  or  five  shilhngs  (about  $i)  I 
thought  myself  fortunate  ;  more  often  I  did  not  receive  the 
value  of  fifty  cents  in  the  whole  week,  at  times  less,  and  some- 
times nothing  at  all.  That  unfailing  comfort  to  respectable 
English  poverty — a  cup  of  tea — was  my  greatest  luxury,  but 
at  times  for  weeks  together  I  had  not  even  that  ;  I  had  no- 
thing but  bread — but  I  never  complained. 

Whenever  it  was  possible  I  concealed  my  true  situation 
from  every  one,  and  in  my  almost  daily  letters  to  my  husband 
not  a  shadow  of  a  hint  was  ever  dropped  relative  to  my  own 
privations.     I  wanted  him  to  be  successful  in  his  mission, 


and  I  feared  that  his  energy  would  desert  him  if  he  knew  of  my 
difficulties.  I  was  in  extreme  poverty,  certainly,  but  for  my- 
self I  was  not  in  trouble.  God  would  provide  for  me,  I  felt, 
and  it  was  glorious  to  suffer  in  a  sacred  cause. 

But  darker  days — days  of  severer  trial,  were  creeping  slowly 
near  me.  Up  to  this  time  I  had  worshipped  God  and  loved 
my  husband  with  a  perfect  heart.  Now  the  dark  shadow  of 
an  accursed  thing  was  looming  in  the  distance,  but  approach- 
ing surely  if  slowly.  The  strange  suggestions  made  by  dar- 
ling little  Mary  Burton  at  the  pic-nic,  were  not  the  first 
whisperings  that  I  had  heard  of  a  probable  change  in  our 
faith  and  practice  respecting  marriage,  though  I  did  not  care 
to  tell  her  so.  Others  had  spoken  in  my  presence  of  the 
same  subject,  but  I  had  not  believed  them.  I  had  ques- 
tioned my  husband,  and  his  answers  had  reassured  me. 

Although  Polygamy  was  utterly  denied  by  the  Missionaries 
in  Europe,  yet  long  before  it  was  openly  avowed  a  great  deal 
was  written  and  said  on  the  subject.  Joseph  Smith,  whatever 
he  said  and  did  in  private,  always  denied  it  in  public,  and  after 
his  death  the  leaders  of  the  Church  followed  his  example. 
In  some  way,  however,  an  idea  had  got  abroad  that  the  Mor- 
mons were  somewhat  unsound  respecting  the  marriage  ques- 
tion. Still  the  elders  stoutly  denied  the  charge,  and  the 
more  they  were  accused  the  more  strenuous  became  their 

At  a  public  discussion  at  Boulogne-sur-mer  in  France,  the 
Apostle  John  Taylor,  in  reply  to  the  accusations  of  Polygamy 
which  were  brought  against  him,  said  : 

"  We  are  accused  here  of  actions  the  most  indelicate  and  disgusting,  such 
as  none  but  a  corrupt  and  depraved  heart  could  have  contrived.     These  things 

were  too  outrageous  to  admit  of  belief. I  shall  content  myself 

with  quoting  our  views   of  chastity  and   marriage  from  a  work   published  by  us, 
containing  some  of  our  articles  of  faith — Doctrine  and  Covenants." 

He  then  proceeded  to  quote  from  the  Book  of  Doctrine  and 
Covenants  "  such  passages  as  the  following  : — 

"  Marriage  is  ordained  by  God  unto  man  ;  wherefore  it  is  lawful  that  he 
should  have  one  wife,  and  they  huahi  should  be  otie  flesh,     [p.  218]. 


He  quoted  many  other  things  also,  among  which  might  be 
enumerated  the  following  : 

"  Thou  shalt  love  thy  wife  with  all  thy  heart,  and  shalt  cleave  unto  her, 
and  none  else." 

He  quoted  also  many  other  passages  of  Scripture  which  had 
reference  to  the  subject; — each  powerful  to  put  aside  even 
the  idea  of  polygamy  ;  and  each  equally  powerful  as  an  argu- 
ment against  polygamy  itself. 

Let  the  reader  here  note  the  value  of  what  Mormons  say 
when  their  faith  is  called  in  question  : — See  and  judge  : — 

Brother  Taylor,  who  spoke  at  that  meeting,  and  utterly 
denied  polygamy,  had  himself — at  that  very  moment  when  he 
so  atrociously  perjured  himself  and  when  he  swore  that  no 
Mormon  had  more  than  one  wife — -five  wives  living  in  Salt 
Lake  City  :  One  of  his  friends  there  present  had  two  wives  ; 
and  the  other  was  married  to  a  mother  and  her  own 
daughter  ! 

Any  conclusion,  any  expression  of  disgust  at  these  abomin- 
ations and  deliberate  perjuries,  I  leave  to  the  reader. 

Among  those  who  came  to  see  Mr.  Stenhouse  before  he 
left  for  Italy,  was  Elder  Margetts,  an  English  elder  of  some 
prominence  in  the  British  mission.  At  the  pic-nic,  of  which 
I  have  already  spoken,  I  noticed  that  this  elder  was  more  than 
usually  attentive  to  a  pretty  young  sister  who  was  also  pres- 
ent. There  was  always  an  affectionate  familiarity  among  the 
Saints  ;  as  I  previously  mentioned,  they  were  like  brothers 
and  sisters,  and  addressed  each  other  as  such.  But  the  atten- 
tions of  the  elder  I  speak  of  pointed  a  little  beyond  all  this. 
He  could  not,  perhaps,  be  accused  of  any  open  impropriety, 
but  he  certainly  looked  much  more  like  the  girl's  lover  than 
an  ordinary  friend  or  her  spiritual  adviser. 

I  knew  this  Elder's  family  in  London,  and  his  conduct 
pained  me  a  good  deal.  So  I  drew  the  attention  of  my  hus- 
band to  the  circumstance,  and  he  said  the  Elder  was  foolish 
but  he  would  speak  to  them  both  ;  and  this  he  did. 

After  the  departure  of  the  missionaries,  this  elder  remained 
for  several  days.     He  then  returned  to  London,  but  it  was  not 


long  before  he  was  again  in  Southampton,  and  he  still  paid 
marked  attention  to  the  same  young  sister.  This  caused  un- 
pleasant remarks  among  the  Saints,  who  at  this  time  cer- 
tainly did  not  believe  that  polygamy  was  practiced  in 

At  a  later  date  this  Elder,  with  some  others,  was  again  in 
Southampton,  and  I  was  invited  to  take  tea  with  them  at  the 
house  of  one  of  the  Saints.  In  the  course  of  the  evening 
there  was  a  general  conversation  on  "  the  work  of  the  Lord," 
in  which  I,  of  course,  was  greatly  interested. 

Whenever  any  of  the  missionaries  were  visiting,  the  Saints 
would  seek  their  society  just  like  children  who  were  glad  to 
meet  again  their  parents  after  a  long  absence  ;  and  at  such  , 
times  they  were  at  liberty  to  ask  what  questions  they  fJleased. 
On  the  evening  I  speak  of,  I  well  remember  that  the  general 
subject  of  conversation  was  the  apostasy  of  the  Christian 
Church  from  the  true  order  of  God's  salvation.  Prominence 
was  given  to  the  history  of  Abraham  and  his  descendants,  and 
occasional  allusion  was  made  to  their  marital  relations  ;  but 
nothing  directly  was  spoken.  It  was  very  evident  that  these 
elders  only  wanted  to  drop  a  word  or  two  here  and  there  to 
suit  those  who  wanted  it,  but  nevertheless  they  spoke  so  ob- 
scurely and  mysteriously  that  they  could  easily  have  retracted 
what  was  said  if  any  one  had  accused  them  of  teaching  a  doc- 
trine which  they  were  unwilling  openly  to  avow. 

When  I  returned  home  that  night  I  was  fully  satisfied  that 
the  Elder  I  have  spoken  of  had  a  reason  for  his  frequent  visits 
to  Southampton,  and  shortly  after,  the  young  sister  went  to 
London.  Whether  Polygamy  was  ever  to  be  a  doctrine  of  the 
Church  or  not,  it  was  very  clear  to  me  that  the  London  Elder 
Was  a  polygamist  at  heart.  The  more  my  mind  dwelt  on 
these  things,  the  more  sick  at  heart  did  I  become,  and  faint 
and  weary. 

I  had,  however,  personal  cares  and  trials  enough  to  engage 
my  attention.  I  found  that  I  could  not  depend  upon  the 
Saints  to  provide  me  with  even  the  barest  necessaries  of  life, 
so  I  looked  about  me  and  made  enquiries  for  some  light  em- 

I06  TRIALS    OF    A    SAD    AND    LONELY    WIFE. 

ployment  by  which  I  might  support  myself.  My  health  at 
that  time  would  not  have  allowed  me  to  do  much,  but  for  a 
long  time  I  could  not  get  anything  at  all  to  do.  I  had,  of 
course,  been  used  to  teaching,  but  employment  of  that  kind  it 
was  just  then  impossible  for  me  to  take,  even  if  I  could  have 
got  it  ;  the  only  resource  which  seemed  left  to  me  was  to 
find  occupation  for  my  needle,  and  it  was  a  long  and  weary 
time  before  I  could  obtain  even  this. 

At  length  I  got  a  little  plain  sewing  to  do,  and  out  of  the 
miserable  pittance  thus  earned  I  contrived  to  pay  my  rent  and 
provide  a  few  necessaries ;  but  at  times  that  too  was  beyond 
my  power,  and  I  have  gone  a  fortnight  at  a  time  with  nothing 
to  eat  but  dry  bread.  Still  my  faith  never  failed.  And  thus 
the  weary  days  passed  by. 

Now,  however,  a  new  interest  began  to  gather  round  my  life, 
for  I  expected  before  the  end  of  the  year  the  arrival  of  a  little 
stranger  to  share  my  affections  and  my  care.  This  certainly 
was  a  sad  beginning  of  domestic  bliss,  but  still  the  thought 
was  pleasant  to  me.  I  had  at  that  time  no  one  to  aid  me  or 
comfort  me.  The  Saints  were  very  kind,  but  they  could  not 
supply  the  place  of  an  absent  husband.  My  dearest  friend, 
Mary  Burton,  used  to  come  as  often  as  she  could  to  see  me, 
and  her  presence  was  like  a  gleam  of  sunshine ;  but  she  was 
so  young,  and  innocent,  and  happy  that  I  had  not  the  heart  to 
trouble  her  with  my  sorrows.  All  my  jewelry  and  trinkets 
and  the  greater  part  of  my  wardrobe  had  gone  in  providing  for 
my  daily  wants  and  in  preparing  those  necessary  trifles  upon 
which  a  young  mother  bestows  so  much  loving  care.  My 
health  was  daily  failing,  and  sometimes  I  doubted  if  I  should 
ever  be  well  and  strong  again.  But  all  that  I  suffered  was  for 
the  Church,  and  that  thought  sustained  me. 

Often  I  would  sit  alone  and  think — think  of  the  past  and 
all  my  early  day-dreams  of  love,  and  hope,  and  bliss ;  think  of 
my  husband  in  a  far-off  land  devoting  his  life  and  all  his  ener- 
gies to  the  preaching  of  the  latter-day  glory ;  think  of  those 
whisperings  of  that  accursed  doctrine  which  has  since  brought 
desolation  and  anguish  to  the  hearts  of  so  many  weary  women; 


think  of  my  future  life,  dark  as  its  promise  even  then  ap- 

Sometimes  I  heard  from  Italy,  heard  how  my  husband  was 
progressing"  with  his  work,  and  with  wifely  love  I  sympathised 
with  him  in  all  his  difficulties,  for  he  told  me  how  arduous  the 
task  was  in  which  he  was  engaged. 

It  was  not  the  expectation  of  the  Mormon  Apostles  that  the 
missionaries  would  do  much  in  Catholic  Italy.  The  same 
causes  were  in  operation  there  as  affected  the  work  in  France. 
Few,  if  any,  really  good  Roman  Catholics  have  ever  joined  the 
Saints.  The  Irish  Mission  was  never  successful,  and  the  same 
may  be  said  of  the  French  and  Italian  Missions.  In  France 
and  Italy  by  far  the  greater  part  of  the  people  might  be  classed 
under  two  heads — Roman  Catholics,  and  infidels.  The  first 
had  already  an  infallible  guide  in  which  they  trusted,  and  as 
for  the  infidels,  they  ridiculed  the  idea  of  any  guide  at  all. 
Both  classes  were  utterly  devoid  of  that  acquaintance  with 
Scripture  of  which  the  Mormon  Missionaries  understood  so 
well  how  to  take  advantage,  and  which  rendered  them  so  sus- 
ceptible to  religious  influences  which  took  the  Bible  as  their 
basis.  The  Missionaries  in  Italy  soon  experienced  the  diffi- 
culties presented  by  these  facts. 

After  their  arrival  in  Genoa,  Mr.  Stenhouse  was  directed  to 
carry  the  gospel  to  theWaldenses — those  brave  old  Protestants 
of  the  dark  ages,  who  so  manfully  suffered,  even  unto  death,  for 
conscience  sake ;  and  some  time  after  he  had  begun  his  labors 
among  them,  the  Apostle  Snow  joined  him. 

Whatever  they  might  believe  or  teach  theoretically,  there 
can  be  no  doubt  that  the  American  Apostles  were  largely  en- 
dowed with  the  "organ"  of  caution.  Preaching  without  purse 
or  scrip  among  people  who  either  detest  you  as  a  heretic  or 
else  regard  you  with  profound  indifference  is  not  a  pleasant 
task,  and  the  Mormon  Apostles  very  prudently  "took  up"  lib- 
eral collections  in  England  before  they  started.  Had  it  not 
been  for  this  common-sense  proceeding  I  am  at  a  loss  to  say 
what  would  have  become  of  the  Missionaries  in  Italy ;  and  as 
it  was,  their  lot  was  not  a  very  enviable  one. 

I08  WANTED — "THE    GIFT    OF    TONGUES." 

Besides  the  scarcity  of  money,  the  other  great  difficuhy  ex- 
perienced by  the  Missionaries  was  learning  the  language  of 
their  destined  converts.  For  many  years,  it  was  supposed 
among  the  Saints  that  the  "Gift  of  Tongues"  would  be  all-suffi- 
cient for  this  purpose.  The  two  distinguished  Apostles,  Orson 
and  Parley  P.  Pratt,  whose  writings  did  so  much  for  Mormon- 
ism,  had  both  of  them  eloquently  discussed  the  subject  in  print ; 
but  the  Missionaries  soon  discovered  that  for  practical  pur- 
poses the  "  gift"  was  not  of  much  service  ;  and  the  two  Pratts 
themselves  afterwards  experienced — the  one  in  South  America 
and  the  other  in  Austria — the  fallacy  of  their  theories.  With- 
out the  "gift"  in  any  shape  the  work  in  Italy  was  necessarily 
very  slow,  and  an  Elder  who  could  speak  a  little  French  was 
sent  out  from  London  to  assist  them.  They  had  at  last  come 
to  the  conclusion  that  if  the  Lord  would  not  bestow  the  "gift" 
upon  them,  they  must  try  to  acquire  it  themselves. 

The  Apostle  Snow  now  thought  of  sending  the  Gospel  to 
the  Swiss,  and  Mr.  Stenhouse  was  selected  for  the  work.  But 
before  he  went  it  was  determined  that  the  Church  in  Italy 
should  be  "organised,"  and  about  a  week  later,  I  received  a 
long  account  of  how  this  was  done.  I  heard  how,  one  pleas- 
ant November  morning,  the  Apostle  Snow,  Elders  Stenhouse 
and  Woodward,  together  with  several  Waldenses  whom  they 
had  converted,  ascended  the  mountain-side  contiguous  to  La 
Tour,  and  overlooking  the  fertile  valley  of  Pinerello.  There 
they  sang  praises  and  prayed: — they  christened  the  place 
"  Mount  Brigham ;"  and  the  stone  upon  which  the  three  elders 
stood  and  offered  up  a  written  prayer,  they  named  "The  Rock 
of  Prophecy" ;  and  there  they  organised  the  church — dedicating 
the  soil  of  Italy  to  the  Lord.  Moreover,  then  and  there, 
my  husband  was  solemnly  consecrated  a  "  High-Priest,  after 
the  Order  of  the  Son  of  God." 

All  this  I  heard,  and  much  more ;  and  in  confiding  faith  that 
this  was  indeed  a  great  and  glorious  work,  I  rejoiced  that  I 
had  been  accounted  worthy  to  suffer  patiently  at  home,  if  only 
my  husband  might  successfully  fulfil  his  task  abroad. 

After  that  I  heard  that  he  had  left  Italy  and  had  arrived  in 


Geneva,  believing  that  he  would  be  more  successful  among  the 
Swiss  than  the  Italians.  •     r-         ^ 

A  few  days  after  the  arrival  of  the  Missionary    m  Geneva, 
an  event  occurred  which  interested  my  own  f  ^  P^^^^°^^^^^>;- 
my  little  Clara  was  born.     Very  happy  was  I  when  I  looked 
upon  her  tiny  little  face  for  the  first  time  and  kissed  her  for 
being  the  prettiest  baby  in  the  world  :  very  happy  was  I  when 
I  foMed  her  in  my  arms  and  talked  to  her  as  ^^  ^^e  could  un- 
derstand all  that  I  said-very  happy  indeed,  as  I  looked  at  her 
again  and  again,  and  marvelled  whether  she  really  could  be 
indeed  and  certainly  my  own  baby  girl.     It  seemed  as  if  baby  s 
papa  would  never  come  back  again,  but  I  had  a  companion 
now  in  my  child  ;  and  weak  and  weary  as  I  was  with  new  re- 
sponsibilities and  less  power  to  help  myself,  I  found  comfort 
in  my  new  care,  and  reahsed  the  truth  of  the  old  Scotch  song : 

"Muckle  lichter  is  the  load. 

When  Juve  bears  up  the  creel." 

I  was  not  now  alone.  ou         . 

Then  too,  came  round  to  see  me,  Mary  Burton.     She  was 
as  fond 'and  tender  to  me  as  ever,  and  tripped  quietly  about 
the  room,  and  tried  to  wait  upon  me,  and  sat  by  the  bed,  play- 
ing with   baby,  calling  her  all   the  pretty  things  she  could 
think  of  and  I  felt  that  her  presence  brought  new  light  and 
life  to  my  room.     She  brought  me  another  letter  from  my  bus- 
band  and  I  found  that  he  was  now  acquiring  for  himself  the 
"  gift"  of  the  French  tongue,  unable  to  do  much  else,  as  he  and 
everybody  didn't  understand  each  other.     He  could  not  yet 
talk  to  the  French-speaking  Genevese ;  and  the  English-speak- 
ino-  residents  would  not  Hsten  to  him;  they  had  only  heard  of 
Mormonism  as  a  clumsy  fraud,  and  looked  upon  the  prophet 
Joseph  Smith  as  an  impostor.     So,  for  a  whole  winter,  he  sat 
shut  up  in  his  own  room  poring  over  a  French  grammar,  and 
deploring  his  hard  fate  in  being  denied  the  gift  of  tongues 

In  the  spring  of  the  new  year  I  received  a  distinguished 
visitor  who  kindly  interested  himself  in  my  welfare.  The 
Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow  left  Piedmont  for  England  and  passed 
throu-h  Geneva  en  route.      On  his  way  to  London  he  called 


upon  me  at  Southampton,  and  expressed  much  sympathy  for 
me  : — he  noticed  the  change  in  my  appearance,  and  immediately 
sent  for  Mr.  Stenhouse  to  return  to  England.  He  acted  very 
kindly  by  me  at  that  time  ;  did  all  that  he  coukl  to  assist  me, 
and  said  that  he  never  again  would  ask  any  man  to  make  such 
a  sacrifice.  I  fully  appreciated  all  his  kindness  ;  but  much  as  I 
wanted  to,  I  did  not  venture  to  ask  him  about  the  truth  or 
falsity  of  those  terrible  suggestions  which  I  had  heard  whis- 
pered of  late. 

My  husband  hastened  home,  coming  by  way  of  Calais,  in 
order  to  meet  his  president  and  receive  his  instructions.  The 
Apostle  showed  much  sympathy  for  him,  and  very  early  in  the 
morning  accompanied  him  some  miles  to  the  railway  station  ; 
but  he  never  once  mentioned  how  I  had  been  situated  in 
Southampton  until  he  left  him,  and  then  he  exacted  from  him 
a  promise  not  to  open  his  lips  whatever  he  might  learn. 

I  need  not  say  that  I  was  happy  to  see  my  husband  once 
again,  and  to  present  to  him  his  little  daughter  who  was  now 
five  months  old.  He  was,  of  course,  soon  busy  in  visiting  the 
Saints,  and  he  received  from  them  many  tokens  of  attachment. 

In  the  beginning  of  June  a  General  Conference  of  the 
branches  of  the  Church  in  Britain  was  held  in  London.  The 
Apostles  and  foreign  Missionaries  were  present,  and  my  hus- 
band and  I  were  also  there.  We  had  speeches  and  prayers. 
The  business  of  the  Conference  occupied  but  very  few  minutes, 
for  no  measure  was  questioned.  Among  the  Mormons  there 
are  no  opinions,  no  discussion.  The  presiding  head  has  made 
out  his  programme  before  he  comes  to  the  conference ;  he 
knows  what  he  wants  to  do,  and  no  one  ever  questions  him. 
He  may  perhaps  for  form's  sake  invite  the  brethren  to  speak 
on  any  point  he  introduces ;  but  when  he  has  furnished  the 
clew  to  his  wishes,  the  Elders  who  speak  only  spend  their  time 
in  arguments  in  favor  of  his  measures.  At  the  Conference  of 
which  I  speak  the  reports  of  the  native  eiders  were  very  cheer- 
ing to  us.  Throughout  England  and  Wales  they  had  been 
most  successful  in  adding  members  to  the  Church.  Mormon- 
ism  was  then  most  successfully  preached  in  Britain.     There 


were  more  Mormons  there  than  in  all  Utah  Territory :  there 
were  fifty  Conferences,  with  over  seven  hundred  organised 
"  Branches,"  and  more  than  six  thousand  men  ordained  to 
the  priesthood.  That  peculiar  influence  which  the  Mormons 
call  "  the  Spirit,"  of  which  I  have  spoken,  elsewhere,  was 
spoken  of  by  the  Elders  as  being  a  common  experience  every- 

During  all  that  Conference,  I  listened  carefully  for  a  word 
from  the  lips  of  any  of  the  speakers  which  might  indicate  in 
any  way  that  Polygamy  was  part  of  the  Mormon  faith  ;  but 
not  a  whisper,  not  a  hint  was  uttered.  I  naturally  concluded 
that  the  Elders,  whose*  doubtful  expressions  at  Southampton 
had  so  troubled  my  mind,  were  misinformed  or  unsafe  men. 
Still  I  could  not  altogether  banish  my  apprehension  of  coming 
evil ;  but  so  bound  to  secresy  were  those  who  did  know  of 
Polygamy  being  practiced  in  Utah,  that  there  was  not  one 
who  would  admit  it,  and  even  my  own  husband's  lips  were 
sealed  to  me.  He  did  not  deny  it,  but  he  would  not  talk 
about  it,  and  did  everything  he  could  to  banish  the  thought 
from  my  mind. 

At  that  Conference  the  Apostle  Snow  spoke  very  strongly 
of  the  way  in  which  I  had  been  neglected ;  and  it  was 
arranged  that  Elder  Stenhouse  should  return  to  Switzerland, 
and  that  I  should  accompany  him.  My  knowledge  of  French 
was  expected  to  be  very  serviceable. 

We  now  made  preparations  for  an  early  departure,  and  pre- 
pared to  leave  our  friends.  To  the  reader  it  may  seem  strange 
for  a  man,  his  wife,  and  babe,  to  be  sent  out  in  this  way  on  a 
mission  without  any  proper  arrangement  for  their  mainten- 
ance, but  to  my  mind,  at  the  time,  it  seemed  to  me  not  only 
perfectly  proper,  but  altogether  in  accordance  with  God's  word 
and  commandment. 

My  young  friend,  Mary  Burtbn,  came  round  to  bid  me  good- 
bye ;  and  the  poor  girl  wept,  and  I  wept  with  her,  and  we 
kissed  one  another  tenderly  as  our  tears  mingled.  We  had 
become  very  dear  to  each  other,  and  the  thought  of  separa- 
tion for  years,  or  perhaps  for  ever,  was  very  painful  to  us. 

112  "WE    THREE    SET    FORTH. 

She  hung  about  my  neck  at  the  last  moment,  kissing  me  and 
begging  me  not  to  forget  to  write  to  her  very,  very  often,  and 
this  I  gladly  promised  her,  asking  the  same  in  return.  Then 
with  a  fond  embrace  we  parted,  and  it  was  years  before  I  saw 
her  dear  face  again. 

Thus  it  was  that  we  three — my  husband,  my  babe,  and 
myself — set  forth  on  our  pilgrimage  to  convert  the  Swiss. 

It  was  with  no  ordinary  feelings  that  I  entered  the  ancient 
city  of  Geneva.  I  was  not  ignorant  of  its  history  and  the 
struggles  of  its  inhabitants  for  civil  and  religious  liberty.  It 
had  been  the  refuge  for  the  English  Protestants  during  the 
fiery  days  of  Queen  Mary,  just  as  in  'the  time  of  the  French 
Revolution  it  was  the  refuge  of  infidel  and  Papist,  royalist 
and  republican  alike  ; — there  Calvin  lived'  in  gloomy  auster- 
ity, battling  with  Rome  ;  there  Servitus,  the  Unitarian,  was 
condemned  to  be  roasted  alive  as  a  heretic  ;  and  th^re  we 
expected  in  our  own  humble  way  to  be  able  to  testify,  by  our 
suffering  and  patience,  to  what  we  firmly  believed  was  the 

In  free  countries  like  England  and  the  United  States — free 
from  the  surveillance  of  a  military  police,  it  is  easy,  if  he 
wishes  it,  for  the  Missionary  to  mount  a  chair  at  a  street  cor- 
ner, or  hold  forth  under  a  tree,  and  such  has  often  been  done. 
But  all  over  continental  Europe  there  is  hardly  a  place  where 
this  would  be  possible.  In  the  various  grand  duchies,  king- 
doms, and  empires,  paternal  governments  look  too  closely 
after  the  morals  and  religion  of  their  subjects  ;  while  under 
the  ephemeral  republics,  as  long  as  they  happen  to  last,  there 
is  often  to  be  found,  under  the  name  of  liberty,  a  despotism 
more  despotic  than  under  the  rule  of  royalty.  It  is  the  col- 
porteur, the  man  of  books  and  tracts,  who  makes  the  converts 
there,  and  in  this  slow  way  we  soon  found  that  we  were  des- 
tined to  proceed.  * 

During  my  husband's  former  stay  in  Geneva  he  had  had 
neither  Mormon  books  nor  Mormon  papers,  with  the  exception 
of  a  paper  published  at  Boulogne,  containing  a  letter  by  the 
apostle  Taylor,  in  French  and  English.     This  single  copy  he 


lent  to  a  Genevese  to  read,  and  never  saw  it  again  ;  and  yet 
in  a  short  time,  even  before  he  could  properly  speak  French, 
he  converted  and  baptized  two  men  in  the  Rhone,  one  of 
whom  is  to-day  a  devoted  Mormon  in  Southern  Utah. 

His  first  attack  was  upon  a  shoemaker  whom  he  visited  for 
the  purpose  of  repairs.  While  the  shoemaker  worked,  Elder 
Stenhouse  talked  ;  and  as  the  English  are  all  reputed  wealthy 
on  the  Continent,  the  friendly  overtures  of  the  Mormon  Mis- 
sionary were  graciously  received.  As  they  grew  intimate, 
Elder  Stenhouse  would  sit  down  on  the  bench  beside  the  man 
as  he  worked,  and  taking  from  his  pocket  a  French  Testa- 
ment, which  he  always  carried  about  with  him,  would  try  to 
read  it  aloud — the  good-natured  shoemaker  undertaking  to  cor- 
rect his  pronunciation.  In  this  way  he  kept  his  auditor's 
attention  constantly  fixed  upon  certain  passages,  more  espe- 
cially those  which  spoke  of  baptism  for  the  remission  of  sins, 
and  the  laying  on  of  hands  for  the  gift  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
So  persistent  was  he  that  at  last  the  shoemaker's  curiosity 
was  awakened,  and  finally  he  was  baptized  ;  but  unfortunately, 
not  long  after,  a  small  pamphlet  upon  the  mission  of  Joseph 
Smith  fell  into  his  hands  and  made  shipwreck  of  his  faith. 

With  his  second  convert  he  was  much  more  successful. 
This  time  it  was  his  landlord  who  was  to  be  the  subjeet  of 
attack.  He  was  a  tailor,  and,  fortunately  for  the  Missionary, 
somewhat  talkative.  The  same  arrangement  was  made  about 
reading  and  correction,  and  with  a  like  result — the  tailor  was 
baptized.  Just  at  this  time  came  the  Apostle  Snow's  letter 
telling  my  husband  to  return  to  England  ;  and  as  he  might 
not  leave  the  country  without  a  representative,  he  ordained 
the  tailor  a  Priest  in  the  Mormon  Church. 

When  we  arrived  in  Geneva,  Monsiejir  le  tailleitr  was  all 
that  constituted  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-Day 
Saints  in  Switzerland. 

Soon  a  few  personal  friends  began  to  gather  to  hear  the 
English  Missionary  tell  about  the  new  religion,  and  my  hus- 
band being  very  much  in  earnest,  interest  before  long  began 
to  be  excited.     I  remember  well  our  first  meetings  among  the 


Swiss  : — half-a-dozen  people  sitting  round  a  table  with  open 
Bibles  before  them,  passages  from  which  Mr.  Stenhouse  was 
trying  in  very  bad  French  to  make  them  understand.  I  pitied 
him  very  much,  but  those  who  were  present  made  as  if  they 
did  not  notice  his  embarrassment,  and  listened  with  marked 
attention.  Among  the  Mormons  it  is  a  woman's  duty  to  keep 
silence;  I  therefore  remained  a  listener  only.  But  at  the 
close  of  the  service — for  such  it  was  regarded — when  I  might 
speak,  my  missionary  labors  began,  I  was  aroused  to  elo- 
quence, and  our  parting  was  longer  than  our  meeting. 

The  warmth  with  which  the  few  who  were  present  responded 
to  our  efforts  satisfied  me  that  they  had  come  under  the  same 
mysterious  influence  which  I  had  observed  in  England.  I 
was  then  convinced  that  Mormonism  could  awaken  the  Chris- 
tian soul  more  to  a  realisation  of  what  it  already  possessed, 
than  impart  to  it  any  new  moral  or  religious  qualities.  Mor- 
monism of  itself  never  made  Christians,  but  Christianity 
built  up  Mormonism.  It  was  an  awakening  to  the  teachings 
of  Christ  and  his  Apostles  that  begat  confidence  in  the  mis- 
sion of  the  Mormon  Prophet. 

Although  we  observed  the  very  strictest  economy,  it  did 
not  take  long  for  us  to  exhaust  what  little  money  we  brought 
from  England.  This  placed  us  in  a  very  awkward  position. 
It  is  inconvenient  enough  to  be  without  money  in  one's  own 
country,  where  one  understands  and  is  understood  by  every- 
body ;  but  to  be  in  a  strange  land,  especially  in  a  country  like 
Switzerland,  where  every  Englishman  is  supposed  to  be  a 
"milor  "  and  the  bounteous  dispenser  of  unlimited  wealth,  it  is 
more  than  inconvenient. 

We  left  our  first  quarters,  where  we  had  had  so  many  visitors, 
and  rented  a  room  from  a  widow  woman,  who  fortunately  was 
not  inquisitive.  She  had  a  family  of  children  to  support,  and 
as  we  paid  our  rent  monthly  in  advance,  she  had  no  occasion 
to  know  whether  or  not  we  kept  a  bank  account,  and  we  were 
thankful  that  it  was  so,  for,  had  it  been  so  ordained,  we  could 
there  have  starved  to  death  without  attracting  the  notice  of 
any  one. — A  nice  thing  to  be  thankful  for. 

"AS    BLACK    AS    THE    DEVIL."  II^ 

We  were  not  hopeless,  though  we  were  heavy-hearted  ;  but 
we  had  expected  trial,  and  could  not  complain,  for  we  knew 
from  the  beginning  that  thus  it  would  probably  be. 

One  day  my  husband  received  a  letter  from  an  infidel  gen- 
tleman who  lived  in  Lausanne — a  neighboring  canton — re- 
questing him  to  come  and  see  him,  that  they  might  talk 
together  over  Mormonism,  for  he  had  heard  of  us  and  of  our 
doctrine,  and  my  husband  resolved  to  visit  him  before  our 
money  was  all  gone. 

When  Mr.  Stenhouse  reached  Lausanne,  he  visited  first  a 
Protestant  minister  with  whom  he  had  some  slight  acquaint- 
ance, and  who  was  also  interested  in  Mormonism,  and  told 
him  that  he  was  going  to  call  upon  the  Governeur  de 
I'Hopital.  The  minister  was  greatly  opposed  to  my  husband 
visiting  such  a  man.  "  He  is  a  socialist,"  he  said — "  a  revolu- 
tionist ;  he  fought  at  the  barricades  ;  he  is  a  maiivais  siijet, 
and  anything  but  a  fit  person  to  be  spoken  to  about  re- 

This  only  increased  the  interest  which  Mr.  Stenhouse  felt 
in  the  Governor,  and  made  him  more  than  ever  determined  to 
see  him  ;  and  he  did  see  him,  although  the  good  minister  had 
represented  him  "aiissi  noir  que  le  diable."  So  they  met;  and 
my  husband  began  the  work  for  which  he  had  come.  They 
had  long  talks  together,  and  my  husband — as  did  the  Elders 
ever  in  such  cases — spoke  to  the  Governor  of  redemption 
through  Christ,  and  baptism  for  the  remission  of  sins.  Faith 
is  not  an  act  of  the  will.  Like  the  unseen  wind,  it  comes,  and 
we  see  the  power  thereof,  but  know  not  whence  it  proceeds. 
Thus  at  first  the  unbelieving  Governor  found  it — he  might 
find  himself  no  match  for  the  arguments  of  his  opponent,  but 
he  could  not  force  his  heart  to  believe,  and  he  was  by  no 
means  a  willing  convert.  My  husband,  however,  remained 
with  him,  and  before  he  left,  the  Governor  had  been  baptized 
into  the  Church. 

Our  new  convert  proved  to  be  a  most  excellent  and  worthy 
man,  notwithstanding  his  former  infidelity,  and  he  was  subse- 
quently a  great  aid  to  us  in  our  mission.  We  felt  satisfied 

Il8  "THE    LORD    WILL    PROVIDE," 

that  the  expenses  of  that  journey  had  been  well  spent, 
although  a  few  francs  at  that  time  could  ill  be  spared. 

But  our  circumstances  seemed  to  be  getting  worse  and 
worse,  and  my  health  began  to  fail.  For  several  months 
neither  of  us  had  had  sufficient  nourishment,  and  my  anxieties 
increased  my  physical  weakness ;  I  was  dispirited,  yet  I  feared 
to  complain,  or  even  to  let  my  husband  know  what  I  felt.  At 
length  I  was  really  ill,  and  could  not  leave  my  bed.  I  well 
remember  the  solemn  silence  that  reigned  in  our  home  one 
day.  I  had  risen  from  my  bed,  weak,  and  Oh,  so  faint- 
hearted, that  I  had  scarcely  any  desire  to  live;  and  I  was 
sitting  with  my  little  daughter  in  my  arms.  She  had  cried 
herself  to  sleep,  cold  and  hungry,  and  much  as  I  loved  her — 
nay,  idolised  her — I  confess  that  for  an  instant,  I  harbored  in 
my  soul  the  impious,  the  unnatural  wish,  that  rather  than  see 
my  darling  awake  again  to  cold  and  hunger,  she  might  sleep 
her  sweet  young  life  away.  For  me  to  yield  to  such  a 
thought — to  wish  my  child  to  wake  no  more — I,  who  would 
have  given  gladly  the  last  drop  of  my  life-blood  to  save  her — 
for  me  to  look  upon  her  innocent  little  face  with  such  a 
thought !  I  can  hardly  now  believe  that  such  a  thing  was 
possible,  even  for  a  moment.  But  I  was  desperate,  and  bold, 
and  cowardly — all  at  the  same  time — or  my  heart  was  humil- 
iated by  poverty,  and  my  faith  was  rousing  bitter  thoughts 
in  my  mind. 

My  husband  was  pacing  the  room  ;  I  knew  too  well  all  that 
was  passing  in  his  mind,  although  we  had  long  been  silent. 
At  length  I  said  to  him  :  "  Take  courage,  dear,  for  we  are  the 
servants  of  the  great  God,  and  surely  He  will  find  a  means  of 
escape  for  us.  We  were  sent  here  ;  we  came  because  the 
Lord  wanted  us  to  come,  and  surely  He  will  provide  for  us  ! " 

He  turned  to  me  in  reply,  and  said  kindly,  "  We  can  at 
least  have  some  water,"  and  he  went  for  some  water,  and  then 
with  as  reverential  feeling  in  his  soul  as  ever  inspired  a  grace 
before  dinner,  he  blessed  it,  and  we  drank. 

We  had  scarcely  done  so  when  the  rnail-courier  brought  a 
letter  to  our  door. 

THE    TRIAL    OF    OUR    FAITH.  II9 

Governor  Stoudeman,  with  a  feeling  of  delicacy,  had  hesi- 
tated, when  my  husband  visited  him  at  Lausanne,  to  offer  him 
any  assistance ;  but,  he  said  in  his  letter,  he  had  been  "  im- 
pressed "  to  do  so,  and  hoped  that  we  should  not  be  offended. 
As  the  letter  was  opened,  a  piece  of  gold  fell  upon  the  table. 
We  could  hardly  believe  that  God  had  so  soon  answered  our 
prayers  and  sent  us  relief,  and  our  emotions  of  gratitude  for 
this  timely  aid,  found  expression  in  tears. 

All  this  time  our  landlady  knew  nothing  of  our  distress ; 
she  was  as  ignorant  of  our  situation  as  if  she  had  never  seen 
us.  So  long  as  I  was  able  to  walk  about,  I  used  at  regular 
hours  to  go  to  the  kitchen,  get  the  cooking  utensils,  and  go 
through  the  routine  of  cooking  as  if  we  had  had  a  well-filled 
larder  all  the  time.  I  set  the  table  with  punctilious  care,  and 
the  good  old  widow  never  suspected  but  that  we  had  plenty. 
Thus  supposing  that  we  wanted  nothing,  she  and  her  children 
were  more  than  ordinarily  kind  to  us  and  to  our  little  girl, 
who  was  now  old  enough  to  toddle  round  and  go  from  room  to 
room.  Very  often  they  would  get  her  into  their  room  at 
meal-time  and  give  her  little  things  to  please  her  ;  and  while 
they  felt  honored  in  being  permitted  to  do  so,  we  were 
silently  thankful  for  our  child's  sake,  for  her  sufferings 
were  more  than  we  could  endure. 

The  temporary  aid  from  Lausanne  was  very  welcome  to  us, 
though  it  only  served  to  make  us  feel  more  keenly  our 
dependent  position.  I  might  relate  stories — alas,  too  true — of 
cold  and  want ;  of  days,  and  even  almost  an  entire  week  passed 
at  one  time  without  food — stories  which  for  painful  detail 
would  eclipse  romance.  It  was  a  weary  waiting  for  Provi- 
dence !  Such  things  are  better  forgotten.  And  yet  I  feel 
that  in  after  years  my  temper  was  more  subdued  and  my 
mind  more  patient  under  affliction  than  it  would  have  been 
had  I  not  experienced  this  preparatory  discipline. 

People  who  have  heard,  with  a  sneer,  of  Mormon  Mission- 
aries and  their  work,  would  perhaps  have  realised  that  faith 
may  be  sincere,  although  mistaken,  if  they  could  have  seen  us 
at  that  time.     The  first  teachers  of  a  doctrine,  whether  it  be 


good  or  evil,  if  only  it  stems  the  current  opinions  of  the  hour, 
have  ever  found  that  at  the  end  of  a  rocky  way  there  was 
waiting  for  them  a  crown  of  thorns. 

Many  a  time  since  then  I  have  felt  the  weight  of  anxious 
care  in  providing  for  my  family — the  trial  of  our  faith  has  not 
been  light  or  seldom  repeated  ;  but  those  days  of  trouble  in 
Switzerland  were,  I  think,  the  darkest  that  I  ever  experienced. 
We  realised  literally  the  necessity  of  trusting  to  God's  daily 
mercies  for  our  daily  bread  ;  and  the  assurance  that  the  Lord 
would  provide  was  our  only  hope.  To  say  that  we  practiced 
the  strictest  economy  would  be  to  give  but  a  faint  idea  of  the 
way  in  which  we  had  to  consider  and  contrive  in  order  to 
exist  at  all.  For  years  we  kept  "  The  Word  of  Wisdom  " — 
a  "  Revelation  of  Joseph  Smith,"  which  enjoined  abstinence 
from  wine,  cdffee,  tea,  or,  in  fact,  warm  drinks  of  any  kind  ; 
and  trifling  as  such  self-denial  may  at  first  appear,  it  was  not 
really  so  when  other  privations  were  added  thereto.  For 
months  at  a  time  we  existed, — for  I  dare  not  say  lived, — ■ 
without  what  are  considered,  even  by  the  poorest,  the  most 
common  necessaries.  I  can  even  recall  to  mind  one  trying 
week  in  Switzerland,  when,  for  the  whole  seven  long  days,  we 
had  less  than  a  pint  of  corn-flour  to  live  upon,  and  that  was 
chiefly  reserved  for  our  poor  child. 

As  I  look  back  to  those  dark,  painful  times  I  feel  that  it 
was  by  little  short  of  a  miracle  that  our  lives  were  spared — 
our  faith  alone  saved  us. 



An  Apostle  Comes  to  Help  Me — How  the  Wives  of  Missionaries  were  Sup- 
ported— I  Meet  with  Friends — My  Attempts  at  Proselytizing — Madame  Balif 
Rejects  the  Revelation — Primitive  Meetings  of  the  Saints — Certain  Bashful 
Men — A  Lady  Weak  in  the  Faith — How  My  Faith  was  Tried — "  If  You 
Could  Get  that  Child  Healed"— Wanted  :  The  Gift  of  Healing— What 
Governor  Stoudeman  Did— The  Fate  of  a  Little  Child— Madame  Balif  Makes 
a  Suggestion — An  Effort  of  Faith — My  Doubts  and  Fears — An  Anxious 
Night — Mary  Burton's  Letter — Elder  Shrewsbury  Manifests  Himself — A 
Girl's  Opinion  of  Her  Lover — Fears  of  Polygamy — Certain  Imprudent  Elders 
— The  American  Brethren — Learning  a  Business — Jealous  of  Her  Husband — 
"  My  Elder  " — An  Unsettled  Mind — Obtaining  Information — Nothing  Deter- 

VERY  soon  after  this  we  were  notified  that  the  Apostle 
Snow  was  on  his  way  to  Switzerland,  and  that  we  might 
shortly  expect  him. 

This  to  me  was  joyful  news,  for  he  had  relieved  me  of  my 
trouble  once  before,  and  I  almost  looked  upon  him  as  my 
good  angel.  He  came,  and  remained  with  us  a  few  days,  and 
before  he  left  he  instructed  Mr.  Stenhouse  to  repair  to  Eng- 
land to  raise  funds  to  aid  the  mission.  He  also  gave  me  a 
few  pounds  to  procure  what  I  needed  for  an  event  which  I 
expected  shortly  to  take  place.  This  kindness  on  his  part 
brought  to  my  mind  such  a  sense  of  relief,  and  renewed  my 
energy,  so  that  I  felt  ready  for  my  missionary  labors  again. 

When  my  second  child  was  about  two  months  old,  I  went 
to  Lausanne,  to  reside,  while  my  husband  was  absent  in 
England.  Apartments  were  engaged  for  me  at  the  house  of 
a  gentleman  who  had  recently  been  baptized.     I  was  made 

122  HOW   I    LIVED   ON   A   DOLLAR   A   WEEK. 

very  comfortable  there,  and  for  the  first  time  since  my  hus- 
band was  sent  on  a  mission,  I  experienced  a  feeling  of  repose, 
so  that  I  now  had  some  hopes  of  regaining  mental  and 
physical  strength.  No  provision  had  been  made  by  the  Saints 
for  my  support;  but  even  without  that,  I  thought,  living 
among  those  who  were  themselves  happy,  and  one  with  us  in 
the  faith,  I  should  myself  find  more  tranquillity  of  mind. 

Madame  and  Monsieur  Balif,  in  whose  house  I  resided,  were 
persons  of  good  social  position.  The  husband  was  one  of 
nature's  gentlemen,  and  as  good  a  man  as  I  ever  knew.  He 
received  the  Mormonism  taught  by  Mr.  Stenhouse  with  all 
his  heart,  and  never  seemed  weary  of  showing  his  gratitude 
by  his  good  deeds.  Madame  Balif  did  not  at  once  join  the 
Church,  and  probably  never  would  have  done  so  but  for  the 
love  which  she  bore  to  her  husband  ;  she  was  not  however 
hostile  to  the  new  faith,  as  some  other  wives  were,  and  she 
did  all  that  she  could  to  render  pleasant  my  stay  with  them, 
rand  tried  to  make  me  forget  what  I  had  suffered  in  Geneva. 

Madame  Balif  was  a  high-spirited,  impulsive  woman,  and 
devotedly  attached  to  her  husband  ;  I  never  saw  a  woman 
more  so.  She  impressed  me  as  being  one  of  the  happiest  of 
wives  ;  he  one  of  the  best  of  husbands.  After  I  had  lived  in 
the  house  a  few  weeks,  she  was  baptized  ;  but  she  never  was 
satisfied  with  Mormonism.  Poor,  dear  lady!  How  often 
have  I  bitterly  regretted  that  I  was  instrumental  in  leading 
her  into  the  Mormon  Church,  in  which,  as  years  later,  in 
Utah,  she  told  me,  she  endured  such  cruel  humiliation  and 
martyrdom.     I  knew  well  indeed  then  what  all  that  meant. 

While  I  lived  with  them,  it  was  agreed  that  I  should  pay 
for  my  apartments  monthly  ;  but  after  I  had  paid  for  the  first 
month,  Monsieur  Balif  told  me  that  I  should  do  so  no  more; 
and  knowing  that  he  meant  it  as  an  expression  of  kindness 
and  gratitude  on  his  part,  I  felt  relieved  of  all  anxiety  on  that 
account.  All  that  I  had,  even  then,  for  the  support  of  myself 
and  my  two  little  ones  was  about  five  francs  ($i)  a  week,  but 
my  wants  were  few,  for  I  had  taught  myself  to  require  no^.hing 
but  what  was  absolutely  necessary  to  keep  me  alive. 

LITTLE    CLARA    BECOMES    A    TEST    OF    FAITH.  1 23 

During  Mr.  Stenhouse's  absence,  the  meetings  were  held  in 
my  parlor,  and  as  the  brethren  who  had  joined  the  Church 
had  not  previously  been  religious  men,  though  they  were  per- 
sons of  the  best  moral  character,  they  were  very  diffident 
about  conducting  the  meetings,  and  for  a  time  could  not 
think  of  praying  before  others.  It  devolved  upon  me — of 
sheer  necessity,  for  I  disliked  prominence  as  much  as  they 
did — to  lead  the  singing,  to  pray,  to  preach,  in  fact,  to  do 
everything.  Had  I  not  done  so,  they  would  have  sat  looking 
at  each  other,  for  they  were  all  too  timid  to  speak.  I  en- 
couraged them  in  every  way  to  try,  and  finally  we  got  along 
very  well.  A  "  good  spirit "  prevailed,  and  we  were  like  a 
little  band  of  brothers  and  sisters. 

The  only  person,  now,  who  gave  me  any  anxiety  was 
Madame  Balif,  who  was  very  weak  in  the  faith.  Her  doubts 
and  fears  troubled  me  much,  for  I  had  conceived  a  very  great 
regard  for  her.  I  feared  that  with  a  heart  so  proud  and  rebel- 
lious as  hers,  she  would  never  get  salvation,  and  I  trembled 
for  her  happiness.  How  slight  a  hold  the  new  faith  had  taken 
of  her  mind  I  was  forcibly  reminded  by  an  incident  which 
was  at  the  time  a  great  trial  to  me. 

My  little  daughter  fell  sick  of  intermittent  fever,  and  I 
dared  not  call  in  a  physician  ;  it  would  not  do  for  me — a  mis- 
sionary's wife,  to  show  lack  of  faith.  Such  was  our  zeal  in 
those  days  ;  but  now,  as  I  once  before  stated,  even  the  most 
orthodox  Mormons,  including  Brigham  Young,  do  not  think 
of  relying  upon  God  and  the  ordinances  of  the  Church,  as 
they  used  to  in  former  years,  but  call  in  the  best  physician 
they  can  get. 

I  was  much  troubled  about  my  little  girl,  for  she  was  evi- 
dently failing  fast.  She  had  been  "  administered  to  "  by  one 
the  native  Elders  who  had  anointed  her  with  oil  and  prayed 
over  her,  but  yet  she  did  not  get  better.  Madame  Balif,  in 
the  midst  of  my  affliction  taunted  me  about  the  child  not  re- 
covering, and  asked  where  was  the  power  of  God,  of  which  I 
had  talked  so  much  :  "  Now,"  said  she,  "  if  you  could  get  that 
child  healed,  it  would  be  some  proof,  to  my  mind,  that  the 

124  "we  knelt  and  prayed." 

power  you  speak  of  is  still  in  the  Church."  I  felt  ashamed 
that  I  had  not  exercised  more  faith  ;  I  was  certain  that  the 
gift  of  healing  %vas  in  the  Church,  and  I  believed  it  was  my 
own  fault  that  the  child  was  not  even  now  well.  In  my  zeal 
I  replied  rather  warmly :  "  My  child  tvill  be  healed,  and  you 
shall  see  it."  But  I  had  no  sooner  uttered  these  words  than 
I  began  to  fear  I  had  promised  too  much. 

I  determined,  however,  that  nothing  on  my  part  should  be 
left  undone.  I  sent  for  Governor  Stoudeman — our  new  con- 
vert— as  he  was  the  President  of  the  branch  and  an  Elder.  I 
told  him  that  this  child  must  be  healed  by  the  power  of  God. 
We  had  not  witnessed  any  manifestation  of  the  healing  power 
among  the  Saints  in  Switzerland,  up  to  that  time,  and  I  ear- 
nestly desired  that  now  for  the  first  time  this  gift  might  be 
proved  among  us,  for  the  sake  of  the  Church  as  well  as  for  my 
own.  So  I  told  the  Governor  that  it  was  his  duty,  as  well  as 
mine,  to  fast  and  pray  that  the  Lord  might  grant  us  this  bless- 
ing, that  it  might  be  a  testimony  that  it  was  His  work  and  that 
we  were  His  servants. 

He  became  as  enthusiastic  as  I  was  myself,  and  we  fasted 
and  prayed  for  nearly  two  days.  At  the  end  of  that  time  he 
came  to  see  me,  and  by  the  bedside  we  knelt  and  prayed,  and 
he  laid  his  hands  upon  the  child  and  blessed  her  in  the  name 
of  the  Lord. 

That  night  the  child  was  very  low,  and  though  I  strove  to 
show  my  faith,  I  dreaded  that  she  would  have  her  usual  at- 
tack of  fever  about  midnight.  After  the  departure  of  the 
elder,  Madame  Balif  came  into  the  room  and  said  :  "  Your 
child  is  very  ill ;  if  your  God  cannot  help  her,  why  do  not  you 
send  for  a  physician  V  This  appeared  to  me  so  profane  and 
such  an  insult  to  my  God  and  my  faith,  that  I  replied  indig- 
nantly :  "  Madame ;  she  will  and  sJiall  be  healed  this  very 
night ;  for  I  know  that  power  is  in  the  Church.  The  reason 
why  the  child  was  not  healed  before  is  because  I  have  not 
been  earnest  enough  in  seeking  the  Lord." 

When  I  was  left  alone  I  sat  down  by  the  bedside,  trembling 
lest  I  had  been  too  rash  in  declaring  that  the  child  would  be 


healed  that  same  night.  Much  and  fondly  as  I  loved  my  little 
treasure,  I  confess  that  I  suffered  more  at  the  thought  of 
God's  name  suffering  reproach  than  I  did  from  fear  of  my 
darling's  death  ;  and  I  tried  earnestly  to  banish  my  doubts 
with  the  remembrance  that  all  things  are  possible  to  them 
that  believe. 

Kneeling  there  in  the  dark  and  lonesome  midnight,  I 
poured  out  my  soul  fervently  to  God,  beseeching  Him  for  His 
kingdom's  sake  and  for  the  glory  of  His  great  name  to  answer, 
and  not  to  suffer  my  unworthiness  to  stand  in  the  way.  I 
watched  hour  after  hour  beside  my  darling's  bed,  and  the 
child  slept  on  peacefully,  without  any  symptoms  of  return- 
ing fever  ;  and,  Oh,  how  anxiously  I  waited  for  her  awaking. 

At  last,  worn  out  with  fatigue  and  watching,  I  laid  myself 
down  on  the  bed  beside  her,  and  soon  fell  asleep ;  and  when  I 
awoke  it  was  daylight,  and  my  little  one  was  peacefully  sleep- 
ing on  still — the  fever  had  left  her.  No  tongue  could  tell  the 
gratitude  which  filled  my  heart  ;  I  could  only  weep  tears  of 
joy  and  sing  aloud  my  praise  to  God. 

Madame  Bailif  entered  the  room  early  in  the  morning  to 
see  what  kind  of  a  night  we  had  passed.  Then  I  drew  her  to 
the  bedside,  and  told  her  how  tranquilly  the  child  had  slept 
all  night,  and  showed  her  how  much  better  she  looked,  and 
asked  her  if  she  did  not  see  in  all  this  the  providence  of  God, 
But  she  simply  said  :  "  Ah,  well !  I  suppose  the  disease  had 
run  its  course."  This  grieved  me,  for  I  had  trusted  that  such 
a  direct  answer  to  my  prayers  would  have  helped  to  increase 
her  faith  in  our  religion,  but  Mormonism  had  not  touched  her 
heart,  and  I  believe  it  is  much  more  the  devotion  of  the  heart 
than  it  is  the  mental  acquiescence  in  doctrine  which  gives  us 
the  power  to  hope,  and  endure  and  believe. 

When,  by-and-by,  my  little  Clara  awoke,  she  was  evidently 
very  much  better,  and  not  only  free  from  the  fever,  but 
bright  and  cheerful,  like  her  former  self,  and  she  never  re- 
lapsed. In  the  course  of  a  week  she  was  running  about  as 
well  as  ever,  and  the  Saints  were  greatly  confirmed  in  their 

126  A    LETTER    FROM    MARY    BURTON. 

One  morning  not  long  after  this,  Madame  Balif  brought  me 
a  letter  which,  as  it  bore  the  English  post-mark,  she  supposed 
came  from  my  husband.  The  writing,  however,  was  strange 
to  me;  and  dreading  that  some  terrible  thing  might  have  hap- 
pened, I  tore  it  open.  There,  at  the  bottom  of  the  last  page — 
for  the  letter  was  very  long — in  neat,  clear  characters,  was  the 
signature  of  my  fairy  friend,  as  I  called  her,  Mary  Burton.  I 
read  the  letter  through  with  the  deepest  interest.  It  was 
addressed  "to  darling  Sister  Stenhouse,"  and  was  overflow- 
ing with  affection.  Used  as  I  was  to  all  her  endearing 
ways,  I  could  almost  fancy  that  while  I  read  I  heard  her 
speaking  the  words.  After  a  great  outpouring  of  love,  she 
said  : — 

Since  you  left  Southampton,  we  have  had  many 

changes.  We  remained  there  until  nearly  all  our  old  friends  had  left  us  and 
emigrated  to  Zion  ;  and  although  my  father  could  not  possibly  go  at  that  time, 
and  I  was  much  too  young  to  travel  alone,  the  President  actually  scolded  me  for 
not  being  willing  to  emigrate  with  the  others.  When  I  told  him  that  I  was 
too  young  to  act  for  myself  he  said  a  good  deal  about  Elder  Shrewsbury.  I  do 
not  know  whether  you  will  remember  Elder  Shrewsbury  but  I  will  try  to  bring  him 
to  your  mind.  Do  you  not  remember  a  gentleman  who  came  several  times  to  the 
meeting  with  me,  and  who  was  at  the  pic-nic  just  before  you  left  England  ?  He 
was  very  young,  with  dark  hair  and  beautiful  dark  eyes  to  match.  He  came 
with  Papa  first  to  the  meeting,  and  then  he  contrived  to  make  friends  with  me, 
and  I  used  to  see  him  very  often,  and  he  paid  me  much  attention. 

I  suppose  I  ought  to  tell  you  all  that  I  think  about  him,  and  how  we  have 
had  such  pleasant  times  together, — and  so  I  would,  too,  if  you  were  here  so  that 
I  might  be  kissed  first,  as  you  used  to  do  ;  but  it  seems  so  formal  to  write  such 
things  on  paper  ;  I'm  afraid  almost  that  ^e  might  see.  No  !  I  never  told  him 
yet  that  I  cared  for  him  a  bit,  and  I  am  not  sure  myself  whether  I  do.  I  think 
he's  very  nice,  but  I  know  he's  a  good  Mormon,  and  if  I  thought  there  was  any 
truth  in  those  things  which  we  used  to  talk  about,  I'd  die  before  I'd  marry  him, 
or  go  to  Salt  Lake  either. 

I  remember  you  talked  to  him  on  the  day  of  the  pic-nic,  and  I  thought  you 
seemed  to  like  him;  in  fact  you  could  not  help  doing  so,  for  he  is  so  clever 
and  so  intellectual.  That  was  a  happy  time  we  had  then  ;  the  brethren  and  sis- 
ters all  seemed  to  have  cast  dull  care  to  the  winds,  and  to  have  given  themselves 
up  to  full  and  free  enjoyment,  with  the  exception  of  one  solitary  pair  of  married 
lovers — you  know  w/io  I  mean — but  now  you  are  again  united,  I  suppose,  and, 
of  course  happy. 

I  told  the  President  that  I  had  not  the  "  spirit  of  gathering,"  and  that  if  my 
father  agreed,  I  would  perhaps  go  next  season;  but,  e/iire  nous,  I  did  not  tell 
him  that  I  had  another  reason  besides.  What  would  you  think,  dear,  if  I  were 
to  go  out  as  a  bride  .-'     But  I  am  very  naughty  I  suppose  to  think  of  such  a  thing. 

HOW    THE    MARRIED    ELDERS    "MADE    LOVE."  127 

Since  you  went,  I  have  grown  quite  an  old  woman.  You  used  to  call  me 
« little  fairy,"  but,  Sister  Stenhouse,  I  am  much  bigger  now.  I  am  now  a  good 
deal  over  fifteen,  and  people  say  that  I  am  getting  to  be  quite  a  woman  I 
might  tell  you  some  other  pretty  things  that  are  said  about  me,  but  I  m  afraid 
you'd  say  it  was  all  vanity  of  vanities.  If  you  stay  away  much  longer  you  won  t 
recognise  me  when  we  meet  again. 

And  now  I  want  to  tell  you  something  that  interests  you  as  much  as  me.  1 
have  not  been  able  to  discover  anything  more  with  certainty  about  those  hateful 
things  of  which  I  told  you,  although  the  word  Polygamy  seems  to  me  to  become 
every  day  much  more  familiar  in  people's  conversation.  Elder  Shrewsbury  tells 
me  that  there  is  not  a  word  of  truth  in  it,  and  he  has  had  a  good  deal  of  conversa- 
tion upon  that  subject  with  the  apostles  who  are  here,  and  also  with  a  man  named 
Curtis  E.  Bolton— an  Elder  from  the  Salt  Lake  ;  and  they  all  positively  declare 
that  it  is  a  foul  slander  upon  the  Saints  of  the  Most  High.  So  you  see  that  all 
our  unhappiness  was  for  nought.  Our  Saviour  said  we  should  be  blessed  when 
all  men  spoke  evil  of  us  falsely  for  His  name's  sake  ;  and  the  wicked  scandal 
which  has  been  raised  against  our  religion  has  had  a  tendency  to  strengthen 
my  faith,  which  you  know  was  rather  wavering. 

And  yet  do  you  know.  Sister  Stenhouse,  that  even  while  I  am  writing  to  you 
in  this  strain,  I  am  weak  enough  to  allow  doubts  and  fears  to  creep  into  my  heart 
when  I  think  of  the  conduct  of  some  of  the  American  brethren. 

They  appear  to  me,  for  married  men,  to  act  so  very  imprudently  ;  and  to  call 
their  conduct  '  imprudent '  is  really  treating  it  with  the  greatest  leniency,  for  I 
have  often  been  quite  shocked  at  the  way  in  which  some  of  the  brethren  and 
sisters  acted.     But  I  will  tell  you  a  little  about  it,  and  you  shall  judge  for  yourself. 
When  I  found  out,  as  I  had  long  suspected,  that  dear  Papa  was  going  to 
marry  again,  I  at  once  resolved  that  I  would  no  longer  be  a  burden  to  him,  but 
would  find  some  employment  and  support  myself.     I  was  induced  to  do  this 
partly  because,  as  you  know,  step-mothers  and  daughters  do  not  always  love  each 
other  quite  as  much  as  they  might.     So  I  communicated  my  wishes  to  Papa,  and 
told  him  that  I  had  been  introduced  to  a  very  nice  lady,  who  has  a  large  dress- 
making establishment  at  the  west  end  of   London  ;    she  is  a  member  of  the 
Church,  and  has  always  been  very  highly  spoken  of.     I  told  him  that  she  em- 
ployed a  number  of  highly  respectable  young  girls,  and  that  four,  at  least,  of 
them  were  members  of  the   Church,  and  that   in  consideration  of  my  lonely 
situation,  and  at  the  earnest  request  of  Elder  Shrewsbury,  she  was  willing  to 
take  me  into  her  house  to  board  and  lodge  me,  and  teach  me  the  business 
thoroughly,  if  my  father  would  pay  her  a  premium  of  fifty  pounds. 

This  Papa  readily  agreed  to  do,  as  I  expected  he  would,  for  he  is  so  taken  up 
with  my  step-mama— that  is  to  be— and  besides  which  he  has,  I  know,  been  un- 
fortunate lately  in  some  railway  speculations,  and  has  lost  a  great  deal  of 
money,  and  therefore  wishes  to  economise.  In  this  way  I  went  to  London, 
and  became  a  member  of  Mrs.  Elsworth's  family— and  here  I  am  still. 

Now  you  have  been  in  London,  Sister  Stenhouse,  and  must  remember  "  the 
office  "  in  Jewin  Street— the  head-quarters  where  all  the  elders  congregate,  and 
where  the  American  elders  board,  and  Church-business  is  managed.  Well, 
the  very  first  week  I  was  at  Mrs.  Elsworth's  I  noticed  that  the  four  young 
sisters  who  were  working  there  were  constantly  talking  of  Jewin  Street  and  the 

128  A    WOMAN    WHO    WAS    ALWAYS    SAD. 

dear  American  brethren  who  were  stopping  there.  One  of  them  in  particular 
was  always  talking  about  dear  Elder  Snow;  and  another  girl  whispered  to  me 
that  she  went  to  Jewin  Street  every  evening,  and  frequently  remained  there  to 
tea  with  him,  and  went  afterwards  to  the  theatre  with  him,  or  to  a  meeting,  as 
the  case  might  be;  and,  the  young  lady  added,  "  She  does  make  such  a  fuss 
over  him,  toying  with  him  and  brushing  and  combing  his  hair.  I  know  that 
she  does  it,  for  I  have  been  there  with  her,  and  have  seen  her  do  it;  and  he 
appears  to  enjoy  it  quite  as  much  as  she  does,  and,  I  believe,  if  Polygamy 
was  true  he  would  marry  her." 

"  But,"  I  said,  "  it  is  not  true,  and  therefore  it  is  very  wrong  for  her  to  act  in 
that  way,  for  he  is  a  married  man." 

"  Oh,  but  you  know,"  she  answered,  "  that  we  are  all  brothers  and  sisters, 
and  the  brethren  tell  us  that  those  little  attentions  make  them  feel  that  they  are 
not  so  far  from  home,  and  they  are  thus  enabled  to  perform  their  mission  better; 
and  if  that  is  so,  it  is  the  duty  of  the  young  sisters  to  encourage  them. 
These  little  attentiotts  cost  nothing,  and  I'm  sure  it's  quite  a  pleasure  to  me." 

"  Then  you  go  to  Jewin  Street  ?"  I  asked. 

"  Yes,"  she  said,  "  sometimes,  but  not  very  often,  for  my  elder  calls  here  fre- 
quently, as  he  is  acquainted  with  Mrs.  Elsworth;  and  then  I  take  my  work  up 
into  the  parlor  sometimes  and  have  a  long  talk  with  him.  Mrs.  Elsworth  does 
not  like  it,  I  know,  but  she  does  not  care  to  oppose  the  Elders; — in  fact  her  hus- 
band will  not  allow  any  such  thing — he  has  dared  her  to  do  so.  After  all, 
she  is  very  silly,  for  we  ought  to  love  each  other  and  be  free  and  friendly. 
My  Elder — I  call  him.  my  elder,  you  know,  simply  because  I  like  him  better  than 
the  others — calls  Mrs.  Elsworth  '  Gentilish,'  and  says  she'll  get  over  when  she 
goes  to  Zion.  But  she  says  she  won't.  She  is  awfully  jealous  of  her  husband 
and  a  certain  Miss  Caroline  somebody,  though  she  doesn't  care  for  him." 

"  But  what  difference  can  it  make  to  him,"  I  asked  her  ;  "  he  has  a  wife  and 
ought  not  to  pay  attention  to  other  women." 

"  Ah,  you  silly  child,"  she  said,  "  it  is  only  brotherly  love,  after  all,  and  men 
often  have  wives  who  do  not  make  them  happy  and  that  makes  them  seek  the 
society  of  the  young  sisters,  for  those  who  are  far  from  home  are  lonely.  My 
own  elder's  wife  is  here  in  London,  but  he  isn't  much  with  her.  He  spends 
nearly  all  his  time  in  Jewin  Street  ;  he  is  a  travelling  Elder,  and  when  he  is 
going  anywhere  to  preach  he  always  calls  for  me,  as  he  does  not  like  going 
alone,  he  is  such  a  genial  soul.  If  Polygamy  were  true  I'd  promise  to  marry  him 
when  we  reached  the  valley." 

Then  I  asked  why  his  wife  didn't  go  with  him,  and  she  said:  "  Oh,  poor  man  ! 
he  has  no  pleasure  in  her  society.  She  is  always  moping  and  unhappy  ;  you 
know,  some  women  are  naturally  so.  I  do  all  I  can  to  make  him  feel  well,  for 
it  must  be  awful  to  be  married  to  a  woman  who  is  always  sad." 

I  asked  her  why  his  wife  should  he  so  unhappy,  and  she  said  :  "  He  tells  me 
that  she  has  got  it  into  her  head  that  somehow  or  other  Polygamy  is  practiced  in 
Zion  ;  and  I'm  sure  I,  for  one,  wish  it  was  so,  for  then  we  could  marry  whoever 
we  pleased." 

"  Oh,  for  shame  !"  I  said,  "  I'm  sure  I'd  never  go  there  if  I  thought  so." 

Then  I  asked  her  whether  she  did  not  think  it  was  wrong  for  her  to  encourage 
the  attentions  of  her  elder  ;  and  she  said  :  "  He  wishes  it  just  as  much  as  I  do, 


and  his  wife  had  better  behave  herself,  or  I'll  marry  him  whether  Polygamy 
exists  or  not  in  Zion  ;  and  he  does  not  know,  though  we  both  suspect,  that  there 
»>  something  in  the  rumors  which  we  have  heard."  Then  I  told  her  I  thought 
it  was  very  wicked  to  encourage  the  visits  of  that  man,  for  I  believe  that  if  he 
paid  a  little  more  attention  to  his  wife  she  would  be  less  unhappy — for  I  sup- 
posed she  knew  of  his  attentions  to  her. 

She  said  the  wife  knew  nothing  about  it  ;  that  he  was  obliged  to  be  out  late 
at  night,  preaching,  or  at  Jewin  Street,  which  I  knew  meant  flirting  with  the  sis- 
ters and  going  to  the  theatre,  and  I  fancy  he  does  more  of  that  than  preaching. 
But  she  seemed  to  think  it  was  all  the  wife's  fault,  and  blamed  her.  I  asked  her 
if  she  would  like  to  be  treated  so,  if  she  were  an  Elder's  wife,  and  had  to  work 
as  hard  and  endure  as  much  as  all  the  Missionaries'  wives  do;  but  she  said  she 
never  could  be  in  such  a  position,  and  told  me  that  I  was  not  a  good  Mormon  or 
I  would  not  set  myself  up  as  the  accuser  of  the  brethren.  But  I  ask  you.  Sister 
Stenhouse,  if  that  is  the  Mormonism  which  the  elders  used  to  teach  us  ? 

And  now  I  have  told  you  all  our  long  talk  together  and  so  you  can  judge  for 
yourself  what  a  change  has  taken  place  since  you  left. 

The  same  day,  after  dinner,  Brother  Snow  called,  in  company  with  two  other 
elders,  to  see  Mrs.  Elsworth,  and  to  ask  her  and  the  girls  to  a  tea-party  the 
next  day.  Mrs.  Elsworth  declined;  but  one  young  lady  would  go  with  Brother 
Snow,  and  Miss  Caroline  went  with  another  Elder  ;  and  my  light-hearted 
friend  waited  till  her  Elder  came  also  to  ask  her.  After  that,  came  Elder  Shrews- 
bury, and  I,  of  course,  was  to  go  with  him. 

With  all  my  faith,  I  am  very  much  troubled  about  these  things.  They  are  not 
right,  I  think.  Why,  scarcely  a  day  passes  but  some  of  those  Elders,  who  appear 
to  have  very  little  to  do,  call  here  and  send  for  one  or  two  of  these  young  sisters, 
and  detain  them  from  their  work,  much  to  the  annoyance  of  poor  Mrs.  Elsworth, 
who  I  believe  will  apostatise  over  it  eventually. 

See  what  a  long  letter  I  have  written  to  you  !  I  am  afraid  it  will  tire  you.  I 
often  long  to  have  you  here,  that  I  might  come  to  you  and  tell  you  all  my 
troubles.  But  perhaps,  after  all,  I  am  wrong,  and  ought  to  see  things  in  a  differ- 
ent light.  Have  not  the  Elders  and  Apostles  positively  denied  that  Polygamy 
or  any  other  sin  was  practiced  in  Utah,  or  formed  any  part  of  the  Mormon 
religion;  and  we  know  that  these  men  of  God  would  not  lie  to  us. 

Be  sure,  dear,  to  write  a  nice  long  letter  to  me  ve7y  soon;  and  with  fondest 
love  remember  your  own 

Mary  Burton." 

I  read  this  letter  carefully  through,  and  I  sat  down  and 
thought  of  dear  Mary  Burton,  and  felt  deeply  sorry  that  she 
should  be  placed  in  a  situation  surrounded  by  so  many 
temptations.  To  myself  the  letter  brought  a  sad  confirmation 
of  all  my  fears.  There  was  something  painful  in  the  thought. 
Had  polygamy  been  openly  avowed  as  a  Mormon  doctrine  I 
should  never  have  joined  the  Church.  But  now,  what  could 
I  do.? 


After  three  months'  absence,  Mr.  Stenhouse  was  to  return 
home,  and  I  went  to  Geneva  to  meet  him,  feeling  very  happy 
when  I  saw  him  once  again.  Numbers  of  persons,  both  in 
Geneva  and  Lausanne  had  been  converted  while  he  was  away 
and  were  waiting  for  him  to  baptize  them  ; — among  them  was 
a  retired  Protestant  minister,  Monsieur  Petitpierre,  of  whom 
t  have  something  yet  to  mention.  We  began  at  last  to  rejoice 
n  our  success  and  to  be  thankful  that  the  Lord  had  answered 
i)ur  prayers. 

I  was  now  more  than  ever  anxious  about  Polygamy.  From 
much  thinking  on  that  subject,  it  had  become  the  haunting 
spectre  of  my  existence,  and  I  dreaded  what  every  day  might 
bring  forth.  The  news  which  my  husband  brought  with  him 
by  no  means  reassured  me.  He  told  me  that  he  had  heard 
in  England  from  the  American  Elders  that  there  was  a 
general  expectation  among  the  Saints  in  Utah  that  at  the 
October  Conference  in  Salt  Lake  City,  Brigham  Young 
would  publish  to  the  world  that  Polygamy  was  a  doctrine  of 
the  Mormon  Church. 

After  all  the  prevarications  and  denials  then  of  the  Apostles 
and  Elders,  Polygamy  among  the  Saints  was  really  a  fact.  As 
the  truth  became  clearer  to  my  mind,  I  thought  I  should  lose 
my  senses  ; — the  very  foundations  of  my  faith  were  shaken, 
and  not  only  did  I  feel  a  personal  repugnance  to  the  unholy 
doctrine,  but  I  began  to  realise  that  the  men  to  whom  I  had 
listened  with  such  profound  respect  and  had  regarded  as  the 
representatives  of  God,  had  been  guilty  of  the  most  deliberate 
and  unblushing  falsehood,  and  I  began  to  ask  myself  whether 
if  they  could  do  this  in  order  to  carry  out  their  purpose  in  one 
particular,  might  they  not  be  guilty  of  deception  upon  other 
points  ?  Who  could  I  trust  now  >  For  ten  years  the  Mormon 
Prophets  and  Apostles  had  been  living  in  Polygamy  at  home, 
while  abroad  they  vehemently  denied  it  and  spoke  of  it  as  a 
deadly  sin.  This  was  a  painful  awakening  to  me  ;  we  had  all 
of  us  been  betrayed  ;  I  lost  confidence  in  man,  and  even  began 
to  question  within  myself  whether  I  could  even  trust  in  God. 

There  was  no  argument  between  Mr.  Stenhouse  and  my- 


self.  It  would  have  been  worse  than  useless,  for  it  was  not 
his  doing,  and  he  assured  me  that  he  had  as  great  a  repug- 
nance to  the  doctrine  as  I  had.  He  had  at  first  only  hinted 
that  it  might  eventually  be  acknowledged  by  the  leaders  of 
the  Church,  but  it  was  a  matter  of  too  deeply  a  personal 
character  for  me  to  keep  silence,  and  I  did  not  rest  until  he 
had  told  me  all.  He  had  not  seen  the  revelation,  but  the 
information  which  he  had  received  was  beyond  a  question  ; 
and  singularly  enough  Elder  Margetts,  the  London  Elder,  of 
whose  flirtation  in  Southampton  I  have  already  spoken,  was  at 
that  time  on  a  visit  to  Switzerland,  and  confirmed  all  that  my 
husband  had  said.  Thus  the  very  man  who,  two  years  before, 
first  excited  my  suspicions,  now  confirmed  my  fears,  and 
openly  stated  as  a  fact,  that  which  he  then  was  ashamed 
almost  to  suggest. 

Elder  Margetts  had  been  in  Utah  from  the  time  I  saw  him 
in  England,  and  was  now  on  a  mission  to  Italy.  He  knew, 
therefore,  very  well  what  was  said  and  done  among  the  Saints 
in  Zion.  I,  and  those  like  me,  whose  faith  was  not  too  strong, 
were  spoken  of  as  '  babes '  to  whom  milk  only  must  be  given ; 
and  in  this  way  any  deception  necessary  to  quiet  our  tender 
consciences  was  allowable ;  but  Elder  Margetts  was  one  ot 
the  '  strong  men '  to  whom  meat  was  necessary : — in  othef 
words,  they  were  initiated  into  all  the  mysteries  of  the  faith. 

My  husband  enjoined  me  not  to  speak  of  what  I  had  heard, 
and  I  felt  very  little  inclination  to  do  so — my  heart  was  too 
full.  The  pleasant  dreams  and  hopes  of  life  were  ended  now 
to  me — what  could  I  look  forward  to  .-•  Henceforth  the  stern 
realities  of  a  lonely  and  weary  existence  were  all  the  future 
that  should  be  mine. 

Still,  the  "Revelation"  sanctioning  a  change  in  the  doctrines 
and  practice  of  the  Church,  was  not  yet  published ;  and  until 
Polygamy  was  openly  avowed  I  felt  that  the  doom  of  my 
happiness  was  not  yet  sealed,  and  like  many  another  heart- 
broken woman,  I  hoped  against  hope. 



Waiting  for  the  Revelation — Tlie  Millennial  Star — The  Revelation  on  the  Order 
of  "  Celestial  Marriage" — "  My  Servant  Joseph  " — The  Keys  of  the  Kingdom 
— Marrying  for  Eternity — The  Unpardonable  Sin — Being  "As  the  Angels" — 
Sealed  by  the  Holy  Spirit — Shedding  Innocent  Blood — The  Example  of 
Abraham — The  Power  of  the  Priesthood — "  Mine  Handmaid,  Emma  Smith  " 
— "If  He  have  Ten  Virgins  Given  Unto  Him" — Let  This  Suffice  for  the 
Present — An  Astonishing  Message  from  Heaven — Learning  to  Bear  the  Cross 
— Without  Hope — Longing  to  Confide  in  Some  One — My  Indignant  Recep- 
tion of  the  "Revelation" — "I  Dared  Not  even  Kneel  to  God" — "There  Was 
"  A  Knock  at  My  Chamber  Door" — Not  a  Very  Entertaining  Party — "The 
Old  Gentleman  Stood  the  Test" — Monsieur  Petitpierre  "Thinks  Prayerfully" 
Over  the  Matter. 

AND  time  flew  by ;  and  at  length  the  dreaded  Revelation 
One  very  pleasant  morning,  early  in  January,  1853,  two 
Elders  of  the  Italian  Mission,  Jabez  Woodward  and  Thomas 
Margetts,  took  breakfast  with  us  ;  and  with  them  also  was 
Mons.  Petitpierre  from  Geneva,  the  Protestant  minister  of 
whom  I  have  already  spoken.  While  I  was  busy  preparing 
the  meal,  Mr.  Stenhouse  and  the  two  English  Elders  went  to 
the  post-office  to  get  their  letters,  for  at  that  time  they  were 
expecting  important  news.  When  they  returned,  breakfast 
was  quite  ready,  and  they  took  their  seats  at  the  table.  I 
asked  if  there  were  any  letters  from  England,  and  my  hus- 
band said :  "  No  ;  no  letters,  but  there  is  a  Star,  and  it  con- 
tains the  Revelation  on  Polygamy." 

He  handed  me  a  copy  of  the  Millennial  Star — a  Mormon 
paper  published  in  Liverpool — and  as  I  took  it,  I  felt  as  if  I 

"celestial  marriage."  135 

were  receiving  my  death-warrant : — it  was  indeed  the  death- 
warrant  to  all  my  hopes  of  happiness.  I  rose  from  the  table, 
asking  them  to  excuse  me  ;  and  overcome  with  agitation  and 
conflicting  emotions,  I  retired  to  my  own  chamber.  There,  for 
the  first  time,  I  read  that  document  which  has  since  brought 
such  sorrow  and  misery  to  so  many  wronged  and  heart- 
broken women.  The  reader  may  perhaps  like  to  see  the  only 
foundation  and  authority  for  the  practice  of  Polygamy,  ever 
produced  by  the  Mormon  leaders.  So  I  copy  exactly  from 
the  Millennial  Star,  what  I  then  read,  leaving  out  only  a  few 
lines  here  and  there,  which  had  no  special  reference  to  the 
subject,  but  helped  to  swell  the  size  of  the  "revelation :" 



Given  to  Jose/i/t  Smith,  the  Seer,  in  Naiivoo,  July  \2th,  1843. 

1.  Verily,  thus  saith  the  Lord,  unto  you,  my  servant  Joseph,  that  inasmuch  a^ 
you  have  inquired  of  my  hand,  to  know  and  understand  wherein  I,  the  Lord, 
justified  my  servants,  Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob;  as  also  Moses,  David,  and 
Solomon,  my  servants,  as  touching  the  principle  and  doctrine  of  their  having 
many  wives  and  concubines  :  Behold  !  and  lo,  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God,  and  will 
answer  thee  as  touching  this  matter :  Therefore  prepare  thy  heart  to  receive  and 
obey  the  instructions  which  I  am  about  to  give  unto  you ;  for  all  those  who  have 
this  law  revealed  unto  them  must  obey  the  same  ;  for  behold  !  I  reveal  unto  you 
a  new  and  everlasting  covenant,  and  if  ye  abide  not  that  covenant,  then  are  ye 
damned ;  for  no  one  can  reject  this  covenant,  and  be  permitted  to  enter  into  my 
glory  ;  for  all  who  will  have  a  blessing  at  my  hands  shall  abide  the  law  which 
was  appointed  for  that  blessing,  and  the  conditions  thereof,  as  was  instituted 
from  before  the  foundations  of  the  world  :  and  as  pertaining  to  the  new  and 
everlasting  covenant,  it  was  instituted  for  the  fulness  of  my  glory;  and  he  that 
receiveth  a  fulness  thereof,  must  and  shall  abide  the  law,  or  he  shall  be  damned, 
saith  the  Lord  God. 

2.  And  verily  I  say  unto  you,  that  the  conditions  of  this  law  are  these  :  All 
covenants,  contracts,  bonds,  obligations,  oaths,  vows,  performances,  connections, 
associations,  or  expectations,  that  are  not  made  or  entered  into,  and  sealed,  by 
the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise,  of  him  who  is  annointed  both  as  well  for  time  and 
for  all  eternity,  and  that  too  most  holy,  by  revelation  and  commandment,  through 
the  medium  of  mine  anointed,  whom  I  have  appointed  on  the  earth  to  hold  this 
power,  (and  I  have  appointed  unto  my  servant  Joseph  to  hold  this  power  in  the 
last  days,  and  there  is  never  but  one  on  the  earth  at  a  time;  on  whom  this  power 
and  the  keys  of  the  priesthood  are  conferred),  are  of  no  efficacy,  virtue,  or  force, 



in  and  after  the  resurrection  from  the  dead  :  for  all  contracts  that  are  not  made 
unto  this  end,  have  an  end  when  men  are  dead. 


4.  Therefore,  if  a  man  marry  him  a  wife  in  the  world,  and  he  marry  her  not 
by  me,  nor  by  my  word  ;  and  he  covenant  with  her  so  long  as  he  is  in  the  world, 
and  she  with  him,  their  covenant  and  marriage  is  not  of  force  when  they  are 
dead,  and  when  they  are  out  of  the  world  ;  therefore  they  are  not  bound  by  any 
law  when  they  are  out  of  the  world  ;  therefore,  when  they  are  out  of  the  world, 
they  neither  marry,  nor  are  given  in  marriage,  but  are  appointed  angels  in 
heaven,  which  angels  are  mmistering  servants,  to  minister  for  those  who  are 
worthy  of  a  far  more,  and  an  exceeding,  and  an  eternal  weight  of  glory;  for  these 
angels  did  not  abide  my  law,  therefore  they  cannot  be  enlarged,  but  remain 
separately  and  singly,  without  exaltation,  in  their  saved  condition,  to  all  eternity, 
and  from  henceforth  are  not  gods,  but  are  angels  of  God  for  ever  and  ever. 

5.  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  a  man  marry  a  wife,  and  make  a  cov- 
enant with  her  for  time,  and  for  all  eternity,  if  that  covenant  is  not  by  me,  or  by 
my  word,  which  is  my  law,  and  is  not  sealed  by  the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise, 
through  him  whom  I  have  anointed  and  appointed  unto  this  power,  then  it  is 
not  valid,  neither  of  force,  when  they  are  out  of  the  world,  because  they  are  not 
joined  by  me,  saith  the  Lord,  neither  by  my  word;  when  they, are  out  of  the 
world,  it  cannot  be  received  there,  because  the  angels  and  the  gods  are  appointed 
there,  by  whom  they  cannot  pass;  they  cannot,  therefore,  inherit  my  glory,  for 
my  house  is  a  house  of  order,  saith  the  Lord  God. 

6.  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  a  man  marry  a  wife  by  my  word,  which 
is  my  law,  and  by  the  new  and  everlasting  covenant,  and  it  is  sealed  unto  them 
by  the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise,  by  him  who  is  anointed,  unto  whom  I  have 
appointed  this  power,  and  the  keys  of  this  priesthood,  and  it  shall  be  said  unto 
them.  Ye  shall  come  forth  in  the  first  resurrection  ;  and  if  it  be  after  the  first 
resurrection,  in  the  next  resurrection;  and  shall  inherit  thrones,  kingdoms, 
principalities,  and  powers,  dominions,  all  heights  and  depths — then  shall  it  be 
written  in  the  Lamb's  Book  of  Life,  that  he  shall  commit  no  murder  whereby  to 
shed  innocent  blood ;  and  if  ye  abide  in  my  covenant,  and  commit  no  murder 
whereby  to  shed  innocent  blood,  it  shall  be  done  unto  them  in  all  things  whatso- 
ever my  servant  hath  put  upon  them,  in  time,  and  through  all  eternity,  and  shall 
be  of  full  force  when  they  are  out  of  the  world  ;  and  they  shall  pass  by  the 
angels,  and  the  gods,  which  are  set  there,  to  their  exaltation  and  glory  in  all 
things,  as  hath  been  sealed  upon  their  heads,  which  glory  shall  be  a  fulness  and 
a  continuation  of  the  seeds  for  ever  and*  ever. 

7.  Then  shall  they  be  gods,  because  they  have  no  end  ;  therefore  s*liall  they 
be  from  everlasting  to  everlasting,  because  they  continue  ;  then  shall  they  be 
above  all,  because  all  things  are  subject  unto  them.  Then  shall  they  be  gods, 
because  they  have  all  power,  and  the  angels  are  subject  unto  them. 


9.  Verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  a  man  marry  a  wife  according  to  my  word, 
and  they  are  sealed  by  the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise,  according  to  mine  appoint- 
ment, and  he  or  she  shall  commit  any  sin  or  transgression  of  the  new  and  ever- 
lasting covenant  whatever,  and  all  manner  of  blasphemies,  and  if  they  commit 
no  murder,  wherein  they  shed  innocent  blood— y&i  they  shall  come  forth  in  the 


first  resurrection,  and  enter  into  their  exaltation,  but  they  shall  he  destroyed  in 
the  flesh,  and  shall  be  delivered  unto  the  buffetings  of  Satan,  unto  the  day  of 
redemption,  saith  the  Lord  God. 

10.  The  blasphemy  against  the  Holy  Ghost,  which  shall  not  be  forgiven  in  this 
world,  nor  out  of  the  world,  is  in  that  ye  commit  murder,  wherein  ye  shed  inno- 
cent blood,  and  assent  unto  my  death,  after  ye  have  received  my  new  and  ever- 
lasting covenant,  saith  the  Lord  God ;  and  he  that  abideth  not  this  law  can  in  no 
wise  enter  into  my  glory,  but  shall  be  damned,  saith  the  Lord. 


13.  God  commanded  Alsraham,  and  Sarah  gave  Hagar  to  Abraham,  to  wife. 
And  why  did  she  do  it  ?  Because  this  was  the  law,  and  from  Hagar  sprang 
many  people.  This,  therefore,  was  fulfilling,  among  other  things,  the  promises. 
Was  Abraham,,  therefore,  under  condemnation?  Verily,  I  say  unto  you.  Nay; 
for  I,  the  Lord,  commanded  it.  Abraham  was  commanded  to  offer  his  son 
Isaac  ;  nevertheless,  it  was  written,  Thou  shalt  not  kill.  Abraham,  however, 
did  not  refuse,  and  it  was  accounted  to  him  for  righteousness. 

14.  Abraham  received  concubines,  and  they  bare  him  children,  and  it  was 
accounted  unto  him  for  righteousness,  because  they  were  given  unto  him,  and  he 
abode  in  my  law  :  as  Isaac  also,  and  Jacob  did  none  other  things  than  that 
which  they  were  commanded,  they  have  entered  into  their  exaltation,  according 
to  the  promises,  and  sit  upon  thrones  ;  and  are  not  angels,  but  are  gods.  David 
also  received  many  wives  and  concubine's,  as  also  Solomon,  and  Moses  my 
servant ;  as  also  many  others  of  my  servants,  from  the  beginning  of  creation 
until  this  time  ;  and  in  nothing  did  they  sin,  save  in  those  things  which  they 
received  not  of  me. 

15.  David's  wives  and  concubines  were  given  unto  him  of  me,  by  the  hand  of 
Nathan,  my  servant,  and  others  of  the  prophets  who  had  the  keys  of  this 
power ;  and  in  none  of  these  things  did  he  sin  against  me,  save  in  the  case  of 
Uriah  and  his  wife  ;  and  therefore,  he  hath  fallen  from  his  exaltation,  and 
received  his  portion  ;  and  he  shall  not  inherit  them  out  of  the  world  ;  for  I  gave 
them  unto  another,  saith  the  Lord. 

16.  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God,  and  I  gave  unto  thee,  my  servant  Joseph,  an 

appointment,  and  restore  all  things ; I  have  conferred 

upon  you  the  keys  and  power  of  the  Priesthood,  wherein  I  restore  all  things,  and 
make  known  unto  you  all  things,  in  due  time. 

17.  And  verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  that  whatsoever  you  seal  on  earth  shall 
be  sealed  in  heaven  ;  and  whatsoever  you  bind  on  earth,  in  my  name,  and  by  my 
word,  saith  the  Lord,  it  shall  be  eternally  bound  in  the  heavens  ;  and  whoseso- 
ever sins  you  remit  on  earth  shall  be  remitted  eternally  in  the  heavens  ;  and 
whosesoever  sins  you  retain  on  earth  shall  be  retained  in  heaven. 

18.  And  again,  verily  I  say,  whomsoever  you  bless  I  will  bless,  and  whomso- 
ever you  curse  I  will  curse,  saith  the  Lord ;  for  I,  the  Lord,  am  thy  God. 

19.  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  my  servant  Joseph,  that  whatsoever  you 
give  on  earth,  and  to  whomsoever  you  give  anyone  on  earth,  by  my  word,  and 
according  to  my  law,  it  shall  be  visited  with  blessings. 


20.  Verily  I  say  unto  you,  a  commandment  I  give  unto  mine  handmaid  Emma 
Smith  your  wife    ....     let  mine  handmaid,  Emma  Sniith,  receive  all  those 


that  have  been  given  unto  my  servant  Joseph,  and  -who  are  virtuous  and  pure 
before  me  ;  and  those  who  are  not  pure,  and  have  said  they  were  pure,  shall  be 
destroyed,  saith  the  Lord  God  !....!  give  unto  my  servant  Joseph,  that 
he  shall  be  made  ruler  over  many  things,  for  he  hath  been  faitliful  over  a  few 
things,  and  from  hencefca-th  I  will  strengthen  him. 

21.  And  I  command  mine  handmaid,  Emma  Smith,  to  abide  and  cleave  unto 
my  servant  Joseph,  and  to  none  else.  But  if  she  will  not  abide  this  command- 
ment, she  shall  be  destroyed,  saith  the  Lord  ;  for  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God,  and 
will  destroy  her  if  she  abide  not  in  my  law  ;  but  if  she  will  not  abide  this  com- 
mandment, then  shall  my  servant  Joseph  do  all  things  for  her,  even  as  he  hath 
said  ;  and  I  will  bless  him,  and  multiply  him,  and  give  unto  him  a  hundred  fold 
in  this  world,  of  fathers  and  mothers,  brothers  and  sisters,  houses  and  lands, 
wives  and  children,  and  crowns  of  eternal  lives  in  the  eternal  worlds.  And 
again,  verily  I  say,  let  mine  handmaid  forgive  my  servant  Joseph  his  trespasses, 
and  then  shall  she  be  forgiven  her  trespasses,  wherein  she  has  trespassed  against 
me  ;  and  I,  the  Lord  thy  God,  will  bless  her,  and  multiply  her,  and  make  her 
heart  to  rejoice. 


24.  And  again,  as  pertaining  to  the  law  of  the  priesthood  :  If  any  man  espouse 
a  virgin,  and  desire  to  espouse  another,  and  the  first  give  her  consent ;  and  if  he 
espouse  the  second,  and  they  are  virgins,  and  have  vowed  to  no  other  man,  then 
is  he  justified  ;  he  cannot  commit  adultery,  for  they  are  given  him  ;  for  he  can- 
not commit  adultery  with  that  that  belongeth  unto  him,  and  to  none  else  ;  and  if 
he  have  ten  virgins  given  unto  him  by  this  law,  he  cannot  commit  adultery,  for 
they  belong  to  him  ;  and  they  are  given  unto  him — therefore  is  he  justified.  But 
if  one  or  either  of  the  ten  virgins,  after  she  is  espoused,  shall  be  with  another 
man,  she  has  committed  adultery,  and  shall  be  destroyed ;  for  they  are  given 
unto  him  to  multiply  and  replenish  the  earth,  according  to  my  commandment, 
and  to  fulfil  the  promise  which  was  given  by  my  Father  before  the  foundation  of 
the  world  ;  and  for  their  exaltation  in  the  eternal  worlds,  that  they  may  bear  the 
souls  of  men ;  for  herein  is  the  work  of  my  Father  continued,  that  He  may  be 

25.  And  again,  verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  any  man  have  a  wife  who  holds 
the  keys  of  this  power,  and  he  teaches  unto  her  the  law  of  my  priesthood,  as 
pertaining  to  these  things ;  then  shall  she  believe  and  administer  unto  him,  or 
she  shall  be  destroyed,  saith  the  Lord  your  God ;  for  I  will  destroy  her ;  for 
I  will  magnify  my  name  upon  all  those  who  receive  and  abide  in  my  law. 
Therefore,  it  shall  be  lawful  in  me,  if  she  receive  not  this  law,  for  him  to  receive 
all  things  whatsoever  I,  the  Lord  his  God,  will  give  unto  him,  because  she  did 
not  believe  and  administer  unto  him,  according  to  my  word  ;  and  she  then 
becomes  the  transgressor,  and  he  is  exempt  from  the  law  of  Sarah,  who  admin- 
istered unto  Abraham  according  to  the  law,  when  I  commanded  Abraham  to 
take  Hagar  to  wife.  And  now,  as  pertaining  to  this  law  :  Verily,  verily  I  say 
unto  you,  I  will  reveal  more  unto  you,  hereafter ;  therefore,  let  this  suffice  for 
the  present.     Behold,  I  am  Alpha  and  Omega.     Amen. 

And  this  was  the  "  revelation  !  " — this  mass  of  confusion, 
cunning  absurdity,  falsehood,  and  bad  grammar !     TJiis  was 

HOW    THE    "revelation"    CAME    TO    ME.  1 39 

the  celebrated  document  which  was  henceforth  to  be  law  to 
the  confiding  men  and  women  who  had  embraced  Mormonism ! 
Looking  at  it  now  ;  noting  its  inconsistencies  and  its  flagrant 
outrage  upon  common  decency  and  morality,  I  can  hardly 
credit  that  I  should  ever  have  been  such  a  silly  dupe  as  to 
give  it  a  second  thought.  And  yet,  what  could  I  do  .'*  I  was 
bound  hand  and  foot,  as  it  were,  and  my  very  vision  itself 
was  distorted.  Unquestioning  obedience,  we  had  been 
taught,  was  the  highest  virtue  ;  rebellion  was  as  the  sin  of 
witchcraft.  I  had  been  convinced  of  the  truth  of  some  of  the 
tenets  of  the  Mormon  faith,  and  confident  in  them,  I  accepted 
without  question  all  the  rest.  Never,  till  the  possibility  that 
polygamy  might  some  day  be  acknowledged  by  the  Church, 
began  to  be  whispered  among  the  Saints — never  did  a  solitary 
doubt  respecting  my  religion  intrude  itself  upon  my  mind  ; 
and  after  my  apprehensions  were  fairly  aroused  by  those 
rumors,  whenever  I  felt  the  faintest  shadow  of  unbelief  or 
suspicion  arising  in  my  heart,  I  banished  it  as  an  unholy 
thing.  The  time  had  not  yet  come  when  I  could  judge  dis- 
passionately :  the  "  revelation  "  aroused  within  me  feelings  of 
horror  and  dismay,  but  I  did  not  dare  to  question  its  authen- 
ticity. It  brought  bitterness  to  my  soul,  but  I  believed  it  was 
from  God,  and  that  I  must  learn  to  bear  the  cross  patiently. 

I  did  not  at  that  time  read  the  document  through  from 
beginning  to  end.  No  ;  my  indignation  was  such  that  before 
I  had  read  half  of  it  I  threw  it  from  me  in  anger.  Perhaps  if 
I  had  read  it  all,  and  considered  it  carefully,  my  own  judg- 
ment and  my  sense  of  right  and  wrong  might  have  pointed 
out  its  absurdity  and  wickedness.  But  I  was  far  from  being 
tranquil  enough  to  think  calmly.  I  felt  bitterly  that  this  new 
doctrine  was  a  degradation  to  woman,  and  I  wondered  why 
God  should  see  fit  to  humiliate  my  sex  in  this  way.  I  was 
willing  to  devote  myself,  my  life,  my  all  to  His  service,  but 
wherefore  should  He  doom  me  to  everlasting  sorrow. 

What  now  was  to  be  a  woman's  lot  among  the  Mormons  ? 
A  life  without  hope  !  Who  can  express  the  terrible  meaning 
of  those  words — without  hope  !     Yet  so  it  was.     Hereafter 

140  ALONE    AND    IN    TROUBLE. 

our  hearts  were  to  be  daily  and  hourly  trampled  upon  ;  the 
most  sacred  feelings  of  our  sex  were  to  be  outraged,  our  affec- 
tions were  to  be  crushed  ; — henceforth  we  were  to  be  nothing 
by  ourselves  ;  without  a  husband,  we  were  told,  we  could  not 
even  enter  heaven !  But  had  our  trials  been  limited  to  this 
life  we  might  have  borne  them,  as  many  a  weary  soul  has 
done,  waiting  for  the  relief  of  death.  But  death  was  to  bring 
no  hope  to  us :  we  were  told  that  in  the  other  world  Polygamy 
should  be  the  only  order  of  marriage,  and  that  without  it  none 
could  be  exalted  in  glory.  We  were  told  these  things  by  men 
who  we  believed  were  true  and  holy  men  of  God;  and  we 
trusted  in  them. 

Rebellious  I  felt,  indeed,  as  I  paced  the  room  after  I  had 
thrown  the  Revelation  on  the  ground  :  I  almost  felt  as  if  I 
should  lose  'my  reason.  A  woman  in  the  time  of  trouble 
always  looks  to  some  one  in  whom  she  can  confide ;  but  to 
whom  could  I  turn  for  one  kind  or  cheering  word — %vho  would 
comfort  me }  I  had  neither  relation  or  friend  to  whom  I 
could  speak  of  tJiis  trial ;  there  was  no  one  who  could  under- 
stand me.  I  could  not  turn  to  my  husband  in  tJiis  sorrow,  and 
I  dared  not  even  kneel  to  my  God  to  implore  His  aid.  It  was 
He,  they  said,  who  had  declared  this  revelation  was  His  will ; 
how  then  could  I  turn  to  Him  }  No  ;  my  heart  sank  within 
me  ;  henceforth  there  was  to  be  no  hope,  no  peace  for  me ! 

There  was  a  knock  at  my  chamber  door,  and  my  husband 
came  in.  He  knew  how  acutely  I  must  feel,  and  he  came  to 
comfort  me.  I  was  almost  choked  with  emotion  and  tears, 
but  he  threw  his  arms  round  me  tenderly  and  spoke  to  me  as 
if  I  had  been  a  child  that  needed  consolation.  He  tried  to 
persuade  me  that  God  as  a  loving  Father  could  never  have 
intended  the  pain  or  misery  of  his  children,  and  that  v/hen  we 
came  to  understand  the  doctrine  better,  we  shouH  find  that 
all  would  be  well.  He  spoke  also  of  his  own  unchanging 
attachment,  and  appealed  to  me  whether  I  thought  he  could 
ever  love  me  less  or  place  his  affections  on  another. 

I  tried  to  believe,  and  when  I  felt  a  little  better  I  went  with 
him  to  the  breakfast  room  where  the  others  were  waiting  for  us. 

AN    OLD    MAN  S    IDEA    OF    ISHMAEL.  I4I 

We  were  not  a  very  entertaining  party  that  morning.  The 
Elders  present,  of  course  knew  what  had  kept  me  in  my 
room,  and  their  attempt  at  cheerfuhiess  was  not  very  success- 
ful. My  husband  was  in  sympathy  with  me,  and  I  have  np 
doubt  that  I  looked  sad  enough.  There  was  only  one  person 
present  who  did  not  appreciate  the  situation — Monsieur 
Petitpierre,  the  Protestant  minister — and  they  handed  the 
Revelation  to  him.  Mr.  Stenhouseand  the  other  Elders  had 
some  misgivings  as  to  how  he  would  receive  it,  and  they  were 
afraid  it  might  disgust  him  with  Mormonism.  But  the  old 
gentleman  stood  the  test  bravely,  and  I  saw  then,  as  I  have 
seen  since,  that  men  can  be  easily  satisfied  that  the  Revelation 
on  Polygamy,  or  any  other  revelation,  is  divine,  if  they  desire 
it  to  be  so. 

Here  was  old  Monsieur  Petitpierre,  a  man  of  more  than 
three  score  years,  -and  childless.  To  him  the  example  of 
Abraham  and  Solomon  appeared  most  instructive — an  ex- 
ample which  might  be  followed  with  advantage.  His  wife, 
like  Sarah  of  old,  had  never  been  called  by  a  mother's  name  ; 
and  now  although,  thus  far,  he  had  no  idea  who  might  act  the 
part  of  a  second  Hagar,  there  seemed  a  fair  chance  that  a 
little  Ishmael  might  perpetuate  the  race  of  Petitpierres  on 
earth,  if  only  the  Revelation  was  acted  upon  by  the  faithful. 

"  It  ought  to  be  prayerfully  thought  of,"  he  said. 

Prayerfully  thought  of !  Poor,  silly  old  man  !  Before  then 
I  had  respect  for  his  years  and  learning ;  but  now — what  could 
I  think  of  a  man  who  talked  such  nonsense .''  Had  the  revela- 
tion told  him  that  the  wife  of  his  youth,  now  tottering  in  step, 
and  with  hair  silvered  by  age,  was  commanded  to  take  two  or 
a  dozen  young  husbands — I  wondered  whether  he  would  have 
added  with  such  satisfaction :  "  It  ought  to  be  prayerfully 
thought  of ! " 

From  that  day  I  learned  to  regard  polygamy  as  an  essential 
part  of  the  Mormon  faith,  and  such  for  many  years  the  world 
has  considered  it ;  but  when  I  first  joined  the  Church,  such 
an  innovation  would  have  appeared  to  the  European  Saints 
beyond  the  wildest  fancies  of  a  dream 



Preaching  Polygamy — A  Phase  of  Missionary  Life — An  Embarrassing  Position 
— Bearing  the  Cross— One  Ever-Present  Thought— The  Haunting  Spectre  of 
My  Life— My  Little  Daughter  Clara— The  Work  of  Repentance— Why  Men 
are  Sent  on  Mission — Working  in  the  Dark — Days  and  Nights  of  Prayer  and 
Fasting — Preparing  for  Work — Breaking  the  News — My  First  Convert — The 
Victim  Chosen — The  "Beauties"  of  "Celestial  Matrimony" — Introducing  a 
Pleasant  Subject — "Came  Down  Stairs  Singing" — A  Cruel  Task — "Does 
My  Serge  Believe  This?  "— "  I  Tried  to  Comfort  Her" — Not  Wisely,  but  Too 
Well — How  the  Swiss  Women  Received  the  Revelation — A  Companion  in 
Misery — A  Letter  from  Mary  Burton — Polygamy  in  England — Elder  Shrews- 
bury in  Difficulties — Love  and  Religion — How  Polygamy  Was  Denied — 
Looking  Most  Miserable — "He  Kissed  My  Hand  Sorrowfully." 

1N0W  entered  upon  a  new  phase  of  my  Missionary  life ; 
the  Elders  assured  me  that  it  was  my  duty  to  teach 
Polygamy  to  the  women  of  Switzerland. 

Hitherto,  although  I  had  suffered  much  from  poverty  and 
privation,  my  work  as  a  Missionary  had  been  very  pleasant. 
I  believed  with  my  whole  heart  all  that  I  taught,  and  my  best 
■wishes  for  the  people  around  me  were  that  they  might 
become  altogether  such  as  I  was,  except  in  my  sufferings. 

Now,  however,  all  this  was  changed.  It  was  no  longer  sal- 
vation through  faith  in  Christ,  or  repentance,  or  baptism  ;  it 
was  no  longer  love  and  peace  for  this  world  and  the  promise 
of  everlasting  joy  in  the  world  to  come,  that  I  was  called  upon 
to  teach.  My  task  hitherto  had  been  a  labor  of  love  ;  now 
it  was  to  be  a  weary  work  of  pain.  How  could  I  teach 
the  sisters,  the  affection  of  whose  guileless  hearts  I  had 
won  to  myself — how  could  I  teach  them  that  which  my  own 

THE    SPECTRE    OF    MY    DREAMS.  143 

heart   abhorred,  a  doctrine  which   I    hated   with   my  whole 

soul ! 

How  I  strove  against  my  rebellious  nature :  how  I  battled 
with  myself!  That  God  had  sent  the  Revelation  I  never 
questioned,  and  all  rebellion  to  His  will  I  knew  must  be 
sinful.  I  had  no  thought  of  evading  the  responsibility :  my 
heart  must  be  subdued.  It  might  be  subdued  ;  it  might  be 
crushed  and  broken,  but  I  could  never  again,  I  felt,  be  truly 
happy.  I  tried  to  reason  with  myself  and  to  persuade  myself 
that  it  was  I  who  was  to  blame  and  not  the  Revelation.  If  the 
Lord  required  me  to  submit,  it  must  be  for  some  good  pur- 
pose, and  I  must  not  refuse  the  cross  that  He  called  upon  me 
to  bear.  Sometimes  for  a  few  moments  something  would 
attract  my  attention  and  divert  my  thoughts  ;  but  the  terrible 
reality — Polygamy,  refused  to  be  ignored,  and  I  felt  all  the 
more  bitterly  afterwards.  I  never  was  happy,  for  life  had 
lost  its  charm  to  me.  Ere  I  slept  at  night  one  dreadful 
thought  was  haunting  my  pillow, — it  disturbed  my  very 
dreams, — and  when  I  awoke  in  the  morning,  it  was  with  a 
feverish  apprehension  of  coming  evil  hanging  over  me.  All 
through  the  long,  weary  day  it  haunted  my  footsteps  like  a 
spectre,  and  like  a  fearful  blight  that  had  fallen  upon  me  it 
seemed  to  be  withering  my  soul.  One  thought  was  ever 
present  in  my  mind — that  thought.  Polygamy  ! 

It  can  be  no  wonder  that  I  lost  all  interest  in  life,  and  that 
I  should  almost  wish  to  die  rather  than  live  that  life  of  degra- 
dation which  I  dreaded  would  be  mine.  But  death  flies  from 
those  who  woo  her ;  the  wretched,  the  weary,  the  hopeless, 
they  find  her  not.  I  felt  that  there  was  no  rest  for  me.  My 
only  comfort  was  in  my  children  ;  no  revelation,  I  felt,  could 
change  their  relationship  to  me.  But  over  my  little  daughter 
Clara  I  mourned,  for  I  thought  if  this  revelation  were  acted 
upon  by  the  Saints,  as  doubtless  it  would  be,  she  would  some 
day  be  called  upon  to  suffer  as  I  did.  How  little  did  I  then, 
however,  anticipate  in  what  way  my  fears  would  be  realised ! 
My  Clara  is  now  the  daughter-in-law  of  Brigham  Young, 
having  married  his  eldest  son,  Joseph  A.  Young. 


I  am  afraid  at  that  time  I  was  somewhat  of  a  trial  to  mv 
husband,  for  my  heart  was  not  yet  quite  subdued.  I  grew 
impatient  at  the  wrong  which  I  felt  had  been  done  to  me,  and 
I  often  said  bitter  things  against  the  Prophet  of  the  Lord  and 
all  his  sex,  including  my  husband,  who  was  then,  and  for 
years  after,  a  devoted  Mormon,  and  was  quite  horrified  at 
what  I  said.  He  often  told  me  that  I  was  a  great  hindrance  to 
him,  and  that  it  was  impossible  for  any  one  who  lived  with  me 
to  enjoy  the  Spirit  of  God, — and  I  was  afraid  that  he  only 
spoke  the  truth. 

Then  I  repented,  and  sought  to  chasten  myself ;  and  I  fasted 
and  prayed  and  asked  forgiveness  of  God  and  my  husband. 
But  even  when  most  subdued  I  was  as  unhappy  as  ever,  and 
some  one  was  sure  to  say  something  which  reminded  me  of 
my  trouble,  and  whenever  the  Elders  came  to  the  house  they 
were  sure  to  discuss  the  one  painful  topic.  Then  my  indig- 
nant feelings  all  came  back  again,  and  I  felt  the  spirit  of  rebel- 
lion stirring  within  me.  I  could  not  help  it,  for  I  felt  that 
woman's  nature  itself  was  insulted  by  the  degrading  doctrine, 
and  any  mention  of  it  excited  my  anger. 

My  husband  and  the  Elders  had  anticipated  that  I  would 
not  readily  submit,  and  they  bore  with  me  as  patiently  as  they 
could,  losing  no  opportunity  of  strengthening  me  in  the  faith, 
ever  keeping  before  me  the  obligation  that  rested  upon  me 
in  particular  to  explain  the  doctrine  to  the  Swiss  sisters. 
They  knew  very  well  that  nothing  tends  more  to  confirm  the 
faith  of  the  wavering  than  setting  them  to  teach  others.  Brig- 
ham  Young  has  always  acted  on  this  principle,  and  whenever 
any  of  the  brethren  have  evinced  signs  of  doubt  or  disaffection 
they  have  been  at  once  despatched  on  Mission.  Their  efforts 
to  convert  others,  established  their  own  faith. 

Among  the  Swiss  we  had  never  spoken  on  Polygamy  or  any 
kindred  subject,  and  we  were  therefore  spared  the  humiliation 
which  the  British  Elders  experienced  in  having  to  retract  their 
own  teachings.  Nevertheless,  Mr.  Stenhouse  and  the  other 
Elders  felt  great  anxiety  as  to  how  the  new  doctrine  would  be 
received.     My  husband  did  not  at  once  openly  tell  them  that 


such  a  Revelation  had  been  sent  from  Zion ;  but  whenever  an 
opportunity  presented  he  took  them  aside  singly  and  spoke  to 
them  about  the  ancient  patriarchs  who  practiced  Polygamy  ; 
and  so  great  was  his  influence  with  the  converts  that  he  soon 
won  them  over  to  the  new  teaching,  and  made  them  feel  that 
they  would  not  be  justified  in  rejecting  the  Revelation.  Many 
of  the  Swiss  Saints  before  their  conversion  had  been  more 
Socialists  than  Christians,  and  they  probably  thought  that  this 
change  in  the  marriage  institution  was  a  sign  of  advancing  in- 
tellectual supremacy ;  but  their  wives  were  very  far  from  shar- 
ing these  opinions  with  them. 

After  many  days  and  nights  of  prayer  and  fasting  I  prepared 
myself  for  my  work.     To  a  certain  extent  I   had  brought  my 
own  self  under  control,  or  I  thought  I  had,  and  I  almost  felt 
anxious  to  begin,  so  that  I  might  get  over  the  painful  scenes 
which  I  fully  anticipated.     It  was  agreed  that  Madame  Baliff, 
of  whom  I  have  already  spoken  as  being  rather  sceptical  when 
my  child  recovered  from  her  critical  condition,  should  be  the 
first  to  whom  the  intelligence  should  be  imparted,  for  it  was 
thought  that  if  she  accepted  the  Revelation  without  much  diffi- 
culty, the  other  sisters  would  be  more  easily  won  over.     She 
was  a  well-educated  and  intelligent  woman,  and  had  seen  a 
good  deal  of  the  world.     She  had  met  her  husband  while  trav- 
elling in  Russia,  had  married  him,  and  they  had  returned  to 
their  native  land.     She  was  in  every  respect  a  lady,  but  she 
was  a  spoilt  child  and  had  her  whims ;  and  she  possessed  a 
great  influence  over  the  minds  of  the  other  sisters.     On  this  ac- 
count it  was  that  she  was  selected  as  the  victim  to  whom 
should  first  be  imparted  the  mysteries  of  the  Revelation,  for  it 
was  thought  that  whatever  reception  she  might  give  to  Polyga- 
my, her  views  would  greatly  influence  the  conduct  of  the  rest. 
As  I  before  mentioned,  Madame  Baliff  and  her  husband  were 
models  of  affection  to  one  another,  and  it  seemed  to  me  quite 
a  sin  that  I  should  introduce  into  such  a  household  a  doctrine 
which  could  only  produce  disunion  and  misery.     I  had,  how- 
ever, schooled  my  heart  to  what  I  thought  was  my  duty,  and 
I  strove  to  smother  the  rebellion  rising  within  me.     But,  after 

146  "I    HESITATED    STILL." 

all  it  seemed  to  me  hardly  fair  that  I  should  be  selected  for  this 
paihful  task.  These  husbands  had  not  courage  enough,  or  were 
ashamed,  to  tell  their  own  wives  about  this  wonderful  Revela- 
tion; and  so  I,  a  weak  woman,  hating  in  my  heart  the  doctrine 
as  much  as  a  woman  could  hate — /  was  chosen  to  introduce 
this  pleasant  subject,  and  to  persuade  those  I  loved  to  their 
own  ruin.  I  had  had  it  all  fully  explained  to  me,  and  I  thor- 
oughly understood  the  beauties  of  the  system  in  the  sight  of 
the  Elders,  and  what  they  considered  the  strong  points  in  the 
Revelation  ; — but  it  is  miserable  work  to  try  to  convince  others 
of  a  thing  that  you  yourself  detest. 

One  day,  quite  unexpectedly  to  her,  they  had  told  Madame 
Baliff  that  a  new  Revelation  had  been  sent  from  Zion,  and  that 
I  would  explain  it  to  her;  then  Monsieur  Baliff  left  the  house 
and  remained  absent  until  the  wife  whom  he  so  devotedly 
loved  should  have  heard  this  new  thing. 

Madame  Baliff  came  down  stairs  singing,  in  her  usual  gay 
spirits,  little  expecting  what  she  was  going  to  hear ;  and  when 
she  came  to  me  I  felt  so  unfitted  for  my  task  that  I  dared  not 
look  her  straight  in  the  face,  although  she  was  my  dearest 
friend  and  I  had  such  an  affection  for  her.  I  stood  there,  pale 
and  trembling,  and  she"thought  that  I  was  not  well ; — I  was  not 
indeed  well — I  was  sick  at  heart.  Never  before  had  the  face 
of  a  friend  been  so  unwelcome. 

She  asked  me  what  it  was  that  I  had  to  tell  her ;  and  w^hen 
I  hesitatingly  denied  having  wanted  to  speak  to  her  at  all,  she 
said  she  knew  there  must  be  something,  as  her  husband  had 
told  her  so. 

I  hesitated  still ;  but  at  last  found  courage,  and  told  her  all. 
It  was  a  cruel  task  to  impose  upon  me.  Day  after  day  I  had 
observed  her  and  her  husband,  I  had  noticed  their  deep  affec- 
tion ;  had  seen  her  watching  at  the  window  for  his  return ; 
and  he  would  come  with  a  little  offering  of  choice  fruit  or  flow- 
ers :  and  I  thought  no  woman  could  be  happier  than  Madame 
Baliff.  And  now  for  me  to  so  cruelly  awaken  them  from  their 
dream  of  bliss  !  , 

She  sat  and  listened  eagerly  as  I  told  my  story ;  and  when 


at  length  she  began  to  understand  what  was  meant  by  it,  she 
thought  that  I  must  be  playing  some  unseasonable  joke  upon 
her,  and  showed  as  much  in  her  countenance.  But  when  she 
saw  that  I  really  was  in  earnest,  she  sprang  up  and  cried  out : 
"  Oh,  my  God !  what  a  beastly  religion !  How  dared  your 
husband  and  you  come  to  us  Swiss  with  such  a  religion  as 
that  ?"  My  eyes  sank  before  her  as  she  turned  on  me  with 
mingled  rage  and  disgust,  as  if  she  would  wither  me  with  her 
contemptuous'  looks.  I  felt  as  humbled  as  if  I  myself  had 
been  the  author  of  the  Revelation. 

"And  does  my  Serge  believe  this.''"  she  cried. 

I  assured  her  that  he  did  believe  it,  and  she  paced  the  room, 
to  and  fro,  as  if  she  would  go  crazy ;  my  heart  ached  for  her. 
She  gave  way  to  a  perfect  storm  of  rage,  and  then  sobbed  and 
cried  like  a  child  who  had  lost  its  mother.  I  was  silent,  for  I 
knew  how  she  must  feel,  and  I  felt  that  she  would  be  relieved 
by  tears.  I  had  gone  through  the  trial  all  alone,  without  one 
word  from  a  woman's  heart  that  could  reach  my  own.  And  I 
tried  to  comfort  her.  I  remembered  how  I  had  felt  myself, 
and  I  believed  that  thus  it  was  now  with  her.  In  an  instant, 
when  I  first  realised  that  Polygamy  had  anything  to  do  with 
me,  just  as  I  have  heard  it  said  of  dying  men,  all  my  past  life 
rushed  to  my  remembrance,  and  every  word  or  deed  of  love 
therein,  stood  out  in  brightest  reality.  Thus  I  doubted  not  it 
was  with  my  friend.  Every  tender  word  which  her  husband 
had  ever  uttered ;  every  loving  deed  he  had  ever  done,  came 
to  her  recollection  with  a  ten-fold  dearness  as  she  reahsed  the 
horrors  which  awaited  her  in  the  future. 

How  little  did  we  either  of  us  imagine  the  story  she  would 
afterwards  tell  me  in  Utah  ! 

I  tried  to  soothe  her,  and  she  threw  her  arms  passionately 
round  me,  and  pressed  me  to  her  throbbing  heart,  and  wept 
again.  She  thought  of  her  husband  and  her  little  girls.  But 
with  all  her  fears  she  dreamed  not  how  miserable  was  the  life 
before  her  in  poverty  and  Polygamy.  She  was  herself  hand- 
some in  form  and  fair  in  feature,  and,  in  the  full  enjoyment  of 
all  that  could  be  desired  in  her  sphere  of  life,  she  was  as  happy 


as  a  youthful  wife  could  be.  She  pictured  to  herself  a  time — 
not  now,  h^  Serge  loved  her  too  truly  7ioiv — when  her  hus- 
band might  cast  his  eyes  upon  some  blooming  damsel,  younger 
than  she  was  then,  and  might  begin  to  take  a  nearer  interest 
in  Polygamy.  She  pictured  him  bestowing  on  the  youthful 
beauty  the  love  and  tenderness  which  he  had  always  bestowed 
on  her; — how  his  affections  would  die  out  towards  her ;  how  her 
heart  would  be  desolate  and  alone  ! 

I  took  her  hand  in  mine  and  spoke  very  gently  to  her,  and 
when  she  was  calmer,  I  talked  to  her  more  freely.  We  found 
now,  as  we  tried  to  look  our  common  enemy,  in  the  face,  how 
strong  a  hold  Mormonism  had  taken  of  us ;  and  it  is  in  this 
that  persons  unacquainted  with  the  Saints  have  so  greatly  mis- 
judged the  women  of  Utah;  they  know  how  small  a  hold  such 
a  religion — now  they  look  upon  Mormonism  and  Polygamy  as 
identical — would  have  upon  them ;  and  they  forget  how  all- 
absorbing  was  our  faith  in  Mormonism  witJiout  Polygamy.  We 
confided  not  wisely,  but  too  well. 

Had  Polygamy  been  an  invention  of  our  husbands,  or  a  sys- 
tem which  they  capriciously  adopted,  we  might  have  been 
grieved,  but  we  should  have  known  how  to  act,  for  we  were  in 
a  Christian  country  where  women  had  rights  as  well  as  men  ; 
— it  was  our  own  hearts  which  were  traitors  to  us.  We  had 
been  taught  to  regard  Abraham  and  Jacob,  and  David  and 
Solomon  as  types  of  holiness,  as  men  who  were  fit  objects  for 
imitation ;  and  now  it  was  proved  to  us,  from  Scripture,  that 
these  men  were  Polygamists,  and  yet  were  blessed  by  God  ; 
and  we  were  called  upon  to  follow  their  example.  Thus  we 
tried  to  crush  out  the  remembrance  of  our  own  womanhood. 
Had  we  but  followed  the  light  of  reason  which  God  had  given 
for  our  guide,  we  should  have  trampled  in  the  dust  that  vile 
burlesque  upon  the  holy  religion  of  Jesus,  called  a  "  Revelation 
upon  Celestial  Marriage."  As  it  was,  the  religious  teachings 
which  we  had  received  both  before  and  after  we  embraced 
Mormonism  alike  combined  to  blind  us  to  the  truth. 

In  this  state  of  mind  we  knelt  and  prayed  for  the  Lord  to 
increase  our  faith  in  that  very  doctrine  which  in  our  hearts  we 

A   COMPANION    IN    MISERY.  1 49 

cursed  and  hated;  and  on  our  knees  we  wept  again;  and 
natural  feelings  of  repugnance  mingled  with  an  earnest  strug- 
gle to  submit  to  the  will  of  God.  Madame  Baliff  had  not  so 
much  faith  in  Mormonism  as  I  had,  and  she  had  consequently- 
less  to  trouble  her  in  that  respect ;  but  she  loved  her  husband, 
and  she  knew  that  he  was  determined  to  go  to  Zion  as  soon 
as  he  could,  and  then  not  only  would  all  the  luxuries  of  a  happy 
home  be  sacrificed,  but  all  her  anticipations  of  the  future  were 
overshadowed  by  a  terrible  apprehension.  Thus  we  were 
equally  troubled,  though  I  had  to  endure  most,  as  the  task  of 
teaching  fell  upon  me.  I  did  at  last  manage  to  persuade  her 
not  to  offer  any  active  opposition  to  the  revelation,  but  I  could 
not  satisfy  her  that  all  was  right.  She  even  went  so  far  as  to 
promise  to  try  to  overcome  her  own  feelings,  for  if  it  was  really 
true  she  did  not  wish  to  be  found  fighting  against  the  Lord. 
She  had,  however,  hardly  ceased  speaking  when  the  thought 
of  her  little  daughters  crossed  her  mind  and  once  more  she 
paced  the  room  like  an  enraged  tigress,  declaring  angrily 
that  "no  vile  Polygamist  should  ever  possess  either  of  her 
sweet  girls."     I  had  felt  like  this  for  my  own  darling  Clara. 

I  had  now  a  companion  in  misery — some  one  who  could 
sympathise  with  me.  Even  had  my  husband  detested  the  doc- 
trine, as  I  did,  he  could  not  have  comforted  me  as  a  woman 
and  a  mother  could.  My  poor  friend  could  feel  as  I  felt,  and 
her  sympathy  was  very  dear  to  me — misery  loves  companion- 
ship— we  were  sisters  in  affliction.  Not  only  so — Madame 
Baliff  declared  that  this  painful  task  should  not  rest  on  me 
alone ;  she  would  help  me  in  speaking  to  the  sisters.  Thus 
we  helped  each  other  in  the  time  of  our  trouble. 

It  must  have  been  about  this  time  that  I  received  another 
letter  from  Mary  Burton.  The  postmark  is  quite  indistinct, 
but  a  week  or  two  one  way  or  the  other  does  not  signify 
much.  In  her  usual  quick  and  impulsive  way  she  gave  me 
her  views  of  the  "  beauties "  of  Polygamy,  and  perhaps  the 
reader  would  like  to  hear  what  she  said. 

I  am  very  miserable,  Sister  Stenhouse,   and  furiously  indig- 

nant.  I  little  thought  when  I  last  wrote  to  you  that  I  should  have  such  news  to 
tell ;  but  I  suppose  you  know  it  all  without  my  saying  a  word.     How  we  all  felt 


when  we  first  learned  that  Polygamy  was  true,  no  words  of  mine  can  describe  ; 
we  hardly  dared  look  one  another  in  the  face.     Let  me  tell  you  how  it  was. 

One  night,  quite  late,  Elder  Shrewsbury  came  round  in  a  hurry,  and  asked  to 
see  me.  I  went  down  into  the  parlour  to  meet  him,  and  Mrs.  Elsworth  came 
down  also,  and  remained  until  he  went  away.  Elder  Shrewsbury  looked  very 
strange  that  night,  just  like  a  man  who  had  been  doing  something  wrong  and 
was  ashamed  of  it — and  well  he  might  feel  so.  He  began  by  talking  to  Mrs. 
Elsworth  about  the  weather,  and  when  they  had  bfeth  said  all  they  could  think  of 
on  that  interesting  and  original  subject,  we  all  three  sat  silent  for  some  time. 
Elder  Shrewsbury  at  last  spoke. 

He  excused  himself  for  coming  so  late,  but  he  said  he  had  only  just  received 
some  important  news,  and  could  not  rest  until  he  had  seen  us.  He  had  been 
round  at  the  Conference-house,  and  had  there  seen  a  good  many  of  the  Elders. 
They  were  all  talking  earnestly  upon  the  same  subject,  for  that  day  they  had 
received  not  only  letters  from  the  Apostle  at  Liverpool,  but  also  copies  of  the 
Millennial  Star,  with  the  Revelation  in  it,  which  I  suppose  you  have  seen.  Of 
course  it  was  impossible  for  them  to  doubt  any  longer,  but  most  of  them  felt  it 
•was  a  cruel  blow.  Elder  Shrewsbury  said  they  looked  at  one  another,  but  did 
not  dare  to  speak.  Nearly  all  of  them  had  been  anxiously  trying  to  get  rid  of 
the  false  scandal,  as  they  supposed  the  accusation  of  Polygamy  to  be  ;  and  in 
public  in  their  sermons,  and  in  private  to  all  the  weak  brethren,  they  had  over 
and  over  again  solemnly  declared  that  Polygamy  was  unheal  d  of  among  the 
Saints,  that  it  was  a  Gentile  lie  ;  and  they  had  proved  from  the  Bible,  and  from 
the  Book  of  Mormon,  that  a  doctrine  so  sinful  could  never  be  believed  or  prac- 
ticed by  God's  people. 

Now,  all  this  would  be  thrown  in  their  teeth.  Those  who  hated  IMormonism 
would  revile  them  for  it,  and,  worse  still,  the  Saints  themselves  would  despise 
and  doubt  them  for  the  lies  which  many  of  them  had  innocently  told.  Who 
could  tell  where  all  this  would  end  ?  When  they  were  found  to  have  been 
deceived  in  a  matter  like  Polygamy,  about  which  it  was  so  easy  to  arrive  at  facts 
and  certainty,  who  would  trust  them  concerning  other  doctrines  which  depended 
upon  their  veracity  and  testimony  alone  .■' 

Then,  too,  there  was  worse  to  be  said  about  the  American  Elders  and  Apos- 
tles. Who  could  believe  that  Orson  Pratt  or  Lorenzo  Snow  knew  nothing  of 
Polygamy  ?  And  yet  they  denied  it  in  the  most  solemn  way.  And,  oh.  Sister 
Stenhouse,  think  of  the  Apostle  Taylor  calling  God  to  witness  his  truth  when 
he  proved  from  the  Book  of  Covenants  that  there  was  no  such  thing  as  Poly- 
gamy :  and  all  the  while  he  had  himself  five  wives  in  Salt  Lake  City  !  Oh,  ihy  ! 
This  is  dreadful.  W^hether  the  doctrine  is  true  or  not,  I  can  never  believe  that 
God  would  forgive  all  that  abominable  lying  about  it. 
But  I  was  telling  you  of  that  evening. 

Elder  Shrewsbury  told  us  all  this,  but  he  spoke  slowly  and  disjointedly,  like  a 
man  whose  mind  is  troubled.  He  said  he  hardly  knew  what  he  was  doing. 
Then  he  gave  Mrs.  Elsworth  a  copy  of  the  Star,  and  he  asked  me,  too,  to  read 
the  Revelation  carefully  before  I  condemned  it. 

"  If  the  Revelation,  as  you  call  it,  allows  Polygamy,"  I  exclaimed,  "it  is  a  lie, 
and  I  hate  and  despise  it,  and  you,  and  Mormonism,  and  all !"  I  was  quite  in  a 
fury,  and  I  did  feel  as  if  I  hated  him  then. 

"NICE    FOOD    FOR    BABES  !"  I5I 

He  did  not  answer  me  ;  he  seemed  too  cut  up  to  utter  a  word,  but  I  did  not 
pity  him.  I  felt  that  men  who  would  write  such  a  revelation  as  that  for  their 
own  wicked  purposes  deserved  all  the  hatred  which  the  cruellest  heart  could 
muster  up — they  were  loathesome  to  any  pure-minded  woman.  Then  we  went 
down  stairs,  for  I  generally  go  to  see  him  out.  He  took  my  hand  in  his  to  shake 
it,  and  he  held  it  there,  although  I  tried  to  take  it  away,  and  he  said  mourn- 
fully, "  Sister  Mary,  I  know  you  have  good  cause  for  anger  ;  but  be  just.  I 
have  been  just  as  much  deceived  as  ever  you  have  been.  It  has  unsettled  all 
my  faith  ;  even  our  best  and  most  tried  Missionaries  are  shrinking  from  it.  Do 
not  blame  me  for  what  I  have  not  done.     I  never  deceived  you  about  it." 

"  How  can  I  t*ll  that  ?"  I  said.  "  If  the  Apostles  thought  nothing  of  deceiv- 
ing us  and  perjuring  themselves,  how  can  I'trust  any  one  ?  If  they  had  only 
held  their  tongues,  I  should  have  thought  it  wrong  for  them  to  passively  let  us 
be  deceived  ;  but  you  yourself  know  how  solemnly  they  affirmed  that  it  was  all 
false.     I  tell  you  fairly,  I  hate  them." 

The  Apostles,  he  said,  had  told  some  who  were  strong  enough  in  the  faith  to 
bear  it,  all  the  truth,  but  they  gave  us  milk,  as  the  Bible  says,  because  we  were 
babes  and  our  faith  was  weak. 

"  Nonsense  !"  I  said,  "  to  tell  me  such  stuff  as  that  !  As  if  the  Bible  called 
lies  and  perjury  'milk!'  Nice  food  for  babes,  indeed  !  Why,  it's  blasphemy 
even  to  talk  so !" 

"  I  cannot  help  it.  Sister  Mary,"  he  said  : — "  I  am  more  sorry  than  I  can  tell 
you — but  what  can  I  do  ?" 

I  did  not  answer  him,  and  after  a  few  moments,  during  which  he  still  held  my 
hand  in  his,  he  said  : — "  Mary,  I  want  to  speak  to  you  alo7ie  about  these  things ; 
I  have  much  that  I  want  to  say,  and  I  don't  want  Mrs.-  Elsworth  to  be  with  us. 
Can  I  see  you,  to-morrow  evening,  if  I  call .''  Can  I  speak  with  you  for  half  an 
hour  by  ourselves  .'" 

"  I  wish  you  would  not  call  me  '  Mary,'  any  more,  Elder  Shrewsbury,"  I  said  ; 
"  it  is  too  familiar  ncnv.  We  have  been  far  too  friendly,  but,  thank  God,  I  have 
found  out  in  time,  and  know  how  to  act.  I  hardly  think  I  ought  to  let  you  call 
me  Sister  Mary  even ; — there  can  be  no  brotherhood  or  sisterhood  with  Poly- 
gamy ;  but  I  don't  want  to  be  unkind  to  you."  Then  I  told  him  that  he  might 
come  as  he  said,  and  that  I  would  ask  Mrs.  Elsworth  to  let  me  see  him. 

He  went  away  looking  most  miserable,  and  Mrs.  Elsworth  scolded  me  for 
being  so  long  at  the  door.  I  suppose  she  thought  we  were  love-making,  but 
she  was  greatly  mistaken.  She  did  not  seem  much  pleased  or  vexed  about  the 
Revelation,  and  she  told  me  that  she  knew  quite  well  before  that  it  would  come 
some  day ;  and  as  she  said  that  there  was  a  peculiar  look  of  determination  about 
her  mouth  that  I  had  never  noticed  before.  I  felt  sure  at  once  that  she  had 
formed  a  plan  of  some  kind,  that  she  would  carry  it  out  if  it  cost  her  her  life. 

Then  I  went  to  my  own  room,  and  tried  to  think  the  matter  out.  If  I  were 
married,  as  you  are.  Sister  Stenhouse,  and  if  my  husband  believed  in  the  Revela- 
tion, I  think  I  should  go  crazy.  As  it  was,  I  felt  it  terribly.  You  know,  dear,  I 
told  you  that  I  liked  Elder  Shrewsbury  very  well,  but  nothing  more.  Well,  that 
was  very  true  then,  but  now  I  know  that  it  was  not  all  the  truth.  I  take  care 
that  he  shall  never  know  what  I  think  of  him,  but,  entre  nous,  I  know  that  he  is 
not  the  same  to  me  as  other  people.  I  do  not  think  I  love  him  ;  no,  I'm  sure  I 


don't  now  ;  but  I  do  feel  a  great  deal  of  interest  in  him.  That  night,  however, 
I  felt  very  bad  at  him.  That  he  had  been  deceived,  I  knew,  and  also  that  he 
must  have  felt  sorry  for  having  deceived  me  ;  and,  if  he  cares  for  me,  he  must 
have  felt  uneasy  for  what  I  might  say  or  do,  now  the  doctrine  was  proclaimed. 
But  I  thought  that  as  a  man  he  ought  to  have  shown  more  courage,  and  not  to 
have  appeared  so  thoroughly  frightened  before  a  girl  like  me. 

Well,  the  more  I  thought  of  it,  the  more  angry  I  became,  and  I  couldn't  sleep 
all  night.  The  next  morning  I  wrote  a  little  note  to  Elder  Shrewsbury,  saying 
that  after  all  that  had  happened,  I  had  fully  resolved  not  to  see  him  again. 
Many' of  my  friends,  I  said,  were  married  and  could  not  help  themselves,  but  I 
both  could  and  would.  The  Mormon  sisters  I  should  ever  pity  «nd  love ;  but  as 
for  the  Mormon  men,  I  would  never  have  anything  to  do  with  one  of  them  as 
long  as  I  lived.  I  did  not  want  to  be  unkind  to  him  personally,  but  I  really 
could  not  trust  any  one  now. 

Then  I  showed  this  note  to  Mrs.  Elsworth,  and  asked  her  to  give  it  to  Elder 
Shrewsbury  that  night  when  he  came. 

He  came,  of  course,  and  he  came  again  and  again  ;  but  I  would  not  see  him  ; 
and  I  did  not  even  go  to  the  meetings  for  fear  of  coming  across  him  there.  He 
had  long  talks  with  Mrs.  Elsworth,  and  tried  to  get  her  to  interfere,  and  at  last 
he  sent  me  a  long  letter,  entreating  me  not  to  refuse  him.  I  was  cooler  now, 
and  when  Mrs.  Elsworth  said  I  ought  at  least  to  see  him,  even  if  I  dismissed 
him  then,  I  agreed  to  do  so,  and  the  next  night  he  came. 

He  was  very  humble  that  night.  You  know  what  torrents  of  eloquence  he 
pours  forth  about  anything  that  interests  him,  and  how  earnest  he  is.  But  then 
all  his  eloquence  had  fled.  He  hesitated  and  blundered  until  I  really  quite 
pitied  him.  He  came  and  sat  by  me,  and  would  have  taken  my  hand,  but  I 
would  not  let  him.  He  did  not  tell  me  that  he  loved  me,  but  he  spoke  as  if  I 
were  conscious  of  the  fact,  and  you  know,  of  course,  I  couldn't  help  feeling  that 
he  cared  for  me,  whether  he  spoke  about  it  or  not.  He  assured  me  over  and 
over  again  that  though  he  had  often  heard  the  scandal — as  I  had  done — he  did 
not  for  a  moment  believe'  it ;  he  said  that  he  should  never  himself  act  up  to  the 
Revelation  ;  that  if  he  loved  it  should  be  an  undivided  and  all-absorbing  love  ; 
that  he  would  rather  have  less  glory  in  eternity,  with  one  whom  he  could  idolize, 
than  obey  the  Revelation  on  Polygamy,  and  obtain  a  higher  position. 

All  this  time  he  hardly  once  looked  at  me,  but  when  I  did  see  his  eyes  they 
seemed  very  sorrowful  and  very  earnest.  I  confess  to  you  that  what  he  said 
made  me  feel  very  differently  for  him.  For  a  man  of  his  ability  and  talents,  who 
has  such  an  influence,  and  wins  so  much  respect  from  every  one  he  meets,  to  be 
sitting  there  all  bashful,  like  a  naughty  child,  before  a  young  girl  like  me,  and 
all  because  he  loved  me,  made  me  feel  for  him  a  pity  which  was  very  near  to 

But  it  was  not  love  quite  ;  and  I  did  not  let  him  read  my  thoughts.  I  asked 
him  to  tell  me  all  he  knew,  and  to  explain  to  me  the  meaning  of  different  parts 
of  the  Revelation  which  were  rather  obscure  to  me  ;  and  he  did  so.  Then  he 
tried  to  shake  my  resolution,  and  so  anxious  and  troubled  did  he  seem,  that  I 
really  dp  think  that  if  I  had  asked  him  to  give  up  Mormonism  altogether,  he 
would  have  done  so  for  my  sake.  I  told  him  that  I  had  quite  resolved,  now  that 
Polygamy  was  acknowledged,  never  to  see  him  again,  except  as  I  might  see  the 


Other  Elders  at  meeting.  I  said  I  believed  I  was  still  a  good  Mormon,  as  Mor- 
mons used  to  be,  but  I  would  never  receive  Polygamy,  or  be  more  than  an  ordi- 
nary friend  to  any  one  who  did  believe  it.  We  talked  together  a  good  deal, 
and  we  sat  silently  together  a  long  while  ;  and  at  last  he  rose  to  go.  He  kissed 
my  hand  sorrowfully — and  I  didn't  like  to  be  vexed  with  him  for  doing  so,  he 
looked  so  doleful — and  he  said  he'd  wait  and  wait,  ever  so  long,  if  I  wanted  him 
to  do  so  ;  but  that  he  would  hope  on,  trusting  that  some  day  I  might  change.  I 
told  him  I  thought — I  kneiv  I  should  never  change. 

After  that  I  only  saw  him  at  meeting.  And,  oh  dear  !  you  should  see  what 
meetings  we  have  now  1  Half  the  people  don't  attend,  and  everything  is  so 
cold  and  lifeless.  Some  of  our  most  earnest  Elders  never  come  ;  and  it  is  said 
among  the  brethren,  that  Polygamy  will  produce  the  greatest  apostasy  which  the 
Church  has  ever  seen.     Every  one  seems  ashamed  of  it. 

And  now,  dear,  I  have  written  you  a  terrible  long  letter,  but  you  must  please 
forgive  me,  for  I  have  no  one  to  whom  I  can  open  my  heart  except  to  you.  I 
wish  I  had  some  keepsake  to  remember  you  by.  Well,  I  don't  mean  that,  but  I 
should  so  like  to  have  your  portrait.  Did  you  not  once  tell  me  that  Elder  Sten- 
house  talked  of  learning  photography }  Does  he  ever  practice  it  now  ?  And  if 
so,  couldn't  you  get  him  to  take  a  shadow  of  yourself  ?  I  should  so  like  to  have 
one.  Mine  I  will  send  you  as  soon  as  it  is  taken.  I  mean  to  write  again  to  you 
in  the  course  of  a  day  or  two,  and  then  I'll  tell  you  what  Elder  Shrewsbury  said 
about  the  Revelation  itself.  Meanwhile,  dear,  kiss  both  the  babies,  please,  for 
me  ;  and  write  soon  to  your  most  affectionately  loving, 

Mary  Burton." 

Poor  girl !  I  said,  as  I  folded  up  her  letter  ;  but  it  is  better 
for  her  to  suffer  a  little  now  than  for  her  to  have  been  married 
first,  as  I  was,  and  then,  when  too  late  to  go  back,  to  have 
Polygamy  announced  as  an  article  of  faith. 



A  Blissful  State  of  Ignorance — The  Opinions  of  Monsieur  Petitpierre — Strong 
Arguments — How  He  Became  an  Apostate — "He  Shall  Rule  over  Her" — The 
Nobler  Sex — How  Women  were  Sufficiently  Honored — Looking  Anxiously 
for  a  Chango — Establishing  a  Mormon  Paper — Denouncing  the  Gentiles — 
Terrible  Expectations — Hastening  to  Zion — A  Journey  of  Many  Days — The 
Swiss  Pilgrims— Death  by  the  Way— Disobeying  Counsel— The  "Judg- 
ments" of  the  Lord — The  Love  6i  Many  Waxes  Cold — The  President  of  the 
London  Conference — Distinguished  Apostates — Strange  Ncavs  from  Zion — 
An  "Object  of  Interest" — Great  Success  of  Mormonism  in  Britain — How 
Saints  were  Re-baptized — Poor  Elder  Marsden  ! — The  Emigration  Season — 
My  Little  Daughter  Minnie — Saintly  Treatment— A  Visit  from  Mary  Burton 
—How  Love  Affairs  Progressed— Pacifying  a  Lover — The  Meaning  of  the 
Word  "  Patience." 

IT  was  fortunate  for  the  Swiss  Mission  that  the  new  con- 
verts in  general  could  not  read  any  language  but  their 
own,  and  thus  were  ignorant  of  the  deceptions  which  the 
American  Elders  had  practiced  upon  the  people. 

Monsieur  Petitpierre,  the  Protestant  minister,  who  thought 
that  the  Revelation  ought  to  be  "  prayerfully  considered,"  was 
the  only  one  who  understood  English,  and  his  knowledge  was 
very  limited.  His  wife  did  not  at  all  coincide  with  him  about 
the  prayerful  consideration  of  Polygamy  ;  she  disposed  of  the 
subject  without  any  prayer  at  all,  and  it  is  to  be  regretted  that 
in  this  respect  the  whole  body  of  the  Mormon  women  did  not 
follow  her  example. 

What  arguments  she  used  I  do  not  know ;  but  that  they 
were  very  much  to  the  point  no  one  can  doubt,  for  they  ban- 
ished for  ever  all  thoughts  of  Polygamy  from  her  husband's 

A    LITTLE    ISHMAEL,  1 55 

mind.  It  was  said  among  the  Saints  that  she  was  very  ener- 
getic in  her  private  discussions  with  her  husband.  But  how- 
ever this  might  be,  it  is  certain  that  Monsieur  Petitpierre 
resisted  as  long  as  he  could,  for  the  revelation  quite  fascinated 
the  childless  old  man,  and  it  is  possible  that  he  might  have 
held  fast  to  the  faith  ;  but,  unfortunately,  just  then  certain 
documents  and  publications  of  the  Apostles,  and  a  very  large 
amount  of  evidence  respecting  them  and  their  doings, 
attracted  his  attention.  He  was  in  the  main  a  good  and 
truthful  man,  although  of  small  mental  calibre,  and  the 
deceptions  and  contradictions  which  he  discovered  quite  dis- 
gusted him.  His  wife's  strong  personal  arguments  gave  the 
finishing  blow  to  his  faith,  and  the  spell  was  broken.  The 
vision  of  a  modern  Hagar  and  a  little  Ishmael  vanished  from 
his  mind ;  he  apostatised — and  Mr.  Stenhouse  lost  the  services 
of  a  very  useful  translator. 

When  I  heard  that  he  had  left  the  Church,  how  I  wished 
that  I  could  have  followed  in  his  footsteps.  But  apostasy 
from  Mormonism  is  only  possible  to  two  classes — the  young 
disciple,  who  has  embraced  the  faith  more  from  enthusiasm 
than  from  conviction,  whose  experience  is  limited,  and  the 
old  disciple  who  has  entirely  outgrown  it,  and  has  become  dis- 
gusted with  it  all. 

I  was  neither  of  these.  My  faith  was  too  firmly  grounded 
to  admit  of  my  giving  it  up.  Though  I  hated  Polygamy,  I. 
did  not  dare  to  question  the  divinity  of  its  origin.  I  only 
pitied  myself  and  my  sex  for  the  burden  which  God  had  seen 
fit  to  place  upon  us.  I  never  for  a  moment  supposed  that 
any  man  would  have  been  so  wicked  as  to  fabricate  a  "  Reve- 
lation," or  so  blasphemous  as  to  palm  it  off  in  the  name  of 
the  Lord. 

Oh  yes,  I  hated  Polygamy  in  my  heart.  And  my  efforts  in 
teaching  it  only  increased  my  hatred ;  for  when  I  was  gravely 
told  by  the  Elders  that  woman  had  been  cursed  in  the  Gar- 
den of  Eden,  and  that  Polygamy  was  one  of  the  results  of 
that  curse — "  her  desire  shall  be  unto  her  husband,  and  he 
shall  rule  over  JierV — I  must  confess  that  my  heart  within  me_ 

156  MY    HUSBANDS    WORK, AND    MINE. 

was  rebellious.  From  my  earliest  childhood  I  had  thought  of 
God  as  a  father  and  a  friend,  to  whom  I  might  go  and  tell  all 
my  griefs  and  cares  ;  but  now  He  was  presented  to  me  as  a 
hard  taskmaster,  not  as  a  father  or  a  friend. 

I  met  with  much  kindness,  but  I  did  not  meet  with  much 
sympathy  from  the  brethren.  They,  could  not  understand 
that  opposition  to  Polygamy  was  anything  else  than  selfish- 
ness on  the  part  of  the  sisters  ;  they  did  not  comprehend  the 
feelings  of  a  woman's  heart — its  craving  for  some  object 
upon  which  to  devote  its  whole  wealth  of  love.  They  were 
taught  that  theirs  was  a  nobler  position  than  that  of  the 
sisters,  and  that  women  might  consider  themselves  sufficiently 
honored  in  being  allowed  to  become  the  mothers  of  their  chil- 
dren and  to  help  in  building  up  tJicir  "  kingdom." 
,  Of  my  Missionary  work  in  Switzerland  subsequent  to  the 
introduction  of  Polygamy  I  will  say  but  little,  except  that  it 
was  too  successful.  The  same  sorrow  and  indignation  which 
Madame  Baliff  had  so  forcibly  expressed,  were  shown  by 
almost  every  new  convert,  and  I  had  to  bear  the  blame  of 
teaching  such  a  doctrine.  The  sisters  became  unhappy,  and 
wished  that  they  had  died  in  ignorance  of  Mormonism ;  and  I 
felt  humbled  to  the  dust  to  think  that  I  should  be  the  inno- 
cent cause  of  so  much  misery  to  others.  I  looked  anxiously 
for  a  change,  but  the  only  change  which  seemed  probable  was 
that  we  might  be  permitted  to  emigrate  to  Utah,  and  there 
was  no  comfort  for  me  in  that  prospect. 

We  remained  in  Switzerland  until  the  close  of  the  year 
1854,  and  through  the  unremitting  efforts  of  my  husband, 
Mormonism  was  introduced  into  six  cantons  of  the  Confed- 
eration. Monsieur  Baliff  became  an  indefatigable  Missionary, 
as  was  also  Governor  Stoudeman ;  and  to  their  liberality  and 
zeal  Mr.  Stenhouse  was  greatly  indebted.  With  the  aid  of 
Monsieur  Baliff,  he  established  in  Geneva  a  monthly  periodi- 
cal in  the  French  language,  for  the  edification  of  the  Saints, 
beside  a  volume  in  reply  to  the  attacks  of  the  clergy,  and 
many  minor  effusions. 

At  that  time  there  was  great  excitement  among  the  Saints 


in  Utah.  Brigham  Young  and  his  Apostles  were  denouncing 
the  Gentiles  in  the  most  unmeasured  language.  As  I  write 
a  volume  of  sermons  delivered  at  that  time  is  before  me,  and 
I  really  can  hardly  credit  that  so  much  ridiculous  nonsense, 
bad  grammar,  and  blasphemy,  could  ever  have  been  uttered 
in  a  public  place  of  worship  ; — yet  it  was  so.  The  Saints 
were  told  that  in  these  last  times  all  the  Vials  of  the  Wrath  of 
God  were  about  to  be  poured  upon  the  earth ;  wars  and  deso- 
lations, anarchy  and  persecution,  fire,  pestilence,  and  unheard 
of  horrors,  were  to  desolate  all  the  world,  until  men  should 
call  upon  the  rocks  to  hide  them,  and  in  the  bitterness  of 
their  souls  curse  the  day  in  which  they  were  born ;  death  was 
to  be  sought  for,  but  not  found.  Believing,  as  they  did,  that 
all  this  was  true,  it  is  no  wonder  that  the  Saints  in  Europe 
were  alarmed,  and  became  anxious  to  emigrate  to  Utah,  where 
they  were  told  they  would  be  safe.  A  seven  years'  famine 
was  said  to  be  at  the  door,  when  a  sack  of  wheat  should  be 
sold  for  a  sack  of  gold,  and  Gentile  Kings  and  Princes  were 
to  come  and  crouch  to  the  Saints  for  a  morsel  of  bread.  The 
very  women  in  Zion  were  counselled  to  sell  the  ribbons  from 
their  bonnets,  to  buy  flour  with  the  proceeds,  and  to  hide  it 
away  against  the  day  of  wrath. 

The  brethren  and  sisters  in  Switzerland  who  could  dispose 
of  their  property  hastened  to  "  flee  to  Zion."  Some  did  so  at 
a  ruinous  sacrifice.  One  gentleman — a  Monsieur  Robella — I 
knew,  who  was  part  proprietor  of  a  newspaper  and  printing 
establishment.  In  a  very  short  time  it  would  have  been 
entirely  in  his  own  hands  ;  but  he  sold  out  at  a  great  loss, 
dreading  that  the  storm  might  overtake  him  before  he  reached 
the  "Chambers  of  the  Lord  in  the  Mountains,"  as  the  Elders 
called  Salt  Lake  City. 

The  journey  from  Europe  to  Utah  at  that  time  occupied 
six  or  eight  months  ;  it  was  a  very  tedious  pilgrimage.  My 
Swiss  friends  had  first  to  travel  to  Liverpool ;  thence  by  sail- 
ing vessel  to  New  Orleans  ;  by  steamer  up  the  Mississippi  as 
far  as  St.  Louis  ;  up  the  Missouri  to  the  frontiers  ;  and  then 
across  the  Plains  by  ox-teams.     Much  of  this  distance  had  to 


be  travelled  during  the  worst  part  of  the  year.  They  left 
their  homes  while  the  Jura  Mountains  were  still  draped  in 
snow,  and  those  who  escaped  the  ravages  of  cholera  and  the 
perils  of  the  way,  reached  their  destination  just  as  the  frosts 
of  winter  were  beginning  to  whiten  the  hoary  heads  of  the 
hills  which  stand  about  Zion. 

All  the  Swiss  pilgrims  travelled  together  until  they  arrived 
at  St.  Louis  ;  there  they  separated,  one  party  going  up  the 
river,  and  the  other  making  the  journey  overland.  The 
cholera  attacked  the  latter  party  and  cut  off  the  greater  num- 
ber of  them,  and  their  bones  now  whiten  the  prairie. 

The  news  of  their  death  soon  arrived  in  Switzerland,  and 
the  people  at  Lausanne  were  exasperated  against  the  Mormon 
Missionaries,  and  when  my  husband  visited  that  place  he 
found  it  prudent  not  to  remain  long.  At  the  same  time  those 
of  the  Saints  whose  relations  had  perished  in  the  emigration 
were  pained  to  hear  that  it  was  because  they  "had  not  obeyed 
counsel,"  and  gone  up  the  river  with  the  other  party,  that  they 
fell  by  the  way.  And,  as  if  in  mockery  of  this  statement,  the 
next  news  that  we  received  was  that  a  Missouri  steamer,  on 
board  of  which  were  many  Mormon  Missionaries — all  most 
obedient  to  counsel — had  been  blown  to  atoms.  Many  of  the 
Saints  began  to  consider  these  things,  and  their  love  waxed 

Through  all  this  our  position  was  anything  but  pleasant, 
and  my  husband  applied  for  permission  to  be  released  from 
the  Presidency  of  the  Swiss  and  Italian  Missions,  in  order 
that  he  might  "  gather  to  Zion."  His  request  was  granted ; 
and  in  the  autumn  of  1854,  we  bade  a  final  adieu  to  Switzer- 

We  might  now  be  said  to  have  begjin  our  journey  to  Zion, 
although  we  tarried  long  by  the  way,  and  several  years 
elapsed  before  we  reached  otir  destination. 

When  we  arrived  in  London  we  obtained  apartments  in  the 
house  of  the  President  of  the  London  Conference,  and  there 
I  had  opportunities  of  observing  the  effects  of  the  system 
upon  the  English  Saints.     Elder  Marsden,  the  President,  was 


a  thorough  Mormon,  and  a  man  who  was  very  highly  thought 
of.  He  had  been  acquainted  with  all  the  Apostles  and  High- 
priests  who  had  resided  in  Liverpool — the  great  rendezvous  of 
the  Saints  in  England  ;  had  been  President  of  the  Confer- 
ence there,  and  now  occupied  the  highest  position  of  the 
European  mission.  He  was  a  pleasant,  intelligent  man,  who 
in  his  day  had  done  much  to  build  up  the  Church  ;  but  like 
his  two  predecessors,  John  Banks  and  Thomas  Margetts,  he 
also  apostatised  from  the  Mormonism  of  later  years.  At  the 
time,  however,  of  which  I  speak,  he  was  considered  to  be  of 
good  standing  among  the  Saints. 

Up  to  this  time  I  had  never  seriously  doubted  my  religion, 
and  I  probably  never  should  have  done  so  had  it  not  been  for 
the  introduction  of  Polygamy.  But  what  I  saw  in  London  at 
that  time  sadly  shook  my  faith,  and  the  stories  which  I  heard 
from  Utah  quite  frightened  me.  Nothing,  of  course,  was 
openly  said,  and  at  first  I  disbelieved  every  evil  report,  until 
at  last  it  was  impossible  for  me  altogether  to  reject  what  was 
told  me.  The  testimony  of  an  Apostate  or  of  a  Gentile  would 
have  been  dismissed  with  contempt ;  but  when  we  saw  letters 
from  mothers  to  their  children,  and  husbands  to  their  wives — 
all  people  of  unquestioned  faith,  setting  forth  the  troubled 
state  of  men's  minds  in  Utah,  expressing  fears  for  their  own 
safety,  and  hinting  at  "cutting  off"  the  transgressor,  and  the 
doings  of  "  Avenging  Angels,"  we  could  not  cast  them  aside 
with  contempt.  My  views  of  the  glories  of  Zion  were  chang- 
ing;— henceforth  I  was  never  firm  in  the  faith — I  felt  that 
there  was  sovicthing  wrong. 

Perhaps  the  reader  may  think  that  now  I  might  have  left 
the  Church,  and  thus  have  avoided  all  those  troubles  which 
awaited  me  in  Utah.  But  let  him  remember  that,  although 
my  faith  was  shaken,  it  was  not  wholly  destroyed.  All  that  I 
clung  to  on  earth — my  husband,  whom  I  truly  loved,  and  my 
darling  children — were  part  and  parcel  of  Mormonism.  I 
could  not  tear  myself  from  them,  and  isolate  my  soul  from  all 
that  made  life  worth  having. 

My  unsettled  .state  of  mind,  however,  did  not  long  remain 


a  secret.  It  was  spoken  of  among  the  Saints,  and  I  became 
an  object  of  interest.  The  Pastor  over  the  London  and 
adjoining  Conferences  was  the  son  of  one  of  the  chief  Apos- 
tles in  Utah — a  young  man,  whose  good  nature  was  far  better 
than  his  rehgion.  He  visited  us  very  frequently,  and  used  to 
bring  with  him  the  distinguished  American  Elders  who  might 
be  visiting  the  metropolis.  I  have  no  doubt  that  they  were 
sincere  in  their  desire  to  do  me  good,  but  it  was  not  kind 
attentions  that  I  then  needed,  it  was  the  removal  of  the  cause 
of  my  sorrows. 

They  tried  to  persuade  me  that  it  was  all  "  the  work  of  the 
Lord  ;"  but  I  could  not  see  it  in  that  light,  and  very  often  in 
reply  to  their  consolations  I  said  very  hard  things  of  Poly- 
gamy and  the  leaders  of  the  Church,  whose  conduct  I  consid- 
ered sinful.  And  in  this  I  did  not  stand  alone,  for  I  soon 
found  that  the  President  of  the  Conference — Elder  Marsden 
— had  been  in  the  same  position  for  years,  and  his  wife  was 
"quite  through"  with  Mormonism.  In  fact,  so  great  had  been 
the  distrust  occasioned  by  Polygamy,  that  in  the  report  end- 
ing June  30th,  1853,  it  was  stated  that  from  the  whole  British 
Church — which  then  numbered  very  nearly  thirty-one  thous- 
and souls — seventeen  hundred  and  seventy-six  had  been  ex- 
communicated for  apostasy ! 

Of  those  who  remained  faithful  I  cannot  give  a  much  more 
cheering  account.  The  Elders  who  visited  President  Mars- 
den made  as  damaging  reports  of  the  condition  of  the  Saints 
as  their  worst  enemies  could  desire.  All  that  my  young 
friend,  Mary  Burton,  had  told  me  did  not  equal  the  truth  of 
what  I  saw  for  myself.  No  one  had  any  confidence  now  in 
what  the  Elders  said  ; — how  could  they  be  trusted  after  so 
many  years  of  deception  } 

The  Elders  who  visited  me  and  reasoned  with  me  abou«t  my 
want  of  faith,  tried  to  persuade  me  to  be  baptized  again. 
Among  the  Mormons  it  is  the  privilege  of  the  faithful  to  be 
baptized  over  and  over  again,  as  often  as  may  be  needed,  for 
the  remission  of  their  sins,  which  are  thus  washed  away,  and 
the  penitent  is  enabled  to  start  afresh.     At  that  time  of  fear- 

I    AM    BAPTIZED    AGAIN.  l6l 

ful  excitement  in  Utah,  called  by  the  Mormons  "  The  Refor- 
mation," when  people  were  being  exhorted  under  terrible  pen- 
alties to  confess  their  sins,  many  were  so  frightened  that  they 
acknowledged  themselves  guilty  of  crimes  of  which  they  had 
never  dreamed,  while  at  the  same  time  many  horrible  and 
detestable  sins  were  brought  to  light.  Brigham  and  the  lead- 
ers found  that  they  were  confessing  too  much — the  sinners 
were  far  more  numerous  than  the  godly.  Brigham,  with  his 
usual  craft,  soon  found  a  way  of  escape  ;  the  people  were  told 
to  be  baptized  again,  as  then,  their  sins  being  washed  away, 
they  could  truly  say  they  were  not  guilty  of  such  crimes  of 
which  they  might  be  accused. 

I  was  not  convinced,  and  did  not  see  that  I  had  anything 
to  repent  of,  but  I  was  quite  willing  to  be  re-baptized  if  it  was 
thought  proper.  At  the  same  time  I  stipulated  that  the  Pres- 
ident of  the  Conference — Elder  Marsden — should  be  baptized 
with  me.  I  felt  that  if  I  required  re-baptizing,  how  much 
more  necessary  was  it  for  Elder  Marsden  to  have  his  sins 
washed  away  also.  I  j^artly  believed  in  the  fearful  stories 
that  I  had  heard  from  Zion,  but  it  was  he  who  had  shown 
them  to  me.  The  Pastor  of  the  Conference  gave  no  sign  that 
he  suspected  my  meaning  in  wishing  Elder  Marsden  to  be 
baptized  at  the  same  time  as  I  was,  though  I  believe  he  must 
have  formed  a  pretty  shrewd  guess.  And  so  we  two  went 
down  into  the  water,  but  I  am  afraid  that  little  of  our  sins 
was  washed  away.  Not  long  after,  President  Marsden  apos- 
tatised, and  my  heart  remained  as  hard  as  ever.  At  least  I 
was  frequently  told  so. 

Poor  Elder  Marsden!  He  was  branded  \\'\\\\  the  most 
opprobrious  titles  which  Mormon  ingenuity  or  malice  could 
fling  against  him  : — and  yet  I  know  of  many  men — not  one 
nor  two — associated  most  intimately  with  Brigham  Young, 
to-day,  whose  faith  is  not  a  whit  stronger  than  that  apostate's, 
who  serve  the  Prophet  because  it  is  their  interest  to  do  so, 
but  who  in  their  hearts  no  more  believe  in  his  high  preten- 
sions than  did  James  Marsden,  the  President  of  the  London 

l62  "OUR    LITTLE    MINNIE." 

Meanwhile,  the  season  for  emigration  had  again  arrived, 
and  we  were  directed  to  hold  ourselves  in  readiness  to  start. 
Although  by  no  means  unexpected,  this  "  counsel "  to  emi- 
grate came  very  painfully  to  me,  for  every  step  we  took 
toward  Utah  seemed  to  bring  me  nearer  to  the  realisation  of 
my  worst  apprehensions.  I  had  lost  my  affection  for  Mor- 
monism,  and  my  enthusiasm  had  now  quite  melted  away. 
But  to  refuse  to  go  was  altogether  out  of  the  question. 

Two  little  ones  had  been  added  to  our  family  in  Geneva, 
and  a  fourth  was  born  in  London,  the  Christmas  day  after  our 
return  from  the  Continent.  The  foggy  atmosphere  of  the 
metropolis  did  not  agree  with  them  at  all — accustomed,  as 
they  had  been,  to  the  pure  and  bracing  air  of  Switzerland — 
and  I  soon  had  serious  illness  in  my  family.  My  second 
little  girl,  Minnie,  was  so  sick  that  we  almost  despaired  of  her 
life,  and  the  others  required  constant  attention,  while  the 
little  baby  boy  only  a  few  weeks  old,  was  seldom  out  of  my 
arms.  Just  then  it  was,  when  so  very  awkwardly  situated, 
that  the  notification  came  for  us  to  set  our  faces  Zionward. 

They  chided  us  for  our  want  of  faith,  because  we  did  not 
take  our  poor  little  sick  child  from  her  bed  at  the  risk  of  life ; 
but  I  thank  God  now  that  nature  was  stronger  than  our  fanat- 
icism, and  that  our  little  girl  was  spared  to  grow  up  a  blessing 
of  which  we  shall  ever  be  proud. 

One  day,  President  Marsden  came  to  me  confidentially  and 
told  me  that  the  brethren  were  determined  that  I  should  leave 
England,  and  had  counted  upon  my  yielding  in  a  moment  of 
despair.  My  husband  was  to  be  counselled  to  go  without  me 
to  Utah,  if  I  persisted  in  my  refusal.  After  he  had  left 
London,  Elder  Marsden  was  to  give  me  notice  to  leave  his 
house ;  and  left  destitute,  and  entirely  among  strangers,  it  was 
thought  that  I  should  be  only  too  glad  to  follow. 

I  cannot  tell  how  indignant  I  was  ;  I  could  not  find  words 
sufficiently  contemptuous  to  express  what  I  felt,  but  I  re- 
proached Elder  Marsden  with  cowardice  for  agreeing  to  such 
an  inhuman  proposition,  and  I  declared  that  I  would  not  risk 
the  life  of  my  child  if  an  eternity  of  suffering  awaited  me. 

NOT    QUITE    A    SLAVE.  I63 

My  husband  was  absent  when  this  took  place ;  but  when 
he  returned  he  approved  of  what  I  had  done,  and  Elder 
Marsden  was  consequently  "counselled"  to  send  us  away. 
The  doctor  warned  us  against  the  danger  of  exposing  my 
little  daughter  to  the  cold  in  removing  her,  but  we  had  no 
choice,  for  we  were  obliged  to  leave.  Those  were  very  pain- 
ful times.  Constant  watching  and  anxiety  had  undermined 
my  own  health,  and  I  fell  ill.  Even  then,  had  v/e  been  left 
alone,  we  might  have  escaped  much  of  our  trouble,  but  the 
incessant  meddling  of  "  counsel "  was  a  perpetual  irritation, 
and  we  were  completely  worn  out  with  annoyance. 

A  pleasant  apartment  at  the  west  end  of  the  town  was 
taken  for  me,  by  the  advice  of  the  medical  man,  and  I  was 
removed  thither  with  my  baby.  I  was  not  equal  even  to  the 
task  of  taking  care  of  that  little  thing,  and  had  to  procure  the 
assistance  of  a  nurse  ;  the  other  children  were  cared  for  by 
friends.  All  that  I  needed  was  rest  and  tranquility  of  mind, 
and  I  soon  began  to  recover  strength,  though  far  from  well. 
But  this  state  of  quietude  was  soon  to  be  disturbed.  Again 
we  were  notified  that  the  last  emigrant  ship  of  the  season 
was  about  to  leave,  and  we  must  sail  in  her,  and  again  we 
were  obliged  to  refuse.  My  husband  telegraphed  to  the 
Apostle  at  Liverpool  that  I  was  not  well  enough  to  travel, 
and  he  was  told  to  "  bring  me  along,  and  I  should  get 
better."  The  Apostle  (!)  cared  nothing  for  individual  suffering, 
providing  the  ambitious  plans  of  the  priesthood  in  Salt  Lake 
City  were  carried  out.  But  my  husband,  anxious  though  he 
was  to  set  out  for  Utah,  and  obedient,  as  he  ever  was  to 
"counsel,"  was  not  such  a  slave  as  they  thought  him,  and  he 
positively  refused  to  go.  For  this  he  was  very  much  blamed, 
and  it  was  said  that  his  own  faith  must  be  wavering. 

Since  my  arrival  in  London  I  had  several  times  seen  my 
young  friend,  Mary  Burton,  but  some  one  was  always  present 
at  the  time.  She  had,  as  she  told  me  in  her  letters,  very 
greatly  changed,  for  she  had  now  become  quite  a  young  lady. 
Still  she  retained  most  of  her  winning  ways,  though  her 
childish  prettiness  had  given  place  to  the  more  mature  beauty 

164  MARY    burton's    LOVER. 

of  womanhood,  and  when  I  saw  her  I  was  not  surprised  that 
she  should  be  an  object  of  attention,  or  that  Elder  Shrews- 
bury should  have  felt  so  deeply  her  rejection  of  him.  She 
was  as  loving  to  me  as  ever,  and  when  she  found  that  we 
could  not  have  one  of  our  old  quiet  chats  together,  on  account 
of  the  people  who  were  present,  she  promised  to  call  on  me 
some  afternoon  when  we  should  be  quite  alone. 

Before  she  came,  however,  I  had  a  visit  from  another  per- 
son, whom  I  little  expected  to  see.  This  was  no  other  than 
Elder  Shrewsbury  himself,  who,  I  had  been  informed,  had  left 
London  some  months  before.  This,  after  the  usual  saluta- 
tions, he  told  me  was  quite  true  ; — he  had  left  London  and 
gone  to  work  as  a  Missionary  hundreds  of  miles  away ;  trying 
to  forget  his  disappointment,  but  to  no  purpose.  His  was 
one  of  those  natures  which,  though  kind  and  considerate  to 
every  one,  are  not  ready  to  form  hasty  attachments,  but 
which,  when  once  they  do  meet  with  an  object  upon  which  to 
lavish  their  affections,  become  devoted  in  friendship  and 
unchanging  in  love.  Their  affections  flow  more  deeply  than 
those  of  most  people. 

Such  was  Elder  Shrewsbury,  and  such  I  thought  he  would 
always  be  ;  but  what  disposition,  however  good,  can  be  relied 
upon  when  influenced  by  religious  fanaticism .''  He  stood 
before  me,  tJieii,  manly  and  upright  in  his  bearing,  truthful  and 
honest,  a  man  who  would  have  scorned  evasion  or  deceit,  and 
his  every  thought  of  Mary  was  replete  with  tenderness  and 
love.  And  yet  I  lived  to  see  that  man  again,  in  Utah — alas, 
how  changed  a  man  ! 

Before  we  first  left  England  I  was  acquainted  with  Elder 
Shrewsbury,  but  not  very  intimately.  We  had  had  one  or 
two  interesting  conversations  together,  but  I  remembered 
him  chiefly  in  connection  with  Mary  Burton.  It  was  about 
her  that  he  now  came  to  see  me ; — he  wanted  me  to  talk  to  her 
and  intercede  with  her  in  his  behalf.  But  I  was  no  match- 
maker, and  all  my  thoughts  respecting  love  and  marriage  had 
recently  been  anything  but  pleasant.  I  told  him  plainly  that 
I  thought  Mary  had  done  quite  right  in  refusing  to  see  him, 

ONE    OF    eve's.  165 

and,  in  fact,  declining  to  receive  the  attentions  of  any  Mor- 
mon man.  I  did  not  doubt  his  love  for  her  at  present,  I  said, 
but  no  one  could  any  longer  rely  upon  a  Mormon  Elder's 
word.  Years  to  come,  when  they  had  a  little  family  growing 
up  around  them,  and  when  it  would  be  too  lat^e  for  Mary  to 
repent  of  trusting  him,  he  might  suddenly  be  convinced  of 
the  necessity  of  obeying  the  Revelation,  and  then,  what  could 
she  do  .''  No !  Even  supposing  that  she  loved  him,  which,  I 
said,  was  very  questionable,  it  was  better  that  she  should  suf- 
fer a  disappointment  now  than  have  her  heart  wrung  with 
cruelty  and  neglect  in  after  years. 

"What!"  he  cried,  his  eyes  flashing  with  indignation  ;  "do 
you  take  me  for  a  dog  that  I  should  treat  Jier  so  T 

"  No,  no,"  I  said,  and  tried  to  pacify  him  ;  "  I  do  not  think 
anything  bad  of  you,  but  I  look  upon  you  as  a  man  who  is  in 
love,  and  therefore  blind.  You  think  of  nothing  now  but 
Mary,  and  are  willing  to  sacrifice  everything,  and  to  promise 
anything,  providing  you  can  win  her.  But  when  she  has 
become  your  wife,  if  she  ever  does,  and  you  have  time  to  cool 
down,  you'll  begin  to  see  things  in  another  light.  You'll  find 
that  she  is  a  real  ordinary  woman,  made  of  flesh  and  blood, 
like  all  the  other  daughters  of  Eve,  and  with,  I  daresay,  quite 
as  many  whims,  and  fancies,  and  perverse  ways  as  any  ot 
them  ;  and  then,  when  she  ceases  to  be  *an  angel'  in  your  eyes, 
and  becomes  merely  a  woman,  you'll  begin  to  assert  your  right 
to  think  and  judge  for  yourself,  and  very  probably  all  your 
former  devotion  to  your  religion  will  return." 

"  Sister  Stenhouse,"  he  replied,  "  you  do  not  seem  to  have 
a  very  high  opinion  of  my  constancy  ;  but  I  can  assure  you 
that  I  have  given  this  matter  my  most  earnest,  prayerful 
thought.  My  love  for  Mary  I  need  not  mention  ;  my  devo- 
tion to  my  religion  you  only  partly  know.  While  we  were 
told  that  Polygamy  was  not  true,  no  one  could  be  more  stead- 
fast in  the  faith  than  I  was ;  and  when  the  Revelation  came,  I 
looked  upon  it  as  a  blight  and  a  curse  to  the  Church  of  God, 
and  how  well-founded  my  fears  were  you  can  see  from  this 
terrible  apostasy  which  has  come  upon  us.     I  almost  myself 

i66  "the  meaning  of  that  word." 

left  the  Church.  Then  I  went  to  the  Apostle,  and  I  told  him 
how  I  was  situated.  I  told  him  all  about  Mary,  and  my  devo- 
tion to  her  ;  that  I  wished  to  win  her  for  my  wife,  but  that  I 
knew  she  would  not  marry  me  if  she  thought  there  was  the 
shadow  of  a  cbance  that  I  should  live  up  to  the  Revelation.  I 
told  him  that  I  myself  should  be  perfectly  wretched  in  Poly- 
gamy, and  that  it  was  impossible  that  I  should  love  more  than 
one.  The  Apostle  said  that  I  was  quite  right  in  all  this.  We 
had  no  proof,  he  said,  in  the  Bible,  that  Isaac  had  more  than 
one  wife,  and  he  was  accepted  by  God.  He  counselled  me 
to  do  all  I  could  to  win  Mary,  and  told  me  that  I  might  truth- 
fully promise  her  that  I  would  never  enter  into  Polygamy. 
But  Mary  would  not  so  much  as  listen  to  me — in  fact,  since 
then  she  never  would  see  me  alone." 

"I  am  not  sure,"  I  answered,  "whether  I  am  doing  right; 
but  I  don't  mind  saying  to  you  that  I  think,  from  what  I  have 
seen  of  Mary,  that  she  does  not  dislike  you ;  but  she  is  a  sen- 
sible girl,  and  does  not  choose  to  risk  the  happiness  of  her 
whole  life." 

He  was  vexed  with  me  for  saying  this.  How  could  I  sup- 
pose that  /le  would  wreck  her  happiness  ?  Was  he  not  will- 
ing to  die  if  it  would  give  her  a  moment's  pleasure  .■'  And 
much  more  lovers'  nonsense  he  talked.  He  had  met  her  at 
the  meetings  sometimes,  but  she  had  very  coldly  said  good- 
morning,  or  evening,  as  the  case  might  be ;  but  whenever  he 
had  ventured  a  word  more  than  that,  she  had  made  some 
excuse  to  leave  him.  What  he  wanted  me  to  do  was  to  invite 
Mary  to  meet  him  with  me,  and  to  use  my  influence  with  her 
in  his  favor.  I  answered  him  very  kindly,  and  did  my  best  to 
reassure  him,  but  I  told  him  that  I  never  would  try  to  influ- 
ence the  conduct  or  affections  of  any  one  in  a  matter  of  the 
heart ;  such  things  should  take  their  own  course  ;  and  if  he 
waited  patiently  no  doubt  all  would  be  well. 

"  Patience !"  he  said  ;  "  Sister  Stenhouse,  do  you  think  a 
man  in  love  knows  the  meaning  of  that  word .-'  Patience, 
indeed !" 



Mary  Burton  Tells  her  Story — A  Persevering  Lover — A  Long  Conversation — 
Some  "Strong  Points"  of  the  Revelation — A  Trifling  Circumstance — Terrible 
Doings  in  Zion — How  Orson  Hyde  became  an  Apostate — He  Bears  Witness 
Against  Joseph  Smith — "Danites"  and  "Avenging  Angels" — Murders  Commit- 
ted by  "  Indians  !" — Emigration  in  the  Old  Times — A  Journey  of  Nine  Months 
— How  the  Mormon  Emigration  was  Managed — A  Favored  Apostle — How 
the  Profits  were  Pocketed — On  Board  Ship — We  Suffer  Loss — How  we  were 
Deceived — An  Untruthful  Apostle — How  Poor  Mr.  Tennant  was  Robbed — 
Brigham  Young  Acts  his  Accustomed  Part — Love  and  Marriage  at  Sea — 
Cooking  Under  Difficulties — "  Harry  and  the  Rats  " — A  Smart  Lad — An  An- 
cient Scotch  Sister — Working  "for  a  Consideration" — Christmas  on  Board 
Ship — Cruel  Treatment  of  Seamen — A  New  Year  in  the  New  World. 

THE  afternoon  following,  Mary  herself  came  to  see  me, 
her  face  all  flushed  with  excitement,  and  eager  to  tell  me 

"  Who  do  you  think  I've  been  talking  to,  Sister  Sten- 
house  .''"  she  exclaimed,  "  You'd  never  guess." 

"  I  don't  think  there's  much  need  for  guessing,"  I  said, 
"Your  face  betrays  the  secret,  Mary." 

"  Well,"  she  said,  "perhaps  it  does,  but  you  wouldn't  wonder 
at  it,  if  you  only  knew  how  very  anxious  I  have  been.  All  this 
time  I  have  kept  my  word,  and  I  did  not  see  him  or  speak  to 
him  once,  except  at  meetings,  and  not  much  then,  and  I  have 
been  very  unhappy.  This  afternoon  I  came  round  about  an 
hour  ago  to  see  you,  and  there  on  the  step  was  Elder  Shrews- 
bury. He  said  he  was  here  yesterday,  and  was  just  going  to 
call  on  you  again,  and  then  he  asked  me  to  go  a  little  way  with 

l68  A  lover's  eloquence. 

him,  as  he  had  something  very  important  to  say  to  me.  At 
first  I  refused  to  go,  but  he  wouldn't  hsten  to  it  for  a  moment. 
So  I  went  with  him,  and  we  have  been  talking  ever  since ;  or 
rather  he  has  been  talking,  and  I  have  been  listening  to  him. 
I  can't  tell  you,  Sister  Stenhouse,  all  he  said — you  can  guess 
better  than  I  can  tell  you.  But  I'm  afraid  I  shall  not  be  able 
to  keep  my  resolution  much  longer,  for  when  we  came  back  to 
the  door  again  he  said  he  wouldn't  come  in  to  see  you  now,  and 
when  he  begged  me  to  let  him  call  at  Mrs.  Elsworth's  to-mor- 
row night,  I  did  not  feel  it  in  my  heart  to  refuse  him ; — was  it 
very  wrong  of  me  to  do  so  .''" 

Said  I;—*"  I'm  afraid,  Mary,  my  opinion  would  not  matter 
much  either  way  ;  Elder  Shrewsbury's  eloquence  is  the  music 
which  you  like  best  to  listen  to." 

She  blushed,  and  came  and  sat  down  beside  me,  and  we 
talked  together  until  the  sun  went  down  and  my  little  room 
was  quite  dark.  I  told  her  of  my  troubles  in  Switzerland  and 
of  the  miserable  effects  of  introducing  Polygamy  there ;  and 
she  in  return  told  me  all  her  love  affairs  with  Elder  Shrews- 
bury and  of  her  resolution  not  to  listen  to  him  unless  he  sol- 
emnly promised  never  to  have  anything  to  do  with  the  hated 
Revelation.  Her  faith  in  Mormonism  itself  had,  as  I  expected, 
been  very  severely  shaken,  and  I  think  that  had  it  not  been 
for  my  efforts  to  re-assure  her,  she  would  have  left  the  Church 
at  that  time.    Would,  to  God,  she  had. 

After  tea,  she  said — "  Have  you  a  copy  of  the  Revelation 
here,  Sister  Stenhouse  .-'  I  want  to  show  you  some  strong 
points  in  it  which  I  think  will  astonish  you.  I  learned  all 
about  it  from  Elder  Shrewsbury  that  night  when  he  came  to 
see  me,  and  ^  it  was  that  that  disgusted  me  with  the  whole 
affair."  We  searched  through  my  trunk  but  could  not  find 
the  document,  and  I  told  her  that  I  had  not  patience  to  read 
it  quite  through  when  it  was  given  to  me,  and  that  since 
then  I  was  not  sure  that  I  had  even  seen  it.  "  Never 
mind,"  she  said,  "  I'll  bring  it  with  me  when  I  come  again." 

How  often  have  I  thought  since  how  much  depended  upon 
that  trifling  circumstance.     Had  we  then  together  read  over 


the  Revelation  and  noticed  the  "  strong  points,"  of  which  she 
spoke,  I  believe  my  eyes  would  have  been  opened  and  I  never 
should  have  submitted  to  the  misery  which  I  afterwards  en- 
dured in  Utah. 

By  and  by  she  asked  me  whether  I  had  heard  anything  of  the 
terrible  doings  out  in  Zion,  and  I,  in  return, , asked  her  wha^" 
doings  she  alluded  to. 

"  Well,"  she  said,  "  I  hardly  like  to  tell  you,  if  you  have 
heard  nothing  about  the  matter,  for  I'm  not  quite  sure 
whether  it  all  is  true  ;  but  we  have  had  some  strange  reports 
floating  about  here,  just  like  the  reports  of  Polygamy,  before 
it  was  acknowledged.  It  is  said  that  in  the  time  of  Joseph 
Smith  a  band  of  men  was  organised  who  put  to  death  any  one 
who  was  troublesome  to  the  Church  or  offended  the  Elders. 
Some  people  say  that  it  was  one  or  perhaps  more  of  this  band 
who  fired  at  Governor  Boggs,  of  Missouri,  and  who  killed 
many  other  Gentiles.  Dr.  Avard  and  Sidney  Rigdon  are 
said  to  have  been  mixed  up  in  the  matter,  and  that  wretched 
man,  John  C.  Bennett,  tells  a  frightful  story  about  it.  But  that 
is  not  the  worst,  for  Elder  Shrewsbury  himself  told  me  long 
ago  that  Thomas  B.  Marsh,  the  then  President  of  the  Twelve, 
when  he  apostatised,  took  oath  that  the  Saints  had  formed  a 
"  Destruction  Company,"  as  he  called  it,  for  the  purpose  of 
avenging  themselves,  and  Orson  Hyde,  in  a  solemn  affidavit 
swore  that  all  that  Marsh  had  said  <vas  true." 

"  Well  dear,"  I  said,  "  I've  heard  all  that  before,  but  no  doubt 
it  is  all  scandal." 

"I'm  afraid  not,"  she  replied;  "for  I  have  heard  from  people 
who  ought  to  know,  that  since  the  Saints  have  been  in  Salt 
Lake  Valley  the  same  things  have  been  done ;  only  now  they 
speak  of  those  men  as  "  Danites  "  and  "  Avenging  Angels." 
People  say  that  those  who  are  dissatisfied  and  want  to  leave 
Zion,  almost  always  are  killed  after  they  set  out,  by  the  Indians, 
and  they  dare  not  say  boldly  who  they  believe  those  "Indians" 
are.  Then,  too,  one  lady  told  me  that  she  had  heard  from  her 
sister  that  not  only  were  apostates  killed  in  a  mysterious  way 
by  Indians  or  some  one  else,  but  that  many  people  were  "mis- 


sing,"  or  else  found  murdered,  who  were  only  suspected  of 
being  very  weak  in  the  faith.  These  things  are  horrible,  and 
sometimes  I  think  I  will  never  go  out  to  Zion." 

I  had  heard  these  very  same  stories,  and  told  her  so ;  and  I 
tried  to  make  her  believe  that  they  were  without  foundation ; 
but  I  could  see  that  what  she  had  heard  had  made  a  great  im- 
pression on  her  mind.  So  I  turned  the  conversation  to  other 
topics,  and  we  talked  over  our  plans  and  prospects  for  the 
future.  Neither  of  us  were  very  hopeful — she  because  she 
was  undecided  what  course  to  pursue  ;  I  because  of  the 
shadow  of  coming  sorrow  which  already  began  to  darken  my 
way.  We  tried,  however,  to  comfort  each  other;  and  when 
she  left  I  certainly  felt  more  assured  and  hopeful. 

At  this  time  I  was  left  much  alone,  for  my  husband  having 
no  business  in  which  to  employ  himself  was  sent  by  the  Pas- 
tor of  the  London  Conference  to  travel  among  the  Saints  ; 
domestic  comfort  or  the  claims  of  a  wife  were  never  for  a 
moment  thought  worthy  of  consideration.  Then  it  was  that 
I  felt  how  lonely  one  may  be  in  the  midst  of  that  Great  City. 

Towards  the  end  of  the  year  1855,  it  was  determined  that  a 
company  of  Mormon  emigrants,  numbering  several  hundreds, 
should  leave  Liverpool  en  route  for  Salt  Lake  City ;  and  for 
that  purpose  a  vessel  was  chartered  early  in  November.  This 
was  not  the  ordinary  season  for  emigration,  but  there  were 
then  in  England  numbers  of  the  Saints,  anxious  to  go  to  Zion, 
but  too  poor  to  pay  their  passage  all  the  way.  It  was  thought 
that  when  they  arrived  in  New  York  they  would  have  time 
to  earn  sufTficient  to  carry  them  on,  and  it  was  then  sup- 
posed they  could  join  those  who  came  over  by  the  ordinary 
spring  emigration.  My  husband  and  myself  were  counselled 
to  join  these  emigrants  in  Liverpool  and  proceed  at  once  to 
New  York. 

I  was  now  strong  enough  to  travel,  and  though  far  from  well, 
and  the  prospect  of  such  a  journey  in  the  middle  of  winter,  was 
anything  but  cheering.  My  husband,  however,  who  was  anx- 
ious to  go,  smoothed  away  every  difficulty,  and  it  was  resolved 
that  this  time  we  should  "  obey  "  counsel. 


The  reader  may  perhaps  think  me  somewhat  unreasonable 
in  regarding  such  a  journey  as  more  than  an  ordinary  an- 
noyance ;  but  he  should  remember  that  I  am  speaking 
of  eighteen  years  ago.  The  passage  across  the  Atlantic 
Ocean  in  mid-winter  is  anything  but  inviting  even  under 
the  best  of  circumstances,  but  in  the  old  days  of  sailing-ves- 
sels it  was  infinitely  worse.  The  ocean-steamers  now  make  the 
passage  in  from  ten  to  fourteen  days ;  but  then  a  month  was  con- 
sidered a  good,  quick  passage  for  a  sailing  boat.  Then  too  the 
modern  accommodations— even  for  steerage  passengers— bear 
no  comparison  with  the  frightful  disorder  and  utter  lack  of  com- 
fort experienced  in  former  times.  All  this  ought  to  be  taken 
inio  consideration  when  speaking  of  the  early  Mormon  emi- 
grants and  the  sacrifices  which  that  people  then  made 
for  their  faith.  There  was  the  same  difference  between  them 
and  the  snug  little  party  which  a  year  ago  crossed  the  ocean 
under  the  guidance  of  the  councillor  Apostle  G.  A.  Smith,  and 
the  childless  versifier  Eliza  R.  Snow,  as  there  was  between 
St.  Paul  braving  the  perils  of  shipwreck  with  the  tempestuous 
Euroclydon,  and  the  modern  orthodox  missionary  with  well- 
fiUed  purse  and  comfortable  outfit  on  board  the  magnificent 
steamers  of  the  Mediterranean. 

The  Mormon  emigration  has  always  been  a  well-managed 
business  ;  and,  forming  a  united  body,  under  the  guidance  of 
inspired  leaders,  the  Mormons  have  never  given  so  much  trouble 
as  ordinary  passengers.  At  the  time  of  which  I  speak,  the  emi- 
gration was  on  a  much  larger  scale  than  at  present ;  although 
even  now  several  thousand  converts  arrive  every  summer  in 
New  York  on  their  way  to  Utah.  Now  the  journey  from 
Liverpool  to  Salt  Lake  City  is  accomplished  easily  in  less 
than  a  month  ;— then  it  required  nine.  The  Saints  used  then 
to  speak  of  Zion  as  being  "a  thousand  miles  from  every- 
where ;"  and  when  they  went  East  they  used  to  talk  of  "  going 
to  the  States"  as  if  they  belonged  to  another  nation:— but 
now  the  Great  Pacific  Railway  has  knit  together  the  utmost 
limits  of  this  vast  country,  and  a  journey  to  the  Far  West  is 
only  a  pleasant  summer  tour. 


Every  presiding  Elder  in  Britain  is  a  Mormon  Emigration- 
Agent: —  unpaid,  but  no  less  effective.  It  is  apart  of  his  mis- 
sion. The  Elder  presiding  over  "  the  office  "  at  Liverpool — 
generally  some  favored  Apostle — pockets  all  tJie  profits  of  the 
transaction,  and  has  but  little  trouble  in  return.  The  Saints 
are  notified  through  the  Star  of  the  day  when  the  vessel  will 
sail,  and  are  told  to  forward  their  emigration-money,  or  at 
least  a  portion  of  it  ; — as  the  Church  risks  nothing.  The 
Apostle,  being  thus  secured  by  the  deposits,  arranges  with  the 
shipping  agent  for  the  passage  of  a  specified  number  of 
persons,  and  receives  a  very  nice  commission  upon  each  emi- 
grant— which  commission  is  one  of  the  chief  perquisites  of 
his  office. 

The  Mormons  in  London  were  very  kind  to  us  before  we 
left  and  did  all  they  could  to  help  us  in  preparing  for  our 
journey.  A  kinder  people  than  the  Saints  in  Europe  could  no- 
where be  found.  My  husband  had  been  directed  to  take 
charge  of  the  emigrants  in  the  transit  from  London  to  Liver- 
pool, and  consequently  I  received  no  assistance  from  him.  It 
seemed  to  me  a  very  cruel  arrangement  for  the  Elders  to  take 
away  from  me  and  my  helpless  little  ones  the  very  person  to 
whom  we  ought  naturally  to  have  turned  for  protection; 
but  what  were  the  feelings  of  a  weak  woman  when  they 
came  in  conflict  with  the  "  counsel  "  of  inspired  Apostles  ? 

We  arrived  in  Liverpool  the  same  evening,  and  there  my 
husband  was  relieved  of  the  charge  of  the  company,  and  some 
of  the  brethren  were  appointed  to  see  that  the  baggage  was 
safely  transferred  from  the  railway  to  the  ship.  Early 
the  next  morning  we  went  on  board,  and  it  was  not  long 
before  we  began  to  experience  the  pleasures  (?)  of  an  emi- 
grant life. 

Before  we  set  out  for  Liverpool,  I  had  been  told  that  on 
board  ship  I  should  be  able  to  obtain  all  the  help  that  I  might 
desire ;  and  anxious  to  provide  for  the  comfort  of  the  children, 
I  engaged  the  services  of  two  young  girls  to  look  after  them 
and  assist  me  generally.  This  was  an  imprudent  step,  as  I 
afterwards  found  to  my  cost ;  but  at  the  time  I  thought  that 


I  had  made  a  very  sensible  arrangement.  Help  being  se- 
cured, my  next  thought  was  to  get  our  berths  fixed,  so  that  all 
mio-ht  be  ready  before  the  rolling  of  the  ship  began.  My  first 
enquiries  were  for  our  bedding;  but  it  was  no  where  to  be 
found.  Now  this  was  very  annoying,  for  we  were  all  tired  and 
the  children,  poor  things,  were  fidgetty ;  and  anticipating  a 
long  and  unpleasant  voyage  I  wanted  to  have  everything  in 
readiness.  Besides  which  I  had  made  special  preparations  in 
the  shape  of  many  additional  comforts  which  I  knew  on  board 
ship  would  be  absolutely  necessary,  and  had  even  sold  my 
watch  and  jewelry  for  that  purpose. 

I  enquired  of  the  proper  authorities,  but  could  obtain  no 
information,  and  nothing  remained  but  for  me  to  jvait  until  the 
Apostle  came  on  board  to  bid  a  final  adieu  to  the  emigrants. 
I  felt  this  annoyance  all  the  more  as  I  considered  that  we  had 
no  right  to  expect  such  mismanagement.  We  would  natur- 
ally have  preferred  to  make  our  own  arrangements  and  to 
go  alone,  had  we  been  permitted  to  do  so  ;  but  we  had,  over 
and  over  again,  been  instructed  not  to  go  by  any  other  vessel 
but  that  chartered  by  the  Apostle  Richards,  that  so  we 
might  escape  the  perils  which  were  sure  to  overtake  the  Gen- 
tiles. Imagine  our  disgust  when  we  found  that  as  there 
were  not  enough  of  the  Saints  to  occupy  the  whole  ship,  the 
lower  deck  was  filled  with  Irish  emigrants  of  the  most  barbar- 
ous type,  and  that  their  luggage  and  ours  had  been  thrown 
together  indiscriminately  into  the  hold.  Most  of  the  Mormon 
emigrants  recovered  their  property  when  they  arrived  at  New 
York,  but  as  for  our  own,  personally,  we  never  saw  it 
again,  and  all  the  voyage  through  we  were  left  utterly  desti- 

The  Apostle  Richards  and  Pastor  Kimball  came  on  board 
before  the  vessel  sailed  and  I  told  them  all  about  it.  We 
could  not  possibly  put  to  sea  in  that  condition,  I  said,  and  I 
wanted  to  leave  the  ship.  He  promised  that  the  things  should 
be  looked  after,  and  assured  me  that  on  no  account  should  we 
be  permitted  to  sail  without  being  properly  provided  for.  I 
not  only  trusted  their  word  as  gentlemen  but  I  believed  in 

174  HOW    MR.    TENANT    LOST    HIS    MONEY. 

them  as  favored  servants  of  God  ;  and  when  subsequently  I 
found  that  they  had  wilfully  deceived  me  I  became  conscious 
that  there  was  as  little  of  the  true  and  truthful  gentleman 
about  some  of  the  modern  Apostles,  as  there  was  of  the  apos- 
tle about  ordinary  gentlemen. 

Thus  in  the  cold,  foggy  days  of  an  English  November 
we  set  out,  bereft  of  the  commonest  necessaries,  and  deceived 
by  our  own  leaders,  to  begin  a  new  life  in  a  new  world. 

I  would  not  for  my  own  sake  mention  these  unpleasant 
reminiscences  were  it  not  that  so  many  mean  and  cruel  de- 
ceptions— and,,  were  it  not  that  I  do  not  care  to  use  harsh 
words,  I  might  call  downright  ^^ swindles'' — had  come  beneath 
my  observation  in  connection  with  the  Mormon  emigration 
in  past  years.  I  will  mention  one  alone  which  ought  not  to 
be  passed  by  unnoticed. 

In  the  year  1854,  Brigham  Young  and  the  leading  Elders 
were  most  anxious  to  draw  to  Zion  the  converts  from  every 
part  of  the  globe ;  and  for  this  purpose  the  faithful  were  called 
upon  to  bring  in  freely  their  contributions  to  the  Perpetual 
Emigration  Fund.  To  set  them  an  example.  Brother  Brig- 
ham  himself  stated  that  he  would  present  as  a  free-gift  his 
own  property — a  valuable  city  house  and  lot,  if  any  purchaser 
could  be  found  wealthy  enough  to  purchase  it.  An  English 
gentleman  named  Tenant,  a  new  convert,  accepted  the  offer  and 
advanced  the  money— thirty  thousand  dollars — and  set  out  for 
Salt  Lake  City,  expecting  there  to  be  put  in  possession  of  the 
property.  He  was  one  of  the  unfortunate  Hand-Cart  Emi- 
grants, of  whom  I  shall  presently  have  occasion  to  speak  more 
fully;  and  he  died  on  the  plains.  His  wife  and  children,  when 
they  arrived  in  the  Valley,  were  told  that  the  transaction  was 
not  made  with  them  but  with  Mr.  Tenant,  and  all  their  efforts 
to  obtain  the  property,  which  in  common  justice  was  theirs, 
were  unavailing.  At  the  present  moment  Mr.  Tenant's  wife 
lives  in  miserable  poverty  in  Salt  Lake  City,  while  there  is  no 
one  to  bring  the  honest  Prophet  to  account. 

The  vessel  sailed,  and  we  heard  no  more  of  our  property. 
Whether  it   ever  left   London,   or  whether   some    obliging 


brother  took  charge  of  it  on  his  own  account,  I  cannot  say, 
but  I  could  form  a  pretty  good  guess.  I  frequently  see  that 
man  in  Salt  Lake  City,  and  I  aways  think  of  my  bedding 
when  I  see  him.  Nothing,  however,  remained  but  for  me  to 
put  the  best  face  I  could  upon  matters.  I  took  my  wearing 
apparel  and  other  articles  out  of  the  trunks  and  put  them  into 
pillow  slips,  and  extemporised  as  well  as  I  could  a  rough  sub- 
stitute for  beds.  These  served  for  the  children,  and  I  cov- 
ered them  with  my  cloaks  and  shawls  ;  and  for  our  own 
berths  and  bed-covering  I  had  only  a  few  pieces  of  carpet 
which  I  had  put  aside  for  the  cabin  floor,  together  with  a 
worn-out  blanket  which  an  old  lady  on  board  was  good 
enough  to  lend  me. 

We  had  not  been  long  at  sea  when  the  young  sisters  whom 
I  had  engaged  to  help  me,  fell  sick,  and  some  of  the  brethren 
were  very  anxious  to  nurse  them.  This  appeared  to  be  quite 
the  established  order  of  things,  for  I  then  found  that  it  was 
very  seldom  that  a  Mormon  emigrant  ship  crossed  the  ocean 
without  one  or  more  marriages  on  board.  It  was,  no  doubt, 
very  interesting  to  them,  but  to  me  it  was  extremely  incon- 
venient, especially  considering  that  my  husband  had  now 
taken  to  his  berth,  which  he  did  not  leave  during  the  remain- 
der of  the  voyage,  and  myself  and  the  children  were  not 
much  better  off. 

Sick  as  I  was,  I  had  to  prepare  our  food,  and  manage  every- 
thing, for  in  those  times  emigrants  either  took  out  their  own 
provisions  or  were  allowanced  in  raw  material,  and  in  either 
case  had  to  do  their  own  cooking.  My  chief  difficulty  was  in 
getting  what  I  had  prepared  to  the  fire-galley,  for  I  could  nof^ 
leave  the  children,  and  I  was  afraid  to  venture  myself  upon 
deck.  So  I  got  any  of  the  brethren  who  chanced  to  be  pass- 
ing to  take  it  up,  and  of  course  they  were  willing  to  oblige 
me ;  but  the  galley  was  so  crowded— every  one  having  his  or 
her  own  interests  to  attend  to— that  I  very  rarely,  if  ever,  had 
my  provisions  decently  cooked,  and  on  more  than  one  occa- 
sion I  never  saw  them  again.  This  was  an  inconvenience 
which  modern  emigrants  do  not  suffer  at  the  present  day. 

170  "harry  and  the  rats." 

Unsuccessful  with  the  young  sisters,  I  thought  I  would  try 
if  I  could  not  get  one  of  the  brethren  to  help  me,  and  fortune 
at  first  appeared  to  favor  me.  There  was  on  board  a  young 
man — Harry,  they  called  him, — and  he  was  so  situated  that 
I  found  it  easy  to  open  a  negotiation  with  him.  He  had  been 
a  saddler's  apprentice  in  a  country  town  in  England,  and  hav- 
ing listened  to  some  itinerant  preacher,  had  been  converted, 
joined  the  Church,  and  begun  to  think  for  himself.  So  hear- 
ing that  terrible  judgments  were  quickly  coming  upon  the  Old 
World,  he  resolved  to  flee  to  the  New,  and  in  his  hurry  to  get 
there  he  forgot  to  inform  his  master  that  he  was  about  to 
leave.     This  accounted  for  his  being  so  badly  provided  for. 

Now,  Harry  had  those  two  great  blessings — a  splendid 
appetite  and  unimpeachable  powers  of  digestion.  I  will  not 
say  that  he  enjoyed  these  two  blessings,  for  that  he  did  not, 
on  account  of  lacking  a  third  blessing,  namely,  the  where- 
withal to  make  the  first  two  blessings  a  pleasure,  and  not  an 
inconvenience.  The  ship's  allowance  was  altogether  insuffi- 
cient for  him,  and  he,  therefore,  gladly  engaged  to  do  what 
few  things  I  required  upon  condition  that  I  should  add  a  little 
to  his  own  private  commissariat. 

Harry  was  a  smart  lad  and  at  first  very  useful,  and  he  soon 
convinced  me  that  he  had  told  the  truth  when  he  said  that 
he  had  not  had  enough  to  eat  ever  since  he  came  on  board — 
it  seemed  to  me  very  questionable  whether  he  ever  had 
before.  He  had,  however,  nothing  to  complain  of  in  that 
respect  while  in  our  employment,  for  although  the  children 
were  able  to  eat  whenever  we  had  anything  fit  for  them,  my 
husband  and  myself  could  seldom  touch  our  rations,  and  as 
everything  that  was  not  used  fell  to  Harry's  share,  he  fared 
pretty  well. 

Harry  was  not  the  lad  to  neglect  his  own  interests,  and  as 
our  interests  appeared  just  then  to  be  his  also,  matters  worked 
very  harmoniously.  Our  bread  was  never  now  brought  back 
to  us  half  raw  or  burnt  to  a  cinder.  It  must  be  properly 
cooked  for  our  eating  or  it  would  not  do  for  Harry's,  and  as 
for  it  being  lost  or  delayed  on  its  way  to  or  from  the  galley 


that  was,  of  course,  quite  out  of  the  question.  But  the 
strangest  thing  of  all  connected  with  Harry  was  that  imme- 
diately after  his  coming  we  were  incessantly  annoyed  by  tJie 
rats.  I  had  brought  for  the  children's  use  a  small  supply  of 
preserves  and  other  little  delicacies  ;  but  these  mysteriously 
disappeared  with  alarming  rapidity,  and  whenever  I  saved  any 
trifle  for  the  children  to  eat  between  meals,  that  also  was  gone 
when  it  was  wanted,  and  in  every  instance  Harry  suggested 
that  it  was  "  the  rats,"  though  I  never  could  find  any  traces 
of  those  interesting  animals.  I  was  sorry  to  part  with  Harry, 
for  he  used  to  tell  funny  stories  to  the  children,  and  amused 
them  a  great  deal,  but  "the  rats"  and  Harry  were  so  closely 
associated  in  my  mind  that  I  thought  if  Harry  left,  the  rats 
might  perhaps  also  cease  their  visits.  So  Harry  went,  and  I 
was  once  more  left  alone  to  do  the  best  I  could. 

The  weather  was  very  cold,  and  though  we  wore  our  cloth- 
ing day  and  night,  we  felt  its  severity  very  much.  The  rig- 
ging of  the  ship  was  hung  with  icicles,  and  without  lire  or 
warmth  of  any  sort,  it  is  no  wonder  that  we  all  were  soon 
hardly  able  to  move  from  cold  and  sickness.  I  have  heard 
emigrants  who  came  over  in  steam-vessels  say  that  even  in 
mid-winter  the  heat  in  their  berths  was  almost  unendurable ; 
but  in  a  sailing-vessel  there  were,  of  course,  no  engine  fires 
to  warm  the  ship,  and  the  passengers  suffered  accordingly. 

In  the  midst  of  my  trouble  I  was  told  of  an  ancient  Scotch 
sister — a  maiden  lady,  sharp  and  shrewd, — who,  like  the  miser 
in  Scott's  "Fortunes  of  Nigel,"  was  willing  to  help  us  "for  a 
consideration."  So  we  talked  the  matter  over,  and  it  was 
agreed  that  she  should  give  me  her  services  for  the  remain- 
der of  the  voyage  ;  and  the  "  consideration "  was  to  be  two 
pounds  English,  Small  as  was  our  stock  of  money,  and  much 
as  I  knew  we  should  need  it  upon  our  arrival,  I  felt  that  I 
could  do  no  better  than  engage  her.  There  was  no  saying 
upon  whom  sJie  might  chance  to  set  her  maiden  fancy,  but 
there  was  not  the  remotest  chance  of  any  of  the  brethren  falling 
in  love  zuith  her ;  so  I  considered  her  a  safe  investment,  and, 
besides,  I  must  have  somebody — there  was  no  alternative. 


It  was  now  Christmas  time — a  season  which  in  England 
was  always  sacred  to  joyous  memories  and  festivities  ;  but 
to  us,  exiles  and  wanderers,  seeking  a  land  of  which  we  knew 
nothing,  and  which  to  us  was  a  new  and  untried  world,  it  was 
far  from  being  a  happy  time.  In  the  midst  of  the  wild,  dreary 
ocean  there  was  nothing  to  recall  the  pleasant  reminiscences 
of  the  past,  or  to  inspire  us  with  hope  and  courage  as  we 
thought  of  the  future. 

The  Captain  told  us  that  we  might  prepare  to  eat  our 
Christmas  dinner  in  New  York;  but  he  was  mistaken.  I  can 
form  no  opinion  of  the  captain  as  a  seaman,  but  as  a  man  I 
detested  him  for  his  cruel  treatment  of  two  unfortunate  men 
who  were  under  him.  These  men — one  a  Spaniard,  and  the 
other  a  Hungarian — had  agreed  to  work  out  their  passage  to 
New  York,  but  they  were  quite  unfit  for  sea  life.  One  of  them 
when  he  refused  or  was  unable  to  go  up  into  the  shrouds, 
was  dragged  aloft  by  main  force,  and  there  they  tied  him, 
and  there  they  kept  him  until  he  was  nearly  frozen  to  death. 
On  another  occasion  they  beat  both  of  these  men  with  spikes, 
and  I  feared  they  would  kill  them,  and  their  cries  and  groans 
right  above  my  head  were  most  painful  to  listen  to.  In  fact, 
so  badly  were  they  treated  that  on  their  arrival  they  had  to 
be  carried  to  the  hospital.  Such  was  the  "discipline"  on 
board  that  ship. 

The  Captain  was  mistaken  in  his  calculations.  We  did  not 
eat  our  Christmas  dinner  in  New  York,  as  he  had  promised. 
A  storm  came  on,  which  compelled  us  to  stand  out  to  sea 
again,  and  then  a  dead  calm  followed,  and  it  was  not  until 
New  Year's  eve  that  we  set  foot  upon  the  shore  of  the  New 

We  were  now  three  thousand  miles  nearer  to  Zion ;  but  my 
heart  misgave  me  as  I  thought  of  the  future,  and  the  first 
New  Year's  day  that  I  spent  in  the  United  States  was  any- 
thing but  a  day  of  pleasure  to  me. 



An  Introduction  to  a  New  World — The  New  York  Saints— How  Certain  Elders 
Disappeared — An  Uncomfortable  Week — Left  all  Alone — Love  Waxing  Cold 
-r-Mental  Slavery — The  School-House  at  Williamsburgh — Miserable  Condi- 
tion of  the  Emigrants — Suffering  for  Their  Faith — The  Apostle  Taylor  Lec- 
tures the  Saints — Some  Smart  "Counsel" — Buying  Shovels — An  Unprofit- 
able Speculation — The  "Mean  Yankee  Gentiles" — Days  and  Nights  of  Trial 
— How  the  "  Aformoii'"  was  Edited — A  Rather  Small  Salary — The  Doings  of 
High-Priests  and  "Seventies" — An  Amiable  Connecticut  Girl — Half-a-dozen 
Wives — Permission  from  Brigham  Young — Certain  Elders  who  had  "Disease 
of  the  Heart" — The  Course  of  True  Love — A  Young  Widow  Who  Looked 
Well  in  Weeds — Arranging  the  Affairs  of  the  Heart — The  True  Source  of 
Modern  Revelations. 

VERY  cold,  and  dark,  and  dreary,  were  the  first  days  which 
we  spent  in  the  New  World.  That  faith  which  once  had 
led  me  to  hope,  and  believe,  and  endure  all  things,  was  now 
powerless  to  nerve  me  to  any  new  course  of  action  for  my 
religion's  sake  ;  for  the  dark  shadow  of  Polygamy  had  come 
across  my  way  ;  hope  had  fled,  and  my  love,  with  the  love  of 
many  other  faithful  Saints,  had  waxed  cold. 

To  my  husband  and  children  I  was,  of  course,  devotedly 
attached,  and  was  willing  to  combat  any  difficulty  or  endure 
any  trial  with  them,  or  for  their  sake  ;  and  it  was  not  long 
before  my  constancy  was  put  to  the  test. 

The  Mormon  emigrants  have  ahvays  a  Captain  and  two 
"Counsellors"  to  every  company.  The  Captain  on  board  the 
Emerald  Isle — the  vessel  in  which  we  came — was  a  returning 
Utah  Elder ; — one  of  his  Counsellors  was  also  a  returning 
Elder,  and  my  husband  was  the  other.     As  soon  as  the  Mor- 

l80  THE    BEGINNING    OF    A    NEW    LIFE. 

mon  Captain  had  come  on  shore,  and  had  reported  to  the 
Apostle  in  charge  of  the  New  York  Saints,  he  left  to  visit  his 
friends.  The  Utah  Counsellor  had  a  young  lady  in  the  com- 
pany^ to  whom  he  had  become  very  much  attached,  and  who 
afterward  became  one  of  his  wives.  I  was  not,  therefore, 
surprised  that,  as  soon  as  he  could  get  his  baggage,  he  also 
should  disappear ;  but  my  husband — the  other  Counsellor — 
being  encumbered  with  a  wife  and  family,  was  obliged  to 
remain,  and  the  whole  charge  of  seeing  to  the  company 
devolved  upon  him. 

We  had,  therefore,  to  remain  in  Castle  Gardens  until  the 
whole  company  of  emigrants  was  provided  for  ;  and  during  all 
the  next  week  I,  with  my  four  children,  remained  in  that  pub- 
lic place,  sick  and  weary,  and  as  destitute  of  bedding  and 
covering  as  we  had  been  on  board  ship.  The  weather  was 
intensely  cold,  and,  unaccustomed  as  we  were  to  the  severity 
of  an  American  winter,  we  suffered  not  a  little.  The  other 
unfortunate  victims  to  faith  were  in  the  same  condition,  with 
the  exception  that  they  had  something  to  sleep  on  at  nights, 
while  I  had  nothing  but  the  bare  boards  for  my  bed  since 
we  left  Liverpool ; — all  that  I  could  gather  together  had  been 
reserved  for  my  babes.  How  we  lived  through  that  journey 
I  know  not,  but  I  am  certain  that,  could  I  have  forseen  what 
we  should  have  to  endure,  I  would  never  have  left  England, 
whatever  my  refusal  might  have  cost  me. 

I  could  not  refrain  from  contrasting  my  life  before  and 
since  I  knew  Mormonism.  Before,  I  scarcely  knew  what  suf- 
fering was,  so  little  had  I  been  called  upon  to  endure ;  I  never 
knew  what  it  was  to  be  without  money,  or  to  want  for  any- 
thing ;  but  now  I  was  in  a  strange  land,  in  the  depth  of  win- 
ter, without  a  home,  without  a  pillow  to  rest  my  weary  head 
upon,  and  with  a  future  before  me  so  dark  that  not  a  single 
ray  of  light  gave  to  it  the  promise  of  hope.  Could  any 
slavery  be  more  complete  than  mine  ?  My  fanaticism  and 
zeal  were  all  gone — I  had  nothing  to  sustain  me.  Certainly, 
I  was  still  held  by  the  fear  that  Mormonism,  after  all,  might 
be  of  God,  and  that  all  this  suffering  might  be  necessary  for 


my  salvation — but  if  at  that  time  I  had  only  had  a  friend  whose 
mind  was  clear  from  all  the  nonsense  of  Mormonism,  and  who 
had  felt  sufficient  interest  in  me  to  advise  me  for  my  good,  I 
think  even  then  I  might  have  freed  myself  from  the  mental 
slavery  in  which  I  was  bound.  But  I  had  no  intercourse 
with  any  but  Mormons  ;  and,  indeed,  a  wish  to  form  Gentile 
friendships  I  should  then  have  considered  a  sin. 

A  week  after  our  arrival,  my  husband  found  time  to  seek 
for  apartments  for  his  family,  and  I  was  thankful  to  leave  our 
miserable  quarters  at  Castle  Gardens. 

The  Mormon  authorities  had,  meanwhile,  given  instructions 
to  the. other  emigrants  how  to  act,  and  they  did  little  more 
than  this.  Those  who  had  not  found  work  or  places  to  go  to 
were  ordered  to  leave  the  Gardens,  and  received  permission 
to  occupy  an  old  dilapidated  school-room  in  Williamsburgh, 
which  had  been  used  for  preaching.  I  went  there  almost 
daily  to  see  them,  and  therefore  state  what  I  saw  as  an  eye- 
witness, and  neither  exaggerate  nor  misrepresent.  There  they 
huddled  together  about  one  hundred  and  fifty  men,  women 
and  children.  Most  of  the  men  had  been  respectable  me- 
chanics in  their  own  country  ;  many  of  them  I  had  known 
personally  and  had  visited  in  their  cosy  English  homes  ;  and 
their  wives  and  families  had  been  decently  brought  up.  What 
they  must  have  suffered  under  this  change  of  circumstances  I 
leave  the  reader  to  guess. 

In  that  miserable  place  they  lived  day  and  night — the  poor, 
dispirited  mothers — many  of  them  very  sick — having  to  cook, 
and  wash,  and  perform  all  the  necessary  domestic  duties, 
round  two  small  sheet-iron  stoves.  It  was  not  long  before 
the  place  became  like  a  pest-house  from  so  many  being  con- 
fined in  so  small  a  place,  and  breathing  the  same  fetid  and 
pestilential  atmosphere,  and  many  of  the  young  children  died 
of  an  epidemic  which  was  raging  among  them. 

They  had  saved  some  of  their  ship's  provisions,  and  that 
was  all  they  had  to  eat,  and  it  did  not  last  long.  To  me  it 
was  most  distressing  to  witness  so  much  misery  without 
being  able  to  render  any  assistance,  particularly  to  see  the 


poor  little  children  shivering  and  crying  with  hunger  and  cold, 
while  many  of  their  mothers  were  in  such  a  miserable  state 
of  apathy  that  they  paid  little  or  no  attention  to  them.  I 
often  tried  to  awaken  in  them  feelings  of  human  sympathy, 
but  I  was  met  with  a  murmur  of  discontent — the  people,  men 
and  women  alike — seemed  to  be  utterly  demoralised.  Nor 
can  this  be  a  matter  of  wonder;  for  in  England  the  men  had 
been  told  that — while  at  home  they  could  only  earn  four  or 
five  shillings  a  day,  and  would  never  be  able  to  put  by  enough 
to  carry  them  all  the  way  to  Utah — in  New  York  they  would 
be  able  to  earn  two-and-a-half  to  three,  and  even  four  dollars  a 
day — equal  to  from  ten  to  sixteen  shillings  English — and  that 
employers  would  even  come  on  board  ship  anxious  to  engage 
them.  Thus  they  had  by  false  statements  been  allured  from 
their  homes  and  plunged  into  the  most  abject  poverty.  Day 
by  day  they  went  out  seeking  work,  but  finding  none,  willing 
to  do  anything  to  provide  bread  for  their  families,  but  return- 
ing nightly,  unsuccessful,  to  their  starving  wives  and  children. 

My  own  resources  were  gone.  I  could  do  nothing.  When 
we  left  Castle  Garden  I  think  we  only  had  about  five  dollars 
left,  while  the  heavy  snow  which  covered  the  ground  and  the 
intense  cold  promised  many  weeks  of  unusual  severity. 
Needing  so  greatly  pity  myself,  how  I  sympathised  with 
those  poor  sufferers,  how  I  pitied  them  ! 

In  the  midst  of  all  this,  the  Apostle  John  Taylor  learned 
that  some  of  these  poor  souls  had  been  seen  begging.  So  he 
came  from  his  comfortable  boarding-house  in  Brooklyn,  well 
wrapped  up  in  a  handsome  overcoat,  and  scolded  these  poor, 
starving  creatures,  and  harangued  them  concerning  the  mean- 
ness of  begging.  With  great  swelling  words  he  spoke  of  the 
dignity  of  the  Saints  of  the  Most  High,  and  told  them  that 
he  despised  a  Mormon  who  could  fall  to  the  level  of  a  com- 
mon street  beggar. 

Could  he  have  heard  the  unspoken  curses  of  the  poor, 
wounded  hearts  of  those  who  listened  to  him,  as  they  thought 
of  his  brother  "  Apostle "  in  England,  and  of  how  he  had 
deceived  them  and  sent  them  into  a  strange  country,  in  the 

THE    WISDOM    OF    AN    APOSTLE.  1 85 

depth  of  winter,  to  beg,  to  starve,  or  to  steal,  he  would  have 
learned  that  though  the  victim  of  a  delusive  faith  may  men- 
tally submit  to  man-made  creeds  and  priesthoods,  in  his  -heart 
he  will  judge,  not  so  much  the  words  he  hears  as  the  man. 
who  utters  them. 

The  wisdom  of  the  Apostle  found  out  a  remedy.  He 
"  counselled  "  the  men  and  boys  to  buy  shovels,  and  go  forth 
into  the  streets  and  clean  away  the  snow  from  the  fronts  of 
the  doors  and  from  the  side-walks,  and  told  them  that  they 
would  thus  get  plenty  of  money  to  keep  them  until  winter 
was  over.  One  elderly  brother,  who  had  a  little  money  left 
bought  a  stock  of  shovels  ;  but  the  emigrants  found  that 
there  were  plenty  of  others  who  were  as  eager  as  they  for 
work,  and  who  were  much  better  acquainted  with  the  way  of 
obtaining  it.  The  shovel  experiment  was  a  failure,  and  the 
poor  old  brother  lost  his  money  in  the  investment. 

For  whatever  the  Apostle  Taylor  may  have  contributed  to 
these  unfortunate  persons — whether  in  "  counsel,"  money,  or 
provisions — he  will  doubtless  have  his  reward ;  and,  for  aught 
I  know,  he  may  have  been  unable  to  give  anything  more  than 
counsel ;  but,  at  the  same  time,  my  opinion  of  the  value  of 
counsel  remains  unchanged.  There  has  been  no  lack  of 
"counsel"  or  counsellors  in  the  Mormon  Church.  "  Counsel" 
has  been  given  in  abundance  to  all,  and  by  no  means  always  for 
the  benefit  of  those  who  received  it.  It  was  not,  however, 
because  he  failed  to  assist  them  practically  that  the  people 
hated  the  Apostle  Taylor,  and  have  hated  him  ever  since,  but 
it  was  for  his  pride  and  arrogance,  and  the  way  in  which  he 
dared  to  talk  to  free-born  Englishmen  and  Englishwomen 
about  the  dignity  of  the  Priesthood,  and  the  contempt  in 
which  he  held  them  in  the  hour  of  their  humiliation  and  dis- 
tress— for  that  they  hated  him. 

I  do  not,  of  course,  wish  to  justify  the  people  in  begging  ; 
such  conduct  would  have  been  despicable  if  they  could  have 
found  employment  of  any  sort.  But  when  I  saw  the  starv- 
ing condition  of  those  men  and  their  helpless  families,  in  that 
wretched  school-house,  in  my  heart  I  almost  honored  them  for 

l86  IN    THE    NEW    WORLD. 

having  the  courage  to  beg ;  and  I  thanked  God  that  the 
"  mean  Yankee  Gentiles  " — as  the  Elders  taught  the  Saints 
to  call  American  citizens  who  did  not  believe  in  Mormonism 
— were  able  and  willing  to  assist  them. 

One  of  those  emigrants  very  recently  related  to  me  some 
of  the  painful  circumstances  through  which  he  passed  at  that 
time.  He  told  me  that  he  walked  the  streets  of  Williams- 
burgh  for  three  days  and  three  nights  without  a  mouthful  of 
anything  to  eat,  or  a  place  to  lay  his  head  ; — he  could  obtain 
no  work,  and  at  length,  in  sheer  desperation,  he  \n2l?,  forced  to 
beg.  The  Church  authorities  knew  well  the  misery  of  the 
people,  but  took  no  adequate  steps  to  alleviate  it. 

During  the  first  weeks  after  our  arrival  in  New  York  city 
we  had  nothing  to  depend  upon  but  the  provisions  which  we 
had  saved  from  the  ship's  rations.  I  had  known  what  it  was 
to  be  in  a  foreign  country  without  money  and  without  food  ; 
and  on  board  ship  I  took  care  of  our  rations  when  they  were 
not  consumed  by  Harry  or  "  the  rats  ;"  for  I  thought  that  if  I 
did  not  need  them — which,  indeed,  I  sincerely  hoped  might 
be  the  case — I  could  certainly  find  some  one  who  would  be 
thankful  for  them.  These  rations  consisted  chiefly  of  sugar 
that  was  almost  black;  very  bad  black  tea,  which  when  made 
looked  like  dye ;  the  poorest  kind  of  sea-biscuit ;  and  other 
things  accordingly.  The  provisions  for  the  Mormon  emi- 
grants were  purchased  in  bulk  by  the  Church  authorities,  who 
made  their  own  profits  out  of  them,  and  the  Apostle  at  Liver- 
pool had  the  benefit  of  all  that  could  be  saved  out  of  them 
during  the  voyage.  It  was  commonly  said  among  the  people 
that  the  sight  of  them  alone  was  quite  sufficient  for  any  one 
who  was  not  half-starved  ;  and  yet  they  had  paid  the  price  of 
the  best. 

We  had  been  in  New  York  several  weeks  when  one  day  my 
husband  called  at  the  office  of  a  paper  called  The  Mormon, 
and  there  met  with  the  Apostle  Taylor  who  conducted  that 
paper.  The  Apostle  expressed  great  regret  that  Mr.  Sten- 
house  should  be  without  occupation  at  that  season  of  the  year, 
and  with  a  family  of  children  upon  his  hands.    This  sympathy 


coming  from  a  brother  Missionary  was,  I  thought,  very  tardy, 
for  my  husband  had  then  devoted  over  ten  years  of  his  hfe  to 
the  cause,  and  his  record  in  the  Church  had  been  untarnished. 
The  Apostle  was  Hving  in  an  elegant  house  surrounded  by 
every  comfort  and  luxury,  while  he  knew  that  we  had  not  so 
much  as  a  chair,  or  even  a  bed  to  lie  upon.  What  had  he 
done  for  the  Church  more  than  my  husband  had  done  ?  In- 
deed, I  firmly  believe  that  he  had  not  endured  half  as  much, 
but — he  was  an  Apostle  !  His  unhelping  sympathy  appeared 
to  me  a  little  more  than  questionable. 

He  told  my  husband  that  he  might  come  into  the  office  of 
The  Mormo}i,  and  write  the  addresses  on  the  wrappers,  and 
that  he  would  give  him  .a  few  dollars  a  week  "  to  help  things 
along,"  until  something  better  presented  itself.  My  husband 
thought  this  a  disinterested  action  on  the  part  of  the  Apostle 
John  Taylor,  but  my  experience  in  Mormonism  led  me  to  be 
distrustful  and  suspicious  of  everything  that  an  Elder  or 
Apostle  said  or  did.  This  offer,  however,  came  when  we 
really  had  nothing  to  look  to,  and  dared  not  refuse  any  assist- 
ance that  was  offered,  however  small  it  might  be.  But  I  must 
allow  that  my  ideas  of  Apostolic  liberality  were  very  much 
shocked  when  at  the  end  of  the  week  Mr.  Stenhouse  informed 
me  that  he  had  been  allowed  four  dollars  for  his  services,  and 
that  out  of  that  magnificent  sum  the  Apostle  John  Taylor  had 
deducted  twenty-five  cents  which  sheer  necessity  had  com- 
pelled him  to  borrow  for  the  week's  ferriage. 

The  Apostle-editor  had  two  assistants  from  Utah  with  him 
in  the  "  JSIormon  "  office — the  one  a  "  Seventy,"  and  the  other 
a  "  High-Priest  " — terms  and  titles  which  I  shall  presently  ex- 
plain. A  few  weeks  after  my  husband  entered  the  office,  the 
"  Seventy  "  who  had  charge  of  getting  out  the  paper  was  al- 
lowed to  return  to  Zion.  The  High-Priest  remained  in  the 
Eastern  States  visiting  alternately  the  various  branches  of  the 
Church,  and  doing  some  very  zealous  courting  with  a  young 
English  girl  who  lived  in  Williamsburgh,  while  his  two  unsus- 
pecting wives  at  home  in  Salt  Lake  City  were  earnestly  pray- 
ing the  Lord  to  bless  him  in  his  "mission." 

i88  "troubled   with  heart-disease." 

Whatever  the  Apostle  may  have  thought  of  his  associate, 
he  could  not  very  well  remonstrate  with  him,  for  he  himself 
was,  and  had  been  for  some  time,  doing  a  good  deal  in  that 
line  with  an  amiable  Connecticut  girl,  and  was  only  waiting 
for  special  permission  from  Brigham  Young,  to  add  her  to  the 
half-dozen  wives  he  already  had  in  Utah. 

There  was,  moreover,  another  High-Priest  attached  to  that 
office,  but  no  one  seemed  to  understand  his  exact  position.  To 
all  appearance  his  principal  occupation  was  travelling  from  New 
York  to  Connecticut  and  from  Connecticut  back  again  to  New 
York.  He  was  a  very  robust-looking  man,  but  it  was  reported 
that  he  was  troubled  with  heart-disease,  and  that  the  purer  air 
of  Connecticut  was  a  great  relief  to  him.  This  I  fully  believed 
when,  some  time  after,  I  discovered  that  the  young  lady  en- 
gaged to  the  Apostle  had  a  charming  sister,  for  I  thought  it 
very  probable  that  she  rendered  no  small  assistance  to  the 
Connecticut  air  in  giving  relief  to  his  diseased  heart. 

My  husband  not  being  at  that  particular  time  under  the  in- 
fluence of  "  heart-disease,"  soon  became  very  useful  on  the 
editorial  staff.  In  fact,  pretty  well  everything  was  left  to  him, 
and  not  unfrecjuently  for  two  or  three  days  he  saw  nothing  of 
the  Apostle  or  either  of  his  associates,  and  the  whole  respon- 
sibility of  getting  out  the  paper — at  the  magnificent  salary  of 
fourdollars  a  week  ! — rested  upon  him.  He  was  told  that  he 
must  regard  it  as  a  mission  and  be  prepared  to  act  accord- 

In  course  of  time,  however,  the  visits  to  Connecticut  came 
to  an  end.  The  Apostle  obtained  Brother  Brigham's  permis- 
sion to  practice  a  little  Polygamy  among  the  Gentiles,  and 
Miss  Young  made  him  an  excellent  housekeeper  in  a  hand- 
somely furnished  house  in  Brooklyn.  The  poor  High-Priest 
and  the  Seventy  did  not  fare  so  well  :  they  were  expected  to 
wait  until  they  reached  Zion.  The  two  young  ladies  to  whom 
they  were  engaged  were  amiable  and  good  girls  who  would 
without  doubt  have  met  with  excellent  husbands  either  in  or 
out  of  the  Church  ;  but  the  name  of  an  Apostle  or  High- 
Priest — when  the  men  themselves  were  away  from  home — 

"THE    HAPPIEST    OF    THE    THREE."  1 89 

carried  with  it  many  charms,  and  won  the  hearts  of  the  young 
ladies  and  their  friends.  The  Apostle  was,  of  course,  well 
used  to  the  training  of  wives  in  the  "  celestial  order,"  and 
when  he  returned  home  with  his  youngest  bride  he  suffered 
no  particular  inconvenience.  But  the  High-Priests  realised 
the  truth  of  the  adage  "  the  course  of  true  love  never  did 
run  smooth."  The  first  wife  of  one  of  them  refused  to  have 
anything  to  do  with  his  new  bride,  and  kept  him  at  a  respect- 
ful distance  from  herself  then  and  ever  afterwards  ;  while  the 
first  wife  of  the  other  declined  to  acknowledge  the  claims  of 
her  youthful  rival.  The  first  High-Priest  has  gone  to  heaven  ; 
the  other,  in  the  course  of  time,  gave  a  bill  of  divorce  to  his 
young  wife.  What  happiness  either  of  these  three  girls  found 
in  Polygamy,  they  best  know,  but  the  young  widow  appears 
decidedly  the  happiest  of  the  three. 

I  had  heard  so  much  while  in  London  about  men  taking 
wives   "  from  principle  "  and  that,  after  the  first  wife,  they 
made  no  open  display  of  their  love,  but  I   could  not  see  that 
they  differed  in  the  slightest  from  their  Gentile  brethren  in 
that  respect  ;  the  Utah  Elders,  of  whom   I  have  spoken,  al- 
ways seemed  to  me  very  human.     In  all  Polygamic  courtships 
that   I  have  since  witnessed,  the  brethren  have  appeared  to 
think  that  the  "  Lord's  "  revelation  was  a  trifle  too  slow  in  ar- 
ranging affairs  of  the  heart,  and  they  have  very  zealously  pre- 
pared for  its  coming.     In  some  instances  the  revelation  has 
come  too  late,  and  in  many  others  it  would  have  been  very  dis- 
astrous if  it  had  not  come  at  all.     In  all  cases  it  may  be  safely 
asserted  that  all  that  has  been  said  about  getting  the  consent 
of  the  first  wife  and  obtaining  a  revelation  from  the  Lord  as 
to  whether  it  is  pleasing  in  His  sight  for  a  man  to  take  an- 
other wife,  or  not — is  purely  folly  and  nonsense.     Brigham 
Young  is  the.  only  "  lord  "  who  has  ever  been  consulted  on 
that  question.     If  he  acknowledged  this  to  the  people  and 
they  chose  to  abide  by  it,  they  alone  would  be  to  blame;  but 
It  is  the  grossest  of  frauds  for  men  claiming  to  be  the  repre- 
sentatives of  Jesus  Christ  to  play  upon  the  credulity  of  an 
honest  people,  trifling  with  the  most  sacred  subjects,  and  tell- 


ing  them  that  God  answers  by  special  revelation  and  declares 
whether  or  not  it  is  His  will  that  each  of  these  plural  mar- 
riages should  take  place.  The  Apostles  and  Elders  them- 
selves are  not  deceived.  They  know  well  enough  that  there  is 
no  truth  in  all  this  mockery  ;  they  know  that  the  only 
source  of  all  their  revelations  is  the  man  Brigham  Young. 



The  Eastern  Saints — Service  in  Williamsburgh — "  The  "Prophet  of  the  Lord  " 
Tries  an  Experiment — The  Pilgrims  Cross  the  Plains — The  Hand-Cart 
Scheme — The  Poor  Emigrants— A  "  Divine  "  Plan— The  Great  Gathering  to 
Zion — An  Interesting  Letter  from  Mary  Burton — How  Elder  Shrewsbury  Won 
his  Bride — A  Solemn  Oath  Against  Polygamy — Mary  Burton's  Marriage — 
Arrival  of  the  Hand-Cart  Emigrants — Scene  at  Castle  Gardens — Meeting  with 
Mary  Burton  and  her  Husband — The  Story  of  her  Courtship — Her  Trustful 
Enthusiasm — Proposing  to  make  Brigham  Young  a  A7«^/ — Anticipations  of 
War — How  the  Prophet  Defrauded  Brother  Tenant  of  Sixty  Thousand  Dol- 
lars— The  Pilgrims  Leave  for  the  West — The  Story  of  a  Truant  Wife — Second 
Thoughts  are  Sometimes  Best — The  Mort)ion  Paper  Comes  to  Grief — A  New 
Trial  of  Faith — Literary  Work — Waiting  for  Permission  to  Journey  Zion- 

ONE  Sunday  morning  in  early  spring,  I  attended  a  meet- 
ing of  the  Saints  in  Williamsburgh. 

My  husband  was  there  and  took  part  in  the  service,  and  so 
did  the  Apostle  Taylor,  and  one  or  two  other  Utah  Elders. 
I  went  to  that  meeting  in  a  very  desponding  state  of  mind, 
for  our  prospects  since  the  day  of  our  arrival  had  not 
brightened  very  much,  and  I  felt  the  need  of  some  comfort- 
ing and  cheering  words. 

Whether  it  was  the  influence  of  the  clear  spring  morning, 
or  that  the  Elders  had  noticed  the  depression  of  spirit 
among  the  Saints,  I  cannot  tell,  but  I  know  that  on  that 
particular  occasion  their  words  seemed  to  me  more  earnest 
and  encouraging  than  they  had  been  for  a  long  time  past. 

192  THE    "divine"    plan. 

As  we  came  out  from  the  meeting,  Brother  Benton,  one  of 
the  Elders,  stepped  up  to  my  husband  and  said :  "  Brother 
Stenhouse,  tJicy  are  expected  to  arrive  to-night  or  to-morrow  ; 
I  suppose  you  will  be  down  at  the  "  Gardens  "  to  meet  them." 

I  knew  well  enough  who  "  they  "  were  who  were  expected 
to  arrive,  and  so  did  Mr.  Stenhouse.  "  Yes,"  he  said,  "  of 
course  I  shall  be  there,  but  most  likely  we  shall  have  to  wait 
a  few  days  before  they  come."  Then  he  stopped  and  talked 
over  the  matter  with  Elder  Benton. 

Now  it  chanced  that  at  that  time  Brigham  Young  was  try- 
ing an  experiment.  The  "  Prophet  of  the  Lord  "  sometimes 
finds  it  necessary — notwithstanding  the  "  revelations"  which  he 
is  supposed  to  receive — to  try  experiments  like  other  men  be- 
fore he  can  feel  sure  that  his  plans  are  likely  to  succeed.  The 
only  difference  between  him  and  other  men  is,  that  he — know- 
ing himself  that  his  plans  are  his  own  inventions,  or  the  in- 
ventions of  the  leaders — gives  out  that  they  come  direct  from 
God,  thereby  deceiving  the  ignorant,  innocent,  and  confiding 
people  ;  and  when  his  plans  fail,  as  they  often  do,  he  never 
confesses  that  he  is  wrong  or  mistaken,  but  lays  all  the  blame 
on  some  other  person,  or,  failing  that,  on  "  the  Lord  "  or  the 
devil.  Other  men,  as  a  rule,  say  nothing  about  the  "Lord"  or 
devil,  but  when  their  experiments  fail,  they  frankly  confess 
that  they  themselves  were  not  inspired,  but  were  liable  to  err. 
That  is  all  the  difference. 

In  the  present  instance  Brigham  Young  tried  an  experi- 
ment upon  a  rather  large  scale. 

Up  to  the  year  1856,  the  Mormon  emigrants  made  the 
journey  from  the  Frontiers  across  the  Plains  by  ox-teams,  as 
I  have  already  described,  and  every  season  some  of  the 
wealthier  Mormons  formed  themselves  into  an  independent 
company,  paid  their  own  expenses,  and  travelled  with  more 
comfort.  The  expense  to  the  poorer  emigrants  was  very 
small,  for  they  performed  the  greater  part  of  the  journey  on 
foot — the  ox-teams  being  used  for  transporting  provisions  and 
baggage — one  hundred  pounds  of  the  latter  being  allowed  to 
each  emigrant. 


This  "plan"  was,  so  far,  a  success,  and  the  settlements  of  the 
Saints  increased  thereby  slowly  but  surely,  in  population  and 
wealth.  There  were,  however,  at  that  time  thousands  of 
Saints  in  Europe  anxious  to  emigrate,  but  who  were  too  poor 
to  provide  the  small  sum  requisite  for  that  purpose.  During 
the  winter  of  1855,  this  difficulty  was  discussed  in  Conference 
by  Brigham  and  the  leading  men  in  Salt  Lake,  and  some  one 
suggested  what  was  afterwards  known  as  the  "  Hand-Cart 
Scheme."  The  idea  of  this  "scheme"  was  to  transfer  the 
people  from  Liverpool  to  the  Frontiers  in  the  cheapest  possi- 
ble way,  and  for  them  then  to  cross  the  Plains  with  light- 
made  hand-carts,  just  strong  enough  to  carry  the  fewest  possi- 
ble necessary  articles,  but  sufficiently  light  for  the  men, 
women,  and  even  young  girls,  to  draw  them. 

This  "plan"  would  not  perhaps  have  been  a  bad  one  if  it  had 
been  properly  carried  out,  and  if  Brigham  Young  had  seen, 
as  he  might  have  done,  that  suitable  preparations  were  made 
beforehand.  But  the  Hand-Cart  Emigration  Scheme  began 
with  a  lie  and  ended  in  ruin. 

The  confiding  Saints  were  told  that  "God"  had  specially  in- 
spired His  servant  Brigham  for  this  purpose,  and  the  scheme 
was  a  revelation  direct  from  on  high.  No  proper  measures 
were  taken  to  provide  for  the  emigrants — all  was  done  upon 
faith — faith  on  the  part  of  the  people  in  their — as  they  sup- 
posed— inspired  leaders  ;  deception  on  the  part  of  those  lead- 
ers towards  the  people,  whose  only  fault  was  that  they  trusted 
them  too  well. 

The  Millennial  Star  proclaimed  the  "plan"  to  the  Saints  in 
Europe,  and  so  great  -was  the  response  to  this  special  sum- 
mons that  in  that  year — 1856 — it  was  roughly  estimated  that 
no  fewer  than  five  or  six  thousand  Mormon  emigrants 
travelled  from  Liverpool  to  Salt  Lake  City.  It  was  the  first 
company  of  these  emigrants  that  Brother  Benton  alluded  to 
when  he  told  Mr.  Stenhouse  that  "  tlicy  "  were  expected  that 
night  or  the  next ;  but  in  those  days  emigrant  vessels  were  fre- 
quently delayed  by  adverse  winds  and  other  circumstances,  and 
no  one  could  calculate  upon  the  exact  time  of  their  arrival  in  port. 

194  SHE    PROMISED    TO    BECOME    HIS    WIFE. 

The  following  morning,  my  husband  when  he  returned  from 
the  Mormojt  office,  brought  with  him  a  letter  bearing  the  Eng- 
lish postmark  and  addressed  to  me  in  the  neat  unmistakeable 
handwriting  of  Mary  Burton.  I  had  been  waiting  and  watch- 
ing for  a  letter  from  her  ever  since  our  arrival ;  I  was  anxious 
to  hear  from  her,  and  I  hastily  tore  it  open,  so  impatient  was  I 
to  know  how  she  was  getting  on.  What  I  read  interested  me 
deeply,  though  it  did  not  surprise  me.  I  had  seen  Mary  many 
times  after  the  interview  which  I  have  already  related,  and 
our  conversations  and  discussions  were  to  us  of  all-absorbing 
interest ;  but  as  they  were  mostly  personal,  I  have  not  cared 
to  record  them  in  this  narrative.  To  tell  the  truth,  her  love 
affairs  with  Elder  Shrewsbury  occupied  more  and  more  the 
most  prominent  place  in  all  our  discussions.  His  enthusiasm 
was  perfectly  infectious.  As  long  as  Mary  absolutely  refused 
to  see  him,  her  love  for  him  and  her  faith  in  Mormonism  were 
anything  but  overpowering.  But  Elder  Shrewsbury  was  one 
of  those  peculiar  persons  who  have  a  sort  of  magnetic  charm 
about  them,  who  without  our  knowing  it,  or  even,  in  some 
instances,  contrary  to  our  will  and  reason,  enlist  all  our  sym- 
pathies and  leave  behind  them  an  impression  that  we  vainly 
try  to  efface.  He  only  wanted  opportunity  and  his  success 
was  sure. 

Opportunity  he  had  had  for  pressing  his  suit  with  Mary  and 
making  an  impression  upon  her  heart,  ever  since  the  day  when 
they  had  met  at  my  door,  and  had  taken  that  walk  together, 
as  Mary  said,  for  the  purpose  of  discussing  important  mat- 

Now  the  letter  which  I  received  opened  to  me  another 
chapter  in  Mary's  life  which,  without  the  gift  of  prophecy,  I 
might  have  easily  predicated.  Elder  Shrewsbury's  patience 
and  perseverance  met  with  their  due  reward,  and  Mary  at 
length  promised  to  become  his  wife  ; — but  fascinated  though 
she  was,  and  herself  almost  as  deeply  in  love  as  he  was,  she 
nevertheless  made  one  condition  which  showed  that  she  had 
not  entirely  lost  that  prudence  and  determination  which  she 
had  shown  in  the  early  days  of  their  courtship : — 


"  When  he  spoke  to  me  in  that  way, — you  know  how,  Sister  Stenhouse  " — she 
said  in  her  impulsive  way  : — "  How  could  I  persist  in  saying  No  to  him  ?"  It 
wasn't  in  my  heart  to  do  so.     I  didn't  say  "  Yes  "  in  so  many  words,  but  I  simply 

said  nothing,  and  he  took  my  silence  for  consent.     Then but  no,  I  won't 

even  tell  you  everything I  know  he  thought 

he  was  going  to  have  it  all  his  own  way  ;  but  I  didn't  think  so.  I  told  him  then 
that  I  had  firmly  resolved  upon  one  thing — that  I  never  would  marry  him  unless 
he  made  a  solemn  vow  and  promise  before  God  that  he  would  never  enter  into 
Polygamy.  I  could  not  hide  from  him  that  I  loved  him — he  knew  it  and  could 
see  it  ;  but  I  said  I  nruer  would  go  to  Utah  alone,  and  I  certainly  never  would 
marry  at  the  risk  of  my  husband  taking  another  wife.  No ;  I  was  willing  to 
give  him  my  heart,  my  all — it  was  only  fair  for  him  to  do  the  same  by  me.  .  . 
.  .  .  He  was  very  near  me  then;  and  my  hand  was  in  his;  and  he  was  looking 
up  into  my  eyes.  Then  he  whispered  the  promise  I  had  asked  of  him,  and,  dear 
Sister  Stenhouse,  I  ktimv  I  can  depend  upon  his  word.  We  shall  be  happier  in 
this  world  by  ourselves,  and  we  feel  quite  sure  that  God  will  not  ask  us  to  do 
anything  in  heaven  that  would  make  us  miserable.  Perhaps  I  oughtn't  to  say 
this,  but  I'm  so  happy  that  I  cannot  allow  myself  one  single  wretched  doubt 
about  the  future  or  my  husband,  such  as  I  used  to  have 

We  were  married  on  the  27th  of  January. 

"  And  now  we  are  getting  ready  for  Zion,  and  are  busy  day  and  night  Of 
course  you  have  heard  of  the  "  Divine  Plan  " — the  Hand-Cart  Scheme.  Oh, 
Sister  Stenhouse,  I  am  so  very,  very  much  ashamed  of  myself  for  all  the  wicked 
things  that  I  used  to  say  about  the  Apostles  and  the  Elders.  Since  our  mar- 
riage, Elder  Shrewsbury  has  explained  everything  to  me  and  set  things  in  their 
right  light.  It  is  a  glorious  privilege  for  us  to  be  permitted  to  gather  to  Zion, 
and  now  that  I  know  my  dear  husband  will  never  even  think  of  another  besides 
myself,  I  glory  in  the  thought  of  leaving  the  Gentile  world  and  all  its 
•         ••••  ..•••••••  ,ff 

We  go  with  the  first  company  this  season. 

I  will  tell  you  all  the  rest  of  the  news  when  I  meet  you,  dear  " 

So  Mary  Burton  was  married,  and  coming  with  the  Hand- 
Cart  Company.  "  Why,"  I  said,  turning  to  my  husband  "  they'll 
be  here  in  a  day  or  two  now." 

"  Perhaps  to-day,"  he  replied. 

They  did  not,  however,  arrive  either  that  day  or  the  next ; 
but  towards  the  end  of  the  week  we  were  told  that  their  ves- 
sel was  in  the  river,  and  I  accompanied  my  husband  to  Castle 
Gardens  to  see  them. 

A  strange  spectacle  was  presented  to  our  view.  More  than 
six  hundred  Mormon  emigrants  were  gathered  there,  all  on 

196  WE    MET    AT    CASTLE    GARDENS. 

their  way  to  Zion,  and  burning  with  zeal  and  enthusiasm  wor- 
thy of  a  better  cause.  There  were  aged  men  and  women, 
whose  heads  were  lioary  witli  the  snows  of  many  a  winter,  and 
whose  tottering  steps  had  borne  them  to  the  verge  of  three 
score  years  and  ten  ;  there  were  stout-hearted  fathers  of 
families,  and  matrons  with  sons  and  daughters  growing  up 
around  them  ;  there  were  young  men  in  the  pride  and  strength 
of  manhood ;  and  maidens  in  the  modest  blush  of  womanly 
beauty;  and  little  toddling  children,  and  babes  in  their  mother's 
arms — all  obedient  to  what  they  thought  was  the  command  of 
God  Himself — all  with  their  faces  set  steadfastly  and  anxiously 

Let  not  the  reader  smile  at  the  blind  infatuation  of  those 
poor  emigrants.  Would  he  or  she  have  suffered  so  confid- 
ingly— so  faithfully — for  his  or  her  religion  .'*  They  might  be 
mistaken ;  but  truly  theirs  was  a  faith  which  "hoped  all  things, 
believed  all  things,  endured  all  things."  Surely,  in  His  sight — 
who  judges  the  heart — the  blind  obedience  of  those  men  and 
women  who  were  ready  to  suffer  and  to  endure  unto  the 
bitter  end,  because  in  their  child-like  faith  they  thought  it  was 
His  holy  wall — such  practical  devotion  was  more  truly  accept- 
able than  the  formal  professions  of  an  untested  faith  which  or- 
thodox professors  are  so  ready  to  make. 

I  met  at  Castle  Gardens  many  whom  I  had  known  in  the 
old  country ;  but  it  was  one  particular  face  which  I  was  anx- 
ious to  see.  A  man  wrapped  in  a  thick  great-coat,  and  with  a 
fur  cap  upon  his  head,  brushed  against  me ;  and  before  I  had 
time  to  raise  my  eyes,  my  hand  was  grasped  in  his,  and  I  heard 
Mary's  husband  say  "  Oh  Sister  Stenhouse,  I'm  so  glad  to  see 
you  :  I  knew  we  should  meet  you  in  New  York.  Come  and 
see  Mary.     She's  my  Mary  now !  " 

I  went  with  Elder  Shrewsbury  and  I  saw  Mary.  But  oh, 
how  greatly  was  she  changed  !  When  I  returned  from  our 
Swiss  mission  and  saw  her,  after  an  interval  of  several  years, 
I  was,  of  course,  struck  with  the  alteration  which  had  then 
transformed  her  from  a  pretty  little  fairy-like  girl  into  a  decor- 
ous young  lady  contemplating  matrimony  ;  but  although  I  had 


now  been  absent  from  England  only  a  few  months,  I  observed 
a  much  more  striking  alteration  in  her  than  on  the  previous 
occasion.  It  was  not  now,  I  thought,  so  much  an  outward  and 
personal  change,  as  a  new  development  of  her  inner  con- 
sciousness— her  soul  itself.  Her  form  was  as  graceful,  and 
her  eyes  as  bright  as  ever  ;  but  from  those  eyes  there  now 
shone  forth  another  light  than  that  which  I  had  thought  so 
charming  in  the  by-gone  time. 

Her  affection  for  me  was  as  warm  and  demonstrative  as 
when  we  first  met : — She  recognised  me  in  a  moment,  before 
her  husband  had  time  to  say  a  word  ;  and,  throwing  both  her 
arms  round  me,  she  kissed  me  again  and  again  with  all  the 
effusion  of  her  childish  days.  Taking  my  hand  she  led  me 
gently  into  a  quiet  corner  and  seated  me  beside  her  upon  a  big 
trunk,  and  then  she  began  to  talk.  It  was  the  same,  soft 
sweet  voice  again,  which  used  to  be  so  dear  to  me  when  I  was 
left  all  alone  in  Southampton,  soon  after  my  marriage,  while 
my  husband  was  on  mission  in  Italy. 

She  told  me  all  the  story  of  her  courtship — all,  and  much 
more  than  she  had  told  me  in  her  letter.  But  it  was  when  she 
came  to  speak  of  her  marriage,  of  her  husband,  and  especially 
of  their  pilgrimage  to  Utah  that  I  observed  more  especially 
the  change  which  had  taken  place  in  her.  She  was  no  longer 
the  light-hearted  girl,  half-doubting  her  strange  religion,  and 
rejecting  it  altogether  when  it  did  not  coincide  with  her  own 
ideas  and  wishes.  No  :  Elder  Shrewsbury — had  he  been  ten 
times  a  Mormon  Elder — could  not  have  wished  for  a  more  obe- 
dient, a  more  earnest,  I  might  say — a  more  fanatical  believer 
than  was  now  to  be  found  in  his  young  and  beautiful  wife. 
Her  eyes  really  glowed  with  enthusiasm  as  she  spoke  of  "the 
work  of  the  Lord"  and  of  "gathering  to  Zion ;"  and  her  voice, 
though  soft  and  sweet  as  ever,  had  in  it,  now  and  then,  a  tinge 
of  sternness  which  told  of  a  determination  and  spirit  which 
the  casual  observer  would  never  have  suspected. 

I  expressed  some  surprise  that  she  and  her  husband,  not 
being  without  funds,  should  have  gone  with  the  Hand-Cart 
Company  when  they  might  have  waited  and  have  gone  with 

198  A    MATTER    OF    FAITH. 

SO  much  more  comfort  with  one  of  the  independent  com- 

".Why,  Sister  Stenhouse,"  she  said,  "  We  have  done  it  as  a 
matter  of  faith.  Certainly  we  could  have  afforded  to  go  in 
any  way  we  chose,  but  my  husband  said  we  ought  to  be  an 
example  to  the  poorer  saints  ;  so  we  gave  away  nearly  all  our 
money  to  help  the  emigration  fund,  and  then  we  came,  just  as 
you  see  us,  along  with  the  rest." 

"  But  the  danger  and  discomfort  is  so  great,"  I  suggested. 
"Surely  the  Lord  does  not  want  us  to  sacrifice  ourselves  when 
no  one  is  benefitted  by  it .-'" 

"  Not  a  bit,"  said  she,  "  there's  no  danger.  Sister  Stenhouse, 
and  if  there  were  it  would  only  please  me  all  the  more.  As 
for  discomfort,  why  we  should  have  had  that  any  way,  and  we 
both  glory  in  making  sacrifices.  Besides  which,  we  have  been 
told  by  the  Apostle  that  this  will  be  the  most  pleasant  and 
successful  journey  across  the  plains  that  has  ever  been 

"  I  am  a  little  doubtful  of  the  promises  of  Apostles  and 
Elders,"  I  said,  "  and  I  remember,  Mary,  when  you  used  to 
agree  with  me." 

"  I  know  I  did,"  she  answered,  "  but  Brother  Shrewsbury 
has  shown  me  how  wrong  I  was — I  never  doubt  nozv.  But  I 
think  you  have  a  wrong  notion  about  this  hand-cart  scheme. 
It  is  not  an  ordinary  plan  such  as  any  man  might  have  made. 
God  Himself  revealed  this  plan  to  Brigham,  and  in  fact  we 
zall  it  *  the  divine  plan '  in  our  songs.  Oh,  you  should  hear 
our  songs !  They're  a  little  rough,  but  the  singing  is  so 
earnest  and  the  voices  of  the  men  and  girls  blend  so  well 
together  that  I  know  you'd  like  them.  There's  only  one 
thing  that  I  don't  like  about  this  plan,  and  that  I  daresay  is 
all  right  if  only  I  knew  it." 

"  I  think,  Mary,"  I  said,  "  I  could  tell  you  a  good  deal  that 
you  wouldn't  like  if  you  knew  it." 

"  No,  dear,"  she  replied  hastily,  as  if  afraid  to  hear  me, 
'don't  tell  me  unpleasant  matters.  I'll  tell  you  all  I  meant. 
The   Prophet  and   Heber  C.   Kimball,  and   Jedediah    Grant 


counselled  the  richer  emigrants  to  give  as  much  as  they  could 
— all  their  property,  if  they  had  faith  enough — to  help  the 
poor  brethren  to  emigrate ;  but  the  American  Elders  had 
private  instructions — so  Brother  Shrewsbury  told  me — to  use 
the  money  to  help  out  all  the  unmarried  girls  who  are  willing 
to  go.  I  confess  that  this  troubled  me  not  a  little ;  but  my 
husband  says  that  when  we  get  to  Zion  we  shall  find  all  will 
be  right,  and  of  course  I  believe  him." 

Mary's  conversation  puzzled  me  a  good  deal  at  the  time. 
She  had  formerly  been  so  clear-sighted  and  so  unbiassed  by 
prejudice,  and  now  she  seemed  ready  to  believe  anything. 
All  her  husband's  enthusiasm  was  now  her  own  ;  she  saw 
with  his  eyes,  and  in  the  intensity  of  her  love  for  him  she 
believed  all  that  he  accepted  as  true.  Long  after,  when  I 
thought  of  that  short  interview,  I  called  to  mind  her  impulsive 
earnestness,  and  I  felt  that  a  secret  misgiving,  unconsciously 
to  herself,  was  partly  the  cause  of  it.  Unknown  to  herself 
her  excess  of  zeal  was  the  offspring  of  doubt. 

Life  in  the  future  was  in  anticipation  to  my  poor  friend  one 
long  day  of  hope  and  happiness.  She  could  not  see  the 
shadow  of  a  cloud — no  coming  sorrow  darkened  her  way. 
Zion,  to  her  excited  imagination,  was  the  abode  of  peace,  and 
sanctity,  and  unchanging  joy. 

I  asked  her  whether  the  Saints  in  England  had  heard  any 
of  those  strange  reports  about  Brigham  Young  defying  the 
Government,  which  had  attracted  so  much  attention  in  this 

"Certainly,"  she  said,  "it  is  because  the  day  is  so  very 
near  when  all  intercourse  between  God's  people  and  the 
Gentile  world  shall  be  cut  off  for  ever  that  these  great  efforts 
are  being  made  to  gather  the  Saints  to  Zion.  Of  course  you 
know  this,  but  I  don't  think  you  know  all.  Why,  at  the  last 
general  conference  in  Liverpool,  the  president  had  instruc- 
tions from  Salt  Lake  to  propose  Brigham  Young  as  'prophet, 
seer,  revelator,  and  King!'" 

"King?"  I  said,  "How  can  President  Young  ever  be 
'kin^.?'     Utah  is  part  of    the  territory  of  the    States,  and 


under  their  jurisdiction  ;  it  is  not  even  a  State  itself  yet,  and 
Congress  has  refused  to  sanction  the  name  of  Descrct.  This 
country  will  never  suffer  a  kingdom  to  be  set  up  in  Utah  ; 
you  must  be  misinformed,  Sister  Mary." 

"  No,  Sister  Stenhouse,"  she  exclaimed,  "  I  am  under  no 
mistake.  My  husband  assured  me  that  the  conference 
accepted  the  proposition,  and  that  it  was  received  unanimously. 
The  Saints  are  gathering  in  from  all  parts  of  the  world,  and 
when  war  is  declared  they  will  not  be  found  unprepared. 
Why,  here  on  board  with  us,  the  American  Elders  are  all 
provided  with  swords  and  revolvers  of  the  very  best  make 
that  could  be  got  for  love  or  money,  and  I  myself  have  heard 
them  say  that  Brigham  Young  intends  shortly  to  declare  his 
independence  of  the  United  States.  We  didn't  know  this 
before  we  left  England,  but  we  felt  sure  that  he  had  some 
great  purpose  in  view  which  had  been  revealed  to  him." 

"  Before  we  left,"  I  said,  "  the  Saints  were  all  eager  to 

"  Yes,  dear,"  she  answered,  "  but  nothing  like  they  are  now. 
You  have  no  idea  how  excited  and  anxious  everybody  is. 
Some  of  the  people,  in  order  to  obey  counsel,  sold  their 
watches  and  jewelry,  and  even  their  best  clothes,  scarcely 
keeping  enough  for  the  journey,  and  every  one  who  had  any 
money  gave  it  away.  Brigham  Young  set  a  noble  example  in 
that ;  even  the  Gentiles  would  admire  him  if  they  knew  alL 
Why,  we  had  on  boarxl  ship  with  us  Brother  Tenant,  the  rich, 
new  convert  who  paid  thirty  thousand  dollars  for  the  property 
which  Brigham  Young  so  generously  gave  to  help  the  Emi- 
gration Fund.  He  hardly  had  enough  left  to  carry  him  and 
his  family  to  Zion  ;  and  now  he  is  going  to  cross  the  Plains 
-with  us,  to  settle  in  Salt  Lake  City.  He  is  somewhere  here 
among  the  emigrants,  I  believe,  at  the  present  moment,  and 
you  could  ask  him  all  about  it  if  you  liked.  The  brethren 
assure  him  that  Brother  Brigham  is  so  liberal  that  he  will  get 
vastly  more  than  the  value  of  his  thirty  thousand  dollars  when 
he  reaches  Zion,  and  I  hope  he  will,  for  I  like  both  him  and 
his  wife." 

PARTING    WITH    AN    OLD    FRIEND,  201 

All  this  was  thus  far  true,  but  it  was  with  some  misgivings 
that  I  heard  Mary  talk  about  it.  Still  I  tried  to  persuade 
myself  that  it  was  a  sin  to  doubt.  How  little  did  either  of  us 
imagine  that  after  poor  Mr.  Tenant's  miserable  death  upon 
the  Plains  we  should  live  to  see  his  wife — destitute  and 
defrauded  of  her  property  by  generous-hearted  Brigham — 
dragging  out  a  miserable  existence  in  Zion,  and  dependent 
even  for  a  crust  of  bread  upon  the  kindness  of  the  brethren. 
And  yet,  as  I  previously  stated  in  another  place,  this  was 
how  the  Prophet,  under  the  mask  of  liberality,  contrived,  for 
his  own  purposes,  to  cheat  this  unfortunate  and  too-confiding 

Then  we  talked  of  what  more  nearly  interested  ourselves, 
and  Mary  asked  me  when  Mr.  Stenhouse  and  myself  were 
coming  out.  I  told  her  that  it  was  quite  uncertain,  but  that 
we  expected  to  before  long.  "  At  any  rate  you  will  come  out 
before  the  season  is  over,"  she  said. 

"  Most  likely  so,"  I  replied,  "  but  you  will  be  safely  there 
and  settled  before  we  arrive." 

How  little  did  she  imagine  the  fearful  scenes  she  was  to 
witness — the  terrible  sufferings  she  was  to  endure  before  the 
season  she  spoke  of  had  passed  away.  Could  I  at  that  time 
have  known  all,  I  would  have  prayed  that  sooner  than  set  out 
on  that  fearful  journey  she  might  find  refuge  in  the  grave 
from  the  horrors  which,  unknown  to  her,  were  brooding  over 
her  way. 

We  talked  long,  and  then  my  husband  joined  us — Elder 
Shrewsbury  was  called  away  by  some  necessary  duty — and 
when  we  parted  it  was  with  many  promises  to  write  frequently 
to  each  other  of  our  common  religious  interests,  as  well  as  the 
welfare  of  ourselves  and  those  we  loved.  Then  I  spoke  with 
several  other  old  friends,  and  we  exchanged  greetings  with  all 
sorts  of  people,  for  my  husband  wherever  he  goes  is  always 
sure  to  be  upon  speaking  terms  with  almost  everybody  he 

The  Hand-Cart  Company  left  New  York  for  Utah — a  long 
and  formidable  journey  at  best — but  in  that  instance,  through 



mismanagement  and  neglect,  one  of  the  most  fatal  expeditions 
that  imprudent  man  has  ever  undertaken  ;  and  it  was  not 
until  months  and  months  had  passed  away,  and  another 
season  had  come  round  that  we  heard  anything  of  their  fate. 

And  time  went  on,  but  my  troubles  did  not  lighten.  My 
husband  still  continued  to  work  at  the  Jllonnou  office,  and 
after  a  while  his  salary  was  slightly  increased  from  time  to 
time  ;  but  still  his  earnings  were  altogether  inadequate  for  the 
support  of  a  family,  and  I  found  it  absolutely  necessary  to 
obtain  some  employment  for  myself.  It  cost  me  many  a  long 
and  weary  day  of  search  and  enquiry,  and  many  a  battle  with 
my  pride  before  I  could  get  anything  to  do,  but  at  last  I  was 
successful,  and  although  my  little  ones  required  constant 
attention,  I  contrived  to  add  a  very  decent  quota  to  the 
scanty  family  purse. 

And  thus  matters  continued  until  the  following  year — our 
life  of  uncertainty  and  care  unchanged.  Little  in  my  life  at 
that  time  is  worth  recording :  to  me  it  was  one  long,  painful 
struggle,  and  any  change  which  could  come,  I  felt  must  be 
for  the  better.  My  experience  of  Mormonism  was  of  course 
enlarged  as  new  facts  presented  themselves  to  my  observation, 
and  by  nothing  was  my  faith  so  much  shaken  as  by  the  dis- 
crepancies between  the  written  and  spoken  Mormonism  which 
was  presented  with  fair  face  to  the  Pau'opean  Saints  and  the 
world  at  large,  and  the  actual  conduct  of  the  Elders. 

From  the  first  moment  when  Polygamy  was  announced, 
the  leaders  had  strictly  forbidden  the  missionaries  to  enter 
into  any  alliances  with  the  sisters  abroad,  or  to  make  any 
proposals  of  marriage  to  them,  or  to  enter  into  any  matri- 
monial covenants.  In  the  language  of  Heber  C.  Kimball — 
Brigham's  first  counsellor — they  were  "  not  to  pick  out  from 
the  flock  the  young,  fair,  and  tender  lambs,"  but  were  to 
bring  them  all  safely  home  to  Zion. 

This  counsel  was  all  very  well,  for  it  tended  to  keep  the 
Elders  out  of  mischief,  and  afforded  an  opportunity  to  the 
brethren  at  home  to  select  more,  and  more  youthful  wives 
from  the  fair  converts  who  were  frathered  in  to  Zion.     But 

A    RUNAWAY    W|FE.  203 

the  missionaries  found  it  very  irksome  to  obey  this  counsel, 
and  in  point  of  fact,  those  who  did  so  formed  a  very  small 

One  of  the  Missionaries  who  had  just  returned  from  Europe 
came  one  day  to  our  house  in  Nev/  York,  and  brought  a 
youthful  sister  with  him.  He  was  by  no  means  a  handsome 
man  or  prepossessing  in  his  appearance,  but  I  saw  at  once 
that  he  had  succeeded  in  obtaining  considerable  influence 
over  the  young  sister's  mind.  He  said  she  was  not  very 
happy,  and  he  wanted  her  to  stay  with  some  respectable 
family  for  a  week  or  two  until  they  set  out  for  Utah,  and  I 
agreed  that  she  should  stay  with  us. 

She  began  to  play  with  the  children,  and  took  one  of  them 
in  her  arms  in  a  way  which  attracted  my  attention,  for  I 
noticed  that  tears  were  in  her  eyes,  and  she  excited  my  sym- 
pathy. I  asked  her  as  gently  and  as  delicately  as  I  could 
what  was  the  matter  with  her,  and  what  her  sorrow  was,  and 
she  told  me  that  she  herself  had  two  little  ones  at  home  and 
was  wretched  at  being  parted  from  them.  She  had  obeyed 
counsel,  and  had  left  her  husband  and  a  happy  home  to  go  to 
Zion.  She  loved  them  all  dearly,  but  deluded  by  false  teach- 
ings, and  promises  that  she  should  soon  have  her  children 
again,  she  had  stolen  away  and  left  them  all. 

I  reasoned  with  her,  tried  to  make  her  see  how  wrongly 
she  had  acted,  and  persuaded  her  to  return  to  her  husband 
and  seek  his  forgiveness.  No  ;  it  was  all  in  vain.  The  sal- 
vation of  her  soul  she  thought  was  beyond  all  earthly  con- 
siderations ;  she  must  stifle  the  suggestions  of  her  heart 
within  her  ;  she  must  hasten  to  Zion.  Thus  she  left  me,  and 
like  many  another  victim,  I  never  expected  to  see  her  again. 

One  morning,  a  few  months  later,  I  was  astonished  to 
receive  a  visit  from  her.  After  expressing  my  pleasure  at 
seeing  her  once  more,  she  told  me  that  what  I  said  had  so 
impressed  her  that  when  the  emigrants  had  arrived  at  St. 
Louis  she  had  refused  to  proceed  any  further  on  the  journey, 
had  written  to  her  husband,  had  made  all  right  with  him,  and 
was  now  on  her  way  back  to  her  home  in  England. 


My  story  is  so  full  of  painful  reminiscences,  that  it  is  with 
pleasure  that  I  record  this  incident — one  of  the  rare  cases 
in  which  folly  was  not  succeeded  by  utter  ruin  and  misery. 
Alas,  how  many  instances  I  might  mention,  which  fell 
beneath  my  own  personal  observation,  of  wives  and  mothers 
led  away  by  the  delusive  doctrines  which  they  mistook  for 
inspiration,  and  who  sought  vainly,  through  years  of  misery, 
for  peace  and  rest,  until  at  length  they  found  it  in  the  dark- 
ness of  the  tomb. 

Towards  the  end  of  the  year  1857,  the  difificulties  in  Utah, 
and  a  financial  panic  in  New  York,  resulted  in  the  discon- 
tinuance of  the  Mormon.  My  husband  was  thus  thrown  out 
of  employment,  and  to  add  to  our  difficulties,  the  people  for 
whom  I  worked  suspended  operations.  This  new  trial  of  our 
faith,  however,  was  not  long ;  out  of  apparent  evil,  good  came. 
Released  from  his  obligations  to  the  Apostle  and  the  Mormon 
paper,  my  husband  now  set  earnestly  to  work  to  obtain  a 
living  without  the  crippling  influences  of  "counsel"  or  the 
dictates  of  those  whom  his  religion  taught  him  to  respect. 

I  had  always  believed  that  if  suffered  to  act  for  himself,  his 
energy  was  such  that  he  would  certainly  carve  his  way  to  a 
respectable  position  in  the  world.  In  this  I  was  not  deceived, 
either  at  the  time  of  which  I  speak  or  at  a  later  period  when 
in  Salt  Lake  City  he  engaged  in  active  business  on  his  own 
account.  In  New  York,  where  he  had  been,  by  this  time,  ap- 
pointed President  of  the  Eastern  Mission,  and  was  actively 
engaged  in  advocating  the  claims  of  the  Mormon  Church,  he 
so.ught  and  found  employment  on  the  staff  of  the  Herald,  and 
in  connection  with  other  daily  papers  ;  and  such  was  his  suc- 
cess, that  from  a  condition  of  misery  and  poverty  we  were  very 
soon  raised  to  a  position  of  comfort,  and  surrounded  by  every 
luxury  suitable  to  our  station  in  life ;  and  this  position  we  en- 
joyed until  called  upon  to  leave  all  and  journey  across  the 
Plains  to  Zion. 

Our  own  journey  to  Zion  was  postponed  for  a  while ;  but 
not  long  before  we  set  forth,  I  received  the  long-expected 
letter  which  Mary  Burton  had  promised  me ;  and  as  it  con- 

A    TERRIBLE    STORY.  205 

tains  a  vivid  picture  of  a  mode  of  transit — the  only  mode 
which  could  tJieii  be  used — across  the  Plains ;  and  shows  what 
people  were  forced  to  endure  so  recently  as  a  few  short  years 
ago,  I  shall  give  extracts  from  it  in  the  following  chapter  ;  for 
I  feel  sure  that  if  the  reader  did  not  peruse  the  story  in  the 
exact  words  of  my  unfortunate  friend,  he  never  would  believe 
that  in  this  country  and  in  our  own  times  such  a  terrible  trag- 
edy could  have  been  enacted. 




The  Hand-Cart  Emigration — Mary  Burton's  Story — Crossing  the  Plains — The 
Camp  at  Iowa  City — Shameful  Neglect  of  the  Church  Authorities — Making 
the  Hand-Carts — The  Outfit  of  the  Emigrants — On  the  Way — "  A  Day's 
March  Nearer  Home  " — Stout-hearted  Pilgrims — Travelling  through  Iowa — 
Showing  Kindness  to  the  Emigrants — Need  of  Help  and  Sympathy — Perils 
and  Privations  of  the  Journey — How  they  Suffered  Hunger,  and  Fainted  by 
the  Way — Very  Scanty  Rations — Distress  of  the  Women  and  Children  :  the 
Weak  and  the  Sickly — How  the  Church  "took  Care  "  of  the  Emigrants'  Money 
— Suffering  from  the  Heat — Arriving  at  Florence,  near  Omaha — How  a  Mass- 
meeting  was  Held — Taking  Counsel — A  Rash  and  Foolish  Decision — Offer- 
ing to  Swallow  a  Snow-Storm — Brave  Advice  of  Elder  Levi  Savage — "  Weak 
in  the  Faith  " — How  they  Continued  their  fatal  Pilgrimage — The  Camp  at 
Eventide — False  and  Dangerous  Security — The  Carts  Break  down — The 
Cattle  Stampede — On  Short  Allowance — Visitors  of  Importance  Arrive — 
Delusive  Prophecy  of  the  Apostles — How  they  took  the  Bread  of  the  Starving 
— Selfish  Conduct  of  Saintly  Leaders — Promises  of  Help. 

1  PROMISED  to  write  and  tell  you  all  about  our  journey 
across  the  Plains,  but  I  little  expected  to  have  such  a 
terrible  tale  to  tell. 

"  You  have  heard  so  much  of  the  journey  to  Salt  Lake  Val- 
ley that  you  know  pretty  well  how  we  must  have  travelled  to 
Iowa  City  where  it  was  necessary  that  we  should  wait  until 
the  whole  company  was  quite  ready  for  the  long  journey  which 
lay  before  us. 

"  Our  life  up  to  a  certain  point  was  much  the  same,  and  we 
met  with  the  same  difficulties  as  all  other  emigrants  who  had 
gone  before  us.     But  there  the  comparison  ends.     Privation, 


and  toil,  and  weariness,  and  not  infrequently  sickness  and 
death,  wore  out  many  of  the  companies  that  went  before  us, 
but  they  never  suffered  as  we  did.  It  is  utterly  impossible 
for  me  to  tell  you  all  that  we  went  through.  And  when  I 
finish  this  letter  and  lay  down  my  pen,  and  even  when  you 
read  the  fearful  story  of  my  own  experience  during  that  jour- 
ney, you  will  still  have  but  the  faintest  idea  of  the  horrors  and 
sufferings  which  we  endured. 

"  At  Iowa  City  we  found  nothing  prepared  for  us.  When 
we  left  Liverpool  we  were  told  that  hand-carts,  provisions,  and 
all  that  we  needed  should  be  provided  before  we  arrived.  If 
this  had  been  done  we  should  have  had  just  fairly  time 
enough  to  travel  over  the  Plains  and  reach  Salt  Lake  before 
the  terrible  cold  of  winter  set  in.  As  it  was,  everything  went 
wrong.  The  Elders  who  had  been  sent  out  before  us  to  buy 
tents  and  carts  and  all  that  we  wanted,  had  either  been 
unfortunate  or  very  careless,  for,  as  I  said,  when  we  ar- 
rived in  Iowa  City  not  the  slightest  preparation  had  been 

"  You  know  how  strong  my  faith  was  when  we  left  New 
York  and  how  Brother  Shrewsbury  and  myself  were  ready  to 
sacrifice  everything.  I  can  assure  }'ou  that  we  were  fully 
tested,  and  I  do  think  that  but  for  our  strong  faith,  not  a 
single  soul  of  all  that  company  would  have  survived  that 

"  Three  companies  had,  after  a  long  delay,  been  sent  out 
before  we  reached  Iowa  City.  As  it  was  then  early  in  the 
season  they  completed  their  journey  before  the  cold  of  winter 
set  in.  I  afterwards  heard  that  Brigham  Young  and  the  Eld- 
ers, when  they  saw  those  companies  arrive  safely  in  Salt  Lake 
City,  spoke  of  the  scheme  as  a  successful  experiment.  We  had 
been  taught  that  the  scheme  came  directly  from  heaven  and 
was  neither  speculation  nor  experiment,  and  when  I  heard 
that,  after  all,  the  Prophet  himself  spoke  of  it  as  a  matter 
of  doubtful  issue,  I  asked  myself — Wlio  then  can  we  be- 
lieve .-* 

"  We  waited  three  weeks  in   Iowa  Camp  while  they  were 


making  the  hand-carts.  They  were  very  lightly  made  and 
I  think  not  at  all  suitable  for  such  a  long  and  wearisome  jour- 
ney ;  and  being  so  hastily  put  together  and  most  of  the  wood 
unseasoned,  they  were  utterly  unfit  for  the  rough  work  for 
which  they  were  constructed.  Twenty  of  these  carts — one  to 
every  five — were  allowed  to  every  hundred  persons,  who  were 
also  allowed  five  good-sized  tents,  and  one  Chicago  wagon, 
with  three  yoke  of  oxen  to  transport  the  baggage  and  provis- 
ions. We  were  only  allowed  seventeen  pounds  of  bedding 
and  clothing  each,  which,  with  cooking  utensils,  &c.,  made  up 
about  one  hundred  pounds  to  each  cart,  and  that  was  quite  as 
much  as  the  cart  (itself  only  sixty  pounds  in  weight)  could 
carry.  You  can  see.  Sister  Stenhouse,  how  difficult  it  must 
have  been  out  of  every  hundred  persons — men,  women,  and 
children — to  find  twenty  who  were  strong  enough  to  pull  even 
such  frail  things  as  those  hand-carts  were.  The  married  men 
and  the  young  men  and  boys  did  the  best  they  could,  but  they 
could  do  no  more,  and  some  of  the  carts  were  drawn  by  young 
girls  alone. 

"  The  girls  and  women  who  had  no  husbands  used  to  oc- 
cupy a  tent  by  themselves  at  night,  but  in  the  other  tents, 
whole  families,  without  respect  to  age  or  sex,  together  with 
the  young  men  who  assisted  them  during  the  day,  used  to 
find  shelter.  This  you  will  see  at  once  was  exceedingly  in- 
convenient, but  we  had  no  choice,  and  we  had  been  so 
long  associated  and  had  suffered  so  much  together  that 
we  did  not  feel  it  as  much  as  we  otherwise  must  have 

"  What  weary  days  we  spent !  Hour  after  hour  went  by, 
mile  after  mile  we  walked,  and  never,  never  seemed  to  be  a 
step  the  further  on  our  way.  Sometimes  I  recalled  to  mind  a 
hymn  which  we  used  to  sing  at  Sunday  School,  when  I  was  a 
child — an  evening  hymn  in  which  we  returned  thanks  that  we 
were — 

'  A  day's  march  nearer  home.' 

"  But   day   after   day   went   by — wearily,    hopelessly — and 


when  each  night  came  on,  and,  tired  and    footsore,  we   lay- 
down  to  rest  we  seemed  no  nearer  to  our  home  in  Zion, 

"  Do  not  think,  Sister  Stenhouse,  that  we  gave  way  to 
despondency.  What  we  felt,  God  alone  knows  ;  but  our  poor 
weary  hearts  were  full  of  confiding  faith  in  Him,  and  we 
placed  undoubting  confidence  in  the  promises  and  prophecies 
which  we  had  received  through  His  chosen  servants.  The 
young  folks  were  light-hearted  and  gay,  and  with  all  the  en- 
thusiasm of  youth  they  pressed  on,  thinking  not  of  the  way 
but  only  of  the  end  ;  and  their  example  was  ,most  encour- 

"  My  husband  was  one  of  the  bravest  and  truest  of  all  that 
band.  He  drew  the  cart  which  we  shared  with  another  Elder 
and  his  wife  and  their  grown-up  daughter.  They  were  old 
people — I  mean  the  Elder  and  his  wife — and  the  daughter  was 
an  old  maid,  unpleasant,  thin,  and  sour,  and  too  feeble  to  do 
anything.  There  were  reasons  why  I  was  excused  from  tak- 
ing any  share  in  hard  work  ;  but  I  felt  as  zealous  as  the 
rest,  and  day  after  day  walked  beside  my  husband  thinking 
that,  if  nothing  more,  my  companionship  might  cheer  him. 
The  old  folks  walked  behind,  and  so  did  the  children,  but 
sometimes,  when  the  little  ones  -were  very  weary  indeed,  the 
parents  would  place  them  on  the  top  of  the  bedding  in  the 
hand-cart  and  give  them  a  lift.  But  some  of  the  elderly  peo- 
ple who  were  unused  to  walking  far,  and  whom  it  was  impos- 
sible to  carry,  suffered  a  great  deal  ;  and  sometimes  mothers 
with  children  at  their  breasts  would  trudge  on  mile  after  mile 
in  all  the  heat  and  dust  without  a  murmur  or  complaint 
until  they  almost  dropped  down  with  fatigue.  What  some  of 
those  poor  creatures  suffered,  no  words  could  tell. 

"The  sun  shone  down  upon  us  with  intense  heat  as  we  trav- 
elled through  Iowa,  and  the  people  from  the  farm-houses  and 
villages  came  out  to  see  us  and  wondered  at  our  rashness  in 
undertaking  such  a  journey.  They  were  very  kind  to  us  and 
came  and  visited  us  in  our  camps  and  offered  some  of  the  men 
work  and  good  wages  if  they  would  wait  there  instead  of  going 
on  to  Zion.     A  few  of  the  people  accepted  these  offers,  but 


the  Elders,  as  you  may  suppose,  watched  carefully  every  com- 
pany and  every  man  ;  and  in  the  evening,  when  meetings  for 
prayer  and  preaching  were  held,  we  were  earnestly  exhorted  to 
obedience,  and  the  sin  of  acting  upon  our  own  judgments  was 
set  forth  in  the  very  plainest  terms.  The  kindness  of  the 
Iowa  people,  however,  encouraged  us,  and  they  freely  gave 
to  those  who  most  needed  whatever  they  could  to  help  us  on 
our  way. 

"  And  we  needed  help  and  sympathy. 

"  Of  course,  with  only  one  wagon  to  carry  all  the  provisions 
for  a  hundred  persons,  besides  five  tents,  our  supply  of  food 
was  very  limited.  At  that  period  of  the  journey  the  grown- 
up people  were  allowed  ten  ounces  of  flour  a  day  and  a  little — 
and  but  a  very  little — coffee,  sugar,  rice,  and  bacon.  This 
was  a  very  scanty  allowance  for  people  who  all  day  long  had 
to  draw  the  hand-carts  or  to  trudge  mile  after  mile  in  all  that 
burning  heat  and  dust — but  we  never  complained.  Some  of 
the  men  ate  all  their  rations  at  breakfast^  and  went  without 
anything  more  until  the  next  morning,  unless  they  were  able 
to  beg  a  little  of  some  friendly  farmer  by  the  way.  The  little 
children  received  just  half  as  much  as  the  others.  With  a 
very  small  amount  of  management  this  inconvenience  might 
certainly  have  been  avoided,  for  provisions  of  all  sorts  were 
very  cheap  in  the  districts  through  which  we  passed.  Some 
of  the  more  thoughtful  Saints,  I  know,  felt  very  bitterly  the 
injustice  of  this,  for,  as  you  are  aware,  we  had  paid  all  our  ex- 
penses in  full — even  to  the  uttermost  farthing  ;  and  we  had 
been  promised  in  return  a  safe  and  sufficient  outfit  with  plenty 
of  provisions,  and  in  fact  all  that  was  necessary.  Had  we  been 
left  to  ourselves  we  should  of  course  have  provided  for  every 
contingency  ;  but  we  came  in  obedience  to  counsel  under  the 
direction  of  the  Church,  and  after  we  had  paid  for  everything  ; 
the  Church  even  "  took  care  "  of  our  money,  so  that  we  there- 
fore could  not  procure  necessaries  by  the  way,  as  otherwise 
we  might  have  done. 

"  Thus  wearily,  and  suffering  not  a  little  privation,  we 
travelled  all  through  Iowa  until  we  came   to    the    Missouri 

A    THOUSAND    MILES    ON    FOOT.  211 

river  and  encamped  at  Florence,  a  place  about  six  miles  north 
of  Omaha,  and  there  we  remained  about  a  week  preparing  for 
our  journey  across  the  Plains. 

"  It  was  the  middle  of  August  when  we  arrived  at  Florence, 
and  we  had  been  delayed  so  much  on  the  way  that  it  appeared 
to  many  of  the  more  experienced  that  it  would  now  be  the 
height  of  imprudence  fop  us  to  cross  the  Plains  at  that  season. 
With  old  people,  delicate  women,  and  little  children,  and  with- 
out carriages  of  any  sort — except  the  frail  hand-carts  that  car- 
ried our  bedding — it  would  be  a  weary  long  time,  before  we 
could  reach  Salt  Lake.  Every  step  must  be  trudged  on  foot, 
and  it  was  quite  impossible  that  we  could  walk  many  miles  a 
day,  while  there  was  before  us  a  journey  of  over  a  thou- 
sand. Some  of  the  Elders  proposed  that  we  should  settle 
where  we  were,  or  somewhere  near  by  until  the  following 
spring,  and  then  go  on  to  Zion  ;  but  others  who  were  more 
confident  urged  that  we  should  proceed  at  once.  The  Elders 
called  a  great  meeting  to  settle  the  matter,  at  which  we  were 
all  present. 

"  I  should  tell  you  that  when  we  first  started,  our  whole 
company  was  placed  under  the  guidance  of  Elder  James  G. 
Willie  as  captain  ;  and  we  were  again  sub-divided  into  five 
parties  of  about  one  hundred  each,  and  over  every  hundred 
was  placed  an  Elder  or  sub-captain.  The  first  hundred  was 
headed  by  Elder  Atwood,  the  second  by  Levi  Savage,  the 
third  by  William  Woodward,  the  fourth  by  John  Chislett,  and 
the  fifth  by  Elder  Ahmensen.  About  two  hundred  of  the 
people  were  Scotch  and  Scandinavians  ;  nearly  all  the  rest 
were  English.  All  were  assembled  at  the  meeting.  You 
know.  Sister  Stenhouse,  how  meetings  were  held  at  home. 
Well,  it  was  just  the  same  there.  We,  of  course,  had  nothing 
really  to  say — we  had  only  to  obey  counsel  and  sanction  the 
decision  of  the  leading  Elders.  I  used  to  feel  annoyed  rather 
at  that  sort  of  thing  in  London,  as  you  may  remember,  but 
now  when  life  and  death  depended  upon  the  wisdom  of  our 
decision,  with  all  my  faith,  I  felt  worse  than  annoyed,  wicked 
as  I  have  no  doubt  it  was  for  me  to  feel  so.     My  husband 


never  uttered  a  word,  but  I  know  he  felt  much  as  I  did,  and 
in  that  he  was  not  alone  among  the  Elders. 

"  We  had  neither  vote  nor  influence — the  elders  held  our 
destiny  in  their  hands.  In  all  our  company  there  were  only 
three  or  four  men  who  had  been  out  to  Salt  Lake  before,  and 
of  course  they  could  not  be  overlooked,  so  they  gave  their 
opinion  at  the  meeting.  They  must  have  fully  known  the 
dangers  and  difficulties  of  the  way,  and  what  hardships  must 
overtake  a  company  so  scantily  provided  for  as  was  ours,  if 
we  continued  our  journey.  But,  for  all  that,  they  not  only 
spoke  slightingly  of  the  danger  which  threatened  us,  but 
prophesied  in  the  name  of  the  Lord,  that  we  should  pass 
through  triumphantly  and  suffer  neither  loss  nor  harm. 

"  One  man  alone — Levi  Savage — dared  to  tell  the  truth. 
People  well-mounted,  or  even  with  good  ox-teams,  could  safely 
and  easily  make  the  journey,  he  said,  but  for  a  band  of  peo- 
ple like  ourselves,  with  aged  folks,  and  women,  and  little 
children,  to  attempt  it  so  late  was  little  short  of  madness. 
He  strongly  urged  that  we  should  take  up  our  quarters  there 
for  the  Winter,  when,  he  said,  as  soon  as  Spring  came  on,  we 
could  safely  and  successfully  perform  the  remainder  of  our 

"The  other  Elders  thought  that  he  was  weak  in  the  faith, 
and  plainly  told  him  so  ;  and  one  of  them  even  said  he'd  eat 
all  the  snow  that  fell  between  Florence  and  Salt  Lake  City. 
The  people,  of  course,  believed  without  question  what  they 
were  told  to  believe,  for  they  had  long  ago  made  up  their 
minds  that  the  leaders  were  inspired,  and  therefore  they  dared 
not  doubt  them,  and  the  prudent  counsel  of  Brother  Savage 
was  rejected  accordingly.  I  was  not  near  enough  to  hear  his 
words,  but  I  was  afterward  told  that  he  said :  *  What  I  have 
said,  I  know  is  the  truth  ;  but  as  you  are  counseled  to  go  for- 
ward, I  will  go  with  you  ;  I  will  work,  and  rest,  and  suffer 
with  you,  and,  if  God  wills  it  so,  I  will  also  die  with  you.* 
Never  was  man  more  faithful  to  his  word  than  was  Brother 
Savage,  and  often  after  that,  when  sickness,  and  weariness, 
and  cold,  and  hunger,  and  death,  overtook  us — as  he  had  fore- 



seen — he  never  for  one  moment  forgot  the  promise  which  he 
had  so  solemnly  made. 

"Then — the 'middle  of  August  being  passed — we  left  Flor- 
ence behind  us,  and  began  our  weary  journey  across  the 
Plains  in  much  the  same  fashion  as  we  had  already  travelled 
through  Iowa.  We  had,  however,  taken  in  fresh  provisions 
to  last  us  until  we  reached  Utah,  and  as  the  oxen  could  not 
draw  so  much  extra  weight,  one  sack,  weighing  about  a  hun- 
dred pounds,  was  placed  on  each  of  the  hand-carts,  in  addi- 
tion to  the  other  baggage.  This  was  a  severe  task  upon  the 
endurance  of  the  people,  but  most  of  them  bore  it  without  a 
murmur.  On  the  other  hand,  we  fared  a  little  better  in  the 
matter  of  provisions,  for  we  were  allowed  a  pound  of  flour  a 
day  each,  and  also,  occasionally,  a  little  fresh  beef,  and,  besides 
that,  each  hundred  had  three  or  four  milch  cows.  As  we 
continued  our  journey,  and  the  provisions  were  consumed,  the 
burdens  on  the  carts,  of  course,  grew  lighter. 

"  But  this  was  only  the  beginning  of  our  pilgrimage  : — the 
end  we  could  not  foresee.  Every  evening,  when  we  pitched 
our  tents,  we  endeavored  by  songs,  and  jests,  and  interesting 
stories,  to  beguile  the  tediousness  of  the  way.  The  clays  were 
not  quite  so  warm  now,  and  the  nights  were  more  chilly ;  but 
altogether  it  was  much  more  pleasant  travelling  than  it  was 
in  the  earlier  part  of  the  journey,  and  no  one  seemed  to 
remember  the  almost  prophetic  remonstrance  of  Brother 

"  Still  we  travelled  very  slowly,  for  the  carts  were  always 
breaking  down  ;  the  wheels  came  off,  and  we  had  nothing  to 
grease  them  with.  The  boxes  of  the  wheels  were  made  of 
unseasoned  wood,  and  the  heavy  pressure  upon  them,  and  the 
dust  that  got  into  them,  soon  wore  them  out.  Some  of  the 
people  cut  off  the  tops  of  their  boots  and  wrapped  them 
round  the  axles,  and  others  cut  up  their  tin  plates  and  kettles 
for  the  same  purpose,  and  for  grease  they  used  soap,  and  even 
their  pitiful  allowance  of  bacon.  But  as  the  days  passed,  and 
the  flour  began  to  be  used  up,  these  accidents  became  less 

2l6  VISITORS    TO    THE    CAMP. 

"  Upon  an  average,  they  said,  we  travelled  about  fifteen 
miles  a  day,  which  I  think  was  very  good.  Some  few  days  we 
even  made  a  little  over  twenty  miles,  but  they  were  balanced 
by  the  shortcomings.  We  tried  to  feel  happy  and  hopeful, 
and  even  the  aged  and  infirm  tried  to  make  light  of  their 
toil  and  privations,  for  we  did  not  yet  see  that  heavy  cloud 
which  was  looming  across  our  way.  I  frequently  talked  with 
the  old  and  weakly  among  the  people,  to  whom  both  my  hus- 
band and  myself  were  able  to  offer  little  kindnesses,  and  they 
all  sjooke  cheerfully  of  our  prospects.  Such  faith  had  they  in 
the  promises  of  the  Elders. 

"Just  before  we  reached  Wood  river,  vast  herds  of  buf- 
faloes appeared  in  our  vicinity,  and  one  evening  all  our  cattle 
stampeded,  and  the  men  had  to  go  in  search  of  them.  About 
thirty  were  lost,  and  after  hunting  after  them  for  three  days, 
we  gave  them  up.  We  had  only  one  yoke  of  oxen  now  for 
each  wagon,  and  as  the  wagons  were  loaded  each  with  three 
thousand  pounds  of  flour,  the  teams  could  not  move  them. 
So  they  yoked  up  the  beef-cattle,  and  cows,  and  heifers,  but 
they  were  unmanageable — and  at  last  we  were  obliged  again 
to  place  a  sack  of  flour  upon  each  hand-cart. 

"  This  sorely  tried  us  all.  Some  of  the  people  even  com- 
plained, but  the  greater  part  of  us  bore  up  bravely,  believing 
that  it  was  the  will  of  the  Lord.  We  still  had  faith  that  all 
would  yet  be  well.  This  was,  however,  a  hard  blow.  Our 
milch  cows  were  useless  to  us,  our  beef-rations  were  stopped, 
and  the  burdens  which  we  drew  were  doubled.  Every  one 
did  his  or  her  best,  but  many  of  us  began  to  be  disheartened, 
and  could  hardly  get  along. 

"  One  evening  there  was  quite  a  commotion  in  the  camp. 
We  had  pitched  our  tents  for  the  night  on  the  banks  of  the 
Platte  River,  I  think,  when  suddenly  quite  a  grand  turn-out  of 
carriages  and  light  wagons  came  up  from  the  east  and  joined 
us.  Each  carriage  was  drawn  by  four  horses,  and  the  outfits 
were  in  first-class  style.  Nothing  could  be  too  good  for 
Apostles  and  other  "  distinguished  "  servants  of  the  Lord.  I 
was  anxious  to  know  who  they  were,  but  was  not  long  in 


finding  out.  There  was  the  Apostle  FrankHn  Richards,  and 
Elders  Webb  and  Felt,  and  Joseph  A.  Young,  the  son  of  the 
Prophet,  and  Elders  Dunbar,  and  Kimball,  and  Grant — all 
returning  Missionaries.  They  stayed  with  us  all  night,  and 
in  the  morning  called  a  great  meeting,  and  the  Apostle  Rich- 
ards delivered  a  speech,  which  troubled  me  not  a  little,  and 
made  me  very  sorrowful. 

"  He  had  heard  of  what  Brother  Savage  had  said,  and  then 
and  there,  before  us  all,  he  rebuked  him.  He  then  exhorted 
us  to  remember  the  hope  set  before  us,  and  told  us  to  pray 
and  work  on,  and  especially  to  be  obedient  to  counsel ;  and  he 
finished  by  solemnly  prophesying,  in  the  name  of  the  God  of 
Israel,  that  the  Almighty  would  make  a  way  for  us  to  Zion, 
and  that  though  the  snow  might  fall  and  the  storm  rage  on 
the  right  hand  and  on  the  left,  not  a  hair  of  our  heads  should 

"Some  of  the  people  wept  with  joy  as  they  heard  these 
words.  My  own  heart  was  full.  To  me,  this  was  the  voice 
of  inspiration — the  voice  of  God — how  could  I  doubt  again  ? 

"  Sister  Stenhouse  ;  before  a  month  was  over,  I  saw  with 
my  own  eyes  that  prophecy,  those  promises,  falsified  to  the 
very  letter  ;  and  yet  at  the  time  they  came  to  me  and  to  all 
else  as  the  word  of  the  Lord  from  heaven.  Tell  me,  if  men 
can  thus  deceive  themselves — for  I  do  not  doubt  for  a  moment 
that  the  Apostle  believed  his  own  prophecy —  and  if  we  could 
be  so  sadly  deluded  as  to  believe  that  what  was  said  was 
divine,  what  surety  have  we  for  our  religion  at  all  ?  I  strive 
against  these  sinful  doubts,  but  they  zoi'//  sometimes  creep 
into  my  heart  unbidden. 

"  The  Apostle  and  the  Elders  with  him  told  Captain  Willie 
that  they  wanted  some  fresh  meat,  and  the  Elders  killed  and 
gave  them  of  our  very  best.  What  could  be  denied  to  the 
Servants  of  the  Lord  ?  We  were  then  more  than  four 
hundred  in  number — aged  men  and  feeble  women,  with  babes 
and  poor  little  children  too  young  to  walk ;  many  of  them 
infirm  and  sick,  all  of  them  footsore  and  weary.  We  were  far 
away  from  home,  travelling  slowly  hundreds  and  hundreds  of 

2l8  LEFT    ALONE. 

miles,  worn  out  and  without  sufficient  provisions  for  the  way 
or  the  remotest  chance  of  obtaining  any :  And  yet,  Oh  God ! 
I  shame  to  tell  it ;  these  servants  of  Heaven — our  leaders,  our 
guides,  our  example — these  chosen  vessels  who  came  to  us, 
riding  comfortably  and  at  ease  in  their  well-appointed  car- 
riages, took  of  our  poverty — took  the  very  best  we  had  ! 

"  As  they  left  the  camp,  I  looked  up  into  my  husband's 
face  and  our  eyes  met.  We  said  not  a  word,  but  in  our  hearts 
there  was  the  same  thought.  Sister  Stenhouse,  there  must 
have  been  that  selfsame  thought  in  the  mind  of  many  another 
poor  soul  who  watched  those  Elders  depart  after  they  had 
lectured  us  on  faith  and  patience  and  obedience ! 

"  They  crossed  the  river  pleasantly  enough,  and  pointed  out 
the  best  fording-place  and  then  they  watched  us  wade  through 
— the  water  there  being  nearly  a  mile  in  width,  and  in  some 
places  two  and  even  three  feet  in  depth — and  though  many  of 
the  heavy-laden  carts  were  drawn  by  women  and  girls,  they 
never  so  much  as  offered  to  lend  us  the  aid  of  their  handsome 
teams.  One  sister  told  me  that  they  watched  the  poor  people 
crossing,  through  glasses,  as  if  it  were  an  entertainment,  but 
I  did  not  see  that,  and  can  hardly  believe  it  was  true.  All 
that  they  did,  however,  was  to  promise  that  when  we  reached 
Laramie  we  should  find  provisions  and  bedding  and  other 
necessaries  ready  for  us,  and  that  they  would  send  help  from 
Salt  Lake  Valley  to  meet  us." 



The  Pilgrims  Arrive  at  Laramie — Disappointed  Hopes — A  Message  from  the 
Apostle  Richards — Help  Again  Promised — Fearful  Sufferings  and  Privations 
of  the  Emigrants — The  Frosts  of  Winter  Come  On — The  Storm-Clouds  are 
Gathering — Presentiments  of  Death — The  Night-Air  of  the  Wilderness — The 
Bitter  End — A  Wife's  Unchanging  Devotion — Death  in  the  Camp — Falling 
by  the  Way — A  Shocking  Incident — Faithful  Even  in  Death — The  Good 
Deeds  of  Elder  Chislett — How  Faith  Sustained  Them — Lost  in  the  Snow- 
Storm — Brigham  Young's  Tardy  Repentance — "Joseph  A."  Comes  to  the 
Rescue — In  the  Grasp  of  Death — Fearful  Position  of  a  Brave  Woman — The- 
Evil  Day  Comes  at  Last — A  Night  of  Horrors — Waiting  for  Assistance — The 
Finger  of  Death — The  Cry  of  the  Wolves— A  Scene  Too  Terrible  for  De-- 
scription— Who  Died  That  Night— "  God  Was  Near  Me  Then" — A  Change 
for  the  Better— Three  Anxious  Days — Light  at  Eventide — "  Help  Came  Too 
Late  for  Them" — The  Victims  of  Fanaticism — The  Remnant  that. Arrjvect— 
The  Conclusion  of  a  Terrible  Story. 

IT  was  early  in  September  when  we  reached  Laramie,  but 
we  found  nothing  awaiting  us  there.  We  were  all  very- 
much  discouraged  at  this,  and  Captain  Willie  called  another 
meeting  for  consultation.  We  knew,  of  course,  beforehand, 
that  our  position  was  very  bad,  but  figures  when  stated. plainly 
become  startling  facts.  We  now  learned  that  if  we  continued 
at  the  same  rate  as  that  which  we  had  previously  been  travel- 
ling, and  received  each  the  same  allowance  daily,  we  should 
be  left  utterly  destitute  of  provisions  when  we  were  yet  three 
hundred  and  fifty  miles  from  the  end  of.  our  journey.  Nothing^ 

220  THE    POST-OFFICE    IN    THE    DESERT. 

remained  but  to  reduce  our  allowance  ;  so,  instead  of  one 
pound,  we  were  rationed  at  three-quarters  of  a  pound  a  day, 
and,  at  the  same  time,  were  forced  to  make  incredible  exer- 
tions to  travel  faster. 

"  Not  long  after  this,  Captain  Willie  received  a  message 
from  the  Apostle  Richards.  It  is  the  custom,  you  know,  for 
people  who  want  to  send  messages  to  emigrants  who  come 
after  them,  to  write  a  note  on  a  scrap  of  paper  and  tie  it  to  a 
stone  or  a  piece  of  wood  and  leave  it  on  the  way.  No  one 
disturbs  it,  as  no  one  but  the  emigrants  travel  along  that 
road,  and  they  are  sure  to  find  it.  It  was  from  a  rough  post- 
office  like  this  that  Captain  Willie  got  his  letter.  In  it  the 
Apostle  told  him  that  we  should  receive  supplies  from  Salt 
Lake  when  we  reached  the  South  Pass  ;  but  that  we  knew 
would  be  too  late.  So  our  allowance  was  again  reduced,  and 
after  that  we  were  rationed  at  an  average  of  ten  ounces  for 
every  person  over  ten  years  of  age.  The  men  who  drew  the 
carts  received  twelve  ounces,  the  women  and  aged  men,  nine 
ounces,  and  the  children  from  four  to  eight  ounces  according 
to  age.  Before  this,  the  men  with  families  had  done  better 
than  the  single  men,  as  they  had  been  able  to  save  a  little 
from  the  children's  rations,  and  of  course  they  did  not  like 
this  new  arrangement  so  well. 

"  Picture  to  yourself  these  men — in  the  cool  air  of  Septem- 
ber, drawing  after  them  each  one  a  loaded  cart,  with  one  or 
more  children  most  frequently  superadded  to  its  weight, 
trudging  wearily  every  day,  ten,  fifteen,  or  twenty  miles  over 
the  rough  desert,  wading  across  streams  with  the  women  and 
children,  setting  up  tents  at  night,  working  as  they  never 
worked  before  in  all  their  lives,  and  withal  keeping  soul  and 
body  together  upon  twelve  ounces  of  flour  a  day.  This  is  but 
one  side  of  the  picture — the  physical  toil  and  endurance  of 
the  working  men.  Think  what  the  feeble  and  aged,  the  sick, 
the  women  and  children  must  have  endured  ! 

"By  this  time  many  of  those  who  had  hitherto  held  out 
bravely  began  to  fail,  and  the  people  in  general  were  greatly 
discouraged.     Captain    Willie  and  the    Elders  who   assisted 


him  did  their  best  to  keep  up  the  spirits  of  the  people  and  to 
get  them  over  as  much  ground  as  they  could  each  day.  The 
captains  over  the  hundreds  had  also  no  little  work  to  perform 
in  distributing  provisions,  helping  the  sick  and  infirm,  and,  in 
fact,  superintending  everything. 

"  For  some  time  the  nights  had  been  getting  colder  and 
colder,  and  by  the  time  we  arrived  at  the  Sweetwater  river 
we  suffered  considerably  from  that  cause  ;  we  felt  that  winter 
was  fast  approaching.  In  fact,  it  came  on  earlier  and  more 
severely  last  year  than  at  any  time  before,  since  the  Saints 
settled  in  Utah.  Does  it  not  seem  strange  that  at  the  very 
time  when  they  were  offering  up  special  prayers  for  us  in 
Zion,  that  we  might  be  defended  from  cold  and  storm,  the 
terrors  of  a  more  than  ordinary  winter  overtook  us  and 
proved  fatal  to  so  many  of  our  company !  The  mountains 
were  covered  with  snow,  and  it  was  soon  quite  evident,  even 
to  those  who  had  prophesied  most  loudly  that  the  Lord  would 
work  a  special  miracle  in  our  behalf,  that  the  storm-clouds  of 
winter  would  soon  burst  upon  us. 

"  You  have  never  seen  the  Sweetwater  river,  so  I  may  as 
well  tell  you  that  it  is  a  very  irregular  stream,  and  we  had  to 
cross  it  again  and  again  upon  our  way.  As  usual  we  had  to 
wade  through  the  water  each  time,  and  though  the  men 
helped  over  the  women  and  children  as  well  as  they  could, 
many  of  us  got  very  wet  indeed,  and  quite  chilled,  and  we 
were  all  cold  and  miserable.  Still,  our  faith  never  gave  way — 
some,  I  know,  began  to  doubt  a  little,  but  they  had  not  yet 
lost  all  faith,  and  discouraged  and  wretched,  as  indeed  we 
were,  the  greater  number  bore  up  with  heroic  resolution.  I 
noticed,  however,  on  the  faces  of  some  poor  souls — men  and 
women — a  peculiar  expression  which  it  is  quite  impossible  for 
me  to  describe.  Later  on  I  was  led  to  believe  that  at  that 
time  they,  perhaps  unconsciously,  felt  the  presentiment  of 
that  fearful  death  which  so  soon  overtook  them. 

"  We  suffered  much  at  night.  You  may  remember  that  I 
told  you  we  were  only  allowed  seventeen  pounds  of  clothing 
and  bedding,  and  that,  of  course,  was  of  little  use.     Sleeping 

222  THE    GRAVES    BY    THE    WAY-SIDE. 

in  a  tent,  under  any  circumstances,  is  not  generally  pleasant 
to  those  who  are  accustomed  to  the  shelter  of  a  house,  but 
sleeping  in  a  tent,  exposed  to  the  keen  night  air  of  the  wilder- 
ness, and  with  scarcely  a  rag  of  covering,  was  almost  suffi- 
cient to  prove  fatal  to  the  stoutest  and  strongest.  During 
the  summer  time,  although  our  fare  was  scanty  and  our  labor 
incessant,  we  rose  each  morning  refreshed  and  strengthened 
and  ready  for  the  toils  of  the  day.  But  now  we  crept  out  of 
our  tents  cramped  and  miserable,  half-frozen,  and  with  our 
eyes  red  and  tearful  with  the  cold.  We  seemed  to  have  no 
life  left  in  us. 

"  These  things  soon  began  to  tell  upon  the  health  of  every 
one  of  ivs,  especially  upon  the  aged  and  those  who  were  sickly. 
Hope  at  last  died  out  in  their  poor  weary  hearts.  One  by 
one  they  fell  off — utterly  worn  out.  Poor  things  !  how  they 
had  longed  to  see  the  promised  Zion,  and  now  all  expectation 
of  peaceful  rest  on  earth  was  over — the  bitter  end  had  come. 

"  We  dug  graves  for  them  by  the  wayside  in  the  desert,  and 
there  we  laid  them  with  many  tears,  scarcely  daring  to  look 
one  another  in  the  face,  for  we  felt  that  our  own  time  might 
perhaps  be  nearer  than  we  thought. 

"  One  by  one  at  first  they  fell  off,  but  before  long  the 
deaths  became  so  frequent  that  it  was  seldom  that  we  left  a 
camp-ground  without  burying  one  or  more.  This  was,  how- 
ever, only  the  beginning  of  evil. 

"  Soon  it  was  no  longer  the  aged  and  the  sickly  who  were 
taken  off,  but  the  young  and  strong,  who  under  other  circum- 
stances would  have  set  disease  and  death  at  defiance.  Cold, 
hunger,  and  excessive  toil  brought  on  dysentery,  and  when 
once  attacked  by  that,  there  was  little  hope  for  the  sufferer, 
for  we  had  no  medicine,  and  it  was  quite  out  of  our  power  to 
give  them  relief  in  any  other  way.  I  now  began  to  fear  for 
my  husband,  for  I  had  noticed  for  some  time  an  expression  of 
extreme  weariness  in  his  face.  Our  trials  had  not  hardened 
our  hearts  ;  on  the  contrary,  I  think,  as  death  seemed  to  be 
drawing  near,  our  affection  for  each  other  grew  more  pure  and 
devoted,  and  in  my  heart  I  often  prayed,  that  if  it  were  His 



will,  God  would  let  us  die  together  and  rest  in  the  same 
grave.  We  never  spoke  a  word  to  each  other  on  this  subject, 
but  we  felt  the  more.  I  e.xerted  all  my  strength,  and  day 
after  day  toiled  along  at  his  side,  helping  him  all  I  could  ; 
but  although  he  never  complained,  I  saw  in  his  eyes  a  dull 
and  heavy  look  which,  more  than  any  words,  told  of  failing 
strength  and  the  approach  of  disease,  and  my  heart  sank 
within  me. 

"  But  my  own  troubles  did  not  alone  engross  my  attention  ; 
there  was  too  much  wretchedness  around  us  to  allow  anyone 
to  be  absorbed  entirely  in  his  own  griefs.  Acts  of  devotion 
on  the  part  of  both  parents  and  children  came  before  me  daily 
such  as  would  have  put  to  shame  the  stories  of  filial  and 
parental  piety  which  we  used  to  be  taught  at  school. 

"  I  saw  one  poor  man  whose  health  had  evidently  never 
been  strong,  draw  the  cart  with  his  two  little  ones  in  it,  as 
well  as  the  baggage,  mile  after  mile,  until  he  could  hardly 
drag  his  weary  limbs  a  step  further  ;  his  wife  carried  a  little 
five  months  old  baby  in  her  bosom.  This  they  did  day  after 
day,  until  disease  attacked  the  husband,  and  it  was  evident 
that  he  could  bear  up  no  longer.  The  next  morning  I  saw 
him,  pale  as  a  corpse,  bowed  down,  and  shivering  in  every 
limb,  but  still  stumbling  on  as  b^st  he  could.  Before  the  day 
was  half  over,  the  poor  wife  lagged  behind  with  her  babe,  and 
the  husband  did  not  seem  to  notice  her.  This  was  not  the 
result  of  heartlessness  on  his  part ;  I  believe  that  even  then 
he  had  lost  all  consciousness.  He  did  not  know  it,  but  he 
was  dying.  Still  he  stumbled  on,  until  the  short  wintry  day 
came  to  a  close,  and  we  pitched  our  camp,  and  then  I  missed 
him.  There  was  no  time  to  enquire,  and  a  chill  came  over 
my  heart  as  I  thought  of  what  might  be  his  fate.  Presently 
my  husband  came  to  the  tent  and  told  me  all.  The  poor  man 
had  dragged  the  cart  up  to  the  last  moment,  and,  when  the 
company  halted  for  the  night,  he  had  turned  aside,  and  sitting 
down  he  bowed  his  head  between  his  knees  and  never  spoke 
again.  Later  still,  the  poor  wife  reached  the  camp,  and  I  saw 
her  then.     There  was  no  tear  in  her  eyes,  and  she  uttered 


neither  cry  nor  moan,  but  there  was  upon  her  features  a 
terrible  expression  of  fixed  despair  which  I  dared  not  even 
look  upon. 

A  few  days  after  this,  one  morning  as  we  were  almost 
ready  to  start,  I  saw  that  poor  mother  in  her  tent,  just  as  they 
had  found  her.  She  was  cold  and  still — frozen  to  death — 
her  sorrows  were  over  at  last,  and  her  poor  weary  spirit  was 
at  rest  ;  but  on  her  bosom,  still  clasped  in  her  arms,  and  still 
living,  was  her  little  child,  unconscious  of  its  mother's  fate. 

"  Most  of  those  who  died,  as  far  as  I  could  tell,  seemed  to 
pass  away  quietly  and  with  little  pain,  as  if  every  feeling  of 
the  heart  were  numbed  and  dead.  But  my  own  sufferings 
and  fears  at  that  time  were  so  great  that  I  could  not  be  a  very 
close  observer.  Strange  as  it  may  seem,  the  fear  of  death 
did  not  so  much  appear  to  terrify  these  poor  victims  as  the 
thought  that  their  bodies  would  be  buried  by  the  way-side  in 
the  desert,  instead  of  in  the  sacred  ground  of  Zion.  Poor 
souls  !  the  absorbing  passion  of  their  life  was  strong  in  death. 

"  As  death  thinned  our  ranks,  the  labors  of  those  who 
survived  were  increased,  until  at  last  there  were  hardly 
enough  left  with  strength  sufficient  to  pitch  our  tents  at 
night.  A  great  deal  devolved  upon  the  captain  of  our 
hundred.  Elder  Chislett.  He  is  a  very  good  man,  and  a 
devoted  Saint ;  and  I  am  glad  to  say  that  both  he  and  a  lady 
to  whom  he  was  betrothed,  and  who  was  also  with  our  com- 
pany, escaped  with  their  lives.  I  have  often  seen  him,  when 
we  stopped  for  the  night,  carrying  the  sick  and  feeble  on  his 
back  from  the  wagon  to  the  fire,  and  then  working  harder 
than  a  slave  would  work  in  putting  things  straight  for  the 
night.  He  showed  a  great  many  kindnesses  to  my  husband 
and  myself. 

"  But  individual  efforts  availed  nothing  against  fatigue  and 
hunger,  and  the  fearful  cold.  To  the  minds  of  all  of  us,  the 
end  was  fast  approaching.  Nothing  but  our  faith  sustained 
us  ;  and  foolish  as  many  people  would  think  that  faith,  I  am 
quite  sure,  that  but  for  it,  no  living  soul  of  all  our  company 
would  have  ever  reached  Salt  Lake. 


"At  last  the  storm  came,  and  the  snow  fell — I  think  it 
must  have  been  at  least  five  or  six  inches  deep  within  half  an 
hour.  The  wind  was  very  keen  and  cutting,  and  it  drifted 
the  snow  right  into  our  faces  ;  and  thus  blinded  by  the  storm, 
and  scarcely  able  to  stand,  we  stumbled  on  that  day  for  fully 
sixteen  miles.  What  we  suffered  it  would  be  useless  for  me 
to  attempt  to  describe.  The  scenes  we  witnessed  were  too 
terrible  to  describe. 

"There  was  a  young  girl,  with  whom  I  was  very  well 
acquainted,  and  who  I  saw  struggling  in  the  snow,  clinging 
to  one  of  the  hand-carts,  and  vainly  trying  to  help  in  pushing 
it  on,  but  really  doing  just  the  contrary.  She  is  now  in  Salt 
Lake  City,  and  you  can  see  her  wandering  about  any  day 
upon  the  stumps  of  her  knees,  her  limbs  downwards  having 
been  frozen  during  that  storm,  and  subsequently  amputated. 
A  poor  old  woman,  too,  who  I  think  you  must  have  known  in 
London,  lingered  behind  later  in  the  day.  When  night  came 
on  it  was  impossible  for  any  one  to  go  back  to  search  for  her, 
but,  in  the  morning,  not  very  far  from  the  camp,  some  torn 
rags— the  remains  of  her  dress — were  found,  a  few  bones,  a 
quantity  of  hair,  and  at  a  little  distance  a  female  skull,  well 
gnawed,  and  with  the  marks  of  the  wolf  fangs  still  wet  upon 
it ; — the  snow  all  round  was  crimsoned  with  blood. 

"We  halted  for  a  little  while  in  the  middle  of  that  day,  and 
to  our  surprise  and  joy,  Joseph  A.  Young  and  Elder  Stephen 
Taylor  drove  into  the  camp.  We  found  that  when  the 
returning  missionaries,  of  whom  I  have  already  told  you,  left 
us  by  the  Platte  river,  they  made  their  way  as  speedily  as 
they  could  to  Salt  Lake  City.  Joseph  A.,  who  felt  deeply  for 
our  sufferings,  although  he  had  been  away  from  home  for  two 
whole  years,  hastened  to  his  father  and  reported  to  him  the 
condition  in  which  we  were.  Brigham  Young  was  of  course 
anxious  to  undo  the  mischief  which  had  resulted  from  the 
people  following  his  inspired  counsel,  and  at  his  son's  earnest 
entreaty  allowed  him  to  return  with  provisions  and  clothing 
to  meet  us.  Joseph  A.  lost  no  time,  but  pressed  on  to  the 
rescue,  and  having  told  us  that  assistance  was  on  the  way. 

228  A  wife's  devotion  : THE  ONLY  CHANCE  FOR  LIFE. 

hastened  eastward  to  meet  the  company  that  was  following 

"  I  cannot  tell  you  what  a  relief  this  intelligence  was  to  the 
minds  of  all,  and  how  much  the  poor  people  felt  encouraged 
by  it.  But  as  for  me,  at  -that  time  my  heart  was  sad  enough. 
For  some  time  my  husband's  strength  had  evidently  been 
failing,  and  for  the  last  two  days  I  had  felt  very  serious 
apprehensions  on  his  behalf.  He  had  been  overtasked,  and 
like  the  rest  of  us  he  was  starving  with  cold  and  hunger,  and 
I  saw  that  he  could  not  hold  out  much  longer.  My  worst 
fears  were  speedily  realised.  We  had  not  journeyed  half  a 
mile  from  the  place  where  we  rested  at  noon,  when,  blinded 
by  the  snow,  and  completely  broken  down,  he  dropped  the 
rail  of  the  cart,  and  I  saw  that  he  could  go  no  further.  How 
I  felt,  you,  as  a  wife  and  mother,  only  can  guess.  In  a 
moment  my  own  weakness  was  forgotten  ;  my  love  for  my 
husband  made  me  strong  again.  To  leave  him  there  or  to 
delay  would  have  been  death  to  one  if  not  all  of  us.  So  I 
called  to  those  who  shared  the  cart  with  us,  and  they  helped 
me  as  well  as  they  could  to  lift  my  husband  up  and  put 
him  under  part  of  the  bedding.  It  was  the  only  chance 
of  saving  his  life,  for,  as  I  before  mentioned,  some,  previous 
to  this,  who  had  been  overcome,  and  had  lingered  by  the  way, 
had  been  frozen  to  death  or  devoured  by  the  wolves. 

"  I  then  took  hold  of  the  cross-bar  or  handle  of  the  cart, 
and  numbed  with  the  cold,  and  trembling  in  every  limb,  it 
was  as  much  as  I  could  do  to  raise  it  from  the  ground.  To 
move  the  cart  was  impossible,  so  I  appealed  to  the  old  folks 
again,  and  they  exerted  all  their  strength  to  push  it  from 
behind,  and  our  combined  efforts  at  length  succeeded ;  but  the 
chief  weight  fell  upon  me.  How  gladly  I  bore  it  ;  how  gladly 
I  would  have  borne  anything  for  the  mere  chance  of  saving 
my  dear  husband's  life,  your  own  heart  can  tell. 

"  The  snow  drifted  wildly  around  us,  and  beat  in  our  faces 
so  blindingly  that  we  could  hardly  proceed.  The  greater  part 
of  the  train  had  passed  on  while  we  delayed  on  account  of  my 
husband,  and  now  every  one  was  making  the  most  desperate 


efforts  to  keep  up  with  the  rest ;  to  be  left  behind  was  death. 
Had  I  been  asked  whether  under  any  circumstances  I  could 
have  dragged  that  heavy  cart  along  in  all  that  storm,  I  should 
certainly  have  replied  that  it  would  be  utterly  impossible  ; 
but  until  we  are  tried  we  do  not  know  what  we  can  bear.  It 
was  not  until  the  night  came  on,  and  we  pitched  our  tents, 
that  I  realised  what  I  had  passed  through. 

"  They  helped  me  to'  carry  my  husband  to  the  tent,  and 
there  we  laid  him,  and  I  tried  to  make  him  as  easy  as  was 
possible  under  the  ^circumstances,  but  comfort  or  rest  was 
altogether  out  of  the  question.  All  that  night  I  sat  beside 
him,  sometimes  watching,  sometimes  falling  into  a  fitful 
sleep.  I  did  not  believe  that  he  would  live  through  the 
night.  In  the  morning  he  was  by  no  means  improved,  and 
then  I  felt  too  truly  the  abject  misery  of  our  position.  It  is  a 
painful  thing  to  watch  at  the  bedside  of  those  we  love  when 
hope  for  their  recovery  is  gone,  but  think  what  it  must  be  to 
sit  upon  the  cold  earth  in  a  tent,  upon  the  open  desert,  with 
the  piercing  wind  of  winter  penetrating  to  the  very  bones, 
and  there  before  you,  the  dear  one — your  life,  your  all  on 
earth — dying,  and  you  without  a  drop  of  medicine,  or  even  a 
morsel  of  the  coarsest  nourishment,  to  give  him.  Oh,  the 
bitterness  ot  my  soul  at  thct  moment !  I  tried  to  pray,  but 
my  heart  was  full  of  cursing ;  it  seemed  to  me  as  if  even  God 
Himself  had  forgotten  us.  The  fearful  misery  of  that  dark 
hour  has  left  on  my  soul  itself  a  record  as  ineffaceable  as  the 
imprint  of  a  burning  iron  upon  the  flesh. 

"  The  morning  broke  at  last,  dark  and  dreary,  and  a  thick 
heavy  mantle  of  snow  ccJvered  all  the  camp,  but  we  contrived 
to  communicate  with  each  other,  and  soon  it  was  whispered 
that  five  poor  creatures  had  been  found  dead  in  the  tents. 
Want,  and  weariness,  and  the  bitter  cold  had  done  their  work, 
and  we  did  not  weep  for  them — they  were  at  rest ;  but  for 
ourselves  we  wept  that  we  were  left  behind — and  we  looked 
at  one  another,  wistfully,  wondering  which  of  us  would  be 
taken  next. 

We  buried   those  five  poor  frozen  corpses  in  one  grave, 

230     THE  LAST  extremity: — DESPAIR  OF  THE  EMIGRANTS. 

wrapped  in  the  clothing  in  which  they  died,  and  then  we  com- 
forted each  other  as  best  we  might,  and  left  the  dead  who 
were  now  beyond  our  reach,  that  we  might  do  what  we  could 
for  those  who  were  fast  following  them  to  the  grave.  A 
meeting  of  the  leaders  was  held,  and  it  was  resolved  that  we 
should  remain  where  we  were  until  the  promised  supplies 
reached  us.  We  could  not,  in  fact,  do  otherwise,  for  the  snow 
was  so  deep  that  it  was  impossible  for  us  to  proceed,  and  the 
sick  and  dying  demanded  immediate  attention.  That  morn- 
ing, for  the  first  time,  no  flour  was  distributed — there  was 
none.  All  that  remained,  besides  our  miserable  cattle,  was  a 
small  quantity  of  hard  biscuit  which  Captain  Willie  bought  at 
Laramie,  and  a  few  pounds  of  rice  and  dried  apples.  Nearly 
all  the  biscuit  was  at  once  divided  among  the  whole  company, 
and  the  few  pounds  which  remained,  together  with  the  rice  and 
apples,  were  given  to  Elder  Chislett  for  the  use  of  the  sick 
and  the  very  little  children.  They  also  killed  two  of  the  cat- 
tle and  divided  the  beef.  Most  of  the  people  got  through 
their  miserable  allowance  that  very  morning,  and  then  they 
had  to  fast. 

"  Captain  Willie  set  out  that  morning  with  another  Elder  to 
meet  the  coming  supplies  and  hasten  them  on,  and  as  we  saw 
them  disappear  in  the  distant  west  we  almost  felt  as  if  our  last 
hope  departed  with  them,  so  many  chances  there  were  that  we 
should  never  see  them  again. 

"  The  whole  of  that  long,  long  day  I  sat  beside  my  husband 
in  the  tent — and  I  might  almost  say  I  did  no  more.  There 
was  nothing  that  I  could  do.  The  little  bedding  that  was  al- 
lowed for  both  of  us  I  made  up  into  a  couch  for  him  ;  but 
what  a  wretched  make-shift  it  was  !  And  I  got  from  Elder 
Chislett  a  few  of  the  dried  apples  which  had  been  reserved  for 
the  sick  ;  but  it  was  not  until  nightfall  that  my  husband  was 
capable  of  swallowing  anything — and  then,  what  nourishment 
to  give  to  a  sick  man  !  The  day  was  freezingly  cold,  and  I 
had  hardly  anything  on  me,  and  had  eaten  nothing  since  the 
day  before ;  for  my  mind  was  so  agitated  that  I  do  not  think 
the  most  delicate  food  would  have  tempted  me.     God  alone 

"oh  god,  my  god,  let  me  die!"  231 

knows  the  bitterness  of  my  heart  as  I  sat  there  during  all  that 
weary  day.  I  never  expected  to  see  my  husband  open  his 
eyes  again,  and  I  thought  that  when  evening  came  I  would 
lie  down  beside  him  and  we  would  take  our  last  long  sleep  on 
earth  together. 

"  When  night  came  on  and  all  was  dark  I  still  sat  there  ;  I 
dreaded  to  move  lest  I  should  learn  the  terrible  truth — my 
husband  dead  !  I  looked  towards  the  place  where  I  knew  he 
was  lying,  but  I  could  see  nothing.  I  listened,  and  I  fancied 
that  I  heard  a  gentle  breathing — but  it  was  only  fancy.  Then, 
louder  than  the  incessant  moaning  of  the  wind,  I  could  hear  in 
the  distance  a  fearful  cry — a  cry  which  had  often  chilled  our 
hearts  at  midnight  on  the  plains — it  was  the  wolves  !  The 
darkness  grew  darker  still — so  thick  that  one  could  almost 
feel  it ;  the  horror  of  death  seemed  stealing  over  all  my  senses. 
Oh  that  there  might  be  one  long  eternal  night  to  blot  out  for 
ever  our  miseries  and  our  existence.  I  threw  my  hands 
wildly  above  me  and  cried  bitterly :  '  Oh  God,  my  God,  let  vie 

die  r 

"  God  was  nearer  to  me  than  I  thought.  As  my  hand  dropped 
lifelessly  to  the  ground  it  touched  some  moving  thing — it  was 
my  husband's  hand — the  same  hand  which  I  had  watched  in 
the  twilight,  stiffening,  as  I  thought,  in  death.  The  long,  thin 
fingers  grasped  my  own,  and  though  they  were  very,  very  cold, 
I  felt  that  life  was  in  them  ;  and  as  I  stooped  down  to  kiss 
them  I  heard  my  husband's  voice,  very  weak  and  feeble,  say- 
ing in  a  whisper — "  Mary."  I  threw  myself  upon  his  bosom. 
In  a  moment  the  fear  of  death — the  longing  for  death — the 
wild  and  terrible  thoughts,  all  had  gone; — the  sound  of  that 
voice  was  life  to  me,  and  forgetful  of  his  weakness,  forgetful 
of  everything  but  him,  I  threw  myself  upon  his  bosom  and 
wept  tears  of  joy. 

"  Very  carefully  and  gently  I  raised  him  up,  and,  in  the 
darkness,  every  whispered  word  conveyed  more  meaning  to 
my  mind  than  all  his  eloquence  in  by-gone  times.  After  some 
time  I  persuaded  him  to  take  a  little  nourishment — miserable 
stuff  that  it  was — and  presently  he  fell  asleep  again.     I  laid  his 

232  TERRIBLE    SCENES    IN    THE    CAMP. 

dear  head  upon  the  best  pillow  that  I  could  make  of  some  of 
my  own  clothes,  and  then  I  slept  a  little  myself — not  much, 
but  it  was  more  refreshing  than  any  sleep  that  had  visited  my 
eyes  for  long  time  past — hope  had  come  again. 

"  The  next  morning  my  husband  was  evidently  better,  and 
I  knelt  down  beside  him  and  thanked  God  for  the  miracle  that 
He  had  wrought ;  for  was  it  not  a  miracle  thus  to  raise  my 
dead  to  life  again  ?  How  many  stronger,  stouter  men  than  he 
had  I  seen  fall  sick  and  die  ;  but  to  me  God  had  shown  mercy 
in  my  utmost  need. 

"  We  waited  three  long  days  for  the  return  of  Captain  Wil- 
lie. My  heart  was  so  full  of  thankfulness  that  my  husband 
had  been  spared  that  I  certainly  did  not  feel  so  acutely  the 
misery  with  which  I  was  surrounded  as  I  otherwise  should 
have  done  ;  I  was  like  the  prisoner  who  feels  happy  in  a  re- 
prieve from  death,  but  whose  situation  is  nevertheless  such  as 
would  appear  to  any  other  person  the  most  wretched  in  which 
he  could  be  placed.  The  misery  that  was  suffered  in  that 
camp  was  beyond  the  power  of  words  to  describe.  On  the 
second  day  they  gave  us  some  more  beef-rations,  but  they  did 
us  little  good.  The  beef  was,  of  course,  of  the  poorest,  and, 
eaten  alone,  it  did  not  seem  to  satisfy  hunger,  and  those  who 
were  prostrated  by  dysentery,  although  they  ate  it  ravenously, 
suffered  much  in  consequence  afterwards. 

"  The  number  of  the  sick  rapidly  increased,  and  not  a  few 
died  from  exhaustion  ;  and  really  those  seemed  happiest  who 
were  thus  taken  from  the  horrors  which  surrounded  them. 
Had  it  not  been  for  the  intense  frost,  we  should  all  probably 
have  fallen  victims  to  the  intolerable  atmosphere  of  the  camp. 
I  would  not  even  allow  my  mind  to  recall  some  of  the  scenes 
which  I  witnessed  at  that  time :  scenes,  the  disgusting  and 
filthy  horrors  of  which,  no  decent  words  could  describe. 
When  you  consider  the  frightful  condition  in  which  we  were, 
the  hunger  and  cold  which  we  endured,  you  may  perhaps  be 
able  in  a  small  degree  to  conjecture — as  far  as  a  person  can 
conjecture  who  has  not  himself  suffered  such  things — what  we 
then  passed  through.     I  saw  poor  miserable  creatures,  utterly 

HELP    IN    TIME    OF    NEED.  233 

worn  out,  dying  in  the  arms  of  other  forlorn  and  hopeless 
creatures  as  wretched  as  themselves ;  I  saw  strong  and  honest, 
honorable  men,  or  who  had  once  been  such,  begging  of  the 
captain  for  the  miserable  scraps  which  had  been  saved  for  the 
sick  and  the  helpless  children ;  I  saw  poor  heart-broken 
mothers  freezing  to  death,  but  clasping  as  they  died,  in  an 
agony  of  loving  woe,  the  torn  and  wretched  remnants  of  cloth- 
ing which  they  still  retained,  around  the  emaciated  forms  of 
their  innocent  babes — the  mother-instinct  strong  in  death ; 
and  sometimes  at  night  when,  all  unbidden,  I  see  again  in 
dreams  the  awful  sufferings  of  those  poor  God-forsaken 
wretches,  I  start  in  horror  and  pray  the  Almighty  rather 
to  blot  out  from  my  mind  the  memory  of  all  the  past, 
than  to  let  me  ever  recollect,  if  but  in  fancy,  that  fearful 

"  The  third  day  came,  and  still  no  relief.  There  are  mys- 
terious powers  of  endurance  in  human  nature,  weak  as  we 
often  deem  it,  but  there  is  a  point  beyond  which  the  bow, 
however  flexible,  will  not  bend.  It  was  evident  that  if  no  help 
arrived  speedily,  the  end  was  not  far  off. 

"  The  sun  was  sinking  behind  the  distant  western  hills,  in 
all  the  glory  of  the  clear  frosty  atmosphei:e  of  the  desert,  and 
many  who  gazed  upon  its  beauty  did  so  with  a  mournful  inter- 
est, believing  that  they  would  never  again  behold  the  light  of 
day.  But  at  that  moment  some  who  were  anxiously  watching 
with  a  last  hope — watching  for  what  they  hardly  dared  expect 
to  see — raised  a  shout  of  joy.  We  knew  what  it  was  !  Men, 
women,  and  children  rushed  from  their  tents  to  welcome  the 
approaching  wagons  and  our  friends  in  time  of  need.  Captain 
Willie  and  the  other  Elder  had  found  the  rescue  from  Salt 
Lake  overtaken  by  the  storm  just  as  we  were,  but  he  had  told 
them  of  our  terrible  situation,  and  they  had  hastened  on  with- 
out a  moment's  delay.  It  was  he  and  they,  convoying  good 
supplies,  who  now  approached  us.  The  poor  creatures  shouted 
wildly  for  joy,  even  the  strong  men  shed  tears,  and  the  sisters, 
overcome  with  the  sudden  change  from  death  to  life,  flung 
themselves  into  the  arms  of  the  brethren  as  they  came  into 


the  camp  and  covered  them  with  kisses.  Such  happiness  you 
never  saw — everyone  shaking  hands  and  speaking  joyfully — 
everyone  saying  '  God  bless  you '  with  a  meaning  such  as  is 
seldom  attached  to  those  words. 

"  The  supplies  were  to  us  more  than  food  and  clothing — 
they  were  life  itself.  Elder  John  Chislett  was  appointed  to 
distribute  the  provisions  and  clothing,  and  everything  was 
placed  in  his  hands.  He  gave  out  to  us  all  what  was  imme- 
diately necessary,  but  strongly  cautioned  us  to  be  very  moder- 
ate in  what  we  ate,  as  it  was  dangerous  to  go  from  the 
extreme  of  fasting  to  a  full  meal.  After  supper,  the  clothing 
and  bedding  was  fairly  divided,  and  we  felt  more  thankful  for 
those  little  comforts  than  a  person,  who  had  never  endured  as 
we  had,  would  have  felt  had  he  become  suddenly  the  recipient 
of  boundless  luxury. 

"  Two  of  the  Elders  who  had  held  forth  such  delusive  hopes 
to  the  company,  not  long  before,  as  I  have  already  told  you, 
were  with  the  brethren  who  came  to  our  relief.  I  have  never 
ventured  to  ask  how  it  was  that  they  could  hold  out  to  us  in 
God's  name  such  promises,  when  they  must  have  known,  after 
a  moment's  reflection,  that  they  were  utterly  baseless,  but  I 
think  that  probably  they  left  their  comfortable  homes  in  Salt 
Lake  City  and  came  across  the  stormy  desert  with  supplies  to 
meet  us,  only  to  show  practically  how  anxious  they  were  to 
atone  for  having  led  us  astray.  Next  morning  Elder  Grant 
went  on  east  to  meet  the  company  following  us,  but  Elder 
W.  H.  Kimball  took  command  of  our  company  for  the  rest  of 
the  way. 

"  We  could  now  journey  but  very  slowly,  for  the  road  was 
bad,  the  sick  and  weakly  were,  however,  able  to  ride,  and 
altogether  we  suffered  less.  To  some  this  change  for  the 
better  arrived  too  late — the  mental  and  physical  sufferings 
which  they  had  endured  were  too  much  for  them.  Poor  souls ! 
they  alone  and  their  Father  in  heaven  knew  what  they  had 
passed  through.  They  seemed  to  have  lost  all  consciousness, 
as  if  their  faculties  had  been  numbed  and  stultified.  We 
talked  to  them  of  the  past,  but  they  looked  at  us  with  unmean- 

"TOO    LATE TOO    LATE  !  "  235 

ing  eyes,  as  if  we  spoke  of  something  in  which  they  had  no  in- 
terest ;  we  tried  to  lead  their  thoughts  to  Zion,  and  the  pro- 
mises of  the  Lord  ;  but  it  was  all  in  vain.  They  turned  from 
us  with  a  look  of  terrible  apathy  ;  and  one  or  two,  who  partly 
seemed  to  understand,  only  replied  with  an  indifference  pain- 
ful to  witness — "  too  late,  too  late  !" 

"As  we  journeyed,  the  weather  every  day  grew  colder: 
Many  of  the  unfortunate  people  lost  their  fingers  and  toes, 
others  their  ears  ;  one  poor  woman  lost  her  sight,  and  I  was 
told  of  a  poor  sick  man  who  held  on  to  the  wagon-bars  to  save 
himself  from  jolting  and  had  all  his  .fingers  frozen  off.  Few, 
if  any,  of  the  people  recovered  from  the  effects  of  that  frost. 
One  morning  they  found  a  poor  old  man  who  had  vainly  tried 
the  evening  before  to  keep  up  with  the  rest.  His  corpse  was 
not  far  from  the  camp,  but  it  had  been  sadly  mangled  by  the 
wolves.  Then  there  came  another  snow-storm,  only  worse  in 
proportion  as  the  weather  was  colder,  and  it  was  with  the  ut- 
most difficulty  that  we  could  be  kept  from  freezing.  We 
wrapped  blankets  and  anything  else  we  could  get  around  us, 
but  the  cold  wind  penetrated  to  our  very  bones.  I  was  told 
that  some  of  the  people,  even  women  and  children  who  lagged 
behind  were  whipped  so  as  to  make  them  keep  up,  and  to  keep 
life  in  them.  I  did  not  see  this  myself,  but  I  believe,  if  the 
story  was  true,  it  was  an  act  of  mercy  and  not  of  cruelty,  for  to 
delay  a  moment  was  fatal.  The  captain  of  our  hundred,  more 
than  once  stayed  behind  the  company  to  bury  some  unfortun- 
ate person  who  died  on  the  road  :  how  he  ever  got  up  with  us 
again  I  cannot  tell,  but  he  seemed  to  be  as  indefatigable  in  his 
labors  as  he  was  wonderfully  presei^ved. 

"Sometimes  the  carts  came  to  a  dead  stand-still,  and 
several  had  to  be  fastened  together  and  drawn  by  a  united 
effort,  and  in  more  than  one  instance  the  poor  people  gave  up 
altogether  ; — they  were  carried  on,  while  they  lived,  as  well  as 
we  could ;  but  their  carts  were  abandoned.  The  stragglers 
came  in  slowly  to  camp  the  night  of  the  storm  ; — the  people 
from  the  Valley  even  went  back  to  fetch  some  in ;  and  it  was 
nearly  six  o'clock  in  the  morning  before  the  last  arrived 

236  FIFTEEN    BURIED    IN    ONE    GRAVE. 

"  The  next  day  we  remained  in  camp,  for  there  were  so 
many  sick  and  dying  that  we  could  not  proceed.  Early  in 
the  morning  Elder  Chislett  and  three  other  Elders  went 
round  to  see  who  was  dead,  that  they  might  be  buried.  They 
found  in  the  tents  fifteen  corpses — all  stiff  and  frozen.  Two 
more  died  during  the  day.  A  large  square  hole  was  dug  and 
they  were  buried  in  it  three  abreast,  and  then  they  were 
covered  with  leaves  and  earth,  every  precaution  being  taken 
to  keep  them  from  the  wolves.  Few  of  the  relatives  of  ■those 
who  were  dead  came  to  the  burial — they  did  not  seem  to  care 
— death  had  become  familiar  to  them,  and  personal  misery 
precluded  sorrow  for  the  dead. 

"  As  we  drew  nearer  to  Salt  Lake  Valley  we  met  more  of 
the  brethren  coming  to  our  assistance.  They  supplied  us  with 
all  we  needed,  and  then  hastened  on  to  meet  those  who 
followed  us.  The  atmosphere  seemed  to  become  sensibly 
warmer,  and  our  sufferings  were  proportionately  less  as  we 
approached  Zion. 

"  What  the  feelings  of  others  might  have  been  when  they 
first  saw  the  goal  of  our  hopes — Zion  of  our  prayers  and 
songs — I  cannot  tell.  Weary,  Oh,  so  weary  I  felt,  but  thank- 
ful, more  than  thankful  that  my  husband's  life  had  been 
spared.     He  was  pale  and  sick,  but  he  was  with  me  still. 

"  I  have  written  too  much  already.  Sister  Stenhouse.  I 
cannot  tell  you  more  now,  but  I  may  as  well  add  that  when 
we  left  Iowa  City  we  were  about  five  hundred  in  all.  Some 
left  us  on  the  way.  When  we  left  Florence  and  began  the 
journey  across  the  Plains  we  were  over  four  hundred  and 
twenty,  of  which  number  we  buried  sixty-seven — a  sixth  of 
the  whole.  The  company  which  followed  us,  and  to  which  I 
have  frequently  alluded,  fared  worse  than  we.  They  num- 
bered six  hundred  when  they  started,  but  they  buried  one 
hundred  and  fifty  on  the  journey — one  in  every  four.  May 
God  grant  that  I  may  never  again  see  such  a  sight  as  was 
presented  by  the  miserable  remnant  of  that  last  company  as 
they  came  on  slowly  through  the  Canon  towards  Salt  Lake 



Considering  Our  Position — Doubts  and  Fears — A  Visit  from  the  Apostle  Geo. 
Q.  Cannon — We  are  "Counselled"  to  Emigrate — Giving  up  All  for  the 
Church — Taking  Charge  of  the  Emigrants — The  Insignificance  of  Women — 
Wives  are  Never  to  Follow  their  own  Judgment — "Be  Obedient" — We  Begin 
our  Pilgrimage — The  Perpetual  Emigration  Fund — How  Mormon  Emigration 
is  Managed — Settling  the  Debts  of  a  Lady-Love — How  Certain  Imprudent 
Englishmen  Have  Suffered — The  "Emigration"  of  Miss  Blank — An  Ancient 
"Sister"  who  was  Forced  to  Wait — Living  Contradictions — First  Glimpse  of 
Salt  Lake  City — A  Glorious  Panorama — The  Spectre  of  My  Existence — The 
Prison- Walls  of  the  Mountains — Without  Hope — Life  in  the  Wagons — 
Search  for  a  House — "Roughing  It"  in  Zion — First  Impressions — A  Cheer- 
less Prospect  for  Winter — Daniel  H.  Wells  Promises  Assistance — A  Woful 
Spectacle  of  Tallow  Candles — Odorous  Illumination — "  VE^s^lise  c^est  vioi^^ — 
"An  Ugly  Man  With  a  Cast  in  His  Eye" — An  Awkward  Mistake — Begin- 
ning Life  in  Zion. 

IT  was  with  strange  feelings  of  doubt  and  unrest  that  I  read 
that  painful  story  ;  but  I  folded  up  Mary  Burton's  letter 
and  stored  it  carefully  away  in  my  desk,  and  then  I  began  to 

Certainly  I  was  still  a  Mormon — at  least  I  was  nothing 
else — but  I  was  not  now  so  firmly  grounded  in  my  faith  as  once 
I  was,  and  these  terrible  stories  completely  unsettled  my 
mind.  Then,  too,  I  was  well  aware  that,  before  long,  my 
husband  and  myself  would  be  called  upon  to  cross  the  Plains 
to  Zion,  and  I  felt  that  if  our  experience  were  anything  like 
that  of  Mary  Burton,  I  and  my  children  would  never  reach 
Salt  Lake.  The  prospect  was  not  very  cheering. 


One  morning  we  were  surprised  to  receive  a  visit  from  the 
Apostle  George  O.  Cannon  who  informed  us  that  he  had 
received  letters  from  Utah  and  had  come  to  take  the  place  of 
Mr.  Stenhouse  as  President  of  the  Mission  in  the  Eastern 
States,  and  that  we  might  now  prepare  to  travel  with  the 
next  company  of  emigrants. 

To  me  this  was  most  unpleasant  intelligence.  Polygamy, — 
the  knowledge  that  before  long  I  should  be  brought  person- 
ally within  its  degrading  influence, — had  now  for  years  been 
the  curse  of  my  life,  and  I  had  welcomed  every  reprieve  from 
immediate  contact  with  it  in  Utah.  But  the  time  had  come 
at  last  when  I  was  to  realise  my  worst  apprehensions,  and  I 
think  at  that  time,  had  I  been  permitted  to  choose,  I  would 
have  preferred  to  die  rather  than  journey  to  Zion.  Besides 
this,  ever  since  my  husband  had  been  engaged  with  the 
secular  papers,  we  had  been  getting  along  very  comfortably. 
We  had  now  a  pleasant  home  and  many  comforts  and  little 
luxuries  which  we  had  not  enjoyed  since  we  left  Switzerland, 
and  I  was  beginning  to  hope  that  we  should  be  allowed  to 
remain  in  New  York  for  a  few  years  at  least.  We  had  also 
by  this  time  six  children — the  youngest  only  a  few  days  old — 
and  I  leave  it  to  any  mother  to  determine  whether  I  had  not 
good  cause  for  vexation  when  I  was  told  that  we  were 
expected  to  leave  New  York  within  two  weeks  with  the 
emigrants  who  were  then  en  route  from  England.  My  hus- 
band also  was  to  take  charge  of  the  company,  and  therefore 
everything  would  depend  upon  me — all  the  preparations  for 
our  long  and  perillous  journey,  the  disposal  of  our  furniture, 
and,  in  fact,  the  thousand  and  one  little  necessary  duties 
which  must  attend  the  packing  up  and  departure  of  a  family. 

In  the  course  of  a  few  days  the  emigrants  arrived,  and  then 
my  husband  was  compelled  to  devote  all  his  time  to  them. 
When  I  told  the  Elders  that  it  was  almost  impossible  for  me, 
in  the  delicate  state  of  health  in  which  I  was,  and  with  a  babe 
only  two  weeks  old,  to  undertake  such  a  journey,  they  told 
me  that  I  had  no  faith  in  the  power  of  God,  and  that  if  I 
would  arise  and  begin  my  preparations,  the  Lord  would  give 


me  strength  according  to  my  day.  Thinking  that  probably 
my  husband  believed  as  they  did,  I  made  the  effort,  but  it 
cost  me  much.  In  the  Mormon  Church  the  feelings  or 
sufferings  of  women  are  never  considered.  If  an  order  is 
given  to  any  man  to  take  a  journey  or  perform  any  given  task, 
his  wife  or  wives  are  never  thought  of.  They  are  his  prop- 
erty just  as  much  as  his  horses,  mules,  or  oxen,  and  if  one  wife 
should  die,  it  is  of  little  consequence,  if  he  has  others,  and  if 
he  has  not  he  can  easily  get  them  ;  and  if  he  is  not  young  or 
fascinating  enough  to  win  his  way  with  the  young  ladies,  he 
has  only  to  keep  on  good  terms  with  Brigham  Young,  or  even 
with  his  bishop,  and  every  difficulty  will  be  smoothed  away, 
and  they  will  be  "  counselled"  to  marry  him. 

It  is  never  expected,  nor  would  it  be  tolerated  in  any  Mor- 
mon woman  that  she  should  exercise  her  own  judgment  in 
opposition  to  her  husband,  no  matter  how  much  she  might 
feel  that  he  was  in  the  wrong  :  I  have  frequently  seen  Intel-  • 
ligent  women  subjected  to  the  grossest  tyranny  on  the  part  of 
ignorant  and  fanatical  husbands  who  were  influenced  by  the 
absurd  teachings  of  the  Tabernacle.  One  of  the  greatest 
Mormon  writers  has  said  : 

"  The  wife  should  nez'cr  foUmo  her  cnon  judgment  in  preference  to  that  of  her 
husband;  for  if  her  husband  desires  to  do  right,  but  errs  in  judgment,  the  Lord 
will  bless  her  in  endeavoring  to  carry  out  his  counsels  ;  for  God  has  placed  him 
at  the  head,  and  though  he  may  err  in  judgment,  yet  God  will  not  justify  the 
wife  in  disregarding  his  instructions  and  counsels  ;  far  greater  is  the  sin  of 
rebellion,  than  the  errors  which  arise  from  the  want  of  judgment ;  therefore  she 
would  be  condemned  for  suffering  her  will  to  arise  against  his.  Be  obedient,  and 
God  will  cause  all  things  to  work  for  good." 

The  trouble  and  annoyance  occasioned  by  leaving  a  com- 
fortable position  in  New  York  to  travel  to  such  an  unknown 
region  as  Utah  was  then,  was  not  a  trifle  ;  but  we  hastened 
our  preparations,  sacrificing  all  that  we  possessed,  in  the  most 
reckless  manner,  and  in  due  time  set  out. 

When  we  reached  Florence — the  starting-point  on  the 
Frontiers — we  were  detained  on  account  of  some  mismanage- 
ment on  the  part  of  the  Church  Agents,  and-  remained  for 
three  weeks  in  camp.     Ours  was  what  was  called  "  an  inde- 


pendent  company"  ;  by  which  I  mean  that  we  were  able  to 
defray  our  own  expenses  without  borrowing  from  the  Church: 
the  poorer  emigrants  were  assisted  from  a  fund  provided  for 
that  purpose — the  Perpetual  Emigration  Fund.  More  than 
twenty  years  ago  contributions  were  levied  on  the  more 
wealthy  Saints  for  the  purpose  of  providing  the  passage, 
outfit,  &c.,  of  those  who  could  not  otherwise  have  "  gathered 
to  Zion."  It  was  not,  however,  intended  that  a  free  passage 
should  be  provided ;  those  who  had  a  little  money  were 
assisted,  and  then,  after  all,  they  had  to  make  good  to  the 
last  farthing,  with  interest,  what  they  had  borrowed  from  the 
fund.  I  have  known  many  people  who  contributed  very 
largely,  and  it  was  represented  constantly  as  the  duty  of  all 
to  do  so. 

Men  who  contemplate  entering  into  the  patriarchal  order 
of  matrimony,  if  they  are  Americans,  generally  try  to  discover 
whether  the  "emigration"  of  their  lady-love  has  been  "settled 
for,"  and  if  their  investigations  end  unfavorably  the  result 
very  frequently  is  that  their  devotion  is  turned  into  another 
channel  and  some  other  maiden  whose  expenses  have  been 
fully  paid  bears  off  the  palm.  Englishmen  have  not  always 
been  quite  so  prudent,  and  some  have  married  according  to 
their  own  sweet  fancy  without  asking  a  question,  and  to  their 
dismay,  not  long  after  the  wedding,  an  account  has  been  sent 
in  for  the  emigration  of  Miss  Blank.  Others,  again,  have  not 
been  allowed  to  marry  the  lady  of  their  choice  until  she  was 
first  paid  for,  and  if  the  old  man  was  very  much  in  love,  this 
was  a  quick  way  of  getting  the  account  settled.  The  Mormon 
Church  never  gives,  it  only  lends  to  the  poor.  Many  a  man 
and  woman  has  given  enough  to  have  emigrated  himself  or 
herself  over  and  over  again.  This  was  because  they  were  old 
people,  and  it  was  the  young  girls  and  young  people  generally 
who  received  the  benefits  of  the  fund.  Many  years  ago  a 
poor  old  widow  woman  in  England  said  to  me :  "  I  have 
nearly  starved  myself  to  contribute  all  that  I  could  to  the 
emigration  fund,  in  hopes  that  I  should  have  the  privilege  of 
going  to  Zion  and  mingling  with  the  chosen  people  of  God, 

THEN    AND    NOW.  24I 

but  every  season  the  young  girls  are  all  picked  out  of  our 
branch,  and  I  am  told  to  wait.  I  cannot  think  that  this  is 
right,  but  I  don't  wish  to  judge  the  actions  of  God's  servants. 
I  suppose  I  must  wait." 

She  did  wait,  and  died  waiting. 

Our  company  was  in  an  infinitely  better  position  than  that 
of  those  emigrants  of  whose  sad  fate  my  friend  Mary  Burton 
had  told  me  ;  for  our  journey  was  made  at  the  proper  season, 
and  as  far  as  was  possible  under  the  circumstances,  conven- 
ience and  comfort  had  been  attended  to.  The  incidents  which 
befell  us  were  few,  and  although,  of  course,  every  one  of  us 
felt  weary  and  worn  out,  we  were  not  called  upon  to  pass 
through  the  miseries  and  sufferings  endured  by  the  hand-cart 
emigrants.  Looking  back  to  our  primitive  mode  of  travelling, 
it  appears  to  me  almost  as  if  I  must  be  making  some  mistake 
about  my  own  age,  and  that  it  must  have  been  several  centuries, 
instead  of  a  few  years  ago,  since  we  crossed  the  plains.  The 
ox-team  and  wagon,  the  walk  on  foot  in  the  day  and  the 
camp  life  at  night  have  been  pleasantly  exchanged  for  the 
swift  travel  of  a  few  days  in  a  Pullman  palace-car. 

What  living  contradictions  we  were  as  we  crossed  the 
Plains — singing  in  a  circle,  night  and  morning,  the  songs  of 
Zion  and  listening  to  prayers  and  thanksgivings  for  having 
been  permitted  to  gather  out  of  Babylon,  and  then  during  the 
day  as  we  trudged  along  in  twos  and  threes  expressing  to 
each  other  all  our  misgivings,  and  doubts,  and  fears,  and  the 
bitterness  of  our  thoughts  against  Polygamy ;  while  each  wife, 
confiding  in  her  husband's  honor  and  faithfulness,  solaced 
herself  with  the  hope  that  all  might  yet  be  well.  How  little 
sometimes  do  the  songs  of  gladness  reflect  the  real  sentiments 
of  the  heart.  How  often  have  I  heard  many  a  poor  heart- 
broken woman  singing  the  chorus  : 

"  I  never  knew  what  joy  was  • 

Till  I  became  a  Mormon." 

I  never  could  sing  that  song,  for  my  experience  had  been 
exactly  the  reverse. 


It  was  the  month  of  September — the  beginning  of  our 
beautiful  Indian  summer — when  we  emerged  from  the  canon, 
and  caught  sight  of  Salt  Lake  City,  Everything  looked  green 
and  lovely,  and  in  spite  of  all  my  sad  forebodings  while  cross- 
ing the  Plains,  I  involuntarily  exclaimed,  "  Ah,  what  a  glorious 
spot !"  It  looked  like  a  beautiful  garden — another  Eden — in 
the  midst  of  a  desert  valley.  We  had  a  glimpse  of  the  Great 
Salt  Lake  far  away  in  the  distance,  stretching  out  like  a  placid 
sheet  of  molten  silver,  while  everywhere  around  were  the 
lonely-looking  snow-capped  mountains,  encircling  us  like 
mighty  prison-walls. 

It  would  be  impossible  for  me  to  describe  my  feelings  at 
that  time.  Even  while  I  was  enchanted  with  the  glorious 
prospect  before  me,  there  arose  again  in  my  mind  that  haunt- 
ing spectre  of  my  existence — Polygamy.  I  believed  that  this 
little  earthly  paradise  would  probably  be  to  me  and  my 
daughters  after  me,  a  prison-house,  and  with  a  mother's  in- 
stinct I  shuddered  as  I  thought  of  what  they  might  be  des- 
tined to  suffer  there.  Lovely  as  the  scene  was,  there  was  a 
fatal  shadow  overhanging  it  all.  Then,  ttDO,  there  was  no  es- 
cape :  if  the  sad  forebodings  of  my  heart  were  realised,  it 
would  be  utterly  impossible  for  us  ever  to  get  away.  The 
idea  of  a  railway  being  constructed  across  those  desert  plains 
and  rocky  mountains  never  for  a  moment  entered  my  mind, 
and  even  had  I  thought  it  possible,  I  should  have  supposed 
that  it  would  take  a  life-time  to  complete.  No,  there  was  no 
help  for  me,  even  if  it  came  to  the  worst.  I  felt  that  my  doom 
was  sealed  ;  and  there  were  many  women  in  our  company  who 
thought  just  the  same  as  I  did  and  who  were  troubled  at  heart 
with  fears  as  sad  as  mine. 

My  first  impressions  of  Salt  Lake  City  when  we  began  life 
there  were  anything  but  pleasant — we  had  to  "  rough  it." 
For  nearly  two  weeks  we  were  obliged  to  remain  in  our  wagons, 
as-  it  was  quite  impossible  to  obtain  house-room.  At  that  time 
each  family  built  their  own  little  hut,  and  there  were  no 
vacant  houses  to  let. 

The  weather  was  now  growing  very  cold  and  wintry,  and  it 

A    CHEERFUL    HOUSE    FOR    WINTER    TIME  !  243 

was  absolutely  necessary  that  we  should  have  some  better 
shelter  than  the  wagons  afforded.  One  day  my  husband  told 
me,  when  he  came  home,  that  he  had  been  offered  a  house 
which  belonged  to  the  Church.  It  was  in  a  very  dilapidated 
condition,  he  said,  but  that  if  I  would  go  and  look  at  it  with 
him,  we  could  then  decide  about  taking  it.  No  time  was  to 
be  lost,  for  companies  of  emigrants  were  coming  in  almost 
daily,  and  if  we  neglected  this  chance  we  might  not  find 

When  we  arrived  at  the  house  I  was  much  discouraged  at 
seeing  the  condition  it  was  in  :  the  window  panes  were  all 
cracked  or  broken  out,  the  floors  and  walls  looked  as  if  they 
had  never  known  soap  or  paint,  and  the  upper  rooms  had  no 
ceilings  ;  in  fact  it  was  not  fit  for  any  civilised  Christian  to 
live  in.  In  point  of  size  there  was  nothing  to  complain  of, 
but  of  comfort  or  convenience  there  was  none, — the  wind 
whistled  through  every  door  and  every  cracked  window ;  and 
altogether  it  presented  anything  but  a  cheering  prospect  for 

My  husband  told  me  that  Daniel  H.  Wells,  who  was  super- 
intendent of  Church  property  and  also  one  of  the  First 
Presidency  of  the  Church,  had  promised  him  that  if  we  took 
the  house  it  should  be  repaired  and  made  fit  for  living  in,  be- 
fore winter  fully  set  in  ;  and  under  the  circumstances  we 
thought  we  could  do  no  better  than  accept  his  offer. 

Thus  we  began  housekeeping  in  Utah,  and  we  unpacked 
our  trunks  and  tried  to  give  the  place  as  home-like  an  appear- 
ance as  we  possibly  could.  I  had  known  what  it  was  to  be  in 
a  strange  country  and  destitute  ;  and,  therefore,  benefiting  by 
experience,  when  I  left  New  York,  regardless  of  the  teachings 
of  the  Elders  and  of  my  own  husband's  directions  to  the  con- 
trary, I  had  secretly  stowed  away  many  little  necessaries 
towards  housekeeping.  Indeed,  had  I  not  done  so,  we  should 
have  been  as  badly  off  when  we  reached  Zion  as  when  we  ar- 
rived in  New  York.  Besides  which,  I  have  no  doubt  that  our 
wagons  would  have  been  filled  with  the  trunks  of  those  very 
brethren  who  counselled  us  not  to  take  more  than  was  abso- 


lately  necessary.  The  brethren  who  gave  this  counsel  were, 
I  noticed,  constantly  purchasing  while  they  advised  every- 
one else  to  sell,  and  I  thought  it  wiser  to  follow  their  example 
than  their  precepts. 

Among  my  treasures  was  some  carpet,  and  when  that  was 
laid  down  and  the  stove  put  up  we  began  to  feel  almost  at 
home.  The  wind,  however,  soon  drove  away  all  thoughts  of 
comfort,  for  it  came  whistling  in  through  a  thousand  undetec- 
ted crevices,  and  the  tallow  candles  which  we  were  obliged  to 
burn  presented  a  woful  spectacle.  Even  the  most  wealthy, 
then,  had  no  other  light  but  candles,  and  every  family  had  to 
make  their  own  :  I  have  often  seen  people  burning  a  little 
melted  grease  with  a  bit  of  cotton-rag  stuck  in  the  middle 
for  a  wick — how  pleasant  the  smell,  and  how  brilliant  the  light 
thus  produced  can  be  imagined.  Everything  was  upon  the 
same  scale — and  to  keep  house  in  any  fashion  was  really  a 
formidable  undertaking,  especially  to  those  who  had  been  ac- 
customed to  the  conveniences  of  large  towns.  I  believe  that 
many  women  consented  to  their  husbands  taking  other  wives 
for  the  sake  of  getting  some  assistance  in  their  home  duties. 

We  spent  nearly  all  the  first  evening  in  our  new  house  ni 
trying  to  discover  some  means  of  keeping  out  the  storm, 
but  to  little  purpose.  Nearly  a  fortnight  passed  before  any  one 
came  to  see  about  repairing  the  house,  but  as  it  belonged  to  the 
Church  my  husband  seemed  to  think  it  must  all  be  right. 
The  Mormon  men  are  always  very  lenient  towards  "the 
Church  " — very  much  more  so  than  the  Mormon  women,  for 
the  latter  have  somehow  got  mixed  up  in  their  minds  the  idea 
that  Brigham  Young  and  "  the  Church "  are  synonymous 
terms.  I  remember  one  day  a  good  young  sister — a  daughter 
of  one  of  the  twelve  Apostles — saying  to  me,  "  I  have  just  seen 
the  Church,"  and  when  I  asked  her  what  she  meant,  she  said: 
"  I  have  just  met  Brigham  Young  and  Hyram  Clawson,  and 
are  they  not  the  Church  .''"  It  was  evident  to  me  that  others 
besides  myself  sometimes  gave  way  to  wicked  thoughts. 
Nevertheless  I  was  still  of  opinion  that  "  the  Church  "  had 
plenty  of  money  and  ought  to  have  repaired  the  house. 


One  day  a  man  whom  I  had  never  seen  before,  called  upon 
me  and  asked  what  repairs  I  should  like  done.  I  was  not 
feeling  very  well,  and  had  been  annoyed  at  the  delay,  and  I 
answered  rather  ungraciously  that  I  should  like  anything  done, 
if  only  it  were  done  at  once,  for  I  thought  we  had  waited  long 
enough.  He  answered  me  very  politely  and  said  that  he  would 
see  to  it  immediately.  When  Mr.  Stenhouse  returned  home 
in  the  evening  he  said  :  "  So  you  have  had  a  visit  from  Presi- 
dent Wells."  "  No,"  I  said,  "  there  has  been  no  one  here  but 
a  carpenter — an  ugly  man  with  a  cast  in  his  eye,  and  I  told 
him  that  I  wanted  the  house  fixed  right  away." 

"  Why,  that  was  President  Wells,"  he  said,  very  much 
shocked,  and  I  think  I  felt  as  bad  as  he  did  when  I  realised 
that  I  had  treated  one  of  the  "  First  Presidency  "  so  uncere- 

This  Daniel  H.  Wells,  besides  being  an  Apostle,  a  Counsel- 
lor of  Brigham  Young,  and  one  of  the  three  "  Presidents  " 
who  share  with  Brigham  the  first  position  in  the  Church,  and 
are  associated  with  him  in  all  his  official  acts,  was  Lieutenant- 
General  of  the  Nauvoo  Legion,  and  at  the  present  time  and 
for  some  years  past,  Mayor  of  Salt  Lake  City.  It  was  a 
shocking  indiscretion,  to  say  the  least,  to  speak  slightingly  of 
such  a  high  and  mighty  personage. 

The  repairs,  however,  were  seen  to,  and  the  house  rendered 
a  little  more  habitable.  We  had  now  to  begin  the  struggle  of 
life  afresh  and  could  not  afford  to  be  too  particular  about 
trifles  ; — to  obtain  shelter  was  something — for  the  rest  we 
must  still  continue  to  hope  and  trust. 



Some  Personal  Observations — An  Innocent  Prophet — Living  Witnesses  of  the 
Truth — How  Salt  Lake  City  was  Laid  Out  and  Built — The  Houses  of  Many- 
Wived  Men — My  First  Sunday  in  the  Tabernacle — Curious  Millinery  of  Lady- 
Saints — Two  Remarkable  Young  Ladies — A  Doubtful  Experiment — How 
Service  is  Conducted  in  the  Tabernacle — Extraordinary  Sermons — Deceitful 
Dealings  of  the  Original  Prophet — Why  Joseph,  the  "  Seer,"  Married  Miss 
Snow — Another  of  the  Prophet's  Wives — A  Shameful  Story — Aunty  Shearer, 
and  her  Funny  Ways — Spiritual  Wives  and  Proxy  Wives — How  the  Saints 
are  Married  for  Time  and  for  Eternity — Concerning  Certain  Generous  Elders 
— How  Wives  are  Secretly  "Sealed" — Extraordinary  Request  of  One  of 
Brigham's  Wives — "The  Next  Best  Thing" — Mormon  Ideas  of  the  Marriage 
at  C ana — The  "Fixins"  of  a  Mormon  Husband — How  "The  Kingdom"  is 
Built  Up — Women  Only  to  be  Saved  by  Their  Husbands — A  Painful  Story — 
A  Very  Cautious  Woman — A  Woman  Who  Wanted  to  be  "Queen" — A 
Deceitful  Lover— ^A  Strange  Home-Picture — "These  Constitute  My  King- 
dom " — Forebodings. 

WITH  the  eager  observation  of  a  woman  who  has  a  great 
personal  interest  at  stake,  I  took  note  of  everything  in 
Zion  which  was  new  to  me,  and  especially  all  that  related  to 
the  system  of  plural  marriages,  and  all  my  worst  fears  were 
abundantly  realised. 

Although  I  had  looked  at  the  dark  side  of  Mormonism  and 
had  pictured  with  horror  the  life  of  women  in  Polygamy,  there 
were  nevertheless  some  truths  which  broke  upon  my  mind  with 
painful  effect.  In  England  we  had  heard  so  frequently  from 
the  lips  of  the  Apostles  and  Elders  that  not  only  was  Poly- 
gamy contrary  to  the  teachings  of  Joseph  Smith,  but  that  it 
was  utterly  unknown  in  Nauvoo  during  the  Prophet's  life- 

THE    CITY    OF    THE    SAINTS.  24/ 

time.  Directly  the  Revelation  was  published,  we,  of  course, 
knew  that  if  it  really  proceeded  from  Joseph  he  could  not 
have  been  so  innocent  of  Polygamy  as  we  had  been  taught ; 
but  I  was  hardly  prepared  to  meet  several  of  his  wives  out  in 
Utah  ;  and  yet  almost  the  first  thing  that  I  heard  was  that 
there  were  living  in  Salt  Lake  City,  ladies  well-known  and 
respected,  who  had  been  sealed  to  the  Prophet.  This  I  after- 
wards found  was  true. 

The   Mormon   Colony  in   Salt    Lake   City  had  at  first  to 
contend   with   all  those  difficulties    and   submit   to  all  those 
privations  which  beset  the  path  of  all  new  settlers  in  a  strange 
country.     Until   very   recently   the   greater   number   of   the 
dwellings  were  small  and  low,  like  so  many  little  huts,  and 
not  infrequently  you  might  see  a  row  of  these  huts,  with  one 
window  and  a  door  to  each,  and,  inside,  a  wife,  a  bedstead, 
two  chairs  and  a  table — with  poverty  to  crown  the  whole. 
But  even  then  might  be  seen  in  the  laying  out  of  the  streets, 
and   in   the  other  arrangements,  the  germs  of  a  great  city. 
The  roadways  were  broad  and  the  sidewalks  convenient,  and 
provision  was  made — more  with  an  eye  to  the  future  than  to 
present  necessity— for  a  great  depth  in  the  measurement  of 
the  houses  and  blocks.     Down  the  sides  of  the  streets  flowed 
a  sparkling  stream — the  water  of  which  was  brought  from  the 
mountains  for  the  purpose  of  irrigating  the  gardens  in  the 
city ;  and,  as  far  as  they  possibly  could,  the  settlers  marked 
out  and  planned  a  capital  worthy  of  that  name  for  the  Mor- 
mon people. 

When  I  arrived  in  Salt  Lake  City,  a  great  many  improve- 
ments had  been  effected ;  and  expecting,  as  I  did,  that  this 
would  be  our  future  home  for  many  years,  perhaps  for  life,  I 
was  interested  in  everything  that  I  saw.  But  even  then,  in 
merely  taking  a  walk  about  the  city,  I  met  with  evidences  of 
the  degrading  teachings  of  Polygamy — I  saw  that  little  defer- 
ence was  paid  to  the  women,  they  were  rudely  jostled  at  the 
crossings,  and  seemed  to  be  generally  uncared  for.  Since  the 
completion  of  the  railway  and  the  consequent  influx  o£ 
Gentiles,  this,  of  course,  has  not  been  noticeable. 

248  PROPHET  !    WHAT    OF    THE    FUNDS  ? 

The  city  is  built  on  a  slope  formed  by  a  bend  in  the 
mountain-range.  Brigham  Young's  house  is  on  the  northern 
side,  and  has  a  commanding  prospect.  The  Tabernacle  and 
tithing-office  are  in  the  same  street.  The  Tabernacle  is  a 
plain-looking  building  entirely  devoid  of  any  architectural 
beauty.  It  stands  in  the  block  where  the  Temple,  which  has 
been  building  for  the  last  quarter  of  a  century,  and  is  now 
only  a  few  feet  above  ground,  is  waiting  to  be  finished. 
Nearly  twenty-six  years  ago  Brigham  wrote  to  Orson  Spencer, 
the  President  of  the  Mormon  Church  in  England,  urging  him 
to  "  gather  up  as  much  tithing  as  he  possibly  could,  for  glass, 
nails,  paint,  &c.,  to  assist  in  building  up  the  Temple  of  the 
Lord  in  the  Valley  of  the  Great  Salt  Lake."  A  large  sum  of 
money  was  collected,  and  millions  have  been  raised  by  tithing 
and  by  other  means,  but  there  has  been  no  one  hitherto  with 
courage  and  authority  sufficient  to  demand  of  the  Prophet  an 
account  of  those  funds,  and  the  interest  and  compound  interest 
which  should  be  accruing  thereunto. 

The  first  Sunday  I  went  to  the  Tabernacle  I  was  greatly 
amused  at  the  way  in  which  some  of  the  sisters  were  dressed. 
Quite  a  number  wore  sun-bonnets,  but  the  majority  wore 
curious  and  diverse  specimens  of  the  milliner's  art — relics  of 
former  days.  Some  wore  a  little  tuft  of  gauze  and  feathers 
on  the  top  of  the  head,  while  others  had  helmets  of  extraor- 
dinary size.  There  were  little  bonnets,  half-grown  bonnets, 
and  "  grandmother  bonnets  "  with  steeple  crowns  and  fronts 
so  large  that  it  was  difficult  to  get  a  peep  at  the  faces  which 
they  concealed.  As  for  the  dresses,  they  were  as  diversified 
as  the  bonnets.  Some  of  them  presented  a  rather  curious 
spectacle.  I  noticed  two  young  women  who  sat  near  me : 
they  were  dressed  alike  in  green  calico  sun-bonnets,  green 
calico  skirts,  and  pink  calico  sacks.  On  enquiring  who  they 
were,  I  was  told  that  they  were  the  wives  of  one  man  and 
had  both  been  married  to  him  on  the  same  day,  so  that 
neitjier  could  claim  precedence  of  the  other.  Outside  of 
Utah  such  a  thing  would  seem  impossible,  but  so  many  of  the 
young  girls  at  that  time  came  out  to  Zion  without  father  or 


mother  or  any  one  else  to  guide  them,  and  left  to  their  own 
inexperience  and  afraid  to  disobey  "  counsel "  it  is  no  wonder 
that  they  soon  yielded  to  the  universal  custom. 

The  two  young  women  whom  I  have  mentioned,  did  not 
appear  to  me  to  be  overburdened  with  intelligence;  they 
looked  like  girls  who  could  be  made  to  believe  anything  ;  but 
after  that  I  met  with  two  well-educated  women  who,  like  these 
foolish  girls,  thoughtlessly  tried  the  experiment  of  two  or 
more  marrying  the  same  man  on  the  same  day, — agreeing 
with  their  "  lord  "  that  that  would  be  the  best  way  to  preserve 
peace  in  their  household.  But  they  were  terribly  mistaken, 
and  even  before  the  marriage-day  was  over,  the  poor  bewild- 
ered husband  had  to  fly  to  brother  Brigham  for  counsel. 

The  Tabernacle  services  seemed  to  me  as  strange  as  the 
women.  There  was  no  regular  order  in  conducting  the  pro- 
ceedings, but  the  prominent  brethren  made  prayers,  or  "  ser- 
mons "  as  they  were  called  upon  to  do  so.  The  "  sermons  "  would 
be  more  properly  called  speeches — they  were  nothing  but  a 
rambling,  disconnected  glorification  of  the  Saints,  interspersed 
with  fearful  denunciations  of  the  Gentiles,  and  not  infre- 
quently a  good  sprinkling  of  words  and  expressions  such  as 
are  never  used  in  decent  society.  More  unedifying  discourses 
could  hardly  be  imagined.  As  for  the  spirituality  and  devo- 
tional feeling  which  characterised  our  meetings  in  England, 
they  were  only  conspicuous  by  their  absence,  and  many 
devout  Saints  have  told  me  that  when  they  first  went  there — 
before  the  erection  of  the  great  organ — the  free-and-easy 
manners  of  the  speakers  and  the  brass  band  which  was  then 
stationed  in  front  of  the  platform,  made  them  feel  as  if  they 
had  come  to  witness  a  puppet-show,  rather  than  to  attend  a 
religious  meeting. 

There  was  one  lady  at  the  Tabernacle  service  whom  I 
regarded  with  considerable  interest.  This  was  no  other  than 
Eliza  R.  Snow,  one  of  the  Prophet's  wives.  I  was  told  that 
she  was  the  first  woman  married  in  Polygamy  after  Joseph 
Smith  received  the  Revelation,  and  I  believe  it  was  so.  People 
who  lived  in  Nauvoo,  respectable  people,  and  not  one  or  two 

252  E.    R.    S. — HIGH-PRIESTESS    OF    THE    CHURCH. 

either,  have  assured  me  that  for  four  years  before  Joseph  is 
said  to  have  received  the  Revelation,  he  was  practicing  Poly- 
gamy, or  something  worse,  and  that  the  Revelation  was  given 
to  justify  what  was  already  done.  After  it  was  given,  or  said 
to  be  given,  Joseph  and  his  brother  Hyrum  cut  off  from  the 
Church  more  than  one  person  for  preaching  it,  and  nine  years 
more  passed  away  during  which  the  Mormon  Elders  every- 
where most  emphatically  and  solemnly  denied  it,  before  it  was 
publicly  avowed.  However  this  might  be,  it  is  generally 
understood  that  Eliza  Snow  was  the  first  plural  wife  of  the 
Prophet,  and  I  was  told  by  a  lady  from  Nauvoo  that  Joseph 
did  not  care  much  for  her,  but  that  she  was  getting  to  be 
quite  a  querulous  old  maid,  and  he  married  her  to  keep  her 
tongue  quiet.  If  that  is  true  she  has  entirely  changed  her 
tactics  since  she  left  Nauvoo,  for  her  principal  occupation  at 
the  present  time  is  converting  rebellious  wives  to  obedience 
to  their  husbands  and  convincing  young  girls  that  it  is  their 
duty  to  enter  into  Polygamy.  Unhappy  husbands  derive 
great  consolation  from  her  counsels.  In  matters  of  religion 
she  is  a  perfect  fanatic,  and  in  connection  with  the  Female 
Relief  Society  she  reigns '  supreme  ;  but  otherwise  there  are 
many  excellent  traits  in  her  character,  and-  I  could  tell  of 
many  acts  of  loving-kindness  and  self-denial  which  she  has 
performed,  and  which  will  surely  have  their  reward.  She  is 
said  to  have  been  tolerably  good-looking  when  young,  but  in 
appearance  there  is  nothing  now  to  distinguish  her.  As  the 
chief  poet  of  the  Mormon  Church,  and  as  the  representative 
of  Eve  in  the  mysteries  of  the  Endowment  House,  she  enjoys 
a  reputation  such  as  would  be  impossible  to  any  other  woman 
among  the  Saints. 

Another  of  the  late  Joseph's  wives  is  a  Mrs.  Doctor  Jacobs, 
who  was  actually  married  to  the  Prophet  while  she  was  still 
living  with  her  original  husband,  Jacobs.  Under  the  same 
circumstances  she  married  Brigham  Young,  after  Joseph's 
death.  P'or  some  time  her  husband  knew  nothing  of  the 
whole  aftair,  but  Brigham  very  soon  gave  him  to  understand 
that  his  company  was  not  wanted.     The  sister  of  Mrs.  Jacobs 


—a  Mrs.  Buel — was  another  of  Joseph's  wives,  and  she  mar- 
ried the  Apostle  Heber  C.  Kimball,  but  does  not  appear  to 
have  made  a  very  good  bargain. 

Besides  these  there  is  another  lady,  a  Mrs.  Shearer — or  as 
she  is  familiarly  called — "  Aunty  Shearer."  She  is  in  every 
respect  a  unique  specimen  of  womanhood,  tall  and  angular, 
with  cold  yet  eager  grey  eyes,  a  woman  of  great  volubility, 
and  altogether  grim-looking  and  strong-minded.  She  was  an 
early  disciple  and  is  said  to  have  sacrificed  everything  for 
Mormonism,  She  lived  in  Joseph  Smith's  family,  and,  of 
course,  saw  and  heard  a  great  deal  about  Polygamy,  and  at 
first  it  was  a  great  stumbling-block  to  her.  She  was,  however, 
instructed  by  the  immaculate  Joseph,  and  so  far  managed  to 
overcome  her  feelings  as  to  be  married  to  him  for  eternity. 
Like  the  others  she  is  called  "  Mrs.,"  and  I  suppose  there  is  a 
Mr.  Shearer  somewhere,  but  upon  that  point  she  is  very 
reticent.  Her  little  lonely  hut  is  filled  with  innumerable 
curiosities  and  little  nick-nacks  which  some  people  are  for 
ever  hoarding  away  in  the  belief  that  they  will  come  into  use 
some  day.  She  is  a  woman  that  one  could  not  easily  forget. 
She  wears  a  muslin  cap  with  a  very  wide  border  flapping  in 
the  wind  under  a  comical-looking  hood,  and  is  easily  recog- 
nised by  her  old  yellow  marten-fur  cape  and  enormous  muff : 
her  dress,  which  is  of  her  own  spinning  and  weaving,  is  but 
just  wide  enough,  and  its  length  could  never  inconvenience 
her.  Add  to  these  personal  ornaments  a  stout  pair  of 
brogues,  and  you  will  see  before  you  "  Aunty  Shearer,"  one 
of  the  Prophet's  spiritual  wives. 

I  may  as  well  explain  what  is  meant  by  "spiritual"  wives  and 
"  proxy  "  wives. 

Marriages  contracted  by  the  Gentiles,  or  by  Mormons  in 
accordance  with  Gentile  institutions,  are  not  considered  bind- 
ing by  the  Saints.  That  was  partly  the  cause  of  my  indigna- 
tion and  the  indignation  of  many  another  wife  and  mother — 
we  were  told  that  we  had  never  been  married  at  all,  and  that 
our  husbands  and  our  children  were  not  lawfully  ours :  surely 
that  was  enough  to  excite  the  indignation  of  any  wife,  what- 

254   "ow  "proxy"  and  "spiritual"  wives  are  "sealed." 

ever  her  faith  might  be.  For  a  marriage  to  be  vaUd  it  must 
be  solemnized  in  the  Endowment  House  in  Salt  Lake  City, 
or  the  persons  contracting  it  can  never  expect  to  be  husband 
and  wife  in  eternity.  Should  the  husband  die  before  he 
reaches  Zion,  and  if  the  wife  loves  him  sufficiently  well  to 
wish  to  be  his  in  eternity — when  she  arrives  in  Salt  Lake  City, 
if  she  receives  an  offer  of  marriage  from  one  of  the  brethren, 
and  does  not  object  to  him  as  a  second  husband  in  this  world, 
she  will  make  an  agreement  with  him  that  she  will  be  his 
wife  for  time,  but  that  in  eternity  she  and  all  her  children 
shall  be  handed  over  to  the  first  husband.  A  woman  thus 
married  is  called  a  "proxy"  wife.  It  can  well  be  understood 
that  if  the  lady  had  lost  her  youth  and  good  looks  there 
would  be  very  little  chance  of  her  husband  seeing  her  again 
in  eternity,  as  there  would  not  be  too  many  willing  to  stand 
proxy  for  him,  and  in  that  case  he  would  have  to  depend  upon 
the  generosity  of  friends. 

Now  "  spiritual "  wives  are  of  two  classes.  The  one  con- 
sists of  old  ladies  who  have  plenty  of  money  or  property 
which  of  course  needs  looking  after ;  and  generous  Elders 
marry  them,  and  accordingly  "  look  after  "  that  same  property, 
and  the  owner  of  it  becomes  the  Elder's  spiritual  wife.  She 
will  only  be  his  real  wife  in  eternity  when  she  is  rejuvenated 
— the  prospect  of  which  rejuvenation  is,  I  suppose,  very 
fascinating  to  some  men,  for  I  have  known  quite  youthful 
Elders  who  displayed  their  self-sacrificing  spirit  by  marrying 
"spiritually"  very  old,  but  very  wealthy,  ladies. 

The  other  kind  of  "  spiritual "  wife  is  one  who  is  married 
already,  but  who  does  not  think  that  her  husband  can  "exalt" 
her  to  so  high  a  position  in  the  celestial  world  as  she  deserves ; 
— perhaps  some  kind  brother  who  takes  a  great  interest  in 
her  welfare  has  told  her  so — she  then  is  secretly  "sealed''  to 
one  of  the  brethren  who  is  better  able  to  exalt  her — perhaps 
to  this  same  brother ;  and  in  the  resurrection  she  will  pass 
from  him  who  was  her  husband  on  earth  to  him  who  is  to  be 
her  husband  in  heaven — if  she  has  not  done  so  before. 

This  is  what  is  meant  by  "proxy  "and  "spiritual"  wives. 


I  think  it  will  be  evident  even  to  the  dullest  comprehension 
that  under  such  a  system,  "  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the 
devil "  are  far  more  likely  to  play  a  prominent  part  than  any- 
thing heavenly  or  spiritual. 

All  this  is  so  repugnant  to  the  instincts  and  feelings  of  a 
true  woman,  that  I  feel  quite  ashamed  to  write  about  it.  And 
yet  the  working  out  of  this  system  has  produced  results  which 
would  be  perfectly  grotesque  were  it  not  that  they  outrage 
every  ordinary  sense  of  propriety.  Let  me  give  an  example. 
One  of  the  wives  of  Brigham  Young — Mrs.  Augusta  Cobb 
Young — a  highly  educated  and  inteUigent  Boston  lady  with 
whom  I  am  intimately  acquainted,  requested  of  her  Prophet- 
husband  a  favor  of  a  most  extraordinary  description.  She 
had  forsaken  her  lawful  husband  and  family  and  a  happy  and 
luxurious  home  to  join  the  Saints,  under  the  impression  that 
Brigham  Young  would  make  her  his  queen  in  heaven.  She 
was  a  handsome  woman — a  woman  of  many  gifts  and  graces, 
and  Brigham  thoroughly  appreciated  her  ;  but  she  made  a 
slight  miscalculation  in  respect  to  the  Prophet.  He  cares 
little  enough  for  his  first  wife,  poor  lady,  and  few  people  who 
know  him  doubt  for  a  moment  that  he  would  un-queen  her 
and  cut  her  adrift  for  time  and  eternity  too,  if  his  avaricious 
soul  saw  the  slightest  prospect  of  gain  by  doing  so — he  did 
not  care  for  her,  but  he  never  would  allow  himself  to  be 
dictated  to  by  any  woman.  So  when  the  lady  of  v/hom  I 
speak  asked  him  to  place  her  at  the  head  of  his  household,  he 
refused  :  she  begged  hard,  but  he  would  not  relent.  Then 
finding  that  she  could  not  be  Brigham's  "queen,"  and  having 
been  taught  by  the  highest  Mormon  Authorities  that  our 
Saviour  had,  and  has,  many  wives,  she  requested  to  be 
"  sealed  "  to  Him  !  Brigham  Young  told  her  (for  what  reason 
I  do  not  know)  that  it  really  was  out  of  his  power  to  do  that, 
but  that  he  would  do  "the  next  best  thing"  for  her— he  would 
"  seal "  her  to  Joseph  Smith.  So  she  was  sealed  to  Joseph 
Smith,  and  though  Brigham  still  supports  her  and  she  is 
called  by  his  name  on  earth,  in  the  resurrection  she  will  leave, 
him  and  go  over  to  the  original  Prophet. 

256  WHAT    IS    A    "FIXIN?" 

The  reader  will  certainly  be  shocked  at  this  terrible  bur- 
lesque of  sacred  things,  but  I  felt  it  my  duty  to  state  the  truth 
and  place  facts  in  their  right  light.  It  is  not  generally  known 
that  the  Mormons  are  taught  that  the  marriage  at  Cana  of 
Galilee  was  Christ's  own  nuptial  feast,  that  Mary  and  Martha 
were  his  plural  wives,  and  that  those  women  who  in  various 
parts  of  the  New  Testament  are  spoken  of  as  ministering  to 
him  stood  to  him  in  the  same  relation. 

Malicious  first  wives,  especially  if  they  are  rather  elderly 
themselves,  frequently  call  the  proxy  wives  "  fixins  ; "  and  the 
tone  in  which  some  of  them  utter  the  word  is  in  the  last  de- 
gree contemptuous.  These  poor  "  fixins  "  are  seldom  treated 
as  real  wives  by  the  husband  himself.  He  may  think  suffi- 
ciently well  of  the  "  proxy  "  wife  to  make  her  his  for  time  and 
to  raise  up  children  to  his  friend,  as  the  Elders  say,  but  he 
never  forgets  that  in  eternity  she  will  be  handed  over  to  the 
man  for  whom  he  has  stood  proxy,  and  he  expects  that  she 
also  will  bear  that  in  mind,  and  do  all  she  c'an  for  her  own 
•support,  and  never  complain  of  his  want  of  attention  to  her. 
Some  men,  after  having  married  a  young  proxy  wife,  have  be- 
come so  enamored  that  they  grew  jealous  of  the  dead  husband, 
and  have  tried  to  get  the  wife  to  break  faith  with  him,  and  be 
married  to  them  for  eternity  as  well  as  time.  This  was  cer- 
tainly rather  mean.  Very  few  Gentile  husbands  would  fret 
themselves  about  possibilities  in  the  world  to  come,  if  in  this 
world  they  had  the  certainty  of  enjoying  the  undivided  affec- 
tions of  their  wives. 

Mormon  husbands  are  so  influenced  by  their  religion  that 
they  neither  act  nor  think  like  other  men.  I  am  thinking  of 
one  wretched  family  that  I  knew  soon  after  I  went  to  Utah. 
There  was  a  man  and  his  wife  and  four  children,  all  living 
together  in  a  miserable,  poverty-stricken  hut.  I  had  heard 
that  the  man  was  paying  attentions  to  a  young  girl  with  a  view 
to  making  her  his  second  wife,  and  I  frequently  watched  the 
first  wife  as  she  went  in  and  out,  doing  her  chores,  and  won- 
dered how  she  felt  about  it.  The  poverty  of  the  man,  of 
course,  was  of  no  consequence  ;  living  in   the  primitive  style 

"SHE    WOULD    ONLY    BE    AN    ANGEL  !  "  2$/ 

In  which  necessity  then  compelled  the  Saints  to  live,  one  or 
even  half-a-dozen  extra  wives,  made  very  little  difference,  and 
Brigham  and  the  leading  Elders  have  always  represented  it  as 
a  meritorious  act,  for  the  young  especially,  to  ''  build  up  the 
kingdom,"  without  regard  to  consequences,  or  the  misery  of 
bringing  up  a  family  in  a  destitute  condition.  I  never  can  see 
children  without  loving  them,  and  in  this  case  it  was  not  long 
before  I  contrived  to  make  acquaintance^with  the  little  ones. 
One  day,  while  I  was  talking  to  them,  the  mother  came  out. 
She  seemed  pleased  to  see  me,  for  she  had  heard  of  me  that  I 
was  not  too  strong  in  the  faith,  and  she  told  me  that  her  hus- 
band had  said,  in  speaking  of  such  women  as  myself,  who  did 
not  like  the  celestial  order  of  marriage,  that  their  husbands 
ought  to  force  them  right  into  it,  and  that  would  show  what 
they  were  made  of  :  if  they  were  true-hearted  women  seeking 
their  husband's  glory  and  "  exaltation  "  in  the  world  to  come, 
they  would  bear  it  well  enough  ;•  and,  if  not,  the  sooner  it 
killed  them  the  better  ;  for  if  they  were  dead  their  husbands 
could  save  them  in  the  resurrection,  but  if  they  lived  they 
would  only  be  an  incumbrance. 

This,  I  found,  was  the  general  opinion  among  the  Mormon 
men.  Even  in  England,  the  American  Elders  had  taught  us 
that  the  man  was  the  head  and  "  saviour"  of  the  woman,  and  that 
the  woman  was  only  responsible  to  her  husband.  It  was  ne- 
cessary, we  were  told,  that  the  woman  should  keep  in  favor 
with  her  lord,  otherwise  he  might  withdraw  his  protection  and 
refuse  to  take  her  into  the  celestial  kingdom  ;  in  which  case 
when  she  got  to  heaven  she  would  only  be  an  anc:el !  To  be 
an  angel  is  not  considered  by  the  Saints  to  be  t)y  any  means 
the  highest  state  of  glory.  Those  who  do  not  obey  the  "  Celes- 
tial Order  of  Marriage"  will,  like  the  angels,  neither  marry  nor 
be  given  in  marriage  ;  they  will  be  located,  the  men  in  one 
place,  and  the  women  in  another,  and  will  serve  as  slaves,  lack- 
eys, and  boot-blacks  to  the  Saints.  Brigham  Young  once 
publicly  said  of  a  certain  President  of  the  United  States,  that 
he  would  clean  the  boots  of  the  Mormon  leaders  in  heaven, 
He  did  not  say  this  as  a  figure  of  speech,  but  meant  it  hter- 


ally.  Those  who  have  obeyed  the  Gospel  of  the  new  dispen- 
sation, but  who  have  failed  to  enter  into  Polygamy  will  be  as 
upper  servants,  but  the  rebellious — the  "  vile  apostates,"  and  the 
"  wicked  Gentiles  "  will  join  the  angels  and  do  all  the  drudg- 
ery for  the  men  of  many  wives.  Thus  I  learned  in  Zion  that 
my  youthful  notions  about  the  glory  of  the  cherubim  were 
quite  a  mistake,  and  that  it  was  not  such  a  fine  thing  to  be  an 
angel,  after  all.  « 

But  I  have  run  away  from  my  story,  and  had  almost 
forgotten  my  poor  acquaintance.  She  was  a  woman  who  was 
likely  to  preserve  a  painful  place  in  the  memory  of  any  one 
who  once  saw  her.  Her  face  was  pale  as  death,  and  her  jet- 
black  eyes  glistened  with  an  unearthly  lustre  ;  it  was  easy  to 
perceive  that  she  was  very  unhappy,  although  she  tried  hard 
to  exhibit  a  cheerful  disposition,  and  when  our  conversation 
turned  to  that  subject  which  to  women  here  is  all-absorbing, 
the  nervous  twitching  of  her  pale  face  showed  how  deeply  pain- 
ful such  thoughts  were  to  her.  She  told  me  that  her  husband 
was  soon  to  be  married  to  a  young  girl  about  fourteen  years 
of  age.  "  Do  you  see,"  she  said,  "  that  he  is  building  for  her  .-*" 
And  sure  enough  he  was,  at  odd  hours,  adding  another  hut  to 
the  miserable  hovel  in  which  they  already  lived ;  and  thither, 
when  it  was  finished,  he  intended  to  take  his  bride.  As  I 
looked  at  the  poor  wife,  I  felt  little  doubt,  that  ere  that  time 
came,  her  troubles  on  earth  would  have  ended  and  her  little 
ones  would  be  motherless. 

The  Mormon  women,  as  well  as  the  Mormon  men,  are  noted 
for  attending  to  their  own  business — they  do  not  care  to  tell 
their  sorrows  and  trials  to  strangers  or  to  people  who  are 
not  of  their  own  faith.  In  this  way  visitors  to  Salt  Lake  who 
have  gone  there  with  the  intention  of  "  writing-up"  the  Saints  in 
the  newspapers  or  in  a  book,  have  generally  been  misled.  My 
own  experience  as  a  Mormon  woman  leads  me  to  form  any- 
thing but  a  flattering  opinion  of  the  Mormon  stories  told  by 
Gentile  pens.  The  following  instance  will  show  that  the  sis- 
ters are  not  quite  so  free  in  giving  their  experience  as  some 
writers  would  suggest. 


One  day,  while  passing  through  the  city,  I  saw  a  young 
woman  running  across  the  road  with  a  Httle  child  in  her  arms. 
The  child  was  crying  piteously,  for  the  water  was  running 
from  its  clothing,  and  I  saw  in  a  moment  that  it  had  fallen 
into  the  stream  which  ran  in  front  of  the  house.  I  fol- 
lowed, to  see  if  I  could  be  of  any  assistance,  but  fortunately 
found  that  the  little  creature  was  not  seriously  hurt,  but  would 
soon  recover  from  the  fright  and  cold.  I  helped  the  mother 
to  change  its  clothing,  and  while  she  was  lulling  her  baby  to 
sleep,  we  entered  into  conversation.  At  first  she  appeared  to 
be  very  shy  of  me,  and  avoided  speaking  of  anything  in  the 
slightest  degree  personal  ;  but  growing  more  interested,  she 
said  at  last : 

"  Are  you  a  Mormon  .''" 

"  Certainly,"  I  answered,  "  but  why  do  you  ask  me  .''" 

"  Because,"  she  said,  "  We  have  had  one  or  two  Gentile 
women  among  us,  and  they  go  round  among  our  people  and 
question  the  women,  and  get  them  to  tell  their  troubles,  which 
God  knows  are  heavy  enough,  and  then  they  go  and  write 
about  it,  and  Brigham  Young  finds  it  out,  and  their  husbands 
are  called  to  account  for  allowing  their  wives  to  speak  to  the 
Gentiles.  You  are  sure  you  are  a  Mormon  .-*"  she  added, 
"  and  you  are  not  deceiving  me  ?" 

"  I'm  sorry  you  should  think  such  a  thing,"  I  said,  "  but  if 
you  suppose  I  would  deceive  you,  I  will  not  trouble  you  with 
my  company."     And  I  rose  up  to  leave. 

"  Do  not  go  yet,"  she  said,  "  and  pray  forgive  me  if  I  have 
wounded  your  feelings  ;  it  is  simply  the  fear  I  have  of  getting 
into  trouble.  Brigham  Young  and  the  Elders  have  frequently 
told  us  to  have  nothing  to  do  with  the  Gentiles,  for  they  are 
enemies  to  the  kingdom  of  God,  and  are  seeking  our  over- 
throw— and  I  suppose  it  is  true." 

"  How  long  have  you  been  here .''"  I  asked. 

"  Over  two  years,"  she  replied,"  and  it  seems  almost  twenty 
— time  has  passed  so  slowly.  I  left  father  and  mother,  sis- 
ters and  brother  for  the  Gospel's  sake,  and  I  do  not  regret  it, 
because  it  is  right,  but  it  was  a  very  great  sacrifice  to  make. 


Yet  I  believe  that  God  blesses  us  for  the  sacrifices  we  make, 
and  I  shall  get  my  reward." 

"  You  have  it  already,"  I  said,  '•  in  that  pretty  child  on 
your  knee,  and  your  husband,  I  hope,  is  a  good  man  and 
kind  to  you." 

"  Yes,"  she  anwered,  "  my  child  is  a  very  great  source  of 
happiness  to  me,  and  I  love  my  husband  very  much  but — " 
(hesitatingly)  "arej^?^  in  Polygamy.''" 

"  No,  not  yet,  but  I  do  not  know  how  soon  my  husband  may 
take  it  into  his  head  to  get  another  wife." 

"  Are  you  first  wife  .''"  she  asked. 

"  Yes,"  I  replied,  "  and  I  suppose  you  are  also  .<•" 

"  No,  I  am  third  wife,"  she  said,  "  I  wish  I  were  first  wife." 

"  But  why,"  I  suggested,  "  do  you  wish  that .''  If  Polygamy 
is  the  true  order  of  marriage,  I  do  not  see  that  it  makes 
much  difference  whether  one  is  the  first  or  the  twentieth  wife  ?" 

"  Oh  dear,  yes,"  she  replied,  "  it  does  make  a  great  deal  of 
difference ;  for  the  first  wife  will  be  queen  over  all  the  others, 
and  reign  with  her  husband.  If  I  had  known  that  before  I 
was  married,  I  should  have  made  my  husband  promise  to  place 
me  first.     Men  can  do  that  if  they  like." 

"  But  do  you  think  you  would  be  doing  right  in  trying  to 
gain  the  position  of  first  wife  in  that  way  .-•" 

"Why  not.''"  she  said,  "  Didn't  Jacob  obtain  his  brother's 
birthright  by  deception — and  was  he  ever  punished  for  it  ?  Do 
you  think  that  Brother  Brigham,  notwithstanding  that  he  is 
the  inspired  servant  of  God,  could  have  obtained  his  position, 
and  all  his  money,  by  simple  honest  dealing }  If  you  think  so, 
I  don't  ;  and  it  is  just  as  proper  and  right  for  us  women  to 
secure  a  position  for  ourselves  by  such  means  as  it  is  for  Brig- 
ham  Young — the  end  justifies  the  means." 

"  If  that  is  so,"  I  said,  "  it  is  a  wonder  to  me  that  any 
woman  should  consent  to  become  second,  third,  or  fourth  wife 
— seeing  they  cannot  be  queens." 

"  I  can  see  that  you  have  not  yet  had  your  '  Endowments,' " 
she  said,  "  or  you  would  understand  more  about  these  things, 
but  as  you  are  a  good  Mormon  I  can  speak  freely  to  you. 

HOW    A    WOMAN    CAN    BECOME    A    QUEEN.  26l 

You  see  it  is  not  always  those  who  are  first  wives  in  this  world 
who  will  be  first  in  the  celestial  kingdom.  It  all  depends 
upon  the  amount  of  sacrifice  the  wife  is  capable  of  making  for 
her  husband,  her  faithfulness  to  him,  and  the  number  of 
children  she  has  borne  him.  If  she  pleases  him  in  every  par- 
ticular and  is  good,  patient,  and  above  all  things  obedient  to 
all  his  wishes  and  commands,  then  she  is  almost  certain  to  be 
made  queen,  unless  the  first  wife  is  just  as  good,  and  then  I 
don't  know  how  they  would  fix  that.  And  so  you  see  it  is 
safer  to  be  first  wife  at  once." 

"  Well  but,"  I  asked,  "  knowing  all  this,  I  am  surprised  that 
you  consented  to  be  third  wife  !" 

"  But  I  did  not  know  it  then,"  she  continued.  "  My  hus- 
band told  me  that  all  the  wives  were  queens— all  equal— and 
he  says  so  still  when  I  talk  to  him  about  it.  But  he  can't 
deceive  me.  I  have  spoken  to  some  of  the  old  Nauvoo  women 
who  know  all  about  it,  and  they  tell  me  that  all  the  Poly- 
gamic wives  will  be  subject  to  the  first  wife;  but  the  first  wife, 
having  suffered  most,  will  be  the  one  who  has  gone  through 
the  fire  and  been  purified,  and  found  worthy." 

"  But  do  you  think  that  your  husband  would  wish  to  deceive 
you  about  such  an  important  matter  T  I  said. 

"  Wait  till  you  have  lived  a  little  longer  here,"  she  replied, 
"  and  you  will  be  able  to  answer  that  question  yourself,  or  else 
your  experience  will  be  very  different  from  that  of  the  rest  of 
the  people  here." 

Just  then  the  husband  made  his  appearance,  and  put  an  end 
to  the  conversation.  He  was  a  tall,  dark-looking  man,  with 
grey  hair,  old  enough  to  be  her  father.  He  appeared  to  be 
well  educated  and  to  have  seen  better  days,  though  everything 
about  their  home  indicated  poverty— the  room  in  which  we 
were  sitting  had  no  carpet  on  the  floor,  there  was  a  plain 
white-pine  table  in  the  middle,  a  small  sheet-iron  stove,  four 
wooden  chairs,  a  small  looking-glass,  and  some  cheap  pictures. 
This  was  the  sitting-room  for  the  whole  family— three  wives, 
eleven  children,  one  husband.  He  asked  me  if  I  had  seen  the 
rest  of  the  family. 

262  THE    FATHER    OF    THE    LITTLE    FAMILY. 

I  replied  negatively,  and  he  said  he  would  see  if  any  of  them 
were  about.  Presently  he  returned  accompanied  by  an 
elderly  woman  whom  he  introduced  as  Mrs.  Simpson.  Then 
came  another,  not  quite  as  good-looking  as  the  first,  but  a 
great  deal  younger,  and  he  introduced  her  as  "  My  wife  Ellen, 
And  this  one,"  he  said,  turning  to  the  one  with  whom  I  had 
been  conversing,  "is  my  wife  Sarah.  Don't  you  think  I  have 
got  three  fine-looking  women  ?"  Then,  after  a  pause,  he 
added  :  "  And  they  are  just  as  good  as  they  are  good-looking 
— good,  obedient  wives.  I  have  no  trouble  with  them : 
my  wishes  are  law  in  this  house.  Here  you  have  a  family  in 
which  the  Spirit  of  God  reigns.  We  are  not  rich  in  worldly 
goods,  as  you  see,  but  we  are  laying  up  treasure  in  heaven. 
We  all  live  in  this  little  home  of  four  rooms.  My  wife  Ellen, 
here,  has  given  up  her  room  for  a  parlor  for  us  all  to  meet 
together  in,  and  she  sleeps  in  a  wagon-box  ;  it  is  not  the  most 
comfortable,  but  she  never  grumbles.  Then,  here  is  our 
Sarah  ;  we  are  obliged  to  humor  her  a  little,  and  give  her  a 
room  all  to  herself.  She  is  young  and  inexperienced,  and 
doesn't  like  to  put  up  with  the  inconveniences  that  the  Saints 
have  to  bear  with  ;  while  old  mother  here  has  got  to  have 
half-a-dozen  children  in  her  room,  but  she  never  complains." 

"  Why  did  you  not  wait,"  I  said,  "  until  you  had  a  larger 
house  .''" 

"  Then  where  would  my  kingdom  be .''"  he  answered, 
"  Young  men  may  wait,  but  old  men  must  improve  their  time." 

There  came  in  now  a  troop  of  children  of  all  ages.  They 
had  been  playing  in  the  lot,  were  miserably  clad,  bare- 
footed, and  some  looked  gaunt  and  hungry: — manners  to 
match.  "  These,"  he  said,  with  all  a  father's  fondness — 
"  these  constitute  my  kingdom,  and  I  am  proud  of  them." 

I  felt  thankful  that  I  was  not  destined  to  be  queen  over 
such  a  kingdom,  wished  them  good-bye,  and  with  a  sad  heart, 
went  home  to  my  own  darling  little  ones  not  knowing  what 
might  be  i/ieir  fate. 




Inside  the  Lion  House — The  Family-Circle  of  the  Prophet — A  Gracious  Recep- 
tion— A  Woman's  Description  of  Brigham  Young — His  Early  Life  and  Strug- 
gles— Working  for  "  Six  Bits"  a  Day — How  he  "  Ate  Up  all  the  Corn" — 
How  he  Worked  as  a  Painter  and  Glazier — Born  at  the  Right  Time — Brigham 
Young's  Character  Summed  Up — How  he  Obtained  his  Position — The  Twelve 
Apostles  of  Mormonism — Intrigues  for  Place  and  Power — Pulling  the  Nose  of 
a  Queen — Delivered  Over  to  "The  Buffetings  of  Satan" — Poor  Sidney  ! — 
The  "  First  Presidency  " — Yearly  Elections — A  Foe  to  Education — What 
Boys  and  Girls  Should  Learn — An  Unfortunate  Musical  Society — Moral 
Delinquencies  of  the  Prophet — Borrowing  Clothes  for  a  Conference — How 
a  Million  Dollars  were  Borrowed  and  Paid ! — Brigham's  Avarice,  Cowardice, 
and  Thefts — A  Terrible  Despotism — Lost  Opportunities. 

SHORTLY  after  our  arrival  in  Salt  Lake  City  we  visited 
President  Young,  who  received  us  very  graciously  and 
appointed  an  early  day  for  us  to  dine  with  him. 

On  that  occasion  he  invited  some  of  the  Apostles  and  lead- 
ing men  to  meet  us  at  his  table,  and  we  passed  an  exceedingly 
pleasant  evening.  The  Prophet  made  himself  very  affable ; 
talked  with  us  about  our  missionary  life  and  other  subjects  of 
personal  and  general  interest  ;  and  expressed  a  high  opinion 
of  the  energy  and  ability  which  my  husband  had  displayed. 
His  wives,  too, — who  I  found,  as  far  as  I  could  judge  from 
such  a  casual  acquaintance,  to  be  amiable  and  kind-hearted 
ladies, — made  every  effort  to  render  our  visit  agreeable. 

I   was  much  pleased  with  the  manner  and  appearance  of 


Brigham  Young,  and  felt  greatly  re-assured  ;  for  he  did  not 
seem  to  me  like  a  man  who  would  preach  and  practice  such 
things  as  I  had  heard  of  him  while  I  was  in  London.  This  I 
was  glad  to  see,  for  it  encouraged  me  to  think  that,  perhaps, 
after  all,  matters  might  not  be  so  bad  as  I  had  anticipated. 
We  were,  in  fact,  very  kindly  received  in  Salt  Lake  City  by 
every  one  with  whom  we  came  in  contact ;  for  having  been  Mis- 
sionaries for  so  many  years,  we  were,  of  course,  well  known  by 
name,  and  had  a  wide  circle  of  acquaintances  among  the  chief 
Elders  and  emigrants. 

Fifteen  years  have,  of  course,  worked  a  great  change  in  the 
appearance  of  Brigham  Young  ;  but  though  he  is  now  nearly 
seventy-three  years  of  age,  he  is  still  a  portly-looking — I  might 
almost  say  handsome  man.  His  good  looks  are  not  of  the 
poetic  or  romantic  kind  at  all ;  he  is  very  common-place  and 
practical  in  his  appearance,  but  long  and  habitual  exercise  of 
despotic  authority  has  stamped  itself  upon  his  features,  and  is 
seen  even  in  the  way  he  carries  himself  : — he  might  without 
any  stretch  of  the  imagination  be  mistaken  for  a  retired  sea^ 

When  I  first  knew  him  in  appearance  he  was  little  over 
fifty  years  of  age,  was  of  medium  height,  well  built,  upright, 
and,  as  I  just  stated,  with  the  air  of  one  accustomed  to  be 
obeyed.  His  hair  was  light, — sandy,  I  suppose  I  ought  to  call 
it, — with  eyes  to  match  ;  and  the  expression  of  his  counten- 
ance was  pleasant  and  manly.  I,  of  course,  regarded  him 
from  a  woman's  stand-point ;  but  there  were  others  who  were 
accustomed  to  study  physiognomy,  and  they  detected — or 
thought  they  detected — in  the  cold  expression  of  his  eye  and 
the  stern,  hard  lines  of  his  lips,  evidences  of  cruelty,  selfish- 
ness, and  dogged  determination  which,  it  is  only  fair  to  say,  I 
myself  never  saw. 

The  lines  on  his  face  have  deepened  of  late  years,  as  what 
little  of  gentleness  his  heart  ever  knew  has  died  out  within 
him ;  but  still  he  presents  the  appearance  of  a  man  who  would 
afford  a  deep  study  to  the  observer  of  human  nature.  In 
early  life  he  had  to  work  hard  for  a  living,  and  according  to 




^"/^^-^  ^ 


his  own  statement  he  had  a  rough  time  of  it.  He  was,  by 
trade,  a  painter  and  glazier,  and  has  frequently  said  in  public 
that  in  those  times  he  was  glad  to  work  for  "  six  bits  "  a  day, 
and  to  keep  his  hands  busy  from  morning  to  night  to  get  even 
that.  Whether  or  not  the  privations  of  early  years  fostered 
in  him  that  avaricious  and  grasping  spirit  which  of  late  years 
has  been  so  conspicuous  in  him,  I  cannot  say,  but  it  is  certain 
that  it  cropped  out  very  early  in  his  career  as  a  Saint.  An 
old  Nauvoo  Missionary, — a  Mormon  of  the  Mormons  once, 
but  now,  alas  !  a  "  vile  apostate  "  as  Brigham  would  politely 
call  him, — once  told  me  that  when  the  Prophet  Joseph  Smith 
sent  the  Apostle  Young  on  Mission,  a  good  deal  of  discontent 
was  shown  that  the  said  Apostle  did  not  account  properly  for 
the  collections  and  tithings  which  passed  through  his  hands. 
Brother  Joseph  who  was  iJien  "  the  Church  "  suggested  in  a 
pleasant  way — for  the  Prophet  Smith  was  a  big,  jovial  fellow, 
six  feet  two  or  three  inches  in  height,  and  withal  somewhat  of 
a  humorist — that  the  said  Apostle  Brigham  would  appear  in 
his  eyes  a  better  Saint  if  he  displayed  a  little  less  love  for 
filthy  lucre.  Thereupon  the  Apostle,  like  somebody  else  who 
shall  be  nameless,  quoted  Scripture  and  reminded  the  Prophet 
that  Moses  had  said  "  Thou  shalt  not  muzzle  the  mouth  of  the 
ox  that  treadeth  out  the  corn."  "  True,  Brother  Brigham," 
said  Joseph,  "  but  Moses  did  not  say  the  ox  was  to  eat  up  all 
the  corn."  Brother  Brigham  made  no  reply,  but  is  said  to 
have  "  sulked  "  for  two  or  three  days. 

I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt  that,  but  for  Mormonism,  the 
Prophet  would  have  remained  all  his  life  a  journeyman  painter, 
and  his  "  sweetness,"  as  the  poet  says,  would  have  been  wasted 
"  on  the  desert  air."  But  he  was  born  just  at  the  right  time, 
and  he  fitted  into  the  right  groove  ;  and  thus,  while,  the  orig- 
inal Prophet  of  the  new  faith — Joseph  Smith — a  man  of  ten 
times  the  intellect  of  his  successor,  a  man  ignorant  and 
deluded,  it  is  true,  but,  at  the  same  time,  a  man  in  whom  was 
the  material  for  one  of  those  natural  giants  who  from  age  to 
age  have  left  the  impress  of  their  individuality  upon  the  his- 
tory of  the  world  ; — while,  I  say,  this  man's  name  and  doings 


have  ceased  to  interest  any  but  persons  of  studious  mind — 
Brigham  Young,  whose  narrow  soul  could  never  look  beyond 
the  little  circle  in  which  he  lived ;  whose  selfishness  and 
heartlessness  have  been  only  equalled  by  his  cruelty  and 
degrading  avarice,  has,  by  the  force  of  circumstances  alone, 
obtained  a  place  in  the  recognition  of  the  world,  to  which  by 
nature  or  by  grace  he  had  not  the  shadow  of  a  claim. 

I  have  often  heard  intelligent  Gentiles  remark  "  Well,  Brig- 
ham  Young  may  be  a  wicked  man  and  an  impostor,  but  there 
must  be  a  great  deal  of  talent  in  him,  to  manage  those  people 
for  so  many  years." 

From  this  opinion  I  altogether  dissent  ;  and  those  who 
know  Brigham  best,  think  with  me,  though  many  of  them 
would  not  dare  to  say  so.  I  do  not  think  Brigham  Young  a 
wicked  man  or  an  impostor  in  the  sense  in  which  those  words 
are  ordinarily  used  ;  and  experience,  and  a  careful  study  of  his 
life  and  doings,  have  convinced  me  that  he  is  certainly  not  a 
great  man  or  a  man  of  genius  in  any  sense  of  the  word. 
There  can  be  no  doubt  that  he  has  been  guilty  of  many  and 
great  crimes,  but  I  believe  that  in  the  early  part  of  his  career 
he  was  so  blinded  by  fanaticism  that  those  crimes  appeared  to 
him  actually  virtues  : — the  force  of  habit  and  the  daily  associa- 
tions of  his  life  have  so  completely  taken  from  him  all  sense  of 
right  and  wrong ;  while  the  devotion  of  his  people  has  made 
the  idea  that  Jic  could  possibly  do  the  slightest  wrong  so 
utterly  inconceivable  to  him  and  to  them  ;  that  his  percep- 
tions of  justice,  truth,  honor,  honesty,  and  upright  dealing  are 
as  utterly  stultified  as  they  ever  were  in  the  mind  of  the 
wildest  savage  who  prowled  among  the  cliffs  and  canons  of 
the  Rocky  Mountains. 

People  think  that  Brigham  Young  attained  to  his  present 
position  by  the  exercise  of  ability,  such  as  has  been  displayed, 
only  on  a  greater  scale,  by  all  those  men,  who,  not  being  born 
to  power,  nor  having  it  thrust  upon  them,  have  by  the  force  of 
their  genius  seized  it  and  held  it — unlawfully  it  might  be,  but, 
nevertheless,  with  talent  and  moral  energy. 

Nothing  could  be  more  untrue.     The  fact  that  he  was  of  a 


certain  age  at  a  certain  time,  and  only  that,  was  the  cause  of 
Brother  Brigham's  first  step  up  the  ladder  of  ambition. 
Joseph  Smith  endeavored,  in  organising  his  newly-invented 
religion,  to  make  it  resemble  as  much  as  was  possible  both  the 
old  and  new  dispensations  of  Christianity,  and  among  other 
institutions  he  appointed  "Twelve  Apostles"  who  were  to  assist 
in  governing  the  Church.  He  associated  with  himself  his  elder 
brother,  Hyrum,  and  also  Sidney  Rigdon,  who  had  so  greatly 
assisted  in  every  way  to  establish  the  new  faith  and  define  its 
principles.  This  Rigdon  is  the  same  who  has  always  been 
suspected  of  the  authorship  of  the  Book  of  Mormon,  though  it 
must  be  admitted  that  nothing  more  than  circumstantial 
evidence  can  be  adduced  in  support  of  this  statement.  How- 
ever that  might  be,  the  two  Smiths,  Joseph  and  Hyrum,  and 
Sidney  Rigdon  formed  what  was  called  the  "First  Presidency" 
— in  other  words  they  were  "  the  Church."  Next  in  order  to 
them  came  the  "Twelve  Apostles,"  and  after  them  the  "  Seven- 
ties," and  the  other  grades  of  the  Priesthood,  of  which  I  shall 
say  more  presently.  The  "Twelve  Apostles"  were  first  ap- 
pointed according  to  a  plan  of  Joseph's  own — Lyman  Johnson 
was  placed  first,  Brigham  Young  came  next,  and  the  others 
followed.  Not  long  after,  however,  Joseph  made  a  new  ar- 
rangement, and  placed  the  Twelve  according  to  their  age,  and 
this  plan  was  always  followed  subsequently.  Thomas  B. 
Marsh  now  stood  first,  and  next  to  him  came  David  Patten, 
and  then  Brigham  Young. 

I  am  obliged  to  give  these  little  details,  in  order  that  the 
reader  may  understand  Brigham's  position  after  the  death  of 
Joseph  Smith. 

When  Joseph  was  murdered  in  Carthage  Jail,  with  his 
brother  Hyrum,  Sidney  Rigdon  alone  remained  of  the  First 

At  that  time  Thomas  B.  Marsh,  the  first  of  the  Apostles, 
had  apostatised  ;  David  Patten  had  been  killed  in  a  fight  with 
the  mob  ;  and,  consequently,  Brigham  Young  was  now  Presi- 
dent of  the  Twelve — he  being  the  next  in  age.  Thus  it  will 
be  seen  that  even  had  he  been  (which  he  was  not)  the  most 

268      "little  VIC."  THREATENED  BY  A  PROPHET. 

Stupid  and  least  fitted  of  all  the  Apostles  to  preside  over  the 
Church,  his  years  would  nevertheless  have  given  him  the 

Up  to  this  time  there  is  no  evidence  that  any  idea  of 
becoming  head  of  the  Church  had  ever  entered  into  Brigham's 
mind.  Indeed  it  is  reported  that  Joseph  on  one  occasion,  re- 
proving him,  said  ironically  that  if  ever  the  Church  had  the 
misfortune  to  be  led  by  Brother  Brigham,  he  would  lead  it  to 

well,  a  place  which  is  understood  to  be  uncomfortably 

warm.  But  Joseph  was  now  dead,  and  Rigdon  alone  remained 
between  the  Apostle  Young  and  the  headship  of  the  Church. 
Then  it  was  that  his  eyes  appear  for  the  first  time  to  have 
been  fully  opened  to  the  advantages  of  his  position. 

Now  when  the  ancients  took  the  fox  as  an  emblem  of  craft- 
iness, it  was  because  they  had  never  known  Brigham.  Brig- 
ham  worked  cautiously  and  prudently,  for  he  probably  is  one 
of  the  greatest  cowards  in  existence,  both  morally  and  physi- 
cally, and  like  all  cowards  he  was  perfectly  att  fait  in  work- 
ing in  the  dark.  In  accomplishing  the  removal  of  Rig- 
don, Rigdon  himself  was  Brigham's  best  assistant.  A  man  of 
prudence,  or  even  of  common  sense,  might  have  safely  held 
his  position  against  all  the  Brighams  in  the  world,  but  prud- 
ence and  common  sense  were  qualities  utterly  unknown  to 
Rigdon.  He  began  to  have  wonderful  visions  and  revelations, 
announced  the  immediate  ending  of  the  world,  and  stated  that 
he  would  forthwith  lead  out  the  armies  of  the  Lord  to  the 
battle  of  Armageddon,  in  Palestine,  and  then  return  in  triumph, 
calling  by  the  way,  as  he  said, "  to  pull  the  nose  of  little  Vic. !" 
"  Little  Vic."  was  the  English  Queen — then  a  young  woman 
— but  how  she  incurred  Rigdon's  wrath,  I  do  not  know.  In 
addition  to  all  this  absurd  nonsense,  he  ordained  some  of  his 
particular  friends  to  be  prophets,  priests,  and  kings,  and 
otherwise  showed  that  he  intended  to  carry  matters  with  a 
high  hand. 

Brigham  watched  his  chance,  and  when  he  considered  that 
matters  were  ripe  for  a  change,  by  dint  of  secret  manoeuver- 
ing,  he  caused  Rigdon  to  be  tried  before  the  "  High  Council " 


at  Nauvoo.  Rigdon  sent  word  that  he  was  sick,  and  could 
not  come,  but  the  trial  went  on,  and  of  course  it  could  have 
but  one  ending.  The  result  was — as  the  Mormon  papers  at 
the  time  reported — that  :  "  Elder  Young  arose  and  delivered 
Sidney  Rigdon  over  to  the  buffetings  of  Satan,  for  a  thousand 
years,  in  the  name  of  the  Lord  ;  and  all  the  people  said, 

Poor  Sidney !  He  tried  to  set  up  a  church  for  himself,  and 
a  good  many  people  followed  him,  but  the  attempt  was  a  fail- 
ure. He  is  now  a  very  old  man,  and  cannot  live  long,  but 
he  still  believes  in  the  truth  of  Mormonism,  as  established  by 
Joseph  Smith. 

Brigham's  next  step  was  to  declare  that  the  government  of 
the  Church  was  now  vested  in  the  Twelve,  of  whom  he  was 
the  head.  Later  still  he  contrived,  by  selecting  a  time  when 
nearly  all  of  the  Apostles  would  be  promoted  or  in  some  way 
gratified  by  a  change  in  the  organisation  of  the  Church,  to  get 
himself  elected  President  of  the  Church,  in  the  place  of 
Joseph,  with  the  two  Apostles  next  under  him  as  his  associ- 
ates, under  the  name  of  "  counsellors  ;"  and  they  together 
formed  the  First  Presidency.  Thus  Brigham  became  in 
name,  as  well  as*  in  fact,  the  head  of  the  Mormon  Church. 

Every  year,  Brother  Brigham,  in  common  with  all  the  other 
oflficers  ot  the  Church,  is  duly  re-elected ;  I  need  hardly  say 
that  the  re-election  is  a  matter  of  course — an  opposition  candi- 
date would  stand  but  a  poor  chance  of  success. 

Brigham  Young  is  an  uneducated  man.  For  that,  of 
course,  he  is  not  deserving  of  blame,  but  his  opposition  to 
education  in  others  and  to  all  that  is  intellectual  and  elevating: 
does  him  little  credit.  Only  a  very  few  years  ago  he  with  his 
two  "  Counsellors," — Heber  C.  Kimball  and  Jedediah  M. 
Grant,  who  were  both  spoken  of  as  model  Saints, — held  forth 
in  the  Tabernacle,  in  the  most  unmeasured  language,  against 
schools  and  scholastic  acquirements  of  every  description. 
They  were  all  three  untaught  men,  and  like  all  persons  of 
small  mind  who  have  not  themselves  received  any  education, 
they  hated  and  affected  to  despise  those  who  had.     Thought- 


ful  men,  although  they  may  never  have  enjoyed  the  advan- 
tages of  Hterary  culture,  never  fail  to  see  the  great  power  that 
it  is,  either  for  good  or  evil  ;  and  in  most  cases  they  try  to 
secure  for  their  children  the  blessing  of  which  they  themselves 
have  been  denied.  But  the  Mormon  leaders,  while  they 
ridiculed  and  affected  to  despise  men  of  education,  were 
shrewd  enough  to  see  that  if  schools  were  established  and  the 
children  of  the  Saints  permitted  to  attend  them,  the  bonds 
of  superstition  would  certainly  be  shaken  and  the  fabric  of 
Mormonism  undermined.  They,  consequently,  discouraged 
every  attempt  at  self-improvement,  and  taught  the  people 
to  aspire  to  nothing  higher  for  their  children  than  the  rudi- 
ments of  reading,  writing,  and  arithmetic  for  the  boys,  and 
a  knowledge  of  household,  dairy,  and  farm  work  for  the  girls. 

Before  the  "  Reformation "  a  few  young  men  anxious  to 
improve  their  minds,  organised  what  they  called  the  "  Liter- 
ary and  Musical  Society."  They  gave  pleasant  social  enter- 
tainments to  their  friends  at  which  they  gave  recitations, 
read  essays,  poems,  and  other  literary  productions,  vary- 
ing the  programme  with  selections  of  music.  The  au- 
thorities looked  upon  the  whole  proceeding  with  disfavor, 
and  soon  broke  up  the  society.  Not  content  with  this,  and 
in  order  to  show  their  contempt,  they  humiliated  the  mem- 
bers in  every  possible  way,  even  publicly  pointing  them  out 
to  ridicule,  and  appointing  a  good  many  of  them  to  be  door- 
keepers in  the  Tabernacle.  Brigham  Young,  who  it  is  said, 
never  in  his  life  read  a  book,  could  not  understand  that  they 
could  find  any  pleasure  in  intellectual  amusements,  and  ac- 
cused them  of  pride,  conceit,  and  even  wickedness.  Among 
the  Church  leaders  it  is  even  now  common  to  speak  of  any  one 
who  has  any  literary  acquirements  as  "  having  the  big  head," 
and  being  "  next  door  to  apostacy." 

Recently  greater  efforts  to  obtain  a  good  education  for  their 
children  have  been  made  by  the  more  intelligent  among  the 
Saints,  and  the  Gentiles  in  Utah  have  established  some  very 
excellent  schools.  A  library  and  reading-room  have  also  been 
opened,  and  the  latter  has  been  well  attended  by  the  young 

THE  PROPHETS  BANK  ACCOUNT.       '     2/1 

men,  both  Mormons  and  Gentiles.  Brigham  himself  has  with 
his  usual  inconsistency  even  gone  so  far  as  to  give  to  his  own 
children  those  advantages  which  he  selfishly  denied  to  his 
poorer  brethren. 

Of  the  Prophet's  moral  character,  the  less  said  the  better. 
He  has  been  remorseless  and  cruel  in  his  enmities,  and  he  has 
connived  at  and  even  suggested,  if  nothing  more,  some  of  the 
most  atrocious  crimes  that  have  ever  been  perpetrated  on  the 
face  of  the  earth.  In  business  matters,  in  the  payment  of 
money — to  use  a  popular  phrase — his  word  is  as  good  as  his 
bond,  but  in  the  accumulation  of  wealth  he  has  evinced  an 
amount  of  dishonesty  which  can  scarcely  be  credited.  Brig- 
ham  always  meets  his  obligations,  and  pays  his  debts,  and  gets 
a  lawful  receipt  : — the  prophetic  business  could  not  otherwise 
be  carried  on  ;  but  the  way  in  which  he  has  obtained  his 
wealth  would  put  to  the  blush  the  most  dishonest  member  of 
any  "  ring  "  in  New  York,  or  elsewhere.  When  he  attended 
his  first  Conference,  he  says  he  had  to  borrow  certain  mascu- 
line garments  and  a  pair  of  boots  before  he  could  put  in 
an  appearance.  Now  it  would  be  difficult  to  estimate  the 
value  of  his  property.  He  has  taken  up  large  tracts  of  land 
all  over  the  Territory,  he  has  the  uncontrolled  and  unques- 
tioned command  of  all  the  tithing  and  contributions  of  the 
Saints,  and  from  gifts  and  confiscations,  and  innumerable  other 
sources,  his  revenue  pours  in.  It  was  once  rumored  that  he 
had  eighteen  or  twenty  millions  of  dollars  in  the  Bank  of  Eng- 
land ;  but  Brigham  said  that  the  report  was  not  true.  "  The 
Church,"  he  added,  had  a  little  money  invested  abroad.  The 
difference  between  "  The  Church  "  and  the  individual  Brigham 
Young  has  yet  to  be  determined. 

In  the  year  1852  the  "  Prophet  of  the  Lord  "  found  that  he 
had  borrowed  an  inconveniently  large  sum  from  the  funds  of 
the  Church.  He  is  "  Trustee  in  Trust "  and,  of  course,  legally 
responsible  ;  but  he  never  renders  an  account  of  his  steward- 
ship, and  no  one  ever  asks  him  for  it.  His  sense  of  honesty 
was,  however,  so  strong  that  he  resolved  to  have  his  account 
balanced,  and  he  went  down  to  the  Tithing-Office  for  that 


purpose.  There  he  found  that  his  indebtedness  amounted  to 
two  hundred  thousand  dollars,  and  he  proceeded  to  pay  it  after 
his  own  fashion  : — the  clerk  was  instructed  to  place  to  his 
credit  the  same  amount  ''for  services  rendered^  In  1867,  he 
owed  very  nearly  one  million  dollar's,  which  he  had  borrowed 
from  the  same  fund,  and  he  balanced  his  account  in  the  same 
way.  His  contract  for  the  Pacific  Railroad  is  said  to  have 
yielded  him  a  quarter  of  a  million,  and  his  other  contracts  and 
mining  speculations,  purchases  and  thefts  of  lands,  houses, 
&c.,  have  been  very  profitable.  The  expenses  of  such  a  family 
as  Brother  Brigham's  must  be  something  enormous,  but  the 
contributions  which  by  honest  and  dishonest  means  he  has 
levied  have  been  so  large  that  he  must  still  be  one  of  the 
wealthiest  men  in  the  States. 

Brigham  is  not  a  generous  man.  He  has  given  occasion- 
ally, as  for  instance  at  the  time  of  the  Chicago  fire,  when  he 
presented  a  thousand  dollars  for  the  sufferers,  but  even  then 
his  motive  was  evident — the  affairs  of  "  Deseret "  were  under 
discussion  in  Congress.  Without  the  certainty  of  a  profitable 
return,  Brigham  never  gave  a  cent.  The  story  of  his  sordid 
avarice  and  his  contemptible  meanness  in  the  accumulation 
of  money  would  fill  a  volume. 

Morally  and  physically  the  Prophet  is  a  great  coward. 
When  he  and  other  Church  leaders  were  arrested  a  year  or 
two  ago,  charged  with  the  very  gravest  crimes,  the  effect  upon 
the  Prophet  was  most  distressing.  He  had  solemnly  sworn 
in  the  Tabernacle  that  he  would  shoot  the  man  who  attempted 
to  arrest  him  ;  but  when  Judge  McKean  opened  court  and 
placed  him  under  arrest  he  swallowed  his  threats  and  played 
the  coward's  part.  Before  this  the  world  has  seen  wretches 
who  were  notorious  for  their  cruelty  and  tyranny,  and  who 
were  also  remarkable  for  their  cowardice.  For  many  years 
he  has  imitated  royalty  and  has  had  a  strong  body-guard  to 
keep  watch  and  ward  around  his  person  every  night.  No 
man  has  less  cause  to  apprehend  personal  violence  than 
Brother  Brigham,  but  the  voice  of  conscience,  which,  as  the 
poet  says,  makes  cowards  of  us  all,  suggests  his  fears. 


No  one,  probably,  ever  possessed  and  lost  greater  oppor- 
tunities of  doing  good  and  leaving  behind  him  an  enviable 
record  than  Brother  Brigham.  In  him  the  Saints,  from  the 
•smallest  to  the  greatest,  placed  implicit  trust,  and  it  was  in 
his  power  to  mould  them  at  his  will.  The  spiritual  and 
temporal  welfare  of  the  people  was  in  his  hands.  The  ability 
to  elevate  them  socially,  mentally,  and  morally  was  his.  A 
great  trust  was  committed  to  his  charge.  But  he  has  basely 
betrayed  that  sacred  trust,  and  has  not  only  left  undone  what 
he  should  have  performed,  but  he  has  been  guilty  of  the 
most  grievous  wrong-doing.  He  has  set  at  nought  all  moral- 
ity with  his  horrible  and  debasing  teachings  respecting  a 
"  blood-atonement " — in  other  words,  the  ditty  of  assassination. 
He  has  outraged  decency  and  riven  asunder  the  most  sacred 
social  and  domestic  ties  by  his  shameless  introduction  of 
Polygamy.  He  has  sacrilegiously  defiled  the  temple  of  God, 
by  teaching  his  followers  to  worship  Adam  as  their  divinity, 
and  has  robbed  Christ  of  his  birthright  by  proclaiming  that  men 
are  the  only  saviours  of  their  wives  and  that  in  respect  to 
women  the  sacrifice  of  our  Lord  was  of  no  direct  avail.  In  a 
word— both  by  his  preaching  and  his  practice  he  has  set  an 
example  so  bad  as  to  be  utterly  without  parallel  in  this 
civilised  age.  Kings  and  emperors  there  are  who  hold  in 
slavery  the  persons  of  men :  hierarchs  there  are  who  hold  in 
bondage  the  souls  of  the  deluded.  But  the  despot  meddles 
not  with  the  eternal  welfare  of  his  subject,  nor  does  he  pollute 
the  sacred  precincts  of  the  hearth  and  home  ;  and  the  false 
priest  is  not  permitted  to  meddle  with  temporal  affairs.  But 
the  Mormon  despot— Brigham  Young— has  played  the  tyrant 
in  both  spiritual  and  worldly  matters,— has  meddled  with  the 
person,  the  property,  and  the  lives  and  the  liberty  of  his 
dupes  ;  and  has  at  the  same  time  debased  and  enslaved  their 

But  let  it  not  be  supposed  that  I  write  this  hastily,  or 
without  due  consideration.  People  outside  of  Utah  may  be 
deceived,  as  indeed  they  frequently  are,  by  representations 
made  in   ignorance  of  what   Mormonism   and  the   Prophet 

274      THE    TRUE    CHARACTER    OF     THE    MORMON    PEOPLE. 

really  are.  But  the  Gentiles  long  resident  in  Utah,  the 
Apostates,  and  even  the  Mormon  people  themselves,  if  only 
they  would  tell  the  truth,  could  testify  to  the  truthfulness  of 
the  picture  which  I  have  drawn  of  Brother  Brigham. 

A  better  people — aside  from  their  religion — than  the 
believing  Mormons  when  they  emigrated  to  Utah,  it  would  be 
difficult  to  find.  Their  fault  was  in  their  faith.  They  were 
honest,  sober,  industrious,  and  ready  to  sacrifice  everything 
to  what  they  considered  religious  duty.  I  cannot  think  of 
them  and  of  the  implicit  confidence  which  they  placed  in 
Brigham,  without  wondering  at  his  folly  in  throwing  away 
the  noble  opportunity,  which  was  once  within  his  grasp,  of 
establishing  a  happy  and  contented  people.  Instead  of  this 
he  has  gathered  wealth  to  himself  and  family  ;  out  of  the 
poverty  of  his  followers  he  has  amassed  enormous  riches,  and 
with  the  power  to  leave  behind  him  a  name  as  one  of  the 
benefactors  of  the  human  race,  he  has  set  the  worst  example 
which  despot  or  false  prophet  ever  presented  to  the  world. 



The  Prophet  at  Home — His  Own  Little  Family — Domestic  Life  of  a  Patriarch — 
Wife  the  First — Two  Sisters  Married  to  the  Same  Man — Brigham's  Son  at 
West  Point — She  "  Had  Her  Day  " — A  Troublesome  Wife — The  Privil- 
eges of  Mormon  Women — Shocking  Case  of  Infatuation — Emmeline — The 
Forsaken  Favorite — The  Fickle  Fancies  of  the  Prophet: — Amelia  :  "the  Queen 
of  the  Harem  " — The  Follies  of  a  Modern  Prophet — The  Charms  of  Julia 
Dean — The  Spirit  of  the  Prophet  Subdued  by  Amelia's  Will — Eliza-Ann 
Tells  Her  Own  Story — How  Brother  Brigham  Won  His  Last  Wife — Fictions 
and  Frauds — Brigham  Names  the  Marriage  Day — He  Came  "Just  as  it  Hap- 
pened " — Getting  Groceries  in  a  Small  Way — "  Two  Bits'  Worth  of  Fresh 
Meat  " — The  Conclusion  of  Eliza-Ann's  Story — A  Patriarchal  Family — The 
Father  of  Fifty  Children — A  Questionable  Story — "Whose  Child  is  He" — 
Inside  the  Prophet's  Mansion — Pocket-Money  and  Divorce — Domestic  Life 
of  the  Prophet — Entertaining  a  Visitor — How  a  Large  P'amily  is  Managed — 
— The  Patriarch  at  Home. 

THE  wives  of  Brigham  Young  have  always  been  subjects 
of  interest  to  Gentiles  who  visited  Zion  ;  and  having 
spoken  of  their  husband,  I  think  it  is  only  fair  that  I  should 
say  a  few  words  about  them. 

For  many  years  I  have  known  personally  all  the  Prophet's 
wives  who  reside  in  Salt  Lake  City,  and  I  wish  to  speak  of 
them  with  kindness  and  respect.  They  are  women  whom 
any  one  would  esteem — conscientious,  good,  earnest  women  ; 
faithful,  true-hearted  wives,  who  have  devoted  their  lives  to^ 
the  carrying  out  of  what  they  believe  is  the  revealed  will  of 

276  THE    WIVES    OF    BRIGHAM    YOUNG. 

When  I  first  knew  Brother  Brigham,  poor  man,  he  had 
only  sixteen  living  with  him  in  Salt  Lake  City  ;  and  even 
now  he  has  no  more  than  nineteen  !  Perhaps  I  ought  to  say 
eighteen,  since  Eliza-Ann  has  run  away  from  him  and  left 
'the  poor  old  gentleman  desolate  and  forlorn.  The  three  whom 
he  took  after  I  came  to  Utah,  were  Amelia  Folsom,  Mary 
Van  Cott  Cobb,  and  Eliza-Ann.  But  the  reader  will  per- 
haps be  interested  in  hearing  about  them  all,  and  so  I  will 
state  the  names  and  order  of  the  ladies  as  they  at  present 
stand — according  to  the  date  of  their  marriage  ;  making 
mention  q^  the  proxy  wives  last  of  all,  for  the  sake  of  con- 
venience and  without  reference  to  date.  Of  course  Brother 
Brigham  has  had  many  more  than  nineteen  wives,  but  the 
following  are  the  living  ladies  :  others  are  dead  or  have 
strayed  away,  no  one  knew  whither,  and  perhaps,  as  Brother 
Heber  once  said  to  me,  nobody  cared. 

Allow  me  to  introduce  the  Mrs.  Young. 

[Number  One.] 

First  in  order  is  Mrs.  Mary  Ann  Angell  Young,  but  she  Is 
not  the  first  wife  that  Brother  Brigham  ever  had.  Once  upon 
a  time.  Brother  Brigham  was  a  Methodist ;  but  after  listening 
to  the  preaching  of  the  Mormon  Missionaries  he  became  a 
vile  apostate — as  he  loves  to  call  those  who  leave  his  present 
faith — and  he  forsook  Methodism.  In  those  days,  before  he 
apostatised,  and  long  before  he  ever  dreamed  of  Polygamy,  he 
had  but  one  wife — one  only  !  It  must  seem  strange  to  the 
Prophet  to  look  back  to  that  period  of  solitary  existence.  His 
second  wife  was  Mrs.  Angell  Young ;  and  I  call  her  his  first 
wife  because  she  is  the  first  of  those  living  now.  As  she  was 
married  to  him  after  the  death  of  his  first  wife,  she  is,  of 
course,  his  legal  wife,  and  would  be  recognised  as  such  in 
any  civilised  country.  She  is  a  very  fine-looking  old  lady  and 
very  much  devoted  to  her  unfaithful  lord  and  master,  firmly 
believing  in  his  divine  mission.  She  lives  by  herself  and  is 
seldom  troubled  with  a  visit  from  her  affectionate    spouse. 


Once  in  a  while  Brigham  brings  her  out  to  a  party  when  he 
has  invited  any  Gentiles,  just  for  appearance  sake.  Quite  a 
number  of  persons  in  Utah  believe  that  she  is  dead,  so  very 
little  is  seen  and  known  of  her.  She  lives  in  the  White 
House — Ikigham's  first  residence  in  Salt  Lake  City — and  is 
much  thought  of  by  those  who  do  know  her.  "Her  children 
are  greatly  attached  to  her,  and  show  her  a  great  deal  of 
attention,  making  up  in  this  way,  to  a  certain  extent,  for  her 
husband's  neglect  ;  her  three  sons,  Joseph  A.,  Brigham — who 
it  is  expected  will  succeed  his  father  as  President  of  the 
Church — and  John  VV.,  as  well  as  her  two  daughters,  Alice  and 
Luna,  are  all  in  Polygamy.  Each  of  the  sons  has  three 
wives  ;  and  each  of  the  daughters  has  a  half-sister  as  a 
partner  in  her  husband's  affections.  Brigham  has  not  the 
slightest  objection  to  giving  two  of  his  daughters  to  the  same 

[Number  Two.] 

Lucy  Decker  Seely  Young  was  his  first  wife  in  Polygamy. 
Her  former  husband  was  a  Mr.  Seely.  She  is  short  and 
stout,  a  very  excellent  mother  and  a  devoted  wife.  Her  son, 
Brigham  Heber,  is  now  one  of  the  cadets  at  West  Point.  The 
sending  of  this  young  man  to  West  Point  to  be  educated, 
when  it  was  noticed  in  the  public  papers,  excited  some  little 
interest,  and  the  faith  of  many  of  the  good  Mormons  was 
very  much  shaken  by  it.  They  had  believed  that  Brigham 
really  meant  what  he  taught  when  he  told  the  people  not  to 
allow  their  children  to  associate  with  the  Gentiles,  as  it  would 
cause  them  to  lose  "  the  spirit."  But  they  were  still  further 
shocked  when  they  learned  that  several  other  sons  of  Brigham 
were  to  go  to  the  Eastern  States  to  be  educated.  They  have 
yet  to  learn  that  the  Prophet  does  not  intend  them  to  do  as 
he  does  but  rather  as  he  tells  them.  My  own  opinion  is  that 
Brother  Brigham  has  advocated  one  course  of  conduct  for  the 
people  while  he  pursued  another  himself. 

2^8  THE    prophet's    LITTLE    FAMILY. 

[Number  Three.] 

Clara  Decker  Young  is  the  third  wife.  She  is  a  sister  of 
Lucy  Seely,  and  hke  her  is  short  and  stout,  but  otherwise 
good-looking.  *  She  is  more  than  twenty  years  younger  than 
her  lord,  with  whom  she  was  once  quite  a  favorite,  but  like 
many  others,  she  has  "  had  her  day  " — to  use  Brigham's  own 
expression — and  is  now,  as  a  matter  of  course,  neglected. 

[Number  Four.] 

Harriet  Cook  Young,  is  tall,  with  light  hair  and  'blue  eyes, 
and  is  an  intelligent  but  not  at  all  a  refined  woman.  She  is 
said  to  have  given  a  great  deal  of  trouble  to  Brother  Brigham, 
of  whom  she  has  frequently  said  very  hard  things.  In  times 
past  she  had  the  reputation  of  being  a  good  deal  more  than  a 
match  for  her  husband  when  she  had  any  cause  of  offence 
against  him,  but  in  her  quiet  moments  she  is  a  very  sincere 
Mormon.  She  has  only  one  son — Oscar  Young — now  about 
twenty-five  years  of  age.  When  he  was  born,  Brigham  kindly 
announced  to  her  that  because  she  was  not  obedient  she 
should  have  no  more  children,  and  during  more  than  a  quarter 
of  a  century  he  has  kept  his  word.  Why  she  has  remained 
with  him  so  long  is  a  mystery,  for  she  makes  no  secret  of  her 
feelings  towards  him. 

[Number  Five.] 

Lucy  Bigelow  Young  is  quite  a  fine-looking  woman — tall  and 
fair,  and  still  quite  young.  She  has  three  pretty  daughters. 
Brigham  has  recently  sent  her  to  live  in  southern  Utah. 

[Number  Six.] 

Mrs.  Twiss  Young  has  no  children,  but  she  is  a  very  good 
housewife,  and  Brigham  a^^preciates  her  accordingly,  and  has 

THE    LADIIiS    IN    THE    LION    HOUSE.  2/9 

given  her  the  position  of  housekeeper  in  the  Lion  House. 
Women  have  two  great  privileges  in  the  Mormon  Church — 
they  may  ask  a  man  to  marry  them,  if  they  chance  to  fancy 
him,  and  if  they  don't  like  him  afterwards  they  are  able  to 
obtain  a  divorce  for  the  moderate  sum  of  ten  dollars,  which 
sum  the  husband  is  expected  to  pay.  Mrs.  Twiss  exercised 
the  first  privilege  in  reference  to  Brother  Brigham,  but  has 
not  yet  availed  herself  of  the  last.  There  are  other  ladies  who 
thought  it  would  be  a  great  honor  to  be  called  the  wives  of 
the  Prophet,  and  they  have  requested  him  to  allow  them  to  be 
called  by  his  name.  This  he  has  done,  but  he  has  never 
troubled  them  with  his  society. 

[Number  Seven.] 

Martha  Bowker  Young  is  a  quiet  little  body,  with  piercing 
dark  eyes,  and  very  retiring.  Brother  Brigham  acts  towards 
her  as  if  he  had  quite  forgotten  that  he  had  ever  married 
her,  and  she  lives  in  all  the  loneliness  of  married  spinster- 

[Number  Eight.] 

Harriet  Barney  Seagers  Young,  the  eighth  wife,  is  a  tall, 
fine-looking  woman.  She  was  another  man's  wife  when  Brig- 
ham made  love  to  her.  It  is  not  supposed  to  be  the  correct 
thing  for  a  Saint  to  court  his  neighbor's  wife,  but  the  Pro- 
phet did  so  in  the  case  of  Harriet  Barney,  and  in  several  other 
cases  too.  Harriet  was  married  to  a  respectable  young  Mor- 
mon gentleman,  but  after  she  had  lived  with  him  some  time 
and  had  borne  three  children  to  him,  the  Prophet  persuaded 
her  to  join  his  ranks,  and  she  did  so,  believing  that  the  word 
of  the  Prophet  was  the  revelation  of  the  Lord  to  her,  but  she 
has  since  had  bitter  cause  to  repent  of  her  folly.  To  a  Gen- 
tile mind  such  an  infatuation  must  appear  very  strange,  but  the 
Mormon  people  personally  understand  the  powerful  influence 
which  their  religion  exercises  over  them,  and  to  them  there  is 
nothing  very  singular  in  all  this. 


[Number  Nine.] 

Eliza  Burgess  Young  is  the  only  English  wife  that  Brigham 
has.  She  fell  in  love  with  the  Prophet,  wanted  him  to  marry 
her,  and  even  offered  to  wait,  like  Jacob,  for  seven. years  if  she 
might  be  his  at  last.  So  she  served  in  the  family  of  her  lord 
for  the  appointed  time,  and  he  finally  took  her  to  wife  as  a 
recompense  for  her  faithfulness.  She  has  added  one  son  to 
the  Prophet's  kingdom. 

[Number  Ten.] 

The  tenth  wife  on  my  list  is  Susan  Snively  Young.  She  is 
a  German  woman — smart,  active,  and  industrious.  She  has 
no  children,  but  has  been  quite  a  help-meet  to  her  husband  in 
making  butter  and  cheese,  in  which  she  excels.  Smart  Mor- 
mons have  always  had  an  eye  to  business,  and  while  living  up 
to  their  privileges  have  not  invariably  sought  for  wives  who 
were  only  fair  and  pleasant  to  look  upon,  but  have  frequently 
taken  them  for  their  own  intrinsic  worth  : — one  as  a  good 
dairymaid,  another  as  a  good  cook,  a  third  as  a  good  laun- 
dress, and  a  fourth  as  a  lady  to  grace  the  parlor — perhaps 
even  two  or  three  of  this  last  kind,  if  the  Saint  were  wealthy. 
There  is  a  good  deal  of  practical  wisdom  in  this.  Brother 
Brijrham  has  g-athered  of  all  sorts  into  his  net,  and  has  then 
sorted  them  out,  placing  each  lady  in  the  place  where  he 
considered  she  would  be  most  useful  and  profitable  to 

[Number  Eleven.] 

Margaret  Pierce  Young  is  very  lady-like,  tall,  and  genteel. 
She  has  the  appearance  of  being  very  unhappy,  and  it  is 
certain  that  she  has  been  very  much  neglected,  but  not  more 
so  than  many  of  the  other  wives.     She  has  one  son. 


[Number  Twelve.] 

When  first  I  went  to  Utah,  Emmeline  Free  Young  was  the 
reigning    favorite,    and    she   was    really  the   handsomest    of 
Brigham's  wives — tall  and  graceful,  with  curling  hair,  beautiful 
eyes,  and  fair  complexion.     Brigham  was  as  fond  of  her,  at 
the  time,  as  a  man  of  his  nature,  with  such  a  low  estimate  of 
woman,  could  be.     But  a  younger,  though  not  a  handsomer, 
rival  soon  captivated  his  fickle  heart,  and  he  left  poor  Emmeline 
to  mourn  in  sorrow.     She  has  never  been  herself  since  then, 
and  probably  never  will  be — she  is  a  broken-hearted  woman. 
She  is  the  mother  of  quite  a  numerous  family,  and  doubtless, 
as  she  had  been  the  favorite  for  so  long  a  time,  she  had  come 
to  believe  that  her  husband  would  never  seek  another  love. 
But,  if  this  was  so,  she  sadly  miscalculated  Brigham,  for  when 
his  licentious  fancy  was  attracted  to  another  object  of  affec- 
tion  he  cast  off   Emmeline  as  ruthlessly  as  he  would  an  old 
garment.     What  decent  person  could  refrain  from   loathing 
such  a  man  !     How  often  has  my  heart  gone  out  in  sympathy 
towards  that  poor,  wrecked  woman  whom  he  had  forsaken  ; 
what  a  pity  I  deemed  it  that  so  much  love  should  be  wasted 
upon  a  creature  who  could  never  understand  or  appreciate  it. 
And  yet  Emmeline's  fate  has  been  no  worse  than  that  of  the 
others  ;  but  I  was  more  with  her,  and  saw  how  keenly  she 
suffered,    and    I    sympathised   with   her   when    her   sorrows 
brought  her  nearly  to  the  point  of  death. 

[Number  Thirteen.] 

Amelia  Folsom  Young  is  now  the  favorite,  and  it  is  sup- 
posed that  she  will  continue  to  be  so,  for  at  last  jjoor  Brother 
Brigham  has  found  a  woman  of  whom  he  stands  in  dread.  It 
is  doubtful  whether  he  loves  her,  but  nobody  in  Zion  doubts 
that  he  fears  her.  It  is  said  that  the  Prophet  has  confided  so 
many  of  his  secrets  to  Amelia  that  he  is  obliged  to  submit 
to  her  tyranny,  for  fear  of  her  leaving  him,  and  exposing  some 

282    "PETTICOAT  government"  : THE  REIGNING  FAVORITE. 

of  his  little  ways  which  would  not  bear  the  light.  Be  that 
as  it  may,  it  is  generally  believed  that  after  all  his  matrimonial 
alliances  he  has  at  last  found  his  master  in  the  person  of 
Amelia.  Even  good  Saints — friends  of  the  Prophet — secretly 
enjoy  the  idea  of  him  being  at  last  brought  under  petticoat 
government,  for  it  is  believed  that  Brigham  used  unfair  means 
to  obtain  her,  and  that  at  last  he  only  gained  his  object  by 
deluding  her  into  the  belief  that  the  Lord  had  revealed  to  him 
that  it  was  her  duty  to  become  his  wife.  One  thing  is  very 
certain — he  was  as  crazy  over  her  as  a  silly  boy  over  his  first 
love,  much  to  the  disgust  of  his  more  sober  brethren  who  felt 
rather  ashamed  of  the  folly  of  their  leader.  At  the  theatre  a 
seat  was  reserved  for  her  at  his  side,  and  in  the  bail-room  the 
same  special  attention  was  shown  to  her.  He  would  open  the 
ball,  and,  after  dancing  with  each  of  his  other  wives  who 
might  be  present — simply  for  appearance  sake — the  remainder 
of  the  evening  was  devoted  to  her.  For  all  that,  his  incon- 
stant heart  could  not  remain  faithful  to  her,  and  old  habits  and 
feelings,  to  all  appearance,  have  come  over  him  again,  and  he 
has  gone  astray. 

Julia  Dean,  the  actress,  was  the  first  to  draw  him  from 
Amelia's  side,  and  it  would  have  been  a  sorry  day  for  Amelia 
if  Julia  had  favored  the  Prophet's  suit.  Then  the  charms  of 
Mary  Van  Cott  touched  his  sensitive  heart,  to  say  nothing  of 
Eliza-Ann,  his  last  but  yet  not  his  best-beloved. 

With  all  this  experience,  and  the  constant  evidences  of  the 
fickleness  of  Brother  Brigham's  heart  before  her  eyes,  there  is 
no  wonder  that  poor  Amelia  feels  compelled  to  hold  tight  the 
reins,  now  that  they  are  in  her  own  hands,  for,  if  it  is  not 
much  to  be  known  as  Brigham's  wife,  it  is  a  great  deal  to  be 
known  as  his  favorite.  As  for  the  future — it  is  whispered 
that  Brother  Brigham  has  lately  been  "  setting  his  house  in 
order,"  and  in  the  ordinary  course  of  nature,  Amelia  is  almost 
certain  to  outlive  for  many  years  her  aged  lord,  she  therefore 
can  atford  to  wait  for  the  good  time  coming.  But  Amelia 
knows  that  she  would  sink  into  oblivion  if  he  were  to  cast  her 
off  for  another  before  his  death. 

r-  ^^\?v 

y^MELIA  F0L50M  YOUNG,\jiS.^/y      "ELIZA  ANN, 



[Number  Fourteen.] 

Mary  Van  Cott  Cobb — who  became  Brigham's  wife  after  his 
marriap:e  to  Ameha — is  a  very  handsome  woman,  about 
twenty-eight  yesrs  of  age.  She  is  tall,  slender,  and  graceful, 
and  h  s  been  married  to  the  Prophet  about  six  years.  At 
fiiot  he  appeared  to  be  very  devoted  to  her,  but  Amelia  soon 
put  a  stop  to  that.  Nevertheless,  she  has  since  her  marriage 
presented  a  little  daughter  to  her  lord,  greatly  to  the  annoy- 
ance of  Amelia,  who  has  no  children,  and  who  is  reported  to 
have  said  some  naughty  things  about  the  matter,  which  was 
very  wrong  of  her,  for  Mary  Van  Cott  is  known  by  every  one 
to  be  beyond  reproach  or  suspicion.  She  is  said  to  be  very 
unhappy,  and  though  Brigham  has  provided  her  with  a  fine 
house  and  every  comfort,  yet  she  seldom  sees  him — not  per- 
haps more  than  once  in  three  months,  or  so — though  it  is 
generally  believed  that  his  spirit  is  willing,  but  Amelia  won't 
allow  it. 

[Numl^er  Fifteen.] 

Eliza-Ann  Webb  Dee  Young,  whose  separation  from  Brig- 
ham  Young  has  attracted  so  much  public  attention  has  told 
her  own  story  in  her  own  words  which,  as  it  forms  an  interest- 
ing page  in  the  biography  of  the  Prophet,  I  shall  now  pre- 
sent, exactly  as  it  was  written,  to  the  reader  : 

I  WHS  living  on  my  father's  farm  in  Little  Cottonwood,  when,  in  the  summer  of 
1867,  Brighaiu  Young  informed  my  father  that  he  wanted  me  for  a  wife.  Brig- 
ham,  with  a  number  of  the  Apostles  and  Elders  from  this  city,  was  visiting  Cot- 
tonwood on  a  Sunday  and  held  two  meetings  for  preaching.  It  was  at  the  close 
of  the  forenoon  service  on  that  occasion  that  he  walked  up  to  me  and  said 
"  Had  I  not  better  accompany  you  home."  I  said,  "  Certainly,  if  you  wish  to." 
On  the  way  to  my  father's  house  Brigham  asked  me  if  I  had  had  any  proposals  ot 
marriage  since  I  had  obtained  a  divorce  from  my  first  husband.  I  answered  him, 
"  Yes,  that  I  had  had  several  proposals."  He  then  asked  if  there  was  any  one  ol 
them  that  1  wished  to  accept.  I  said,  "  No,"  on  which  he  said  that  he  would 
like  to  give  me  a  little  advice.  He  advised  me  not  to  wait  to  marry  a  person 
whom  I  loved,  but  to  marry  some  good  man  whom  I  coukl  respect  and  look  u> 
to  and  receive  good  counsel  from. 


I  thanked  him  for  his  counsel,  and  as  my  home  was  so  near  to  the  place  of 
meeting,  the  conversation  abruptly  terminated.  I  thought  nothing  further  of  it. 
His  brother  Joseph  and  George  Q.  Cannon  joined  us  at  the  dinner  table,  and 
while  there  Brigham  and  the  others  remarked  how  youthful  I  had  grown  since  I 
had  got  out  of  my  former  troubles.  As  I  had  much  improved  in  every  way  I  did 
not  regard  his  observations  as  any  intended  compliment  or  any  indication  of 
what  afterwards  I  learned  to  be  passing  in  his  mind. 

At  the  close  of  the  afternoon  service  he  went  up  to  my  father,  took  him  aside  and 
talked  for  at  least  two  hours  to  him  about  me,  and  told  him  how  that  he  had  watched 
me  from  my  infancy,  saw  me  grow  up  to  womanhood,  had  always  loved  me  and 
intended  to  marry  me,  but  having  taken  Amelia  just  after  the  law  was  passed  in 
Congress  prohibiting  polygamy,  he  feared  to  take  another  wife  soon  after,  lest  it 
should  make  trouble,  or  he  would  have  taken  me  then.  My  marriage  with  a 
young  man  was  unlooked-for  to  him,  and  when  he  was  made  acquainted  with  it 
he  did  not  just  like  to  stop  it,  he  said,  and  so  he  let  it  go  on,  but  always  hoped 
that  the  time  would  come  when  he  would  have  me. 

He  wanted  father  and  mother  to  use  all  their  influence  with  me,  as  it  would  be 
the  best  thing  I  could  do.  He  asked  father  if  a  good  house,  well  furnished,  and 
^i,ooo  a  year  pocket  money  would  be  enough  for  me,  and  added  that  if  it  was 
not  enough  I  should  have  more.  Father  answered  that  he  thought  it  would  be 

Brigham  stood  two  hours  or  more  with  father  and  kept  the  whole  of  the  car- 
riages that  conveyed  the  party  standing  waiting  till  after  sundown,  and  little  did 
I  think  that  I  was  "  the  object  of  interest." 

When  father  came  home  he  told  mother  by  herself  ;  then  they  told  me.  I 
cannot  describe  my  feelings  ;  I  was  frightened.  The  thought  of  it  was  a  per- 
fect horror.  I  thought  father  had  gone  crazy,  and  I  would  not  believe  his 
statement  for  hours.  When  I  realised  that  it  was  a  fact  I  could  do  nothing 
but  cry. 

The  idea  of  an  old  man,  sixty-seven  years  of  age,  the  husband  of  about 
twenty  wives  living,  asking  me,  at  twenty-two,  to  be  added  to  the  number  filled 
me  with  the  utmost  abhorrence,  and  when  I  saw  that  my  parents  were  under  his 
influence  and  sustained  Jiis  proposition,  I  was  ready  to  die  in  despair.  Oh  !  the 
horrible  hours  taat  I  spent  in  crying  and  moaning,  no  tongue  can  picture. 

WHien  father  saw  that  I  took  it  so  badly  he  told  me  that  I  would  not  be 
forced  into  it,  but  if  I  could  bring  my  feelings  to  it  and  accept  Brigham  it  would 
be  pleasing  to  him,  and  mother  favored  it  in  the  same  way. 

About  a  month  after  this  I  was  in  the  city  with  an  intimate  lady  friend,  and  as 
we  were  walking  near  to  Brigham's  house  he  came  to  the  gate  and  waited 
for  our  arrival.  When  I  saw  him  I  thought  that  I  would  get  up  courage 
to  tell  him  that  I  would  not  marry  him,  but  I  could  not  say  it.  That  peculiar 
influence  that  he  throws  over  everybody  when  he  has  a  purpose  to  effect  com- 
pletely overcame  me.  He  did  not  allude  to  the  subject  at  all.  I  shook  hands 
and  passed  on. 

He  became  very  kind  to  my  parents,  and  saw  father  frequently.  He  sent  for 
me  to  come  to  the  city  on  several  occasions  and  met  me  at  my  father's  city  res- 
idence, and  talked  to  me  about  marriage  ;  told  me  how  pure  his  feelings  were, 
and  that  his  only  motive  was  to  do  me  good,  save  me  in  the  kingdom  and  make 

"NUMBER   nineteen"    TELLS    HER   OWN    STORY.  28/ 

me  a  queen.  All  that  had  no  effect  upon  me  ;  it  only  disgusted  me  the  more,  and 
the  fear  that  I  dared  not  resist  him  never  left  me.  This  continued  for  nearly  a 
year.  My  eldest  brother  had  had  some  business  transactions  with  Brigham  and 
one  of  his  sons,  which  resulted  in  trouble  and  ultimately  in  financial  injury  to  my 
brother.  Brigham  had  been  very  angry  with  him  and  threatened  to  cut  him  off 
from  the  Church.  I  heard  of  those  threats,  and  believing  at  that  time  in  Mor- 
monism,  I  heard  them  with  deep  sorrow,  and  confess  that,  in  hopes  of  turning 
righam's  anger  away  from  my  brother,  I  began  to  entertain  the  thought  that  I 
would  yield  to  his  request.  I  argued  as  many  inexperienced  persons  do,  that  as 
I  had  had  a  sorrowful  life  and  my  heart  was  crushed,  my  future  life  was  nothing, 
and  if  I  could  sacrifice  myself  for  my  brother's  interest  and  please  my  parents,  I 
would  at  last  submit. 

Finally,  Brigham  named  the  marriage  day  and  informed  me,  through  my  father, 
that  what  I  required  in  preparation  for  my  marriage  he  would  furnish  ;  but 
I  would  accept  nothing.  A  day  before  my  marriage  he  brought  me  three 
dress  patterns— one  silk  and  two  merino— and  handed  to  me  a  purse  with  a 
$50  bill. 

On  the April,  1868,  I  was  married  to  him  in  the  Endowment  House  by 

Heber  C.  Kimball,  his  First  Counsellor.  My  father  and  mother  were  present, 
with  others.  Brigham's  brother  Joseph  also  took  to  himself  a  wife  at  the 
same  time.  After  the  ceremony  I  walked  over  with  him  to  the  conference, 
and  in  the  evening  I  returned  to  my  father's  house  and  remained  there  for 
a  month. 

For  the  first  few  months  I  had  considerable  of  his  attention  ;  his  visits  were 
frequent  5  after  that  his  business  cares  sC'  occupied  hnn,  he  said,  that  he 
could  only  call  about  once  in  three  months.  Alter  that  he  came  "  just  as  it 

When  I  was  married  he  wanted  my  mother  to  live  with  me  in  the  city,  and  a 
year  from  the  marriage  he  sent  us  to  take  charge  of  his  farm,  where  we  remained 
till  last  August,  and  I  removed  again  into  the  city.  While  I  was  at  the  farm  he 
■  came  very  seldom  to  s.e  me,  and  oftentimes  while  he  would  visit  and  look  round 
at  the  farm  he  never  came  into  the  house.  I  had  caused  him  no  trouble  ;  indeed, 
he  had  said  I  was  the  best  wife  he  had,  for  I  had  never  given  him  a  cross  word 
or  look.  But  for  that  good  tv-mpcr  I  take  no  credit,  for  my  silence  was  all 
through  fear.  I  never  loved  him  and  never  said  to  him  that  I  loved  him.  I 
looked  upon  him  as  a  heartless  despot. 

From  the  very  beginning  of  my  married  association  with  Brigham  Young  his 
manner  of  providing  for  me  was  of  the  meanest  character.  I  had  to  come  up, 
even  from  the  farm,  four  miles  distant,  to  the  commissary  of  his  family,  and  was 
glad  when  I  could  get  five  pounds  of  sugar,  one-quarter  of  a  pound  of  tea,  a  bar 
of  soap  and  a  pound  of  candles.  That  I  would  get  about  once  a  month.  About 
a  year  ago  I  complained  to  him  that  I  had  not  sugar  enough  and  he  allowed 
me  what  I  required. 

When  I  returned  to  the  city  he  furnished  me  a  house  in  a  very  ordinary  way 
and  I  continued  to  live  in  the  best  manner  I  could.  But  it  was  the  same  stingy 
way.  W^hen  a  beef  was  killed  I  got  some  fresh  meat ;  but  I  was  frequently 
months  without  seeing  it. 

Tired  with  this  manner  of  existence,  I  asked  his  permission  to  keep  board- 


ers,  with  the  view  of  aiding  myself  and  procuring  for  one  of  my  sons  a  musical 
instrument,  as  he  was  passionately  fond  of  music.  Thj  permission  was  granted, 
and  1  kept  boarders  from  last  March.  My  h^use  was  small,  and  the  business 
was  not  very  lucrative.  I  consequently  went  to  him,  six  weeks  ago,  and  asked 
him  to  aid  me — to  give  me  some  assistan  e  to  makj  life  tolerable.  He  so  med 
angry,  and  complained  that  he  had  so  m^ -y  expenses  and  that  he  wanted  me 
to  keep  myself — to  tuke  the  money  that  I  h..d  saved  to  buy  an  organ  for  my  son 
and  keep  myself  and  family  with  it.  I  got  a  stove  out  of  him,  but  that  was  all. 
During  the  last  year  I  only  obtained  from  him  two  calico  dresses.  This  inter- 
view made  me  sick  and  I  was  in  bed  for  a  week,  with  heart  sickness.  One  of  the 
boarders — who  was  a  lawyer — and  his  wife,  asked  what  ailed  me,  and  I  told  the 
story  of  my  troubles  and  inquired  if  there  was  no  redress.  He  said  that  he 
thought  that  there  was  and  he  would  consult  with  other  lawyers  and  see  what 
could  be  done.  During  all  my  sickness,  while  I  was  his  wife,  he  showed  the 
utmost  indifference.  He  would  hear  what  I  had  to  say,  but  make  almost  no 
answer.  Last  fall  I  was  attacked  with  pleurisy,  and  I  managed  to  get  t'  his 
office  to  see  him  to  tell  him  how  ill  I  was  and  that  I  needed  some  few  things. 
He  appeared  to  comprehend  something  and  finally  called  "  John,"  the  commis- 
sary for  the  family,  and  told  him  to  get  me  two  bits  worth  of  fresh  meat.  He 
has  not  been  inside  my  house  for  nearly  a  year. 

While  I  was  feeling  bad  I  read  Mrs.  Stenhouse's  book,  and  that  showed  me 
things  in  a  clearer  light  than  I  had  seen  them  before. 

I  knew  every  word  was  true  from  my  own  sad  experience,  and  it  encouraged 
me  to  leave  the  hateful  polygamic  life,  and  I  am  glad  that  I  have  done  it. 

About  five  weeks  ago  I  got  very  weak.  I  don't  know  what  was  the  matter 
with  me — probably  general  debility  from  grief  and  mental  suffering.  My  board- 
ers, seeing  my  condition,  aided  me  freely  and  were  very  kind  to  me. 

I  resolved  to  leave  his  house,  packed  up  my  clothes  and  instructed  an  auction- 
eer two  weeks  ago  to  take  away  the  furniture  and  sell  it,  as  a  part  of  it  was  my 
own,  and  I  thought  I  was  entitled  to  the  rest.  The  suit  commenced  has  been 
instituted  by  my  attorneys,  who  have  every  confidence  that  I  can  obtain  alimony  ; 
but  whether  I  do  or  not  I  think  the  world  should  know  Brigham  Young  as  he  is, 
and  my  story  is  a  page  of  his  biography. 

This  is  the  story  of  Eliza-Ann  —  told  in  her  own  words. 
She  is  the  only  wife  whom  Brigham  has  not  supported ;  but 
she  has  been  allowed  to  keep  Gentile  boarders.  I  suppose 
Brother  Young  had  so7ne  reason  when  he  made  this  exception. 

"miss"    ELIZA   R.    SNOW. 
[Number  Sixteen.] 

"Miss"  Eliza  R.  Snow  I  mention  here  as  I  have  not  fol- 
lowed the  order  of  date.  She  and  the  three  ladies,  whose 
names  I  shall  presently  give,  are  the  proxy  wives  of  Brigham, 
living  with  him.      Eliza-Ann,  who  has  become  notorious  of 


late,  is  popularly  known  as  his  nineteenth  wife.  She  is  his 
nineteenth  living  wife  and  the  last-wedded,  according  to  date  ; 
but,  if  the  deceased  wives  were  taken  into  consideration,  she 
might  perhaps  be  about  the  thirtieth.  In  this  list  I  have  put 
all  the  living  wives  who  are  sealed  to  Brigham  "  for  eternity," 
first ;  and  thus  I  count  Eliza-Ann  number  fifteen  ;  but  had  I 
placed  the  proxy  wives,  —  who  are  only  Brigham's  "for  time," 
in  the  list,  she  would,  of  course,  be  the  nineteenth.  The 
newspapers  which  have  written  her  into  notoriety  know  noth- 
ing of  "  proxy"  and  "  spiritual "  wives.  All  are  alike  to  them, 
Eliza  Roxy  Snow,  is  always  spoken  of  among  the  Saints  as 
Miss  Eliza  R.  Snow.  I  have  already  mentioned  her,  and  need 
therefore  only  add  that  Eliza  is  the  high-priestess  and  poet- 
general  of  the  Church  ;  she  is  highly  thought  of  by  the  Saints, 
and  the  year  before  last  was  one  of  a  company  of  Mormon 
missionaries  who  visited  the  Holy  Land,  for  the  purpose  of 
consecrating  it  to  the  Lord.  Last  summer  she  travelled 
through  the  settlements  in  Utah,  urging  the  women  to  enter 
into  the  "  Celestial  Order."  She  is  only  a  proxy  wife  to  Brig- 
ham,  and  will  belong  to  Joseph  Smith  in  the  resurrection. 

[Number  Seventeen.] 

Zina  D.  Huntington  Jacobs  Young  is  another  proxy  wife, 
and  a  widow  of  the  Prophet  Joseph.  She,  too,  will  have  to  be 
handed  over  in  the  day  of  reckoning.  She  has  one  grown  up 
daughter,  of  whom  I  shall  presently  speak  under  rather  inter- 
esting circumstances. 

[Number  Eighteen.] 

Emily  Partridge  Young  is  a  tall,  dark-eyed,  handsome 
woman,  and  she  also  is  a  "proxy"  wife — a  relict  of  Joseph, 
When  Joseph  died,  Brigham  told  his  wives  that  they  were  at 
liberty  to  choose  whom  they  would  for  husbands ;  and  some 
of  them  showed  their  appreciation  of  his  generosity  by  choos- 
ing him  himself.     Thus  it  was  that  Emily  Partridge  became 

290  THE    CHILDREN    OF    THE    PROPHET. 

Brigham's  wife.  The  Prophet  has  dealt  kindly  to  his  brother 
Joseph  Smith,  through  her,  for  she  has  quite  a  family  of 
children  to  be  handed  over  with  her.  She  was  young  and 
handsome  when  the  Prophet  died,  but  perhaps  it  would  be 
wrong  to  suppose  that  that  had  anything  to  do  with  Brigham's 
generosity  to  his  brother,  for  it  is  generally  believed  that  he 
took  all  those  wives  of  Joseph,  from  pure  principle. 

[Number  Nineteen.] 

Augusta  Cobb  Young  is  a  very  fine-looking  woman  and 
must  have  been  quite  handsome  in  her  youthful  days.  As  I 
before  stated,  she  formerly  lived  in  Boston,  but  hearing  Brig- 
ham  preach,  she  fell  in  love  with  him,  abandoned  her  home, 
children,  and  husband,  and,  taking  her  youngest  child  with 
her,  went  to  Salt  Lake  City,  and  was  married  to  the  Prophet. 
It  was  she  who,  when  Brigham  began  to  neglect  her,  wanted 
to  be  sealed  to  Christ,  but  was  ultimately  added  to  the  kingdom 
of  Joseph  Smith. 

Now  these  are  the  Prophet's  wives  —  his  real,  living  wives — 
nineteen  in  all.  How  many  spiritual  wives  he  has  had  it 
would  be  impossible  to  say.  Probably  he  himself  does  not 
know  their  number.  Lately,  I  believe,  he  has  been  making 
his  will,  and,  if  so,  I  suppose  he  has  "taken  count  of  all."  He 
has  besides  in  various  parts  of  Utah  many  other  wives,  who 
are  all  more  or  less  provided  for,  but  they  are  of  little  account, 
and  he  seldom  or  never  sees  them.  The  nineteen  whom  I 
have  named  form  his  family  at  home,  as  I  may  say — are  all 
under  his  own  roof,  or  at  least  they  live  in  Salt  Lake  City,  and 
are  known  to  every  one  as  his  wives.  The  number  of  his 
children  it  would  be  very  difficult  to  estimate.  I  can  count 
up  by  name  between  forty  and  fifty,  and  I  think  the  Prophet's 
living  children  are  rather  under  the  latter  figure.  His  family 
has  however  been  much  diminished  by  death,  though  since  I 
went  to  Utah  this  has  not  been  the  case  so  much  as  I  believe 
it  was  formerly.  One  Mormon  writer — a  very  reliable  and 
trustworthy  man — says  that  the  children  that  the  Prophet  has 


lost  would  fill  a  fair-sized  graveyard.  This  very  probably  may 
be  true,  as  in  the  early  days  of  the  settlement  in  Utah,  priva- 
tion and  the  lack  of  proper  medical  attendance  must  have 
constantly  proved  fatal  to  the  young  children  of  the  Saints. 
But  it  was  before  my  time,  and  therefore  I  cannot  speak  from 
personal  experience. 

A  Mormon  gentleman  one  day  told  me  a  very  funny  story 
in  reference  to  the  Prophet  and  his  little  family.  He  said  that 
he  had  just  had  occasion  to  call  in  at  a  store  in  Main  street,  to 
make  some  purchases,  when  Brigham  himself  came  in  and 
entered  into  conversation  with  him.  A  smart-looking,  clever 
little  boy  entered  the  store  a  few  minutes  after  and  handed  a 
note  to  the  proprietor.  Brother  Brigham  seemed  to  be  greatly 
interested  in  the  child,  and  asked  him  several  cjuestions  in  a 
playful  way.      Turning  at  length  to  my  informant  he  said  : 

"  That's  a  nice  boy.  Brother .     Whose  child  is  it  T'     This 

was  a  very  awkward  question,  for  the  gentleman  was  aware 
that  the  child  was  one  of  Brigham's  own.     He  did  not  like  to 

tell  him  so,  so  he  replied  indirectly,  "  Pie's  one  of  Mrs 

Young's  children,  President."  The  Prophet  looked  somewhat 
amused,  but  did  not  utter  a  word  in  reply, 

I  give  this  story  only  for  what  it  is  worth  and  no  more. 
The  gentleman  who  told  it  doubtless  expected  to  be  believed ; 
but  knowing  the  Prophet  and  his  family,  as  I  do,  I  consider 
the  statement  exaggerated,  to  say  the  least  It  is  a  heavy 
responsibility  to  have  five  and  forty  children — most  of  them 
girls,  too — without  being  accused  of  forgetting  their  person- 
ality altogether. 

In  his  habits  and  mode  of  living,  Brigham  Voung  is  very 
simple,  or  at  least  was  so  until  recently.  When  I  first  knew 
him  he  dressed  in  plain,  homespun,  homemade,  and  every 
article  about  his  person  and  his  houses,  was  as  plain  and 
unostentatious  as  could  possibly  be.  But  the  importation  of 
Gentiles  and  Gentile  goods,  since  the  opening  of  the  railway, 
has  worked  a  great  change.  His  wives  who  once  carried  sim- 
plicity of  dress  almost  to  the  verge  of  dowdyism,  have  now 
acquired  a  taste  for  Eastern  fashions,  and  I  think  if  Brigham 

292  BRIGHAM    YOUNG    AT    HOME, 

were  a  younger  man  and  were  likely  to  live  another  ten  years 
he  would  find  that  wives  were  more  expensive  luxuries  now 
than  they  were  in  the  era  of  "dug-outs"  and  sun-bonnets. 

The  Prophet's  first  home  in  Utah  was  a  little  cottage  which 
is  now  known  as  the  White  House. — The  same  house,  I 
believe,  which  was  valued  at  sixty  thousand  dollars,  and  which 
Brother  Tenant  supposed  he  bought:  —  a  more  scandalous  and 
barefaced  robbery  never  was  perpetrated. 

This  on  the  hill-side,  north  of  the  Eagle  Gate,  and  is  now 
the  residence  of  his  first  wife,  Mrs.  Angell  Young.  The  Bee- 
Hive  House  is  the  official  residence  of  Brother  Brigham. 
There  he  used  to  reign  supreme  as  "Governor"  Young;  and 
thence  he  now  issues  secular  and  ecclesiastical  edicts  to  all  who 
acknowledge  his  sway.  There  is  one  lady  resident  in  this 
house — Mrs.  Lucy  Decker  Young — and  no  one  else  is  jDcr- 
mitted  to  intrude  upon  its  privacy.  Here  the  prophet  has  his 
own  private  bedroom,  and  here  he  breakfasts  when  he  has 
been  at  home  over  night. 

The  Lion  House  is  what  ought  to  be  the  home  of  the 
Proph  :t,  for  here  nearly  all  his  wives  reside.  He  has,  however, 
many  other  houses  in  the  city.  On  the  basement  floor,  the 
dining-room,  kitchen,  pantry,  and  other  general  offices.  The 
first  floor  is  divided  by  a  long  passage  with  doors  on  each  side. 
On  the  right  hand,  about  half  a  dozen  wives  with  small  fami- 
lies find  accommodation.  On  the  left,  at  the  entrance,  is  the 
parlor,  and  the  other  rooms  on  that  side  are  occupied  by 
mothers  with  larger  families,  and  ladies  who  have  a  little  more 
than  ordinary  attention.  The  upper  floor  is  divided  into  twenty 
square  bedrooms. 

There  is  no  extravagance  in  the  furniture  or  apparel  of  these 
wives,  but  they  are  comfortable  and  are  kept  neat  and  clean. 
Again  and  again,  the  Prophet  has  declared  that  the  ten-dollar 
fees  which  are  obtained  from  the  divorces  provide  his  wives 
with  pin-money.  I  do  not  believe  a  word  of  this,  as  the 
amount  thus  obtained  is  far  more  than  the  avaricious  soul  of 
the  Prophet  would  allow  to  pass  out  of  his  hands  for  feminine 
vanities.     But  I  know  of  another  source  of  income  which  is 

INSIDE    THE    LION    HOUSE.  293 

open  to  the  wives.  They  are  allowed  all  the  fruit — peaches 
especially  —  which  they  or  their  children,  can  gather  or  dry. 
This,  in  fact,  is  pretty  nearly  their  only  "pin-money:"  their 
"  lord"  is  not  a  generous  man,  and  they  have  to  make  the  most 
ot  trifles. 

The  Prophet  usually  dines  in  the  Lion  House  at  three  in 
the  afternoon.  Mrs.  Twiss  Young,  as  I  mentioned  before, 
acts  the  part  of  housekeeper,  and  she  acts  it  well.  At  three 
punctually  the  bell  rings  and  the  mothers  with  their  children 
move  down  to  the  dining  room.  They  are  all  seated  at  a  very 
long  table  which  is  lengthened  by  turning  round  at  the  end  of 
the  room.  Each  mother  has  her  children  around  her.  Brig- 
ham  sits  at  the  head  of  the  table,  with  his  favorite — when  at 
home — vis-a-vis,  or  on  his  left,  and  if  a  visitor  is  present  he. 
sits  at  the  Prophet's  right  hand.  The  repast  is  frugal  but 
ample,  for  Brigham  is  a  sober  and  exceedingly  economical 
man.  This  is  the  first  time  he  sees  his  family.  In  the  even- 
ing at  seven  o'clock  the  bell  again  rings,  and  the  mothers  and 
the  children  again  fill  the  sides  and  end  of  the  parlor.  When 
they  are  all  seated,  the  patriarch  enters,  takes  his  seat  at  the 
table  and  chats  quietly  with  those  who  chance  to  go  in  with 
him  to  prayers.  When  all  the  members  of  the  family  are 
assembled,  the  door  is  closed.  All  kneel  down  and  the 
Prophet  prays,  invoking  special  blessings  upon  Zion  and  "the 
kingdom."  This  is  the  last  that  his  family  see  of  him  for  the 
day,  unless  they  have  occasion  to  seek  him  privately. 

With  his  family  Brother  Brigham  is  said  to  be  kind  ;  but  it 
is  supposed  to  be  more  the  awe  which  his  position  as  Prophet 
inspires,  than  the  love  which  they  bear  him  as  a  man  which 
renders  him  successful  in  managing  them.  At  the  same  time, 
that  sweet  familiarity  is  destroyed  which  should  exist  between 
husband  and  wife,  father  and  children.  With  such  a  number 
of  wives,  he  cannot  possibly  wait  upon  them  in  visiting,  and 
in  the  ball-room,  and  other  places  of  amusement.  With  the 
exception  of  his  reigning  favorite,  whoever  for  the  time  she 
may  happen  to  be,  no  one  expects  his  attentions.  At  the 
theatre  a  full  number  of  seats  are  reserved,  and  his  wives 


attend,  or  remain  at  home,  as  they  please.  They  sit  in  the 
body  of  the  parquette,  among  the  rest  of  the  people  ;  but  one 
of  the  two  proscenium  boxes  is  reserved  for  him,  and  beside 
him  is  a  chair  for  the  favorite  Amelia. 

When  he  goes  to  the  ball,  the  same  special  attention  is  shown. 
He  dances  first  with  the  favorite,  and,  if  half  a  dozen  more 
of  his  wives  have  accompanied  them,  he  will  dance  with  each 
of  them  once  in  the  course  of  the  evening ;  but  with  the 
favorite  he  dances  as  frequently  as  any  youth  in  the  ball-room 
with  his  first  maiden  love.  The  Apostles  and  leading  men  of 
the  community,  who  dance  attendance  on  him  and  desire  his 
favor,  are  sure  to  seek  the  pleasure  of  her  hand  and  place  her 
in  the  same  cotillion  with  Brigham,  who  is  thus  able  all  the 
evening  to  enjoy  her  company. 

Some  of  the  Apostles  and  Elders  look  with  pain  upon  this 
boyishness  of  the  Prophet,  and  deplore  it.  Many  of  them  are 
attached  to  their  first  wives,  and  have  shown  them  considera- 
tion and  attention  which  has  not  always  pleased  Brother 
Brigham.  I  have  heard  more  than  one  of  them  express  a  wish 
that  the  Prophet  had  been  a  little  more  attentive  to  his  own 
first  wife.  It  is  only  fair  to  Amelia — the  reigning  favorite — 
to  state  that  she  has  always  been  kind  and  respectful  to  Mrs. 
Angell  Young. 

Up  to  within  the  last  few  years  the  community  heard 
nothing  of  the  Prophet's  family  but  what  was  strictly  decorous 
and  creditable.  If  there  was  any  wrong-doing  it  must  have 
been  very  effectually  hidden  from  the  knowledge  of  outside 
observers.  His  wives  are  kind  and  faithful  mothers,  seeking 
to  live  their  religion  and  ambitious  to  increase  the  glory  of 
their  Lord.  I  know  them  all  personally — some  of  them  inti- 
mately ;  and,  while  I  have  heard  from  some,  with  heavy  hearts, 
of  their  difficulties  in  bearing  ''tJic  cross"  which  all  Mormon 
women  have  to  sustain,  they  have  tried,  I  know,  to  be  sub- 
missive, and  I  think  it  due  to  them  that  I  should  make  this 
present  recognition  of  their  goodness  of  disposition  and  purity 
of  soul. 



Some  Peculiar  Mormon  Doctrines— The  Faith  of  the  Saints— Extraordinary 
Ideas  of  Sacred  Subjects— Polytheism  Taught— Prel-xistence  of  the  Soul- 
Assisting  the  Spirits  to  Emigrate—"  The  Body  that  Shall  Be  "—The  Origin 
of  the  Devil— Brigham's  Adam  Deity— "  Kolob  ":— the  Sun  of  Suns— Father 
Adam  Descends  to  Eden— The  Grades  of  the  Priesthood— Place  and  Position 
in  the  Chmch—OicdJefice  the  Cardinal  Virtue— Patriarchal  Blessings— How 
an  Ancient  Dame  Sold  Her  Petticoats  to  Buy  a  Blessing— The  Thin  End  of 
the  Wedge— Terrible  Doings  in  Missouri— Mormon  Politics— The  Avenging 
Angels— Origin  of  the  "Danites"— Whisperings  of  Dark  Deeds— The 
Bea"ided  "Daughters"  of  Zion— Brigham's  Threat— The  "Death  Society  "— 
The  Prophet  Smith  Murdered— "Milking  the  Gentiles"-" Whittling  an 
Apostate  "— Trcasonal^le  Speeches  and  Practices— Brigham  as  Governor  of 
Utah— Great  Excitement  in  Salt  Lake  City— A  Crisis. 

FROM  time  to  time,  in  the  course  of  this  narrative,  I  have 
had  occasion  to  alhide  to  a  certain  period  of  extraor- 
dinary fanatical  excitement  among  the  Saints  in  Utah, — a 
period  which  was  there  popularly  termed  "  The  Reformation  ;" 
and  I  think  that  a  brief  sketch  of  the  terrible  sayings  and 
doings  of  that  time,  and  the  causes  which  led  to  them,  may 
be  interesting  to  the  reader  and  may  help  to  explain  much 
which  to  a  Gentile  must  otherwise  be  very  obscure. 

The  popular  idea  of  Mormonism  is  that  the  peculiar  feature 
which  distinguishes  it  from  all  other  Christian  sects  is  Poly- 
gamy. To  a  certain  extent  this  is,  of  course,  true  ;  but  it  is 
only  a  jxartial  statement  of  the  truth.  If  Polygamy  were  to 
be  relinquished,  it  would  still  be  found  that  Mormonism  had 
really  very  little  in  common  with  other  sects,  and  very  much 
that  was  completely  antagonistic  to  them. 


The  confession  of  faith  published  by  Joseph  Smith  during 
his  life-time  would  certainly  deceive  an  uninitiated  person  ;  and 
it  was  in  consequence  of  the  ambiguity  of  that  very  document 
that  so  many  unsuspecting  persons  were  from  the  beginning 
of  Mormonism  led  astray  by  the  teachings  of  the  Mission- 
aries. The  convert  was  told  that  the  Mormon  faith  pro- 
claimed the  existence  of  one  true  God,  but  he  was  not  told 
that  Father  Adam  was  that  deity,  and  that  He  is  "like  a 
well-to-do  farmer."  He  was  told  that  Christ  was  the  Son  of 
God,  but  he  was  not  taught  that  the  Virgin  Mary  was  "  the 
lawful  wife  of  God  the  Father,"  and  that  "  He  intended  after 
the  resurrection  to  take  her  again,  as  one  of  His  own  wives,  to 
raise  up  immortal  spirits  in  eternity.  He  was  told  of  faith  in 
a  Saviour,  he  was  not  told  that  men  were  the  only  saviours 
of  their  wives,  and  that  unless  a  woman  pleased  her  husband 
and  was  obedient  and  was  saved  by  him,  she  could  not  be 
saved  at  all.  He  was  told  that  the  Saints  believed  in  the 
Holy  Ghost,  but  he  was  not  told  that  "The  Holy  Ghost  is  a 
man  ;  he  is  one  of  the  sons  of  our  Father  and  our  God. 
You  think  our  Father  and  our  God  is  not  a  lively,  sociable,  and 
cheerful  man ;  He  is  one  of  the  most  lively  men  that  ever  lived ! " 

And  yet,  although  such  fearful  and  shocking  blasphemy 
was,  of  course,  hidden  from  the  convert  whom  it  was  desirable 
to  impress  with  the  idea  that  Mormonism  was  only  a  develop- 
ment of  Christianity,  it  was  openly  taught  in  the  sermons  in 
the  Tabernacle  before  thousands  of  people,  and  inculcated  in 
the  writing  of  the  highest  authorities.  The  passages,  which  I 
have  just  quoted,  were  preached  in  public,  were  taken  down  in 
short-hand,  were  revised  under  the  superintendence  of 
Brigham  Young  or  one  of  the  chief  leaders,  were  then 
printed,  and  published  in  Salt  Lake  City,  and  afterwards 
reprinted  in  another  form. 

The  verbal  repetition  of  such  blasphemy  as  this  would  be 
simply  painful  and  disgusting  to  any  right-minded  person.  I 
shall  therefore  endeavor  to  give  an  idea  of  some  of  these 
outrageous  doctrines  without  entering  too  closely  into  details. 
Should  the  reader,  however,  wish  to  search  and  see  for  him- 


self,  T  refer  him  to  the  yonrnah  of  Discourses,  the  files  of  the 
Church  papers,  and  the  publications  of  the  Mormon  writers 
generally.  ■ 

One  of  the  first  innovations  upon  the  received  faith  of 
ordinary  Christians  was  the  doctrine  of  Polytheism.  There 
can  be  no  doubt  that,  even  in  Joseph's  time,  that  doctrine  was 
taught,  although,  as  in  the  case  of  Polygamy,  all  knowledge 
of  it  was  kept  from  every  one  but  the  initiated — the  "strong 
men  "  who  could  be  entrusted  with  the  inner  secrets  of  the 
Church  leaders.  That  such  a  doctrine,  however,  was  besrin- 
ning,  even  then,  to  form  part  of  the  faith  of  the  Saints,  may- 
be seen  in  the  following  lines  upon  the  occasion  of  the 
Prophet's  murder : 

"Unchanged  in  death,  with  a  Sa-iioiir^s\o\e, 

He  pleads  their  cause  in  the  courts  above. 
"  His  home's  in  the  sky,  /le  dwells  xuilh  the  Gods, 

Far  from  the  furious  rage  of  mobs! 

"  lie  died !  he  died  for  those  he  loved ; 
He  reigns  I     He  reigns  in  the,  realms  above." 

Many  other  instances,  even  stronger  than  this,  could  easily 
be  given. 

The  Mormon  idea  of  the  other  world,  while  in  some  respects 
it  differed  from  the  teachings  of  certain  modern  "  Spiritualists" 
was  not  altogether  dissimilar.  The  soul  was  said  to  be 
immortal,  and  it  had  three  stages  of  existence.  The  first  was 
purely  spiritual — the  state  of  the  soul  bcfo7-c  it  came  into  this 
world.  Spirits  in  that  condition  were  not  perfect,  they  must 
first  take  a  fleshly  body,  and  pass  through  the  trials  of  life, 
before  they  could  attain  to  the  highest  state  of  existence. 
Hence  it  was  a  solemn  duty,  as  well  as  their  highest  privilege, 
for  men  to  practice  Polygamy: — their  duty,  as  by  this  means, 
and  by  this  alone,  the  yet  imperfect  souls  now  waiting  to 
come  into  this  world  could  ever  hope  to  be  admitted  into  the 
"Celestial  Kingdom  ;" — and  a  privilege,— as  all  the  souls  whom 
they  thus  assisted  to  emigrate  would  form  their  own  "  King- 
doms" in  eternity,  over  which  as  kings  and  priests  they 
would  reign  for  ever  and  ever. 


The  second  stage  of  the  soul's  existence  is  the  mortal  ; 
with  which  we  all  are  sadly  well  acquainted.  The  third  is 
the  condition  subsequent  to  the  Resurrection,  'when  they 
believe  the  flesh  and  bones  will  form  the  raised  body,  but  the 
blood  will  not  be  there  ;  for  the  blood  is  the  principle  of 
corrupt  life,  and  therefore  another  spirit  supplies  its  place  in 
heaven.  That  Christ  partook  of  some  broiled  hsh  and  part  of^ 
a  honeycomb  is  evident  from  Holy  Scripture: — the  Mormons 
therefore  teach  that  heaven  will  be  very  much  the  same  as 
earth,  only  considerably  improved.  We  shall  not  marry  there 
or  be  given  in  marriage  ;  hence  it  is  necessary  for  us  to 
marry  here,  and  to  marry  as  much  as  we  can,  for  then  in 
heaven  a  man  will  take  the  wives  whom  he  married  on  earth, 
or  who  have  been  sealed  to  him  by  proxy  ;  they  will  be  his 
queens,  and  their  children  will  be  his  subjects.  We  shall  eat, 
and  drink,  and  feast,  and  spend  a  happy  time  generally.  We 
shall  henceforth  never  die — hence  we  shall  ourselves  be 
gods ! 

It  was  in  the  preexistent  state,  the  Mormons  teach,  that  the 
work  of  salvation  was  first  planned — but  not  after  the  fashion 
believed  by  all  Christians.  A  grand  celestial  council  was 
held,  at  which  all  the  Sons  of  God  appeared.  Michael,  the 
father  of  all,  presided,  and  stated  that  he  proposed  to  create  a 
new  world,  of  which  he  proceeded  to  give  some  details.  His 
first-begotten  then  arose,  and  made  a  speech,  in  which  he 
proposed  that  Michael,  his  father,  should  go  down  to  the 
world,  when  created,  with  Eve,  his  mother,  and  do  there  much 
after  the  fashion  of  what  is  related  of  our  first  parents  in  the 
book  of  Genesis  ;  he  himself  would  descend  some  thousands 
of  years  subsequently,  and  would  lead  his  erring  brethren 
back,  and  save  them/ro7u  their  sins.  Lucifer,  the  second  son, 
then  stood  forth  and  unfolded  /lis  plan.  Jealous  of  the 
popularity  of  his  elder  brother,  he  proposed  to  save  men  in 
their  sins. 

Great  discussion  ensued,  in  which  the  unnumbered  family 
of  heaven  divided  into  three  parties, — one  under  each  of  the 
two  elder  sons,  and  the  third  standing  neutral.     After  a  ter- 


rible  conflict,  Lucifer,  the  second  son  was  defeated,  and,  with 
all  his  followers,  was  driven  out  of  heaven.  They  descended 
into  the  abyss,  where  they  founded  the  infernal  kingdom,  of 
which  Lucifer  became  the  chief  :— he  was  henceforth  known 
as  the  Devil.  Adam  created  his  world,  and  carried  out  his 
part  of  the  plan  ;  and  in  due  time  the  eldest  son,  who  con- 
quered in  heaven,  took  upon  him  the  form  of  flesh,  dwelt 
among  men,  and  was  known  as  their  Redeemer.  The  spirits 
who  stood  neutral  during  the  fight  subsequently  took  upon 
them  forms  of  fiesh,  entering  into  the  children  of  Ham,  and 
were  known  as  Negroes.  Therefore  it  is,  that  although  the 
American  Indians  and  all  other  races  are  eligible  for  the 
Mormon  priesthood,  the  negro  alone  can  never  attain  to  that 
high  dignity. 

'  It  is  only  natural,  amidst  all  this  confusion  of  ideas,  to  ask. 
Who  then  is  the  real  Originator  of  created  things  ? 

In  the  eternity  of  matter,  the  Mormons  have  from  the  first 
believed  ;  but  they  have  supposed  that  the  formation  of 
worlds  and  systems  had  definite  dates,  although  they  are 
unknown  to  us.  Far  away  in  the  immensity  of  space  is 
"  KoLOB  " — the  great  and  glorious  sun  of  suns,  the  abode  of 
the  First  Principle  of  Godhead  of  which  we  can  form  any 
conception.  Around  that  Sun,  countless  other  systems 
revolve,  of  which  ours  is  one.  That  Sun  itself  may  be  only 
one  of  many  other  systems  whose  origin  and  existence  is  lost 
in  inconceivable  space,  and  concerning  which  we  can  form  no 
just  realisation  while  in  this  finite  state.  From  the  First 
Source  in  "  Kolob  "  other  gods  have  proceeded  in  precisely 
the  same  way  as  genealogies  and  "  family-trees "  have  been 
continued  on  earth.  Each  new  Patriarchal  "  god  "  has  formed 
his  own  earth  out  of  the  aggregation  of  matter ;  and  over  that 
earth  he  reigns. 

On  the  9th  of  April,  1852,  Brigham  Young  publicly 
announced  that — 

"  When  our  faUier  Adam  came  into  the  Garden  of  Eden,  he  came  into  it  with 
a  celestial  body,  and  brouijht  Eve,  one  of  his  wives,  with  him.  He  helped  to 
make  and  orgdiiise  tliis  world.     He  is  Michael  the  Archangel,  the  Ancient  of 


Days,  about  whom  holy  men  have  written  and  spoken.     He  is  our  '  Father  and 
our  God,'  and  the  only  god  with  whom  we  have  to  do." 

This  public  declaration  gave  great  offence  and  led  to  the 
apostacy  of  many.  Nevertheless  Brigham  Young  thinks  that 
just  as  Adam  came  down  to  Eden  and  subsequently  became 
a  god,  in  like  manner  he  also  himself  will  attain  to  the  god- 
head. Heber  C.  Kimball,  zealous  to  go  a  step  further 
declared  that  Brigham  was  "  God,"  and  that  he,  Kimball, 
stood  towards  him  in  the  same  relation  as  the  Third  Person 
in  the  Blessed  Trinity  does  towards  the  First. 

It  will  hence  be  seen  that  subordination  is  one  of  the  first 
principles  of  the  Mormon  faith,  and  this  even  in  the  Church 
organisation  of  the  Saints  has  been  distinctively  shown.  For 
the  purposes  for  which  it  exists  the  Mormon  hierarchy  could 
not  be  surpassed.  Of  the  Priesthood  there  are  two  orders — 
the  Melchisedec  and  the  Aaronic  ;  of  which  the  former  ranks 
first  and  highest.  The  lowest  rank  in  the  Church  is  the 
"  Deacon  ;  "  he  looks  after  the  places  of  meeting,  takes  up 
collections,  and  attends  to  other  similar  duties.  Next  comes 
the  "  Teacher"  ; — he  visits  the  Saints  and  takes  note  of  their 
standing — and  reports  the  same : — weakness  of  faith  or  back- 
wardness in  paying  tithing  is  never  overlooked  by  him.  After 
him  is  the  "Priest,"  and  above  him  is  the  Elder  whose  office 
it  is  to  preach,  baptize  and  lay  on  'hands.  All  these  belong  to 
the  order  of  the  Aaronic — or  the  Levitical  priesthood. 
"Bishops"  are  simply  Church  officers  having  local  jurisdiction. 

The  lowest  grade  in  the  Melchisedec  Priesthood  is  the 
"  Elder."  He  administers  in  all  the  ordinances  of  the  Church. 
Above  him  there  is  no  higher  rank  as  respects  the  priesthood, 
but  in  respect  to  office  there  are  various  gradations,  as,  for 
example,  the  "  High  Priests,"  the  "  Seventies,"  and  "Bishops" 
who  occupy  positions  of  authority,  although  both  go  on  mis- 
sion, and  also  the  Apostles.  The  "Apostles"  were  chosen  in 
imitation  of  the  "Twelve"  appointed  by  Christ;  and  in  the 
same  way  the  "  Seventies,"  in  imitation  of  the  seventy 
disciples  sent  forth  to  preach  and  work  miracles.  They  claim 
rank  next  to  the  Twelve.     The  "Quorum  of  the  Apostles"  is 


presided  over  by  the  eldest  of  their  number ;  the  "  Quorums 
of  Seventies  "  are  each  composed  of  seventy  Elders  with  a 
"President"  and  six  "Counsellors."  The  number  of  "quorums" 
is  unlimited  ;  and  over  them  all  collectively  is  another  presi- 
dent and  six  counsellors. 

The  highest  authority  in  the  Church  is  the  "  First  Presi- 
dency"— the  three  members  of  which  at  present  are  Brigham 
Young,  George  A.  Smith,  and  Daniel  H.  Wells, — who  are 
said  to  represent  on  earth  the  three  Persons  of  the  Blessed 
Trinity ! 

As,  from  "President "  Young  down  to  the  most  illiterate 
"Elder,"  every  one  is  supposed  to  be  specially  inspired,  and  to 
be  immediately  guided  by  the  gift  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  educa- 
tion is  utterly  unnecessary  to  the  members  of  the  Mormon 
Priesthood  ;  in  fact  it  has  always  been  looked  upon  as  an 
impediment  to  its  possessor.  Obedience  is  considered  the 
highest  qualification,  and  it  was  the  strict  enforcement  of 
obedience  on  the  part  of  the  ordinary  people  and  the  lower 
grades  of  the  Priesthood  towards  the  higher  that  alone  could 
have  made  possible  that  state  of  affairs  which  existed  during 
the  "  Reformation."  Hence  also  it  is  that  Brigham  Young 
and  the  leaders  are  rightly  held  responsible  for  the  deeds  of 
violence  and  fanaticism  which  their  followers  may  perpetrate  ; 
for  it  is  well  known  that  no  Mormon,  in  a  matter  of  grave 
importance,  would  dare  to  act  upon  his  own  responsibility  and 
without  he  felt  sure  that  what  he  did  would  meet  with  the 
approbation  of  those  in  authority. 

There  is  another  class  of  Church-officer  which  I  had  very 
nearly  forgotten — the  Patriarchs.  The  chief  of  these  is  called 
"The  Presiding  Patriarch  over  the  Church";  the  rest  are 
«'  Patriarchs  in  the  Church."  The  office  of  these  dignitaries 
is  to  bless  the  people  and  to  be  paid  for  their  blessings.  The 
price  of  good  blessings  is  variable.  Not  long  ago,  when  money 
was  scarce  and  payments  were  made  in  produce,  two  dollars 
was  considered  reasonable  ;  and  if  several  were  wanted  for  the 
same  familv,  a  reduction  was  made.  Hvrum  Smith,  the  orid- 
nal  Prophet's  eldest  brother,  was  the  first  Patriarch;  and  to 


him  succeeded  "  Uncle  John,"  as  he  was  popularly  called — the 
eldest  brother  of  Brigham  ; — the  present  Patriarch  is  the  son 
of  Hyrum  ;  still  a  young  man,  who  obtained  his  office  by 
inheritance — and  this,  I  believe,  is  about  the  only  office  in  the 
Church  which  Brother  Brigham  has  permitted  the  Smith  family 
to  inherit  or  enjoy. 

Odd  as  it  may  seem,  some  of  the  people  have  quite  a  passion 
for  these  "  blessings."  I  knew  one  old  Frenchwoman  who  was 
said,  like  the  woman  in  the  parable,  in  respect  to  the  physi- 
cians, to  have  "  spent  all  of  her  living  upon  them."  I  met  her 
one  day  with  a  flannel-petticoat  under  her  arm,  which  she  was 
going  to  sell.  Upon  enquiry  she  frankly  told  me  that  she  had 
given  her  last  cent  and  had  sold  every  scrap  of  any  value  which 
she  possessed,  and  very  nearly  all  her  clothes,  in  order  to 
obtain  "  blessings,"  and  as  she  did  not  understand  English  she 
was  now  going  to  sell  her  old  petticoat — the  very  last  article 
of  any  value  which  she  now  possessed — to  pay  an  old  dame, 
who  knew  a  little  I£nglish,  for  her  services  in  translating  the 
"  blessings."  She  was  in  a  state  of  great  sorrow  at  the  thought 
that  now  her  supply  of  blessings  would  be  stopped — she  would 
have  to  do  without. 

The  Patriarchs,  however,  at  no  time  possessed  any  particular 
personal  or  official  weight,  and  from  them  never  proceeded  any 
of  those  strange  doctrines  which  excited  the  people  to  violence 
and  bloodshed.  In  a  religious  sense  this  outrageous  fanati- 
cism was  all  originated  in  the  first  place  in  Missouri  by  some 
of  the  more  prominent  men,  such  as  Sidney  Rigdon,  Dr.  Avard, 
David  Patten,  and  others,  doubtless  with  the  connivance  of  the 
Prophet  Joseph,  not  long  after  the  organisation  of  the  Church; 
and  subsequently  by  the  extreme  and  preposterous  doctrines 
constantly  inculcated  by  Brigham  Young  and  some  of  the 
leading  Elders,  among  whom  Jedediah  M.  Grant  and  Heber 
C.  Kimball  were  the  most  conspicuous.  In  a  joolitical  sense 
it  was  the  natural  result  of  the  peculiar  position  of  the  Saints 
in  Missouri,  Ohio,  and  Illinois,  and  of  the  ridiculous  threats  of 
Brigham  Young  against  the  Federal  Government,  after  the 
exodus  of  the  Mormons  to  Salt  Lake  Valley,  together  with  the 

THE    KINGDOM    OF    THE    SAINTS    ON    EARTH.  303 

idea  which  had  become  popular  among  the  people,  that  a 
temporal  "  kingdom "  was  to  be  set  up  among  the  Rocky 
Mountains,  and  that  Christ  should  personally  reign  and  rule 

The  idea  of  reviving  the  old  Jewish  polity  was  always  upper- 
most in  the  minds  of  the  first  teachers.  Hence  they  revived 
the  Priesthood  and  High-priesthood  in  their  various  forms  ;  a 
magnificent  temple  was  built  in  Nauvoo,  just  as  another  temple 
is  now  being  erected  at  Salt  Lake  City  ;  and  so  far  did  they 
go  that  it  was  even  determined  that  the  ancient  sacrifices 
should  eventually  be  restored.  At  the  same  time,  while  the 
minds  of  the  Mormons,  newly-converted  and  fired  with  zeal, 
were  bent  upon  founding  the  Kingdom  of  the  Saints  on  earth, 
the  people  of  Missouri,  among  whom  they  dwelt,  heard  that 
even  in  social  life  the  customs  of  the  Jews  were  to  be  intro- 
duced, and  that  Polygamy  was  to  be  practiced.  Husbands 
and  brothers  trembled  for  their  wives  and  sisters,  and  the 
hatred  to  the  new  religion  was  increased  when  it  was  observed 
that  the  Mormons  in  every  political  movement  held  all  together 
and  voted  as  one  man,  thus  exercising  an  influence  which  no 
ordinary  religious  sect  could  have  possessed  or  wielded  ;  this, 
the  discipline  of  the  hierarchy,  to  which  I  have  already  referred, 
enabled  them  to  do. 

Ill-feeling  was  shown  on  both  sides ;  in  a  thousand  j^etty 
ways  at  first,  with  more  serious  results  presently.  The  Mor- 
mons were  accused  of  circulating  large  quantities  of  base  coin, 
of  cheating  and  defrauding  the  Gentiles,  as  they  called  every- 
one— even  Jews — who  rejected  the  new  religion,  and  of  even 
being  guilty  of  darker  crimes  ; — which  last  charge,  however, 
was  at  first  only  hinted  at.  On  the  other  hand,  the  Mormons 
accused  their  enemies  of  every  possible  villainy  of  which  men 
and  women  could  be  guilty.  The  real  fact  would  appear  to 
be  that  both  the  Mormons  and  their  enemies  were  at  that 
time  guilty  of  much  wrong-doing  against  each  other,  while,  at 
the  same  time,  much  that  was  alleged  on  both  sides  was  utterly 
groundless,  and  only  originated  in  the  natural  jealousy  which 
Western   pioneers— rough-and-ready  frontiers-men,   such  as 

304  "THE    AVENGING    ANGELS"  : — ^^"TIIE    DANITES." 

the  people  of  those  parts  then  were — would  naturally  feel 
when  enlisted  in  two  parties,  animated  by  religious  and  politi- 
cal hatred  against  each  other. 

Now  came  whisperings  of  still  more  atrocious  deeds.  It 
was  alleged  that,  among  the  Mormons,  a  secret  body  of  men 
had  been  chosen,  who  were  enrolled,  under  the  most  frightful 
oaths,  to  avenge  every  wrong  which  might  be  perpetrated 
against  the  Saints.  This  band  was  said  to  have  originated 
with  Sidney  Rigdon  and  Dr.  Sampson  Avard,  and,  as  I  have 
somewhere  else  mentioned,  Thomas  B.  Marsh  and  Hyde  the 
present  chief  of  the  Apostles  both  made  affidavit  that  such 
was  the  case,  and  that  the  band  was  sworn  to  commit  the 
most  shocking  acts  of  vengeance, — and  surely  Marsh  and 
Hyde  ought  to  know.  Various  names  were  chosen  for  this 
"  death  society."  First  the  members  were  called  Daughters 
of  Zion  \_froin  Micah  iv.  13.]  But  as  it  sounded  rather  ridicu- 
lous to  speak  of  bearded  ruffians  as  '  daughters,'  that  name 
was  abandoned,  and  the  title  "Avenging  Angels"  substituted; 
and  that,  with  some  other  names  then  temporarily  used,  were 
subsequently  dropped  for  the  name  "  Danites  "  Yfroni  Genesis 
xlix.  17,]  which  has  since  been  retained; — not  by  the  Mor- 
mons, for  they  have  ever  denied  the  existence  of  any  such 
band,  but  by  the  Gentiles. 

It  matters  very  little  what  the  name  of  such  a  society  might 
be,  so  long  as  it  existed  at  all  ;  and  that  it  does,  and  has,  ex- 
isted in  some  form  cannot  reasonably  be  denied.  There  pro- 
bably is  not  at  the  present  time  any  formally  enrolled  society, 
but  it  is  quite  certain  that  for  many  years  past  if  "  The 
Church "  had  only  dropped  a  hint  that  any  man's  blood 
ought  to  be  shed,  that  man  would  have  had  a  very  short 
tenure  of  his  life.     Even  Brigham  himself  said  publicly : 

"If  men  come  here  and  do  not  behave  themselves,  they  will  not  only  find  the 
Danites,  whom  they  talk  so  much  about,  biting  the  horses'  heels,  but  the  scoun- 
drels will  find  something  biting  their  heels.  In  my  plain  remarks  I  simply  call 
things  by  their  own  names." 

It  is  beyond  a  doubt  that,  notwithstanding  all  the  social 
changes  and  improvements  of  late  years,  the  secret  police  of 


Salt  Lake  City  arc  in  matters  of  crime,  as  well  as  in  fact, 
though  not  perhaps  nominally,  the  successors  of  the  original 
"  death  society  ;" — many  of  its  members  are  known  to  have 
committed  grievous  crimes  and  to  have  repeatedly  dyed  their 
hands  in  blood.  The  shocking  deeds  that  every  now  and  then 
are  divulged  to  the  world  are  all  of  their  doing,  and  no  resid- 
ent of  Salt  Lake  City,  whether  Mormon  or  Gentile,  although 
he  might  prudently  decline  to  state  his  opinions,  would  in  his 
mind  question  the  fact  that  it  is  fear  of  consequences,  and  only 
because  the  Saints  are  "  on  their  good  behavior  "  in  the  sight 
of  the  Federal  Government,  that  the  hands  of  these  wretches 
are  withheld  from  a  continuance  of  their  old  enormities. 

As  might  be  supposed,  the  establishment  of  a  secret  band 
of  men  professedly  ready  at  a  moment  to  steal,  to  shed  blood, 
or  commit  any  crime  at  the  command  of  their  leaders  created 
great  excitement  in  the  whole  State  of  Missouri,  and  especially 
in  the  vicinity  of  the  Mormon  Settlements. 

Like  the  Lshmaelites  of  old,  the  hands  of  the  Saints  w^ere 
against  every  man,  and  every  man's  hand  was  against  them. 
They  were  taught  that  they  were  "  a  chosen  nation,  a  royal 
priesthood,  a  peculiar  people" — the  "Sword  of  the  Lord  and 
of  Gideon  "  was  to  be  theirs  ;  they  were  to  go  forth  conquering 
and  to  conquer;  and  the  Gentiles  were  to  be  trodden  down 
beneath  their  feet. 

As  might  be  expected,  trouble  immediately  arose ;  the  people 
of  Missouri  outraged  the  Mormons,  and  the  Mormons  in  return 
outraged  them.  Murders,  thefts,  and  the  most  shameful 
atrocities  were  of  daily  occurrence,  and  the  history  of  those 
terrible  doings  would  fill  a  good-sized  volume.  Suffice  it  to  say, 
that  the  excitement  continued  and  increased,  reprisals  being 
made  on  both  sides  ;  finally  the  mob  was  triumphant,  and  after 
committing  many  fearful  excesses  it  was  organised  into  a 
militia— the  leading  men  in  autliority  declaring  that  the  Mor- 
mons must  either  leave  the  State  or  else  they  must  be  extir- 
pated by  the  sword. 

Notwithstanding  all  this,  the  Mormons,  at  all  times  an 
industrious  people,  were  in  one  sense  successful  and  prosper- 

300  "whittling  out"  a  gentile. 

ous  ;  the  morality,  however,  of  some  of  their  leading  men  was 
to  say  the  least  very  questionable.  It  was  openly  argued  that 
the  silver  and  gold  were  the  Lord's,  and  so  were  the  cattle  on 
a  thousand  hills.  The  Scripture  says  that  God  has  given  his 
people  all  things  richly  to  enjoy.  The  Saints  were  the  people 
of  God  : — He  had  given  tJievi  all  the  wealth  and  substance  of 
the  earth,  and  therefore  it  was  no  sin  for  them  to  help  them- 
selves— they  were  but  taking  their  own.  To  over-reach  or 
defraud  their  enemies  was  facetiously  called  by  the  Mormons 
"  milking  the  Gentiles." 

Their  city  called  Nauvoo — The  Beautiful, — a  name  given 
by  the  Prophet  Joseph  and  supposed  to  be  of  celestial  origin, 
was  well  laid  out  and  well  built,  a  costly  Temple  was  nearly 
complete,  and  the  leaders,  at  least,  began  to  show  signs 
of  wealth  and  prosperity.  This  however  was  but  the  lull 
before  the  storm.  Writs  upon  various  charges  against  Joseph 
and  the  leading  Elders  had  always  been  floating  about,  and 
the  serving  of  some  of  the  later  ones  had  only  been  prevented 
by  technical  difficulties  or  the  personal  fears  of  the  Sheriff. 
To  enter  Nauvoo  for  the  purpose  of  arresting  the  Prophet  was 
like  bearding  the  lion  in  his  den  ;  for  by  this  time  one  of  the 
best-equipped  and  best-drilled  militia  regiments  under  the 
name  of  the  Nauvoo  Legion  had  been  organised,  and  Joseph 
had  been  elected  Lieutenant-General.  The  regiment  con- 
sisted solely  of  well-tried  Mormons  who  were  devotedly 
attached  to  their  leader  ;  besides  which,  the  whole  of  the 
population  of  the  city  was  at  his  call  at  a  moment's  notice. 

Into  the  city  of  the  Saints,  as  far  as  was  possible  to  prevent 
it,  no  Gentile  was  allowed  to  intrude.  It  was  at  risk  of  life 
and  property  that  any  one  ventured.  One  oddly  original 
mode  of  driving  out  the  devoted  stranger  i-s  worthy  of  mention 
— it  was  called  "  whittling  a  man  out  of  the  town  !"  Oppo- 
site the  victim's  door  a  number  of  men  and  overgrown  boys 
would  take  up  their  quarters — each  armed  with  a  stout  stick 
of  wood  and  a  huge  knife.  No  sooner  did  the  Gentile  appear 
than  the  whole  horde  gathered  in  a  circle  round  him.  Not  a 
word  was  uttered,  but  each  man  grasping  firmly  his  stick  in 


his  left  hand,  pointed  its  other  end  to  within  a  few  inches  of 
the  victim's  face,  while  with  the  knife  in  his  right  hand  he 
sliced  a  shaving  out  of  the  wood  in  such  a  way  as  to  bring  the 
point  of  the  knife  almost  against  the  face  of  the  unfortunate 
man.  Wherever  he  turned  they  attended  him,  always  preserv- 
ing the  strictest  silence,  and  never  actually  touching  him. 
The  intolerable  sensation  caused  by  the  "  whittling  "  of  this 
strange  body-guard — who  were  in  attendance  day  and  night — 
and  the  unpleasantness  of  seeing  half  a  score  of  sharp  knives 
flashing  perpetually  within  an  inch  ot  his  nose  generally  sub- 
dued the  strongest-minded  Gentile — few  could  endure  it  for 
more  than  a  day  or  so  at  the  utmost  :  they  were  glad  to  leave 
— "  Whittled  out  of  the  town  !" 

The  evil  day,  however,  at  last  came.     The  Prophet,  fear- 
ing arrest,  fled,  but   was    persuaded    to    return    and   deliver 
himself    up.     The    charge    against    him    was   one  for  which 
reasonable   bail  could  be  taken  :  bail  was    offered,  accepted, 
and    the    prisoners   discharged.     Before    leaving  court,  how- 
ever, the    Prophet   and   his    brother  Hyrum,    the    Patriarch, 
were  arrested  upon  a  trumped-up  charge  of  treason — a  charge 
for  which  it  was  impossible  that  bail  should  be  taken  ;  they 
were  therefore  committed  to  custody  in  Carthage  jail,  under 
'solemn    promise    from    Governor    P'ord    of    Illinois  that  the- 
State    should    be   answerable   for   their  personal  protection.. 
The  same    day,  however,  a  mob  of  over  one  hundred  men,, 
assisted,  it  is    said,  by  the  militia  who  were  left  in  charge, 
burst    into    the   jail    and    assassinated  the  Prophet   and  his, 

As  might  be  supposed  this  outrage  by  no  means  weakened' 
the  Mormon  cause — their  Prophet  was  now  a  martyr,  and  his 
name  more  powerful  after  death  than  it  could  possibly  have 
been  had  he  lived.  It  was,  however,  clearer  than  ever  that 
nothing  could  now  reconcile  the  people  of  Illinois  to  the 
Mormons,  and  the  latter  seriously  began  to  think  of  leaving 
that  State  in  a  body  as  they  had  formerly  left  Missouri. 

The  terrible  doings  ot  those  times  I  have  no  idea  of  relat- 
ing just  now — I  simply  allude  to  them  in  order  that  the  reader 


may  understand  how,  in  the  excitement  produced  in  that 
border-warfare,  it  was  possible  for  such  strange  events  as 
afterwards  transpired  in  Utah  to  originate.  I  may  simply  add, 
that  the  Temple  being  completed,  and  the  first  "  Endow- 
ments "  given  there,  the  people  gathered  up  what  little  pro- 
perty they  could  rescue  from  the  mob,  and  under  the  guid- 
ance of  Brigham  Young,  and  amidst  privations,  sufferings, 
and  outrages  of  the  most  painful  character,  left  the  city  which 
they  had  founded  in  Illinois  and  set  out  for  the  Rocky  Moun- 
tains, where,  beside  the  Great  Salt  Lake,  they  founded  their 
modern  Zion. 

Free  now  from  the  violence  of  mobs  and  Gentile  enmity,  it 
might  have  been  supposed  that  the  hatred  which  had  so  long 
been  part  of  the  Mormon  faith  would  have  died  a  natural 
death.  The  contrary,  however,  was  the  case.  The  Mexican 
war  was  then  raging,  and,  en  route  to  the  Rocky  Mountains, 
the  Mormons  had  received  a  proposal  from  the  Federal 
Government  that  they  should  supply  a  regiment,  upon  highly 
■advantageous  conditions,  to  join  the  United  States  troops 
which  were  then  operating  in  California.  This  suggestion 
was  kindly  made,  for  it  was  thought  that  the  Mormon  regi- 
ment thus  raised  would  in  reality  be  only  marching  their  own 
way  in  going  to  California,  and  that  the  outfits,  pay,  arms,  &c., 
which  were  to  be  theirs,  after  the  year  for  which  they  were 
enrolled  had  expired,  would  be  of  essential  service  to  them. 
It  was  like  paying  men  liberally  for  making  a  journey  for 
their  own  benefit. 

Notwithstanding  all  this,  Brigham  Young  and  the  leaders 
represented  the  transaction  in  quite  another  light,  and  the 
people  were  taught  that  an  engagement,  into  which  they  had 
entered  of  their  own  free  will,  and  from  which  they  had 
derived  substantial  advantages,  was  an  act  of  heartless  cruelty 
and  despotic  tyranny  on  the  part  of  the  Government.  This 
feeling  was  fostered,  until  at  length  the  Saints  as  a  body 
regarded  themselves  as  a  wronged  and  outraged  people,  and 
considered  every  Gentile — in  fact  the  whole  nation  as  their 
natural  enemies.     This  was  perhaps  all  the  more  singular, 


since,  after  the  vast  tract  of  country,  of  which  Utah  forms  a 
part,  had,  at  the  end  of  the  war,  been  wrested  from  Mexico, 
Brigham  Young  had  been  appointed  by  President  Millard 
Fillmore  the  first  Governor  and  Indian  Agent  of  the  terri- 
tory ;  he  was  therefore  in  Federal  pay,  and  bound,  as  long  as 
he  retained  office,  to  support  the  Government,  or  at  the  very 
least  not  to  stir  up  disaffection. 

Trouble  soon  arose  between  Governor  Young  and  the 
Mormons  on  one  side  and  the  Judges  and  United  States 
courts  and  officials  on  the  other.  Once  an  armed  mob  burst 
into  the  Supreme  Court,  and  forced  the  Judge  then  sitting  to 
adjourn  ;  at  another  time  a  bonfire  was  made  of  the  books  and 
papers  of  the  District  Courts  ;  then  a  Judge  on  the  bench 
was  threatened  with  personal  outrage  ;  and  subsequently  a 
posse  summoned  by  legal  (!)  process  "  encamped  "  for  a  whole 
fortnight  over  against  another  posse  summoned  without  legal 
process,  the  two  bodies  burning  with  bitter  hatred  and  breath- 
ing out  threatenings  and  slaughter.  Such  a  state  of  affairs 
could  not,  of  course,  last  long.  On  the  one  side  the  wildest 
statements  were  publicly  rr^ade  against  the  Government ; 
threats  which  uttered  by  a  little  band  of  pioneers  against  a 
mighty  nation  were  perfectly  ridiculous,  stirred  up  the  hearts 
of  the  Saints.  On  the  other  hand  it  was  pretty  certain  that 
Federal  troops  would  have  to  be  sent  out  to  Utah  to  preserve 
the  peace  of  the  Territory.  The  Federal  Government  was 
nevertheless  defied,  abused,  and  derided,  and  the  people, 
llioroughly  blinded  by  their  fanaticism,  did  not  for  a  moment 
doubt  that  should  Governor  Young  "declare  war"  the  United 
States  troops  would  vanish  before  the  "Armies"  ©f  the  Saints 
like  chaff  upon  the  threshing-floor.  So  absurd  does  all  this 
appear  that  I  should  really  hardly  venture  to  repeat  it  were  it 
not  that  every  one  in  Utah — Mormon  and  Gentile — knows 
that  I  am  really  understating  facts  rather  than  otherwise. 

Now  came  a  crisis  in  Mormon  history,  for  which  all  these 
wild  savings  and  unlawful  doings  had  been  so  long  paving  the 
way: — "  The  Reformation"  was  destined  to  be  the  crowning 
point  of  Saintly  folly  and  Saintly  sin. 



Days  of  Trouble  in  the  Valley — Shedding  Innocent  Blood — What  is  Murder  ? 
About  Killing  a  Cat — Better  than  Tlieir  Faith — Cutting  Throats  for  Love — 
The  Deeds  of  the  Apostle  "Jeddy" — The  Celebrated  Mule — The  Saints 
Accused — Missionaries  Called  Home — Their  Consciences  Accuse  Them! — 
The  Blood-Atonement — What  was  Said  in  the  Tabernacle — Terrible  Doctrines 
Taught — Brigham  a  "  God  "  ! — Fearful  Blasphemy  of  Brigham  Young — The 
Shedding  of  Blood — "  Righteously  M'urdered — The  Principles  of  Eternity — 
Deeds  of  Darkness — A  "Saint"  Murders  His  Wife — A  Terrible  Story — How 
Children  Were  Married — A  Petticoat  on  a  Fence-Pole — A  Scarcity  of  Un- 
married Girls — Obeying  "Counsel" — Propositions  of  Marriage — A  Trifling 
Mistake — Stubborn  Facts  and  Figures — The  Most  Fearful  Deed  of  All, 

THE  people  were  now  thoroughly  excited.  Their  religious 
antipathy,  their  political  hatred — two  of  the  most  power- 
ful passion.s  which  move  individuals  or  bodies  of  men — had 
been  appealed  to,  and  both  in  public  and  private  they  had 
been  stirred  up  to  a  pitch  of  frenzy  which  it  is  hardly  possible 
at  the  present  time  to  comprehend. 

There  were  whisperings  now  of  a  most  fearful  doctrine, 
calculated  not  only  to  strike  terror  into  the  hearts  of  those 
whose  faith  was  weakening,  but  even  to  shock  with  a  sense 
of  horror  those  who  only  heard  of  it  from  afar — I  mean  the 
doctrine  of  the  Blood  Atonement. 

The  Saints  had  all  along  been  taught  to  distinguish  between 
murder  and  the  shedding  of  innocent  blood — the  former  being 


spoken  of  as  a  crime  for  which  atonement  might  be  made, 
but  for  the  latter  there  was  no  repentance  on  earth— it  was 
an  unpardonable  sin.  They  were  also  taught  to  distinguish 
carefully  between  sins  which  might  be  forgiven,  and  sins  for 
which  pardon  was  impossible.  Now  the  difference  between 
murder  and  shedding  innocent  blood  is  this  :-the  latter  is  the 
crime  of  kilHng  a  Saint,  which  can  never  be  forgiven,  but  by 
the  death  of  the  transgressor  ;  but  the  former  is  of  quite  a 
different  character.  To  murder  a  Gentile  may  sometimes  be 
inexpedient,  or  perhaps  even  to  a  certain  extent  wrong,  but  it 
is  seldom,  if  ever,  a  crime,  and  never  an  unpardonable  sin. 

A  friend  of  mine  was  in  a  state  of  apostacy.  The  Bishop 
went  to  her  to  expostulate,  and  told  her  that  if  he  were  her 
husband  he  would  get  rid  of  her  and  take  away  her  children 
as  well— he  would  not  on  any  account  live  with  her. 

"  Perhaps,"  she  said,  "  you  would  not  allow  me  to  live  at 

all ' " 

"  Certainly  not,"  he  replied.  "  I  would  think  about  as  much 
of  killing  you  or  any  other  miserable  Apostate  as  I  would 
about  killing  a  cat.  If  Brigham  Young  were  to  tell  me  to  put 
you  to  death  I  would  do  it  with  the  greatest  of  pleasure  ;— 
and  it  would  be  for  your  good,  too." 

Thus,  when  the  famous  Revelation  on  Polygamy  says  that 
a  man  cannot  be  pardoned  for  shedding  innocent  blood,  it 
does  not  mean  that  he  cannot  be  pardoned  for  murdering  a 
Gentile  or  an  Apostate  ;  for  that,  under  some  circumstances, 
might  even  be  meritorious  ;  but  that  the  murder  of  a  Saint  by 
one  of  the  brethren  cannot  under  any  circumstances  be  for- 
given on  earth,  and  that  his  only  chance  of  forgiveness  lies 
Tn  his  own  blood  being  shed  as  an  "atonement." 

Certain  sins  cannot  be  forgiven  here  on  earth  — Shedding 
innocent  blood,  divulging  the  secrets  of  the  Endowment 
House  — marital  unfaithfulness  on  the  part  of  the  wife— 
Apostacy  ;  — these  are  unpardonable.  All  other  crimes  which 
Gentiles  abhor  may  become  even  virtues,  if  done  in  the  cause 
of  the  Church.  I  do  not,  of  course,  mean  to  say  that  the  mass 
of  the  Mormon  people  act  up  to  such  atrocious  doctrines;  for 


although,  when  among  themselves,  they  would  admit  that  the 
theory  was  correct,  the  better  instincts  of  their  nature  keep 
them  from  even  putting  that  theory  into  practice.  But  what 
I  do  mean  to  say  is,  that  such  doctrines  have,  over  and  over 
again,  been  distinctly  taught  in  the  plainest  words  in  the  public 
hearing  of  thousands  ;  that  they  have  been  printed  and  re- 
printed by  authority ;  that  they  Jiave  been  practiced,  and  the 
very  highest  of  the  Mormon  leaders  have  applauded  ;  and  that, 
even  at  the  present  moment,  these  doctrines  form  part  of  the 
dogmas  of  the  Church.  It  is  this  day  a  matter  of  fact,  and 
not  a  matter  of  question,  that  if  any  Mormon  Apostate  were 
to  commit  any  of  the  unpardonable  sins  which  I  have  men- 
tioned, and  if  he  or  she  were  to  be  assassinated  by  a  private 
individual,  all  zealous  Mormons — all  the  leaders — would 
maintain  that  not  only  was  the  deed  justifiable  but  even 
meritorious ! 

This  may  seem  bad  enough,  but  it  is  not  the  worst.  The 
doctrine  of  the  "  Blood  Atonement  "  is  that  the  murder  of 
an  Apostate  is  a  deed  of  love  !  If  a  Saint  sees  another  leave 
the  Church,  or  if  even  he  only  believes  that  his  brother's  faith 
is  weakening  and  that  he  will  apostatise  before  long,  he  knows 
that  the  soul  of  his  unbelieving  brother  will  be  lost  if  he  dies 
in  such  a  state,  and  that  only  by  his  blood  being  shed  is  there 
any  chance  of  forgiveness  for  him ;  it  is  therefore  the  kindest 
action  that  he  can  perform  toward  him  to  shed  his  blood  —  the 
doing  so  is  a  deed  of  truest  love.  The  nearer,  the  dearer,  the 
more  tenderly  loved  the  sinner  is,  the  greater  the  affection 
shown  by  the  shedder  of  blood — the  action  is  no  longer  mur- 
der or  the  shedding  of  innocent  blood,  for  the  taint  of  apostacy 
takes  away  its  innocence — it  is  making  atonement,  not  a 
crime ;  it  is  an  act  of  mercy,  therefore  meritorious. 

These  were  the  terrible  teachings  which  the  "Reformation" 
brought  to  light: — they  had  been  whispered  before  among  the 
elect,  and  had  been  acted  upon  by  the  "Avenging  Angels," 
but  before  this  they  had  never  been  publicly  and  intelligibly 

As  I  before  said,  the  Saints  harl  bcieu  excited  to  a  condition 

THE    REIGN    OF    TERROR   IN    UTAH.  313 

of  frenzy  and  were  ready  to  engage  in  any  fanatical  folly,  but 
the  way  in  which  the  spark  was  applied  to  the  powder  was  as 
ridiculous  as  its  results  were  terrible. 

Jedediah  M.  Grant,  an  enthusiast  of  the  wildest  kind ;  a  man 
without  education  or  mental  discipline  of  any  description ;  one 
of  the  First  Presidency  and  high  in  authority  among  the 
Saints,  had  occasion  to  attend  a  meeting  which  was  held  at 
Kaysville,  a  place  about  twenty-five  miles  distant  from  Salt 
Lake  City,  and  he  invited  some  of  the  Elders  to  meet  him 
there  to  take  part  in  the  proceedings.  To  one  of  these, 
"Jeddy"  as  he  was  familiarly  called,  obligingly  lent  a  mule; 
he  himself  did  not  accompany  the  party  but  went  on  before. 
These  Elders  were  pretty  well  mounted  and  one  of  them  being 
a  good  horseman  made  the  rest  keep  up  with  him.  In  conse- 
quence of  this  when  they  arrived  at  Kaysville  the  beasts  were 
heated  and  tired.  The  Apostle  "  Jeddy"  watched  them  but 
said  nothing. 

Up  to  a  certain  point,  the  meeting  passed  off  pleasantly 
enough — the  Elders  present  were  "good  at  testimony"  and 
strong  in  exhorting  their  hearers  to  faithfulness.  Jeddy  was 
the  last  speaker.  He  began  in  his  usual  way,  but  presently 
warmed  up  until  he  became  quite  excited  and  then  proceeded 
to  accuse  every  one  present  of  all  sorts  of  wrong-doing.  The 
Elders  who  had  preceded  him  came  in  for  their  full  share ;  he. 
denounced  them  for  their  inconsistency  and  hypocrisy,  and 
bitterly  upbraided  them  for  running  his  mule  and  their  own 
beasts  in  such  a  manner.  The  Bishop  of  the  place  and  his 
counsellors  he  accused  of  inactivity  and  carelessness ;  and  he 
called  loudly  upon  every  one  present  to  repent  and  do  their 
first  works;  threatening  them  with  the  speedy  judgments  of 
1  leaven. 

All  this  was  well  enough  if  it  had  stopped  there,  for  it  might 
have  been  taken  for  just  what  it  was  —  an  ebulition  of  temper 
on  the  part  of  "Jeddy"  who  was  naturally  vexed  that  his  mule 
had  been  over-heated.  But  like  many  other  manias  and  epi- 
demics, this  Mormon  movement  began  with  a  most  insignifi- 
cant trifle,  and  the  spirit  of  fiery  denunciation  became  jDcrfectly 

314     THE  "reformation"  : EXCITEMENT  AMONG  THE  SAINTS. 

contagious.  Another  meeting  was  held  in  the  course  of  a  few 
weeks,  and  then  the  mutual  accusations  of  those  who  were 
present  became,  if  possible,  more  bitter  than  before;  the 
"Saints"  were  denounced  as  the  vilest  of  sinners  and  they 
were  all  commanded  to  be  re-baptized.  Accordingly,  after  the 
meeting,  although  it  was  night  and  the  weather  was  cold,  a 
considerable  number  were  immersed  by  the  Elders,  and  Jeddy 
himself  was  so  enthusiastically  engaged  in  the  performance 
that  he  remained  in  the  water  so  long  that  he  got  a  thorough 
chill  and  contracted  the  disease  of  which  he  died. 

Sunday  after  Sunday  similar  scenes  were  repeated  in  the 
Tabernacle,  until,  had  it  not  been  painful,  the  whole  affair 
would  have  been  ludicrous  in  the  extreme.  Every  one  had 
strayed  from  the  path  of  duty,  and  the  fact  was  announced  in 
the  strongest  terms.  People  were  called  upon  by  name  to 
publicly  confess  their  sins,  and  many  were  then  and  there 
pointed  out  and  accused  of  crimes  of  which  they  were  entirely 
guiltless  but  which  they  dared  not  deny.  In  the  midst  of  all 
this,  the  duty  of  implicit  obedience  to  the  Priesthood  and  the 
payment  of  tithes  was  loudly  insisted  upon. 

Then  Missionaries  were  sent  out  all  over  the  territory  armed 
with  the  full  authority  of  the  Priesthood  and  also  a  catechism 
which,  on  account  of  its  obscene  character,  has  since  been 
bought  up  so  successfully  by  Brigham  that  it  is  doubtful  if 
there  is  a  copy  in  existence.  The  Mormons  have  a  curious 
way  of  appointing  Missionaries.  If  a  man  is  weak  in  the 
faith,  a  depraved  bad  man,  or  even  a  youth  with  wild  tenden- 
cies and  inclined  to  sow  his  wild  oats  a  little  too  luxuriantly, 
he  is  sent  on  his  travels  to  preach  the  Gospel:  —  nothing 
strengthens  a  man's  faith,  it  is  thought,  more  than  having  to 
defend  it  from  the  opposition  of  unbelievers,  and  the  enforced 
good  example  which  the  Missionary  is  obliged  to  set  will,  it  is 
said,  produce  a  salutary  effect  upon  the  exuberance  of  youth 
or  the  depravity  of  more  mature  years.  In  the  present  instance 
many  of  the  Missionaries  thus  sent  forth  were  known  to  be 
as  immoral  as  they  were  grossly  ignorant. 

There  was  one  terrible  meeting  at  which  Brigham  himself 



was  put  to  the  blush.  Men  of  note  were  there — no  one  was 
present  who  did  not  belong  to  the  Priesthood.  "Jeddy"  held 
forth,  and  Heber  and  Brigham  were  strong  upon  the  occasion. 
In  the  midst  of  the  proceedings,  Brother  Brigham,  full  of  con- 
fidence, in  the  plainest  words  called  upon  all  who  could  not 
plead  guiltless  of  certain  crimes  to  stand  up.  Three-fourths 
of  those  present  immediately  arose.  Utterly  shocked,  the 
Prophet  entered  into  explanations;  but  self-convicted  these 
three-fourths  of  his  hearers  stood  conscientiously  firm.  Even 
Brigham  saw  the  necessity  of  taking  some  stringent  measures. 
The  Saints  were  told  that  if  they  were  re-baptized  their  sins 
would  be  washed  away  and  they  could  then  say  they  were  not 
guilty  of  the  crimes  suggested  in  the  catechism.  Subsequently 
the  catechism  itself  was,  as  I  said,  bought  up  and  burnt. 

The  burden  of  every  sermon  was  unquestioning  obedience, 
repentance,  payment  of  tithing,  and  above  all  the  taking  of 
more  wives.  The  Missionaries,  without  the  slightest  ceremony, 
would  visit  the  houses  of  respectable  Saints,  examine  them 
out  of  the  abominable  catechism,  and  question  husbands  and 
wives  in  the  presence  of  their  children  about  even  their  very 
thoughts,  in  a  manner,  and  upon  subjects,  which  would  amply 
have  justified  their  being  hung  up  to  the  nearest  tree — Lynch 
law  was  in  fact  too  good  for  such  atrocities.  Wicked  ideas,  the 
utterance  of  which  would  have  called  forth  a  blush  even  if 
heard  from  the  lips  of  a  drunken  rowdy  in  a  pot-house,  were 
suggested  and  explained  to  young  children  ;  while  it  would 
have  been  literally  at  the  risk  of  life  for  their  parents  to  have 
expostulated: — to  do  so  would  have  shown  want  of  faith,  and 
want  of  faith  would  have  justified  some  fanatical  scoundrel  in 
using  his  knife  or  his  pistol  for  the  loving  purpose  of  cut- 
ting off  his  brother's  soul  from  earth  in  order  to  save  it  in 
heaven  ! 

Meanwhile,  Jedcdiah  did  not  for  a  moment  cease  his  exhor- 
tations, the  work  must  be  done  thoroughly:  the  Blood-Atone- 
ment must  not  be  forgotten.  On  one  occasion,  in  the 
Tabernacle,  this  crazy  fanatic  said: — 

"I  would  advise  some  of  you  men  here  to  go  to  President  Young,  and  confess 


your  sins,  and  ask  him  to  take  you  outside  the  city  and  have  your  blood  shed  to 
atone  for  your  sins." 

"There  are  men  and  women  that  I  would  advise  to  go  to  the  President  imme- 
diately, and  ask  him  to  appoint  a  committee  to  attend  to  their  case ;  and  then  let 
a  place  be  selected,  and  let  that  committee  shed  their  blood 

"I  would  ask  how  many  covenant-breakers  there  are  in  this  city  and  in  this 
kingdom?  I  believe  that  there  are  a  great  many;  and  if  they  are  covenant- 
breakers,  we  need  a  place  designated  where  we  can  shed  their  blood," 

"We  have  been  trying  long  enough  with  this  people,  and  I  go  in  for  letting 
the  sword  of  the  Almighty  be  unsheathed,  not  only  in  word  but  i)t  deed." 

Lest  he  should  be  mistaken  he  said : 

"  What  ought  this  meek  people  who  keep  the  commandments  of  God  do  unto 

them  ?     '  Why,'  savs  one,  'they  ought  to  pray  t/ie  Lord  to  kill  them.'     I  want  to 

know  if  you  would  wish  the  Lord  to  come  down  and  do  all  your  dirty  work? 

When  a  man  prays  for  a  thing,  he  ought  to  be  willing  to  perform 

it  himself Putting  to  death  the  transgressors  would  exhibit  the 

law  of  God,  110  matter  by  luhom  it  ivas  done." 

Heber  C.  Kimball,  the  "  model  Saint,"  after  a  speech  to  the 
same  effect,  in  which,  as  usual,  he  made  use  of  the  most  dis- 
gusting language,  added : 

"Joseph  Smith  was  God  to  the  inhabitants  of  the  earth  when  he  was  among 
us,  and  Brigham  is  God  now  ! " 

But  more  shocking  than  any  other  was  the  language  of 
Brigham  Young  himself.  On  the  21st  of  September,  1856,  in 
a  discourse  delivered  in  the  Bowery,  Great  Salt  Lake  City,  and 
afterwards  re-printed  by  authority  in  the  Journals  of  Dis- 
courses, Vol.  IV.,  pp.  53-4,  he  said  : 

"The  time  is  coming  when  justice  will  be  laid  to  the  line  and  righteousness  to 
the  plummet;  when  we  shall  take  the  old  broadsword,  and  ask,  'Are  you  for 
God  ?'  and  if  you  are  not  heartily  on  the  Lord's  side,  you  ivill  be  hewn  dozvn  .'" 

"  There  are  sins  that  men  commit  for  which  they  cannot  receive  forgiveness  in 
this  world  or  in  that  which  is  to  come  ;  and  if  they  had  their  eyes  opened  to  see 
their  true  condition,  they  would  be  perfectly  willing  to  have  their  blood  spilt  upon 
the  ground,  that  the  smoke  thereof  might  -.scend  to  Heaven  as  an  offering  for 
ther  sins,  and  the  smoking  incense  would  atone  for  their  sins  ;  whereas,  if  oUch 
13  not  the  case,  they  will  stick  to  them  and  remain  with  them  in  the  sjiirit  world. 

"  I  know,  when  you  hear  my  brethren  telling  about  cutting  people  off  from  the 
earth,  that  you  consider  it  is  strong  doctrine ;  but  it  is  to  save  them,  not  tc 
destroy  them 

"  1  do  know  that  there  are  sins  committed  of  such  a  nature  that,  if  the  people 


did  understand  the  doctrine  of  salvation,  they  would  tremble  because  of  their 
situation.  And,  furthermore,  I  know  that  there  are  transgressors  who,  if  they 
knew  themselves,  and  the  only  condition  upon  which  they  can  obtain  forgiveness, 
would  be<T  of  their  brethren  to  shed  their  blood,  that  the  smoke  thereof  might 
ascend  to  God  as  an  offering  to  appease  the  wrath  that  is  kindled  against  them, 
and  thit  the  l;:w  might  have  its  course.  I  will  say,  further,  I  have  had  men  come 
to  me  and  offer  their  lives  to  atone  for  their  sins, 

"  It  is  true  that  the  blood  of  the  Son  of  God  was  shed  for  sins  through  the  fall 
and  those  committed  by  men,  yet  men  can  commit  sins  which  it  can  never  remit. 
As  't  in  ancient  days,  so  it  is  in  our  day  ;  and  though  the  principles  are 
taught  publicly  from  this  stand,  still  the  people  do  not  understand  them  ;  yet  the 
law  is  precisely  the  same.  There  are  sins  that  can  be  atoned  for  by  an  offering 
upon  an  altai,  as  in  ancient  days  ;  and  there  are  sins  that  the  blood  of  a  lamb, 
of  a  calf,  or  of  turtle  doves  cannot  remit,  but  they  tniist  be  atoned  for  by  the  blood 
of  the  fnany 

One  would  have  supposed  that  even  Erigham  had  now 
reached  the  culminating  point  of  horror  and  blasphemy.  But 
no  ; — a  month  or  so  later  he  even  surpassed  himself  when  in  a 
Tabernacle  sermon  he  said  : 

"  When  will  we  love  our  neighbors  as  ourselves .'  In  the  first  place,  Jesus 
said  that  no  man  hateth  his  own  flesh.  It  is  admitted  by  all  that  every  person 
loves  himself.  Now  if  we  do  rightly  love  ourselves  we  want  to  be  saved,  and 
continue  to  exist,  we  want  to  go  into  the  kingdom  where  we  can  enjoy  eternity, 
and  see  no  more  sorrow  nor  death.  This  is  the  desire  of  every  person  who 
believes  in  God.  Now  take  a  person  in  this  congregation  who  has  knowledge 
with  regard  to  being  saved  in  the  kingdom  of  our  God  and  our  Father,  and  being 
exalted,  one  who  knows  and  understands  the  principles  of  etern;il  life,  and  sees 
the  beauties  and  excellency  of  the  eternities  before  him  compared  with  the  vain 
and  foolish  things  of  the  world,  and  suppose  that  he  is  overtaken  in  a  gross  fault, 
that  he  has  committed  a  sin  that  he  knows  will  deprive  him  of  that  exaltation 
which  he  desires,  and  that  he  cannot  attain  to  it  without  the  shedding  of  his 
blood,  and  also  knows  that  by  having  his  blood  shed  he  will  atone  for  that  sin 
and  be  saved  and  exalted  with  the  gods,  is  there  a  man  or  a  woman  in  this  house 
but  would  say,  'Shed  my  blood  that  I  might  be  saved  and  exalted  with  the 
gods  ? ' 

"All  mankind  love  themselves  :  and  let  those  principles  but  l^c  known  by  an 
individual,  and  he  would  be  glad  to  have  his  blood  shed.  This  would  be  loving 
ourselves  even  unto  an  eternal  exaltation.  Will  you  love  your  brothers  or  sisters 
likewise  when  they  have  a  sin  that  cannot  be  atoned  for  without  the  shedding  of 
their  blood  .'  Will  you  love  that  man  or  woman  well  enough  to  shed  their  blood  ? 
That  is  -iohat  jfesus  Christ  meant.  He  never  told  a  man  or  woman  to  love  their 
enemies  in  their  wickedness,  never.  He  never  meant  any  such  thing  ;  His  lan- 
guage is  left  as  it  is  for  those  to  read  who  have  the  spirit  to  discern  between 
truth  and  error  ;  it  was  so  left  for  those  who  can  discern  the  things  of  God. 
Jesus  Christ  never  meant  that  we  should  love  a  wicked  man  in  his  wickedness. 

^^  I  could  refer  yon  to  plenty  of  instances  where  nioi  have  been  righteously  slain  in 

3i8  "out  of  love  he  cut  her  throat!" 

order  to  atone  for  their  sins.  I  have  seen  scores  and  hundreds  of  people  for  whom 
there  would  have  been  a  chance  (in  the  last  resurrection  there  will  be)  if  their 
lives  had  been  taken  and  their  blood  spilled  on  the  ground  as  a  smoking  incense 
to  the  Almighty,  but  who  are  now  angels  to  the  devil,  until  our  elder  brother, 
Jesus  Christ,  raises  them  up  and  conquers  death,  hell,  and  the  grave. 

"I  have  known  a  great  many  men  who  have  left  this  Church,  for  whom  there 
is  no  chance  whatever  for  exaltation,  but  if  their  blood  had  been  spilled  it  would 
have  been  better  for  them. 

"The  wickedness  and  ignorance  of  the  nations  forbid  this  principle  being  in 
full  force,  but  the  time  will  come  when  the  law  of  God  will  be  in  full  force.  This 
is  loving  our  neighbor  as  ourselves;  if  he  needs  help, //^// /^//«  ;  if  he  wants 
salvation,  and  it  is  necessary  to  spill  his  blood  on  the  earth  in  order  that  he  may 
be  saved,  spill  it. 

"  Any  of  you  who  understand  the  principles  of  eternity,  if  you  have  sinned  r* 
sin  requiring  the  shedding  of  blood,  except  the  sin  unto  death,  should  not  be 
satisfied  or  rest  until  your  blood  should  be  spilled,  that  you  might  gain  that 
salvation  you  desire.  That  is  the  way  to  love  mankind.  ,  ,  .  Light  and 
darkness  cannot  dwell  together,  and  so  it  is  with  the  kingdom  of  God. 

"  Now,  brethren  and  sisters,  will  you  live  your  religion  ?  How  many  hundreds 
of  times  have  I  asked  that  question?  Will  the  Latter-Day  Saints  live  their 
religion .'"' 

And  SO,  according  to  Brigham  Young,  their  Prophet,  this 
was  the  rehgion  of  the  Saints  !  And  the  people  acted  up  to 
the  "  rehgion  "  thus  taught :  and  the  story  is  so  terrible  that 
one  dare  not  even  whisper  all  its  details. 

It  is  no  secret  that  all  this  was  understood  literally.  The  wife 
of  one  Elder,  when  he  was  absent  on  a  mission,  acted  unfaith- 
fully towards  him.  Her  husband  took  counsel  of  the  authori- 
ties, and  was  reminded  that  the  shedding  of  her  blood  alone 
could  save  her.  He  returned  and  told  her,  but  she  asked  for 
time,  which  was  readily  granted.  One  day,  in  a  moment  of 
affection,  when  she  was  seated  on  his  knee,  he  reminded  her 
of  her  doom,  and  suggested  that  now  when  their  hearts  were 
full  of  love  was  a  suitable  time  for  carrying  it  into  execution. 
She  acquiesced,  and  out  of  love  he  cut  her  throat  from  ear  to  ear. 

In  many  instances  the  outrages  committed  against  persons 
who  were  known  to  be  innocent  were  so  revolting  that  no 
woman — nay,  even  no  right-minded  man — would  venture  to 
more  than  just  allude  to  them.  A  feiu  however,  and  only  a 
few,  and  they  by  no  means  the  worst,  of  the  milder  cases,  I 
will  just  mention. 


There  was  the  murder  of  the  Aikin  party — six  persons — 
who  were  killed  on  their  way  to  California.  The  same  year  a 
man  named  Yates  was  killed  under  atrocious  circumstances  ; 
and  Franklin  McNeil  who  had  sued  Brigham  for  false  impris- 
onment and  who  was  killed  at  his  hotel  door.  There  was 
Sergeant  Pike,  and  there  was  Arnold  and  Drown.  There 
was  Price  and  William  Bryan  at  Fairfield  ;  there  was  Almon 
Babbitt,  and  Brassfield,  and  Dr.  Robinson;  there  was  also 
James  Cowdy  and  his  wife  and  child,  and  Margctts  and  his 
wife  ;  and  many  another,  too, — to  say  nothing  of  that  frightful 
murder  at  the  Mountain  Meadows. 

Besides  these  there  is  good  reason  to  think  that  Lieutenant 
Gunnison  and  his  party  were  also  victims,  although  it  was 
said  that  they  were  shot  by  "  Indians."  The  Potter  and  Parrish 
murders  were  notorious  ;  Forbes,  and  Jones  and  his  mother, 
might  be  added  to  the  same  list ;  the  dumb  boy,  Andrew 
Bernard  ;  a  woman  killed  by  her  own  husband  ;  Morris  the 
rival  Prophet,  and  Banks,  and  four  women  who  belonged  to 
their  party  ;  Isaac  Potter,  and  Charles  Wilson,  and  John 
Walker.  These  are  but  a  few.  The  death  list  is  too  long  for 
me  to  venture  to  give  it. 

One  instance  I  can  give  from  my  own  personal  knowledge. 
A  sister  who  occasionally  does  a  little  work  at  my  house  on 
one  occasion  said  to  me :  "  Mrs.  Stenhouse,  when  first  I  came 
to  this  country  I  lived  in  the  southern  portion  of  Utah.  One 
day  I  saw  a  woman  running  across  the  fields  towards  our 
house,  pale  and  trembling.  When  she  came  in  she  looked 
round  her  as  if  she  were  frightened,  and  she  asked  if  any  one 
besides  our  own  family  were  present.  On  being  assured  that 
there  was  no  one  present  whom  she  might  fear,  she  said  : — 
'  Two  men  came  to  our  house  late  last  night  and  asked  to  see 
my  husband,  who  had  already  retired.  He  was  in  bed,  but 
they  insisted  that  he  must  get  up  as  they  had  a  message  from 
"the  authorities"  for  him.  When  they  saw  him  they  re- 
quested him  to  go  with  them  to  attend,  they  said,  to  some 
Church  business.  I  became  very  much  alarmed,  for  my  poor 
husband  had  been  known  to  speak  rather  freely  of  late  of 


some  of  the  measures  of  the  Church,  but  he  tried  to  reassure 
me  and  finally  left  the  house  with  the  two  men.  In  about 
an  hour  after  they  came  back  bearing  between  them  his 
lifeless  body.  They  laid  him  upon  the  bed,  and  then  one  of 
them  pulled  aside  the  curtain  which  constituted  our  only 
cupboard,  and  took  therefrom  a  bake-kettle  and  stood  it  beside 
the  bed,  in  order  to  catch  the  blood  that  was  flowing  from  a 
fearful  wound  in  his  throat.  They  then  left  the  house  telling 
me  to  make  as  little  noise  about  it  as  possible  or  they  might 
serve  me  in  the  same  way.  The  men  were  masked,  and  I 
cannot  tell  who  they  are,  but  I  spent  a  fearful  night  with  my 
poor  dead  husband.'  "  This  sister  added:  "  Sister  Stenhouse, 
in  those  more  fearful  times  we  dared  not  speak  to  each  other 
about  such  things  for  fear  of  spies." 

These  were  all  well-known  and  notorious  instances.  I  say 
nothing  of  those  of  whose  fate  nothing — not  even  a  whisper 
— was  ever  heard  ;  and  I  say  nothing  of  the  frightful  "  cut- 
tings off"  before  the  Reformation  and  in  recent  years. 

Gentile  men  and  women  were  killed,  for  hatred  ;  and  that 
"  killing "  was  no  murder,  for  theirs  was  not  innocent  blood. 
Apostates,  and  Saints  of  doubtful  faith,  and  those  who  were 
obnoxious,  Jiad  their  blood  shed — all  for  love — and  that  "  cut- 
ting off"  was  also  no  murder,  because  to  secure  their  salvation 
by  cutting  their  throats  was  an  act  of  mercy.  Can  it  be  pos- 
sible that  men  should  thus  act  and  say — and  believe — that 
Jesus,  the  gentle  and  merciful  Saviour,  commanded  it  when 
He  said  :  "Thou  shalt  love  thy  neighbor  as  thyself  ">.  " 

All  through  this  Reign  of  Terror,  marrying  and  giving  in 
marriage  was  the  order  of  the  day.  It  mattered  not  if  a  man 
was  seventy  years  of  age,  according  to  Brother  Brigham  he 
was  still  a  boy — "the  brethren  are  all  boys  until  they  are 
a  hundred  years  old" — and  some  young  girl  of  sixteen,  fifteen, 
or  even  younger  would  be  "counselled" — that  is,  commanded 
— to  marry  him.  She  might  even  have  a  sister  no  older  than 
herself,  and  then  as  likely  as  not  he  would  take  the  two  to 
wife,  and  very  probably  both  on  the  same  day.  The  girls 
were  told  that  to  marry  a  young  man  was  not  a  safe  thing,  for 

AT    WHAT    AGE    GIRLS    SHOULD    MARRY.  32 1 

young  men  were  not  tried — it  was  better  to  marry  a  well- 
tested  patriarch  and  then  their  chances  of  "  exaltation "  in 
the  kingdom  of  heaven  were  sure  and  certain.  In  this  way 
the  life-long  happiness  of  many  a  girl — little  more  than  a 
child — was  blighted  for  ever.  At  the  time  of  which  I  speak, 
every  unmarried  woman,  or  girl  who  could  by  the  utmost 
stretch  of  possibility  be  thought  old  enough  to  marry,  was 
forced  to  find  a  husband,  or  a  husband  was  immediately  found 
for  her,  and  without  any  regard  to  her  wishes  was  forced  upon 
her.  Young  men,  and  even  boys,  were  forced,  not  only  into 
marriage,  but  even  Polygamy,  and  none  dared  resist.  The 
marrying  mania,  in  fact,  was  universal  and  irresistible — every 
one  must  marry  or  be  given  in  marriage.  So  evidently  was 
this  the  case  that  women  in  jest  said  that,  if  one  were  to  hang 
a  petticoat  upon  a  fence-pole,  half  a  dozen  men  would  flock  at 
once  to  marry  it!  Absurd  as  this  may  seem  it  was  not  very 
far  from  the  truth.  Young  men  and  maidens,  old  men 
and  children,  widows,  virgins,  and  youths — in  fact  every  one 
whether  married  or  unmarried,  it  mattered  not,  was  "  coun- 
selled " — commanded — to  marry. 

There  is  above  fanaticism  a  stronger  law  which,  despite 
every  effort  of  the  deluded  victim,  will  occasionally  make  itself 
heard — the  voice  of  Nature.  Even  during  that  strange  time 
in  which  every  Saint  seemed  to  have  gone  stark  crazy  mad, 
the  frightful  anomaly  of  men  of  fifty,  sixty,  and  even  seventy 
marrying  mere  children — girls  of  fourteen,  and  even  thirteen, 
— forced  itself  upon  the  attention  of  some  of  the  leaders. 
The  question  arose — an  odd  question  to  Gentile  ears — "  At 
what  age  is  a  girl  old  enough  to  marry  }  "  Considerable  dis- 
cussion ensued,  and  even  in  the  Tabernacle  the  subject  was 
taken  up.  The  voice  of  authority,  however,  eventually 
answered  the  matter,  but  not  in  the  way  that  any  ordinary 
civilised  person  would  expect. 

In  those  times,  unmarried  girls  were  very  scarce — in   the 

settlements  it  was  difficult  to  find  any  at  all.    Not  infrequently 

it  happened  that  a  brother  was   "counselled"   to  marry,  but 

could  not  obey,  as  there  was  no  unmarried  woman  in  the  place 



where  he  lived.  In  that  case  he  generally  paid  a  visit  to 
Salt  Lake  City.  But  business  at  the  ^2ndowment  House 
nevertheless  was  pretty  lively  ;  in  fact  so  much  so  that  it  was 
deemed  necessary  to  set  apart  certain  days  for  the  various 
Settlements.  Once,  when  the  "Provo  day  "  was  fast  approach- 
inof,  two  old  brethren  from  that  town  who  had  been  counselled 
to  enlarge  their  families,  but  who  had  been  unsuccessful  in 
finding  partners,  began  to  despair  of  being  able  to  obey  "  the 
word  of  the  Lord  !  "  The  day  before  that  appointed  for  the 
Endowments  and  Celestial  Marriage  arrived,  and  they  were  as 
far  from  success  as  ever.  Being  neighbors,  the  two  old 
gentlemen  met  and  mingled  their  griefs,  and  considered  what 
might  be  done.  It  then  occurred  to  them  that  there  was  a 
certain  brother  who  had  two  daughters,  respectively  tzvelve 
2indf 0711  teen  years  of  age,  and  they  resolved  to  call  upon  him 
about  these  children.  As  might  be  supposed,  the  father  at 
first  refused  them,  giving  as  a  reason  that  the  girls  were  too 
young.  The  old  men  explained  that  if  they  could  not  marry 
the  children  it  was  impossible  for  them  to  "  obey  counsel," 
and  the  father  then  agreed.  The  next  morning  the  marriage 
ceremony  was  performed  in  the  Endowment  House.  One  of 
these  wretches  was  sixty  years  of  age,  and  the  other  a  few 
years  younger.  The  father  of  the  children  was  about  forty. 
I  am  really  afraid  that  the  reader  will  think  that  I  exaggerate 
or  misrepresent  facts.  I  wish  it  were  so,  for  the  case  is  so 
outrageously  atrocious  ;  but  I  am  sorry  to  say  that  scores 
and  hundreds  of  instances  similar  to  this,  which  occurred 
during  the  Reformation,  might  be  given. 

Not  long  before  this  infamous  transaction,  one  of  these  men 
looking  round  in  search  of  a  wife,  learned  that  a  young  Eng- 
lish girl  was  stopping  at  the  house  of  a  certain  brother  in  the 
neighborhood.  He  immediately  visited  that  brother,  and  said 
he  should  like  to  be  made  acquainted  with  the  girl.  It  hap- 
pened that  the  young  sister  in  question  had  recently  been 
married,  but  of  that  the  ancient  brother  was  of  course  ig- 
norant, and  his  friend  at  whose  house  the  lady  was  stoj^ping, 
being  fond  of  a  little  practical  joke  at   times,  did  not  inform 

A  lover's  disappointment.  323 

him  of  the  fact.  The  would-be  lover  in  a  business-like  way  at 
once  began  with  his  wooing ;.  spoke  to  the  young  lady  about  the 
Revelation  ;  of  the  "  counsel "  he  had  received  ;  of  his  desire 
to  obey  ;  and  finally  offered  her  his  hand  and  heart — at  least  as 
much  of  the  latter  as  remained.  He  expatiated  upon  his 
prospects  and  possessions  : — he  had  a  small  house  and  a  large 
lot,  a  good  farm,  a  few  cows,  a  yoke  of  oxen,  and  a  wagon, 
— another  wife  was  a  trifle  which  he  felt  himself  well  able  to 
keep.  The  sister  listened  in  silence  and  seemed  a  little  bash- 
ful. At  last  she  said  that  about  such  a  serious  matter  she 
must  have  a  little  time  for  consideration,  and  asked  for  a 
week's  thinking-time. 

Delighted  with  his  success  the  gentleman  withdrew  ;  but 
before  the  end  of  the  week  he  found  out  that  the  lady  was 
married,  he  saw  her  husband,  he  saw  the  friend  at  whose 
house  the  lady  was  stopping ;  and  over  the  matter  he  made  a 
considerable  fuss. 

There  are  before  me  as  I  write,  letters,  papers,  documents 
of  various  sorts  relative  to  marriage  and  the  matrimonial 
affairs  of  the  Saints,  at  the  time  of  which  I  speak,  that  I  wish 
the  reader  could  peep  at.  I  would  not  like  him  to  read  them 
— in  fact,  I  dared  not  read  them  all  myself,  for  some  of  them 
are  so  shameful  that  the  mere  knowledge  of  having  read  them 
through  would  make  any  right-minded  person  blush.  Taking 
more  wives  was  the  order  of  the  day — Jioiv,  was  of  little 

The  work  of  "  Reformation "  was  in  full  progress  ;  the 
people  were  excited  to  frenzy  ;  the  Federal  troops  were  ex- 
pected ;  men  were  marrying  and  maidens  were  given  in  mar- 
riage ;  every  one  in  Utah  was  looking  forward  to  the  time 
when  the  prophecies  of  Joseph,  the  Seer,  should  be  fulfilled, 
and  the  Son  of  Man  should  come  : — and  then,  when  one  would 
have  supposed  that  every  man  would  have  wished  that  his 
hands  should  be  pure,  was  perpetrated  a  deed  which  is  unpar- 
alleled in  modern  civilised  times — a  deed  at  which  angels  and 
men  have  stood  aghast  with  horror. 



The  Train  from  Arkansas — The  Story  of  a  Friend — How  an  Apostle  Merited 
Death  —  Mormon  Hospitality? — How  Justice  Slumbered — That  Sinner, 
McLean — Weary  and  Footsore — What  the  Governor  of  the  Territory  Did 
not  Do — The  Story  of  a  Frightful  Sin — A  Weary  Journey — "  Without  a 
Morsel  of  Bread  " — Christian-like  Indians — Empty  Wagons — Military  Murder- 
ers— Corn,  but  no  Mercy — A  Regular  Military  Call — Pursuing  the  Pilgrims— 
The  Muster-Call— The  Litde  Children  Not  to  be  Killed— The  Infamous  John 
D.  Lee — The  Flag  of  Truce — "  The  State  of  Deseret  " — A  Deed  of  Fearful 
Treachery — Surrounded  by  "Indians  !" — The  Emigrants  Besieged — Dying  for 
Want  of  Water — Without  Bread — The  Mountain  Meadows — Atrocious  Mor- 
mon Villainy — The  White  Flag — The  "  Indians  "  Again — The  Mormon  Story 
of  the  Massacre — Treachery — The  "  White"  Indians — Mormon  Perfidity — 
How  the  Emigrants  Were  Betrayed — Marching  to  Death — A  Few  Children 
Saved — The  Spoil — The  Murder  of  Many  Men — The  End  of  a  Terrible  Story. 

1FEEL  myself  utterly  inadequate  to  tell  the  story  of  the 
Mountain  Meadows'  Massacre — it  is  so  shocking,  so  fiend- 
like.    And  yet  it  must  be  told. 

While  the  work  of  "  Reformation  "  was  going  on,  and  when 
the  United  States  troops  were  constantly  expected  in  the 
Valley  of  the  Great  Salt  Lake,  a  large  train  of  emigrants  passed 
through  Utah  on  its  way  to  California.  The  train  consisted 
of  one  hundred  and  twenty  or  one  hundred  and  thirty  persons, 
and  they  came  chiefly  from  Arkansas.  They  were  people 
from  the  country  districts,  sober,  hard-working,  plain  folks,  but 
well-to-do  and,  taken  all  in  all,  about  as  respectable  a  band  of 
emigrants  as  ever  passed  through  Salt  Lake  City. 


Nothing  worthy  of  any  particular  note  occurred  to  them 
until  they  reached  the  Valley — that  was  the  point  from  which 
they  started  towards  death. 

My  old  friend  Eli  B.  Kelsey  travelled  with  them  from  Fort 
Bridger  to  Salt  Lake  City,  and  he  spoke  of  them  in  the  highest 
terms.  If  I  remember  rightly  he  said  that  the  train  was 
divided  into  two  parts — the  first  a  rough-and-ready  set  of  men 
— regular  frontier  pioneers  ;  the  other  a  picked  community,  the 
members  of  which  were  all  more  or  less  connected  by  family  ties. 
They  travelled  along  in  the  most  orderly  fashion,  without  hurry 
or  confusion.  On  Sunday  they  rested,  and  one  of  their  number 
who  had  been  a  Methodist  preacher  conducted  divine  service. 
All  went  well  until  they  reached  Salt  Lake  City,  where  they 
expected  to  be  able  to  refit  and  replenish  their  stock  of  provi- 
sions ;  but  it  was  there  that  they  first  discovered  that  feeling 
of  enmity  which  finally  resulted  in  their  destruction. 

Now  it  so  happened  that  the  minds  of  the  Saints  in  Salt 
Lake  City  were  at  that  time  strongly  prejudiced  against  the 
people  of  Arkansas,  and  for  a  most  unsaintly  reason.  The 
Apostle  Parley  P.  Pratt,  who  was  one  of  the  earliest  converts 
to  Mormonism,  and  who  so  ably  defended  his  adopted  creed 
with  his  pen  and  from  the  platform,  had  not  very  long  before 
been  sojourning  in  Arkansas  and  had  there  run  away  with 
another  man's  wife.  This  was  only  a  trifle  for  an  "  Apostle  " 
to  do,  and  the  husband — Mr.  McLean — might  have  known  it. 
But  he  was  a  most  inconsiderate  man  and  was  actually 
offended  with  the  amorous  Apostle  for  what  he  had  done.  He 
pursued  him  and  killed  him,  for  in  those  rough  parts  it  was 
considered  that  the  Apostle  did  wrong  in  marrying  the  man's 
wife.  Nobody,  however,  took  any  notice  of  the  matter  or 
brought  the  miu-derer  to  trial.  The  Mormon  people,  of  course, 
took  the  side  of  the  Apostle  Parley  P.  Pratt.  Sensitive  them- 
selves to  the  highest  degree  concerning  their  wives  and 
daughters,  they  considered  McLean  a  sinner  for  doing  just 
exactly  what  any  Saint  would  have  certainly  done.  Their 
opinion,  however,  would  have  been  a  matter  of  consequence 
only  to  themselves,  had  not  such  fatal  consequences  resulted 

326  THE    ENEMY    TO    BE    "  CUT    OFF." 

from  it.  Reasoning  without  reason,  they  argued  that  McLean 
was  the  enemy  of  every  Mormon,  and  every  Mormon  was  the 
enemy  of  McLean  ; — McLean  was  protected  in  Arkansas 
therefore  every  man  from  Arkansas  was  an  enemy  of  the  Mor- 
mons ; — an  enemy  ought  to  be  cut  off — therefore  it  was  the 
duty  of  every  Mormon  to  "  cut  off " — if  he  could — every 
Arkansas  man. 

This  appears  to  have  been  the  tone  of  thought  which 
actuated  the  minds  of  the  leaders  of  the  people  at  the  time 
when  this  emigrant  train  arrived  in  the  City. 

Weary  and  footsore  they  encamped  by  the  Jordan  River, 
trusting  there  to  recruit  themselves  and  their  teams,  and  to 
replenish  their  stock  of  provisions.  The  harvest  in  Utah  that 
year  had  been  abundant,  and  there  was  nothing  to  hinder 
them  from  obtaining  a  speedy  and  full  supply.  Brigham 
Young  was  then  Governor  of  Utah  Territory,  Commander-in- 
Chief  of  the  Militia,  and  Indian  Agent  as  well: — he  was  there- 
fore responsible  for  all  that  took  place  within  his  jurisdiction. 
It  was  his  duty  to  protect  all  law-abiding  persons  who  either 
resided  in  or  travelled  through  the  country.  The  emigrants, 
so  far  from  being  protected,  were  ordered  to  break  up  their 
camp  and  move  on ;  and  it  is  said  that  written  instructions 
were  sent  on  before  them,  directing  the  people  in  the  settle- 
ments through  which  they  would  have  to  pass  to  have  no 
dealings  with  them.  This,  considering  their  need  of  provi- 
sions, was  much  the  same  as  condemning  them  to  certain 

Compelled  to  travel  on,  they  pursued  their  journey  slowly 
towards  Los  Angeles.  At  American  Fork  they  wished  to 
trade  off  some  of  their  worn-out  stock  and  to  purchase  fresh, 
— they  also  desired  to  obtain  provisions.  There  was  abund- 
ance of  everything  from  the  farm  and  from  the  field,  for  God 
had  very  greatly  blessed  the  land  that  year ;  but  they  could 
obtain  nothing.  They  passed  on,  and  went  through  Battle 
Creek,  Provo,  Springville,  Spanish  Fork,  Payson,  Salt  Creek 
and  Fillmore,  and  their  reception  was  still  the  same, — the 
word  of  the  Mormon  Pontiff  had  gone  forth,  and  no  man 

THE    EMIGRANTS    ON    THE    ROAD.  32/ 

dared  to  hold  communion  or  to  trade  with  them.  Now  and 
then,  some  Mormon,  weak  in  the  faith  or  brav'er  or  more  fond 
of  money  than  his  fellows,  would  steal  into  the  camp,  in  the 
darkness  of  the  night,  bearing  with  him  just  what  he  was  able 
to  carry  ;  but  beyond  this  they  could  procure  nothing.  Their 
only  hope  now  lay  in  the  chance  of  holding  out  until  they 
could  push  through  to  some  Gentile  settlement  where  the 
word  of  the  priestly  Governor  of  Utah  was  not  law.  Through 
fifteen  different  Mormon  settlements  did  they  pass,  without 
being  able  to  purchase  a  morsel  of  bread.  With  empty 
wagons  and  on  short  allowance,  they  pushed  on  until  they 
reached  Corn  Creek,  where,  for  the  first  time  in  saintly  Utah, 
they  met  a  friendly  greeting  from  the  Indians  and  purchased 
from  them  thirty  bushels  of  corn,  of  which  they  stood  very 
greatly  in  need. 

At  Beaver  they  were  again  repulsed,  and  at  Parowan  they 
were  not  permitted  to  enter  the  town — they  were  forced  to 
leave  the  public  highway  and  pass  round  the  west  side  of  the 
fort  wall.  They  encamped  by  the  stream,  and  tried,  as  before, 
to  obtain  food  and  fresh  cattle,  but  again  to  no  purpose. 
The  reason  why  they  were  refused  admission  into  the  town 
was  probably  because  the  militia  was  there  assembled  under 
Colonel  \Vm.  H.  Dame — which  militia  afterwards  assisted  in 
their  destruction,  for  which  preparations  were  even  now 

They  made  their  way  to  Cedar  City,  the  most  populous  of 
all  the  towns  of  Southern  Utah.  Here  they  were  allowed  to 
purchase  fifty  bushels  of  tithing  wheat  and  to  have  it  ground 
at  the  mill  of  that  infamous  scoundrel  John  D.  Lee,  upon 
whose  memory  will  rest  the  eternal  curses  of  all  who  have 
ever  heard  his  name.  It  was,  however,  no  act  of  mercy — the 
suppl)-ing  of  this  corn.  The  sellers  of  it  knew  well  enough 
even  then  that  it  would  return  to  them  again  in  the  course  of 
a  few  days.  After  all,  they  had  but  forty  days'  rations  to 
carry  them  on  to  San  Bernardino,  in  California — a  journey  of 
about  seventy  days.  Scanty  kindness — miserable  generosity  ! 
— fifty  bushels  of  corn  for  a  seventy-days'  journey,  for  men. 


women,  and  young  children,  and  at  least  one  little  one  to  be 
born  on  the  road. 

They  remained  in  Cedar  City  only  one  day,  and  so  jaded 
were  their  teams  that  it  took  them  three  days  to  travel  thence 
to  Iron  Creek — a  distance  of  twenty  miles  ;  and  two  days 
were  occupied  in  journeying  fifteen  miles — the  distance 
between  Iron  Creek  and  the  Meadows. 

The  morning  after  they  left  Iron  Creek,  the  Mormon 
militia  followed  them  in  pursuit,  intending,  it  is  supposed,  to 
assault  them  at  Clara  Crossing.  That  this  was  no  private 
outburst,  and  that,  on  the  contrary,  it  was  done  by  authority,  is 
evident  from  sworn  testimony  to  the  effect  that  the  assembling 
of  those  troops  was  the  result  of  "  a  regular  iiiilitary  call 
from  the  superior  officers  to  the  subordinate  officers  and  privates 
of  the  regiment.  .  .  Said  reginient  ivas  duly  ordered  to 
m-uster,  armed  and  equipped  as  the  law  directs,  and  prepared 
for  field  operations!'  A  regular  military  council  was  held  at 
Parowan,  at  which  were  present  President  Isaac  C.  Haight, 
the  Mormon  High-Priest  of  Southern  Utah,  Colonel  Dame, 
Major  John  D.  Lee,  and  the  Apostle  George  A.  Smith. 

No  military  council,  whether  of  the  militia  or  the  ordinary 
troops  of  the  line,  would  dare  to  determine  upon  such  an 
important  matter  as  the  cutting  off  of  an  emigrant  train  of 
one  hundred  and  thirty  persons  without  receiving  permission 
from  superior  authority.  Brigham  Young  was  in  this  case 
the  superior  authority — he  was  the  Commander-in-Chief  of 
the  Militia  : — the  inference  is  obvious.  I  do  not,  of  course, 
say  that  he  gave  the  order  for  this  accursed  deed,  but  that  it 
was  his  business  to  bring  the  criminals  to  justice  no  one  can 
doubt  or  deny. 

The  regiment  which  started  from  Cedar  City  under  the 
command  of  Major  John  D.  Lee,  the  sub-agent  for  Indian 
affairs  in  Southern  Utah,  was  accompanied  by  baggage- 
wagons  and  the  other  paraphernalia  of  war,  excepting  only 
heavy  artillery,  which  in  this  case  would  have  been  useless. 
But,  at  the  same  time,  a  large  body  of  the  Piede  Indians  had 
been  invited  to  accompany  them. 

THE    ORDER    FOR    THE    MASSACRE.  329 

An  order  came  from  head-quarters  to  cut  off  the  entire 
company  except  the  Httle  children.  The  emigrants  were 
utterly  unprepared,  and  the  first  onslaught  found  them 
defenceless.  Accustomed,  however,  to  border  warfare,  they 
immediately  corralled  their  wagons  and  prepared  for  a  siege— 
their  great  misfortune  Avas  that  they  had  not  any  water. 

Major  John  D.  Lee,  finding  the  emigrants  resolute,  sent  to 
Cedar  City  and  Washington  City  for  re-inforcements,  which 
duly  arrived. 

The  next  morning,  Major  John  D.  Lee  assembled  his 
troops,  including  the  auxiliaries  which  he  had  summoned, 
about  half  a  mile  from  the  intrenchment  of  the  fated  emi- 
grants, and  then  and  there  informed  them,  with  all  the  cool- 
ness which  such  an  infamous  scoundrel  alone  could  muster, 
that  the  whole  company  was  to  be  killed,  and  only  the  little 
children  who  were  too  young  to  remember  anything  were  to 
be  spared. 

The  unfortunate  emigrants  did  not  know  who  their  foes 
were.  They  saw  Indians,  or  men  who  were  so  colored  that 
they  looked  like  Indians,  and  they  saw  others  who  were  more 
than  strangers  to  them,  but  they  had  no  clue  to  the  cause  of 
their  detention.  To  them  all  was  mystery.  That  Indians 
should  attack  them  was  quite  within  the  bounds  of  probability, 
although  there  was  at  that  time  no  cause  for  such  an  outrage  ; 
but  that  such  an  attack  should  be  persistent,  and  should  be 
carried  on  under  the  peculiar  circumstances  in  question,  was, 
to  say  the  least,  highly  improbable. 

A  flag  of  truce  was  sent  down  to  the  unfortunate  emi- 
grants: but  wherefore  a  flag  of  truce!' — wherefore  any  condi- 
tions of  warfare.^  and  wherefore  should  the  militia  regiment  be 
militant  against  them  ?  No  answer  can  be  returned  to  these 
questions  without  disclosing  secret  scenes  of  sin  and  shameful 
iniquity  at  the  mention  of  which  even  the  souls  of  fiend  might 
stand  aghast. 

A  message  was  sent  to  the  emigrant  camp — a  message  not 
of  Christian  love  and  help,  but  such  as  might  be  sent  from 
one  foeman  to  another.     A  flag  of  truce  was  sent,  and  with  it 

330  THE   FLAG    OF    TRUCE. 

a  message  to  the  effect  that,  if  the  emigrants  chose  to  lay  down 
their  arms  and  surrender  themselves  to  the  militia,  their  lives 
should  be  spared.  Consider  the  atrocity  of  this.  Here  was  a 
company  of  harmless  emigrants,  against  whom  not  even  the 
slightest  wrong-doing  had  been  suggested.  Yet,  unquestioned, 
unaccused,  innocent  of  all  wrong-doing,  the  authorised  and 
duly  constituted  militia  of  Utah  Territory — a  Territory  claim- 
ing even  then  to  be  admitted  into  the  Union  as  the  State  of 
*'Dese7'ef' — was  encamped  against  those  unoffending  citizens, 
with  the  cruel,  the  iniquitous  purpose  of  cutting  them  off. 

Who  could  rightly  tell  a  story  so  fearful  as  this.^  The 
emigrant  train  —  men,  women,  and  children  fainting  and  fam- 
ishing for  want  of  bread  and  meat.  In  their  pockets  was 
money  wherewith  the  necessaries  of  life  might  have  been 
bought,  and  the  generous  hand  of  the  Almighty  had  that  year 
been  open  so  wide  and  had  scattered  those  necessaries  so  lib- 
erally that  nothing  but  the  wickedness  of  man  towards  his 
fellow  could  have  created  a  dearth.  But  so  it  was  that  dark- 
ness and  the  fear  of  death — a  fearful  death  even  at  the  door — 
was  all  those  poor  emigrants  had  standing  before  their  eyes. 
What  right  had  the  Mormon  militia  to  be  pursuing,  to  be 
hanging  about  the  skirts  of  any  body  of  emigrants.  Their 
very  presence  was  in  itself  unauthorised  —  criminal.  The 
emigrants  supposed  that  they  were  surrounded  by  Indians  and 
expected  the  cruellest  treatment  in  case  of  resistance — not 
death,  but  the  outrage  and  shocking  atrocities  of  savages. 
They  did  not  know  that  the  red  men  who  threatened  their 
lives  and  the  lives  of  their  helpless  wives  and  infants  were 
brought  together  at  that  spot  for  that  same  purpose  by  the 
counsel  of  Mormon  authorities.  They  did  not  know  that  so 
many  of  the  appearing  red-skins  were  only  painted  devils,  mocks 
of  humanity,  wretches  who  under  the  mask  of  a  red-skin's  color 
were  eager  to  perpetrate  the  foulest  of  offences — scoundrels  a 
thousand  times  damned  in  the  opinion  of  men  and  by  the 
decree  of  God. 

Day  after  day  went  by,  and  the  poor  creatures  began  to 
despair — who  can  wonder?     The  brave  men  cared  little  for 


their  own  lives ;  but  there  was  something  fearful  in  the  thought 
that  their  darling  ones  would  be  scalped,  and  torn  in  pieces,  and 
brutally  outraged !  Who  can  wonder  that  they  resolved  to  sell 
life  as  dearly  as  they  possibly  could  ?  They  might  at  least  die  in 
defence  of  those  they  loved. 

So  day  followed  day.  The  agony  of  the  unhappy  men  and 
women  who  were  thus  besieged  and  were  in  daily,  hourly  peril 
of  the  most  frightful  of  all  deaths  can  be  imagined — not  told. 
Meanwhile,  what  were  those  atrocious  scoundrels  doing  who 
were  lying  in  wait  for  their  blood .-'  Some  of  them  were 
tricked  out  as  Indians  ;  some  were  in  their  own  proper  dresses  ; 
and,  moreover,  real  Utes  were  there.  The  unhappy  victims 
could  not  possibly  escape — there  was  time  for  the  murderers 
to  do  their  work  leisurely.  Between  chance  shots,  which  were 
intended  to,  and  did,  carry  death  with  them,  they  amused  them- 
selves with  "pitching  horse-shoe  quoits:" — such  heartlessness 
is  almost  beyond  conception. 

In  terrible  need  of  water,  they  thought  that  even  the  Indians 
who  they  supposed  were  their  assailants  might  possibly  respect 
a  token  of  truce ;  so  they  dressed  two  little  girls  in  white  and 
sent  them  down  to  the  well.  But  the  fiends — the  Mormon 
militia — shot  them  down.  In  the  day  of  doom,  the  blood  of 
those  babes  will  testify  more  heavily  against  Major  John  D. 
Lee  and  Isaac  C.  Haight,  and  Colonel  Dame,  and  George  A. 
Smith,  and  the  other  wretch  who  plotted  and  contrived  that 
fearful  iniquity,  than  any  of  the  base  and  cowardly  crimes 
which  have  for  years  and  years  blackened  their  contemptible 
and  miserable  souls. 

They  could  not  possibly  advance.  Their  corn  would  not 
last  long.  They  were  famishing  for  water.  How  long  they 
could  hold  out  was  evidently  only  a  matter  of  time.  Had  the 
train  consisted  only  of  men,  they  might  certainly,  if  with  loss, 
have  cut  their  way  through  their  besiegers  and  escaped;  but 
with  wives  and  children,  and  others  bound  to  them  by  the  ten- 
derest  ties,  such  a  thing  was  impossible.  They  looked  and 
waited.  Savage  Indians  they  supposed  were  their  only  ene- 
mies.     Coldly,  strangely  as  they  had   been    treated  at  the 

332  THE    "  WHITE    INDIANS   '  :—  TREACHERY. 

Mormon  settlements,  they  never  for  a  moment  supposed  that 
white  men  could  be  in  league  against  them  or  could  meditate 
their  destruction. 

Up  in  the  meadows — in  the  distance — there  was  a  white 
dusty  cloud  as  if  of  some  person  or  persons  approaching: — 
the  hearts  of  the  emigrants  leaped  for  joy.  Was  help  coming 
at  last.'*  It  was  evident  that  a  wagon  was  coming  near,  and  the 
wagon  was  filled  with  armed  men  ; — here  was  hope.  After  all 
the  misery  of  that  waitful  watching,  they  were  overjoyed,  and 
shouted  aloud  with  gladness,  and  sprang  with  open  arms  to 
welcome  their  visitors.  Little  did  they  suppose  that  the  fiends 
who  then  came  down,  with  pale  faces  and  the  manners  of 
white  men,  were  the  same  as  those  who,  painted  and  decked 
out  like  Indians,  had  been  leaguered  about  their  camp  with 
murderous  intentions  for  so  many  days. 

The  wagon  came  near,  and  was  found  to  be  filled  with  armed 
men.  Surely  now,  the  unhappy  emigrants  thought,  sub- 
stantial help  had  come — the  authorities  of  Utah  in  the 
neighborhood,  whether  Gentile  or  Mormon,  had  come  out  in 
the  cause  of  civilisation  and  humanity,  and  succor  was  at  hand. 

A  white  flag  was  waved  from  the  wagon  as  an  emblem  of 
peace,  and  in  order  that  the  emigrants  might  know  that  it  was 
white  men  and  not  the  red  demons  of  the  hills  who  approached. 
They  did  not,  indeed,  know  that  these  themselves  were  the 
monsters  who  had  wronged  them  all  this  time  and  who  were 
even  now  compassing  their  death. 

Inside  that  wagon  was  President  Haight,  the  infamous 
Mormon  Bishop  John  D.  Lee,  and  other  authorities  of  the 
Church  in  Southern  Utah.  They  professed  to  the  emigrants 
that  they  came  upon  the  friendly  errand  of  standing  between 
them  and  the  Indians.  They  said  that  the  Indians  had  taken 
offence  at  something  that  the  emigrants  had  done,  that  they 
were  thirsting  for  their  blood,  but  that  they — the  Mormon  offi- 
cials—  were  on  good  terms  with  them  and  had  influence, 
and  would  use  their  good  offices  in  the  cause  of  mercy 
and  of  peace.  After  some  discussion  they  left  with  the  pro- 
fessed view  of  conciliating  the  Indians.     Then  they  returned 

THE    MASSACRE.  333 

and  said  that  the  Indians  had  agreed,  that  if  the  emigrants 
marched  back  to  Salt  Lake  City  their  lives  should  be  spared  ; 
but  that  they  must  leave  everything  behind  them  in  their 
camp,  even  including  the  common  weapons  of  defence  which 
every  Western  man  carries  about  his  person.  The  Mormon 
officials  then  solemnly  undertook  to  bring  an  armed  force  and 
to  guard  the  emigrants  safely  back  again  to  the  Settlements. 

The  emigrants  were  not  cowards,  and  would  doubtless  have 
preferred  to  cut  their  way  through  to  the  South,  but  they  could 
not  leave  their  wives  and  little  ones,  and  any  terms,  however 
disadvantageous,  were  better  than  leaving  those  they  loved  to 
the  tender  mercy  of  those  wretches. 

This  agreement  being  made,  the  Mormon  officials  retired, 
and  after  a  short  time  again  returned  with  thirty  or  forty 
armed  men.  Then  the  emigrants  were  marched  out — the 
women  and  children  in  the  front,  and  the  men  following,  while 
the  Mormon  guard  followed  in  the  rear.  When  they  had 
marched  in  this  way  about  a  mile  and  had  arrived  at  the  place 
where  the  Indians  were  hid  in  the  bushes  on  each  side  of  the 
road,  the  signal  was  given  for  the  slaughter.  So  taken  by  sur- 
prise were  the  emigrants,  and  so  implicitly  had  they  confided 
in  these  murderers  that  they  offered  no  resistance.  The  Mor- 
mon Militia — their  guard — immediately  opened  fire  upon  them 
from  the  rear,  while  the  Indians,  and  Mormons  disguised  as 
Indians,  who  were  hidden  among  the  bushes,  rushed  out  upon 
them,  shooting  them  down  with  guns  and  bows  and  arrows, 
and  cutting  some  of  the  men's  throats  with  knives.  The 
women  and  children,  shrieking  with  mortal  terror,  scattered  and 
fled,  some  trying  to  hide  in  the  bushes.  Two  young  girls 
actually  did  escape  for  about  a  quarter  of  a  mile  when  they 
were  overtaken  and  butchered  under  circumstances  of  the 
greatest  brutality.  The  son  of  John  D.  Lee  endeavored  to 
protect  one  poor  girl  who  clung  to  him  for  help  ;  but  his 
father,  tearing  her  from  him  by  violence,  blew  out  her  brains. 
Another  unhappy  girl  is  said  to  have  kneeled  to  this  same 
monster  Lee,  entreating  him  to  spare  her  life.  He  dragged 
her  into  the  bushes,  stripped  her  naked,  and  cut  her  throat 

334  "  I    WILL    REPAY,    SAITH    THE    LORD." 

from  ear  to  ear,  after  she  had  suffered  worse  at  his  hands  than 
death  itself.  About  half  an  hour  was  probably  occupied  in 
the  butchery,  and  every  soul  of  that  company  was  cut  off, 
excepting  only  a  few  little  children  who  were  supposed  to  be 
too  young  to  understand  or  remember  what  had  taken  place. 
The  unfortunate  victims  were  then  stripped,  without  reference 
to  age  or  sex,  and  then  left  to  rot  upon  the  field.  There  they 
remained  until  torn  and  dismembered  by  the  wolves,  when  it 
was  then  thought  prudent  to  conceal  such  as  lay  nearest  to 
the  road.  An  eye-witness  subsequently  visiting  the  spot 
said  : — 

The  scene  of  the  massacre,  even  at  this  late  day,  was  horrible  to  look  upon. 
Women's  hair  in  detached  locks  and  in  masses  hung  to  the  sage  bushes  and 
was  strewn  over  the  ground  in  many  places.  Parts  of  little  children's  dresses 
and  of  female  costume  dangled  from  the  shrubbery,  or  lay  scattered  about,  and 
among  these,  here  and  there  on  every  hand,  for  at  least  a  mile  in  the  direction 
of  the  road,  by  two  miles  east  and  west,  there  gleamed,  bleached  white  by  the 
weather,  the  skulls  and  other  bones  of  those  who  had  suffered.  A  glance  into 
the  wagon,  when  all  these  had  been  collected,  revealed  a  sight  which  never  can 
be  forgotten. 

The  remains  were  subsequently  gathered  together  by  Major 
Carleton,  the  United  States  Commissioner,  who  erected  over 
them  a  large  cairn  of  stones,  surmounted  by  a  cross  of  red 
cedar,  with  an  inscription  thereon  :  "  Vengeance  is  mine :  I 
will  repay,  saitJi  the  Lord;"  and  on  a  stone  beneath  were 
engraved  the  words  :- 

"Here  120  men,  v/omen,  and  children  were  massacred  in 
cold  blood,  early  in  September,  1857.  They  were  from 

It  is  said  that  this  monument  was  subsequently  destroyed 
by  order  of  Brigham  Young,  when  he  visited  that  part  of  the 

The  little  children,  while  their  parents  were  being  butchered, 
had  clung  about  their  murderer's  knees  entreating  mercy,  but 
none  of  tliem  finding  it  save  those  who  were  little  more  than 
infants.  Their  fears  and  cries  the  night  after  the  murder  are 
said  to  have  been  heart-rending.  One  little  babe,  just  begin- 
ning to  walk,  was  shot  through  the  arm.     Another  little  girl 


was  shot  through  the  ear,  and  the  clothes  of  most  of  them  were 
saturated  with  their  mothers'  blood.  They  were  distributed 
among  the  people  of  the  settlements,  and  when  finally  the 
Got^ernment  took  them  under  the  protection  of  the  nation, 
the  people  among  whom  these  little  ones  lived  actually  charged 
for  their  boarding.  Two  of  them  are  said  to  have  uttered 
some  words  from  which  it  was  presumed  that  their  intelligence 
was  in  advance  of  their  years.  They  were  taken  out  quietly 
and — buried!     This  happened  some  time  after  the  massacre. 

Most  of  the  property  of  the  emigrants  was  sold  by  public 
auction  in  Cedar  City  : — the  Indians  got  most  of  the  flour  and 
ammunition,  and  the  Mormons  the  more  valuable  articles. 
They  jested  over  it  and  called  it  "  Spoil  taken  at  the  siege  of 
Sevastopol."  There  is  legal  proof  that  the  clothing  stripped 
from  the  corpses,  blood-stained,  riddled  by  the  bullets,  and 
with  shreds  of  flesh  attached  to  it,  was  placed  in  the  cellar  of 
the  tithing  office,  where  it  lay  about  three  weeks,  when  it  was 
privately  sold.  The  cellar  is  said  to  have  smelt  of  it  for  years. 
Long  after  this  time,*  jewelry  torn  from  the  mangled  bodies 
of  the  unfortunate  women  was  publicly  worn  in  Salt  Lake  City, 
and  every  one  knew  whence  it  came.  A  tithing  of  it  all  is 
reported  upon  very  conclusive  evidence  to  have  been  laid  at 
the  feet  of  Brigham  Young. 

This  is  the  story — most  imperfectly  told — for  I  dare  not 
sketch  its  foulest  details, — of  the  Mountain  Meadows  Mas- 
sacre. Brigham  Young,  who  was  at  the  time  Governor  of 
the  Territory  and  also  Indian  Agent,  made  no  report  of 
the  matter.  Let  that  fact  of  itself  speak  for  his  innocence  or 
guilt.  Would  any  other  governor  or  agent  in  another  Ter- 
ritory have  been  thus  silent  }  John  D.  Lee,  and  Dame,  and 
Haight,  and  the  other  wretches  have  never  been  brought  to 
trial  or  cut  off  from  the  Church,  although  their  monstrous 
crime  has  never  been  a  secret,  nor  have  any  endeavors  been 
made  to  conceal  it. 

This  fearful  deed  was  one  of  the  unavoidable  results  of  the 
teachings  of  the  Mormon  leaders  during  the  Reformation. 
There  were  crimes  then  perpetrated  in  secret  which  will  never 


be  known  until  the  Day  of  Doom  ;  and  there  were  horrors 
which  have  been  known  and  recorded,  but  for  which  no  one 
has  been  brought  to  trial  or  has  suffered  inconvenience. 
There  are  men  in  Salt  Lake  City,  who  walk  about  unblush- 
ingly  in  broad  daylight,  but  who  are  known  to  be  murderers, 
and  whose  hands  have  been  again  and  again  dyed  with  blood 
under  circumstances  of  the  most  atrocious  cruelty. 

There  was  one  cruel  murder — but  by  no  means  the  worst — 
which  came  under  my  own  personal  observation,  and  which  I 
have  alluded  to  elsewhere — the  murder  of  Dr.  John  King  Rob- 
inson in  Salt  Lake  City — which  attracted  more  than  ordinary 
attention.  This  gentleman  was  a  physician  of  good  standing, 
who  came  out  as  assistant-surgeon  with  the  United  States  army, 
and  afterwards  began  to  practice  in  Salt  Lake  City.  He  was 
known  as  a  man  of  unimpeachable  moral  character,  and  there 
are  to  this  day  hundreds  of  responsible  people  who  would 
testify  to  his  fair  fame  and  rectitude  ;  although  he  had  by  some 
means  incurred  the  dislike  of  many  of  the  Mormon  leaders. 
He  formed  the  idea  of  taking  possession  of  some  warm  springs 
on  the  north  of  the  city,  and  proposed  to  erect  there  baths,  an 
hospital,  etc.  A  small  wooden  shanty  was  erected  for  the 
purpose  of  holding  possession,  but  the  city  authorities  claimed 
the  spnng,  and,  after  some  very  unpleasant  proceedings,  the 
matter  was  referred  to  the  law  courts,  and  Judge  Titus  decided 
against  the  doctor. 

After  this  verdict  had  been  rendered,  Dr.  Robinson  seems 
to  have  acted  very  prudently,  and  to  have  remained  in-doors 
as  much  as  possible  during  the  succeeding  days.  Between 
eleven  and  twelve  o'clock  on  the  night  of  the  third  day,  how- 
ever, after  the  family  had  retired  to  rest,  a  man  called  at  the 
house,  and  stating  that  his  brother  had  broken  his  leg  by  a 
fall  from  a  mule  and  was  suffering  very  much,  he,  after  some 
earnest  persuasion,  induced  the  doctor  to  accompany  him. 
Anxious  as  he  might  be  to  remain  in-doors  at  such  a  time,  no 
professional  man  would  refuse  to  perform  an  act  of  mercy. 
He  accordmgly  went.  At  a  distance  of  about  a  couple  of 
hundred  steps  from  the  house  he  was  struck  over  the  head 

"WHEN   'DESERET'    BECOMES     A   STATE?"  339 

with  some  sharp  instrument,  and  immediately  after  shot 
through  the  brain.  His  wife,  a  young  girl,  to  whom  he  had 
only  been  married  a  very  short  time,  heard  the  report  of  the 
pistol,  and  witnesses  saw  men  fleeing  from  the  spot.  The 
police  were  sent  for,  and  the  body  was  carried  to  Independence 
Hall,  and  afterwards  to  the  victim's  house.  The  Mayor  of 
the  city  was  not  informed  of  the  murder  until  ten  o'clock  the 
next  day,  and  the  chief-of-police  who  was  sitting  round  the 
fire  with  his  men  when  news  of  the  murder  arrived,  went  to 
bed  immediately  and  did  not  visit  the  scene  of  the  outrage  for 
three  days. 

The  following  Sunday,  Brigham  Young,  in  the  Tabernacle, 
publicly  suggested  that  the  doctor  had  probably  been  mur- 
dered by  some  of  the  soldiers  from  Camp  Douglas,  who  were 
dissatisfied  with  his  treatment  when  they  were  under  his  hands, 
or  else  that  he  had  fallen  in  some  gambling  transaction — both 
of  which  statements,  however,  were  known  by  every  one  pres- 
ent to  be  utterly  false.  No  one  was  ever  punished  for  this  cruel 
murder.  This  murder  did  not  occur  during  the  Reformation, 
but  it  was  the  natural  result  of  the  teachings  of  those  times. 

I  simply  mention  these  facts  without  any  comment  of  my 
own.  Let  the  reader  form  his  own  conclusion.  More  of  these 
frightful  stories  I  do  not  care  to  relate ;  and  I  should  not  even 
have  presented  these  to  the  notice  of  the  reader  had  it  not 
been  impossible  otherwise  to  give  any  suitable  idea  of  that 
terrible  "  Reformation."  The  Gentile  army  came  in.  The 
Union  Pacific  Railroad  was  opened.  Changes  and  chances 
altered  all  that  had  been,  and  brought  into  being  that  which 
might  be,  and  that  which  finally  really  was.  Instead  of  look- 
ing to  the  events  of  three  or  four  thousand  years  ago,  men 
began  to  act  up  to  things  which  were — to  think  and  act  in  the 
present,  not  to  dream  of  the  past.  The  day  has  gone  by — but 
not  far — when  the  perpetration  openly  of  such  deeds  was  pos- 
sible ;  but  it  is  still  boasted  that  when  ^' Deseret"  becomes  a 
State  the  "  Saints"  will  "  shew  still  greater  Zeal  for  the  Lord,!'*' 




Life  in  Zion — Introduced  to  Brother  Heber — "Have  you  got  the  Blues!" — A 
wife's  trials  :  Counselled  to  take  Another  Wife — The  Tabernacle  Sermons — 
The  Crowning  Glory  of  a  Man — Spiritual  Food — "  Filled  with  the  Devil  " — 
^  Face  to  Face  with  Polygamy — Winter  in  Salt  Lake  City — A  New  Position — I 
Produce  My  Treasures — My  "Talkative  P'riend  " — Comforting  Visitors — "I 
don't  like  Crying  Women — Afraid  of  Opposition — Paid  in  Salt  Chips  and 
Whetstones — Creating  a  Business — "  Something  Like  Home  " — A  Bonnet  for 
Brigham's  Favorite  Wife — Running  up  a  Little  Bill — How  the  Honest  Prophet 
Paid  It — Has  He  any  Conscience? — My  Whole  Fortune  Gone. 

WHEN  I  arrived  in  Utah  I  found  that  nearly  all  the  Elders 
with  whom  I  had  formerly  been  acquainted  had  more 
than  one  wife  there.  Many  of  these  brethren  called  to  see  me, 
and  kindly  insisted  that  I  should  visit  their  families  ;  but  this  I 
felt  was  almost  an  impossibility. 

My  whole  nature  rebelled  at  the  thought  of  visiting  where 
there  were  several  wives  ;  for,  in  defiance  of  all  the  teaching 
that  I  had  listened  to  and  the  tyranny  to  which  we  had  sub- 
mitted, human  nature  would  assert  itself,  and  my  womanly  in- 
stincts revolted  against  the  system.  I  could  not  endure  the 
thought  of  visiting  those  families  in  company  with  my  husband. 
I  thought  that  perhaps  sometimes  I  might  venture  alone ;  but, 
Oh,  not  with  him, — no,  not  with  him.  It  was  bad  enough  and 
humiliating  enough  for  me  to  witness  by  myself  the  degrada- 
tion of  my  sex;  but  to  do  so  in  the  presence  of  my  husband 
was  more  than  I  could  calmly  contemplate.     I  knew  that' I 

"have  you  got  the  blues?"  341 

should  not  be  able  to  control  myself,  and  might  probably  say 
some  very  unpleasant  things,  which  I  should  afterwards  regret ; 
for  I  so  thoroughly  loathed  even  the  idea  of  Polygomy  at  that 
time  that  I  was  filled  with  a  desire  to  let  every  one  know  and 
understand  just  what  my  feelings  were  on  that  subject. 

I  had  left  New  York  against  my  will,  although  I  had  not 
openly  rebelled.  I  had  never  reproached  my  husband  about 
it,  for  I  felt  that  his  lot  was  irrevocably  cast  with  the  Mormons: 
I  knew  that  when  I  married  him,  and  it  was  of  no  use  now  for 
me  to  repine.  I  must  go  on  to  the  end — there  was  no  help  for 
me.  The  journey  across  the  Plains,  and  all  the  discoveries 
which  I  had  made,  had  not  tended  to  soothe  my  rebellious 
heart,  and  I  am  not  quite  sure  that  I  did  not  sow  by  the  way 
a  little  discontent  among  the  sisters.  The  idea,  however,  that 
such  was  the  case  did  not,  I  must  admit,  fill  me  with  much 
repentance.  To  my  husband  I  had  said  very  little,  but  I 
think  he  would  bear  me  witness  that  what  I  did  say  was  said 
effectively.  Now  when  I  was  brought  face  to  face  with  practical 
Polygamy  and  could  observe  it  in  its  most  repulsive  phases,  I 
hated  it  more  than  ever. 

One  day,  not  long  after  our  arrival,  as  we  were  taking  a  walk 
together,  I  saw  across  the  road  a  man  gesticulating  after  an 
eccentric  fashion  and  beckoning  to  us.  Mr.  Stenhouse  said  : 
"that  is  Brother  Heber  C.  Kimball;"  and  I  looked  agam  with 
interest  to  see  what  that  celebrated  Apostle  was  like.  I  had 
both  heard  and  read  a  great  deal  about  Brother  Heber,  and 
what  I  had  learned  was  not  at  all  of  a  character  to  impress 
me  favorably — he  had  been  so  severe  in  his  denunciation  of 
every  woman  who  dared  to  oppose  Polygamy.  On  the  present 
occasion  his  conduct  was,  I  thought,  anything  but  gentlemanly ; 
and  when  we  crossed  the  road  to  him, — which  on  account  of 
his  position  in  the  Church — next  to  Brigham  himself — we,  of 
course,  were  compelled  to  do, — my  face  must  have  betrayed 
my  feelings  I  am  sure,  for  almost  his  first  words  after  shaking 
hands  were  :  "  Have  you  got  the  blues  ?  " 

My  answer  was  ready  in  a  moment — "  I  have  had  nothing 
else  ever  since  I  came  here." 

342  "  I    RATHER    LIKE    YOUR    LOOKS. 

"  Well,"  he  replied,  "  It  is  time  that  you  should  get  rid  of 
them,  and  I  am  going  to  talk  to  you  some  day  soon,  for  I  rather 
like  your  looks." 

I  did  not  like  his  looks  much,  however,  nor  was  I  at  all 
pleased  with  his  manner.  I  do  not  say  that  I  was  altogether 
without  blame  in  feeling  thus,  for  I  was  prejudiced.  Of  course 
I  was  prejudiced.  From  the  first  moment  when  I  heard  that 
Polygamy  was  a  doctrine  of  the  Church,  I  was  predisposed  to 
be  dissatisfied  with  everything : — I  was  henceforth  not  myself, 
for  the  terrible  apprehension  of  my  own  fate  in  the  "  Celestial 
Order"  had  changed  my  whole  nature,  and  that  change  of 
itself  was  a  great  source  of  grief  to  me.  I  keenly  realised 
that  I  was  no  longer  the  light-hearted  pleasant  companion  to 
my  husband  that  I  had  been,  and  many  a  time  and  oft  I  wished 
for  his  sake  that  I  could  die,  for  I  felt  that  I  never  could  be 
happy  in  Mormonism  again. 

How  many  times  have  I  knelt  by  my  husband's  couch  when 
he  was  unconscious  of  it,  and  have  wept  bitter  tears  of  sorrow, 
earnestly  praying  to  the  Lord  to  subdue  my  rebellious  heart, 
and,  if  it  were  necessary,  rather  than  I  should  be  a  continual 
annoyance  to  my  husband  whom  I  loved  with  all  my  soul,  that 
every  particle  of  love  in  my  heart  should  be  withered,  so  that 
I  might  perchance,  if  without  love,  be  able  at  least  to  do  my 
duty.  I  fully  realised  that  in  Polygamy  there  could  be  no  real 
love;  and  while  my  affections  were  still  placed  upon  my  hus- 
band, it  was  torture  to  live  in  a  community  where  I  was 
compelled  to  listen  to  the  "counsels"  which  were  given  to 
him,  day  after  day,  regardless  of  my  presence,  to  take  another 
wife.  I  was  too  proud  to  notice  any  ordinary  allusion  that 
was  made  to  the  subject  before  me ;  but  when  the  conversation 
was  turned  in  that  direction  by  those  who  professed  to  be  sin- 
cere friends  and  to  entertain  a  kindly  interest  in  my  welfare,  I 
was  compelled  to  listen  and  reply. 

In  my  unhappy  condition,  I  thought  that  perhaps  I  might 
derive  some  consolation  from  the  sermons  in  the  Tabernacle — 
something  that  might  shed  a  softer  light  upon  my  rugged 
patlnvay.     But  instead  of  obtaining  consolation,  I  heard  that 



which  aroused  every  feehng  of  my  soul  to  rebellion  and 
kindled  again  within  me  the  indignation  which  I  had  been  so 
long  struggling  to  conquer.  I  heard  that  woman  was  an  infe- 
rior being,  designed  by  the  Lord  for  the  especial  glory  and 
exaltation  of  man,  that  she  was  a  creature  that  should  feel 
herself  honored  if  he  would  only  make  her  the  mother  of  his 
children  —  a  creature  who  if  very  obedient  and  faithful  through 
all  the  trials  and  tribulations  in  life,  might  some  day  be 
rewarded  by  becoming  one  of  her  husband's  queens,  but 
should  even  then  shine  only  by  virtue  of  the  reflected  light 
derived  from  the  glory  of  her  spouse  and  lord.  He  was  to  be 
her  "saviour,"  for  he  was  all  in  all  to  her;  and  it  was  through 
him  alone  and  at  his  will  that  she  could  obtain  salvation.  We 
were  informed  that  man  was  the  crowning  glory  of  creation, 
for  whom  all  things — woman  included — were  brought  into 
being;  and  that  the  chief  object  of  woman's  existence  was  to 
help  man  to  his  great  destiny. 

Not  a  sentence ;  indeed,  not  a  word  did  we  ever  hear  as  to 
the  possibility  of  womanly  perfection  and  exaltation  in  her 
own  right ;  and  not  only  so,  but,  as  if  this  were  not  enough  to 
crush  all  ambition  out  ot  our  souls,  we  were  instructed  in  some 
new  views  of  marriage.  The  great  object  of  marriage,  we 
were  told,  was  the  increase  of  children.  Those  diviner  objects 
—  the  companionship  of  soul;  the  devotion  of  a  refined  and 
pure  affection  ;  the  indissoluble  union  of  two  existences — 
were  never  presented  to  the  yearning  hearts  of  those  poor 
women  who  listened  to  the  miserable  harangues  of  the  Tab- 
ernacle :  such  aspirations  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  hard, 
cruel  facts  of  their  life  in  Polygamy. 

And  this  I  found  was  how  the  women  of  Utah  were  spirit- 
ually sustained.  Seldom,  indeed,  was  taught  anything  better, 
but  frequently  much  that  was  worse.  If  Nature,  asserting  its 
right  to  a  full  return  of  love,  should  manifest  itself  and  inspire 
some  of  these  poor  wives  to  rebel  against  the  lives  which  they 
were  compelled  to  lead  in  Polygamy,  then  it  would  be  said,  in 
the  language  of  the  Tabernacle,  that  the  women  were  "  filled 
with  the  devil,"  and  that  unless  they  repented  speedily,  they 


would  "apostatise  and  go  to  hell;"  —  an  assurance  which  was 
scarcely  necessary,  for  many  of  those  poor  souls  were  endur- 
ing as  much  as  if  they  were  there  already.  Or  if  some  woman 
was  found  objecting  to  Polygamy  on  account  of  its  crushing 
and  degrading  effects  upon  women  generally,  then,  as  I  just 
said,  she  was  told  in  the  coarse  language  of  Brigham  Young 
himself  that  "  such  women  had  no  business  to  complain ;  it 
was  quite  enough  honor  for  them  to  be  perm.itted  to  bear 
children  to  God's  holy  Priesthood." 

I  found,  therefore,  that  the  sermons  in  the  Tabernacle  were 
not  calculated  to  help  me  much  spiritually.  I  had  neither 
friend  nor  counsellor  on  earth  to  whom  I  could  turn  for  help — 
my  God  alone  remained  to  me.  But,  ah,  how  different  were 
my  ideas  of  God  then,  from  those  which  I  entertained  before 
and  since.  Once  I  could  look  upon  the  beauties  of  nature 
and  the  varied  experiences  of  human  life,  and  while  my  soul 
was  lifted  up  with  devotion  and  gratitude,  I  could  see  the  lov- 
ing hand  of  my  Heavenly  Father  in  everything  around  me. 
Now  there  was  neither  hght  nor  beauty  before  my  eyes  —  all 
was  dark  and  dreary ;  there  was  nothing  to  draw  away  my 
heart  from  such  sad  thoughts  as  these.  It  was  painfully  clear 
to  my  understanding,  then  as  now,  that  in  Mormonism  woman 
was  to  lose  her  personal  identity.  All  that  Christianity  had 
done  to  elevate  her  was  to  be  ruthlessly  set  aside  and  trampled 
under  foot,  and  she  was  instantly  to  return  to  the  position 
which  she  occupied  in  the  darkest  ages  of  the  world's 

I  had  at  that  time  the  daily  and  hourly  cares  of  a  family 
devolving  upon  me,  and  had  not  therefore  much  leisure  to 
spend  in  visiting  my  friends  even  if  I  had  desired  to  do  so. 
Notwithstanding  that,  however,  I  had  abundant  opportunities 
of  observation ;  and  thus  my  experience  of  Mormonism  and 
Polygamy  in  Utah  is  much  the  same  as  that  of  any  Mormon 
woman  of  ordinary  sense ;  I  only  tell  what  others  could  relate  if 
they  had  the  inclination  to  do  so.  It  was  not  possible  for  me  to 
live  in  Salt  Lake  City  without  being  brought  face  to  face  with 
Polygamy  in  some  shape  or  other  every  day  of  my  life.     Had 


it  been  otherwise,  and  if  remaining  at  home  would  have  kept 
it  from  my  view,  I  probably  never  should  have  had  the  cour- 
age to  enter  a  house  where  it  was  practiced.  To  those  who 
know  nothing  of  that  degrading  system  this  may  seem  rather 
an  exaggeration  of  feeling ;  and  yet,  even  at  that  early  day,  I 
had  seen  so  much  of  the  folly  and  weakness  of  the  Mormon 
brethren,  both  in  London  and  New  York,  before  we  went  to 
Utah,  and  had  witnessed  so  many  evil  results  of  their  teach- 
ings, that  it  was  with  the  greatest  difficulty  that  I  could  con- 
trol my  feelings  sufficiently  to  call  upon  any  family  where 
there  was  more  than  one  wife.  And  yet  what  I  knew  then 
was  nothing  in  comparison  to  what  I  afterwards  witnessed — 
yes,  that  I  myself  endured. 

During  the  winter,  although  I  visited  very  little,  I  attended 
a  good  many  parties  at  the  Social  Hall ;  but  I  did  so  more 
from  a  wish  to  be  agreeable  to  my  husband  than  from  any 
pleasure  that  they  afforded  me,  for  life  had  lost  its  charm  to 
me,  and  I  was  not  happy.  How  many  times  have  I  gazed 
wistfully  at  those  lofty  mountains  which  surrounded  the  city, 
and  felt  that  they  were  indeed  my  prison  walls.  How  bitterly 
have  I  realised  that  I  should  never  be  able  to  go  beyond  them. 
But  in  a  new  country,  with  a  family  to  provide  for,  a  mother 
has  not  much  time  to  waste  in  pining,  even  if  it  be  for  liberty 
itself,  and  I  would  willingly  draw  the  veil  over  that  portion  of 
my  life. 

As  my  husband  had  been  on  mission  for  so  many  years  and 
had  spent  all  his  time  in  the  service  of  the  Church,  with  the 
exception  of  a  few  brief  months  before  we  left  New  York — 
when  he  was  engaged  on  the  staff  of  the  New  York  Herald — 
I  naturally  enough  thought  that  when  we  reached  Zion  his 
occupation  would  be  gone.  There  would  be  no  need  of 
preaching  to  the  Saints :  on  the  contrary  they  would  be  able 
to  teach  us ;  and  we  should  have  to  find  out  what  we  could  do 
in  this  new  country  to  support  ourselves  and  our  children.  In 
this  I  was  not  mistaken. 

Now  among  the  "absolutely  necessary"  things  which  I  had 
brought  with  me  from  New  York,  were  about  three  hundred 


dollars'  worth  of  millinery  goods,  which  I  had  secreted  among 
our  other  properties,  thinking  that  they  would  very  probably 
come  in  useful  to  the  fair  daughters  of  Zion — notwithstand- 
ing that  the  Elders  had  told  me  of  fiery  sermons  delivered  by 
the  Prophet  himself  condemning  all  feminine  display,  and  that 
the  sisters  would  scorn  to  wear  Gentile  fashions.  I  knew  my 
own  sex  too  well  to  believe  that  all  this  was  strictly  true,  and 
I  felt  certain  that  I  should  find,  even  among  the  Saints,  some 
weak  sisters  who  would  appreciate  my  thoughtfulness  in 
bringing  such  articles  for  their  use.  I  had  also  noticed  that 
the  American  Elders  themselves  would  frequently  enquire 
where  they  could  buy  the  best  gloves  and  the  prettiest  ribbons 
and  laces,  and  that  looked  a  little  suspicious. 

Quite  a  number  of  such  articles,  therefore,  found  their  way 
into  my  list  of  "absolute  necessaries,"  and  I  know  that  my 
husband  was  secretly  quite  at  a  loss  to  know  what  had  become 
of  a  certain  sum  of  money  which  he  was  aware  I  had  ob- 
tained from  the  sale  of  some  of  our  things  in  New  York. 
But  my  foresight  in  this  instance  was  very  useful  to  us  when 
we  arrived  in  Zion. 

One  day  when  Mr.  Stenhouse  was  absent  seeking  employ- 
ment, I  thought  I  would  make  a  display  of  my  treasures  and 
surprise  him  on  his  return.  Accordingly,  with  the  assist- 
ance of  our  faithful  domestic,  whom  I  had  brought  with  me 
across  the  Plains,  and  who  had  also  lived  with  me  in  Switzer- 
land, we  contrived  to  place  two  or  three  planks  in  such  a  way 
as  to  make  a  rough  table  on  which  to  display  the  goods.  I 
had  been  secretly  at  work  for  about  two  weeks,  trimming  the 
bonnets  and  hats,  and  making  a  number  of  head-dresses,  such 
as  were  worn  in  New  York  when  we  left  ;  and,  although 
we  had  been  three  months  on  the  Plains,  and  quite  a  month 
in  Utah,  yet  those  bonnets  and  head-dresses  were  of  the  very 
latest  style  to  the  ladies  of  Salt  Lake  City. 

My  Swiss  girl  was  quite  a  carpenter,  and  when  my  tempo- 
rary table  was  arranged,  I  placed  a  pretty-looking  cloth  over 
it  to  hide  its  defects,  and  then  began  to  arrange  the  various 
articles.     I  found  that  I  had  a  much  finer  assortment  than  I 


had  imagined,  for  I  had  bought  them  at  different  times,  and 
had  packed  them  away  hurriedly,  lest  Mr.  Stenhouse  or  some 
of  the  other  Elders — for  there  were  generally  one  or  two  in 
the  house— should  object  to  my  taking  them.  When  my 
table  was  filled,  and  I  found  that  I  had  still  more  to  display,  I 
was  very  much  pleased,  for  I  saw  in  my  hats  and  bonnets, 
flour,  meat,  and  potatoes  for  my  children,  and  I  felt  hopeful, 
for  one  of  the  sisteis  had  assured  me  that  I  should  be  certain 
to  sell  them.  The  next  thing  to  do  was  to  advertise  my  stock. 
After  some  reflection,  I  remembered  another  of  the  sisters, 
who  was  quite  a  good  talker,  and  who  felt  very  kindly  towards 
me.  I  had  known  her  in  England — she  had  been  in  Utah 
about  three  years,  and  her  husband  had  by  that  time  been 
blessed  with  two  other  wives.  She  used  to  say  that  she  had 
no  patience  with  a  set  of  grumbling  women  who  did  not  know 
what  was  good  for  them.  I  do  not  think  that  the  blessed- 
ness enjoyed  by  her  husband  was  shared  by  the  two  wives, 
for  more  forlorn-looking  women  I  never  saw.  My  husband, 
however,  told  me  that  this  was  none  of  my  business,  and  I 
believed  him,  of  course,  after  the  fashion  of  all  good  wives. 

But  to  return.  This  good  sister,  besides  being  an  excellent 
talker,  had  really  nothing  else  to  do  besides  visiting  her  neigh- 
bors, for  the  other  wives  now  took  entire  charge  of  all  the 
household  duties.  So  I  made  her  a  present  of  a  new  bonnet, 
as  I  knew  that  then  in  two  days  my  goods  would  be  quite 
sufficiently  advertised  ;  and  in  this  I  was  not  mistaken. 

Almost  the  first  visitors  who  called  to  see  me  were  a  lady 
and  her  daughter.  I  talked  freely  to  her  and  answered  her 
enquiries,  and  she  told  me  that  she  herself  had  had  some 
experience  in  the  business.  "  In  Salt  Lake  City,"  she  said, 
"  I  think  you  will  not  be  able  to  sell  those  goods ;  they  are  too 
fashionable  for  the  people  here,  and  there  is  no  encouragement 
given  to  any  one  in  this  business.  I  am  afraid  you  will  be 

I  believed  every  word  she  said,  and  felt  all  my  airy,  hopeful 
castles  begin  to  crumble  away.  Before  she  left,  however,  she 
very  kindly  offered  to  purchase  all  my  goods  at  a  low  figure 

348  "I  don't  like  crving  women." 

and  thus  relieve  me  of  the  anxiety  and  trouble  of  selling  them. 
But  I  had  had  a  little  experience  in  the  world, — although  prob- 
ably I  appeared  to  her  somewhat  innocent, — and  I  thought 
that  if  she  could  sell  them,  there  was  a  chance  at  least  that  I 
also  might  be  able  to  do  so.  At-any-rate,  I  resolved  to  try, 
and  I  told  her  so  when  she  left  me  with  many  kind  wishes  for 
my  success.  But  what  she  had  said  during  her  visit  had 
chilled  my  enthusiasm,  and  I  pictured  all  my  pretty  newly- 
made  articles  becoming  soiled  and  faded,  with  no  one  to  buy 
them ;  while  the  little  ones,  barefooted — like  so  many  children 
in  Utah  then — were  running  about  crying  for  bread  which  I 
could  not  buy  them.  I  felt  bad,  and — if  I  must  confess  it — I 
sat  down  and  had  a  good  cry. 

Just  at  that  moment  I  heard  a  knock  at  the  door,  and 
hastily  drying  my  eyes,  I  opened  it,  and  there  stood  my  talk- 
ative friend. 

"  Stop  crying  !"  she  exclaimed,  "  What  is  the  matter,  my 
dear  .-*  Oh  do  stop  crying.  I  don't  like  crying  women  :  we 
see  so  many  of  them  among  the  Saints  of  God  that  it  is  really 
a  shame  and  a  disgrace.  Tell  me  what  is  the  matter  } 
Has  your  husband  got  another  wife,  or  are  you  afraid  that 
he  won't  be  able  to  get  one  .-*     Come,  tell  me  !" 

All  this  was  uttered  in  a  breath,  and  without  the  possibility 
of  my  putting  in  a  word  by  way  of  reply  or  remonstrance.  At 
last  I  told  her  that  I  had  just  had  a  visit  from  one  of  the 
sisters  and  her  daughter,  whom  I  described. 

"  I  know,"  she  said,  "  I  met  her  as  I  was  coming  here.  Do 
you  know  who  she  is  .-'" 

"  No,"  I  replied,  "  I  do  not  think  she  told  me  her  name  ;  she 
simply  came  to  look  at  the  goods." 

"  And  did  she  tell  you  that  they  would  sell  well,  and 
that  they  are  the  best  investment  that  you  could  have 
made  .''" 

"  Quite  the  contrary,"  I  said,  "  She  discouraged  me  so  much 
that  I  could  not  help  shedding  tears." 

"Well  now,"  she  answered,  "that  was  Mrs.  C ,  one 

of  our  milliners  here ;  and  you  suppose  she  was  going  to  en- 


courage  you  to  set  up  an  opposition  shop,  do  you  ?  If  you  do, 
why,  you've  got  something  yet  to  learn."  Indeed  I  felt  that  I 
had  got  a  great  deal  to  learn. 

"  Now  /  have  come  to  tell  you  quite  a  different  story,"  she 
said,  "This  very  afternoon  you  will  have  at  least  a  dozen  ladies 
here ;  and  ladies,  too,  who  have  got  the  money  to  pay  for  what 
they  have,  and  who  won't  pay  you  in  salt  chips  and  whet- 

"  Do  they  ever  pay  in  such  things  }"  I  enquired. 

"  Why  certainly  they  do.  That  is  the  kind  of  pay  that  the 
good  Saints  generally  expect  their  poor  brethren  and  sisters 
to  be  satisfied  with,  and  to  feed  their  hungry  children  upon. 
But  I  say  that  this  is  wrong.  Not  that  I  want  to  set  myself 
up  as  a  judge  in  Zion,  or  that  I  should  criticise  the  actions  of 
the  brethren — God  forbid !  But  when  I  see  the  rich  brethren 
grinding  the  faces  of  the  poor  in  that  way,  why,  I  say  that  it  is 
wrong.  But  you  must  not  take  any  such  pay  as  that.  You 
may  not  always  get  money,  but  you  can  at  least  get  flour, 
potatoes,  and  molasses.  Now,  I  tell  you  that  you  are  going  to 
sell  every  article  that  you  have  got,  and  I  shall  take  pleasure 
in  recommending  you  and  talking  about  it.  Why,  I've  been  to 
about  two  score  people  already  ; — but,  there  !  I  see  your  hus- 
band coming,  and  I  must  go  !"  My  husband,  indeed,  lans 
there.  He  was  not  very  fond  of  my  talkative  friend,  and 
passed  her  by  with  a  polite  salutation  only  ;  but  when  he  saw 
what  I  had  been  doing  the  light  dawned  upon  his  mind — he 
no  longer  wondered  what  had  become  of  the  dollars  in  New 
York,  and — astonished  at  my  success — he  congratulated  me 
upon  the  good  use  to  which  I  had  put  them. 

After  this  interview  I  felt  quite  encouraged,  and  I  very  soon 
found  that  my  friend's  predictions  were  correct.  I  had  no 
difficulty  in  selling,  and  I  created  quite  a  little  business, 
although  we  lived  a  considerable  distance  from  Main  Street. 
And  what  with  my  efforts,  and  some  employment  which 
my  husband  obtained,  we  contrived  to  get  through  our  first 
winter  in  Salt  Lake  City. 

But  I  anticipate. 


One  day  my  husband  informed  me  that  there  was  a  house 
about  to  be  vacated  shortly,  and  that  Brigham  Young  had  told 
him  we  had  better  take  it.  It  was  pleasantly  situated  near 
the  Tabernacle,  and,  as  houses  then  were,  it  was  quite  a  desir- 
able residence.  We  had  it  thoroughly  cleaned,  and  then 
moved  in.  When  I  arrived  in  the  evening  I  found  that  Mr. 
Stenhouse,  with  the  assistance  of  our  faithful  Swiss  girl,  had 
arranged  everything  as  the  goods  arrived  from  the  other 
house  ;  and  the  place  looked  so  clean,  and  there  was  such  a 
bright  fire  burning  that  I  felt  that  we  now  had  really  some- 
thing like  a  home,  and  my  heart  was  filled  with  gratitude. 

Soon  after  our  establishment  in  our  new  home,  Brigham 
sent  for  me  and  asked  me  to  make  a  handsome  bonnet  for  his 
then  favorite  wife  Emmeline.  He  left  it  entirely  to  my  taste ; 
I  was  to  make  just  what  I  pleased,  so  that  it  suited  her  and 
gave  satisfaction. 

I  made  my  bonnet  ;  and  when  I  presented  it,  Brigham 
Young  was  so  pleased  that  he  immediately  gave  me  an  order 
to  make  one  for  each  of  his  wives.  I  was  very  much  pleased  at 
this,  for  we  needed  furniture  and  many  other  necessaries  very 
badly,  and  I  thought  that  this  would  enable  me  to  get  them.  I 
expected,  of  course,  that  my  account  would  be  paid  in  money, 
for  I  did  not  suppose  that  the  Prophet  of  the  Lord  would 
offer  me  chips  or  whetstones  : — he  could  afford  to  pay  cash, 
and,  of  course,  would  do  so.  He  had  furnished  me  with  some 
material  out  of  his  own  store — for  Brigham  Young  had  a  dry- 
goods'  and  grocery  store  of  his  own  at  that  time — and  I  was 
to  furnish  the  remainder.  It  was  very  little  indeed  that  he 
supplied,  and  therefore  my  account  was  likely  to  amount  to  a 
considerable  sum,  for  almost  every  wife  had  at  least  one 
bonnet  which  she  wished  made  over  with  new  trimmings, 
besides  the  new  one. 

I  worked  constantly  for  three  weeks,  with  the  assistance  of 
two  girls,  to  each  of  whom  I  paid  six  dollars  a  week  besides 
board.  This  was  a  difificult  thing  for  me  to  do  at  that  time  in 
Utah,  for  money  was  seldom  seen  there  then  ;  but  I  was 
rejoicing  in  the  prospect  of  the   comfortable  new  furniture 

HOW    BRIGHAM    PAW    FOR    HIS    WIVES'    BONNETS !  351 

which  I  should  have  when  it  was  all  done.  Furniture  at  that 
time  was  very  expensive  ;  there  was  nothing  better  than  white 
pine  articles — stained  or  painted.  The  commonest  kind  of 
wooden  rocking-chair  cost  fifteen  dollars,  and  common  painted 
wooden  chairs  were  six  dollars  a  piece,  with  everything  else  in 
proportion.  This  being  our  first  winter,  we  had  not  been  able 
to  get  much,  and  I  thought  I  would  devote  the  proceeds  of 
the  work  I  was  doing  for  Brigham  to  fitting  up  the  house  a 
little  ;  and,  with  what  I  earned  from  my  other  customers, 
I  contrived  to  pay  my  help,  so  as  to  have  all  the  rest  clear. 

All  was  completed,  and  great  satisfaction  expressed  at  the 
result  of  my  labors.  So  I  asked  my  husband  to  present  my 
account  and,  if  possible,  get  it  settled — it  amounted  to  about 
two  hundred  and  seventy-five  dollars,  although  I  had  dealt 
very  liberally  with  the  Prophet,  and  had  charged  for  the  goods 
but  little  more  than  they  cost  me.  When  he  returned,  I 
hastened  to  meet  him,  for  I  had  partly  selected  the  furniture 
and  I  wanted  to  go  and  purchase  it.  But  I  was  like  poor  Per- 
rette,  the  milkmaid,  who  counted  her  chickens  a  little  too 
soon  ;  for  Mr.  Stenhouse  told  me  that  Brother  Brigham  had 
given  orders  that  the  amount  should  be  credited  to  us  for 
titJiing  !  What  a  shock  this  was  to  me  ;  for  that  sum,  small 
as  it  may  appear,  was  my  whole  fortune  at  the  time,  and  it 
was  gone  at  one  sweep  !  "  Can  it  be  possible,"  I  said,  "  that 
he  can  be  so  mean  as  that.'*  Where  can  his  conscience  be.-* 
or  has  he  any ;  to  deprive  me  of  my  hard  earnings  in  this 
way.     He  shall  not  do  it — I  will  make  him  pay  me." 

My  indignation  was  so  great  that  I  did  not  reflect  how 
imprudent  I  was  to  talk  thus  of  the  Prophet  of  the  Lord ;  but 
my  husband  said  :  "  What  can  you  do  ?  You  cannot  help 
yourself.  You  can  do  nothing  but  submit.  Let  us  try  to 
forget  it ;  or,  if  not,  it  will  perhaps  be  a  lesson  to  us."  But  I 
did  not  forget  it  and  never  could,  although  I  tried  very  hard  ; 
and  when  many  months  had  passed,  and  I  no  longer  suffered 
from  the  effects  of  my  loss.  I  still  remembered  it — and  I 
always  s/iall  remember  the  way  in  which  Brigham  paid  for  his 
wives'  bonnets. 



Saintly  Privileges — The  Origin  of  the  Endowments — The  Fraternity  of  the 
Saints — Story  of  the  Mysteries — Shocking  Doings  in  Days  Gone  By — Whis- 
perings of  Terrible  Deeds — How  the  Mormons  Mind  Their  Own  Business — 
The  Temple  Garments — Inside  the  Endowment  House — The  Book  of  Life — 
Our  Robes  and  Our  Oil  Bottles — The  Washings  and  Anointings — The  High- 
Priestess — Invoking  Blessings — The  Mysterious  Garment — A  New  Name — 
The  Garden  of  Eden — An  Extraordinary  Representation — The  Duplicate  of 
the  Devil — The  First  Degree — Terrible  and  Revengeful  Oaths — The  Punish- 
ment of  the  Apostate — Pains  and  Penalties  of  Betrayal — Grips  and  Pass- 
words— The  Mysterious  Mark — Singular  Apostolic  Sermon — The  Second 
Degree — Secret  and  Significant  Signs — Behind  the  Veil — The  Third  Degree 
— Celestial  Matrimony — Eight  Hours  of  "Mystery" — I  Justify  Myself.. 

NOT  many  weeks  after  our  arrival  in  Salt  Lake  City,  my 
husband  told  me  that  we  might  now  enjoy  the  privilege 
of  going  through  the  Endowment  House. 

This  was  intended  as  a  great  favor  to  ns,  on  the  part  of  the 
authorities,  for  most  people  have  to  wait  a  long  while  before 
receiving  their  Endowments ;  but  my  husband's  influence 
and  position  in  the  Church  was,  I  presume,  the  reason  why 
we  were  admitted  so  soon. 

Now,  I  had  heard  so  much  of  the  Endowments  and  the 
Endowment  House  that  I  quite  dreaded  to  pass  through  this 
ordeal.  The  idea  of  the  whole  ceremony  was,  that  thereby  we 
should  receive  the  special  grace  of  God ;  be  united — man  and 


woman — making  one  perfect  creature ;  receive  our  inherit- 
ance as  children  of  God  ;  and,  in  fact,  be  made  partakers  of 
the  plenitude  of  every  blessing. 

All  this  sounds  very  well  as  a  statement,  but  it  is  only  the 
statement  which  would  be  made  from  the  ideal  Mormon 
standpoint.  I  had  heard  other  things  about  the  Endowments 
which  did  not  present  such  a  favorable  impression,  and 
although  I  do  not  wish  to  record  all  the  absurd  stories  which 
were,  and  are,  current  among  the  Gentiles,  I  think  it  only 
right  that  I  should  state  what  my  own  views  were  before  we 
received  our  privileges. 

Joseph  Smith,  the  Prophet,  and  very  many  of  his  early 
associates  belonged  to  the  ancient  and  honorable  order  of 
Freemasons.  When  he  was  initiated  into  the  mysteries  of 
that  society,  and  what  position  he  attained  therein,  I  do  not 
know ;  but  one  thing  is  certain,  that  when  he,  under  the 
influence  of  his  own  peculiar  religious  fanaticism,  endeavored 
to  engraft  upon  Freemasonry  some  of  the  leading  ideas  of  the 
new  religion,  he  and  those  connected  with  him  were  publicly 
disavowed  by  the  lodges  in  the  West.  I  cannot  without  some 
trouble  give  here  any  documentary  evidence,  but  I  may  be 
permitted,  perhaps,  to  state  that  I  have  myself  seen  newspapers 
of  that  period — and  the  West  then  was  a  very  primitive 
country — which  contained  formal  official  declarations  duly 
signed  by  respectable  persons,  stating  that  Joseph  Smith  and 
others  were  no  longer  to  be  considered  in  fellowship  with  any 
of  the  Western  lodges. 

The  idea  of  a  bond  of  brotherhood — secret  and  indissoluble 
— seems  ever  to  have  been  present  in  Joseph's  mind.  Whether 
the  germ  of  this  idea  was  derived  from  Masonry,  or  not,  is  of 
little  moment.  Gentlemen  who  certainly  ought  to  know  have 
assured  me  that  such  a  notion  was  altogether  ridiculous  ;  but 
of  that,  as  a  lady,  I  am,  of  course,  not  competent  to  judge.  It 
is,  however,  quite  clear  that  the  clannish  or  fraternal  spirit 
among  the  Mormons  has  always  pre-eminently  distinguished 
them,  and  is  just  as  noticeable  at  the  present  day  as  it  was  in 
Joseph's  time. 

354  THE    MORMON    IDEA    OF    LEGAL    MARRL\GE. 

It  has  always  been  commonly  reported,  and  to  a  great 
extent  believed,  that  the  mysteries  of  the  Endowment  House 
were  only  a  sort  of  imitation — burlesque,  it  might  be — of  the 
rites  of  Masonry  ;  but  I  need  hardly  say  that  this  statement 
when  examined  by  the  light  of  facts  is  altogether  ungrounded 
and  absurd,  as  the  reader  will  presently  perceive.  Still,  the 
notion  that  some  deeply  mysterious  ceremony  was  celebrated 
by  the  initiated  has  always  possessed  a  charm  to  Gentile  as 
well  as  Mormon  minds,  and  the  most  extravagant  statements 
have  been  made  in  reference  to  the  Endowment  House  ; — in 
fact,  to  such  an  extent  has  this  been  the  case,  that  most,  if  not 
all,  of  the  Saints  who  have  passed  through  the  House  have 
looked  forward  to  the  period  of  their  initiation  as  a  most 
impressive  and  painful  ordeal,  and  the  influence  of  this  feeling 
I  myself  fully  realised. 

I  knew  well  that  no  marriage  was  considered  binding  unless 
it  had  been  celebrated  in  that  place.  I  knew  that  the  Samts, 
however  long  they  might  have  been  wedded,  were  under  the 
necessity  of  being  reunited  there  before  they  could  be  con- 
sidered lawfully  married  and  their  children  legitimate.  Accord- 
ing to  the  highest  Mormon  Authority  no  marriage  is  valid 
unless  the  ceremony  is  performed  in  the  Temple.  The 
Temple  is  not  yet  built,  and  as  Joseph,  the  Prophet  said,  "  No 
fellow  can  be  damned  for  doing  the  best  he  knows  how,"  the 
Saints  meanwhile  do  "  the  next  best  thing,"  and  are  married 
in  the  Endowment  House.  I  knew  that  there  and  then  the 
faithful  were  said  to  be  "endowed"  with  their  heavenly 
inheritance.  I  saw  how  absolutely  needful  it  was  that  my 
husband  and  myself  should  become  partakers  of  those  mys- 
teries ;  but  I  was  influenced  by  the  strange  stories  which  I 
had  heard  of  unhallowed  and  shameful  doings  in  that  same 
Endowment  House,  and  consequently  I  feared  to  enter  in. 

My  fears  were  not,  however,  altogether  groundless  or 
visionary.  It  has  been  whispered — falsely  perhaps — that  m 
that  Endowment  House  scenes  have  been  enacted  so  fearful 
that  words  would  falter  on  the  lips  of  those  who  told  the  tale 
concerning:  them.     I  have  heard  of  such  things  from  men  of 


integrity  and  honor ;  but  they  were  not  eye-witnesses  of 
what  they  related,  and  they  could  not,  or  would  not,  give  me 
their  authorities.  One  thing  I  am  certain  of  ; — if  such  hor- 
rible deeds  were  ever  perpetrated  within  those  walls  there 
remains  no  living  witness  to  testify  of  them.  The  lips  of 
who  alone  coulcl  tell  the  whole  truth  are  sealed  in  silence 
which  the  trump  of  doom  alone  shall  break. 

When  I  refer  the  reader  to  what  I  have  already  spoken  of 
the  Blood-Atonement,  and  of  the  "  Reformation,"  I  think  that 
that  plain  statement  of  facts  renders  it  clear  to  any  ordinary 
intellio-ence,  that,  if  in  the  Endowment  House  no  such  deeds 
of  darkness  were  ever  perpetrated,  it  was  not  because  such 
things  were  contrary  to  the  spirit  of  Mormonism  as  taught  by 
Brigham  Young  and  the  Apostles,  nor  was  it  because  such 
things  had  never  been  done  with  the  full  approbation  of  the 
leaders  of  the  Church,  but  on  account  of  some  accidental 
reason,  into  which  it  is  needless  to  enquire. 

It  was,  of  course,  no  fear  of  any  personal  violence  or  any 
painful  disclosures  in  that  respect  that  made  me  reluctant  to 
receive  my  Endowments,  for  at  that  time  I  was  by  profession 
apparently  a  good  Mormon  ; — if   I  had  my  doubts  and  mis- 
o-ivings,  I  had  them  in  common  with  nine-tenths  of  the  Mor- 
mon women,  and  had  therefore  nothing  to  fear.     The  true 
cause  of  my  reluctance  was  of  a  more  delicate  and  personal 
nature.    I  had  been  informed  that,  if  I  refused  to  go,  ray  husband 
could  not  go  alone,  he  would  be  compelled  to  take  another  wife 
and  go  with  her.     This  was  not  all.     I  found  that  it  was  quite 
common  for  the  Elders  to  take  a  second  wife  when  they  took 
their  first  Endowments,  and  thus,  as  they  coarsely  expressed 
it,  "  kill  two  birds  with  one  s'tone."     Moreover,  I  had  heard  of 
men  who  feared  to  introduce  Polygamy  into  their  households, 
presenting  to  their  wives,  while  going  through  the,  House,  a 
young  girl  as  their  intended  bride,  feeling  sure  that  the  wife 
would  not  dare  to  make  a  scene  before  the  Assembly.     How 
could  I  know  that  my  husband  also  had  not  such  an  idea  in  his 
mind }     True,  I  trusted  him  implicitly,  and  did  not  believe  it 
possible  that  he  could  deceive  me.     But  had  not  men  who 



were  universally  known  for  their  integrity  and  honor  acted  in 
the  same  way  to  tJieir  wives  ;  and  with  so  many  evidences  of 
the  best  and  most  honest  natures  being  corrupted  by  the 
unrighteous  teachings  of  their  religion,  could  I  be  blamed  for 
doubting  him  whom  I  loved  best  ?  Wives  out  of  Utah  doubt 
their  own  husbands,  and  very  frequently  have  the  best  of 
reasons  for  doing  so,  but  what  woman,  other  than  a  Mormon, 
ever  lived  in  constant  dread  that  her  husband,  who  she  knew 
was  devotedly  attached  to  her,  would  do  to  her  the  cruellest 
wrong  that  man  can  inflict  and  woman  can  endure,  for  the 
sake  of  his  religion  and  in  the  holy  Saviour's  name  ? 

My  mind  was  agitated  by  conflicting  thoughts.  Sometimes 
fear  and  apprehension,  sometimes  indignation  and  hatred 
would  make  me  feel  perfectly  reckless.  Then  love  to  my 
husband,  and  thoughts  of  our  little  ones  calmed  my  troubled 
mind,  and  I  was  tranquil,  until  excited  by  some  injury  which  I 
witnessed,  when  once  more  brooding  over  the  cruel  wrongs 
which,  in  God's  name,  had  been  inflicted  upon  the  women  of 
Utah,  my  anger  would  revive  again. 

There  was  also  another  reason  why  I  particularly  objected 
to  passing  through  the  Endowment  House.  I  had  been  told 
many  strange  and  revolting  stories  about  the  ceremonies  which 
were  there  performed,  for  it  is  said  that  in  the  Nauvoo  Temple 
the  most  disgraceful  things  were  done.  About  what  was  done 
at  Nauvoo  I  can  say  nothing,  as  it  was  before  my  time,  but 
still  it  is  only  fair  to  say,  that  people  who  in  every  other  rela- 
tion in  life  I  should  have  deemed  most  reliable  and  trustworthy 
were  my  informants  respecting  those  strange  stories.  Of  the 
Endowments  in  Utah  I  can,  of  course,  speak  more  positively, 
as  I  myself  passed  through  them;  and  I  wish  to  say  most  dis- 
tinctly that,  although  the  initiation  of  the  Saints  into  "The 
Kingdom,"  appears  now  to  my  mind  as  a  piece  of  the  most 
ridiculous  absurdity,  there  was  nevertheless  nothing  in  it  in- 
decent or  immoral ; — of  which  the  reader  himself  shall  pres- 
ently be  the  judge. 

It  is  an  invariable  rule  among  the  Mormons,  as  I  have  before 
intimated,  for  every  man  or  woman  to  mind  his  or  her  own  busi- 

WHY    THE    SECRET    IS    KEPT.  35/ 

ness,  and  nothing  else.  In  this  respect  they  certainly  present 
a  good  example  to  the  Gentile  world.  Thus  it  was,  that  until 
I  myself  went  through  the  Endowments,  I  was  totally  ignorant 
of  what  they  were  ;  although,  of  course,  so  many  people  with 
whom  I  had  daily  intercourse  could  so  easily  have  enlightened 
me  if  they  had  been  thus  minded.  With  apostates,  I,  of  course, 
had  nothing  to  do  ;  and,  had  it  been  otherwise,  it  is  most  prob- 
able that  they  would  have  been  so  much  ashamed  of  the  folly 
of  the  whole  performance  that  they  would  not  have  spoken 
explicitly  about  it.  Besides  this,  every  Mormon's  mouth  was 
closed  by  the  oath  of  that  same  Endowment  House — the 
penalty  of  breaking  which  was  death — a  penalty  which  no  one 
doubted  would  be  sternly  enforced.  Thus,  totally  in  the  dark, 
and  remembering  only  the  strange  stories  told  about  "  wash- 
ings "  and  "  anointings "  and  an  imitation  of  the  Garden  of 
Eden,  with  Adam  and  Eve  clothed  in  their  own  innocence 
alone,  it  can  be  no  wonder  that  any  modest  woman  should  wish 
to  evade  all  participation  in  such  scenes. 

I  spoke  to  my  husband  about  it,  and  he  tried  to  reassure  me, 
but  what  he  said  had  rather  a  contrary  effect. 

Before  we  left  England,  when  speaking  of  these  ceremonies, 
my  husband  told  me  that  they  were  simply  a  privilege  and  a  mat- 
ter of  choice.  But  what  a  choice ! .  I  might  go  or  refuse  to 
go ;  but,  if  I  refused,  he  must — if  he  went  through  it  all — take 
another  wife  in  my  place — and,  as  I  knew,  there  would  be  no 
difficulty  in  finding  one.  I  should  in  consequence  be  known  as 
a  rebellious  woman ;  annoyance  and  indignity  would  be  heaped 
upon  me  ;  while  within  my  own  home  I  should  be  compelled 
to  occupy  the  position  of  second  wife — as  the  one  who  is 
married  first  in  the  Endowment  House  is  considered  the  first 
wife  and  has  the  control  of  everything.  My  husband  told 
me  that  now  he  was  most  anxious  to  go  : — he  had  already  been 
notified  three  times  that  such  was  his  privilege,  and  there  were, 
he  said,  good  reasons  why  we  ought  gladly  to  accept  the  op- 
portunity. It  was  an  honor,  he  said,  for  which  many  people 
had  waited  for  years. 

My  husband  reminded  me  that  we  had  been  married  by  a 

358  THE   TEMPLE    ROBES. 

Gentile  and  while  living  among  Gentiles,  and  that — as  I  said 
before — our  marriage  was  not  valid,  and  our  children  were 
not  legitimate.  Only  those  children  of  ours  who  were  bom 
after  the  ceremony  in  the  Endowment  House  would  be  legiti- 
mate,— the  others  were  outcasts  from  the  "  Kingdom  "  unless 
we  adopted  them  after  our  initiation,  and  thus  made  them 
heirs.  In  any  case,  poor  children  !  they  could  never  be  con- 
sidered the  real  heirs — they  could  only  be  "  heirs  by  adoption." 

So  I  agreed  to  go,  trying  to  persuade  myself  that  it  was  a 
sacred  duty ;  for  although  my  faith  in  Mormonism  had  been 
roughly  shaken,  I  still  believed  that  its  origin  was  divine. 

As  we  had  been  but  a  few  weeks  in  Utah  we  had  not  pre- 
pared our  "  Temple  garments,"  not  thinking  that  we  should  be 
called  upon  so  soon  to  go  through.  We  had  therefore  to  bor- 
row, as  most  people  do,  for  the  occasion. 

The  Temple  robe,  which  is  a  long,  loose,  flowing  garment, 
made  of  white  linen  or  bleached  muslin,  and  reaching  to  the 
ancle,  had  been  placed  upon  us  just  before  we  took  the  oaths. 
It  was  gathered  to  a  band  about  twelve  inches  long,  which 
rested  on  the  right  shoulder,  passed  across  the  breast,  and  came 
together  under  the  left  arm,  and  was  then  fastened  by  a  linen 
belt.  This  leaves  the  left  arm  entirely  free.  The  veil  consists 
of  a  large  square  of  Swiss  muslin,  gathered  in  one  corner  so 
as  to  form  a  sort  of  cap  to  fit  the  head ;  the  remainder  falls 
down  as  a  veil.  The  men  wear  the  same  kind  of  under  gar- 
ment as  the  women,  and  their  robes  are  the  same,  but  their 
head-dress  is  a  round  piece  of  linen  drawn  up  with  a  string 
and  a  bow  in  front,  something  after  the  fashion  of  a  Scotch 
cap.  All  good  Mormons,  after  they  have  received  their  first 
Endowments,  get  whole  suits  of  Temple  robes  made  on  pur- 
pose for  them  so  that  they  may  be  ready  for  use  at  any  time 
when  they  are  needed.  All  marriages  in  the  Endowment 
House  are  performed  in  these  robes,  and  in  them  all  Saints 
who  have  received  their  Endowments  are  buried.  Besides  our 
robes  we  were  instructed  to  take  with  us  a  bottle  of  the  best 
olive  oil. 

At  seven  o'clock  in  the  morning  of  the  day  appointed,  we 


presented  ourselves  at  the  door  of  the  Endowment  House,  and 
were  admitted  by  Brother  Lyon,  the  Mormon  poet.  Every- 
thing within  was  beautifully  neat  and  clean,  and  a  solemn 
silence  pervaded  the  whole  place.  The  only  sound  that  could 
be  heard  was  the  splashing  of  water,  but  whence  the  sound 
proceeded  we  could  not  see.  In  spite  of  myself,  a  feeling  of 
dread  and  uncertainty  respecting  what  I  had  to  go  through 
would  steal  over  my  mind,  and  I  earnestly  wished  that  the  day 
was  over. 

We  waited  patiently  for  a  little  while,  and  presently  a  man 
entered  and  seated  himself  at  a  table  placed  there  for  that  pur- 
pose, upon  which  was  a  large  book.  He  opened  the  book,  and 
then  calling  each  person  in  turn,  he  took  their  names  and  ages 
and  the  names  of  their  fathers  and  mothers,  and  carefully  en- 
tered each  particular  in  the  book.  Our  bottles  of  oil  were 
then  taken  from  us,  and  we  were  supposed  to  be  ready  for  the 

First  we  were  told  to  take  off  our  shoes  and  leave  them  in 
the  ante-room,  and  then  to  take  up  our  bundles  and  pass  into 
another  room  beyond.  This  was  a  large  bath-room  which  was 
divided  down  the  middle  by  a  curtain  of  heavy  material  placed 
there  for  the  purpose  of  separating  the  men  from  the  women. 
Here  my  husband  left  me — he  going  to  the  men's  and  I  to  the 
women's  division.  In  the  bath-room  were  two  or  three  large 
bathing  tubs  supplied  by  streams  of  hot  and  cold  water.  We 
were  as  much  concealed  from  the  men  as  if  wc  had  been  in  an 
entirely  separate  room,  and  everything  was  very  quiet  and 

Miss  Eliza  R.  Snow,  the  poetess,  and  a  Mrs.  Whitney,  were 
the  officiating  attendants  on  that  occasion.  The  former  con- 
ducted me  to  one  of  the  bathing  tubs,  and  placing  me  in  it,  she 
proceeded  to  wash  me  from  the  crown  of  my  head  to  the  soles 
of  my  feet.  As  she  did  this  she  repeated  various  formulas  to 
the  effect  that  I  was  now  washed  clean  from  the  blood  of  this 
generation  and  should  never,  if  I  remained  faithful,  be  partaker 
in  the  plagues  and  miseries  which  were  about  to  come  upon 
the  earth.     When  I  had  thus  been  washed  clean,  she  wiped 


me  dry,  and  then  taking  a  large  horn  filled  with  the  olive  oil 
which  we  had  brought,  she  anointed  me.  The  oil  was  poured 
from  the  horn  by  Mrs.  Whitney  into  the  hand  of  Eliza  Snow, 
who  then  applied  it  to  me.  The  horn  was  said  to  be  the  horn 
of  plenty  which,  like  the  widow's  cruse  of  oil,  would  never  fail 
as  long  as  the  ordinance  should  continue  to  be  administered. 
In  addition  to  the  crown  of  my  head,  my  eyes,  ears  and  mouth 
were  also  anointed  ;  my  eyes  that  they  might  be  quick  to  see, 
my  ears  that  they  might  be  apt  at  hearing,  and  my  mouth  that 
I  might  with  wisdom  speak  the  words  of  eternal  life.  She 
also  anointed  my  feet,  that  they  might  be  swift  to  run  in  the 
ways  of  the  Lord.  I  was  then  given  a  certain  garment  to 
put  on. 

Now  this  garment  is  one  peculiar  to  the  Mormon  people. 
It  is  made  so  as  to  envelop  the  whole  body  and  it  is  worn 
night  and  day.  I  was  told  that  after  having  once  put  it  on,  I 
must  never  wholly  take  it  off  before  putting  on  another,  but 
that  I  should  change  one  half  at  a  time,  and  that  if  I  did  so 
I  should  be  protected  from  disease  and  even  from  death  itself ; 
for  the  bullet  of  an  enemy  would  not  penetrate  that  garment, 
and  that  from  it  even  the  dagger's  point  should  be  turned 
aside.  It  has  been  said  that  the  Prophet  Joseph  carelessly 
left  off  this  peculiar  garment  on  the  day  of  his  death,  and  that 
had  he  not  done  so  the  rifles  of  his  assassins  would  have  been 
harmless  against  him. 

When  thus  arrayed,  I  proceeded  to  put  on  a  white  night- 
dress and  skirt,  stockings,  and  white  linen  shoes.  A  new  name 
was  then  whispered  into  my  ear,  which  I  was  told  I  must  never 
mention  to  any  living  soul  except  my  husband  in  the  Endow- 
ment House.  This  name  was  taken  from  the  Bible,  and  I  was 
given  to  understand  that  it  would  be  the  name  whereby  I 
should  be  admitted  into  the  celestial  kingdom.  This  was  of 
course  very  gratifying.  A  circumstance,  however,  occurred 
which  took  from  me  all  the  pride  which  might  have  been  mine 
in  the  possession  of  a  new  name.  There  was  among  our  num- 
ber a  deaf  woman  ;  Mrs.  Whitney  had  to  tell  her  her  name 
once  or  twice  over,  loud  enough  for  me  to  hear,  and  thus  I 


round  that  her  new  name,  as  well  as  mine,  was  Sarah.  To 
make  the  matter  worse,  another  sister  whispered  :  "  Why  that 
is  my  name  too. "  This  entirely  dispelled  any  enthusiasm 
which  otherwise  I  might  have  felt.  I  could  well  understand 
that  I  might  yet  become  a  Sarah  in  Israel,  but  if  we  all  were 
Sarahs,  there  would  not  be  much  distinction  or  honor  in  being 
called  by  that  name.  As  a  matter  of  course  I  supposed  that 
the  men  would  all  become  Abrahams. 

Our  washing  and  anointed  being  now  over,  we  were  ready 
for  the  initiation — there  were  about  fifteen  couples  in  all. 

A  voice  from  behind  the  curtain  asked  Miss  Snow  if  we 
were  ready,  and  was  answered  in  the  afifirmative.  We  were 
then  arranged  in  a  row,  the  curtain  was  drawn  aside,  and  we 
stood  face  to  face  with  the  men  who  had,  of  course,  on  their 
side  of  the  curtain  been  put  through  the  same  ordeal.  I  felt 
dreadfully  nervous,  for  I  did  not  know  what  was  coming  next, 
and  I  could  not  quite  dismiss  from  my  mind  the  stories  that  I 
had  heard  about  these  mysteries.  But  in  spite  of  my  ner- 
vousness, curiosity  was  strong  in  me  at  that  moment — as  it 
was,  I  suppose,  in  the  others  ;  for,  as  soon  as  the  curtain  was 
drawn  aside,  we  all  cast  our  eyes  in  the  direction  of  the  men. 
They,  as  might  be  expected,  were  looking  in  our  direction,  and 
when  I  beheld  them,  I  must  say  that  my  sympathies  were 
drawn  out  towards  the  poor  creatures.  However  little  vanity 
or  personal  pride  they  possessed,  they  must  have  felt  it 
unpleasant  to  have  to  appear  in  the  presence  of  ladies  in  such 
a  dress  —  or  rather  ////dress  ;  and  notwithstanding  the  solemn 
meaning  of  the  ceremony,  there  was  just  the  ghost  of  a  smile 
upon  our  faces  as  we  looked  at  each  other  and  dropped  our 
eyes  again.  To  any  one  who  did  not  feel  as  we  did  the  reli- 
gious nature  of  the  initiation,  the  scene  must  have  appeared 
perfectly  ludicrous.  In  fact,  some  of  us  felt  it  so.  One  sister, 
just  as  the  curtain  was  drawn  up  and  we  came  in  full  view  of 
our  lords,  cried  out:  "Oh  dear,  oh  dear,  where  shall  I  go.-* 
What  shall  I  do.'"  This,  as  may  be  supposed,  caused  a  laugh 
which  was,  of  course,  immediately  suppressed. 

We  could  see  how  the  men  looked,  but  of  our  own  appear- 


ance  we  could  not  so  easily  judge.  Certainly,  we  must  nave 
looked  anything  but  handsome  in  our  white  garments  and 
with  the  oil  trickling  down  our  faces  and  into  our  eyes,  making 
them  smart  and  look  red.  There  was  nothing,  however,  for 
us  to  do  but  to  submit  quietly  and  make  the  best  of  it  we 
could.  Ashamed  as  I  was,  I  thought  I  might  venture  to  look 
at  my  husband — there  could  be  no  harm  in  that;  —  but  when 
I  saw  his  demure-looking  countenance  and  his  efforts  to  keep 
his  clothing  in  order,  I  thought  I  should  be  compelled  to  laugh 
outright,  for  I  could  see  that  his  thoughts  were  more  occupied 
about  his  personal  appearance  than  with  the  solemnity  of  the 
occasion.  The  men  were  all  dressed  in  the  same  kind  of  gar- 
ment as  the  women: — drawers  and  shirt  all  in  one — very 
much  like  those  which  are  used  for  children  to  sleep  in — 
and  over  that  an  ordinary  white  shirt,  such  as  men  always 
wear; — that,  with  socks  and  white  linen  shoes,  completed  their 

Clad  after  this  interesting  fashion,  we  sat  opposite  to  each 
other  for  several  minutes,  and  then  my  husband  and  myself 
were  instructed  to  come  forward  and  kneel  at  the  altar  while 
all  the  rest  remained  standing.  It  is  the  custom  thus  to  select 
two  persons,  and  we  were  either  picked  out  by  chance,  or  it 
might  be,  as  my  husband  was  thought  a  good  deal  of  by  the 
authorities,  that  they  considered  he  would  feel  honored  by  the 

Suddenly  a  voice  was  heard  speaking  to  some  one,  who  also 
replied.  This  voice  from  the  unseen  was  supposed  to  be  thie 
voice  of  Elohim  in  conversation  with  Jehovah,  and  the  words 
that  were  used  were  much  the  same  as  those  contained  in  the 
first  chapter  of  the  book  of  Genesis  describing  the  creation 
of  the  world.  Finally,  Jehovah  and  Elohim  declare  their 
intention  to  come  down  and  visit  the  earth.  This  they  do, 
and  pronounce  all  that  they  behold  very  good ;  but  they  declare 
that  it  is  necessary  that  one  of  a  higher  order  of  intelligence 
than  the  brute  creation  should  be  placed  in  the  world  to 
govern  and  control  all  else. 

Michael  the  Archangel  is  now  called,  and  he  is  placed  upon 


the  earth  under  the  name  of  Adam,  and  power  is  given  him 
over  all  the  beasts  of  the  field,  the  fowls  O'f  the  air,  and  the 
fishes  of  the  sea.  Moreover  the  fruits  of  the  earth  are  all 
given  to  him  for  his  sustenance  and  pleasure,  but  he  is  strictly 
charged,  as  in  Bible-story,  not  to  eat  of  one  particular  tree 
which  stands  in  the  midst  of  the  garden.  This  tree  is  repre- 
sented by  a  small  real  evergreen,  and  a  few  bunches  of  dried 
raisins  are  hung  upon  it  as  fruit. 

It  is  now  discovered  that  it  is  not  good  for  man  to  be  alone; 
Elohim  and  Jehovah,  therefore,  hold  another  conversation 
upon  that  subject,  and  they  finally  determine  to  give  a  com- 
panion to  Adam.  They,  therefore,  cause  a  deep  sleep  to  fall 
upon  Michael  —  or  Adam  as  he  is  now  called  —  and  they  pre- 
pare to  operate  upon  him.  Here  we  were  all  instructed  to 
assume  the  attitude  of  deep  sleep  by  dropping  our  heads  upon 
our  breasts.  Elohim  and  Jehovah  then  came  down  and  go 
through  the  motions  of  removing  a  rib  from  the  side  of  the 
sleeper,  which  said  rib  appears  immediately  upon  the  scene  in 
the  person  of  Eliza  R.  Snow.  Elohim  and  Jehovah  are  gen- 
erally represented  by  two  of  the  Twelve  Apostles.  When 
Brigham  is  present  he  plays  a  prominent  part. 

And  now  the  devil  makes  his  appearance  in  the  person  of 
W.  W.  Phelps,  Phelps  used  always  to  personate  the  devil  in 
the  endowments,  and  the  role  suited  him  admirably.  He  is 
dead  now,  but  whether  it  has  made  any  difference  in  his  status, 
I  cannot  tell,  nor  do  I  know  who  has  succeeded  him  in  his 
office.  The  devil  wears  a  very  tight-fitting  suit  of  black  mus- 
lin, with  knee  breeches  and  black  stockings  and  slippers.  This 
dress  had  all  the  appearance  of  a  theatrical  costume,  and  the 
man  himself  looked  as  much  like  one  might  imagine  the  devil 
would  look,  as  he  possibly  could.  He  began  by  trying  to 
scrape  acquaintance  with  Eve,  whom  he  meets  while  taking  a 
walk  in  the  garden.  The  innocent,  unsuspecting  woman  is 
fascinated  by  his  attentions.  Father  Adam  —  who  seems  to 
have  had  a  touch  of  the  Mormon  about  him  —  perhaps  was  not 
the  most  attentive  of  husbands ;  or  he  may  have  fallen  into 
the  same  error  into  which  many  of  his  sons  have  fallen  since 


—  neglecting  to  pay  the  same  attentions  after  marriage  as  he 
was  wont  to  before — and  left  his  young  wife  to  the  mercy  of 
the  tempter.  However  that  may  be,  Satan  and  Eve  are  soon 
discovered  in  conversation  together,  and  Eve  appears  to  be 
particularly  pleased  with  Satan.  At  length  he  offers  her  some 
of  the  fruit  of  the  forbidden  tree,  and  after  some  little  demur 
she  accepts  it  and  eats  thereof. 

Then  the  devil  leaves  her,  Adam  makes  his  appearance,  and 
Eve  persuades  him  also  to  eat  of  the  fruit  of  the  tree.  After 
this  they  make  a  dumb  show  of  perceiving  their  condition, 
and  an  apron  of  white  linen  is  produced,  on  which  are  sewn 
pieces  of  green  silk,  in  imitation  of  fig  leaves,  and  in  these  they 
both  attire  themselves. 

Then  all  the  brethren  and  sisters  produced  similar  aprons 
which  they  had  brought  with  them  on  purpose,  and  these  they 
put  on,  as  Adam  and  Eve  had  already  done.  Elohim  now 
appeared  again,  and  called  Adam  ;  but  Adam  was  afraid,  and 
hid  himself  in  the  garden  with  Eve.  The  curse  was  now  pro- 
nounced upon  the  serpent — the  devil — who  reappears  upon 
his  hands  and  knees,  making  a  hissing  noise  as  one  might  sup- 
pose a  serpent  would  do.  We  were  then  all  driven  out  of  the 
Garden  of  Eden,  into  another  room  which  represented  the 
world  ; — and  this  ended  the  "  First  Degree." 

We  were  now  supposed  to  be  out  in  the  world,  earning  our 
daily  bread  by  the  sweat  of  our  brows,  and  we  were  informed 
that  although  we  had  been  driven  out  from  the  presence  of  the 
Lord,  yet  a  plan  of  salvation  would  be  devised  for  us,  by 
which  we  should  be  enabled  to  return  to  our  first  estate. 
We  were  to  wait  patiently  until  this  plan  should  be  disclosed 
to  us. 

There  was  here  such  a  mixture  of  persons  and  events  that 
I  could  not  exactly  follow  the  idea  that  was  intended  to  be 
conveyed, — if  there  was  any  idea  at  all.  Men  representing  the 
ancient  prophets  entered,  and  gave  instructions  to  the  people  to 
prepare  themselves  for  the  first  coming  of  our  Saviour  upon 
earth.  Then  we  were  taught  certain  pass-words  and  grips  ; 
and   then   we   were   all   arranged  in   a   circle.     The  women 


covered  their  faces  with  their  veils,  and  we  all  kneeled  down, 
and,  with  our  right  hands  uplifted  towards  heaven,  we*  took  the 
solemn  oath  of  obedience  and  secrecy.  We  swore  that  by 
every  means  in  our  power  we  would  seek  to  avenge  the  death 
of  Joseph  Smith,  the  Prophet,  upon  the  Gentiles  who  had 
caused  his  murder,  and  that  we  would  teach  our  children  to 
do  so  ; — we  swore,  that  without  murmur  or  questioning,  we 
would  implicitly  obey  the  commands  of  the  priesthood  in 
everything  ; — we  swore  that  we  would  not  commit  adultery — 
which  was  explained  to  mean  the  taking  of  wives  without  the 
permission  of  the  holy  Priesthood  ; — and  we  swore  that  we 
•would  never,  under  any  circumstances,  reveal  that  which  trans- 
pired in  the  Endowment  House. 

The  penalty  for  breaking  this  oath,  which  was  worded  in 
the  most  startling  and  impressive  way,  was  then  explained  to 
us. — The  throat  of  the  traitor  was  to  be  cut  from  ear  to  ear  ; 
his  heart  and  tongue  were  to  be  cut  out  ;  and  his  bowels 
were — while  he  was  yet  living — to  be  torn  from  him.  In 
the  world  to  come,  everlasting  damnation  would  be  his 

Let  not  the  reader  think  that  this  was  merely  an  imaginary 
penalty,  or  that  it  was  expressed  merely  for  the  purpose  of 
frightening  the  weak-minded,  for  I  have  already  shown  that 
punishments  quite  as  horrible  as  that  have  been  deliberately 
meted  out  to  the  Apostate,  the  Gentile,  and  the  suspected 
Saint  by  the  Mormon  Priesthood.  The  innocent  blood  which 
cries  for  vengeance  against  Brigham  Young  and  some  of  the 
leaders  of  the  Church  is  sufficient  to  weigh  the  purest  spirit 
which  stands  before  the  throne  of  God  down  to  the  nether- 
most abysses  of  hell. 

After  these  fearful  oaths  had  been  taken,  with  due  solem- 
nity, we  were  instructed  in  the  various  signs  representing 
those  dreadful  penalties  ;  and  we  were  also  given  a  "  grip " 
peculiar  to  this  degree. 

*  I  myself  made  a  movement  with  my  hand — for  I  believed  that  my  life  was 
at  stake  and  I  dared  not  do  otherwise.  The  words  of  the  oath  I  did  not  utter. 
[See  explaaation  at  the  end  of  the  chapter.] 

366  THE    MYSTERIES    OF    THE    "SECOND    DEGREE." 

We  were  next  entertained  by  a  long  address  from  the 
Apostle  Heber  C.  Kimball.  Never  in  my  life — except  from 
Brigham  Young — had  I  listened  to  such  disgusting  language, 
and  I  trust  I  never  shall  be  compelled  to  listen  to  anything 
like  it  again.  Brother  Kimball  always  used  to  pride  himself 
upon  usnig  "  plain  "  language,  but  that  day  I  think  he  sur- 
passed himself  ;  he  seemed  to  take  quite  a  pleasure  in  saying 
anything  which  could  make  us  blush.  The  subject  of  which 
he  discoursed  was  the  married  life  in  the  "  Celestial  Order  ;" 
he  also  laid  great  stress  upon  the  necessity  of  our  keeping 
silence  concerning  all  that  we  had  witnessed  in  the  Endow- 
ment House — even  husbands  to  their  wives,  and  wives  to  their 
husbands  were  not  to  utter  a  single  word.  With  the  sermon 
ended  our  "  Second  Descree." 

We  were  now  taken  to  another  room  for  the  purpose  of  pas- 
sing through  the  "  Third  Degree  "  of  the  Order  of  the  Mel- 
chisedec  Priesthood.  When  we  were  all  arranged  on  one  side 
against  the  wall,  a  number  of  individuals  entered  who  were 
supposed  to  represent  the  ministers  of  every  denomination  and 
religion  upon  the  face  of  the  earth.  The  devil  also  makes  his 
appearance  again.  The  ministers  set  forth  the  various  claims 
of  their  respective  creeds, — each  one  striving  to  show  that  his 
is  the  purest  and  the  best, — but  the  devil  sows  division  and 
hatred  among  them,  and  a  good  deal  of  confusion  ensues. 

Then  came  in  personages  representing  Peter,  James,  and 
John,  the  Apostles,  and  they  commanded  ministers,  devil,  and 
all,  to  depart.  They  then  appeared  to  organise  a  new  Church 
in  which  the  true  principles  of  the  Gospel  were  to  be  taught ; 
our  Temple  robes  were  also  all  changed  from  the  right 
shoulder  to  the  left,  indicating  that  we  were  now  in  the  true 
Church,  and  that  we  were  to  be  absolutely  and  in  every  way 
dependent  upon  the  priesthood.  Another  grip  was  then  given 
to  us,  and  thus  we  received  the  third  degree  of  the  Order  of 
Melchisedec  Priesthood.  In  that  room  was  a  division  made  of 
bleached  muslin  ;  in  the  division  a  door  and  in  the  door  a  hole, 
with  a  lap  of  muslin  over  it,  through  which  to  pass  the  hand. 
Whoever  was  on  the  other  side  could  see  us,  but  we  could  not 

GRIPS    AND    PASSWORDS    OF    THE    "THIRD    DEGREE."    36/ 

see  them.  The  men  first  approached  this  door.  A  person 
representing  the  Apostle  Peter  appeared  at  the  opening  and 
demanded  who  was  there.  He  was  told  that  some  one  desired 
to  enter.  Hands  came  through  the  opening  in  the  muslin 
curtain,  and  mysterious  fingers  cut  a  mark  on  the  left  breast 
of  the  men's  shirts — one  mark  also  over  the  abdomen,  and  one 
over  the  right  knee — which  marks  the  women  religiously  imi- 
tated upon  their  own  garments  when  they  got  home.  The 
applicant  was  then  told  to  put  his  hand  through  the  opening, 
and  give  the  last  grip  belonging  to  the  "  Third  Degree,"  and 
mention  his  new.  name.  He  was  then  permitted  to  enter. 
This  was  called  "  going  behind  the  veil."  When  the  men 
were  all  admitted,  the  women  were  suffered  to  approach,  and 
were  passed  through  by  their  own  husbands.  When  a  woman 
has  no  husband  she  is  passed  through  by  one  of  the  brethren, 
and  to  those  who  are  not  going  to  be  married  or  sealed  for 
eternity  here  the  ceremonies  end. 

Now,  as  I  before  stated,  according  to  Mormon  ideas,  we  had 
never  before  been  legally  married.  It  was  therefore  neces- 
sary that  we  should  now  pass  through  that  ceremony.  We 
accordingly  were  conducted  to  a  desk  where  our  names  were 
entered  and  we  were  then  passed  into  another  room.  In  that 
room  was  a  long,  low  altar,  covered  with  red  velvet,  and  an 
arm  chair  placed  at  one  end  of  it,  in  which  sat  Brigham 
Young.  My  husband  knelt  at  one  side  of  the  altar  and  I  at 
the  other,  with  our  hands  clasped  above  it  in  the  last  grip 
which  had  been  given  to  us.  Then  the  ordinary  formula  of 
marriage  was  gone  through  with,  and  we  were  informed  that 
we  were  sealed  for  time  and  for  eternity. 

Thus  we  passed  through  the  mysteries  of  the  Endowment 
House,  and  at  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  we  found  our- 
selves at  liberty  to  return  home.  The  various  ceremonies  had 
occupied  eight  hours. 

When  we  reached  home,  my  husband  said  :  "  Well,  what  do 
you  think  of  the  Endowments  ?"  But  I  did  not  dare  to 
answer  him  truthfully  at  that  time.  Had  I  done  so,  I  should 
have  told  him  that  I  was  ashamed  and  disgusted.     Never  in 

368      "what  do  you  think  of  the  endowments?" 

all  my  life  did  I  suffer  such  humiliation  as  I  did  that  day;  for 
the  whole  time  I  was  under  the  impression  that  those  who 
officiated  looked  upon  us  as  a  set  of  silly  dupes,  and  I  felt 
annoyed*to  thmk  that  I  dared  not  tell  them  so.  So  I  told  my 
husband  that  I  would  rather  not  speak  about  it,  and  we  never 
have  spoken  of  it  to  this  day.  What  were  his  own  feelings 
about  the  matter,  I  do  not  know,  for  Mormon  wives  are  taught 
never  to  pry  into  their  husband's  feelings  or  meddle  with  their 
actions.  But  notwithstanding  all  my  feelings  in  reference  to 
the  Endowments,  so  foolish  was  I,  that  when  I  afterwards 
heard  the  brethren  and  sisters  talking  about  the  happiness 
which  they  had  experienced  while  going  through,  and  saying 
how  privileged  we  ought  to  feel  at  being  in  Zion  among  the 
Saints  of  God,  secure  in  His  Kingdom  where  we  could  bring 
up  our  children  in  the  fear  of  the  Lord,  I  began  again  to  think 
that  the  fault  was  all  in  myself,  and  that  it  was  I  who  was 
wrong  and  not  the  Endowments.  I  wondered  how,  wnth  such 
a  rebellious  heart,  I  should  ever  get  salvation,  and  I  mourned 
to  think  that  I  had  not  accepted  everything  with  the  sim- 
plicity of  a  child. 

Some  time  after  our  initiation  I  met  the  Apostle  Heber  C. 
Kimball,  and  he  asked  me  how  I  felt  upon  the  occasion.  I 
frankly  told  him  all,  but  added  that  I  regretted  feeling  so. 
He  said :  "  I  shall  see  if  you  cannot  go  through  again  ;  it  is 
not  just  the  thing,  but  I  shall  try  and  make  the  opportunity." 
Nothing  more,  however,  was  said  about  it.  But  that  which 
troubled  me  most  was  the  fact  that  while  the  oaths  were  being 
administered,  I  dropped  my  hand  and  inwardly  vowed  that  I 
would  never  subscribe  to  such  things,  and  at  the  same  time 
my  heart  was  filled  with  bitter  opposition.  This,  although  I 
did  it  involuntarily — my  better  nature  rising  within  me  and 
overcoming  my  superstition — I  thought  at  the  time  was  sinful. 
I  now,  however,  rejoice  that  such  was  the  case  ;  for  not 
having  actually  vowed  to  keep  secret  those  abominable  oaths, 
I  can  say,  without  any  cavil  or  equivocation,  that  I  have 
broken  no  promise  and  betrayed  no  trust  hj  the  discoveries 
which  I  have  just  made. 


/  ivisJi  distinctly  to  make  this  statement.  OtJiers  have  more 
or  less  divulged  the  oaths  of  the  Endowment  House,  and 
have  excused  themselves  with  much  doubtful  sopJiistry.  I 
NEVER  really  took  the  oaths,  altJiough  prcsoit,  and  therefore 
no  one  can  charge  me  zvith  treacheiy. 

At  a  later  date,  some  of  the  sisters  kindly  suggested  that 
the  spirit  of  the  Evil  One  had  entered  into  me  at  that  time. 
But  this  was  at  least  a  very  inconsistent  statement,  for  the 
Mormons  believe  that  no  evil  spirit  can  enter  into  the  En- 
dowment House. 

Of  one  thing  I  am  certain — I  was  then  indeed  a  miserable 
slave,  with  no  one  to  stretch  forth  a  kindly  hand  and  strike 
away  the  fetters  of  my  mental  degradation  and  lead  me  forth 
into  light  and  liberty. 



I  Receive  Congratulations — A  "  Bit  of  Advice  " — How  a  Woman  found  Wives 
for  Her  Husband — A  "  Rather  Backward  Man  " — How  a  Mormon  Hus- 
band was  Managed — Anxious  for  Alice  to  Marry — A  Very  Obedient  Husband 
— Marrying  for  Principle  :  Not  Love — How  Saints  are  Silly  over  New  Wives 
— Taking  Life  Easily — "  Miss  Alice  !  We  shall  See  " — Bringing  Home  a 
"  Sister  " — Wife,  Number  Three — How  a  Wife  Lost  Her  Influence — How 
a  Wife  Consoled  Herself  Under  Difficulties — Understanding  the  "Order  of 
the  Kingdom  " — The  Necessity  of  Having  Two  Wives  at  Least — Not  Need- 
ful to  Fall  in  Love — A  Good  Example. 

NOT  long  after  I  had  received  my  Endowments  my  talk- 
ative friend,  of  whom  I  have  already  spoken,  came  to  see 
me  and  to  offer  her  congratulations.  She  was  quite  enthusi- 
astic upon  the  subject,  spoke  of  the  honor  which  had  been  con- 
ferred upon  us,  and  promised  to  call  frequently  to  "  build  me 
up."  She  was  particularly  anxious  to  learn  whether  I  did  not 
feel  much  better  and  happier  now. 

On  that  point  I  could  say  little,  for  to  have  answered  her 
truthfully  would  have  provoked  discussion,  into  which  I  did 
not  care  to  enter.  I  knew,  too,  that  anything  I  said  to  her 
would  soon  be  known  to  everyone  else.  So  I  told  her  that  I 
was  feeling  well  enough. 

"  'Well  enough  !'  "  she  said,  "Is  that  how  you  feel  .-*     Come 

HOW    A    CERTAIN    LADY    MANAGED    HER    HUSBAND.        371 

now,  I  thought  you  would  have  got  over  all  that  when  you  had 
been  through  your  Endowments.  You  remind  me  of  what 
Brother  Brigham  says, — We  have  so  many  whining  women  in 
Zion  that  it  is  quite  a  reproach.  I  do  hope  that  you  are  not 
going  to  become  one  of  them.  Let  me  give  you  a  bit  of 
advice  :  The  wisest  thing  you  can  do  is  to  look  out  for  another 
wife  for  your  husband,  and  get  him  to  marry  her." 

"  Oh  My  !"  I  said,  "  What  are  you  talking  about }  You 
surely  cannot  be  in  earnest." 

"  I  never  was  more  earnest  in  my  life,"  she  answered. 
If  you  had  persuaded  your  husband  to  take  another  wife  when 
you  went  through  your  Endowments  you  would  have  got 
over  all  your  troubles  at  one  time.  The  anticipation  is  ten 
times  worse  than  the  reality." 

"  I  do  not  see  it  in  that  light,"  I  said.  "  My  own  opinion  is 
that  my  troubles  in  that  case  would  only  then  have  begun.  I 
do  not  think  that  you  yourself  are  really  happy." 

"  Oh,  nonsense  !"  she  exclaimed.  "  Why  you  can  see  how 
happy  I  am.  My  husband  has  two  other  wives,  besides  myself, 
and  a  more  comfortable  family  could  not  be." 

"  You  never  told  me,"  I  said,  "  how  your  husband  managed 
to  get  those  wives.     I  should  like  to  hear." 

"  My  husband  managed  !  Why  /le  did  not  manage  at  all ; 
it  was  I  who  arranged  everything  for  him,  and  I'll  tell  you 
how  it  was  done. 

"  During  the  Reformation,"  she  continued,  "  you,  of  course, 
know  the  men  were  constantly  urged  to  take  more  wives  ; 
but  my  husband  was  rather  backward,  and  used  to  tell  me 
there  was  plenty  of  time  and  not  the  slightest  occasion  for 
him  to  be  in  a  hurry.  I  had  my  own  opinion  of  the  matter 
and  did  not  agree  with  him,  for  you  see  I  was  afraid  that 
after  all,  he  would  pick  up  some  young  girl  or  other  and  fall 
in  love  wath  her,  and  all  my  plans  would  be  disarranged.  It 
is  you  know  much  the  best  for  the  first  wife  to  look  out  for 
some  girl  who  will  look  up  to  her  and  respect  her,  but  not  love 
her  husband  too  much,  and  then  they  are  likely  to  get  on 
well  together.  If  the  first  wife  selects  the  other  wives,  it  has 

372  "they  get  used  to  it. 

the  effect  of  showing'  them  that  the  husband  thinks  much  of 
her  judgment  and  is  wilHng  to  abide  by  it,  and  that  they  will 
have  to  do  the  same.  This,  of  course,  is  as  it  should  be.  But 
if  she  lets  her  husband  choose  his  own  wife,  he  is  almost  cer- 
tain to  take  a  fancy  to  some  one  whom  the  first  wife  does  not 
like  at  all,  and  consequently  her  authority  is  undermined. 
The  first  wife  ought  to  keep  all  the  power  in  her  own  hands." 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  I  should  not  care  much,  I  think,  who  ruled 
in  my  home  if  another  wife  was  there." 

"  You  think  so  now,"  she  replied,  "  but  when  you  get  used 
to  Polygamy  you  will  feel  quite  otherwise.  People  get  used 
to  it — the  women  as  well  as  the  men — and  then  they  leave  off 
fretting  and  become  less  selfish.  But  I  was  going  to  tell  you 
how  I  managed  my  husband. 

"  I  was  very  anxious,  as  I  told  you,  to  find  another  wife  for 
him,  and  I  took  into  consideration  all  the  suitable  girls  I 
knew.  There  was  some  objection  to  almost  eveiy  one.  Some 
were  too  pretty  and  I  knew  I  should  detest  them  ;  and  others 
were  not  good-looking,  and  those  my  husband  could  not  bear. 
So  I  waited  patiently,  but  did  not  give  up  the  hope  of  suc- 
ceeding eventually.  At  last  I  met  with  a  girl  who  I  thought 
would  do.  She  was  certainly  not  bad-looking,  but  she  was 
very  young  and  I  thought  I  should  be  able  to  manage  her. 
The  name  of  this  girl  was  Alice  Maynard ;  she  was  a  neigh- 
bor of  ours,  and  one  of  a  large  family.  She  seemed  to  me  to 
be  a  quiet,  modest  little  creature,  and  I  knew  that  she  had  to 
work  hard  and  received  very  little  in  return.  In  fact,  she  led 
at  home  a  life  of  drudgery,  and  even  her  very  clothing  bore 
witness  to  the  poverty  of  the  family.  Her  mother  had  often 
told  me  that  she  felt  badly  for  Alice,  for  Mr.  Maynard  had 
three  other  wives  and  it  was  more  than  he  could  do  to  sup- 
port them  all  properly 

"  I  called  one  day  upon  Mrs.  Maynard  to  broach  the  matter 
to  her.  She  received  me  very  kindly  and  entered  into  my 
views  at  once.  She  was  anxious,  she  said,  for  Alice  to  get 
married,  for  then  she  would  be  better  off.  I  asked  her  how 
she  would  like  her  to  marry  my  husband,  and  told  her  that  we 


were  very  comfortably  off,  as  you  know  we  are,  and  that  my 
husband  owned  his  house  and  lot  and  was  doing  a  very  good 
business,  and,  of  course,  ought  to  take  another  wife.  Would 
she  agree  to  my  proposal  and  let  me  mention  Alice  to  him  ? 

"  She  said,  she  herself,  had  no  objection,  but  that  perhaps  my 
husband  might  not  like  Alice,  or  Alice  might  not  like  him. 

"  I  felt  indignant  at  the  idea  that  any  girl  should  hesitate  to 
marry  my  husband,  and  I  told  Sister  Maynard  that  there  could 
not  possibly  be  any  hesitation  on  Alice's  part.  '  I'm  sure  I 
have  no  objection,'  she  said,  '  if  Alice  has  none.  I  should 
only  be  too  happy  to  see  my  child  in  a  more  comfortable 

'•  Well  then,  we'll  consider  the  matter  settled,  I  said,  and 
asked  if  I  could  see  Alice  ;  so  her  mother  called  her  in,  and  I 
proposed  to  her  for  my  husband.  You  can  guess,  perhaps, 
how  astonished  I  was  when  she  actually  laughed  in  my  face 
and  said  she  should  like  to  consider  the  matter !  I  did  not, 
however,  show  her  what  I  thought,  but  assented  to  what  she 
said,  and  invited  her  to  come  and  take  tea  with  us, 

"  My  husband  had  often  told  me,  when  I  was  teasing  him 
about  taking  another  wife,  that  he  would  willingly  marry  any 
girl  I  might  choose  for  him  ;  and  I  felt  pleased  at  this  for  it 
showed  confidence  in  my  judgment.  So  when  he  came  in, 
later  in  the  day,  I  told  him  I  had  found  a  wife  for  him  at  last, 
and  that  I  knew  he  would  like  her.  '  Why,  Ann,'  he  said, 
'  I  do  believe  you  are  going  crazy  over  the  wife  question  ;  but 
if  you  are  I  do  not  want  you  to  drive  me  crazy  also.  I  really 
thought  this  was  too  bad,  after  all  my  trouble  for  him  ;  but  nev- 
ertheless I  was  resolved  that  the  marriage  should  take  place. 

"  Three  days  after  that,  in  accordance  with  my  invitation, 
Alice  came  to  take  tea  with  us,  and  I  fixed  her  up  to  look 
nice.  When  she  was  ready,  I  took  her  into  the  parlor  to 
introduce  her  to  my  husband  who  was  sitting  there  reading, 
Henry,  I  said,  this  is  Miss  Maynard — the  young  lady  of  whom 
I  spoke  to  you  the  other  day.  He  looked  up  from  his  paper, 
and,  to  my  astonishment,  said,  'Why,  Alice,  my  girl,  how  do 
you  do  .''     How  are  mother  and  father?* 


"  What ;  I  said,  do  you  know  Alice,  Henry  ? 

" '  Certainly  I  do/  he  answered,  *  Alice  and  I  have  met 
many  times  before  this,  haven't  we,  Alice  ? ' 

" '  Yes,  sir,'  she  said,  and,  oh,  so  demurely.  "Why,  Sistef 
Stenhouse,  I  began  to  think  that  I  had  actually  been  deceived, 
and  that  while  I  had  innocently  supposed  that  I  had  found  out 
the  girl  myself,  it  was  the  very  one  upon  whom  my  husband  had 
had  his  eye  for  a  long  while  past.  I  watched  them,  however, 
very  narrowly,  for  I  was  determined  that  if  my  husband 
had  really  taken  a  fancy  for  the  girl  he  should  never  have 

"  Why,  that  would  have  facilitated  matters,  would  it  not  .-•  " 
I  said. 

"  Do  you  think,"  she  replied,  "  that  I  would  have  allowed 
them  to  marry,  if  they  loved  each  other .''  No,  indeed  !  The 
Saints  marry  from  principle  and  not  from  love,  as  Brother 
Brigham  has  often  told  us.  I  hope  you  believe  me,  dear, 
when  I  say  that  I'm  not  at  all  a  jealous  woman,  but  if  my 
husband  dared  to  fall  in  love  with  a  girl  and  to  hide  it  from 
me,  I  could  not  stand  it  I  am  sure.  No !  principle  is  the  only 
thing, — there  can  be  no  love  in  Polygamy.  If  a  man  loved 
his  wife  do  you  think  he  could  have  the  heart  to  pain  her  by 
taking  another  ^  On  the  other  hand,  it  is  because  of  the 
love  which  still  remains  in  their  hearts,  and  which  they  weary 
themselves  to  crush  out,  that  so  many  of  the  first  wives  are . 
miserable.  But  I  was  going  to  tell  you  about  Alice.  I  was 
mistaken  in  thinking  that  my  husband  had  been  paying  her 
any  attentions.  It  appeared  that  he  was  acquainted  with  her 
father  and  mother,  and  that  at  their  house  he  had  frequently 
seen  the  child  Alice,  but  never  supposed  she  was  the  Miss 
Maynard  of  whom  I  had  spoken.  But  now  they  had  come 
together  at  last  he  took  to  her  kindly  and  she  to  him,  and 
really  I  sometimes  almost  thought  that  they  wished  to  ignore 
me  altogether. 

"  I  did  not  let  them  waste  much  time  fussing  with  one 
another,  but  they  got  on  very  rapidly,  nevertheless  ;  and  before 
I  had  had  time  to  arrange  matters  properly,  my  husband   told 


me  that  to  please  me  he  was  going  to  marry  AKx^e.  Only 
fancy  me  being  pleased  at  him  marrying  Alice !  Why,  it 
wasn't  to  please  myself  that  I  introduced  the  child  to  him,  but 
simply  because,  if  he  must  have  another  wife,  it  was  Certainly 
best  for  me  to  choose  one  whom  I  could  manage.  However, 
they  were  married  not  long  after,  and  really  I  think  I  never 
was  more  disgusted  in  my  life  than  I  was  on  that  occasion. 
I  was  not  jealous,  but  I  do  think  he  might  have  paid  her  a 
little  less  attention.  In  fact  I  quite  regretted,  when  it  was 
too  late,  that  I  had  ever  brought  them  together. 

"  The  Mormon  men  always  do  make  themselves  silly  over 
their  new  wives,  and  I  did  not  expect  my  husband  to  be  an 
exception  to  the  rule  ;  but  I  was  perfectly  astonished  at  the 
change  that  took  place  in  Alice.  Instead  of  the  quiet,  modest 
girl  she  used  to  be,  she  put  on  all  sorts  of  airs,  and  treated  me 
as  if  I  were  of  not  the  slightest  consequence.  I  couldn't 
stand  that,  and  I  resolved,  if  it  were  only  to  take  the  pride 
out  of  her,  I  would  get  my  husband  to  marry  another  wife 
still.  He  wouldn't  object,  I  knew,  for  he  takes  life  very 
easily  and  he  has  a  great  respect  for  my  opinion.  Besides 
which,  he  is  quite  well  enough  off  to  support  three  wives,  and 
as  a  matter  of  duty,  if  nothing  else,  he  ought  to  do  so.  That 
would  soon  bring  Miss  Alice  to  a  proper  state  of  mind,  and 
she  needed  something  of  the  sort,  for,  do  you  know,  she  had 
actually  made  that  silly  husband  of  mine  think  that  she  ought 
to  be  treated  with  the  same  consideration  as  myself." 

"  Well  but,"  I  said,  "  if  the  principle  of  Polygamy  is  of  God, 
it  is  only  just  that  all  the  wives  should  be  treated  alike.  If 
my  husband  were  to  marry  another  woman,  much  as  it  would 
pain  me,  I  should  certainly  treat  her  as  an  equal." 

"  Then,"  she  replied,  "  if  you  do  so  you  will  find  that  the 
first  wives  will  have  nothing  to  do  with  you.  You  will  find, 
when  you  come  to  be  better  acquainted  with  the  people  here, 
that  the  first  wives  do  not  waste  much  love  over  the  poly- 
gamic wives  ;  and,  of  course,  as  a  rule,  the  polygamic  wives 
detest  the  first  wives.  Then  the  plural  wives  get  together 
and  talk  all  manner  of  evil  about  the  first  wives,  who  do  pretty 

376  SISTER  Ann's  labor  of  love. 

much  the  same  in  respect  to  them.  It  is  only  natural  that 
they  should  do  so. 

"  But  I  was  going  to  tell  you,"  she  continued,  "  how  I 
selected  the  third  wife.  There  was  an  emigrant-train  expected 
in  every  day ;  and  you  know,  when  the  emigrants  arrive,  all 
those  women  who  want  wives  for  their  husbands,  and  all 
those  men  who  want  to  choose  for  themselves,  go  down  to  the 
camping-ground,  and  if  they  see  a  girl  who  takes  their  fancy, 
they  ask  her  if  she  has  got  a  place  to  go  to,  and  if  she  has  not 
they  offer  to  receive  her  themselves.  There  are  hundreds  of 
young  girls  who  arrive  here  without  any  one  to  look  after 
them,  and  who  are  only  too  glad  to  accept  a  home  for  the 
winter.  Now  this  was  exactly  what  I  did.  I  went  down  to 
the  camp  and  looked  round  for  myself,  and  at  last  my  eyes 
rested  upon  a  young  woman  of  about  thirty  or  thirty-five 
years  of  age,  who  I  thought  would  be  a  more  suitable  wife  for 
my  husband  than  that  giggling  chit  that  I  chose  for  him  at 
first.  I  decided  at  once  that  she  would  do,  so  I  went  up  to 
her  and  asked  her  if  she  had  any  friends.  She  said  she  had  a 
brother  living  in  the  City  ;  but  when  I  explained  to  her  how 
we  were  situated  and  said  that  I  should  like  her  to  come  and 
stay  with  us  till  she  could  look  round  a  little  for  herself,  she 
agreed  at  once.  Now — I  thought — Miss  Alice,  we  shall  see 
whether  you  are  going  to  have  things  all  your  own  way  any 
longer  ! 

"  I  told  her,  however,  as  well  as  my  husband,  that  I  had 
brought  home  a  sister  to  stay  with  us  awhile,  and  they 
received  her  very  kindly,  and  she  soon  made  herself  very 
useful  and  agreeable  to  us  all.  The  Bishop  came  and  talked 
to  my  husband,  and  he  made  no  difficulty  at  all  in  acceding  to 
my  wishes,  and  before  long  he  made  our  visitor — wife,  number 
three  ;  and  Alice,  as  a  matter  of  course,  lost  a  good  deal  of  her 
influence  over  him.  For  my  own  part,  I  am  much  more  com- 
fortable. The  two  plural  wives  do  nearly  all  the  work,  and  I 
have  little  else  to  do  than  superintend  the  household  and 
enjoy  myself.  My  husband  is  one  of  those  quiet  sort  of  men 
who  never  interfere  with  domestic  affairs,  and  I  have  matters 

"set  one  to  watch  the  other.  377 

pretty  much  my  own  way  now.  The  only  thing  that  annoys 
me  is  his  fondness  for  AHce  who  makes  herself  appear  most 
amiable  to  hhn,  deceitful  thing !  I  can't  break  him  of  that, 
but  I  otten  tell  him  that  he  will  find  her  out  some  day.  He 
tells  me  that  he  looks  upon  her  as  a  child  and  feels  like  a 
father  towards  her ;  no  woman,  he  says,  can  ever  have  his 
love  but  me.  That  sounds  all  very  well,  but  as  for  believing 
it,  that  is  quite  another  thing : — I  keep  my  eye  on  them  and 
watch  them  well."  • 

"  But,"  I  said,  "  it  appears  to  me  that  it  would  have  been  far 
better  if  you  had  never  given  him  another  wife  at  all.  You 
would  have  been  saved  from  annoyance,  and  the  privacy  of 
your  home  would  not  have  been  disturbed.  I  am  the  more 
surprised,  as  your  husband  did  not  himself  desire  it." 

"  When  you  understand  better  the  order  of  the  kingdom, 
you  will  not  speak  in  that  way,"  she  said.  "  Do  you  suppose 
that  I  should  be  satisfied  to  be  the  wife  of  a  man  who  could 
not  exalt  me  in  the  celestial  kingdom — a  man  with  only  one 
wife  ^  Why  I  have  often  told  my  husband  that  if  he  did  not 
get  other  wives  I  would  leave  him.  It  is  necessary  for  a  man 
to  have  two  wives  at  least  if  he  would  enter  into  the  celestial 
kingdom.  That  is  why  I  have  been  so  anxious  to  get  wives 
for  my  husband.  At  the  same  time  there  is  no  necessity 
for  him  to  fall  in  love  and  act  in  a  silly  way  over  them.  The 
only  way  in  such  a  case  is  to  set  one  to  watch  the  other,  and 
then  they  are  pretty  certain  to  keep  the  old  man  straight. 
You  think,  perhaps,  that  I  don't  feel  all  this,  but  you  must 
not  be  deceived  by  appearances.  I  try  to  do  the  will  of 
Heaven  with  a  smile  on  my  face  ;  and  the  brethren  have 
often  told  me  that  if  the  other  sisters  were  more  like  me  they 
would  not  have  so  much  difficulty  in  establishing  Polygamy. 
But,  dear  me.  Sister  Stenhouse,  what  a  long  talk  we've  had  ! 
I'll  come  and  see  you  sopn  again,  but  I  must  hasten  away 
now,  for  my  husband  will  be  home  to  supper  by  this  time." 

So  she  left  me  wondering  over  her  strange  story  of  a 
woman's  experience  in  supplying  her  own  husband  with 



Seeking  for  Old  Friends — In  the  Bail-Room — Social  Life — How  Brother 
Brigham  Built  a  Theatre — Short-Sightedness  of  the  Prophet — Poets  and 
Polygamy  Disagree — What  a  Woman  Would  Think — The  Ideal  of  True 
Love — Unpleasant  Comparisons — Bearing  the  Cross — Rather  Old  Boys — Sub- 
duing a  Wife  and  Getting  a  Wife — What  the  Wives  Say  in  Secret — Intro- 
duced to  An  Apostle's  Five  Wives — "  I'm  Afraid  You  are  Not  Too  Strong 
in  the  Faith  " — The  "  Model  Saint  " — Improved  Prospects — An  Old  Friend 
Discovered — Another  Victim  to  Polygamy — A  Divorce  for  Ten  Dollars  ! — 
Pin-Money  for  Brother  Brigham's  Wives — Four  Husbands  of  a  Girl  of  Twenty- 
One  !— How  Will  the  Knot  be  Untied  ? 

SPRING  opened  bright  and  beautiful,  and  I  began  to  feel 
more  at  home  in  Zion  and  more  contented  with  my  posi- 
tion. I  do  not,  however,  mean  that  I  was  satisfied  with 
Polygamy  or  that  I  contemplated  calmly  the  prospect  of  my 
husband  taking  a  plurality  of  wives  ;  but  that  I  had  begun  to 
adapt  myself  to  the  manners  and  customs  of  the  Saints,  and 
had  already  formed  many  of  those  pleasant  intimacies  which 
lend  such  a  charm  to  life. 

My  talkative  friend  was  a  constant  visitor  at  our  house  ; 
and  her  strange  views  of  life  and  of  that  all-absorbing  subject 
— the  management  of  man  under* the  plural  wife  system — 
together  with  her  lively  conversation  and  unceasing  flow  of 
spirits,  made  her  visits  acceptable  ;  and  she  often  banished 
from  my  mind  thoughts  which,  if  unchecked,  would  have  made 

"TWO    FACES    I    LONGED    TO    SEE."  379 

my  life  unbearable.  Her  husband,  too,  poor  creature,  some- 
times followed  in  her  train,  and  on  one  occasion  she  actually 
brought  Alice  with  her  that  I  might  see  what  sort  of  a  girl 
she  was.  I  found  her  quite  good-looking,  intelligent,  and  as 
pleasant  a  little  body  as  one  could  wish  to  know  ;  but  at  the 
same  time  I  detected  in  the  expression  of  her  features — lively 
and  self-reliant  as  she  was — too  many  traces  of  that  look  of 
subdued  sadness  which  casts  a  cloud  over  the  countenance  of 
every  woman  living  in  Polygamy. 

Other  friends,  besides,  I  had,  too  numerous  to  mention — 
friends  whom  I  had  known  in  England,  with  whom  I  had 
wept  over  the  horrors  of  Polygamy  when  it  was  first  an-- 
nounced  ;  and  dear  Swiss  friends,  not  a  few,  who  had  come 
to  Zion  before  us  and  were  now  quite  settled  and  at  home. 

Two  faces  I  longed  to  see,  but  of  their  owners  I  could  at 
first  get  no  tidings.  Poor,  dear  Madame  Bailiff — my  old  Swiss 
friend,  who  in  past  days  had  shown  me  so  many  kindnesses 
and  whom  I  had  so  tenderly  loved — where  was  she  .-'  Some- 
where, I  knew,  in  Zion,  but  not  in  Salt  Lake  City  ;  and  to  the 
chapter  of  accidents,  I  felt  that  I  must  leave  it,  whether  I  ever 
saw  her  again  or  not.  And  there,  too,  was  Mary  Burton,  with 
all  her  sweet,  winning  ways — she  whom  I  had  known  as  a 
child  ;  whose  early  womanhood  had  been  darkened  by  appre- 
hensions of  that  accursed  abomination — Polygamy  ;  who  had 
suffered  that  terrible  martyrdom  upon  the  Plains  ;  who,  for 
aught  I  knew,  might  at  that  very  time  need  most  my  sympathy 
and  sisterly  love — Oh,  where  was  she  }  Poor  Mary  !  Might 
it  not  be,  that  worn  out  with  the  fearful  sufferings  which  she 
had  endured,  she  had  gone  to  that  peaceful  rest  which  she  had 
so  vainly  sought  on  earth  .-*  I  had  asked  every  one  who  came 
across  my  path,  who  was  likely  to  know,  whether  they  could 
give  me  any  information  as  to  where  she  was  ;  but  I  could 
learn  nothing  more  than  that,  not  long  after  their  arrival,  she 
and  her  husband  had  left  the  city  and  had  gone  to  one  of  the 
Settlements  in  Southern  Utah.  I  had,  therefore,  to  wait  in 
uncertainty  for  any  chance  which  might  accidentally  bring  us 
again  together. 


■  I  was  very  glad  that  the  winter  was  over,  for  we  had  had 
rather  a  rough  time  during  our  first  few  months  in  Salt  Lake 
City,  and  the  various  associations  of  our  life  had  tended  rather 
to  strengthen  than  to  relieve  my  apprehensions  respecting  the 
future.  ■  The  ball  season,  which,  of  course,  I  cannot  pass  by 
in  silence,  had  been  a  source  of  annoyance,  and,  I  may  say, 
disgust  to  me.  I  had  seen  so  much  that  was  unpleasant  at 
those  balls  ;  and  although  what  I  witnessed  did  not  then 
affect  me  personally,  yet  it  was  painful  to  see  others  suffer, 
and  to  hear  poor  women,  whose  hearts  were  crushed  and  broken, 
tell  to  each  other  in  whispers  the  sorrow  which  had  blighted 
their  existence. 

Dancing  was  always  very  popular  among  the  Saints,  and  the 
leading  men  among  them  have  wisely  fostered  a  taste  for  it. 
When  the  people  first  went  out  to  Utah,  as  may  be  supposed, 
life  was  hard  and  amusements  were  few.  The  Mormons,  as  a 
body,  are  examples  of  industry  and  diligence  ;  to  them  labor 
is  one  of  the  cardinal  virtues  ;  and  like  all  other  pioneers 
they  found  plenty  of  employment  for  their  energies.  Houses 
had  to  be  built,  land  prepared  for  cultivation,  the  commonest 
necessaries  of  life  to  be  manufactured  or  raised  ;  and  busy 
hands  were  perpetually  engaged  in  a  thousand  useful  indus- 
tries. But  when  the  day  was  over,  and  the  dust  of  toil  was 
washed  from  the  careful  brow,  it  was  but  natural  that  the  need 
of  a  little  recreation  should  be  felt. 

So  in  very  early  days  Brigham  built  a  theatre,  and  a  very 
fair  amount  of  histrionic  talent  was  developed  among  the 
Saints.  The  Social  Hall,  in  which  were  held  balls,  public 
entertainments,  and  other  amusements,  was  used  for  his- 
trionic performances  before  the  theatre  was  built.  Brigham 
owned  the  theatre.  Money  was  to  be  made  out  of  it ;  and 
the  chance  of  making  money  Brother  Brigham  never  per- 
mitted to  slip  through  his  fingers.  Brigham's  eyes  were  sharp 
enough  to  see  that  a  theatre  would  be  to  him  a  source  of 
profit,  but  he  did  not  look  far  enough.  That  theatre, — under 
the  immediate  direction  of  the  Prophet  ;  with  his  own 
daughters  acting  in  it ;  with  the  plays  which  were  performed 

BRIGHAM  young's  THEATRE.  38J 

under  his  own  censorship — has  been  one  of  the  many  causes 
which  have  perceptibly,  although  perhaps  indirectly,  shaken 
the  hold  which  Mormonism  had  upon  many  a  woman's  mind. 

A  man  would  probably  witness  the  performance  of  a  play 
and  return  from  the  theatre  with  no  other  thought  than  the 
remembrance  of  an  hour's  amusement.  But  not  so  a  woman. 
To  her  the  play  suggested  something  more,  and  her  daughters 
would  share  her  thoughts.  Daily  and  hourly,  it  might  be,  the 
effects  of  Polygamy  would  be  brought  under  their  notice  as  a 
matter  affecting  themselves  personally.  They  might  be  firm 
in  the  faith,  but  the  observant  instincts  of  their  sex  could 
never  be  wholly  crushed.  They  would  notice  the  neglect 
which  wives  endured  even  from  good  husbands  ;  they  would 
see  a  man  leaving  the  wife  of  his  youth,  the  mother  of  his 
children,  and  careless  of  the  cruel  wrong  he  did  her,  leave  her 
in  lonely  sorrow  while  he  was  spending  his  time  in  love- 
making  with  some  young  girl  who  might  have  been  his 
daughter.  They  would  see  a  wife  crushing  out  from  her  heart 
the  holiest  impulses  which  God  had  implanted  there,  striving 
to  destroy  all  affection  for  him  whose  dearest  treasure  that 
affection  should  have  been,  because,  indeed,  Polygamy  could 
not  exist  with  love.  They  would  see,  and  know,  and  them- 
selves personally  feel,  the  degradation  and  misery  of  the 
"  Celestial  Order  of  Marriage  "  ;  and  that  to  them  would  be 
the  practical  picture  of  life. 

But  in  the  theatre — short-sighted  Brigham,  to  allow  it  to  be 
so! — another  picture  would  be  presented  for  their  consider- 
ation,— a  picture,  it  might  be,  ideal  in  its  details  and  surround- 
ings, but  true  to  the  letter  in  the  lesson  which  it  conveyed 
and  the  thoughts  which  it  suggested.  The  disgusting,  the 
brutalising  cruelties  of  Polygamy  were  never  represented  on 
the  stage.  Thoughts  so  coarse,  so  sensual,  could  never  in- 
spire the  true  poet's  pen.  No  ;  the  tale  of  love  as  the  poet 
tells  it,  is  all  that  is  refined,  and  chaste,  and  delicate,  and  pure 
— the  commingling  of  two  souls,  the  unison  of  two  loving 
hearts,  the  hopes,  the  aspirations,  the  tender  joyful  sorrow^  of 
two  fond  natures — of  two  alone!     Such  is  the  picture  pre- 


sented  as  the  ideal  of  the  beautiful  and  of  the  good.  Then, 
too,  the  delicate  attentions  of  the  devoted  lover — his  happiness 
even  in  the  shadow  of  a  smile  from  Jier, — the  lofty  pedestal 
upon  which  to  his  imagination  she  stands,  a  queen  and  peer- 
less ; — or  the  confiding  love  of  the  heroine  of  the  story — 
blushingly  confessing  to  herself  that  there  is  one  heart  on 
earth  which  is  all  her  own  and  in  which  none  but  herself  can 
ever  rule  or  reign. 

The  Mormon  women  are  not  devoid  of  common  sense, 
nor  are  they  destitute  of  those  quick  perceptions  which  under 
all  circumstances  distinguish  their  sex.  They  see  on  the  stage 
representations  of  the  happiness  attendant  upon  love  and  mar- 
riage, such  as  God  ordained,  and  such  as  finds  a  response  in 
every  heart  ;  and  they  compare  such  pleasant  pictures  with 
what  they  know  and  have  witnessed  of  Polygamy,  and  they 
draw  painful  inferences  therefrom.  Their  faith  may  be  proof 
against  apostasy,  but  the  impression  left  upon  their  minds 
produces  its  effect  notwithstanding. 

Another  institution  was  the  dance  Brigham  and  the  lead- 
ers knew  that  it  would  never  do  to  leave  the  people  without 
amusements  of  some  kind,  and  thus  the  balls  and  social  gath- 
erings were  originated.  The  idea  of  Prophets,  Apostles,  High- 
Priests,  and  Patriarchs  attending  a  ball  and  joining  in  a  dance 
must  appear  grotesquely  incongruous  to  the  Gentile  mind  ; 
but  out  among  the  Mormons  it  is  quite  the  thing ;  and  to  the 
men  those  balls  and  parties  were  very  pleasant. 

I  do  not  think  that  many  of  the  Mormon  women  enjoyed 
the  ball  season,  and  I  know  to  some  of  them  it  was  the  most 
painful  part  of  their  lives.  It  is  a  cruel  thing  for  a  woman 
anywhere  to  know  that  her  husband's  affections  are  divided, 
that  she  is  not  his  only  love,  and  that  his  heart  is  no  longer 
all  her  own.  But  far  worse  is  the  lot  of  the  wife  in  Utah. 
She  has  to  see  and  be  present  when  the  love-making  is  going 
on,  when  her  husband  is  flirting  and  saying  soft  nonsense,  or 
looking  unutterable  things  at  silly  girls  who  are  young  enough 
to  be  her  daughters  ; — nay,  her  own  daughters  and  her  hus- 
band's may  actually  be  older  than  the  damsel  he  is  courting 

RATHER    OLD     "  BOYS."  383 

for  his  second  wife !  Such  an  outrage  upon  the  holiest  feel- 
ings of  womanhood  would  not  for  a  moment  be  tolerated  in 
any  civilised  community;  but  among  the  Saints  women  are 
taught  that  this  is  but  one  part  of  that  cross  which  we  all 
have  got  to  bear.  Cross-bearing  is  all  very  well,  and  I  do  not 
doubt  that  sorrow  and  trial  have  a  sanctifying  influence  upon 
the  soul,  but  by  all  means  let  us  have  a  fair  division  of  the 
burden.  It  is  not  just  that  the  heaviest  end  of  the  beam 
should  be  placed  on  poor,  weak  woman's  shoulders,  and  that 
her  "  lord  "  should  even  find  pleasure  in  that  cross  which 
weighs  her  to  the  dust  and  crushes  out  from  her  weary  soul 
the  last  sparks  of  lovo,  and  happiness,  and  hope  !  How  sweetly 
did  the  men  preach  patience  and  submission  to  the  will  of 
Heaven.  I  wonder  where  their  own  patience  and  submission 
would  have  been  had  matters  been  reversed  and  their  wives 
had  been  taught  that  it  was  their  privilege  and  a  religious  duty 
to  court,  and  flirt  with  and  marry  men  younger  and  handsomer 
than  their  husbands ! 

The  brethren  never  forget  what  Brother  Brigham  once  said 
about  the  Mormon  men  being  all  boys  under  a  hundred  years 
of  age,  and  they  do  not  neglect  their  privileges.  Here  in  the 
ball-room  you  may  see  men  of  three-score  years  and  even  older 
joining  in  the  dance  with  girls  of  sixteen  and  even  younger — 
making  love  to  them,  flirting  with  them,  marrying  them.  Age 
or  plain  looks  are  nothing  with  such  men  ;  the  girls  are  taught 
that  they  can  exalt  them  to  greater  honor  and  happiness  in 
heaven  than  young  and  untried  men  could,  and  that  they  ought 
to  feci  honored  by  receiving  tender  attentions  from  the  chosen 
servants  of  the  Lord.  One  wife,  or  even  half-a-dozen,  if  they 
chance  to  have  so  many,  of  course  will  not  stand  in  the  way. 
The  husband  is  the  lord  and  master,  and  a  woman's  wishes 
count  for  nought. 

In  the  ball-room  the  company  of  the  first  wives  and,  in  fact, 
of  many  of  the  plural  wives, — once  worshipped,  but  who  "  had 
had  their  day  " — was  not  so  much  sought  as  that  of  young  and 
interesting  maidens  ;  and  after  having  stood  up  with  their 
husbands  in  the  first  dance,  as  a  matter  of  form,  many  ot  those 


forlorn  wives  might  be  seen  sitting  along  the  sides  of  the  hall, 
keeping  each  other  company  and  talking  over  their  sorrows. 
We  used  to  call  these  poor  ladies  "  the  wall-flowers."  Sitting 
there  watchful,  noting  all  that  their  husbands  did  or  said,  those 
poor  women  were  in  themselves  a  touching  protest  against  the 
cruelty  of  the  system,  such  as  none  but  a  Mormon  heart  could 
have  resisted. 

But  for  that  horrible  system,  these  balls  and  parties  would, 
of  course,  have  been  extremely  pleasant.  With  the  feeling  of 
fraternity  which  exists  among  the  Saints,  such  gatherings 
ought  only  to  be  a  source  of  pleasure  ;  but  Polygamy  blighted 
everything,  and  it  is  with  feelings  almost  of  hatred  that  I  re- 
call some  of  those  occasions.  How  many  an  aching  heart  has 
there  felt  weary — felt  so  weary  as  to  long  for  death.  No 
change  of  feature  might  betray  the  mental  struggle,  but  the 
bitterness  of  the  soul  was  all  the  same.  And  I  have  seen 
wives  there  whose  husbands  paid  them  marked  attentions,  so 
that  the  girls  to  whom  they  were  making  love  might  notice 
their  devotion  and  draw  favorable  auguries  for